Getting with the times...
Posted 3 months agoSo as you may be aware, not that anyone's reading this shit, or cares in the slightest about what I have to say... FA had updated their site to include additional features in their modern site theme/layout, and effectively killed their classic site structure entirely. Naturally, I was really upset that this became so, because I'm one of the very few people who don't like change... Now, I get it, progress needs to be made, and the older theme is just collateral damage and is otherwise completely negligible what happens to it... On top of that, I hold absolutely zero significance... I don't matter in any aspect... not just as an individual, but in the grand scheme of things... even if there was even 50/50 debate on whether to let the classic theme receive updates, I don't matter which side I lean on, the side I'm NOT on always wins... Which of course comes back to me not mattering as an individual, especially given my shitty reputation... I don't just mean on here, or on Reddit, or just one specific place, I mean EVERYWHERE! Not just on the internet, but behind the scenes as well... which REALLY doesn't surprise me, especially with how the world has been since I was born... or at the least for the better part of a decade... or whatever... putting it simply; my voice doesn't matter when it comes down to voting on anything, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm just one single nothing anyway, I've always amounted to nothing, and I don't see that changing...
Lemme play Devil's Advocate again for a bit, progress needs to be made, sure, and the streamlining of things can be a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, and with the new theme and all that, it's likely been constructed to make adding features easier anyway, rather than having to rebuild the classic theme from scratch, like all good things, it must come to an end at some point... Nothing lasts forever, and I understand that...
So what's my answer to all this as of writing this? Well... I've gotten with the times... I've forced myself into changing the site theme to the more modern one... I'm forcing myself into change... so... there's that...
I suppose I better shut up now...
Oh, and by the way, don't bother leaving a comment whining about what I said, you won't get very far...
Alright, I'm going now...
Lemme play Devil's Advocate again for a bit, progress needs to be made, sure, and the streamlining of things can be a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, and with the new theme and all that, it's likely been constructed to make adding features easier anyway, rather than having to rebuild the classic theme from scratch, like all good things, it must come to an end at some point... Nothing lasts forever, and I understand that...
So what's my answer to all this as of writing this? Well... I've gotten with the times... I've forced myself into changing the site theme to the more modern one... I'm forcing myself into change... so... there's that...
I suppose I better shut up now...
Oh, and by the way, don't bother leaving a comment whining about what I said, you won't get very far...
Alright, I'm going now...
Here’s to another year of bullshit…
Posted a year agoYou get the fucking idea, and I don’t care, don’t bother leaving any comments on this journal…
My life story...
Posted 3 years ago...I will *NOT* tell my life story...
Never...
Never...
Things just got a whole lot crazier....
Posted 4 years agoSo basically FA's bot said "Hey, so your friends, despite not having any, are allegedly 'concerned', we did some not-so-thorough digging and saw a concerning journal that SOMEHOW concerns us more than the one made prior to that so we took it down, but you're not in trouble, oh! And because FA is *COMPLETELY* oblivious to the harsh reality of American greed, we suggest, much like the other twats in your life, to go get professional help! Oh joyous day those mother fuckers who put you into crippling debt even though they make enough money off your tax money that's being wasted elsewhere! But at the same time, because the message is automated, we're kinda having it both ways by both understanding what your issues are while at the same time dismissing them!"
I'm sorry, but it's kind of become a trend to make it a lose-lose situation, or a double-edged sword... I'd better appreciate if you didn't call ANYONE on this rotten platform my "friend", besides, I doubt even the OWNER is even willing to be my "friend"! Frankly, I'd rather think he's much happier with his mate than he would be some maniacal freak like me! Even then, that doesn't make everything okay! I appreciate your ALLEGED concern, but I'm not sure if it really exists... But I digress, but even if it exists, is it genuine? Or are the admins just no fucks given hit the button that does the shit? It's also a major trend for people to be in the mindset of "survival of the fittest", like..... *ich*... And of course, the obligatory crisis line wiki page type bullshit because it becomes your fault if you don't mention them blah blah blah... Fun fact, that link is actually at the bottom if anyone whose reading this is having troubles and are a bit braver and more resilient than me....
To sum up what that journal was, basically... it's person post art of sex, get unwatched, jealously level go sky high, suspicion of them knowing it hurts... that's kinda what it basically is.... Of course... I could give a fuck less what anyone else thinks... it's my life, I end it how I please.... Of course, no rant of mine if it didn't include wording that goes something like this: I like how they acknowledge my problems and understand what exactly it is, including the symptoms and everything, and then proceed to DISMISS my situation at the same time! Great work, guys! Jolly good platform we're working around with! Maybe you should also have the decency to allow us to change our fucking usernames while you're at it! But that's a completely different ball game... In the meantime, methinks that the level of any actual caring is pretty much down to zero, and has been for a while... So sarcasm and bashing at FA aside, had that wonderful note come in, which I've had to change the wording ENTIRELY, because copying them is a no-no, at least word for word, which is great because I love making these kinds of fucking jokes, *AND* it allows me to demonstrate the kind of brainpower that's going through peoples' minds nowadays...
And no....
I have no friends.... thanks for not checking or giving a shit...
With that said.... if you're in a similar boat as me, but are a bit braver and stronger than me... give this link a good ole click, yeah?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_.....e_crisis_lines
I'm sorry, but it's kind of become a trend to make it a lose-lose situation, or a double-edged sword... I'd better appreciate if you didn't call ANYONE on this rotten platform my "friend", besides, I doubt even the OWNER is even willing to be my "friend"! Frankly, I'd rather think he's much happier with his mate than he would be some maniacal freak like me! Even then, that doesn't make everything okay! I appreciate your ALLEGED concern, but I'm not sure if it really exists... But I digress, but even if it exists, is it genuine? Or are the admins just no fucks given hit the button that does the shit? It's also a major trend for people to be in the mindset of "survival of the fittest", like..... *ich*... And of course, the obligatory crisis line wiki page type bullshit because it becomes your fault if you don't mention them blah blah blah... Fun fact, that link is actually at the bottom if anyone whose reading this is having troubles and are a bit braver and more resilient than me....
To sum up what that journal was, basically... it's person post art of sex, get unwatched, jealously level go sky high, suspicion of them knowing it hurts... that's kinda what it basically is.... Of course... I could give a fuck less what anyone else thinks... it's my life, I end it how I please.... Of course, no rant of mine if it didn't include wording that goes something like this: I like how they acknowledge my problems and understand what exactly it is, including the symptoms and everything, and then proceed to DISMISS my situation at the same time! Great work, guys! Jolly good platform we're working around with! Maybe you should also have the decency to allow us to change our fucking usernames while you're at it! But that's a completely different ball game... In the meantime, methinks that the level of any actual caring is pretty much down to zero, and has been for a while... So sarcasm and bashing at FA aside, had that wonderful note come in, which I've had to change the wording ENTIRELY, because copying them is a no-no, at least word for word, which is great because I love making these kinds of fucking jokes, *AND* it allows me to demonstrate the kind of brainpower that's going through peoples' minds nowadays...
And no....
I have no friends.... thanks for not checking or giving a shit...
With that said.... if you're in a similar boat as me, but are a bit braver and stronger than me... give this link a good ole click, yeah?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_.....e_crisis_lines
Insanity consumes me....
Posted 4 years agoI think you can already guess where this is going.... if not.... stick around for the ride.... or don't... I don't care.... it's all the same to me anyway....
I'm driven insane by the events that have happened in my life.... People continuously destroying me in whatever manner possible.... primarily by abandonment, neglect, ignorance, and abuse.... just to mention a few.... people act in these toxic manners and make excuse, even make bogus claims like I'm demanding them to do anything or whatever you can think of.... and yet they have the audacity to do so, let alone to claim themselves as my "friends"...? People are happy without me, getting mates, getting full fledged families, yes, I'm being narcissistic about this, but this does still bother me, and I'll explain why right now; I'm no less a living and breathing being like yourself, and the rest of your wretched race, yeah, I'm talking about all you "humans" behind your screens! I'm no less a "human" like yourself, so I deserve to be treated as such! If you think you're all entitled to what you want, then that makes ME entitled, too! If moral failings disqualifies me of what I'm "entitled" to, then NOBODY gets to be entitled, simple as that! But back to the matter I was discussing prior to this short rant; Everyone's getting mated and loved and is happy without me, and that bothers me! It makes me feel left out, and that's not okay! This should give you an idea on how bad this is, if people won't RESPECT me, THEN THEY SHOULD FEAR ME!!!
Maybe I deserve to be happy every now and then! Maybe I should be allowed to be petted like a good boy every once in a while! Maybe I wanna get hugs and kisses every so often! Maybe I should have the ability to have mates and support from friends! Maybe I deserve some special "rewards" for doing certain things (You know who you are! Yeah, I'm looking at YOU! Maybe not looking, but more rather GLARING at you!)! Maybe, JUST MAYBE, I wanna be spoiled rotten for once, see and learn what it's like! This maybe a foreign concept to you retarded fuck shits, and you know who you are, but I actually had it ROUGH growing up! You may not understand, because you actually had it pretty nice! You had proper parents who loved you and cared for you the way you needed them, so you don't know what it's like for your needs to develop into something much deeper! You don't know what it's like to crave a DEEP kind of love!
For the rest of you damned asswipes out there who don't understand the level of bullshit the US has in store, healthcare ain't free! Nor is therapy! And to give you an idea on how BAD it can be, my dental appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled, if I went by myself and if my parents didn't cover my ass with the healthcare THEY hold, would have costed me... wait for it.... FOUR THOUSAND US DOLLARS!!! Yeah, I ain't making that up! FOUR! THOUSAND! That would GUARANTEED put me in crippling debt! So imagine what a therapy session would cost me! I'll give you a hint, it's in the same range! So not only would therapy be too expensive, but I've taken some time to learn more about myself, and have come to the conclusion that I don't need it! There's nothing I can do on my own without having had proper time to recover with friends!
Which sadly means I have to make a new family, but oh! That would be just too easy for me, wouldn't it? You all just HAVE to push me away, believe LIES, attack me, abandon me, neglect me, and treat me in as inhumane a manner as possible! But when I defend my good name from the likes of YOU fools, that's just me being a monster, innit? Me being a monster is me gaining VOID MAGIC AND THEN KILLING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND MAKING THE WORLD BURN IN THE PURPLE GLOW OF ALL THE VOID FIRES THAT WOULD MEAN THE END OF ALL OF YOU!!! THAT!!! Would be me being a monster.... That doesn't go without saying that I genuinely would take GREAT pleasure in killing some of you... And you know who you are.... if not, you BEST hope that A), you're not on my enemy list... and B), that I don't get void magic.... because when I do.... pray to whatever god you worship that you get some form of mercy from me... but alas.... I've run out....
I know what you're thinking.... What happened to me being suicidal? Oh I still am... I'm too insane to think about killing myself.... Ridding the world of the entire populace seems more appealing to the insane majority of me.... which is pretty much 100% of me... Littering every street with bodies... bones... blood.... you name it.... seems pretty nice to me right now.... of course having that in the form of vent art would be nice too... but guess what? I can't draw! I don't know anyone who likes me that would be willing to draw it! I suck at 3D rendering! So whoopdee fucking doo! Having it in practice is fine too!
I'm sick of this world... The wretched race that inhabits this place doesn't deserve the privilege of being here... The scum of all that is the life here should be reversed... and no amount of therapy will ever bring me to recover.... I have every doubt that anyone will change.... even if everyone changes for the better.... I doubt it'll work anymore.... I came into this world a welp.... I'm gonna go out either the same.... or a monster.... either by suicide.... or having been killed by someone... probably the police in that manner after I've had a small filling of blood and death.... only by sating my hunger for blood and death.... only by having rid this world of this wretched breed of toxicity.... will I come out of this... or who knows.... maybe if I'm plenty convinced... or if things do start to turn around well enough and quickly enough.... maybe my brakes can be reached.... and then I can be brought out of this insanity episode....
Bah.... Like that's ever gonna happen.... the admins are probably gonna demand I delete this journal.... which... I can promise is NOT gonna happen.... I'll probably just edit it to get them to shut up and stay a few thousand squared miles away from me... but if things turn around.... I'll delete this journal for certain... until then....
See you around...
I'm driven insane by the events that have happened in my life.... People continuously destroying me in whatever manner possible.... primarily by abandonment, neglect, ignorance, and abuse.... just to mention a few.... people act in these toxic manners and make excuse, even make bogus claims like I'm demanding them to do anything or whatever you can think of.... and yet they have the audacity to do so, let alone to claim themselves as my "friends"...? People are happy without me, getting mates, getting full fledged families, yes, I'm being narcissistic about this, but this does still bother me, and I'll explain why right now; I'm no less a living and breathing being like yourself, and the rest of your wretched race, yeah, I'm talking about all you "humans" behind your screens! I'm no less a "human" like yourself, so I deserve to be treated as such! If you think you're all entitled to what you want, then that makes ME entitled, too! If moral failings disqualifies me of what I'm "entitled" to, then NOBODY gets to be entitled, simple as that! But back to the matter I was discussing prior to this short rant; Everyone's getting mated and loved and is happy without me, and that bothers me! It makes me feel left out, and that's not okay! This should give you an idea on how bad this is, if people won't RESPECT me, THEN THEY SHOULD FEAR ME!!!
Maybe I deserve to be happy every now and then! Maybe I should be allowed to be petted like a good boy every once in a while! Maybe I wanna get hugs and kisses every so often! Maybe I should have the ability to have mates and support from friends! Maybe I deserve some special "rewards" for doing certain things (You know who you are! Yeah, I'm looking at YOU! Maybe not looking, but more rather GLARING at you!)! Maybe, JUST MAYBE, I wanna be spoiled rotten for once, see and learn what it's like! This maybe a foreign concept to you retarded fuck shits, and you know who you are, but I actually had it ROUGH growing up! You may not understand, because you actually had it pretty nice! You had proper parents who loved you and cared for you the way you needed them, so you don't know what it's like for your needs to develop into something much deeper! You don't know what it's like to crave a DEEP kind of love!
For the rest of you damned asswipes out there who don't understand the level of bullshit the US has in store, healthcare ain't free! Nor is therapy! And to give you an idea on how BAD it can be, my dental appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled, if I went by myself and if my parents didn't cover my ass with the healthcare THEY hold, would have costed me... wait for it.... FOUR THOUSAND US DOLLARS!!! Yeah, I ain't making that up! FOUR! THOUSAND! That would GUARANTEED put me in crippling debt! So imagine what a therapy session would cost me! I'll give you a hint, it's in the same range! So not only would therapy be too expensive, but I've taken some time to learn more about myself, and have come to the conclusion that I don't need it! There's nothing I can do on my own without having had proper time to recover with friends!
Which sadly means I have to make a new family, but oh! That would be just too easy for me, wouldn't it? You all just HAVE to push me away, believe LIES, attack me, abandon me, neglect me, and treat me in as inhumane a manner as possible! But when I defend my good name from the likes of YOU fools, that's just me being a monster, innit? Me being a monster is me gaining VOID MAGIC AND THEN KILLING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND MAKING THE WORLD BURN IN THE PURPLE GLOW OF ALL THE VOID FIRES THAT WOULD MEAN THE END OF ALL OF YOU!!! THAT!!! Would be me being a monster.... That doesn't go without saying that I genuinely would take GREAT pleasure in killing some of you... And you know who you are.... if not, you BEST hope that A), you're not on my enemy list... and B), that I don't get void magic.... because when I do.... pray to whatever god you worship that you get some form of mercy from me... but alas.... I've run out....
I know what you're thinking.... What happened to me being suicidal? Oh I still am... I'm too insane to think about killing myself.... Ridding the world of the entire populace seems more appealing to the insane majority of me.... which is pretty much 100% of me... Littering every street with bodies... bones... blood.... you name it.... seems pretty nice to me right now.... of course having that in the form of vent art would be nice too... but guess what? I can't draw! I don't know anyone who likes me that would be willing to draw it! I suck at 3D rendering! So whoopdee fucking doo! Having it in practice is fine too!
I'm sick of this world... The wretched race that inhabits this place doesn't deserve the privilege of being here... The scum of all that is the life here should be reversed... and no amount of therapy will ever bring me to recover.... I have every doubt that anyone will change.... even if everyone changes for the better.... I doubt it'll work anymore.... I came into this world a welp.... I'm gonna go out either the same.... or a monster.... either by suicide.... or having been killed by someone... probably the police in that manner after I've had a small filling of blood and death.... only by sating my hunger for blood and death.... only by having rid this world of this wretched breed of toxicity.... will I come out of this... or who knows.... maybe if I'm plenty convinced... or if things do start to turn around well enough and quickly enough.... maybe my brakes can be reached.... and then I can be brought out of this insanity episode....
Bah.... Like that's ever gonna happen.... the admins are probably gonna demand I delete this journal.... which... I can promise is NOT gonna happen.... I'll probably just edit it to get them to shut up and stay a few thousand squared miles away from me... but if things turn around.... I'll delete this journal for certain... until then....
See you around...
Pain...
Posted 4 years agoI honestly don't know why I'm still doing these, nobody reads these... so not like it matters...
I honestly already said everything in just the title.... Think that's good enough for a journal?
Joking aside, no, things have NOT changed or gotten better, more rather on the contrary, I've lost more people, been hurt a lot more, and to top it all off, I'm even lonelier than normal, which is becoming the new normal... Oh, did I mention I abandoned Twitter? Yeah, that's a thing, oh, and every time I'm told that someone is allegedly concerned for my well-being, I *KNOW* for a *FACT* that it's a lie, always has been, always will be. Death still seems like a pretty good option since nobody cares, not here, not on SL, NOWHERE, not even IRL, but oh well, such is life. And of course, the US Gov. isn't gonna do shit because they're too busy making money while putting the less fortunate like myself in crippling debt, instead of making counseling and healthcare *ENTIRELY* funded by the gov.... Then at least we might stand a chance.... Alas, that's the gov.'s decision.
Of course, I should probably make mention that I've been finding such posts on e621 to try to... I dunno.... feel something? Hard to describe, really... but it sure beats pawing off mindlessly to furry porn... in some minuscule manner or some shit, again, not really sure.... And to make matters worse, here's my dumbass wondering what love looks like, or what it looks like to have people comfort you, so as time goes on, I've DEFINITELY been craving the shit I've missed out on all 21 years of my life.
Yeah, you read that right.... I'm turning 21 this month, and I fucking hate it.... of all the holidays I hate, my birthday has to be the highest on the hate list.... and I hate *ALL* holidays...
Bah fuck it, I'm out of shit to say, so here....
I honestly already said everything in just the title.... Think that's good enough for a journal?
Joking aside, no, things have NOT changed or gotten better, more rather on the contrary, I've lost more people, been hurt a lot more, and to top it all off, I'm even lonelier than normal, which is becoming the new normal... Oh, did I mention I abandoned Twitter? Yeah, that's a thing, oh, and every time I'm told that someone is allegedly concerned for my well-being, I *KNOW* for a *FACT* that it's a lie, always has been, always will be. Death still seems like a pretty good option since nobody cares, not here, not on SL, NOWHERE, not even IRL, but oh well, such is life. And of course, the US Gov. isn't gonna do shit because they're too busy making money while putting the less fortunate like myself in crippling debt, instead of making counseling and healthcare *ENTIRELY* funded by the gov.... Then at least we might stand a chance.... Alas, that's the gov.'s decision.
Of course, I should probably make mention that I've been finding such posts on e621 to try to... I dunno.... feel something? Hard to describe, really... but it sure beats pawing off mindlessly to furry porn... in some minuscule manner or some shit, again, not really sure.... And to make matters worse, here's my dumbass wondering what love looks like, or what it looks like to have people comfort you, so as time goes on, I've DEFINITELY been craving the shit I've missed out on all 21 years of my life.
Yeah, you read that right.... I'm turning 21 this month, and I fucking hate it.... of all the holidays I hate, my birthday has to be the highest on the hate list.... and I hate *ALL* holidays...
Bah fuck it, I'm out of shit to say, so here....
Valve is censoring the truth and I'm mad as Hell!
Posted 4 years agoSo it's no surprise that there's an issue with our society, but it's getting ridiculous! Steam is now censoring the truth off of their profile! They're locking threads and banning people off of forums for speaking the truth and for pointing out when a topic was already covered. I've fallen victim to something like this myself on quite a few occasions! It just goes to show the kind of brainpower that goes on in peoples' heads. It's amazing to me how people are able to graduate school and get jobs, but when it comes to reading posts where something is already pointed out, they suddenly can't understand even the basic points of the English language, and they get all whiney and turn out to be spoiled rotten little brats and think they know everything when I point out that a subject was already covered! Realize, if people knew HALF the things they think they do, they wouldn't be playing video games, they wouldn't have time to! They'd be too busy making money or finding the cure for cancer, or this virus! It's just absolutely hilarious that people don't use their heads as much as they should be! The problem with society is that people just HAVE to be right all the time! They don't realize that the world doesn't revolve around them! They're just constantly living in Lala Land, where they're the center of the universe! Valve knows this, but they're not gonna do anything because they just don't care! They're not even TRYING to moderate the amount of bullying and BS that's going on around there, they're just catering to the entitled little brats on there! One of these days, people are gonna go "Hey, Steam is a really bad platform, maybe we should take our social gathering and gaming business to someone else", and believe me! Valve is gonna start wondering where they went wrong!
One day their business is gonna go down very fast, and they're not gonna have enough money to keep Steam open, one of these days they're gonna have to shut down! Hoo boy, would that be interesting! Now, of course realize that they're a huge company when it comes to providing these games, so when they go down, so are their games! So really what needs to happen is they need to get their heads screwed on right and start eliminating the bullies and help out the victims of such nonsense! But for those who are suffering to be wrongly punished, is absolute garbage! Who knows, maybe people will take games off of Steam and make a better platform, maybe one day there's gonna be a company starting up to compete with Valve! Maybe they might be a lot better! Heck, maybe Valve might get bought out by a company who knows what they're doing!
One day their business is gonna go down very fast, and they're not gonna have enough money to keep Steam open, one of these days they're gonna have to shut down! Hoo boy, would that be interesting! Now, of course realize that they're a huge company when it comes to providing these games, so when they go down, so are their games! So really what needs to happen is they need to get their heads screwed on right and start eliminating the bullies and help out the victims of such nonsense! But for those who are suffering to be wrongly punished, is absolute garbage! Who knows, maybe people will take games off of Steam and make a better platform, maybe one day there's gonna be a company starting up to compete with Valve! Maybe they might be a lot better! Heck, maybe Valve might get bought out by a company who knows what they're doing!
I'm not returning.....
Posted 5 years agoBand-aids don't fix bullet holes.... (VENT)
Posted 6 years ago... or broken hearts....
Things have been on a steady trail downhill.... I've been living in self-hatred for my whole life, wondering when I'll ever be loved ever again.... or if I will ever be recognized by anybody.... as someone worthy of love.... Because of everything that has happened to me.... I feel like the world should burn.... Either that.... or I shouldn't be alive right now.... I feel like all I am is just someone to make suffer in the worst way possible while others think that I'm not effected while I am.... Some think that I'm just their sex toy to use and abuse.... Or some may just lie to me and think it's okay or what have you.... Or maybe some just spread corruption and toxicity and lies about me.... so forth..... But..... I need to know.....
What am I to you....?
Things have been on a steady trail downhill.... I've been living in self-hatred for my whole life, wondering when I'll ever be loved ever again.... or if I will ever be recognized by anybody.... as someone worthy of love.... Because of everything that has happened to me.... I feel like the world should burn.... Either that.... or I shouldn't be alive right now.... I feel like all I am is just someone to make suffer in the worst way possible while others think that I'm not effected while I am.... Some think that I'm just their sex toy to use and abuse.... Or some may just lie to me and think it's okay or what have you.... Or maybe some just spread corruption and toxicity and lies about me.... so forth..... But..... I need to know.....
What am I to you....?
Looking to commission....
Posted 6 years ago... a piece of vent art.... I wanna see if maybe procuring vent art can help me cope with what's been going on with me.. I know it sounds barbaric, but it's worth a shot! Hit me up if you'd like the details or if you know of anyone who'd be willing to help
I knew coming back was a bad idea.....
Posted 6 years agoThe corruption while I was gone has only spread further..... I should not have come back...... Nobody loves me...... I can't keep this up..... nobody listens to me or cares about me.... I should not be here...... the pain will only increase and get worse......
As much as I'd like to ask the admins to mark me as "Deceased".... I don't think it'll happen..... considering how much I hover around here..... Either way...... I made a mistake coming back.....
As much as I'd like to ask the admins to mark me as "Deceased".... I don't think it'll happen..... considering how much I hover around here..... Either way...... I made a mistake coming back.....
I need to leave.....
Posted 6 years agoI need to leave.....
This is no place for a fragile soul like myself.....
This is no place for a fragile soul like myself.....
I think I should leave....
Posted 6 years agoI’ve overstayed my Welcome, especially here on FA... I’ve nowhere else to retreat to... except the void of depression I’ve been forced into.... I’m not safe anywhere.... not on SL, not irl.... nowhere.... I think it’s time I threw in the towel and quit.... I’m probably going to leave the furry community.... I’ll still be a furry, don’t get me wrong, but nobody seems to care about me.... so I feel that I’m not welcome here anymore....
I’ll probably make up my mind when my birthday rolls in.... what do you guys think? Oh wait.... nobody’s gonna read this....
I’ll probably make up my mind when my birthday rolls in.... what do you guys think? Oh wait.... nobody’s gonna read this....
How to ruin someone's life
Posted 6 years agoJust come have me talk to them, their life will be in pieces in mere SECONDS! :D Come hire me to ruin peoples' lives today :D
EDIT: Jesus fuck..... I don't even understand how I do it.... but I do..... >_< I wish things wouldn't be like this....
EDIT: Jesus fuck..... I don't even understand how I do it.... but I do..... >_< I wish things wouldn't be like this....
No more RP
Posted 6 years agoI'm done, when I want to RP, people aren't in the mood to.... so no more
Phased out of the world....
Posted 6 years ago.... Is what I am.... I'm not Ender..... I'm not a shapeshifter.... I'm not a sergal..... I'm not a living being..... I do not exist..... I am not here.... When I talk to people.... nobody listens.... nobody bats an eye.... I simply don't exist.... Nothing of me exists....
No more....
Posted 6 years agoNo more families.... no more rp.... I’m done.... all hope is lost.... I’m abandoning ship very soon.... I’m flooded with pain and agony because of all that has happened... like someone persuading a family of mine to betray me....
My cold hard opinion on Valentine’s Day
Posted 6 years agoNo different from Christmas and New Year’s... just a load of bullshit and a waste of time and breath... Only upside is I know who never loved me from the start, aside from that, nobody really loves me, and Valentine’s Day is just a bunch of shit...
What pisses me off the most.... (UPDATE)
Posted 6 years agoHere's that update I said I'd get out, and yeah it's late, sue me!
But here's what pisses me off, it's when people don't understand the shit that poor unfortunate souls like myself have gone through and still do go through... it hurts, it also pisses me off when people are stupid enough to think that I only piggyback off my disabilities just as an excuse for shit... It really hurts when people make fun of me and my disabilities, but that's the world I've had to grow up and live in. It also pisses me off that I try to get myself involved in shit, and then they cast me away, like if I were in a family, I'd be cast away by them, it hurts a lot....
Okay, I'm outta here for a moment... hope someone actually reads these shits...
~Ender
But here's what pisses me off, it's when people don't understand the shit that poor unfortunate souls like myself have gone through and still do go through... it hurts, it also pisses me off when people are stupid enough to think that I only piggyback off my disabilities just as an excuse for shit... It really hurts when people make fun of me and my disabilities, but that's the world I've had to grow up and live in. It also pisses me off that I try to get myself involved in shit, and then they cast me away, like if I were in a family, I'd be cast away by them, it hurts a lot....
Okay, I'm outta here for a moment... hope someone actually reads these shits...
~Ender
No trust.... no love..... no life....
Posted 7 years agoLife is hitting a constant downfall... less and less people open up to a poor lowlife like myself... some people find a lowlife like myself looking for love, or someone to look up to as a family.... “creepy”... some people refuse to open their eyes to see the truth about multiple depression disorders mixed with anxiety disorders, mixed with autism and ADHD... people believe that emotions can be controlled... people refuse to see the truth about it; EMOTIONS AND DISORDERS CANNOT BE CONTROLLED! With that said... life.... withers away as we speak... the reasons to live in such a cruel and unforgiving world diminish... this poor sergal is forced to trust fewer people everyday.... I am getting less love everyday... my life withers away quicker everyday... I have seen the truth... about numerous people who I have looked up to not only as a friend, but as families... Mothers... fathers... they betrayed me... even the people in between... even regular friends, acquaintances... all of them.... I can’t wait for my end to come, but I am in no hurry to die... I hope this message gets out and spreads the truth; NOT EVERYBODY WILL GIVE GENUINE LOVE... not everyone cares... love those who don’t love themselves, help the disordered... the RIGHT way... care for those who feel nobody does... be a good person.... improve someone’s day.... spare a life...
Serene ref journal
Posted 8 years agoName: Serene Shadowborne
Species: MIDI Bat (courtesy of Corentin de Syzygie on YouTube, if you don't know what a MIDI bat is, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zd31DShnfk watch this vid)
Gender: Female
Orientation: Straight
Description: *DOWNLOADING AND WRITING DATA*
Species: MIDI Bat (courtesy of Corentin de Syzygie on YouTube, if you don't know what a MIDI bat is, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zd31DShnfk watch this vid)
Gender: Female
Orientation: Straight
Description: *DOWNLOADING AND WRITING DATA*
Felicity Reference Journal (First dream inspired OC)
Posted 8 years agoName: Felicity Shadowborne
Gender: Female
Species: Hyena (Unique breed)
Anthro: Yes, capable of morphing to feral
Height: 5'9
Weight: Approx. 92.4 lbs.
Eye color: Dark Red
Fur color: Maroon red
Fur Thickness: 2 inches
Relationship: Mated and married to Ender Shadowborne
Orientation: Straight
Origins: "It appears to be a dream come true, she looks EXACTLY like the hyena that was guardng the abandoned palace in my dream!"
~Ender Shadowborne
Description:A very unique hyena of a sorts. When in Feral form, she appears to be bigger than regular hyenas, when in anthro form, her breasts are of a very large size, and her ass seems to be of a very satisfying size, as well! She is relatively shy around new people, but have been able to gain her trust relatively easily, not sure how.
Incident report: We had interviewed Ender after he had the dream, here is the report in as much detail as needed:
??/??/????
After saying his good nights to the spirit of the girl he dreams of being with, he went ahead and let his mind wander off, here is the interview with Ender; "I had suddenly spawned in a random location, even I don't know, my sense of location goes to shit most of the time when my mind wanders, half the time, I can't fuckin' WALK!!! So anyway, I encounter two figures who look about the same, probably an obscure reference to a meme, and I have a good idea as to what it is! Anyway, they had asked for me to find a place for them to camp for a few, and when I do, I had noticed that there was a palace not too far that seemed abandoned, no security, nobody around, no signs of life, until I made my way closer, it seemed that back in the day, they relied on hyenas to guard the place, but this one seemed to have been left for dead... The poor girl! She seemed to be aggressive at first, but then, I guess I lucked out, she had explained her situation to me, and I accepted her into my family."
~Ender Shadowborne
Features: The end of her tail "Flares up", or changes color to a fiery orange and this typically means that she has turned hostile, like when she was a guard, her tail flares up to scare away intruders, but in Ender's case, he had stated that her tail flaring up was beautiful, so in Ender's case, her tail flaring up is used for seduction.
Likes: Cooked meat, being cared for, respect, knowing her "master" (no, she is not in one of those Dom/Sub relationshipsA little bit, get your head out of the gutter!) is happy and well, the things Ender likes, and, of course, sex!
Dislikes: Entities who get too touchy too quickly, robbers, rotten meat, being neglected/unwanted/unloved, knowing her "master" is in a bad mood or is not at optimum health (sick/ill in any way/shape/form), entities who make fools of themselves, and those who hate Ender!
Gender: Female
Species: Hyena (Unique breed)
Anthro: Yes, capable of morphing to feral
Height: 5'9
Weight: Approx. 92.4 lbs.
Eye color: Dark Red
Fur color: Maroon red
Fur Thickness: 2 inches
Relationship: Mated and married to Ender Shadowborne
Orientation: Straight
Origins: "It appears to be a dream come true, she looks EXACTLY like the hyena that was guardng the abandoned palace in my dream!"
~Ender Shadowborne
Description:A very unique hyena of a sorts. When in Feral form, she appears to be bigger than regular hyenas, when in anthro form, her breasts are of a very large size, and her ass seems to be of a very satisfying size, as well! She is relatively shy around new people, but have been able to gain her trust relatively easily, not sure how.
Incident report: We had interviewed Ender after he had the dream, here is the report in as much detail as needed:
??/??/????
After saying his good nights to the spirit of the girl he dreams of being with, he went ahead and let his mind wander off, here is the interview with Ender; "I had suddenly spawned in a random location, even I don't know, my sense of location goes to shit most of the time when my mind wanders, half the time, I can't fuckin' WALK!!! So anyway, I encounter two figures who look about the same, probably an obscure reference to a meme, and I have a good idea as to what it is! Anyway, they had asked for me to find a place for them to camp for a few, and when I do, I had noticed that there was a palace not too far that seemed abandoned, no security, nobody around, no signs of life, until I made my way closer, it seemed that back in the day, they relied on hyenas to guard the place, but this one seemed to have been left for dead... The poor girl! She seemed to be aggressive at first, but then, I guess I lucked out, she had explained her situation to me, and I accepted her into my family."
~Ender Shadowborne
Features: The end of her tail "Flares up", or changes color to a fiery orange and this typically means that she has turned hostile, like when she was a guard, her tail flares up to scare away intruders, but in Ender's case, he had stated that her tail flaring up was beautiful, so in Ender's case, her tail flaring up is used for seduction.
Likes: Cooked meat, being cared for, respect, knowing her "master" (no, she is not in one of those Dom/Sub relationships
Dislikes: Entities who get too touchy too quickly, robbers, rotten meat, being neglected/unwanted/unloved, knowing her "master" is in a bad mood or is not at optimum health (sick/ill in any way/shape/form), entities who make fools of themselves, and those who hate Ender!
Dream inspired OC's?
Posted 8 years agoHave any of you (if anybody reads this) ever had a dream with a furry character that you suddenly enjoy and decided to make him/her an OC of yours?
I'm kinda curious, please share your experiences, I'd like to know!
I'm kinda curious, please share your experiences, I'd like to know!
Endra reference journal
Posted 9 years agoName: Endra Shadowborne (The "A" in the name makes the "uh" sound)
Gender: Female
Species: Ender Dragon (Teaser)
Anthro: Yes (another teaser)
Height: Selectable- 2 meters or 3 meters, has the ability to choose
Weight: ~200lbs, 500 with bits
Eye color: Dark purple
Relationship: Married and mated
Orientation: Bi, only cares for her son, Ender
Description: Anthro Ender Dragon gal, 'nuff said!
Likes: See Luna's reference journal http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7530805/
Dislikes: See Luna's reference journal: Link provided above! ^
Gender: Female
Species: Ender Dragon (Teaser)
Anthro: Yes (another teaser)
Height: Selectable- 2 meters or 3 meters, has the ability to choose
Weight: ~200lbs, 500 with bits
Eye color: Dark purple
Relationship: Married and mated
Orientation: Bi, only cares for her son, Ender
Description: Anthro Ender Dragon gal, 'nuff said!
Likes: See Luna's reference journal http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7530805/
Dislikes: See Luna's reference journal: Link provided above! ^
Firah reference journal
Posted 9 years agoName: Firah Shadowborne (the "I" In the name makes the "ee" sound)
Gender: Female
Anthro: Sometimes, spends most of her time as such
Species: SCP-860-2 (Haven't the foggiest)
Eye color: Gold
Relationship: Mated and married
Orientation: Bisexual
Height: 2 meters
Weight: Under 90 lbs. (Then add the bits while anthro, and... yeah)
Description: Sorry, the SCP Foundation had us remove it, but let us keep a small amount of info and her backstory, the info we got to keep is that she is basically known as SCP-860-2. She is no longer located in SCP-860-1. That's all the info we got to keep, again, we also got to keep her backstory, thanks, SCP Foundation!
Backstory: After the time of Document IV, [REDACTED] had requested to come into Site [REDACTED] and volunteered to explore SCP-860-1, the individual claimed to be searching for "his lost love", Document V was never put on the SCP database, but we managed to convince the SCP personnel to let us have a copy to display here.
Document V
Realized on XX/XX/XXXX
[NAME REDACTED] (who will be referred to as Subject-II) is a [REDACTED]-year old American male sergal who volunteered to explore SCP-860-1. He is equipped with an LED flashlight, a GoPro (upon his request, it actually worked WAY better than the last camera we used), which is equipped with transmission stream, and a headset for communication, which is equipped with a better microphone, with Dr. [NAME REDACTED] in control.
Subject-II inserts SCP-860 into the door he was instructed to find, he turns the key, and the door swings open. After taking two steps, a loud bang is heard, Subject-II quickly turns around and back.
Subject-II: Good lordy, that was loud! Heh.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Heh, Yep! New mic works! Now please continue down the path.
Subject-II: Yay new mic then, continuing! How's the new camera working?
Subject-II continues as he speaks
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Camera works wonderfully! 60 frames per second, wonderful audio, we're glad you volunteered! But we're not sure what you meant by "lost love".
Subject-II: Yep! Nuttin' beats dat 60FPS in 4K! Not even 60 frames in 1080P! OH!!! Giggity! (x4)
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Please stay focused!
Subject-II: Right.
At this time, Subject-II has already traveled about 20 meters from the entrance, after an additional 20 meters, a T-intersection is visible
Subject-II: (evidently a quote from a game) *in "The Stanly Parable"'s narrator's voice* "Markiplier came through a set of two doors, he entered the one, on his left"
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You sure?
Subject-II: No, I actually have no clue!
A loud roar is heard in the distance
Subject-II: "That's not good sounds, that's very BAD sounds!"
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: I actually heard it, turn around.
Subject-II turns around
Subject-II: "Oh I see you over there! I see you! I see you... you're in the woods just waiting for me to come over there!"
At this point, Dr. [NAME REDACTED] is thinking
Subject-II turns around for a few seconds
Subject-II: "I probably shouldn't just be standing around here and..."
Subject-II turns back around, SCP-860-2 is closer, but barely visible
Subject-II: "Oh-ey it's coming towards me, oh, I did not realize it was-a spotting me!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Go right!
Subject-II is now facing the opposite direction his original assumption was going to take him
Subject-II: "OH, into the forest of death! Exactly where I wanted to be. Greeeeeaaaaaaat!"
Subject-II goes that direction, about another 60 meters later, a split pathway is encountered, one of which has cobblestone.
Subject-II: Um... Doc? A little help?
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Take the dirt path!
Subject-II takes the dirt path, he encounters a dead end 10 meters later
Subject-II: Wha???
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Oops! Wrong path!
Subject-II: Thanks, Doc! I'm gonna die, wait... I need to panic first, I gotta get all my panicking outta my system, I'M GONNA DIE!!! OOH!!! OOOHHHH, THE FAMILY!!! AAUUGGHH EVERYONE THAT I KNOW AND LOVE THINKS I'M DEAD!!! AAAAGGHHH I'M GONNA BE STUCK HERE FOREVER!!! WHERE'S WILFRED?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now that I got that outta my system I should be able to *sudden sharp inhale* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE!!!! I'M GONNA DU-okay. I think I got it all, I think got it all out... Okay, now I can calmy and rationally try to approach this! AAAHHH-no, I'm good, I'm all set!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You sure it's all out?
Subject-II hears a sweet, silky voice, easily registered as female.
Unknown voice: In which way are you going to die? A brutal one, or are you going to die from love?
Subject-II: [REDACTED]? I know that voice from anywhere!!! I gotta go!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You know that voice? Wait! Subject...
Subject-II places his headset in front of the camera, the conversation is barely audiable, but is still heard
Subject-II: I-is that you, [NAME REDACTED]?
Subject-II is evidently speaking with SCP-860-2
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: What? SCP-860-2 has a name??? Impossible!
SCP Personell have realized that SCP-860-2 is female
SCP-860-2: Yes, it's me! My love! You've come to rescue me!
Subject-II: Yeah, but, since it's been so long since I've seen you, when I was lamer and...
SCP-860-2: ...Since you were a baby...
Subject-II: ...A LAME baby, I wanna be able to know what it's like to experience your love, now that I'm here.
Subject-II and SCP-860-2 begin to make sexual contact and actions, the camera is facing away from them, toward the dead end.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Someone bring him back!!!
Personnel try to open the door, as well as break it down, but all attempts fail. After a few hours, the batteries in the camera die, the headset is currently using its batteries as backup, the sounds of the two have stopped.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: He's been in there for a few hours, I wonder how long he'll be in there for.
10 days have passed since the headset batteries die. Both Subject-II and SCP-860-2 have exited.
After some talking, Subject-II was granted the ownership of SCP-860 and SCP-860-2, don't update the records!
End
//
Quite the scenario if you ask us, We are allowed to put up any info we can put up, so we may as well spill the beans! She's got huge jugs and a mean ass. As far as those events goes, she's evidently related to Ender in some given way, true sister? Mother? Not sure, we're not allowed to give out that info yet.
Info created and updated by: Dr. G. Cooper
Gender: Female
Anthro: Sometimes, spends most of her time as such
Species: SCP-860-2 (Haven't the foggiest)
Eye color: Gold
Relationship: Mated and married
Orientation: Bisexual
Height: 2 meters
Weight: Under 90 lbs. (Then add the bits while anthro, and... yeah)
Description: Sorry, the SCP Foundation had us remove it, but let us keep a small amount of info and her backstory, the info we got to keep is that she is basically known as SCP-860-2. She is no longer located in SCP-860-1. That's all the info we got to keep, again, we also got to keep her backstory, thanks, SCP Foundation!
Backstory: After the time of Document IV, [REDACTED] had requested to come into Site [REDACTED] and volunteered to explore SCP-860-1, the individual claimed to be searching for "his lost love", Document V was never put on the SCP database, but we managed to convince the SCP personnel to let us have a copy to display here.
Document V
Realized on XX/XX/XXXX
[NAME REDACTED] (who will be referred to as Subject-II) is a [REDACTED]-year old American male sergal who volunteered to explore SCP-860-1. He is equipped with an LED flashlight, a GoPro (upon his request, it actually worked WAY better than the last camera we used), which is equipped with transmission stream, and a headset for communication, which is equipped with a better microphone, with Dr. [NAME REDACTED] in control.
Subject-II inserts SCP-860 into the door he was instructed to find, he turns the key, and the door swings open. After taking two steps, a loud bang is heard, Subject-II quickly turns around and back.
Subject-II: Good lordy, that was loud! Heh.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Heh, Yep! New mic works! Now please continue down the path.
Subject-II: Yay new mic then, continuing! How's the new camera working?
Subject-II continues as he speaks
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Camera works wonderfully! 60 frames per second, wonderful audio, we're glad you volunteered! But we're not sure what you meant by "lost love".
Subject-II: Yep! Nuttin' beats dat 60FPS in 4K! Not even 60 frames in 1080P! OH!!! Giggity! (x4)
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Please stay focused!
Subject-II: Right.
At this time, Subject-II has already traveled about 20 meters from the entrance, after an additional 20 meters, a T-intersection is visible
Subject-II: (evidently a quote from a game) *in "The Stanly Parable"'s narrator's voice* "Markiplier came through a set of two doors, he entered the one, on his left"
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You sure?
Subject-II: No, I actually have no clue!
A loud roar is heard in the distance
Subject-II: "That's not good sounds, that's very BAD sounds!"
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: I actually heard it, turn around.
Subject-II turns around
Subject-II: "Oh I see you over there! I see you! I see you... you're in the woods just waiting for me to come over there!"
At this point, Dr. [NAME REDACTED] is thinking
Subject-II turns around for a few seconds
Subject-II: "I probably shouldn't just be standing around here and..."
Subject-II turns back around, SCP-860-2 is closer, but barely visible
Subject-II: "Oh-ey it's coming towards me, oh, I did not realize it was-a spotting me!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Go right!
Subject-II is now facing the opposite direction his original assumption was going to take him
Subject-II: "OH, into the forest of death! Exactly where I wanted to be. Greeeeeaaaaaaat!"
Subject-II goes that direction, about another 60 meters later, a split pathway is encountered, one of which has cobblestone.
Subject-II: Um... Doc? A little help?
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Take the dirt path!
Subject-II takes the dirt path, he encounters a dead end 10 meters later
Subject-II: Wha???
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Oops! Wrong path!
Subject-II: Thanks, Doc! I'm gonna die, wait... I need to panic first, I gotta get all my panicking outta my system, I'M GONNA DIE!!! OOH!!! OOOHHHH, THE FAMILY!!! AAUUGGHH EVERYONE THAT I KNOW AND LOVE THINKS I'M DEAD!!! AAAAGGHHH I'M GONNA BE STUCK HERE FOREVER!!! WHERE'S WILFRED?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now that I got that outta my system I should be able to *sudden sharp inhale* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!!! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE!!!! I'M GONNA DU-okay. I think I got it all, I think got it all out... Okay, now I can calmy and rationally try to approach this! AAAHHH-no, I'm good, I'm all set!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You sure it's all out?
Subject-II hears a sweet, silky voice, easily registered as female.
Unknown voice: In which way are you going to die? A brutal one, or are you going to die from love?
Subject-II: [REDACTED]? I know that voice from anywhere!!! I gotta go!
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: You know that voice? Wait! Subject...
Subject-II places his headset in front of the camera, the conversation is barely audiable, but is still heard
Subject-II: I-is that you, [NAME REDACTED]?
Subject-II is evidently speaking with SCP-860-2
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: What? SCP-860-2 has a name??? Impossible!
SCP Personell have realized that SCP-860-2 is female
SCP-860-2: Yes, it's me! My love! You've come to rescue me!
Subject-II: Yeah, but, since it's been so long since I've seen you, when I was lamer and...
SCP-860-2: ...Since you were a baby...
Subject-II: ...A LAME baby, I wanna be able to know what it's like to experience your love, now that I'm here.
Subject-II and SCP-860-2 begin to make sexual contact and actions, the camera is facing away from them, toward the dead end.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: Someone bring him back!!!
Personnel try to open the door, as well as break it down, but all attempts fail. After a few hours, the batteries in the camera die, the headset is currently using its batteries as backup, the sounds of the two have stopped.
Dr. [NAME REDACTED]: He's been in there for a few hours, I wonder how long he'll be in there for.
10 days have passed since the headset batteries die. Both Subject-II and SCP-860-2 have exited.
After some talking, Subject-II was granted the ownership of SCP-860 and SCP-860-2, don't update the records!
End
//
Quite the scenario if you ask us, We are allowed to put up any info we can put up, so we may as well spill the beans! She's got huge jugs and a mean ass. As far as those events goes, she's evidently related to Ender in some given way, true sister? Mother? Not sure, we're not allowed to give out that info yet.
Info created and updated by: Dr. G. Cooper