Unfortunately, all of that stress was for mostly nothing. Most of my zoids are pulled apart and in storage and I have half a room (Only JUST got a dresser back for the very few clothes I have left). We're waiting for spring to put the house on the market. I'm both thankful and not, I just want to get it over with.

With that news and having a few months as a security blanket, comms and whatnot are back on.

Soon I'll be moving from the only home I've known, I really hate it and we have no real idea of where we're moving to but it's too late now.

Won't be able to take on COMMs until after it happens

He finally gets to come home and I'll finally get to celebrate my birthday as well as him coming home.

I'll also finally be taking comms again as long as nothing else goes wrong.

Grandpa has to go into the hospital soon to get his intestines put back with his stomach on my birthday. I also have new medication that I'm not really taking very well. Comms I was going to take I think I'll have to wait to accept when I feel better with my medication.

My life is getting better, Grandpa does NOT have cancer, thank goodness, and he's about to get his colon reattached soon. We have 3 new dogs too, they're cute.

I've been able to draw mammals, poses, and expressions successfully now so that opens some new doors for me, also finished two of my three comms, with the third almost being complete. Things are nice. Thank you everyone for wishing me well and for your concerns and support, it means a lot!

Life is finally stabilizing properly so I can start working hard on my Comms again and get them taken care of! Poor mood and being dead tired from helping so much due to grandpa's situation drained me soo much. He's healing and is able to walk around a bit now so things are much better than they were before.

I've also been struggling badly with feeling really dizzy and my eyes being unable to focus and I'm hoping it's just a dehydration thing? Trying to drink more water to see if it helps.

As I had stated in my last Journal, my grandpa was in the hospital for a huge blockage and had to have emergency surgery on the 16th. He only just got out but now has to take a LOT of physical therapy and can barely really walk down a hall without being so weak he wants to collapse. He can't really come home for a good while still but can finally eat again. After he comes home he'll need to get some stuff done to see if he also has cancer as well. This year's gonna be a rough one already.

My whole house had Covid, but LUCKILY it was the less lethal variant. I didn't get it since I stay in my room and keep myself away from my family as best I can as-is but I had to take care of them. We're doing better now at least.


Update (1/16/22): Grandpa's in the hospital again due to having a severe gastro-intestinal blockage.

Update (1/19/22): More tests have also revealed that part of his colon has died, so he might have a tumor or cancer.

Howdy guys, it's been a while! In this Journal, as the title says, I'm going to talk about Commissions and me.

As a rule, because of how I have Major Depressive Disorder, clinical anxiety, autism, and a bunch of other disorders, I do NOT accept payment for commissions under AFTER I get a sketch done and my client okays it. Period.

I am fully up for doing edits and adjustments during this phase and during early linework. If you commission me PLEASE don't be afraid to either Redline or otherwise scribble on the sketch in order for me to get exactly the shapes,sizes, and general idea that you want. My variety of mental disorders means sometimes I can't really understand what you're trying to tell me through text so I take things like that very seriously. I have no limit on what you want changed, I just want my client to be happy with the product I give them!

The reason I don't accept payment until after the initial sketch is because I live in a rough home and compounded with my issues, it can be very very hard for me to try to draw. I get out of this rutt eventually but sometimes it takes a few months.

I think that's all I really wanted to say, just as a clarification of the process from the heart. Thank you for reading.

As some of you know, I've had a cat for the past 14 or 15 years named Cody.

At about 4:44 PM on Monday the 17th of June I had to say goodbye to my best friend and fuzzy son Cody. He was the light of my life. Our bond was the most incredible thing. He's done so much for me and even in the end he made sure to know that he loved me with every fiber of his being by nuzzling me when we were putting him down. I've had him about 14 or 15 years. He was an old boy with a lot of love to give and receive.

Tongue cancer got him. He got so weak because he was unable to eat or drink. I was with him until the very end.

It's really rough now, to walk around my house and not see him there. He was an amazing cat that did all kinds of things that I'd never think possible of a cat. Never left my side, always giving me presents, never didn't come when called, brought me the dogs' sweaters, pulled down blinds beside me to peek out of them, laid down on command without being trained... so many memories with him that I'll cherish forever. My baby boy. I'll miss him but he held out for so long on fumes, just waiting for me to be ready to let go.

He wasn't just a cat, he was weirdly human and we shared a bond that was incredibly powerful and, honestly, we still do. He's helped me through so much in my life and while I'm horribly sad he's gone, I feel at peace because he told me he was ready and he loved me in the end and his suffering has ended.

As you all can tell. After an incident a few weeks ago I learned a lot about myself and figured out how to make myself happy. I'm full of confidence and vigor now and it's wonderful

It feels so freeing, it's such an amazing feeling to just draw and draw day in and day out again.

At long last, I'm able to do anthro art and it doesn't suck ass. At least for a while. I did an anthro adopt over on my other account for that stuff and boy did it feel nice once I finished the piece.

Who all is going to go see Shin Godzilla in october?

I'm probably going to try and get tickets for opening day.

Finally after years of waiting Saurian finally has their Kickstarter up. I'm so excite. ;v;

Can't wait to play the cute baby Dakotaraptor

Or at least half as active as I was. I'm even gonna try doing adopts and stuff again, have an auction up already


Just haven't really felt like drawing too much in forever, or doing much of anything.

Oh, and it's my birthday. 26 already xvx

It's fun. Go do it.

Free.

Be Dragon

Shootyflails

So I finally got a response to a thing, after waiting forever and a half.

This one guy drew and colored over a picture of mine (one of my Paint a Peens), it's very obviously traced and slightly altered. Very very obviously. But. Because it didn't match up 100% in all parts of the piece, that means it's not a trace? FA plz. Why. How. If you stretch something, trace it, and add spikes to it, it's still traced.

Oh well I guess.

So I just went through two kinds of hell. One was dealing with a vacation where my family never said anything to me that wasn't to belittle me(No,seriously. I 'ate' wrong), my old headset died on me and I had to buy a new one, and the other was suffering with a connection that could drop downloads to 4.5kb/s - 200kb/s. I had to get a new router and fiddle with all of that and it's just.. argghh. And it's STILL fucking up. It's a better connection and everything when it is working but.. argh



In other news, I still havent been able to fix Sai. It's NOT the canvas that's the issue. My screen isn't tall enough and cuts off things that I need (like brush sizes) for one of the menus so I have to go and take off the color wheel.


I still haven't been able to transfer my stuff from my old computer either, so basically all of my fluffin' adopts are dead in the water unless I make more or just do more PaP. Things are annoying.


I've taken up playing Dragon's Prophet at long last though and have formed a small guild known as BirdsOfPrey. I also want to play FFXIV and am going to have to figure out a way to keep up with the subs there. I need to get artwork done and commissions I guess!



Sorry to anyone I said I was going to get stuff done with, this past month or two have been real hell for me! ;v;

I have my new computer but I have to use my newer/older monitor with it which is fine except that Sai and everything else is weird because of size. I have to get used to arting all over again.


BUT




This computer is fucking amazing and totally worth it. =v=

I'll be able to go back to arts =v=

Soon I'll have my new computer and do that and play more games and stuff, and and make models. Can't wait. ^v^

Tuesday.

Finally had my huge chest reduction surgery yesterday. Everything is sore still but ill get better over time for sure. No art for a while probably though. Sadly ;v;


I'd type more but I'm only typing with a single hand since i cant reach both in front of me yet.

Ill make another journal and talk about it and my birthday last week when i can

So I'm going to be streaming art and stuff sometime. All streaming will be erratic and done whenever I feel like.

Twitch games
hitbox for some art and a few games
Picarto for art/NSFW arts

I'll be alternating between all three, sorry if it gets confusing x3.
I'll try and put a notice up when I'm streaming , tho dont get upset if i forget to.

I probably won't be having any music, though I'll be chatting with some friends of mine more often than not.

Also don't expect me or my friends to be paying attention to you or responding in chat too much. I don't have a second monitor myself and thus can't actually see chat, sorry.


On an unrelated not.. Sorry I haven't been responding to recent comments on my submissions for a few weeks! I've been going through some depression and stuff, and no I don't want to talk about it through notes or in comments here.. mostly because there's nothing to talk about, it's the clinical depression acting up without a real cause, nothing that can be helped.

I'm so happy i dont think anyone could understand. I basically slept these last few days away in depression. But now that I can draw again I'm so happy.

My hero was xane, cuz he so cute and floofy and nice.

The problem was apparently with the cord, thank goodness it was just the cord.

I can resume and accept commissions and stuff again too,eeeee.

At first I thought I was going to run out of pen nibs for my tablet but apparently my tablet had a different idea.

It's basically dead, I've done all I could, prolly gonna have to get a new one. Either my friend might give me one or I may have to buy one, I dunno. Shit sucks tho

Art isn't just a hobby for me, it actually keeps me calm and especially sane, hope I can hold up until i either get a new one or by some miracle it fixes itself.


My 'new' phone doesnt even have a camera so i can't even do traditional art and upload it, and I can't scan anything cuz the computer downstairs is super slow and half dead, it's basically using a walker at this point.

I could stuff in like, Sculptris maybe. I can't be as precise or anything tho but maybe I'll have to resort to that, cuz I need art, I neeeed to do art.

If I'm lucky I'll be able to buy one within the week at the least, if not I'm gonna be screwed for a while.

Not mine but like holy shit guys, check this shit out

I want all the things, it's awl so cute.. so feathery!