So, ok, let's get one thing straight. Some people won't take politely to this from what I understand, but alright...

You know, I just think my whole life, I've taken things on the chin. Like, I've been a light hearted again about everything. Not really sure of myself now though, but I think there is some very serious people out there.

I've not been the most... cooperative person. It's simply, you know, when you think someone is seemingly so good, you go right in there? I'm 20 now, but that kinda naivety followed me I think for many years now. It's led into my 20s and well, it's like one of those times in your life when you wonder if you'd ever be the same again.

You know, some people rowl and stuff, go mad, but then, some people I think just go to extremes. I mean, I don't know why, I think I'm a developed person who has dealt with the earth for 20 years and survived, it just makes me look like a freak half the time though. They seriously gossip alot, you know?

I dunno what is wrong to be honest with these people. I get confused as hell about them. Since I was young I was called this robot and stuff, very madly aggressive, but then I met this really weird ass brother who thinks it's polite to wake you up at 11am, threaten and beat you up if you didn't do something wrong, and well, hold your mouth from time to time and well, you get all this pent up aggression because that state of mind becomes traumatic when you become his punching bag and not allowed to tell your mother or anyone of anything or he'll murder you or something.

So I'm a pretty precarious guy. Life has made me this way. Y'know, it's not funny sitting on the end of a seat whilst your balls are about to hit rubber, y'know? Going kinda fast there. Ok, please stop now?

So I dunno if I'm writing this journal 'saaaaane' but let's get to the point. Accusative people. I dunno about them, I just think, y'know, I was like this kid once who was all calm and stuff at 15. I had traumatic stress disorder and blocked a few people online, but I was that kid, y'know, who was normal and calm? Like a very friendly guy?

Then something happened, I met this guy. Something made me think he was a very cool guy. I was very open with him and stuff, but looking back I don't think he was 'all there' so to speak. Kinda messed up the head guy?

So you leave him and think 'Woo sensitive', over some religious talk, you was really getting on, and then he kinda just snaps at you and leaves instantly. So you think, ok? Let's be reasonable?

I go up to him on Deviantart and start talking.

'GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I CALL THE MODERATORS NOW, ANYMORE AND I'LL CALL THE POLICE.'

Right. So I was extremely soft there. Gentle as a feather. Oooook...

So it goes on some more, we get more acquainted later on. This lad, his name is Jack. He's not so normal. Y'know, he's the kid people stare at and think is kinda strange looking but he's a really great guy.

So you try talking to him and he's really sad and depressed sometimes, suicidal, alot more, so you try to be nice, he flips out at you sometimes and you sit there wondering all deranged 'Ok?'

So I sit there and get snapped at but I was like 'Ok then', moved on, but I started to realize his issues of lacking friends, alot more, I tried helping him. I think this was my mistake.

So you send him, really nicely laid paragraphs of how to help himself. Y'know, you're just a friend and all? So, he never replies and yet this guy is suicidal, cooperative person. Alright?

And then later on you get him snapping at you again about leaving him. Right, you want to know why I left... well... I don't want to hurt your feelings but I thought you had a problem when you snapped at me.

So he snaps again, and again, and again, all sorts.

Then I met another friend on the internet, some other people in life, They seem like really nice people, but again, you get that weird distressing emotions about them. Ok? So why are you so distressed I wonder? I sit here thinking, right, this guy has a problem, well I did for a moment.

I think I sat down too long with these people anyway. I just think, sometimes, y'know, you need to go and see a doctor or something, I think? If you've got this real sensitive porcupine like personality anyway. Atleast, y'know, when you can't even say goodbye right. You have to leave in ONE BIG HURRY.

Now I found out about this term called a Narcissist. I reckon some people oughtta look at this? Maybe help themselves a bit? You need to be 18 to be diagnosed, but y'know, if you've got these issues with suicide and stuff, you really have to sort it alright? Not leave a 19 year old or a 16 year old to fix all your problems? I mean, I'm a friend, but I seriously think some people on the internet need alot of help...

Please? I just think this is really needed on the internet... I think, alot of you or some of you should get checked in about your tempers and emotions... etc... because, it does admittedly scare people.

Ok, there. Said. Just a little frightened tonight. Not sure of myself anymore. Just a few people on this website, maybe life themselves could use alot of psychotherapy lessons.. I'm not maybe all here...

Honestly, Jesus Christ, the Son of God was put on a fucking crucifix for who he was.

Why the fuck be nice?

I look through all my life too, I was that angelic little kid who never done anything wrong, still that man now. But recently it's as if my heart is dying to people's emotions.

I'm gonna remain good and honest, but honestly, is it worth even trying to be sweet and stuff? Eventually, no one you can really hope to always get on with. 20 years now, same thing.

I think Honesty, is just the best policy.

Think of the little kid down your street, the little sod who's always stealing your stuff and taking things from you, it's made me think tonight, what could a little man be when he is older?

When is aggression ever a problem? Is it worth it? if so why do we disdain ourselves over it? Isn't it a simple mechanism of the brain to get aggressive after a animal has been threatened so severely?

I feel nothing tonight. I feel I've reached that point in life when, you feel at your highest high but, man is but a deadwalk to you. I'm speaking of being bullied since the beginning, what you become.

All that hatred, desire to kill, rage, sympathy, anger raged mixed together into one human being is not a good sign at all. But all these men seemingly become some of the scariest men in history. It's like they get so hard and tough about it, the heart becomes strange and undesired. Now I feel like, I can look into the mind of a killer. Think, how did someone treat him?

How bad are people really? Are we really all we think we are as we're but the history of what we've experienced? Men are killers only because their broken homes were so abandoned by fate they grew restless. That every bit of abuse you give to another, may just alienate you one day how figured out they become and how grotesque they can perceive.

Something is very wrong with society. I don't know where the heart is anymore. I've seen childrens bullied, homes broken. Sadness broken out. I feel nothing for them really. Why do they do it? Are we so sad and deluded from society we mess up ourselves? Where is the meaning behind all this?

I'm thinking bullying and lots of it. it's killing me inside, how bad we all feel inside. How bad the world has put us through. It's been suicide over and over, and suicide ain't even a thing taken seriously anymore. Let alone death.

I think we've become such a sick society somehow. Not our own fault, but simply ther fault of perhaps some very unlikely aggression that was never understood in the beginning. Hasn't something come in the brains of time that never happened before? Are we demorphed from society? Is aggression really so bad?

I stick for the underdog. I think of the little kids and the children dying and fighting out there. But I see no choice for them to run. I think somehow, all this money in society is being used on different things from what we expect.

Honestly, I think we all need a degree in psychology to realize the aspect of life that detains us so. Every sensitive person we got to think is gonna be the one who when something goes bad and someone wonders why such a horrible misunderstood kid does it, that kid speaks up.

But society is so unsettled.

Where are we gonna get it?

That title there, is rather, what I think is wrong with the human condition.

Yes, the ways of us all. How we'll adapt to truths aswell as lies, as much as this planet, barely trusts itself. Wastes itself wondering on dreams, how to achieve things.

All this can be done, by trusting the heart of course. But then, what of it? Where do you even trust anything when you can't even trust yourself? How mobile, how stuck these people are.

I simply feel society is a disordered freakism of sorts. How we're dismayed by things that we will do ourselves. How we all freak out at things. How we alienate ourselves.

Over and over I see it happening. Friends are lost now, but by what? Gossip, scapegoating and slander. Where does the truth start and begin? Where does love happen? We're but all lost in a web of pure fucking fear.

Where does alienation come from? Where does this debauchery come from?

It's that thought, it's that one thought that mankind is bad, that's so prisoned in our society. Many of us living in pure fear. But it's not so much that society is bad, it's what society wants, and man is selfish; man is willing to manipulate, trick and be cunning. It is in our nature to lie at times, because that is how we hunt prey. The intuition would be able to decode however, such predators.

The heart seems like something in society that both encourages courage, and yet, is so discouraged. Human's history in turmoil, destroying others and praising others, for what? What we hear.

We so undoubtably want to believe literally everything, even if the truths dance on each other. We'll set fire to people as Christians, kill in name of our religions, we'll believe everything and anything if it relinquishes one thing: Human need. We rely on everything to keep us comfortable, safe, secure. Security is the deepest thing in a man's triggerable complex, and over and over, it is broken into.

'Did you hear about Sam today? How far he went to steal a bike from a man's toolshed?'

How many would believe that? Many. But where would the real truth lie? Trust in the emotions. Those who're so imprisoned by logic alone cannot discern. They're left in fear their entire lives, putting on false identities, living a lie alone.

It's pathetic really. Everything we could so rightly had can be so taken away by hearsay and given back. We avoid any kind of intimacy because of what we know, not what we feel. We have to leave and watch others suffer aimlessly to people who're manipulating them to serve their own grandiose needs.

So many friends, haven't you lost, Haven't I lost because of one thing? Gossip, hearsay, where is the trust of intuition ever conceived?

Hatred is so grounded in our systems, and we're but a intrinsically insanely gullible species trapped by fears and tangible experience developed by the mind. The heart is lost to us. The imagination is dead only because we kill it by never listening to our hearts and ourselves.

I've had lovers removed from me, friends, I'm sure you all have. I believe it is time now, for those who even want to DARE to trust the heart, I persuade somehow, we believe to trust this thing so invisible to us? 'What if it lies?' My good sir? Do you know any clue why? It's because you chose to believe in fear in the first place and that!

So I wonder about things. You feel lost sometimes. You sit there and think 'How did this happen?' and it's all there, such a opinionated society sanctifies everything with it's reasonable logic. Friends, who've been brothers to us I'm sure have been taken. Family. Far more.

Simply when will we trust the heart? Things, people are lost forever, never to return to us because of this.

It only makes you want to cry or hate them. Because no one has a 'mind' in this society, no one is willing to even develop one, because we're so fucking aimlessly believing everything, and never realising the truth for ourselves. Why society are we consisted of robots?

...

It simply seems so, in a world, where does friendship linger, where no one is willing to believe in themselves and trust themselves? Friends and lovers and family taken away from us, perhaps forever, because seemingly, no one wants to believe in the heart.

How can love develop alone with the mind? Can we think it?

...

All the words you say are from a space age
Your fantasies lay in delirium
But whoever the hell I am, may never be real
Real to you

Sanity is overrated
Where did it begin and start?
Normality didn't start to spread its wings
Till we took things apart

Love is a blessing, but people can take and give their hearts away
They're never yours truly to hold, till their emotions they hold
In trust

People be reasonable, but it can sound like insanity
Nobody cares, everyone stares at the same
Till it's flooded their brain

When will you ever listen to yourself?
When will you ever cry for help?
You're stuck between belief and a psychosis so deep
Where are you going, are you among the sheep

Yes you are, I say
Till you learnt to see inside this way
And trust your heart and minds
The keeper gives the bannana, you eat it every time
Monkey see, monkey do till you find your own stride

Love is a blessing, but how much is it fitting in
When your truth is earsplitting
Write the code and chapter today

Someone can be so beautiful
But they can never be yours to hold
Till they accepted themselves, it's true

You'll never love me for who I am
You'll never love me for what I want
Till you accept yourself, so true
Feel until you're black and blue, oh yeah

Sanity is a delirium, just a deterium
Don't let it swallow you, don't swallow it down
Punch that bannana, it's your mind now
Fuck what the sheep say to you
Because in life, there is infinite truths
What will you choose? Trust your heart
Or be deliria right from the start

Oh oh, are you coming?
Oh oh, are you going?
Are you just a sheep to me?
People can tell you a thousand truths, it's insanity
All our lives the same banity

Love is a hose we hold to our faces and expect to cool down
But what can make you happy, when you think you should wear a frown?
Do you even believe my truth? Then why the fuck do I trust you?
Why am I sitting here, speaking all the time

You're deranged I could say, but it's a matter of truth
To see how you got to this maze, which filters this roof
Over your life, and keeps you inside
The maze

What people say can keep you there
Lost in a maze without a care
When will you trust your heart? Don't you realize it's the start to you

Listen to me, listen to me
Yeah yeah
Reason with me, see my piety
Suck my cock for free
You bitch are mine to own, you'll see

But when will you listen to yourself?
When will you not discard the help?
Are you insane? No, you're quite tame
Of you

Oh, it's so common, the heart swells
As friends die and lovers send
Postcards of their adventures then
With you
Taking over him, her, him
Taking over everything
When will you realize? It's all in your mind?
Trust you, trust you

You got a brain, now use it
Take over, because a real friend, does he know anything about you?
What was you just thinking of?
Is it a sensation of deep love?
Or is it the cost of you?
What is stopping you?

I love you all, but you won't always love me back
Sometimes, it's like you'll attack
And tell me I'm wrong, whenever I'm hung for you

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, yeah yeah
Nothing nice, nothing nice, they say yeah yeah
Trust in you, trust in you
Only way through, only way through, yeah yeah

You can only go so far with people, even when you're perfect, unstoppable and great, there is nothing stopping the fact that people will discern you their way, wether fictional or not.

But, we're all lovable.

You can write a book, but not everyone will believe the same story.

Truth is fictional until someone trusts more than whats in the pages.

Your loved ones will leave and return at their own accord, leaving extremely suicidal unbearable heartache; theres no real cure here. Humans will do what humans do.

You're not truly loved, you're just liked for who you are. It takes a true man to accept all his demons, and tolerate all of others.

Life is good, but tragedy is common in fiction. We're all attracted to drama, good and bad.

The news is a outlet for scaring you, because what's most important is what you fear.

Drama is always necessary. Chaos is the way to peace.

People who don't believe what people say, simply don't like the person, even though the person is but a mirror of themselves.

Selflessness comes from being first selfish. Demanding what you want.

You'll never wind up people, unless people wind up themselves.

Sanity is a word. Insanity is what is really inside.

Do you love me, or do you not, someone should trust their emotions and hit the jackpot.

If we were in paradise, people would still be climbing trees for apples.

Insanity made our world, chaos rules everything. It gives and it takes away. Forever the catalyst.

You are but a ant on this planet. No matter how universial you think you are.

Nature is king on earth. Not man.

A face is as pretty as one is willing to believe. A face is as tolerable as much as one is willing to discern. How to tell either, is the heart.

I'm a liar, because I don't believe in your truth.

:3 Yes, the world class Stomper extroidinare Stompy the chu is now 20. :)

Don't let your self hatred hold you back too much haters everywhere. I'm blunt and to the point, of course I'm gonna stomp all over your feelings sometimes. :P Actually, you can be blunt right now. Let's talk things out!

But to all my amazing friends! Thank you all! I feel I have someone to share everything with. :3 I'm friends with some of the coolest chus and peeps on here, am I popular? No. Am I satisfied? Hell yes!  Royyy and  jonathan0322 anyday as friends!

Scream all you want at me or parade me, lifting a 1,000 foot Raichu high in the air. I don't care. I love you all, friend and foe. Keep that smile wether you feel you're smarter than me or not! You probably are in some cases!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIV0J0jQ-fY

I'll kill you in your sleep if you fuck with me
Eyes buried deep, they'll be nothing to see
Take this guided word, I've lived a lifetime of joy
Now I'm gonna bury you in the sand, run run run
Like a damsel, you won't get far today

I've just discarded poison from within my veins
Lived a lifetime of pain, now I'm not the same
I've become the people who threatened me
I've become exactly the same
Except now I'll do worse, far more worse pain

Say it with me now...

Chorus:
I'll kill you in your sleep if you fuck with me
Eyes buried deep, they'll be nothing to see
Take this guided word, I've lived a lifetime of joy
Now I'm gonna bury you in the sand, run run run
Like a damsel, you won't get far today

I am sick of tired of being your victim, now lets play your game
I'm sick of being challenged to the same old game
A lover thinks he has my heart, but he better run
I'll snap his neck, with no regret, once he is done

I'm tired and tired of the remorse, time for it to come to a end
You thought I was nice and cuddly, now I you will feel me rend
My heart was nice and cold, deep from the frost
Now it's warm from the fire, that you have cost

So you better know when to run and how to survive if you're with me
Because my name just changed from cutie, to blood red deep
I'll cut you down and bleed you, the more you run the more I'll love the chase
Here your screams from miles, love you all over the place

Murder is a fun game that I like to play
Insanity is something I was, but now it's all gone away
Welcome to the new me, you made me this way
Now I'm gonna fucking murder you, all the way

Boom boom motherfucker
Boom motherfucker boom
Boom motherfucker
Boom boom motherfucker boom

I'll trash up your house and steal your clothes
Take everything you own, the way you dethroned me
Sick and tired of your respect, and your joy for me
Mad men are made when mad men do these things to them, you'll see

I'm insane and diabolical but I'm still a man
But I barely have a conscience, it's the way I can
By law, if you mock me, provocation of one will get you killed
I've heard of this man before, thousands he has killed

Now drop dead your jaw and look at me
You won't be seeing the light if you fuck with me
This lampshade to your face, I will use to scar and burn your lips
Take you away, bit by bit

Too many gone too far, now it's time to start the show
Of a new demon me, you're not a spectator, you're on show
Now dance for me baby, as I load my gun
Set you on fire, once all my playing is done

I'm a murderer, look at these eyes
Atleast in my head, I got a big surprise
For every man I hated, since I was young my eyes were full of skulls and fire
Now if you fuck with me, you will get wired
To a fence, tick tock, goes the clock, your life
Now say goodbye, no surprise, for what you did, that night
Get too mouthy, and you will wind up dead.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgMnDX3lXN0 - The melody goes a bit similar to this, except slightly slower.

I don't get it, everyone I know just develops this bloody superiority complex around me, sure I teach them positivity and confidence and long life survival exploits, but then they take it like they're meant to stand above me.

Seriously, what the hell is with people? It's not even real confidence! Arrogance? Honestly! You're a fucking shallow piece of shit for thnking you're above me, aswell as intolerant of accepting others!

Honestly, how is this happening? Just had a string of this happen over and over...

Now if it's become I'm a great guy with massive talent, thank you but telling me that won't make my ego swell. Only pussies brag about themselves, and anyone can do aswell as anyone else. But perhaps I'm just the best and people can't stand it? Just being blunt?

I dunno... haha. I guess I'm just a awesome guy who is great competition for people? It's just I watch all you angels come to me and just change... I feel sorry for you because you're such perfect people, but you greed suddenly so much for power and it's like, what the hell, my belief system barely even dictates something as shit as paper green as the reason I exist! Seriously! Don't brag to me about money because it don't and won't work?

Seriously... I dunno guys... I guess I'm great, anyone can do what I can do, why can't you just smile, enjoy life and smell the roses? Too many friends lost to this shit. It's not me anymore.

So, I'm interested in getting more into digital painting, developing more images with more artistic talent. I can say my avatar is my 'first try' at this. :) I did good I think. :)

Otherwise, I'm probably gonna ditch the lines, and just develop from bland color. Wether I'll return to my previous style, I dunno, but for a long time I've been deeply attracted to Opencanvas's watercolor effect. This I may redevelop, but digital painting seems to be where I wanna develop my talent, now moving on to Paint Tool Sai. I've heard the painting there is excellent.

Otherwise, I'm gonna admit, I've been inspired by  Royyy and this is what through watching a stream of him has dictated my venture. :)

I'm willing for the next 2 and a half hours minutes to do a stream doing alot of freebie requests. :)

Come on over! I'm gonna keep it to sketches however because it seems it's late, but I wanna try on saturday to get in as many hours as I can for colored ones too. ^^

http://www.livestream.com/stompychu.....ieden?t=108774

Please request on the chat bar and I'll whip up some stuff. :)

A amazing extremely good artist, despite his time on here on fa. I really think that he deserves far more recognition that he has been given. His art is amazing if you're tolerant of giants, and feet and sonic chaacters. :)

I love his art and I think he is amazing. :) I'd prefer if everyone go see to his art. :) It really is amazing. :) Don't think too much of first impressions, there is true beauty, amazing artwork and a extremely dedicated artist here. :) Keeps your souls up. :3

 christull

Give him a wave and a hug and a show for his art! A amazing artist at bay and he needs to come out!

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/web-hate/

A documentary that 8 minutes in has touched me emotionally. I feel very sorry for these people and feel it is my right to show people who have been harassed by a troll this knowledge.

True strength has been given to me this character. The ability to detach from all that would hurt me or I feel wounds or interferes with me. The ability to have complete control of my destiny and for no one to be able to get in the way emotionally, intellectually, or subconsciously.

I feel like a warrior. I've taken all this and come back from all. As many would enjoy last night their christmasses with their families, I have no such bond to develop for I have far surpassed that which is a ritual bond with another person.

The ultimate power has been given to detach from any relationship, friendship, no matter how intense or strong, I have disbanded fully the need of love from another or feelings. I can live my life completely how I want to. I am free.

I have become ultimately strong.

Oh, and I got a android tablet and a moisteurizer set.

Otherwise, this firmly completes my journey in life, for lifelong happiness, perhaps alone, but never uncertain of myself. Eternal joy and positivity has been given to me and a will that can never be broken.

So I thought I'd coerce how I work in friendships and relationships, atleast in the modern day me.

I don't change for others, you see what you get with me, if you don't like it. Walk on. I won't change for you.

I won't be fair and avoid speaking the truth. If you dislike it. Then don't be with it.

You will never be detested for being a friend with me or without me. They'll never be hate with me. I live and let live.

I'll always be a person you'll either like or don't like, but I do my own thing and I remain firm to it. Sometimes I maybe sociable and others not like everyone else, sometimes I talk too much people think and some think too less, but I am myself. If you don't like it, there is the door.

I am all of the things that define a perfect human being. A nice friendly exciting person with a extremely high passion that builds with life and age, I'm fascinated by millions of people and many different things. I'll allow you to be completely yourself no matter how grotesque, disgusting or opaque. Simply realize if you have any problem with me at all, I'm not hating, but there is the door. I'll show myself rather flamboyantly to you and again if you don't like it, walk on, you'll be wasting your time changing me.

Alright, mentioned all that. Just wanted people to be sure. If I'm anything from bad to good, then, don't swell up too much in hatred because I won't and will never change for you. Take me as I am or move on.

Thank you. :)

Thank you guys for being in my life, thanks for caring for me, all the compliments, all the care, I am exhilirated to have you here, always try to look at my heart guys, I love you all. xxx

3 days is a chu's b-day. I'm thinking of setting up a stream of doing sketches for people or coloring depending on how I feel on my b-day. I hope everyone can come so I can draw tons and tons of requests for people. No, it's not about me, it's about you. :3

Or this is my equilivant to want a party and being huddled by giving. :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=xN7MgrAfNF8&feature=endscreen

Some metallica. :3

Stompy Beware. :)

Ok, seriously, it sounds so f-ing stupid, but at the same time. Genius. Who'd wanna f up a Raichu like that? It gets zanier: Stompy Beware the Chu, ok, the guy who made that name has f-ing class. :3

I was thinking of adding other parts to the name though of course, like Stompy Tinsel Beware, I dunno why? Maybe I just like that stuff. The feel of tinsel is nice man. But then, I like Napoleon too... hm? Oh yeah, and Gandhi is cool man.

Enough said. :) I'm grateful for you all for testifying my values and understanding my pain. xxx Thank you.

I'm gonna be blunt and honest, I admit, over the last few 6 months I admit I've been on and off with requests, and I admit, it's been bothering me lately.

I wanna say, I'm sorry, I would love to do the requests of the people that have come to me wanting to see their dreams come true and little pictures all so cute. <3 But the truth is, I admit, I've been feeling down and miserable, and would need time to get around to it when I feel like it.

The truth is, you got to wait, but the positive point is, I will do it, and when I do it, it will be done out of my heart and soul for you. Out of my love for wanting to do it for you. :)

So don't worry. When i get around to it, it won't be for any manipulative means. It will be given out of my heart when it is done. Since I motherfuggin' do what I want when I want! :3

I keep noticing how alot of them have a certain personality of sheer adorableness and modesty, but also somewhat quirky and reserved and cute in their own way. Did you notice it? <3

I just wonder if there is a certain thing that makes one have a Raichusona or a sorta sona, if it's related to the dna or genetics, they all seem alike in some way, some of them very reserved and some very hyperactive. :3

Just realized recently though, I'm a therian now it seems with my thereotype being a raichu. :) His name is Ryoku, he might type messages to you guys sometimes. :) People find him sheetly adorable. <3 The thing is, he takes my boots off ( which I wear in real life ) and doesn't like wearing them. Cute huh? <3 He likes strawberries and apples, surprised how really he is my real soul form really. But he's in there and I think he's influenced my life in major ways.

He's sorta shy, he's lazy, doesn't sit upright and puts the feet up on the desk and waves his feet above, he likes to wave his head left and right and hold his cheeks, I think he often wonders where his tail and stuff is lol. :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=ZgaHIE3soUA&feature=endscreen

Just how I'm feeling tonight. Also a dynamic of my personality I haven't learnt to live without.