I thought I might as well put out a list of people I'd like to commission, not only to remind myself for when my life isn't a gigantic trainwreck, but also to bring your attention to them. A few (Not all) in this list will be NSFW, so y'know, don't have children or family around if you decide to open some of these links without the SFW filter turned on. I'll also include a list down at the bottom for people I've already commissioned or gotten art from in general, please check them out too.

(Subject to change, I may add more people that I've forgotten now or more people I see in the future. I'll also update the list of people I've commissioned.)

 lealong
 annya
 spicesandfire
 commissionwhore
 aelwen
 crimsontigon
 dragonfu
 witchofavalon
 ghoulhound
 honeycest
 howsplendid
 kittentits
 kittystarpaw
 waitress
 zyira
 yogoat
 eyeswings

People I've commissioned/gotten art from
 affle
 moets
 komainumidoriyama
 turtlepaws (Made my current avatar)
 nomdelights
 combatraccoon
 screamingwolf
 andogg

I feel like I should tell people key things about my fursona for commissions and when people draw her in general, but I don't really know how to. I guess the problems are mostly about her body type and the breed of cat she's based on. I draw her in bulkier clothes because I'm very self conscious about my own weight, so I prefer wearing clothes bigger than I need them. It's passed on to her design although she's supposed to be a very, very thin framed character. Basically, she has the body type I'd love to have. She's really thin and doesn't have much muscle or fat. That brings up another challenge, regarding her breed. She's a Maine Coon, and if you've ever seen one, you know they're gigantic and roughly 95% fluff. I've seen pictures of some that reach the size of medium sized dogs.

I like to think I get her body type decently well (Although she's supposed to be a B cup and I draw her breasts too big. I'm trying to fix that :X )

I just kinda thought about this because I commissioned someone around 2 months ago and I've seen progress occasionally, and the artist draws her almost like a tabby. The body type is pretty spot on, but nobody, not even me, draws her as fluffy as she should be. I try to emphasize the fur by making her "hair" just longer tufts of fur, but that's something people don't seem to notice either. She's always drawn with hair on top of her fur, which just seems a little weird to me, artistically ^^;

Most of this probably just comes from my style leading to people not knowing how to incorporate that stuff into their own.

Maybe one day I'll find the best way to portray her so that it gets rid of these issues. Hopefully. I like my cute fluffball.

I've been really quiet for a while and haven't even gotten back to a comment, I'm sorry about that. I've also done a ton of sketching but haven't actually edited anything. I've got like, 5 pictures I started editing but never finished.

I feel like I'm in one of the worst depressive slumps of my life. Nearly as bad as what I went through 4 years ago.

I don't want to go into a huge amount of detail because if I told you guys everything that happened 4 years ago, it would take forever. But I'll sum it up the best I can: I was forced to pick a college course, I took it and had to also keep my job, one was in the city, the other in the suburbs where I lived, I took the bus everywhere. A friend of mine committed suicide and since I was the last person he talked to, and because I was stupid and thought I had talked him out of it over text and that was enough, I blamed myself for not saving him. I still do. I drank a lot, I was sexually harassed by an older man at my internship (I worked in a hospital cleaning up blood, guts and all sorts of horrendous things that'll make your stomach sick), and all while I was breaking down, I was being cheated on and then left by my now ex. I failed in killing myself and ran away from home shortly after because I would have to go back to working at the hospital and I didn't want my family to suffer through me slowly dying.

After that, I stopped drawing. It was something my ex and I both loved and we both connected through. I began hating something I used to love doing, if I tried drawing and it didn't go exactly right, I'd throw the sketchbook to the side and get angry.

A few months ago I went through something pretty bad in my romantic life and was again easily replaced. I fell ill shortly after and I haven't been able to work for about 3 months now. Although I'm returning for 5 hours next week (That's it), it doesn't help the stress caused by being forced out. I might only have about 1 month's pay left before I have to live on my friend's couch because the store I work at is privately owned and a lot of owners don't like transferring people to stores they don't own.

I'm going to be really frank here. I'm fucked. I'm completely and utterly fucked right now. I'm sorry I'm complaining do much, I don't want to fill this page with negativity. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry this is annoying. I can tell it is.

I'm going to go lay down.

-Snow

Ok, so I have a pet rabbit, her name is Maddy and she's an albino Netherlands Dwarf. If you don't know what that breed is, think about those tiny little rabbits with the short muzzles and the tiny ears. That's basically Maddy in a nutshell.

I was informed when I bought her that I'd have to get her spayed early in life specifically because she could develop ovarian cancer due to the lack of breeding. I'm not insane enough to buy her a boyfriend. I'd rather not drown in bunnies.

I've spent the past couple years looking for a vet who could provide the surgery, but I haven't had any luck for two reasons. One of them is just money, the other is because nobody will take her. Why is this, you might ask. Because rabbits are considered "exotic" pets. I could easily point out a rabbit across the street because of how common they are in my city and explain to a vet that hey, the thing in the cage is exactly the same as the thing we see everywhere wandering the streets. But I know the real issue. They're not trained to take care of most animals that aren't livestock, like cows and pigs, or animals that aren't dogs or cats.

I'm just wondering why they aren't actually trained to take care of common "exotic" pets. I'm not the only person who has a pet rabbit. Tons of people have pet rabbits. It's not like this is some trend catching on, people have kept rabbits for a really long time.

It's just so annoying that I'm having problems getting a surgery for my baby over something that vets should really be learning by now.

I'm sorry for the rant and all, but I'm having problems sleeping because the little fuzzball hasn't given up on the idea that a mate is going to magically appear in her cage. You can only sleep so well when all you hear is nest making. And if anyone else has a bun and could give me tips on looking for a vet, I'd appreciate it so much.

I love the little shit to death, but I dread mating season.

I'm having a really rough time right now and there's a lot on my mind making it worse. I'm starting to wonder why I don't just find the nearest bridge.

It's like all my life, I've never been anything more than a momentary lapse in judgement.

I'm in a really dark place right now. I need help.

I called into my job and told them I'm ready to work as soon as they can schedule me back in. I really hope I wasn't too late, they didn't pick up the phone at all yesterday and we usually get the schedules between Wednesday and Saturday at 12:00 am. Hey, at least I'm not fired for being sick like my friends said I might be.

In art news, I've started and stopped a lot of projects because I'm not happy with them. I do really want to post my Amber redesign with her natural fur colours. I've also had the idea of a shapeshifting character sitting in my head that isn't the one I use for a story I'm working on.

I've been under a huge amount of stress so I haven't been playing much, but my steam account is now listed on my page. I'm also considering putting my friend code out there for my 3ds. I miss playing games with people and while I've re-installed League, I don't see myself playing it a huge amount either.

I'm sorry for the super personal stuff lately and I'm really sorry it took so long to get back to people's comments. Seeing my friend lead to some things being decided, but my life at the moment is still nowhere near balanced. I'm not looking forward to telling my boss I need to be transferred. Some places refuse to transfer you to another store in the same chain if that store isn't owned by the same person. I've already faced that when I had to leave Tim Hortons at 19.

https://twitter.com/Snowbbi_

I've been trying to find more reason to use this thing and there's times it might be easier for me to talk to people there.

Sorry I haven't posted recently, I was at a friend's trying to figure my life out. I still have very little of an idea of what I'm going to do. I'm pretty drunk at the moment so I don't think responding to comments at the moment is a good idea. But I'm going to get to people tomorrow.

My life is really difficult right now and I just hope at the very least that I can get myself transferred to another store once shit starts hitting the fan. Otherwise I'm all sorts of fucked.

I have decided one thing though. Once everything is taken care of and I don't have any of my belongings here, I'm not going to talk to anyone I'm related to. Long story short, I've already cut contact with one side of the family. I don't get along with this side much anyway, so I'm going to cut them off too. I ran away once and I can do it again.

My dream is to move down east and meet a nice girl and settle down. I always kinda knew I was going to be without a family one day. I don't feel guilty for it. I've spent my life among abusers and enablers. I'm doing what I have to in order to give the future a chance to be good.

Or as I always used to say, "the 'smart' thing to do isn't always the 'right' thing to do."

Well, I bought an adopt. After all the bad news today. It just kept piling on me and I had several mental breakdowns today. This is my last personal purchase for a very long time. Which is fine, I haven't gotten myself anything in a long time. (Other than a commission I haven't gotten yet from a month and a half ago).

I'm going into work tomorrow after my friend picks me up and I'm going to tell them I'm ready to work. I'm still sick but I can't lose any more money. With how my paychecks are, I'll be lucky to get anything out of this upcoming one. I'm going to start saving like crazy for a down payment just in case my friend gets a job. He's offered me a place to stay if it doesn't, but it's really not ideal since his family is really large.

I'm going to take some time off from here, I'll be around to talk to people and fave stuff and all that jazz. But the art is going to be slow, if not stop for a couple days. I need to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life.

Welp, looks like I'm not joining a dating site anytime soon. The whole "freaking out over everything" shtick isn't very attractive. But hey, neither am I!

I have 2 months before I'm kicked out. I'm desperately trying to rely on one of my two local friends to get a job so I can move out with him. There's no way I can possibly survive on minimum wage, not even if I stretch it as far as it'll go. I hate having no power at all. I believe in the guy and all, but there's nothing I can do. I was raised to only trust myself and never rely on others. It's conflicting with how I really want to trust that my friend can get a job.

Even if that all works out, life isn't going to be a cakewalk either. I have a ton of expenses in the background because I'm very sickly and I also need to change my name and search for a specialist doctor to help me get a very specific thing I need.

I hate airing out my dirty laundry to total strangers, but I've already had one mental breakdown today and it's only a matter of time before my DPD stops taking effect. Everything has just gone downhill since someone I loved told me she didn't love me anymore and left me for someone she's known for less than a year. My life is a trainwreck and I'm just waiting for the sharks to come up and eat me. It doesn't help that I've missed nearly 2 months of work because sickness after sickness comes to knock me down.

I have no family on which to ask for help. I'm alone.

I'd open up a patreon or a gofundme but there's nothing I can offer anyone back.

I'm sorry if I don't post for a couple days. I'm on the brink of falling apart. I'm so fucked.

I basically just want to say that I'm going to start faving some NSFW stuff unlike my last account. It just felt awkward considering that's a name a lot of people would know me by and if they somehow stumbled here, they'd find me relatively easily. My friends often mock me for this, but I'm very shy about sexuality and stuff, so I really hope y'all won't judge me. My fetishes and stuff are really tame, but it's still super embarrassing. Consider this me coming out of my shell a bit.

I'd also like to get back to writing. I spent a lot of my life wanting to get into animation, but when I stopped drawing I began writing instead and my new current goal is to become a better writer and eventually get something published. I won't bore you guys with the details, but I have an entire trilogy spanning a thousand years that I'd love to finally put out there. Once my life settles, I'd love to start writing that. But for here, I'd like to just write short stories or things about my characters.

Either way, I'd love to be more active here once my life gets back to normal. Being as sick as I am has left me falling asleep really early and being too tired to do anything but watch documentaries. Netflix is a gift from the heavens.

I'm also working on a picture, I really didn't like how my last one turned out so I've started one partially inspired by my depression.

Jeez, this turned out a lot bigger than I wanted it to be. I just wanted to leave off saying "thank you" to two people, firstly  LeaLong for offering to talk to me, I'll send you a note as soon as I can, and  Moets for the lovely picture of Amber. Communication with other people has been a very rare thing for me over the past couple weeks so you guys have no idea how much it means to me that I have someone willing to talk to me and someone who drew me a picture. Thank you, seriously.

For now, I'm off to sleep. 5pm is so early but I really can't stay awake any longer xD (The zombie documentary I watched today is sure to give me nightmares. Oops.)

-Snow

Whether or not you're a new watcher or old, or are just coming to thank me for watching you, welcome to the new account of  essiy

I explain in a journal over there why I moved and I really hope most, if not all my old watchers come here. I'd really love to see your lovely faces here too.

I'm sorry for the confusion and if this is annoying to you...

Side note, it's a real pain in the ass to re-watch over 300 accounts. But if I do re-watch you, it means I adore your art And I can't wait to see more