I been healing well, improving significantly to the point I can type away and take notes without too much discomfort. Going through my notes and chats with friends for inspiration on future works, there's a very small handful of furs that have been a constant source of inspiration.

For over a decade that pool has grown by a single one but down by several either falling out of touch or early death. Eventually I try to get back in touch with those I feel out of regularity and at worst we may catch up a bit and learn the spark of interest is no longer there.

As far as old friendships go, the second longest friend I had in this community is Alexxi. I remember chatting with him as far back as when I debut as a snuff artist back when VCL was the go-to place for furry art (and Furnation for those that could make their own sites). He's commissioned me many times and too often his patience has surpassed expectation, waiting out of drawing blocks and work spikes, always happy to see me regardless of making progress on a commission or not. We RP'd a lot back when that was a thing of mine and when I fell out of it, he politely tried to get me back into it as it was a big thing for him. On the not so polite side, he hated my current and previous sonas, refuses to acknowledge me by anything but my original sona he's known me for the longest (kind of don't blame him as I still privately draw myself that way).

Always supportive and a shoulder to lean on, about half the time I drew something for him I didn't bother to collect payment, or declined it because we're friends. Back in March of this year he made a request through Discord, more specific than his usual requests that leave a lot of it to me. You'd think it'll be easier for me to whip up having so much more details on the scene, but the challenge was beyond my skills but I tried several times, not happy at all with my progress.

On March 27 I sent him a small update, expressing my struggle with drawing the species he requested. Telling him I'll walk away for a bit and try again was nothing new, most often a tactic that works out great when trying something too challenging.

Work got out of hand around that time and wasn't till June 27 that I touched base again, letting him know about work and that it's coming to an end so I'll have time to draw. He didn't reply and I figured he's both giving me the space to draw and preoccupied with his life as I remember earlier in the year he moved to a new city and had to get used to it and get things in order with his family and such.

August 12 I apologized, giving up on the piece as I've made almost no progress, but this wouldn't be the first time it'll happen. Previous times just meant he'll message me when he reads it, tells me its ok, we chat about stuff and he throws a different idea, something I'm more familiar with and get that drawn relatively quickly.

Well, through an artist I watch through my, let's call it "clean" account I learned Alexxi died about 7 months ago. I been staring at my Discord window for the last hour looking over the messages. It wasn't long after our last chat that he left and after my message sent on August I was very angry at myself. I thought he grew annoyed of me always delaying things and updating him months apart with no progress. I kept thinking about him since, especially on my birthday back in November, he would have at least sent me a message then, but he didn't. I figured, once I'm healed here I'll try again to draw his piece and if I can't pull it off still, I'll recruit one of my artist friends to help me with it and present Alexxi with a bitchin double teamed fully colored piece. If not for Christmas, it would have been a great gift to start 2021, just post the image on Discord and wait for him to see it and post a bunch or random letters as he bashes his keyboard in excitement.

So much for that. So much for looking up some awesome and funny art for an easy evening. I wish I've known sooner, though not like that would have made a difference in any way. You'd think I'd handle death better but pairing it with friends in the fandom, it just somehow breaks me. First handful made sense, much older furs, not terribly close to them, sucks but that's part of life. Then closer friends began passing away unexpectedly and well, I dunno. Something about each death just hit me in the chest hard. Maybe because we talked regularly, I dunno. I just hate how frequent it feels, not enough time passes while trying to grieve for a friend then I learn I lost another. I'm sure realistically it's not like that, but that's the way it feels to me and it's just so stressful.

Ideally I should have deleted this before posting. My MO would have me chat with someone about my stress or even better, something different to help me forget about things. Well now that the absolutely most level headed fur I've known is gone, I don't know who to talk to. Yes there's some great furs that I can chat with but the way I'm feeling because of this news to me, this is something that he and one other fur would be best to talk to but both are gone so maybe they can see this journal and shake their heads at how stupid I sound.

No plans to make art anytime soon. No plans for anything anytime soon.

Had carpal tunnel surgery one one hand a while back, then on the other as I recovered from the first. Second one I had some complications and recovery has not been going so great, not healing nearly as fast as it should. Crossing my fingers I can start drawing again before the end of the year, but I wouldn't bet on it.

I'm still available to chat on Telegram and Discord, just PM me.

Hope you all been staying safe and making the best out of this crazy year!

-Snuff

Got artblocked something fierce and it still persists. Work isn't helping, taking up about 60 hours a week, so I'm in a constant state of feeling mentally drained. I been planning to mirror my gallery elsewhere and I figured the best option I got for that is Inkbunny. I'll post here once the migration is done and upload simultaneously to both.

Gonna keep trying to doodle when I have the time to break this curse. I got lots of great ideas from friends and my backlog of projects, but I just can't get shit on paper. While I appreciate all of you, I really wanna keep pumping out works more frequently. Maybe that's why I got blocked, trying too hard. We'll see how it goes. Stay safe and I'll catch you all later, here and on Inkbunny.

I got a couple pics I should have posted by now but been feeling pretty lousy lately. Not sick with anything, just feeling lousy where I just can't feel inspired to write up the descriptions or draw new stuff. Not feeling it and not sure why since everything is going as usual with no bad news or excessive stress at work.

Hopefully I can snap out of it soon as I had a nice burst of inspiration and was doodling a bit then suddenly, blah.

Anyways, stay safe friends

Hope you're all doing well. Finally recovered but fuck that was an ordeal. Gonna hunker down and try to improve my anatomy skills.

Been thinking of using reference models for poses but no idea where to even start as far as an easy to use 3d model program and basic models (mostly after the pose itself and proportioning). Any advice and assistance will be greatly appreciated (and compensated with art if proportionate to the help).

Can't stress this enough: BE SAFE OUT THERE!

-Snuff

Very sick, will likely be offline for a few weeks. Stay safe friends.

I was gonna do a journal about what ya'll thought about my digital inking and flat coloring but the response is pretty clear that its preferred to my pencil works. Downside is that it is more time consuming as I am a hell of a lot slower at whipping out stuff fully digital. I'm sure eventually it'll start to feel more natural and be easier to draw. Perhaps I'll eventually invest in one of them much fancier tablets, but we'll see. I need to improve my anatomy so I can get out of my comfort zone and improve in quality.

Expect slower uploads, but I promise I'll try to be more frequent with material.

Also, no more commissions. Being fair and letting people determine what to pay and do so after I finished worked fairly well with 1 or 2 flakes here and there taking me for a ride. That's been picking up to the point that its not worth the effort. Oh well on that, but hey, I got enough half done commissions I can digitally alter and finish, so art block should be the least of my worries for some time.

PS: Trying to be more active on Discord and Telegram. I don't RP but always up for chatting up bout anything and everything....cept politics. I don't know or care about politics.

Stay safe friends!

I get my flu shot every year for the last...hmm.... 20 years at least?

I skipped this year because I figured since I haven't caught the flu in 2 decades, I won't be... WRONG! SOOO WRONG!

Don't be an idiot like me and if you're already getting your flu shot annually, don't stop. The flu sucks and if you don't have a strong immune system, it can be pretty damn dangerous. Stay safe my peoples and I'll catch you later!

Log in, reply to PMs and such, move on

come back hour later, new UI and fucking hell. I hate it and of course, here comes the monetization.... sooo where's everyone heading once the site goes to shit with ads overload if you're not paying for a premium account?

October is my most busy month of the year for work. It was made clear to those that chatted with me on Discord and Telegram but I completely spaced out putting out a journal on here to let everyone else know. Silly me right? Well, the good part is that I'm done working for the year (prolly through February) so I'll have a lot more time to get more art done and improve my craft.

Anyone I previously agreed to do a commission for will be taken care of ASAP and I appreciate your patience. I'm pretty eager to get drawing again so here's to (hopefully) more frequent postings!

Just throwing this out there to get a feel for what makes everyone will like to see from me as far as themes go.

Anyways, throw me what themes you wanna see more from me. Those closet watchers are always welcomed to PM me. Perhaps it'll give me some inspiration to try something different and/or expand the variety of pieces offered in my gallery.

Also, I enabled shinies because why not. If you use it tho, send me a PM and I'll sketch something for ya. You can also just reach out to me if you want something specific drawn. I price pieces very fairly unless I improve significantly. Then I'll prolly do the same because I draw for fun and any money raised through it will just be put away for one of them fancy digital drawing tablet thingies.

I got some pics in the works I'm struggling with. My usual MO is to pretty much say fuck it and wrap it up, which explains why my quality has only marginally improved over time. Making some time to do anatomy activities, let's see if I can get a little more serious with my craft. That, and cut down on the damn gaming, its been eating up WAAAY too much of my free time

Bought Monster Hunter World (for PC) and next thing I know its been about a week and I'm not slowing down, lol

At one point back in the day, someone created/helped me come up with a personal logo. I , for the life of me, can't remember who it was but upon seeing it from an old pic someone shared with me, I got it back and you bet your ass I'm using it. Hate that I forgot about it, but glad I got it again and would love to give proper credit where its due, even though its been a few years.

I'm going to apologize early for the poor quality of my upcoming posts. The scanner I'm using is a quick buy from a thrift shop so it's both old and of low quality. I don't want to invest in a better one as I am interested in getting one of those digital screen drawing tablet thingies so I won't have to deal with paper. Also should make it easy to ink and maybe color my works, but they are a bit pricey so until I get one, I'll keep scanning and posting my sketches.

Worth noting, if you know someone looking to get rid of one of those things for a reasonable price, please let me know. I keep checking places online but for what people usually sell their used ones, I rather spare a couple extra 20's and get me a brand new one.

Thanks for your time, hope you enjoy my twisted works :)