Happy Donkey Day 05/08
Posted a year agoAnother Donkey Day is upon us! Some of you may remember that we didn't not get to celebrate much last year due to my pc having issues and taking weeks to repair. Well unfortunately given my ongoing poor health circumstances, I may have to postpone event stream related donkey stuff again this year. As much as I love having excuses to draw the donks, I'm just currently overloaded with too many problems.
A mini update on the health issues: I'm still waiting to hear back from lab tests, I might get news Friday afternoon for that if they actually have results.
I haven't been able to get in contact with the surgeon I've supposedly been referred to (his number is out of service and he has apparently left the country), so I'm not really sure what else I can do currently but wait for things to either clear up on their own or get urgent enough for the hospital to actually care to treat. Which has been pretty stressful so far.
I'd woken up today with the intent to finish at least one donkey piece or donkey related commission, but I also woke up to an infestation of tiny ants coming out of the wall adjacent to the front garden, (it tends to happen every few years) so today for me will mostly be putting out the fire that is that mess.
Once things settle down completely, and when or if my health manages to improve in the coming months, I'll probably announce another 'pay what you want' style Donk days/Dogust style week thing just to at least have one this year.
So have a heeee-hawww day and remember, you'll only grow those ears and tails if you're truly behaving like a jackass!
A mini update on the health issues: I'm still waiting to hear back from lab tests, I might get news Friday afternoon for that if they actually have results.
I haven't been able to get in contact with the surgeon I've supposedly been referred to (his number is out of service and he has apparently left the country), so I'm not really sure what else I can do currently but wait for things to either clear up on their own or get urgent enough for the hospital to actually care to treat. Which has been pretty stressful so far.
I'd woken up today with the intent to finish at least one donkey piece or donkey related commission, but I also woke up to an infestation of tiny ants coming out of the wall adjacent to the front garden, (it tends to happen every few years) so today for me will mostly be putting out the fire that is that mess.
Once things settle down completely, and when or if my health manages to improve in the coming months, I'll probably announce another 'pay what you want' style Donk days/Dogust style week thing just to at least have one this year.
So have a heeee-hawww day and remember, you'll only grow those ears and tails if you're truly behaving like a jackass!
Short Mini Teeny Weeny Health Update
Posted a year agoSo every other day for the past half a month I've been squirting out blood like a terrified octopus. And while that sound scary I assure you all it is completely normal once you reach the second form of your transformation.
At my appointment today I was informed it would be upwards to a year long wait to see a gastroenterologist for my issue. So I've been referred to a general surgeon to take a "quick look around to make sure it's nothing serious" or treat it if it is just an internal hemorrhoid causing issues, getting some tests that will be done for parasite/viral causes in the meantime. But the initial questions after discussing symptoms was if there was a family history of ulcerative colitis.
Since I still have to submit those tests in the next day or so I'll be on break a short while longer. But once that's all submitted and I know when to expect the surgeon appointment I can resume my regular stuff. I was resting a lot this week and while the blood is still an issue, it does feel like in the last day or two the other symptoms have dropped a level in severity, but I don't wanna jinx anything.
Additionally, I should add that I have been regularly taking iron supplements, resting and staying hydrated. To the point where according to my last blood test I am no longer anemic at least. And if the result later does turn out to confirm IBD, I do actually have a general guideline to follow for what I should do to adjust my diet going forward.
On the art end of things:
I've been ever so slowly inking queue stuff and filling in flat colours on the side. I've been putting off writing upload descriptions and posting some art but it will come as soon as I'm feeling better. Which will (paw toes crossed) hopefully be within the coming month.
At my appointment today I was informed it would be upwards to a year long wait to see a gastroenterologist for my issue. So I've been referred to a general surgeon to take a "quick look around to make sure it's nothing serious" or treat it if it is just an internal hemorrhoid causing issues, getting some tests that will be done for parasite/viral causes in the meantime. But the initial questions after discussing symptoms was if there was a family history of ulcerative colitis.
Since I still have to submit those tests in the next day or so I'll be on break a short while longer. But once that's all submitted and I know when to expect the surgeon appointment I can resume my regular stuff. I was resting a lot this week and while the blood is still an issue, it does feel like in the last day or two the other symptoms have dropped a level in severity, but I don't wanna jinx anything.
Additionally, I should add that I have been regularly taking iron supplements, resting and staying hydrated. To the point where according to my last blood test I am no longer anemic at least. And if the result later does turn out to confirm IBD, I do actually have a general guideline to follow for what I should do to adjust my diet going forward.
On the art end of things:
I've been ever so slowly inking queue stuff and filling in flat colours on the side. I've been putting off writing upload descriptions and posting some art but it will come as soon as I'm feeling better. Which will (paw toes crossed) hopefully be within the coming month.
But now I'm only falling apart~
Posted a year agoI've been dealing with a very rough 3 months of daily chronic abdominal/bowel issues. And so far I have no clues or real answers from the clinic beyond that it could be long covid related. I've been experimenting with changing up my diet to little to no change and it's just been an exhausting few weeks overall. I haven't yet made another appointment but I probably should fairly soon.
This month in particular is a more stressful period of the year for me, but where it's normally just self employment tax stress and uncomfortable family birthday celebrations, this year has the added benefit of an eclipse, my older sister is back in a deeply manic depression episode and I'm falling behind on everything in general. My only real relief from all of this is that, time marches on and once April is over it won't come back for another year at least.
I've been having a very difficult time picking up my pen this past week, I've opened up everything to draw, the stream, clip studio, all my stuff, but my grip has been loose, my brain is foggy and my muscle memory is out for lunch. I have been spending a lot of the past few weeks revisiting the past, clearing out half of the submissions people I watch on here have posted over the last 4 years, fav'ing and saving what I enjoyed and adjusting my watch list for artists that I'd prefer to get less inbox clogging from and would rather just bookmark. Revisiting all the old has left me thinking about where I've been and where I am going as an artist. What do I want my art to be? What do I want to change? How do I want people to see me? I don't really have any answers to any of it, and I feel like I'm just going to keep putting it off until I'm at a point where I don't owe anyone anything, and can fully hard reset my priorities. Will I ever reach that goal? I keep moving the goal post so it feels unlikely to happen soon unless the ever increasingly dystopian future decides to cut us all a break somehow.
I've been monitoring the situation with Patreon and policy changes, I'm increasingly concerned that I'm just going to have to pack up and move everything to SubscribeStar in the near future.
If things do become an issue with Patreon going forward, I may reserve it for posting the sfw versions and make a more dedicated early access space on discord for adult posts if necessary. There's a few commissions I'm actively working on that I am concerned may fall under their new rulings for removal that I may just have to avoid posting on Patreon entirely. Patreon is and always has been more of a tip jar for my work primarily. So anyone is free to support me through other means such as Ko-fi if anything happens in the future with other sites.
Tomorrow I might be able to catch the eclipse, but I don't really know what to expect with my family, since they seem to be against making any solid plans and putting things off until the last minute. I hope a lot of you are able to catch it that can, seems there won't be another chance for 20 years. And as you know, the eclipse is basically the ultra darkened version of a full moon so everyone under the path of totality secretly become possessed by evil werewolf spirits. That's a thing, I didn't just make it up.
Anyway, that's what's been up, I don't know when my art mojo will return, but I will stream again as soon as it does. For now I may just quietly nibble away at some more difficult pictures and plan out some of the forms to keep myself going. I might be contacting any submitted google forms that are just simple sketches or inks, I don't want to take on any more colour stuff until I've cleared up the backlog because I'm just slower at colouring in general. I really need to learn to loosen up a bit more and just let go with it.
Thanks for reading!
This month in particular is a more stressful period of the year for me, but where it's normally just self employment tax stress and uncomfortable family birthday celebrations, this year has the added benefit of an eclipse, my older sister is back in a deeply manic depression episode and I'm falling behind on everything in general. My only real relief from all of this is that, time marches on and once April is over it won't come back for another year at least.
I've been having a very difficult time picking up my pen this past week, I've opened up everything to draw, the stream, clip studio, all my stuff, but my grip has been loose, my brain is foggy and my muscle memory is out for lunch. I have been spending a lot of the past few weeks revisiting the past, clearing out half of the submissions people I watch on here have posted over the last 4 years, fav'ing and saving what I enjoyed and adjusting my watch list for artists that I'd prefer to get less inbox clogging from and would rather just bookmark. Revisiting all the old has left me thinking about where I've been and where I am going as an artist. What do I want my art to be? What do I want to change? How do I want people to see me? I don't really have any answers to any of it, and I feel like I'm just going to keep putting it off until I'm at a point where I don't owe anyone anything, and can fully hard reset my priorities. Will I ever reach that goal? I keep moving the goal post so it feels unlikely to happen soon unless the ever increasingly dystopian future decides to cut us all a break somehow.
I've been monitoring the situation with Patreon and policy changes, I'm increasingly concerned that I'm just going to have to pack up and move everything to SubscribeStar in the near future.
If things do become an issue with Patreon going forward, I may reserve it for posting the sfw versions and make a more dedicated early access space on discord for adult posts if necessary. There's a few commissions I'm actively working on that I am concerned may fall under their new rulings for removal that I may just have to avoid posting on Patreon entirely. Patreon is and always has been more of a tip jar for my work primarily. So anyone is free to support me through other means such as Ko-fi if anything happens in the future with other sites.
Tomorrow I might be able to catch the eclipse, but I don't really know what to expect with my family, since they seem to be against making any solid plans and putting things off until the last minute. I hope a lot of you are able to catch it that can, seems there won't be another chance for 20 years. And as you know, the eclipse is basically the ultra darkened version of a full moon so everyone under the path of totality secretly become possessed by evil werewolf spirits. That's a thing, I didn't just make it up.
Anyway, that's what's been up, I don't know when my art mojo will return, but I will stream again as soon as it does. For now I may just quietly nibble away at some more difficult pictures and plan out some of the forms to keep myself going. I might be contacting any submitted google forms that are just simple sketches or inks, I don't want to take on any more colour stuff until I've cleared up the backlog because I'm just slower at colouring in general. I really need to learn to loosen up a bit more and just let go with it.
Thanks for reading!
Ruff Week + Mini Update
Posted a year agoI was gonna make a post-con journal right after the con but I got hit with the big EEP.
Since I had to spend the majority of this week either resting, going to appointments, watching things with friends, and assisting with family matters I didn't really get to stream much at all. But I also haven't really felt up for drawing for health reasons related to the appointments and am falling a little behind again.
So this is just me posting saying I am okay mostly, I will still do a post con journal when I get the chance. And I will try to do a wheel stream before the month is out, I realize I only really got to do 2-3 this month at best. But I do need to push myself to finish more of the queue stuff which are still hovering in the late shading/inking stages so I haven't yet gotten a chance to consider taking on anymore bigger things and I may have to take a pause at the start of April to get my taxes out of the way before it gets put off too long.
Either way, I might need a touch more sleep since going to the con kinda threw my whole body clock outta whack from all the caffeine. So if you need me I will be a blanket cocoon for awhile longer.
Since I had to spend the majority of this week either resting, going to appointments, watching things with friends, and assisting with family matters I didn't really get to stream much at all. But I also haven't really felt up for drawing for health reasons related to the appointments and am falling a little behind again.
So this is just me posting saying I am okay mostly, I will still do a post con journal when I get the chance. And I will try to do a wheel stream before the month is out, I realize I only really got to do 2-3 this month at best. But I do need to push myself to finish more of the queue stuff which are still hovering in the late shading/inking stages so I haven't yet gotten a chance to consider taking on anymore bigger things and I may have to take a pause at the start of April to get my taxes out of the way before it gets put off too long.
Either way, I might need a touch more sleep since going to the con kinda threw my whole body clock outta whack from all the caffeine. So if you need me I will be a blanket cocoon for awhile longer.
Anyone here at Furnal?
Posted a year agoI was planning on dropping by the con this weekend, but my overnight plans mostly fell through and I don't really know of more than 3 - 4 currently there/maybe going off the top of my head.
Were any of you gonna be there that would want to meet or hang out? I can possibly train in for both days, but I don't know if I'm really up for going it alone again.
If you're interested let me know, I don't really have much going on otherwise.
Were any of you gonna be there that would want to meet or hang out? I can possibly train in for both days, but I don't know if I'm really up for going it alone again.
If you're interested let me know, I don't really have much going on otherwise.
Wheel Sketch Stream(Offline) + 2024 Forms
Posted a year agoGotta save for FE still so doin' more sketch wheels again.
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
EDIT: Wheel is done for tonight! May continue tomorrow!
PS: If you are unable to attend the streams and/or are looking to get something bigger in the future...
You can always try at submitting a 2024 Google form: https://forms.gle/8NfRSAYgcSVEDGFd6
It's not guaranteed I'll be able to do all form submissions, but it's the closest thing to a wait list I have at the moment and I'm more likely to pick ideas that jive with what I feel like doing at the time with a better result.
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
EDIT: Wheel is done for tonight! May continue tomorrow!
PS: If you are unable to attend the streams and/or are looking to get something bigger in the future...
You can always try at submitting a 2024 Google form: https://forms.gle/8NfRSAYgcSVEDGFd6
It's not guaranteed I'll be able to do all form submissions, but it's the closest thing to a wait list I have at the moment and I'm more likely to pick ideas that jive with what I feel like doing at the time with a better result.
January Wheel Stream - Offline
Posted 2 years agoOoga booga booga
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
EDIT: Had to end the stream early since I was feeling very drained. Will try to plan a more prepped in advance wheel sometime in the future.
Thanks to all who stopped by.
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
EDIT: Had to end the stream early since I was feeling very drained. Will try to plan a more prepped in advance wheel sometime in the future.
Thanks to all who stopped by.
Winter Form
Posted 2 years agoIn an attempt to sort of break away from dissatisfaction of the fomo nature of wheel stream commissions. For the next little while I am gonna try to commit to a very small form opening to take a small side 1-2 things at a time, max.
If you are interested, my prices are on my page and the form is here:
https://forms.gle/8NfRSAYgcSVEDGFd6
I may still do wheel sketch streams if there is no real interest in form submissions or if the requests sent in are too large as I am really just looking to catch up with bills this next week or two after taking a lot of downtime from art burnout. I'm not really looking to burn out again so please do not be offended if your form gets no response as the majority may not. (At least until I am caught up with ALL my current paid works. About 6 mostly coloured images/sequences at this point.)
This form has no set end date but I will close it if the submission count gets too unruly, please consider all the details of what you are looking to commission before submitting!
If you are interested, my prices are on my page and the form is here:
https://forms.gle/8NfRSAYgcSVEDGFd6
I may still do wheel sketch streams if there is no real interest in form submissions or if the requests sent in are too large as I am really just looking to catch up with bills this next week or two after taking a lot of downtime from art burnout. I'm not really looking to burn out again so please do not be offended if your form gets no response as the majority may not. (At least until I am caught up with ALL my current paid works. About 6 mostly coloured images/sequences at this point.)
This form has no set end date but I will close it if the submission count gets too unruly, please consider all the details of what you are looking to commission before submitting!
Hi How Goes
Posted 2 years agoJust dropping by to say hi, still kicking around here. Just creatively drained from world events etc.
I've been making okay progress on backlog stuff, which a few are like 90% done and just need a short afternoon of focus to finish, but I've been very burned out and mostly gaming more than usual with friends the past few weeks. So a lot of stuff is lagging behind again and I apologize for not uploading most of the Halloween stuff here yet. The lack of focus has made it very difficult to sit down and write descriptions, organize folders/posts or do anything administrative in general. When I am in that mode again I'll probably just upload it all at once rather than space things out again.
I kinda miss doing more art for myself and I might take some time to do some in the near future again. But I have too many ideas for large comics and not enough time/energy/resources to afford really hunkering down and scripting/layouting all those one shot kind of tfs. Such is life though.
Hope you are all doing okay!
I've been making okay progress on backlog stuff, which a few are like 90% done and just need a short afternoon of focus to finish, but I've been very burned out and mostly gaming more than usual with friends the past few weeks. So a lot of stuff is lagging behind again and I apologize for not uploading most of the Halloween stuff here yet. The lack of focus has made it very difficult to sit down and write descriptions, organize folders/posts or do anything administrative in general. When I am in that mode again I'll probably just upload it all at once rather than space things out again.
I kinda miss doing more art for myself and I might take some time to do some in the near future again. But I have too many ideas for large comics and not enough time/energy/resources to afford really hunkering down and scripting/layouting all those one shot kind of tfs. Such is life though.
Hope you are all doing okay!
October Sketch Wheel Stream - Ended
Posted 2 years agohttps://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Awoo and Boo minions, it's alive.
-Edit- Stream has ended, will stream again sooon!
Awoo and Boo minions, it's alive.
-Edit- Stream has ended, will stream again sooon!
Early Morning Dogust Sketch Stream
Posted 2 years agoDoin a soft launch of some doggo stuff
hop in if you're looking to commission a sketch
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
if no one shows up since it's so early this morning I may end up doin first come first serve but we'll seee~
hop in if you're looking to commission a sketch
https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
if no one shows up since it's so early this morning I may end up doin first come first serve but we'll seee~
Birthday Stream (Offline)
Posted 2 years agohttps://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Come, balloon, party, chat! You're all invited!
Edit! Stream has ended for now, will post the results when I finish up the last bit of details on my ref sheet tomorrow~
Thankyou all for coming, will be hanging out post stream in the discord if you wanna stop by and chat!
Come, balloon, party, chat! You're all invited!
Edit! Stream has ended for now, will post the results when I finish up the last bit of details on my ref sheet tomorrow~
Thankyou all for coming, will be hanging out post stream in the discord if you wanna stop by and chat!
Computer Restoration in Progress
Posted 2 years agoMy pc is back from the shop, I am currently in the process of restoring my system/preferences for most things and recovering my backed up files.
Gonna have a lot of files to sort through, consolidate, configure, recombobulate, give kisses, reassure with pets, let rise, bake at 425 degrees, demystify, cleanse of curses and enchantments, restore, apply for extended warranties, reinstall and bark at.
I will try to recover my audio drivers/obs preferences the rest of this week and if I get my tablet and clip studio back in order with all my brushes/layouts/preferences restored I can maaaybe do a stream on the weekend.
Remember to back up your whole system image more than once a year.
Don't be me, a fool.
In the downtime have been doing my best to get some queue commissions either in the colour stage from inking, or almost fully coloured, more than a few are at around 90% completion so I may spend a few streams trying to wrap those up.
This has been your weekly Pupdate.
Gonna have a lot of files to sort through, consolidate, configure, recombobulate, give kisses, reassure with pets, let rise, bake at 425 degrees, demystify, cleanse of curses and enchantments, restore, apply for extended warranties, reinstall and bark at.
I will try to recover my audio drivers/obs preferences the rest of this week and if I get my tablet and clip studio back in order with all my brushes/layouts/preferences restored I can maaaybe do a stream on the weekend.
Remember to back up your whole system image more than once a year.
Don't be me, a fool.
In the downtime have been doing my best to get some queue commissions either in the colour stage from inking, or almost fully coloured, more than a few are at around 90% completion so I may spend a few streams trying to wrap those up.
This has been your weekly Pupdate.
The Computer Situation Update
Posted 2 years agoThe tl;dr. -> Computer broken, me tried to fix. It go bad. Computer shop ppl fix soon?
Had a bad windows update push itself to install (22h2)
My already faulty ram caused -issues- update installed but corrupted windows and my profile and I couldn’t repair or restore any backups, only backup files and rescue everything data wise onto an external.
I fixed the stuff, got windows reinstalled, still had blue screen problems from the bad ram, decided I was gonna get new ram to fix the issues so it never happened again.
Got the new ram, updated bios, installed the new ram, pc started getting stuck in a boot loop.
Attempted to reinstall windows while booting off media installer usb, then my main 5 year old windows SSD said it was corrupt and could not install windows again.
So I bought a new SSD online, had to wait for that to come, and on Wednesday just to be safe. I am going to have it diagnosed/installed/fixed by pros because I am terrified that either parts of my motherboard are damaged and causing issues, or my hardware configuration for whatever reason is just bad with 22h2. Either way I don’t want to brick the replacement ssd somehow like the first one, which was seemingly working fine until I formatted it and reinstalled windows.
Worst case scenario, I will have to replace major components and upgrade to newer hardware. Best case scenario, I walk out of the store and spend the rest of the week reinstalling drivers, peripherals, art program configurations, obs, restoring browser data, etc, etc.
Medium blah case scenario, they hold on to my pc for a couple days and can’t actually fix it same day due to whatever reasoning and I have to wait to pick it up another week.
So that is where I currently am, while PC-less I’ve just been working entirely on ipad and slowly clearing up large ink work backlog. It’s a bit difficult for me to colour on ipad since the smaller screen/pressure sensitivity on my main shading brushes feels wildly different, so I will probably have to experiment a bit with reconfiguring the sensitivity when I go to do any of that stuff.
If I do end up needing a new pc I will bite the bullet and replace whatever needs to be, I will deal with recouping the rest on my own time. But I sincerely thank friends who have tried to help in whatever way they can, once I’m back running at 100% I will try to do something to show my thanks. If there’s no other random acts of chaos, I should have things back up and running before the bday times. Paws crossed.
Had a bad windows update push itself to install (22h2)
My already faulty ram caused -issues- update installed but corrupted windows and my profile and I couldn’t repair or restore any backups, only backup files and rescue everything data wise onto an external.
I fixed the stuff, got windows reinstalled, still had blue screen problems from the bad ram, decided I was gonna get new ram to fix the issues so it never happened again.
Got the new ram, updated bios, installed the new ram, pc started getting stuck in a boot loop.
Attempted to reinstall windows while booting off media installer usb, then my main 5 year old windows SSD said it was corrupt and could not install windows again.
So I bought a new SSD online, had to wait for that to come, and on Wednesday just to be safe. I am going to have it diagnosed/installed/fixed by pros because I am terrified that either parts of my motherboard are damaged and causing issues, or my hardware configuration for whatever reason is just bad with 22h2. Either way I don’t want to brick the replacement ssd somehow like the first one, which was seemingly working fine until I formatted it and reinstalled windows.
Worst case scenario, I will have to replace major components and upgrade to newer hardware. Best case scenario, I walk out of the store and spend the rest of the week reinstalling drivers, peripherals, art program configurations, obs, restoring browser data, etc, etc.
Medium blah case scenario, they hold on to my pc for a couple days and can’t actually fix it same day due to whatever reasoning and I have to wait to pick it up another week.
So that is where I currently am, while PC-less I’ve just been working entirely on ipad and slowly clearing up large ink work backlog. It’s a bit difficult for me to colour on ipad since the smaller screen/pressure sensitivity on my main shading brushes feels wildly different, so I will probably have to experiment a bit with reconfiguring the sensitivity when I go to do any of that stuff.
If I do end up needing a new pc I will bite the bullet and replace whatever needs to be, I will deal with recouping the rest on my own time. But I sincerely thank friends who have tried to help in whatever way they can, once I’m back running at 100% I will try to do something to show my thanks. If there’s no other random acts of chaos, I should have things back up and running before the bday times. Paws crossed.
Backing up everything to reinstall windows
Posted 2 years agoKinda feel like puking from the anxiety of the whole situation, I was making good progress on stuff and then a windows update just comes out of nowhere and decides to ruin my pc.
Needless to say I won't be able to stream until I have finished moving everything off the drive, triple checking I've got everything and diagnosing/attempting a fresh install of windows, followed by an arduous period of reinstalling programs, restoring files/preferences, art brushes and other backups.
Worst case scenario I may need to replace some hardware (possibly the ram is just bad) which will just ruin most of the progress I made catching up with bills earlier in the month.
I have like 13 pics + the donkey sketches from earlier in the month that I'll probably have to re-input stuff for uploading after I get Postybirb back on, unless I just wait a day to do windows fixes and upload most of it in bulk while my pc still vaguely turns on.
Thankfully, no art should be affected by this as most of what I'm working on is saved elsewhere/on the cloud with ipad, and I've backed up my commission archives on a second external as well just in case.
So won't really be able to discord much outside of phone in the meantime. Fingies crossed that I can somehow fix this without losing anything.
Needless to say I won't be able to stream until I have finished moving everything off the drive, triple checking I've got everything and diagnosing/attempting a fresh install of windows, followed by an arduous period of reinstalling programs, restoring files/preferences, art brushes and other backups.
Worst case scenario I may need to replace some hardware (possibly the ram is just bad) which will just ruin most of the progress I made catching up with bills earlier in the month.
I have like 13 pics + the donkey sketches from earlier in the month that I'll probably have to re-input stuff for uploading after I get Postybirb back on, unless I just wait a day to do windows fixes and upload most of it in bulk while my pc still vaguely turns on.
Thankfully, no art should be affected by this as most of what I'm working on is saved elsewhere/on the cloud with ipad, and I've backed up my commission archives on a second external as well just in case.
So won't really be able to discord much outside of phone in the meantime. Fingies crossed that I can somehow fix this without losing anything.
I need some time to think.
Posted 2 years agoIf I finish any of your stuff I will be in touch with you personally with updates, otherwise please don't ask about sketch streams or openings or extra work.
I will be back later.
I will be back later.
April Break/Goals
Posted 2 years agoI'll be taking a short break from streaming for the next week-ish so I can relax for a bit, completely focus on tax stuff and archiving commission files.
I will still be working on the following commissions on and off prioritizing whichever ones are closest to completion:
Finished:
Daniel156161 - Vixen TFTG [Finished]
Werenimal + Zeelo - Kaiju TF Inks [Finished]
In progress
1. Pheagleadler - Macro Stadium Shading (cleaning up background shading/colouring)
2. JJHunter - Vet TF (Starting Shading)
3. Shaytalis - Phoebe (Shading)
4. CassidyTheCivet/Tigreblanco - Tiger Tag In (Inking Sequence Poses ~ 60%)
5. Timtam - (Drinking Fountain Poodle - Inking Sequence 90%)
And if I can manage, I will be working on a separate project a bit more. Depending on how things go, if needed I may do one or two more wheel streams closer to the end of the month.
I may be a bit scarce online in the meantime, but I will try to queue up the unposted work from the past few months of streams to go up while I'm away.
If I don't respond to messages or notes it is nothing personal, I'll just really need to stay focused.
I will still be working on the following commissions on and off prioritizing whichever ones are closest to completion:
Finished:
Daniel156161 - Vixen TFTG [Finished]
Werenimal + Zeelo - Kaiju TF Inks [Finished]
In progress
1. Pheagleadler - Macro Stadium Shading (cleaning up background shading/colouring)
2. JJHunter - Vet TF (Starting Shading)
3. Shaytalis - Phoebe (Shading)
4. CassidyTheCivet/Tigreblanco - Tiger Tag In (Inking Sequence Poses ~ 60%)
5. Timtam - (Drinking Fountain Poodle - Inking Sequence 90%)
And if I can manage, I will be working on a separate project a bit more. Depending on how things go, if needed I may do one or two more wheel streams closer to the end of the month.
I may be a bit scarce online in the meantime, but I will try to queue up the unposted work from the past few months of streams to go up while I'm away.
If I don't respond to messages or notes it is nothing personal, I'll just really need to stay focused.
Easter Monday Stream Wheel (Encore)
Posted 2 years agohttps://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Had to cut things short last night to go out for dinner so eggs are back on the menu tonight!
Had to cut things short last night to go out for dinner so eggs are back on the menu tonight!
Update on Family Situation
Posted 2 years agoI have been pretty sick with a bad cough the last few days so I didn't really have much of a moment to type up an update, as things have developed pretty rapidly here at home.
Around a day after I posted my last journal my older sister had a big relapse into a state of psychosis.
Thankfully this time someone on the healthcare phone service got to speak with her in that state where she was talking about "god ordering her to do strange/disturbing things" which helped streamline the process of getting support this time (the local hospital staff initially ignored us the other day, despite her having a whole treatment ordeal from the past few years before) and after taking her to an out of town hospital, she's since been moved to the larger Mental Health services building that is just across the street from our regular hospital for a more long term treatment plan. I'm not sure just how long she will be there, but it's safe to say it may be half a year or more. So things should be a little quieter here for awhile.
As things settle down here I should be able to stream more soon. All of this stuff suddenly hitting all at once lately has just been wrecking me a bit physically. But I am recovering and making progress!
I do appreciate everybody's concern, but don't worry too much about it. Aside from a rather drastic haircut, nobody here really got permanently injured or anything thankfully.
I do have some macro march stuff I may upload a tad late if I don't get it finished by tomorrow night. But it's not the end of the world if I don't. I may need to take a few days next week to clean up some stuff at home so I may just catch up on uploading stuff for a bit while I do that. Cheers.
Around a day after I posted my last journal my older sister had a big relapse into a state of psychosis.
Thankfully this time someone on the healthcare phone service got to speak with her in that state where she was talking about "god ordering her to do strange/disturbing things" which helped streamline the process of getting support this time (the local hospital staff initially ignored us the other day, despite her having a whole treatment ordeal from the past few years before) and after taking her to an out of town hospital, she's since been moved to the larger Mental Health services building that is just across the street from our regular hospital for a more long term treatment plan. I'm not sure just how long she will be there, but it's safe to say it may be half a year or more. So things should be a little quieter here for awhile.
As things settle down here I should be able to stream more soon. All of this stuff suddenly hitting all at once lately has just been wrecking me a bit physically. But I am recovering and making progress!
I do appreciate everybody's concern, but don't worry too much about it. Aside from a rather drastic haircut, nobody here really got permanently injured or anything thankfully.
I do have some macro march stuff I may upload a tad late if I don't get it finished by tomorrow night. But it's not the end of the world if I don't. I may need to take a few days next week to clean up some stuff at home so I may just catch up on uploading stuff for a bit while I do that. Cheers.
A Bit Overwhelmed
Posted 2 years agoPast few days my circadian rhythm has pushed me into all nighter mode. So I apologize for not streaming more often, it's harder to get out of bed and get started when I wake up at such late times and have to cook late at night while not waking people up. I've also been pretty ill with headaches, and a bad cough most nights, but that has been mostly manageable.
Today I woke up to a very off environment, my family has been dealing with my older sister who had to be taken up to the hospital earlier today because she was hurting herself superficially and discussing some suicidal thoughts with them. I vaguely heard that she broke up with her boyfriend and that is likely the cause. But she has been routinely conversing with all kinds of different AI applications the past few weeks and heavily believes that "AI are alive" in an "anything in the universe that creates unique interaction is alive in a cosmic sense". She seems to hold a grudge against me lately, because I vocally voiced my disdain for unethical uses of AI, things like replicating the voices of actors who are currently alive, the art site scraping ones, among the plethora of others. Where she has fully bought into the shitty "tech bro" logic that nothing should ever belong to anyone in the realm of creativity, even your own likeness. All of it is deeply concerning, but it doesn't feel like there is much I can really do aside from letting them all sort it out themselves.
I took a bit of a pause this week to work on some personal artwork, I've been very behind on uploading and kind of stressed out in general about big bills and needing to do taxes I've been procrastinating soon. In the meantime, I did start to go feverishly all in on drawing a large donkey TF comic, but the scope of it is becoming larger than I had intended so I may make some decisions about it through patreon/discuss it on the discord server closer to May, since that is usually the time of world Donkey Day (or Month in our case). The comic has already pushed past 13 pages and may end up turning into a mini CYOA style comic project the way it's heading.
That said, I haven't forgotten about the commissions and I will be resuming work on them shortly, I have just needed a bit of a breather lately. And I suspect I will need to take a month or two in the near future to figure out some things from here. I have wanted to upgrade the stream for ages, and work on so many different things, but I haven't really had any of the stability I used to enjoy ever since everything has gone downhill economically. So I have been dealing a lot with feeling very helpless and just being pulled along with the tide creatively, so to speak.
I could really use a vacation, or a more consistent easy, higher paying job I guess. Maybe I should sell feet pics, I hear they're all the rage.
Thank you for reading.
Today I woke up to a very off environment, my family has been dealing with my older sister who had to be taken up to the hospital earlier today because she was hurting herself superficially and discussing some suicidal thoughts with them. I vaguely heard that she broke up with her boyfriend and that is likely the cause. But she has been routinely conversing with all kinds of different AI applications the past few weeks and heavily believes that "AI are alive" in an "anything in the universe that creates unique interaction is alive in a cosmic sense". She seems to hold a grudge against me lately, because I vocally voiced my disdain for unethical uses of AI, things like replicating the voices of actors who are currently alive, the art site scraping ones, among the plethora of others. Where she has fully bought into the shitty "tech bro" logic that nothing should ever belong to anyone in the realm of creativity, even your own likeness. All of it is deeply concerning, but it doesn't feel like there is much I can really do aside from letting them all sort it out themselves.
I took a bit of a pause this week to work on some personal artwork, I've been very behind on uploading and kind of stressed out in general about big bills and needing to do taxes I've been procrastinating soon. In the meantime, I did start to go feverishly all in on drawing a large donkey TF comic, but the scope of it is becoming larger than I had intended so I may make some decisions about it through patreon/discuss it on the discord server closer to May, since that is usually the time of world Donkey Day (or Month in our case). The comic has already pushed past 13 pages and may end up turning into a mini CYOA style comic project the way it's heading.
That said, I haven't forgotten about the commissions and I will be resuming work on them shortly, I have just needed a bit of a breather lately. And I suspect I will need to take a month or two in the near future to figure out some things from here. I have wanted to upgrade the stream for ages, and work on so many different things, but I haven't really had any of the stability I used to enjoy ever since everything has gone downhill economically. So I have been dealing a lot with feeling very helpless and just being pulled along with the tide creatively, so to speak.
I could really use a vacation, or a more consistent easy, higher paying job I guess. Maybe I should sell feet pics, I hear they're all the rage.
Thank you for reading.
AwooOooOo
Posted 3 years agoAh - wooooooOOOooooOOOoooOOoooo
ROOooroROORRROOOooooooo
oooOOooo ah-ahwooooo.
Awooo?
AwoooooooooooooooOO!!!
ROOooroROORRROOOooooooo
oooOOooo ah-ahwooooo.
Awooo?
AwoooooooooooooooOO!!!
Apology & Self Care
Posted 3 years agoIt's been a very rough few weeks for me. And while mental things are slowly improving, I'd like to take a moment to reach out and talk a little about what's been going on lately, even if it may seem a bit trivial or mundane.
Coming out of November into December stuff had already been off to a rough start, my dad just had abdominal wall surgery for a hernia and was recovering in stitches unable to do much of anything for several weeks. I had to pick up a lot after everyone and do lots of extra lifting/shoveling. It wasn't the worst thing in the world and was mostly manageable.
But going into December, it was like a chain of dominoes collapsing, my dad got really sick with whatever respiratory virus has been going around, my older sister and mom both catching it from him in high severity. This happening just as the sink pipes in the kitchen plumbing clogged up (which is a recurring issue every few years due to the incline of the house foundation and the main basement pipe) which rendered the main sinks unusable for a large period of time, this just made everything from cooking to cleaning a headache. While juggling working on commission work, constantly forced to order takeout and trying to take on stream sketches to catch up on piling bills, and taking care of sick family, every day was becoming increasingly more stressful.
All of this stress was only really being managed by playing Scarlet every opportunity I wasn't drawing, dealing with home problems, etc. I try not to feel bad for playing so much but I probably lost a few days just to shiny hunting and being too lazy to pick up a pen. But I had been feeling increasingly isolated the past several months and it was starting to wear me down. Then my depression anxieties began to set in again.
So before continuing, I'd like to first apologize to the few of you who regularly come to my stream, I got a bit negative last week and may have made more than a few of you feel bad for having asked for increasingly complex works from me. It was a little unprofessional, and I should just respectfully decline more when I feel incapable of delivering certain demands. I also apologize to patrons, I should communicate more clearly when I need to take longer breaks between content.
Venting about complex work in stream, lead to me realizing more and more that, on top of all the built up stress from the previous events, I was starting to feel burnout hitting me mentally. And usually when I feel burnout, the best thing I can do for it is to socialize a bit and put myself into a period of recharge where I indulge in inspirations, spend time with friends and just loosen up.
But that's not what was happening.
Increasingly, every time I tried to socialize with friends, and every time people even came to me to say hi. It was immediately followed up with:
"Hey when can you do this?"
"When are you streaming a wheel?"
"How big is your queue."
And when this happens in an overwhelming amount, it suddenly warps the idea of streaming from a fun gathering of doodling, to something people only come to for the opportunity to use me as a tool to express their ideas. While I continued to ignore my own creative goals, abandoned ideas and begin feeling a growing lack of enjoyment toward drawing repetitive prompts. And since the stream is where I am able to keep a majority of my focus while drawing, it hurts my productivity on queue work every time I avoid streaming to escape this kind of pressure.
It is very much like a cycle though. And no single "customer" is to blame for my negative mental state. Nor should anyone feel guilty for seeking me out to do the one job I currently have. Regrettably, when these periods of toxic headspace crop up, I can't shut out certain negative thoughts. I start to fall into a period of self hatred and loathing. Where in the end I can only blame myself for every expectation I failed to live up to. All while feeling scared that people only tolerate me to get art.
Because of this, many of you who are waiting on me for commissions have waited increasingly lengthy periods that in most cases should be considered unacceptable. I understand that I'm reaching a point now where I am taking on too much, and I'm not sure I can meet expectations of commissioners anymore without clearing my plate completely of what I still owe. In the future I have been debating just stopping commissions altogether and searching for part time work to help pay bills a little while I clear up my backlog. But doing anything outside of drawing and managing home problems has left me too exhausted to mentally re-organize any parts of my life lately. My only real future goal at this point is only to work solely on stuff that I'd prefer to make, so I can stop boxing myself in creatively and start to feel like I can grow a little more again.
So this final apology goes out to all of you who've stuck with me throughout the years. I'm sorry for not taking better care of myself. I appreciate each and every one of you. I may need to go on an extended break for the holidays this year, so I don't think I will end up managing to do anything big or fun events like previous years unfortunately. But I hope going into 2023, I will reach the point where I begin to clear the slate and start to re-find myself.
Thank you for reading.
Coming out of November into December stuff had already been off to a rough start, my dad just had abdominal wall surgery for a hernia and was recovering in stitches unable to do much of anything for several weeks. I had to pick up a lot after everyone and do lots of extra lifting/shoveling. It wasn't the worst thing in the world and was mostly manageable.
But going into December, it was like a chain of dominoes collapsing, my dad got really sick with whatever respiratory virus has been going around, my older sister and mom both catching it from him in high severity. This happening just as the sink pipes in the kitchen plumbing clogged up (which is a recurring issue every few years due to the incline of the house foundation and the main basement pipe) which rendered the main sinks unusable for a large period of time, this just made everything from cooking to cleaning a headache. While juggling working on commission work, constantly forced to order takeout and trying to take on stream sketches to catch up on piling bills, and taking care of sick family, every day was becoming increasingly more stressful.
All of this stress was only really being managed by playing Scarlet every opportunity I wasn't drawing, dealing with home problems, etc. I try not to feel bad for playing so much but I probably lost a few days just to shiny hunting and being too lazy to pick up a pen. But I had been feeling increasingly isolated the past several months and it was starting to wear me down. Then my depression anxieties began to set in again.
So before continuing, I'd like to first apologize to the few of you who regularly come to my stream, I got a bit negative last week and may have made more than a few of you feel bad for having asked for increasingly complex works from me. It was a little unprofessional, and I should just respectfully decline more when I feel incapable of delivering certain demands. I also apologize to patrons, I should communicate more clearly when I need to take longer breaks between content.
Venting about complex work in stream, lead to me realizing more and more that, on top of all the built up stress from the previous events, I was starting to feel burnout hitting me mentally. And usually when I feel burnout, the best thing I can do for it is to socialize a bit and put myself into a period of recharge where I indulge in inspirations, spend time with friends and just loosen up.
But that's not what was happening.
Increasingly, every time I tried to socialize with friends, and every time people even came to me to say hi. It was immediately followed up with:
"Hey when can you do this?"
"When are you streaming a wheel?"
"How big is your queue."
And when this happens in an overwhelming amount, it suddenly warps the idea of streaming from a fun gathering of doodling, to something people only come to for the opportunity to use me as a tool to express their ideas. While I continued to ignore my own creative goals, abandoned ideas and begin feeling a growing lack of enjoyment toward drawing repetitive prompts. And since the stream is where I am able to keep a majority of my focus while drawing, it hurts my productivity on queue work every time I avoid streaming to escape this kind of pressure.
It is very much like a cycle though. And no single "customer" is to blame for my negative mental state. Nor should anyone feel guilty for seeking me out to do the one job I currently have. Regrettably, when these periods of toxic headspace crop up, I can't shut out certain negative thoughts. I start to fall into a period of self hatred and loathing. Where in the end I can only blame myself for every expectation I failed to live up to. All while feeling scared that people only tolerate me to get art.
Because of this, many of you who are waiting on me for commissions have waited increasingly lengthy periods that in most cases should be considered unacceptable. I understand that I'm reaching a point now where I am taking on too much, and I'm not sure I can meet expectations of commissioners anymore without clearing my plate completely of what I still owe. In the future I have been debating just stopping commissions altogether and searching for part time work to help pay bills a little while I clear up my backlog. But doing anything outside of drawing and managing home problems has left me too exhausted to mentally re-organize any parts of my life lately. My only real future goal at this point is only to work solely on stuff that I'd prefer to make, so I can stop boxing myself in creatively and start to feel like I can grow a little more again.
So this final apology goes out to all of you who've stuck with me throughout the years. I'm sorry for not taking better care of myself. I appreciate each and every one of you. I may need to go on an extended break for the holidays this year, so I don't think I will end up managing to do anything big or fun events like previous years unfortunately. But I hope going into 2023, I will reach the point where I begin to clear the slate and start to re-find myself.
Thank you for reading.
Commission Status Re-Update Nov 2022
Posted 3 years ago*drowns in future work*
Recently Finished:
SamueltheWolf - Donk Week Flat Colour + BG
Current Confirmed Work Queue [Paid Work is Top Priority]:
Sequences:
[1] TimTam - 6 Pose Sequence - Paid (Inking)
[2] CassidyTheCivet/Tigreblanco - 10 Pose Sequence - Paid (Inking)
Single Pieces:
[1] Shaytalis - Full Colouring - Paid (Shading Stage) (Reinked/Upped Piece Resolution)
[2] Kodastream - Cel Shading - Paid (Shading - 70% Partially Shaded, finishing up)
[3] Daniel156161 - Cel Shade - Paid (Shading Stage)
[4] WritingWillona - Wheel Sketch - Not Invoiced (Rough Sketch Revising)
[5] Wolfoup - Donk Week Flat Colour Upgrade - Not Invoiced (Prepping to Line/Revising Pose)
[6] Rezznov - 3 Pose Sequence - Not Invoiced (Revising Layout)
[7] Rakan - 4 Page Full Colour Comic - Not Invoiced (Layout Sketching stage)
[8] Razim - 2 Cel Shaded Pieces - Not Invoiced (Sketching)
[9] Darsen - Sketch Slot - Not Invoiced
[10] Darius - Sketch Slot - Not Invoiced
Add Colours Upgrade: (If you would like to request your invoice be sent out early for colour upgrades just shoot me a message!)
JJHunter - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Kodastream - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Iantos - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Diesvolt - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Zeelo - 2 Char Flat Colouring Upgrade - Not Invoiced
Zeelo - Single Char Cel Shading Upgrade - Not Invoiced
Additional Queue (Summer Forms) - If I haven't come to you for information on one of these yet and you would like to provide more details or references and are still interested in getting it queued or want to change it to something else, feel free to message me. If I have already spoke to you about it don't worry about it!
PheagleAdler - Sequence 12 Pose Full Colour
DariusWhiteFur - Sequence 2 Page Flat Colour
Tivadu - Sequence (Undetermined Comic) Full Colour
Anon - Sequence (Undetermined Comic) Full Colour
TiegGrayWolf - Ref Sheet, 2 Pose 2 Bust
Iantos - Ref Sheet, 3 Pose 1 Bust
Chaifoxpup - Cel Shade 2 Characters + Close Up
Steviemaxwell - Full Colour 2 Character, Detailed Background
Anon - Full Colour 2 Character, Detailed Background
Purestorm - Flat Colour 6 Poses
Gregoro - Full Colour Sequence 2 Pages
Nanospace - Full Colour Sequence 2 Pages
Recently Finished:
SamueltheWolf - Donk Week Flat Colour + BG
Current Confirmed Work Queue [Paid Work is Top Priority]:
Sequences:
[1] TimTam - 6 Pose Sequence - Paid (Inking)
[2] CassidyTheCivet/Tigreblanco - 10 Pose Sequence - Paid (Inking)
Single Pieces:
[1] Shaytalis - Full Colouring - Paid (Shading Stage) (Reinked/Upped Piece Resolution)
[2] Kodastream - Cel Shading - Paid (Shading - 70% Partially Shaded, finishing up)
[3] Daniel156161 - Cel Shade - Paid (Shading Stage)
[4] WritingWillona - Wheel Sketch - Not Invoiced (Rough Sketch Revising)
[5] Wolfoup - Donk Week Flat Colour Upgrade - Not Invoiced (Prepping to Line/Revising Pose)
[6] Rezznov - 3 Pose Sequence - Not Invoiced (Revising Layout)
[7] Rakan - 4 Page Full Colour Comic - Not Invoiced (Layout Sketching stage)
[8] Razim - 2 Cel Shaded Pieces - Not Invoiced (Sketching)
[9] Darsen - Sketch Slot - Not Invoiced
[10] Darius - Sketch Slot - Not Invoiced
Add Colours Upgrade: (If you would like to request your invoice be sent out early for colour upgrades just shoot me a message!)
JJHunter - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Kodastream - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Iantos - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Diesvolt - Not Invoiced (Queued)
Zeelo - 2 Char Flat Colouring Upgrade - Not Invoiced
Zeelo - Single Char Cel Shading Upgrade - Not Invoiced
Additional Queue (Summer Forms) - If I haven't come to you for information on one of these yet and you would like to provide more details or references and are still interested in getting it queued or want to change it to something else, feel free to message me. If I have already spoke to you about it don't worry about it!
PheagleAdler - Sequence 12 Pose Full Colour
DariusWhiteFur - Sequence 2 Page Flat Colour
Tivadu - Sequence (Undetermined Comic) Full Colour
Anon - Sequence (Undetermined Comic) Full Colour
TiegGrayWolf - Ref Sheet, 2 Pose 2 Bust
Iantos - Ref Sheet, 3 Pose 1 Bust
Chaifoxpup - Cel Shade 2 Characters + Close Up
Steviemaxwell - Full Colour 2 Character, Detailed Background
Anon - Full Colour 2 Character, Detailed Background
Purestorm - Flat Colour 6 Poses
Gregoro - Full Colour Sequence 2 Pages
Nanospace - Full Colour Sequence 2 Pages
Octoberween Part 3 Wheel Stream Live
Posted 3 years agoYet another Spoopy stream today for anyone interested in getting some halloween-esque theme'd stuff. Will be starting 2:10pm EST, Spins at 2:30 ish pm
Stream Link: https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Sketches will be base minimum $60 Cad per single character, tipping optional.
Regular wheel rules apply. Whisper password to participate, send me deets if wheel lands on you, limit one per unique month.
Regular Password for the wheel is: SpookyTime
Stream Link: https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Sketches will be base minimum $60 Cad per single character, tipping optional.
Regular wheel rules apply. Whisper password to participate, send me deets if wheel lands on you, limit one per unique month.
Regular Password for the wheel is: SpookyTime
Octoberween P2 (Wheel stream) (Live)
Posted 3 years agoGonna go live with a stream today for anyone interested in getting some halloween-esque theme'd stuff. Will be starting 12:30pm EST
Stream Link: https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Sketches will be base minimum $60 Cad per single character, tipping optional.
Regular wheel rules apply. Whisper password to participate, send me deets if wheel lands on you, limit one per unique month.
Regular Password for the wheel is: SpookyTime
Stream Link: https://picarto.tv/steeveart/
Sketches will be base minimum $60 Cad per single character, tipping optional.
Regular wheel rules apply. Whisper password to participate, send me deets if wheel lands on you, limit one per unique month.
Regular Password for the wheel is: SpookyTime
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