http://www.psychicguild.com/horosco.....hp?sign=Pisces

The Rising Sign in astrology dictates how you're seen by other people, in my case, I'm seen in a very piscean form, your moon is your emotions towards people and yourself, the inner you, that's Aquarius, my sun is Capricorn, that's where my high practicality comes from. :)

Thought it was fascinating to show people, obviously my personality can be a big mix of all of these! I'm cusping aquarius too, that means my sun sign can seem like Aquarius sometimes and Capricorn at others, as I slowly have 4 years now to take on the life of a Aquarian in my role to save the world or whatever. xxx

Love you all, even if I say mean things, it's just like the description says: I see reality the way I want to see it. This can make you a dreamer and controller of your life and how you want it!

Ever felt like, perhaps you've stepped into a place you shouldn't have, perhaps it shouldn't have been there. I mean, we all believe in the supernatural and if not, there is something always there doing something to cause what is associated right?

Imagine getting into meditation, now, seeing the spiritual world, now, you see the devil playing a organ inside your mind, in other words, I've realized I've had some pretty insane inner demons haunt me for 5 years now, causing me deliria and depression unlike I could ever know. A dark place occured at 13 years old, the loss of my father, I ended up crawling into such a dark place, the devil wandered in to play tricks on me. Quite literally anyway, it was a haunting.

Alot of people would think I'm crazy right now, but more or less, this is a art site for petes sake. Get a grip. I'm not dead or dying or anything. But I think it's interesting to know what occurs psychologically sometimes. Something went on my brain for years now. I didn't see the light of day for weeks. Alot of people used to say I was depressed and down but I never felt a thing, I just felt life was interesting in a associated life of my own.

I know some of you care out there otherwise, and I'm thankful, doesn't mean I'm grabbing attention, but I'd like to let alot of associated folks know, my head is fixed. I had a fight with the devil using spiritual techniques and manoveurs. I had a fight with this insane feeling of a closeness to people taken too far.

However, alot of people tell me I got problems but don't let me solve them and prove it. It's funny really. It's like they can't see a change in others or give others a second chance. Excuse much? Yeah. But eh, it's western society. Who's to trust? Most of you don't even trust your emotions anyway, you're probably squaring me off and opinionating me right now. Am I scared? Nope. I have proof to write this.

But I think it's funny how life occurs around this bend, always some mix up with a band or a fluctuation in the brain, Our whole lives are dependent on our thoughts. Don't wash enough and then it's really a bug from something you ate.

Indecisive people I can't really help so I think I would be the retributor here to say I did fix myself. Shame certain people can't see that though, because spiritual practices save monks from all sorts of trouble, but my ways are doubted.

Otherwise. A cry out to some friends and people I know, but also a reasoning, a realization, a fascination with how psychology works at best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqGnsP4wOf0

Wherever you are. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLSVgBd9ypA

Reality is a fuck up when you're between total deliria and reality, but now I'm making the best of both to see the reality of everything that should be for mankind.

I'm between quitting and giving it all, all or nothing...

I want you baby.

17 years, of living in the equilivant of a mental asylum
But look what it's given me, total freedom
Total power over my life
They say I'm insane, east meets west in my head
The devil's been whispering in my ear
To condone all that I fear
Onto you

I still love you now, I still love you like then
But I've been insane baby, the devil's been on my brain again
He's got a clutch on your heart, making you thinking the worse of me
Just like me, just like me

But we'll be together baby, don't you mind, don't you cry
I've been going insane all the time
But it was worth it for you, all for you
And only you

I need no one else, without you, no one else is worth it
You're what I want here in my heart, you always were
Ever since I met you, it's like a dream come true
I know you still love me in there

[chorus]
Love me again, love me more
You'll see the light like me
Devil's got a grip on you but you'll get free
The future will be with us baby

No one can take you away
The devil's where you're pumping blood but like bats he'll fly away
I still love you
I still love you
[chorus end]

[bridge]
The end is coming
Oh the end is coming tonight
You won't be scared, underprepared
Tonight, tonight, tonight

Destroy the urn that holds you
Break this demon in two
I know the real you, don't lie, don't lie
I know the real you
[bridge]

chorus]
Love me again, love me more
You'll see the light like me
Devil's got a grip on you but you'll get free
The future will be with us baby

No one can take you away
The devil's where you're pumping blood but like bats he'll fly away
I still love you
I still love you
[chorus end]

You can feel anything, steal emotions like a thief
I'm the one left with all the beef
Whilst you laugh in my face and say a mean word
To emotions I flip the bird

I'm a Capricorn, leaving life, to never feel anything is my curse
To feel anything is the forbidden rule, I'm first
To notice all the beauty and sense in mankind
But you're so spellbound, you can't see the time

So my little brother, what do you do
You're so charming, everyone runs for you
Snuggles your head tight and kisses you goodnight
I'm the one left whilst you laugh in alligator tears
Capricorn, responsible and like a stone
After all these years

You don't know responsibility like I do
You don't know me very well at all
But they must think it's so fun, to point the finger
And never see me run

Because I'm a Capricorn
It's how it's meant to be
You're a slave to hate and anything really
Until there is nothing left but pure ground
Whilst Cancers run off and enjoy the town
With their friends, so real to behold
They call me stone cold
I'm a Capricorn, responsible Capricorn

To feel anything at all, is to break the first law
Of nature, to feel is fate, to die is nice
Fearing death is something, you can fly a kite

Love is a respect to me, but I can't think it'll last very long
Everything ends, and everything is gone
Why do I have this heart? I just don't know
It's yours to stamp on, wherever you go

And I can't help it
I can't help but see
Nothing ever really comes this clearly
But to feel anything is truth, but for you I must cry
Forget all your tears, your alibis

I'm a Capricorn, responsible Capricorn

Atleast I'm not crying..
If atleast for too long...
Atleast I'm not crying..
If atleast for too long..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyeliBNmT8g

Edit: Tonight, I'll like to rejoice, for all that have ever been hurt by me, by me even feeling for me so much sympathy, so much love, I want to disconnect all emotions from everyone and everything... to never make that mistake again of ever feeling anything...

So thus is my existence... so thus is my fate... to never feel anything... to be but a doll... atleast this way... no regrets...

Edit edit: This too assuredly enough...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&a.....ture=endscreen

Haha, the curse of life, to feel anything is bad... hahaha... imagine a existence like that?

Always feels like one... I think this is fate. I'm not meant to be loved and I'm not meant to love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyeliBNmT8g

Leaving someone

Talking down to someone because they spoke down to you

Actually having freedom and expressing it

Speaking the truth of the situation

Speaking about life

Messing up

Rationalizing things that are complete truth

I just don't get it anymore. But this seemingly goes on, over and over. It actually happens on this website too. A call for someone to see a psychologist much for these people who seemingly degrade and destroy my life? Hell yeah. This is all I've done that's seemingly wrong in their eyes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MYbmIxzer8

Maybe it'll be better if you guys felt this?

Douches:

First thing they talk about is demselves, and it's nothing posatiiiiiive!

First thing they complain about is life!

Somehow, they always notice it's raining, not sunny!

Right? So you think they need saving. Nooooo, you deserve better baby!

Goodiebags:

Immediately always smiling!

Notice you're in the room!

Very warm, pleasant and frank with their opinion!

Lively people who make you laugh and make jokes about life! 83

Fuckya'llcauseI'mthebestularity

Fuck'emallcausethey'redumbularity

I'mspecialandyou'renotularity

83

About me? Nah. I'm not the one bragging about how many friends I got! If I did that, I think I oughtta put them in collectors edition boxes on shelves, don't you?

Totally unpopular and loving life! But damn, best way to be! Look at all the freedom I geeeet! Freedom to be meeeeh!

Oh yeah, and to you guys who think I'm sad about anything you said or did? About how fucking shit I am, I should get a life? Right, here it is straight from the hip!

I ain't the one desperate to climb a mountain and spoil myself with something I don't need, don't you? Nah, I ain't rich, but I know how to use my brain to think I already got that mountain in my backyard! Total appreciation for life, because high or low, it's all the same for everyone!

Right, so everyone hates me and no one loves me too? Well, heres the thing, I ain't a kid begging for attention. You kinda grow out of wanting emotions, you know? Feelings? People around you? You're mad because all you're staring at is someone like you right? Right? Right! But you people were right in the end! I didn't need ya! Thanks for all the hate! Happier than ever chasing something I just don't neeed!

Aaaayeeee!

To all my fans and friends! The truth is! Don't chase something you don't need! You're the motherfucking shogun! The best, let no one tell you different! You are god and whatever you want to be and your life is a dream you can make whatever you want!

Remember this too! When you're honest, you're just easy to judge! But don't let them get in your way! Praise and love yourself! You are god! You're your own god! Without what you want, you are nothing! Chase the messages of your heart! Yeah, like a manipulator would tell you that? Eh? Oh right, you're history. Sorry. I'm retracing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hF-swfkXw00

:D

Like, why man? Attention?

Celebrating!! This is the song we sang together when it was raining one day, when the door was wide open in his attachment to my house ( basically a little house integrated, and we just started singing this song with Luke singing first verse, then me and just followed like that.

With how Luke was, one of the best moments of my life, he's awesome. :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHZ9jh7IhkU

To our Nirvana love Luke!

because I'm honest, and honest people are deliciously consistent. People can pick on you because they know you.

But fuck it, I'm gonna keep being this way because it's so damn gooood.

People are selfish, backstabbing, people pleasing, self centred and liars by nature, but why oh why, do we have it people care for us? Why do we even have the sympathetic fucking cortext for such a sick disgusting self centred species that would rather suck itself off and believe in fantasies?

Why is it people are owned and possessed? Why is it instead of a baby considered a new life, it's considered like a thing to hold? 'My baby, my son' my this, my that, and when the dad and mom split up, the child is carried around like a fucking ragdoll?

I feel for no one and nothing anymore. I'd prefer actually if no one felt for me, even sympathized, pitied or advised me. I answer to no one now. I give nothing to no one, I give nothing back of the things I don't want.

People are fucking pathetic disgusting narcissistic assholes, why the fuck does this disgusting sickening species exist? You're fucking sick. Why the fuck did God make something like you?

Honestly, I'm being honest. Why? Why such a disgusting species? Aren't we meant to be above animals but we lie to each other and deceive each other? We lie to ourselves? We're meant to be the ones who take care of the planet and actually have a cerebral fucking cortex, but we're so fucking dumb and immature!

But damn, I think people we're just set up for chaos really. We're all so fucking stupid, we probably will blow the planet up because we're so fucking thick.

Is to think you already have it, right here, right now.

That kindness is only as delicate as ones own.

Love is not a need. It is simply part of your imagination.

Feeling for anything makes nothing.

For every man that points a finger, in his heart, a pain will linger.

Pitiful people only cry for whats inside of themselves.

This life has made me invincible. When you accept yourself, it will for you too.

The key is not how soft someone is, it's not even how delicate you are, because the soft can be so beautiful but all that beauty only exists until you crave so much to realize it won't always exist.

Don't crave people. Crave life and yourself.

Don't tell me to love you. Love yourself.

People don't think of what you've done, so stop giving.

Selfishness is the true way of the world.

Where people see negativity, I see wonderous beauty and transformation.

Every night you cried about me and yourself, I was smiling. Get used to it.

How much you want someone to die is how much you want to die in yourself.

Don't give, only receive. You are God, you are the king, jesus christ almighty, you are the one who should be loved, not others.

You are the king of your own world. You are the maker and executioner of everything.

Speak of wrongs, not what should be right.

Every night you thought I didn't care, is only every second wasted.

It takes a man to figure out what I'm saying. Not a choir boy.

You will live alone in this life, crave the love of others, and then realize what you felt was so much of nothing.

People don't feel for you. Only themselves.

Don't satisfy, pacify yourself.

Everytime you thought I was crying, lonely as hell and dying, I came across a solution, to save my own life, goodbye to all, and fuck your lives.

Doctors didn't save me. I did.

This world is lonely and cold. Shut the hell up already.

Feeling for someone is only as depleted as you see yourself.

This stuff is deep, but that's only because I made myself full of a deep well of beauty and love and wisdom.

Feel for nothing. Save yourself and forget everything.

For every justice you threw on me, for every sickness you conceived, for every time you saw me cry, and sang your alibis, I got strong and off my feet, your tears are so motherfucking weak. Don't give me tears, don't give me love, save yourself, you're a star above.

Don't think you're happy because you're gentle, because the real way is to be hard on the inside and soft on the out.

For every time you felt love, stood on me because you felt free, I got up and walked on, to become the man, that adores his own song.

Those sweet times with people are but memories. You only need yourself. For every time you reminisced and felt appreciative, too many times was I just trying to save myself.

Don't save others. Others do it faster with themselves.

WE ARE FAMILY.

Alot of people ask me, or tell me, that I'm a manipulator, a liar, a thief, someone seemingly lower than nothing or seemingly so pathetic I can barely 'win' at life at how they seemingly brag about themselves like I'm competition, or they're equilivant to kings whilst I'm some retarded pauper on the street.

Yes, we've all felt like that.

Seemingly, people are very very very extremely opinionated. We've got to take that on the chin. However, this is the future folks. Things must be done and said.

So I wanted to say basically, thank you all, the ones who've stayed with me these long years. To the friends who trusted and remained loyal because when I was on my low about making friends on the net, you guys stood thick and thin by me.

But heres the truth: I'm not really a manipulator. I'm just not stupid.

Over the years, for a duration of 5 years, I've been called this incessant freak and scumbag who people can barely understand, I'm called so many things it makes you wonder about the future. Like the goat himself in Astrology, I'm everyone's favourite scapegoatee seemingly.

The truth is. I'm simply not thick. I distrusted and left people out of the value I simply didn't trust them. If I was a manipulator, the lack of proof would be this:

1. What did I take from you?

2. What time purposefully did you give to me? When did you say you cared about me or even gave me attention? What time really did I take from you other than a choice of my intuition and insecurities about life that made such so?

3. How did I manipulate you? How did I lie? How am I worser than anyone or life itself? How am I scum really, when all we did is talk, and I never really told you anything about me?

4. I'm simply a guy on the internet, yet you talk about my rejection like I am simply not to be trusted to all your friends. Precisely what makes you believe because I left one person, I will leave the other? I left you particularly because I trusted my feelings at the time, yet, you've taken seemingly my rejection as something to doubt me with altogether.

5. I am just a person, to be honest, I would just as easily forgive with everyone with no thought of our bad past if you simply forgave me for being wrong about you, yet you insist I'm some faker.

6. Why the fuck should I trust everyone on the internet after a typical life of being mistreated and lied to? Why should I be as thick and stupid as fuck to trust literally fucking everyone and be seemingly this extremely loyal guy? What possibly am I getting out of trusting blindly and what am I getting out of not trusting my intuition?

7. Friends to be trusted are those I feel should be trusted. If I don't trust you, then simply so we're not meant to be. If your friends are mad simply because I don't trust you, or my friends are mad because I left some friend. Know I did it out of a fair and innocent purpose.

8. Simply put. I'm not a fool. After this lifetime of fucking bullshit, you actually do start to get hell of alot wiser. I can see alot of people put up their 'loyalty' like it's a flag, but then, why the fuck am I going to be always as stupid as that when I'm aware not everyone seemingly is going to bring me flowers? It's called wisdom and past experience mate, not fucking manipulation.

9. If you're sad about me not trusting your friends. Fuck you, it don't matter, simply you haven't felt what I felt or never will.

Now, onward to the 'drama', simply put, I gave people the smack they did to me. I gave people back the trouble they gave, and to be fair, in your life this is always going to be so. If you treat people like shit, you will be treated like shit.

People trusted their feelings more about you and not opinionated comments or gossip spread about you? Don't you wish their trusted their feelings more on who you are and not just hearsay or thoughts about you?

Yeah. I wish too.

There is no good and bad people, only men and man, all the same, family, all with the same love and same brain.

It kinda feels sometimes like here in the west world, people can severely hate weakness in others sometimes. To the point of leaving you, debauchery of yourself and far more.

But then I can only think the hate for someone is only as strong as the love feelings were for them.

But I feel down... I feel... like I'm a deadline constantly. Like I have to fix things super fucking fast. I have to fix emotions, myself, so extremely fucking fast like I'm at work or something; somehow I think I'm starting to notice old habits die hard. I'm trying not to fix myself from self delusion, apathy, depression, and well, it all feels so fast. I desperately want this relationship and I'm trying to fix myself so fucking fast, but my whole life feels like that.

I really do want friends to really give me time on myself, realize, I have and am insecure in ways I don't like to admit. I like to think I am the confident stoic guy but there is a heart in here. I feel people really need to be more patient to be my friend...