I won't forget who was here for me and who was not throughout all this pain and confusion, I won't forget who has abandoned me, and who has stayed,

once all this pain is gone, when there is nothing else left, without any kind of reasoning

I will remember the selfishness that was done, and I will remember who was supposed to be my friends, only turned out to be liars

nobody may think I'm paying attention but I will remember everything.

I will remember the shadows that crossed my room at night, and the thoughts that were scattered like cobwebs around in my head,
I know how to keep, who to lose, and I think the best friend I once had was myself, thats the greatest thing I lost.

A Recollection
By Vladimir Bernstein


My friends, I start with telling you that yes…I have indeed made many critiques and many more stories regarding emotions, but I would say it is ENTIRELY up to you if you would like to continue reading, and yes you may close the file anytime but keep in mind that your curiosity will get the better of you, and I hope it does, considering how many adults I meet in my life that seem to have cotton in their ears on how little they are willing to listen and register what is being said, adults that demand Respect for what? Respect is among many gifts that simply can’t be taken by a command, respect is what is given freely through the individual’s state of will. Most adults I’ve met have not done anything to earn that respect, besides however, my sisters mother that I respect because of her kindness and her true hard working will. I’ve have found it hard to really respect my legal guardians, (it is longer than parents but they have not earned the title of that through heart, like respect that cannot be bought or taken) much less they do not deserve the term “Legal guardian” because I doubt they could protect a chick from a Fox.

Parents are supposed to be the ones to care if their child is drowning in depression or thinking about hurting themselves, they are supposed to teach love, respect, discipline, and courage, they are supposed to not care about a certain protocol for parenting because to be honest…there isn’t one! True parents are the ones that stay true to their heart and would do anything to make sure their child is safe in their arms.
These legal guardians, have only cared about Money, and work, and have never given any thought about how well I was doing, being in some ignorant blissful world where EVERYONE is alright. This is not true and yes you could say this seems a bit derogatory to say, and yes it is so hard to believe that these angels of Americans would care anything for some supposedly “Russian Devils” or paying a bunch of money to get three of us than have no clue what to do afterwards (the sign of stupidity by the way considering how much paperwork, and savings it takes to make this life decision, I have also been aware my Male legal guardian didn’t even WANT us in the first place but was coaxed into it by my female legal guardian, so in truthfully I have not had a ideal father for a very long time, there have a shortage of motherly figures as well, however I consider my sister Anna like a mother, but also a sister.

Than when I did come here, I was put through many language classes and my sister had to go to a “special education” high school because she was a bit late as far as attending education, yet again these legal guardians maintained their ignorant bliss that everything was alright, it was always about them nobody ever stopped to think about or check in with how Anna felt about it, nobody ever stopped to think about how it felt to be treated like you couldn’t do anything on your own in life, and Sveta as well was treated as an outcast, never included in anything, when she stayed in her room, or trying to leave the house, these supposedly angelic guardians did nothing to sit down and talk to her about this. They have lived with fear, cowardice, and encouraged rejection through their lives, when my sisters and I had depression, when we decided life wasn’t for us anymore, even than these “Oh so good guardians” did NOTHING to protect them, did nothing to find the truth. This is why I am telling the truth right now, these good guardians locked the fridge because, my sister would get butter there, and they would never have enough to eat in the fridge. They LOCKED it. Who does that?

I am writing to you to explain the TRUTH and personal experience that I have had having these American legal guardians, and I want people to know the shame they have committed here, because they will not accept self responsibility, they will always lie. Those that lie will be brought to justice in the end, when justice is divine.

Hello and welcome, I will now be doing a Q and A as everyone else is because that's being social and that's how you get to know me

* places paw on heart * no matter how wild it is I'll answer honestly and truthfully.

Shoot.

My sister and I were on a bus to Uptown in Minneapolis, MN we were heading to meet my sister's boyfriend to take us to the statefair, Suddenly I heard shouting, there were three girls, one of the girls started to yell at the girl in the red shirt, I didn't like the girls very well considering the use of their obscenity. I was trying to enjoy the bus rider and than (Language warning) "I like how people say your beautiful when your a bitch!" One of the girls said, than the girl who had curley hair beat on the woman repeatedly before leaving the bus. It quieted down the woman calm now, I look and two police officers are outside the first cop walks in and asks if the woman was intoxicated. The woman says she isn't, than the cop insists she is putting on a pair of black gloves he asks her to go outside, she stays still asking "if it is inappropriate to" the officer says his not asking his ordering, the woman complies walking outside I see the officer pull out a pair of handcuffs and arrest the poor woman who was having a bad day.

It seems as if each day, isn't any different.
I go to the VA to volunteer, mop up a floor, clean a room or a table and that's fun but than I go back to school, the hours tick slowly as I'm so anxious about the next furry event, about meeting other furries, questions spin like "will they like me? What do I say? Will what I'm wearing be good enough?" And each day is painful because it is the same way. Get up. Work. Leave. Work. Pay attention. Free time. Work. My muscles react like a robot,
And It sucks. I guess depression comes from just feeling too much anxiety,
All I've ever really wanted was two things,
Knowing what love is, and finding friends I can trust.