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Really, REALLY NEED HELP
Posted a year agoI started not the easiest period in my life. My girlfriend's father died unexpectedly, at a fairly young age and with a terrible amount of debt. This has hit her very hard in so many ways and I truly feel for her and try to help her as best I can.
We are about to move. But at the moment I live in an apartment alone and have to endure life and everyday life alone. Due to forced leave, I will only be paid half of my salary. I also really, really need a psychotherapist, because due to my apathy I can neither sleep and eat, and I also need money for him. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it except try to make money in alternative ways...
I can't take commissions now because I have too much debt. But now I persistently make new adopters, since they take up less time and effort from me. I can also take inexpensive custom ones - things of this format come to me faster. I ask for your help, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a financial investment, dissemination of information, or just a fav on my sales. Please help me get through this month, I can handle the rest... Probably?
There are also problems with the Boosty payment service. It currently does not accept PayPal payments or only accepts them from random people. The creators explain this for technical reasons, some argue that this is due to recent technical work at PayPal. One way or another, payment on Boosty is only possible through cards, but not every card can go through. One way or another, I’m trying other platforms: now I’m trying to get verified on EasyStart, and at the moment, from the current one, I have a Hippolink account, which was also made by the creators of Boosty. Instructions on how it works can be read here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55641058/. Don't worry, the service has already been tested by many artists and is absolutely safe. Don't worry, in case of problems you can also send me money through my intermediary PayPal.
I hope this dark streak of life will end soon. One way or another, as long as I have someone to fight for, I will try to fight. But I'm tired a lot...
Thank you for staying with me. You're waiting. Be patient...
I love you.
Thanks for all.SOME NEWS AND EXPLANATIONS
Posted 2 years ago
Sorry for falling off the radar again! But, as you can see, I'm here again to report on why I've been gone for so long and my future plans.
And so, it all started when I lost my job in February last year. I think you remember this episode. For six months I couldn’t find a job in my specialty and even got a temporary job working in the bar of a restaurant with not the best conditions and reputation. Shifts of 14 hours took a lot of my energy, which is why I couldn’t draw at all. After a month of work, I was paid approximately 100$. After that I didn’t appear there again.
I tried to earn money by drawing, but after a long absence from the platform, all activity disappeared. The updated reminder policy also did not help in obtaining money. To be honest, the YCHes and commissions sold did not pay for my efforts, since my mental state was very unstable. I didn’t have my own money, my girlfriend and my mother helped me, but even this was not enough for a normal existence. For six months I lived in constant tension and nothing worked out.
I had to get a job in a store. The salary is around 300$ and this is basically enough to survive. 12-hour shifts still exhaust me so much that I barely have enough strength to realize myself and draw commissions. In addition, the conditions in this store are not the best, because for a low salary they require me to be a cashier, a consultant, a security guard, and a cleaner.
Besides that, my headmistress is clearly not a very mentally healthy person who refuses to admit it. She doesn’t appreciate my constant free help at all, but she scolds me for the slightest fail. She makes up things she didn't say and denies what she did, accusing me of gaslighting. In the future, she is going to force me to pay for the stolen goods alone, since I am the only one at the checkout, and the others are simply not allowed in for her. Supposedly this is my area of responsibility. There is too much responsibility and it does not pay for my efforts, but at the moment I simply have no choice. I have nowhere else to go.
However, in January next year I will return to rehabilitation for therapy, and in February I will return to Belarus to change my passport and withdraw money from my bank account. After this, I plan to change my place of work to a more presentable one, having a safety net. Next year I will try hard to get rid of debts, moreover, I will redraw all the art that I owe, since my skill has changed extremely during this time, and I have begun to draw much better.
I am planning to create a to-do list and ask for your help: all those to whom I owe art, please write to me in messages with the subject "to-do", to whom I owe what YCH-es. I will also think about bonuses for waiting. I will try to remember everyone myself, but this will help you a lot, since I cannot vouch for my memory.
I also got an account on Blue Sky https://bsky.app/profile/gabitodmateur.bsky.social. It's empty for now, but I'll be releasing updates in the future! You can also write to me about invite codes and I will answer as soon as I have one available!
Thank you very much for listening to me. Sorry for everything that happened. I know that I made a lot of promises, but sometimes circumstances turn out to be stronger. Despite everything, I love you all and sincerely want to please you in the future.TW: life story, whining, s**cidal thoughts
Posted 2 years agoTo be honest, now I'm not having the best period in my life. For half a year now, drawing has not brought me any money, although earlier they often took adopts from me at good prices. Even my regular customers left me, and those who write clarifications also come and then evaporate, leaving behind a broken hope. After I was fired from my last job, I could not find a new one: the IT market in Russia and Belarus is in complete ass. I have one month left to find a job, otherwise I will have to return to my parents. To my parents, with whom I sob at night, hate myself and constantly think about death.
I have not brought money into the house for about half a year now. I live on a penny that my parents are able to send me. But not only that, but the fact that my "family" is threatening to take me away from my real family is scary: the person I love more than my own life and my cat children. Literally the few for whom I still breathe.
And to be honest... I'm disappointed in myself as an artist. I hoped that my work could feed me, but now I see a huge number of useless adopts in my album, in which I put my whole soul. And YCHes, for which I diligently look for references, in the hope that someone will like it. When a good job loomed on the horizon (which, by the way, they didn’t take me for, due to the fact that I didn’t speak confidently enough), I even seriously thought about paying off my debts and giving up drawing forever. The process brings me pleasure, but the result often makes me hate myself. I am dependent on feedback, including financial support, but I have too little to feed my self-confidence. I just don't know what to do next, because I see that no one needs me. I'm even more than sure that many of you will ignore this journal even at the feed stage.
And I'll just scream into empty space. But maybe it's even for the best?
I'm scared.
I'm tired.
I hate myself.
But I just want to feel happy again.
I have not brought money into the house for about half a year now. I live on a penny that my parents are able to send me. But not only that, but the fact that my "family" is threatening to take me away from my real family is scary: the person I love more than my own life and my cat children. Literally the few for whom I still breathe.
And to be honest... I'm disappointed in myself as an artist. I hoped that my work could feed me, but now I see a huge number of useless adopts in my album, in which I put my whole soul. And YCHes, for which I diligently look for references, in the hope that someone will like it. When a good job loomed on the horizon (which, by the way, they didn’t take me for, due to the fact that I didn’t speak confidently enough), I even seriously thought about paying off my debts and giving up drawing forever. The process brings me pleasure, but the result often makes me hate myself. I am dependent on feedback, including financial support, but I have too little to feed my self-confidence. I just don't know what to do next, because I see that no one needs me. I'm even more than sure that many of you will ignore this journal even at the feed stage.
And I'll just scream into empty space. But maybe it's even for the best?
I'm scared.
I'm tired.
I hate myself.
But I just want to feel happy again.
Art Giveaway by BunBun-Art
Posted 2 years ago✨ ABOUT COMMISSIONS AND ADOPTS ✨
Posted 2 years ago────────────────[color=#D19CCE]─[/color]── •✧★✧• ────────[color=#BD92C6]─[/color]────────
Hello! Glad to see you again and I want to thank you for staying with me! I am very happy with every manifestation of attention to my work, my ideas and their implementation. I also want to say that I want to make drawing my main source of income, so I will try my best to improve my skills! It's not easy, but I wanna try. You also can help me with a boosty donation, buying adopts or with commission order.
COMMISSION PRICE LIST
In addition, I promise to hand over all debts to customers before the beginning of the summer. You didn't think I forgot about you, did you? Sorry for all the delays, it was a very difficult period in my life...
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Also, please, check adopt auctions here:
POKEFUSION MEOWSCARADA + LOPUNNY (ANY GENDER)
PANDA(FEMALE/TRANS(MALE))
BLUE VALENTINE PONY PEGASUS (ANY GENDER)
PEACH VALENTINE PONY PEGASUS (ANY GENDER)
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I was fired
Posted 3 years ago»»———————— ★ ————————««
I didn't really want to share my problems here, but a few things happened that I feel compelled to share.
First, I want to apologize to those to whom I am delaying YCHes. I did not calculate my strength and did not think about the circumstances that could interfere with me. For this, I want to apologize to you and assure you that in the near future I will draw everything I can, because I will have more time. And this brings me to the second problem.
I was fired from my job, which was my main source of income. This work literally fed me, while my artistic activity was more of a hobby and additional income, so unstable that I never hoped for it. Now I have no more money to live on, and in the current conditions, I have absolutely no idea what I will eat and how I will pay rent.
I don't want to beg for pity or come up with inspirational words. I do not know how much the circumstances of my dismissal depended on me, but I recognize that I contributed to this. But until I find a new place for myself, I need to do something with my life...
I will open commissions soon. I have an approximate price in my head, so while it is not there, you can ask me personally about it. I need time to design everything.
If you just want to support me morally, you can send me to boosty https://boosty.to/soomermun as much as you can. 1 dollar, 3, 5... Nevermind. I will be glad for every penny.
Thank you for staying with me.
Your Gabit.
»»———————— ★ ————————««How you can support me
Posted 3 years agoHello, it's me again!
Not so long ago, I wrote in a journal about my anxieties related to the current situation in the world and my involvement in it. At that time, I was very emotionally depressed, because I knew that life would continue to change for the worse for my other good friends and relatives, whose whole life is tied to freelancing. However, many Russian artists have discovered the existence of such a service as Boosty. This is something like an analogue of Patreon, Ko-fi and BuyMeaCoffee for Russian authors. For many Russian freelancers, this is the last hope to create and get paid for their work. Unfortunately, I'm not an artist, but I also provide some services for overseas users, so I created my own Boosty to keep in touch with you. Not that I have a lot of exclusive content, but I can share what I can with you, and you can support me through this platforms:
https://boosty.to/soomermun
https://hipolink.me/gabitodmateur
Also provide some useful links from other artists using this platform:
Instruction V1
Instruction V2
Instruction V3
Video Instructions
Also, if you follow me, make your nicknames look like those on FA so that I can recognize you.
I also want to say a personal thank you to my little sunshine 
Vodonos.
Thank you for the hope in these difficult times, because if you weren't there at the moments of my tantrums, I would not know how to move on.
I also want to say thank you to all those who commented on my previous journal. I didn't answer you in the comments due to lack of mental energy, but the fact that you don't tie me to a situation that I hate with every fiber of my soul already makes it easier for me. Thank you for being with me no matter what. I love you all
VodonosI'm sorry...
Posted 3 years agoFor a few weeks I thought I could do what I love, but now I don't know what to do.
Partly it's me, partly the situation in the world. I have and had friends in Ukraine whom I have always appreciated and loved. My father was from Ukraine, and his parents lived, died and were buried there, in Kherson. Once I was there, saw the local nature, spoke with people. I was then 6-9 years old, and now I'm 22. I made a lot of online acquaintances. I got a job. Ambition. Things that are dear to me and that I love. Now I feel like I'm dying inside. I, like many people in Russia, cannot just close my eyes and ignore the problem. I worry. I'm in pain. I'm crying.
I understand that the risks of being on the other side at any moment cannot be compared with what I have now. I have a job and some money. Enough to pay for the rent of the apartment and something to eat. Personality disorder is not a fatal vice, although I have already stopped believing in the effectiveness of drugs and that my constant tantrums will one day disappear. But now I won’t have extra money to support other artists, to donate both to games and to organizations to help people, to small joys of life like a gift to the person I love. Food will soon rise in price, the necessary medicines may disappear from the shelves, and then... who knows what the house in which I live will turn into. PayPal is closed, and from other payment systems I can no longer transfer to cards, because MasterCard & Visa systems refuse to work in Russia. I don't know if there will be alternatives. But, it turns out, now I can’t sell adopts? The little thing that helped me take my mind off self-destructive reflection? What should I do with what I have? Ask for this money to take me a commission from some artist? This is strange. Ask to donate to help Ukraine? Paypal does not work in Ukraine. Give away for free? This is some kind of effort that I put in, because I draw certain parts of the references myself, and not just using the base. Again, these problems seem petty in the background of what is happening, and I do not deny it, but... what should I do next? I'm already on the edge, damn it. I cry and despair because I don’t know what will happen “tomorrow”, my friends and good acquaintances may not wake up tomorrow, and my mental state will soon be kept literally on one person. And... I really don't know how to live.
You say, "You chose it yourself." But when I could "choose" I was not in this country, and even if I was, I would not choose. "Your goverment - your problems," - maybe so. “This should motivate you to go out to rallies and defend your right to freedom and the right of your friends to live,” - this may motivate someone, but I feel that I am close to giving up and isolating myself from all people in order to delay approaching the point of no return, when I finally cease to be sure that this world needs me and can live happily. For two years I struggled to be close to my loved one, abandoned the blissful eternal sleep and found something to which my soul lies. And all for what? In order for one dictator to turn into ruins not only the buildings in Ukraine, but also other people's lives?
I do not know what to do. I’ll probably accept payment for the remaining adopts in the form of Steam gift cards to please myself with at least pixels, models, animations and program code, because I’m running out of ideas on how to get out with payment systems.
Maybe the fact that I live in Russia makes you angry or hate me, but to be honest, I'm already too desperate. You have the right to be angry with me or hate me, and I will accept it even if it hurts me.
I just want world peace and no mental health issues. Wake up and don't worry about anyone. Don't be ashamed of the people around. Not feel ashamed of myself when I try to distract yourself from despair for a second while someone you know might be under fire. But also to have this opportunity to be distracted so as not to go crazy with anxiety.
Soon I will have no nerves to be nervous about...