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Rough night,need some kind words.
Posted 12 years agoSo not alot of people watch me. So this is a good place to rant. Tryed facebook but everyone complains about whiening there, the best part my mate is never online so he problly wont see this.
Im tired of long distance e-realshionship. Where he nver wants to talk to me. I mean like on a deep emotional level. I mean he lives a county over from me. Only like 45 mintes. Yet we're still in an emotional block. He could say he knows me. but i have yet to really feel his emotional side. And worse i never havee the time to get to know him because all our time is just laying together and watching tv or eating or hanging with friends. No real talking. The rare times iv gotten him to talk emotinal he always turns the conversation to me. Am i wrong for wanting to know him? Like on an emotioal level? We've been together for about 9 months now. And iv let him brake down my emotinal wall, after my ex distroyed my entire world. Why wont he let me do the same?
I mean he cares the world about me i can tell. Hes always saying he misses me, and always says he wants to help, but yet hes always just a "txt" away. Am i wrong for wanting him to call in sick for just ine day at the job he works all week all day for just one day. am I wrong for wanting to spend the day with him, and to be involved in his life that he dosen't want to share with me? Then what does that mean for me? Am i just a convenunce for him? Is it wrong to want to sleep beside him everynight, and get up and start the day with him?
Iv asked about staying with him but His mother wont alow it. Yes he lives with mother still, but shes a sweet lady with really bad health. and he takes care of her. But she forbites me from spending the night once or twice. I can understand she thinks that where up to no good. But to be HONEST I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT SEX, as long as i got to be with him. As far as him staying with me its the same. I just got out of college and im still living with my parents. And they think the same thing.
We have planed out things were we spend time together, like for example we spent a night together ina hotel and when to a show and dinner. We tried that with the week of his birthday when he got off work, i asked off too so that we could spend the week together, well one thing led to another and whe ended up just spending the normal sunday together with the exeption of his acually bithday, becuase he had other plans, got sick, and had other thigns todo. Well i understand that he has responsabilitys and dosen't get to see his friends and needs that time, but am i wrong for thinking hes pushing me to the side in this? Or am i just being too clingy for him.
Iv asked him about moveing out to our own place but he keeps dogdeing the question. Am i wrong to push it futher till he awnsers and is it too soon?
Back to the issuse of seeing each other. I work as well, and our days over lap, when im not working he is when hes not working i am. The only day were not working is sunday. Latly those sundays are being taken slowly but surely hour by hour, someone was something that needs to be done, or a friend comes over and takes the time away by wanting to play games.
Well the whole issues that brought all this is A promotion at my work. I'm being promted to a shift managor, And if i accpet, it mean giving up all my confermed days off, in excange for one day a week no week ends, well he works all week and has week ends off,
but if i did give up the sundays i will have a higher paying job and maybe able to build up the money to move out of my parents and have him over with me. But it would mean giveing up all pysical contact with him intill i acually have the aparment, and im not sure we' re that strong. Iv talked t him alittle bit about it, and he wants me to fight for sundays, but i don't know? I want to be closer to him. Pysicaly.
I just im just asking if any of the people that may read this can offer some sort of advise or a kind word to let me know im not alone in this.
If you get this far in this emotinal rant thank for at least reading my words.
-Shadow Statik Ryder
Im tired of long distance e-realshionship. Where he nver wants to talk to me. I mean like on a deep emotional level. I mean he lives a county over from me. Only like 45 mintes. Yet we're still in an emotional block. He could say he knows me. but i have yet to really feel his emotional side. And worse i never havee the time to get to know him because all our time is just laying together and watching tv or eating or hanging with friends. No real talking. The rare times iv gotten him to talk emotinal he always turns the conversation to me. Am i wrong for wanting to know him? Like on an emotioal level? We've been together for about 9 months now. And iv let him brake down my emotinal wall, after my ex distroyed my entire world. Why wont he let me do the same?
I mean he cares the world about me i can tell. Hes always saying he misses me, and always says he wants to help, but yet hes always just a "txt" away. Am i wrong for wanting him to call in sick for just ine day at the job he works all week all day for just one day. am I wrong for wanting to spend the day with him, and to be involved in his life that he dosen't want to share with me? Then what does that mean for me? Am i just a convenunce for him? Is it wrong to want to sleep beside him everynight, and get up and start the day with him?
Iv asked about staying with him but His mother wont alow it. Yes he lives with mother still, but shes a sweet lady with really bad health. and he takes care of her. But she forbites me from spending the night once or twice. I can understand she thinks that where up to no good. But to be HONEST I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT SEX, as long as i got to be with him. As far as him staying with me its the same. I just got out of college and im still living with my parents. And they think the same thing.
We have planed out things were we spend time together, like for example we spent a night together ina hotel and when to a show and dinner. We tried that with the week of his birthday when he got off work, i asked off too so that we could spend the week together, well one thing led to another and whe ended up just spending the normal sunday together with the exeption of his acually bithday, becuase he had other plans, got sick, and had other thigns todo. Well i understand that he has responsabilitys and dosen't get to see his friends and needs that time, but am i wrong for thinking hes pushing me to the side in this? Or am i just being too clingy for him.
Iv asked him about moveing out to our own place but he keeps dogdeing the question. Am i wrong to push it futher till he awnsers and is it too soon?
Back to the issuse of seeing each other. I work as well, and our days over lap, when im not working he is when hes not working i am. The only day were not working is sunday. Latly those sundays are being taken slowly but surely hour by hour, someone was something that needs to be done, or a friend comes over and takes the time away by wanting to play games.
Well the whole issues that brought all this is A promotion at my work. I'm being promted to a shift managor, And if i accpet, it mean giving up all my confermed days off, in excange for one day a week no week ends, well he works all week and has week ends off,
but if i did give up the sundays i will have a higher paying job and maybe able to build up the money to move out of my parents and have him over with me. But it would mean giveing up all pysical contact with him intill i acually have the aparment, and im not sure we' re that strong. Iv talked t him alittle bit about it, and he wants me to fight for sundays, but i don't know? I want to be closer to him. Pysicaly.
I just im just asking if any of the people that may read this can offer some sort of advise or a kind word to let me know im not alone in this.
If you get this far in this emotinal rant thank for at least reading my words.
-Shadow Statik Ryder
Do you like Pokemon?
Posted 12 years agoIf you do dont miss out on the chance to work with a bunch of other artist.
rickyhorror's doing a masive collab.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:35446245
rickyhorror's doing a masive collab.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:35446245
Dude check this out!!!
Posted 12 years agoMan this is really cool it sound like fun go look at it!!! InsaneBoredom is makeing a flash game
<a href="/user/insaneboredom" class="iconusername"><img src="//a.facdn.net/insaneboredom.gif" align="middle" title="insaneboredom" alt="insaneboredom" /></a>
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:34130757
<a href="/user/insaneboredom" class="iconusername"><img src="//a.facdn.net/insaneboredom.gif" align="middle" title="insaneboredom" alt="insaneboredom" /></a>
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:34130757
YAY for art and practice!!!
Posted 12 years agoThank you guys for the challanges,
so far i have
- a bearded dragon
- a bear
- a tiger/dragon hybred
- a cat
Im so excited!!!!!
Tahnks again for leting me draw your characters!!!!!
so far i have
- a bearded dragon
- a bear
- a tiger/dragon hybred
- a cat
Im so excited!!!!!
Tahnks again for leting me draw your characters!!!!!
25 journals skipped
