Hello I guess I ought to make my final post to this account to put it to rest.

I left the fandom a while ago and honestly was a really good decision for me.
I'm a significantly different person from who I was while in the fandom, a much better person.
Very little of my art is figurative now, I'm a conceptual artist, and lost my ability to draw cartoons/furries almost entirely. (I still draw animals on a regular basis though, just not cartoony ones)
I'm a huge weirdo and discovered that I'm a Lemur Therian. So there's that.
I'm doing well in life, generally.

You're welcome to talk to me on my skype whenever I'm on.
black_monarche

Hello everyone! Some might know already but I'm trying to get top surgery this summer. It's an expensive procedure so I'm opening porn commissions (and sfw commissions too if that's what you like)

I have some more info here

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12474314/

please let me know if you're interested, everything helps.

Forgot to mention that I started hormones 5 days ago hohoho

Hey everyone! I'm determined to get fit, for a number of reasons, although I already walk/bike about 30 5+ days of the week I still don't feel like it's enough. So what I'm asking for, does anyone have some favorite exercise routines that work well for them? I don't really have access to much equipment at the time (well my apartment has a "gym" but not really)
Also exercise really helps me with my depression and anxiety. In a few weeks my partner is departing for portland for 3 months and since we started dating I've felt 23445454x better. So the long distance is definitely going to take a toll on my emotional well being and I need to be able to do something to help me deal with it.

Other news that is sorta related. I will begin HRT either next month or January. I'll know for sure the first week of December, as that's when my Endo appointment is! It's a big decision that I've put a lot of thought into and I'm really comfortable with the idea of HRT now(also found out my insurance will cover my hormones as long as I do it a very specific way)
I really want to get a head start on this work out business so that I'll be able to burn this "female" fat quickly once it starts distributing in a more male pattern. Also exercising is good for a more masculine appearance y'know?

Also finally got new glasses after not having any for 3 months. Yay!!

Why is it snowing already holy crap.

Im considering selling honeydew. Not because I want to but I don't really use them anymore and I don't really go to conventions anymore so I don't have any oppertunity to wear the fursuit. I really need money to pay for my surgery and I figure I'd get a considerable sum from that. But I don't really know just thinking about it.
I would be selling the fursuit plus badges.
Sigh it's hard, I really like the character I do but Im not sure what to do.

I am now legally Kennedy.
Finally gosh darn it I was a little worried. Now I get to play around with the craziness that is replacing all my legal documents.

Tomorrow I'm beginning the process to legally change my name! So about a week from now I'll LEGALLY be Kennedy.
Yippee!! Progress feels awesome! I'm nervous yet excited.

It's supposed to be fall and cool out, but I was out in shorts and a tank and it was so hot outside.
I sweated a whole bucket probably.

What the heck.

Hey guys! As many people know, I'm a transman (though a very androgynous one) with the intentions to medically transition.
Something that I've been dealing with a lot lately is dysphoria, like to the point I actually have been getting anxiety attacks about it! Most of it is from my chest, though I bind daily it's something that's still hard to deal with since I know under my binder THEY are still there.
I also have difficulty with my voice, which sounds really feminine/12 year old boyish at this point.

I likely won't start hormones until somewhere else down the line, still got family stuff to work out, and financial issues to deal with. I'm putting more resources into my top surgery first, since it's #1 priority. Hormones can come at any time.

Though surgery won't be for another 3-5 years. What I'm asking is, how can I cope with that? Any ideas? Any thing work for others?

Also any links to vocal exercises to help train me to deepen timbre/pitch would be EXTREMELY appreciated!! <3

love,
Ken

Today is the day
the b-day
the big day

I'm 19

Ahhhhh I'm just gonna gush
For months I've been struggling with lack of motivation, but since I recently took on a project to start working on a mini comic this week I've been incredibly inspired to work and get stuff done. I literally stay up late just to work it's so nice.
Part of it is thanks to being in such a healthy, and inspiring relationship.
My new therapist has also been incredible and has been really pushing me to work.
I know that to a certain degree I'm still unhappy with my art but knowing that I'm moving in the right direction is a super hopeful feeling.

I'm getting closer to my dream of drawing comics anxiety free, like I'm actually seeing the progress before my very own eyes and that is incredible.
<3

Thank you for all the support everyone on here too.

It's been on my mind a lot lately. (I've been contemplating it for a year now actually)
Though being an extremely poor college student I don't really feel like I'm in the position to turn down free food, free food usually being meat.
I'm also very much a social eater, many of my friends being big eaters on meat.
I dunno, any words of advice? I have many reasons for wanting to go vegetarian, both health and ethics related.

Life has been pretty nice lately, school is about to start back up and I am VERY excited!
There have been a lot of crazy things to happen this summer, but I'm getting much better at coping with anxiety.
I've also gotten a wonderful new therapist that actually gives me art assignments as homework, it's kind of weird but nice? I'm such a student I guess. I like homework. hurrhurr

Another thing, I recruited one of my friends to make an account of FA. If you aren't following him you should definitely do so, he has wonderful work.

Anyway, how has everyone else's summer been going?

Does anyone know of any good RP groups that have a good focus on art and community? I'm trying to get back into world building and story telling through character development. Most of the RP communities I'm finding on google are pretty sad though. Any help or pointing in the right direction would be great. I'm fine with places that require an application.

I'm also looking for a potential writer for a short story comic, maybe 6-10 pages, nothing big. I'm trying to do new things other than auto-bio comics, which seem to be the only kind of comics I can confidentially draw at the moment.
I'm really okay with anything, I just need to explore stuff and I'm having trouble motivating myself.

Thank you!!

Who is ready for ANTHROCON???

The past couple of days I've been feeling a lot of anxiety in regards of my transition.
On sunday, my Mother basically called me and tried to convince me that I shouldn't be trans. Not blatantly but she was trying to imply to me that I could be happy without going on hormones or getting surgery, something which is not possible. She just COULD NOT understand what it feels like to be trans. She also outted me to my father which has made me extremely upset and now I feel incredibly guilty over the pain that he feels about my transition.
I know that my family is trying to be supportive, but now I just feel like they don't understand and that being with them is no longer a "safe space" for me. (I mean in mental health)
I've been having panic attacks again, anytime some one tries to make me second guess myself about my decision to medically transition really freaks me out. Since it makes me actually hesitate it's extremely anxiety producing because it makes me question if this is actually right for me.
Ultimately it is, I feel so stupid about my body everyday, every time I talk to some one and they address me as "miss" or "ma'am" I feel crushed and defeated.
I hate my body, and I want to correct it. Taking hormones is the only way to achieve the appearance I need.
If all goes well I should be starting T in July/August.

I just wish I was born Male, or sometimes, not even born at all.

I'm leaving for Anthrocon in two weeks and two days AGGHHHHHHHHHHH
It's coming up too soon ugh cons stress me out too much :P
It doesn't help that I have another con coming up in 10 days.

Also, still looking for one more room mate!
Lemme know if you're interested.

Help my buddy out!!
Art is totally rad, and super cheap
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10868745/

<3

Alright so a couple of stuff to note before AC

One of the people sharing the room with us dropped out, so we have space for ONE person. We are in the doubletree, lemme know if your interested.

AC 2013 will likely be my last furry con for a while. The reason being is that I really need to get serious about funding my transition and eventually paying for my top surgery (planning to have that 3 years from now)
It's going to involve a lot of saving, and honestly as much as I love furries and furry things, damn it's expensive!!
I think the money will be better spent to funding my medical transition, and finally correcting the problems with my body.
So if you want to meet up with me, AC would be the best place to do it. Lemme know if you want my number so we can meet up. :)

Another thing, like I did at FWA, I will be passing out some little free zines again. Be on the look out!!

Thanks guys, see you in a couple of weeks!

Where are you staying?
The Doubletree!

What day are you getting there?
Friday morning/afternoon

Who will you be rooming with?
and maybe a couple of others.

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Evvveryone. I kind of like to just let things happen.

What is the best way to find you?
DON'T. Or text me.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Not likely!!

What do you look like?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527046/ there I am

Will you be suiting?
Probably not! We'll see.

Do you do free art?
Not if you have to ask!

Do you do trades?
Yes, if I like what you produce.

What is your gender?
Male

How tall are you?
5'2"


Are you mated/in a relationship?
Yes with

Can I talk to you?
Yes go ahead! I love meeting people.

Can I touch you?
Please ask first :)

Can I visit your room?
Only if I invite you

Can I buy you drinks?
Only if you feel like givin to me

Can I give you stuff?
Why not??

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs are fine, snuggles are reserved for an exclusive few.

Are you nice?
I try to be?

How long are you going?
Friday to Monday morning

Do you have an artist table?
Noope

Will you be going to parties?
Maybe if I get invited

Will you be performing?
I don't believe so.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Steely is usually good. Kennedy or Honey works too.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If you want to and I invite you!

Can I take your picture?
Sure if you want to?

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To meet up with folks and make friends!!

Muchas smooches!! Who else is going? Who wants to meet up?

YUP

I hate it when I mention I'm friends with some one and people jump to assume that I like them romantically.
And so I tell them no and they're like YES YOU DO. YEAH.
So it's like the more you say no, the more they think you do because you're just denying it or something. No I just don't like this person???

it hasn't happened recently I was just thinking about it. UGH.

Sometimes that show gets real
like that dog episode almost made me cry just now
damn