Just a small update, I am getting ready to open back up to commissions...

Finally over my illness, but have some problems with my hands that will affect my draw speed, but, need to make some money doing commissions...

I'll post a submission soon, hopefully within a day or two...

Six months after losing my official job, and still no new leads nor interviews that end successfully on jobs I've been applying to, I may need to try to force myself to return to doing commissions, although with some stipulations...

- I'm still not at my usual drawing speed and motivation, partly due to my hand still not at 100% after years of work abuse, and I'm still having depressive episodes that kill my will to do anything...so I can't do same day/overnight turnaround on most drawings like I used to...it'll likely take a week or two to belt something out...and I'll probably avoid comic and very large sequence commissions...

- I'm unsure yet how much I should charge per image...could use some opinions on what people feel like some of my drawings would be worth...I'd like to have a solid base line, and want to say I'd charge minimum $15-20 per hour spent on an image, but that's for when I can fully dedicate myself to an image...

- I can't see myself getting enough income this way to make it work like an actual job would, but depending on how well it does go, I might try to invest in doing art streams again and make it as close to a job as possible, until I can find proper employment once more...(if I can...)

Just to mention it, this isn't an official 'open for commissions' journal, just getting opinions and if anyone wants to be first in line for them if I do open...

I hope everyone had a nice and Merry Christmas and happy holidays, and safely made it to 2025...~

As some small updates on my end...

- The cruise I ended up on was...okay...? It was a bit overwhelming with how many people were on board, and getting on and off the docks at our stops, especially embarking and disembarking at the start, caused a lot of anxiety with how many people and how crowded it was...at least in real life...if things were slightly more like my online 'sona, it would've been a grand buffet, over 8,000 people trapped with me on a ship...X3~ But all that aside, it was still a nice time when I was relaxed in the room or eating at the 'free' buffets scattered around the ship...

- Christmas was okay too...mostly just sat around or helped family with wrapping and clean up...got a few little dragon plushies which was unexpected but welcome...~

- And I had the review of my ultrasounds and tests from the kidney stone disaster...I'm healthy and kidney-stone free, but still got high BP...probably something I'll have to eventually take medicine for, but I'm just glad I'm not in excruciating pain...>w<;;

- I'm re-training my hand to draw again, and doing light physical therapy, to try to un-do three long years of nonstop heavy labour at my job...I'll try to post some new things, some old things, and open up to commissions soon...Not sure how I'll go about with pricing, but probably will need to set a higher bar, since I won't be able to speed-paint like I used to, and only focus on one image a day at max...

Here's to a nice and very vore-filled 2025...~

Feeling mostly better by now, thankfully...all the bed rest has certainly helped, although still had a lot of stress trying to get back into being social and catching up with friends...

As an aside; Family heard about my loss of job and surgery, and did an impromptu planning of a week long cruise and have me visiting them for a while for Christmas, which...well, I'm not sure why they did, considering my family didn't like me much last time we spoke...but here we are I suppose...they had already paid for it, and me not going would further damage that bridge, so I suppose I'm going on a week long cruise...

After I get back, sometime after Christmas/hopefully around the year's end, I'm gonna try to begin posting regularly once more...While seeing if I can build back some stamina in terms of drawing, and open back up to commissions, to keep things stable until I can find another job...

I've had a few friends ask if I need money, and while I appreciate everyone who's been supporting me as much as they have, I'm not in any financial danger, and I'd prefer earning any money people wanna send my way...I always feel guilty when I get money out of nowhere and unsure how to properly thank people who do...

So for 2025, assuming I have as much trouble finding a new job as the time before this latest one, I'll try to open up for ~$20 single images, quick sketches with color for now, until I feel comfortable enough drawing larger projects like comics and sequences...

And for those who have been sending me Discord messages and trying to get a hold of me, I apologize if I've been slow to respond or having a hard time keeping up conversation...still trying to get out of this anxiety...

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and hopefully I'll be able to post lots of cute vorish things come 2025...~

Another semi long update journal, but this one hits a bit hard...

Also, as fair warning, some parts in this journal will get a bit uncomfortable and real-life body part talk...

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First things first...as much as I tried to keep my job, be a respectable member to society, work and earn my keep, and managed to keep my job for almost three years...it came to an end, the day after my birthday last month...(October 10)

October 11...I had a mental breakdown...had to work a half double on my birthday, no one cared, I was beyond exhausted, my request for time off denied, and management had been pressuring me to either step up my slow work pace or face termination...and living in an 'at will' employment state, where you can be fired for any given reason...I don't know what really made me do it, but I just could not go on any more...so, they brought me into the HR office, and grabbed the resignation papers for me, and I signed...

The very next day...wake up to a very sharp pain in the right of my back...vomiting, unbearable pain...had to drive myself to ER, and after about three hours of waiting to be seen and dry heaving due to pain and already losing whatever was in my stomach, they hook me up to IV and get me into ultrasound...two very girthy kidney stones, one of which lodged in my kidney tube...double the size of stones deemed safe enough to force out and pass, so I had to be scheduled for an ureteroscopy...

I was extremely high on Hydroco-APAP (I think it's called), and for several days basically living on pain medicine, brain-fog, and trying to not burst from the blocking stone...

Doctor explained they would need to shove a laser tube up my urethra, drill the stone to smaller parts to help it pass, and put a stent in there to keep my tubes from swelling shut post op...

Surgery was scary as hell...but, it was a success, for the most part...(A nurse not knowing what she was doing tried to shove a catheter up in there post surgery when I had no fluid to even let out, that didn't help my post op recovery time...)

For the past month, I've been basically living on pain medicine, slowly lowering the dose and trying to cut it out altogether, and recently got the stent removed, and trying to work myself back up to strength...They said normal cases I should be back up and at it within days of stent removal, but mine was a more complicated case and they said it could be a month or two before I'm out of the woods...and due to my case and the amount of hydroco they gave me, I'm bound to have side effects of withdrawal, so my brain and body both have been feeling extremely gross from said withdrawal symptoms...

On the one hand...I'm out of a job, and don't need to worry how long the recovery will take...but also, I'm deathly afraid now that I got no employment and have both a hospital bill to chip away with a payment plan (insurance only covering the usual 80%, so it's thousands still on my terms to pay...) and the fact that I have no income because I lost my job...

I'm not in any danger financially at the moment, at least...managed to save up a little bit, but it's not enough to really live on for long...

I'm going to try to start getting back to using FA regularly now, and maybe work my arms back into drawing condition so I can hopefully try commission work again to help me during recovery and looking for my next job once I'm back to 100%...Can't say for sure when I'll be comfortable enough to start commission work again, but I'll try to at least get things set back up to post older unposted art, and try to get back into being more social...job kind of ruined me and made me a shut in and now I got crippling social anxiety...

Sorry again everyone for the huge silence and inactivity...

Situation on my end is still the same...working seven days a week, no real breathing room to do much besides work, eat, sleep, and exist in that way...

Got a few days off due to an unfortunate injury once again, so trying to catch up on things...

I hope everyone is doing well...

Just a heads up that, again, uploads will pause for a brief moment, due to a broken computer...

It's a hard disk failure, after a few days of troubleshooting, all signs point to either drive failure or an update causing it to brick itself...

Going to try to buy a new laptop or desktop some time in the coming days or weeks, depending on when I can get time off work to do so...

Nothing too major would be lost data wise...went a few months since my last backup, but since I haven't been able to draw, it's mostly just 'personally saved images' from browsing, a few videos and movies I can try to find again, and such...Although I'll need to double check my posted files since I've been uploading some older stuff...

I got a bit in my savings from this 7-Days-Weekly job, and lately had a surprise generous donation to my PayPal, so I don't need any money, just patience while I get a new rig and set things back up...

As a small recap to previous journal... https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10765257/

- Currently, I am unable to draw...due to my work schedule that involves a lot of physical labor, no new art will happen for the time being...
- I do have a backlog of images that never got posted, so for now, I will be posting those...
- Due to life being as it is, I'm in a horrible place, physically as well as mentally...I apologize to anyone who may try to reach out to me and if I seem quiet...

Not much else new or changed, other than I'm doing the best I can to survive...

Hi everyone...long time no see...

I'm sorry I have not posted anything in a long time...image, journal, or otherwise...

Part of why I haven't posted much over yet another year is mostly because...I don't have much to post...

I've not been able to draw anything ever since I got this job...

For those who don't know my current employment; I'm working as a dietary assistant/aide in a hospital...basically a fancy name for a fast food worker, of sorts, but it's a lot more involved than usual fast food joints, since it's handling food for the injured and sick...

Long story short...I'm in an unwilling but required seven day workweek shift due to staffing shortages, and despite my requests to be moved back to a more normal 5 on 2 off schedule like is supposed to be the norm, well...

Added to the stress of working every single day, most of my job is very physical and strenuous on my upper half...lots of lifting heavy food boxes, emptying extremely heavy trash bins, pushing metal food carts, insane amounts of paperwork, and other hands on tasks...my arms and wrists are not feeling well at all...I have to wear a brace during my shifts, and I have body tremors...despite it, I'm never given any time off to recover...

And it's not like I can just up and quit...It took me several years to even find this job, those who know how many times I failed job interviews...and I've barely got anything in my savings, despite the 7 days on schedule, since it is minimum wage...

Alongside it, is the heavy mental aspect of working for the sick and dying...

I'm just...I'm not okay...

I've accidentally developed a bit of introvercy, since I'm always depressed and always feel afraid to talk to anyone...Anyone out there who still wants to talk to me, I do try to check my notes, but I just feel absolutely horrible and can't bring myself to give the first hello to anyone anymore...

Still alive, at least, but I'm not able to post any cute drawings since I can't draw anymore, for the time being...Somewhat afraid I might not ever be able to draw again...


I hope everyone else is having happy holidays, merry Christmas, and a good 2024 ahead...

As my last journal is a bit out of date, here's a tiny one to update on situations...

Currently, I did manage to find a job, which began in January. It's...it's very stressful and load bearing, to say the least. It's a paycheck, minimum wage, unskilled labor, with zero benefits and very hard on my back and legs with tons of cardio and hauling things about...but it's still honest work...

As most of my time is spent at work, or laying down trying to recover from the end of work agony, I haven't managed much drawing, and have to put a pause on doing commission work until I can find another job with a lighter work load, or lose this current job from some failure I'm sure'll happen...Will try to get back into posting older unposted drawings, at least...

Still having a lot of depression, anxiety and stress as a net result, but hopefully things'll get better soon...

I've finally managed to get a job once again...although, it's...quite difficult...very long hours, very fast and very physical, and my feet and back are in constant pain...It's got me feeling a bit miserable, and I'm doing my best to get through each day, but...it's rough...

I'm gonna try to keep uploading older art I got stockpiled, but I might miss some days, since it's all I can do, to get off the clock, make it back out, and try to rest or cry out my depression...

Commissions will still be open, but if anyone wants one still, it might be delayed a fair bit until I get used to this schedule...depending on how hard this job is, might close them until I feel comfortable enough accepting them again...

I appreciate everyone who's helped me out...<3 Those who have commissioned me and sent me donations, you've helped me more than you can know...

I'll keep trying my best to make things work...

....Hi everyone...long time no see...

It's been a few years once again since I fell off of posting again, it seems...I'm sorry to all my watchers who liked my daily postings of vorish and cute shenanigans...

So, big journal, going to try to explain a lot of things, but it might be too long; didn't read. So I'll make a small summary at the bottom...

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So, I guess...first things first...things are, put bluntly, not going very well in my life...they haven't for a while now, but things have reached a point where my depression is reaching a critical state and I am constantly in panic attack, social anxiety, and having dangerous thoughts...

A lot of it, sadly, has to do with money...I haven't had a proper job in over five years now...and with as many applications as I put forth, and resumes I send in, and calls I make, I have not had much luck getting into any fields...getting calls for interviews very seldomly...failing many interviews because of my social anxiety and inability to speak clearly...and a lot of the jobs I do get offers on, are physically difficult ones I can't last for longer than a day doing...

For a while, I thought that my presence online was causing a part of it, and thought I could go offline for a while to focus on employment...but, that didn't work...and I began to fall out of touch with a lot of friends...and now my anxiety is so high that I can barely manage conversations with anyone, save a few close friends who often have to get me into talking at all...

And my living conditions, they...are not good...I live in a bad area, outside of proper internet connections, need to drive to McDonalds and other restaurants just to use WiFi, otherwise needing to use data limited pay as you go phone to get online and talk to friends when I need to...

I'm going to try to start posting older, but unposted, art again soon...and I will try to organize to set up to open commissions once more...but this time, I will likely set it to a bit of a higher price than I did in the past...Pay what you want type commissions often got me offers as low as $1 for a drawing, which felt akin to slavery in a way, and made drawing like a chore and not very fun anymore...so if I open back up to commissions, they will likely be $15 to $20 per drawing at a minimum, so I can make at least a minimum wage for the time to make the drawings...

For those who wish to support me directly, like a few friends have, I also have my PayPal still, and anything you can spare is greatly appreciated...I will try to not beg for it...but if you wish to help me without commission work, to help me through these trying times, I'd appreciate it so very much...

For friends on my Discord and those who used to talk with me a lot, I apologize for falling out of touch...I really do...my memory is failing me, and with my social anxiety and panic attacks at an all time high, I find it hard to talk to anyone anymore...but you are always welcome to drop me a Discord message or an FA note, and I will try to respond when I can...

To anyone sending me messages through any means, please remember that I'm currently in a very depressive, anxiety filled phase, and it's difficult for me to find the right words to say without bringing the conversation in a dark direction...

I have seen a doctor about my anxiety and depression, but because I only have poverty covered state insurance, I could only see a general physician, who tried to prescribe me Zoloft...and taking it for a few days, helped in no way and only make the dark thoughts worse, so I've stopped taking it, and tried to just focus on nicer activities, like older games and such...

I want to try to get to a point where I am more stable in my life...or at least able to make enough money to cover rent for a home...I don't think I'd be able to do that with commissions and donations, but right now, if I can get set up to do $20 commissions, and those who are capable could send me donations...they would be incredibly helpful...my PayPal is still at https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SpencerDragon

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As a TL;DR...

- My mind is in a bad place, and I have extreme anxiety, depression, and inability to communicate clearly...
- I wish to apologize to all my friends, those I still talk to, and those who I have fallen out of touch with...it's not you, it's my social anxiety...if you wish to try to talk with me again, I'll try my best to respond and get back in touch...
- I will try to post art again soon...and I will try to open up for commissions, and donations, so I can try to survive long enough to improve things...
- It's kind of scummy to say, but right now money, or a lack of it, is controlling my life...and if you can help with that, be it through donating, commissioning me when I open for them, sending me some kind words of encouragement, or signal boosting to others you know, it would mean the world to me...

Been a few months since I was active here... guess I outta mention why...

To most people, it's no surprise that I have a strong tendency to fall to depression...usually it has a reason, sometimes it doesn't have much reason at all...not even sure anymore what triggered it this time...

Gonna try to get back into posting art again regularly, if I can help it...

I'm also going to stop advertising commissions and art trades for the time being...if you really want one, you can ask, but with a few trades I haven't heard back from for several months, and few commissioners not ever sending me the money owed...meh...

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ct0qbw6gv.....chive.zip?dl=0

The above link contains a zip file featuring a combined total of over 1,500 images of both clean work and my NSFW work, finished pieces, works in progress, animated bits I've dabbled in, and overall a lot, a lot of noms. Some not-vore stuff here and there but mostly a lot of noms. Mostly me nomming things. But also other people nomming other people too.

The entire folder is free for anyone, but I want to make it a Pay What You Want as well. So you can download it, browse through. Like what you see? Feel free to give me a donation of your choice. Would make me a happy little hungerdragon. <3 I consulted other artists who have released art packs of their own, who usually release 12-20 pieces that remain exclusive, for roughly $10 to $20 for their packs, and they say they usually sell well, tend to get half a hundred people buying it over a month or so.

I don't expect mine to go nearly as well, since I'm making it freely available, not to mention my art isn't really spectacular...but I hope some people enjoy it enough to feel like it's worth something...

If you do like what you see, feel free to donate whatever you'd like to my paypal, SpencerDragon[at]gmail.com or https://www.paypal.me/SpencerDragon

As a forewarning, this pack contains both clean art and NSFW stuff, so if you download the pack and are only interested in the clean art, just delete the NSFW folder on download.

Let me know what you guys think, hope you all enjoy it <3

Was organizing some of my older works and folders and kind of noticed just how much I draw all over the place; have well over a thousand images still left unposted to FA, or anywhere in general. I had plans to upload them all eventually, but now I'm curious; if I were to make an art pack of them, would any one even be interested in buying it? If so, what kind of price would be ideal for it? $10 seems reasonable, a penny an image; or would Pay What You Want be more ideal?

Not even sure if I'll do the thing, since I do plan to eventually upload everything some day, but if I put in the effort to make a pack and sell it, would there be any audience for it?

Out of the hospital for the fifth time, hopefully the last. I'm physically drained and in no condition to move about much, even then would be tough to get a job with my history of it, so gonna pitch for commissions so I can keep eating healthy and living.

Edited this page finally to help with the general guidelines - http://www.furaffinity.net/commissi.....spencerdragon/

Beside a few further complications, my surgery days in this particular light should be over, finally... And I'm still alive, so that's fantastic news.

My brain is getting proper blood flow again now that my artery is not choking me from the inside, and it's all stitched up proper, but there were definitely some bumps along the way, and now there's a new problem; my liver damage.

Apparently I had been taking too many pain relievers and the medicine that was prescribed to me for pain also had a detrimental effect on my liver, so as a precaution in this manner, I've been put on 'cold turkey' for any manner of pain medicine, even those with no known side effects that can harm the liver.

This is bad because EVERYTHING HURTS. LIKE. HELL.

Every 15-30 minutes like clockwork my body suddenly spasms in a pain most intense it feels like there are knives swimming around in my body. This is not a fun feeling. I'm losing sleep over this, nausea as all get and can barely keep food down, and it's affecting my behavior and making me not quite the same mild mannered person I've always been.

I must stay off the pain pills for the entirely of the month since I was released from the hospital, and even after this probation period of no-meds, I'll only get a fraction of the stuff I was getting once before. I understand it's for the sake of my failing liver, but damn, everything hurts.

For those who keep in contact with me via mail, Discord or wherever, expect rage-fluff or clinically-depressed-fluff from time to time as I continue on my road to recovery.

Have another surgery coming up on the 2nd next month, been taken off pain meds in preparation for it, body hurts like hell...

Aside that upcoming event, I've been feeling very...insecure about my art as of late. Seeing all these people doing art vastly superior to mine, with my own uploads getting next to no attention, no commission or trade offers, I can't help but wonder if I should just...stop, give it up, and move on...

Seems I wasn't healing properly, and just got out of more surgery. Still alive but in a lot of pain...

I'm gonna try to upload stuff I've been drawing between downtimes and hospital visits, but it's not much...

[edit] - forgot to mention, probably gonna close down my Patreon, both from a tip that Patreon is gonna increase their fees and charges, but also since I only really had two patreons, with Daea being the only one who was on the commission tier, and we both agreed it would be more intuitive to just do normal commissions.

That and with me being in the hospital time and time again, may be hard to upkeep any Patreons if I were to gain more...

having said all that, I'm still open to do commissions.

Got the call to get admitted into the hospital. Sounds like I'm going to have to have some corrective surgery for a twisted/kinked artery that's causing a lot of problems, or something to that effect...

Be back soon, hopefully. :< *worried Spencer*

Update: Surgery was successful, but doctor wants to see me in a week to check up and see if any further complications can/will occur. Apparently my body is like a minefield; weak liver, high blood pressure, history of other problems. So I may be inactive/slow to do things for a while. Also prescribed some more heavy duty medicine, stuff keeps me flat on my ass all day long

Ok so, long story, will try to cut it down to an easy read...

Around a month ago, on my birthday, I got diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. Not an end-all disease, but an annoying one to be sure, with my face looking like I had a stroke and being unable to move half my face to any degree. Had to wear an eye patch for a while until I got enough control back to close my eyelid by myself. By now I've mostly recovered, but have had a very bad lingering headache. Not a typical 'oh, it hurts a bit, I'll lie down and it'll be better' type of headache. This was an all day every day, 24/7 no breaks type of headache that only was dulled by taking too much aspirin/ibuprofen, which I took them in shifts to avoid overdosing on the other. Not sure if that was secretly some sort of bad move due to medicine mismatching, but this pain was so intense, and I didn't want to overdose on one or the other.

To make matters worse, my insurance ended up being declined, and the doctor's office I did visit that told me they would waive the fee for me? Sent a bill for almost $200 just for the first visit. And I needed to see a doctor again, but if they're going to try to bleed me dry because my insurance doesn't work here? No deal.

So I made the difficult decision to double-back to my origins to use my state-wide insurance. My insurance was declined where I was living with  Twintail, so I got on the bus back to Arkansas, from Oregon. 55 hours of pure mass-transit nonsense. Almost had my PC destroyed due to poor luggage handling (thankfully I managed to fix it on arrival) and my complaint went unheard. Greyhound buses are no bueno.

I'm back here now in Arkansas, hopefully temporarily, sort of living in rough but liveable conditions. My first move was to make a doctor's appointment here and double check with them that my insurance does in fact work here still, and it does. So I got examined right away at the earliest day I could.

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It's been about a week since my first hospital visit, and over two visits, the scary thing is...they don't know what's wrong with me. Their first diagnosis is that the Bell's Palsy may have done more damage then first seems, but they can't see any damage or lumps, bumps or otherwise unusual conditions around my face that would be causing it.

What they do know so far is that, I'm not getting enough blood to my head. My body has high blood pressure due to my weight, but there is not as much going up. They suggested it may be just that, some blockage due to clots because I'm fat, but if that were the case I'd of already had a legitimate stroke, or more than just super tense headaches. They mentioned it could be a vein or artery kinking, but as things stand they can't tell without more examinations and possibly surgery.

I have been prescribed more steroids and stronger pain medicine, which has helped in a big way, but it has made me unenergetic and not able to do much besides sit about.

So that's how things are currently...Will update as things develop...

Just a heads up on the lack of updates as of late;

On my birthday about a week ago, actually a few days before, I had a very sudden sharp pain in my ears, which quickly developed into some really awkward lost of control around my left side of my face. Went to the doctor to have it looked at, turns out I have a case of Bell's Palsy. Basically facial paralysis that can last up to six months.

Along with it, I've been having some extreme headaches and a really hard time focusing due to the high amounts of pain.

I'll try to post a bit more soon, but between trying to get a job and make some money and this sudden medical condition, it's been tough finding any focus to do anything...

Birthday fluff today, yay

Made it to 32 somehow

Finally made the move, now living with  TwinTail. Getting adjusted still but soon gonna be back to posting lots of art and probably trying to make some commission sales to get some income flowing until I find a nice little job to do here.

The YCH I posted a few days ago sold out in almost 15 minutes of posting, which to me is amazing (huge thank you again to  ironmania2003 )

I can't really gauge the interest people have in it though since it ended so quickly, and I don't want to just put up more possible YCH material and look like I'm capitalizing on it. Rather I'd like to know if people would prefer me doing roughly lined YCH poses to bid on, instead of just doing my usual commissions. Still open to doing commissions of course, I just don't advertise them as much these days.

So what do you guys think?