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2021 plans and pricing changes
General | Posted 5 years ago It's a new year, and hopefully it's going to be a better one than 2020 was. With COVID vaccines already being shipped and deployed, I hope that soon we can return to a normal life. So what are my plans now?
First of all, I wanted to rework my pricing for a while now, and the the start of a new year is a natural landmark to do that. My prices have increased slightly to better match my quality and the effort I'm putting into my artworks. But the main change is that full illustrations now include a detailed background by default.
As such, the starting price is now $400, for one character and a detailed background included. The reason for this change is that illustrations simply loose out on so much without a proper background. It's like a hamburger with no salad, pickles and mayo, just the patty smacked in an empty bun. Every time I made one without full background, it felt like wasted potential, it felt incomplete.
So in order to bring the best out of my art, and be able to paint pictures that feel whole, I made backgrounds default. I understand that this practically doubled the minim amount you need to spend on an illustration, but almost all of my recent commissioners who chose the illustration tier asked for a background anyway. But if you just really need a full body painting with no background, we can still discuss options, but I would consider that more an extension of the bust portrait tier, than illustration tier.
This past year took a toll on all of us emotionally, mentally and financially alike. I also had a harder time to stay productive, but in the same time also experienced some breakthroughs, that I now want to utilize to make this year a much more productive one.
My main priority is, as always, finishing commissions, but I also want to focus on doing personal art - I know, I know, I have said that before, but I'm hopefully that this year I can finally realize this. I also specifically plan a few very personal pieces that I hope will help me face my demons and gain straight through making art depicting myself in very specific ways.
I also regrettably neglected my print shop, something I intend to fix by adding new works, doing some advertising, and hosting some sales every now and then. I especially regret missing doing a holiday sale! My apologies. Also, my plans on making other merch available, including dakis, were pretty much set aside and forgotten, but I want to revive them.
Sadly, my Patreon also took a hit thanks to the pandemic, as several of my wonderful patrons had to decrease or entirely cancel their patronage due to their own financial situation being impacted by COVID. Of course I totally understand, their own life comes first! And I'm grateful for their support in the past beyond words! (You know who you are - I love you all and wish that your problems get sorted out soon! Stay safe! <3 ). But with my Patreon income impacted, I now really need to work on gaining new patrons, which is going to be extra difficult now with COVID having done long-lasting damage the the global economy. I don't know yet how I'm going to get more supporters, but I have to try everything I can.
Finally, after a year with no cons, I really hope that the situation improves enough that we can all enjoy Eurofurence this year, and in person, like normally. So my big goal for the year would be making it there and exhibiting some pieces in the Art Show. But this cost a lot of money, so I need to improve my income significantly if I want to be able to save up for it. Since I don't (and can't) do Dealers Den, I don't really have a way to make up for the costs. Selling well in the Art Show may bring back a small portion, but not much.
But... one step at a time. For now, I need to focus on productivity above all. Hopefully my health will play along this time.
Finally, I wish you all a better, happier, safer new year, and may this whole COVID mess become a thing of the past in the coming months!
Pricing changes
First of all, I wanted to rework my pricing for a while now, and the the start of a new year is a natural landmark to do that. My prices have increased slightly to better match my quality and the effort I'm putting into my artworks. But the main change is that full illustrations now include a detailed background by default.
As such, the starting price is now $400, for one character and a detailed background included. The reason for this change is that illustrations simply loose out on so much without a proper background. It's like a hamburger with no salad, pickles and mayo, just the patty smacked in an empty bun. Every time I made one without full background, it felt like wasted potential, it felt incomplete.
So in order to bring the best out of my art, and be able to paint pictures that feel whole, I made backgrounds default. I understand that this practically doubled the minim amount you need to spend on an illustration, but almost all of my recent commissioners who chose the illustration tier asked for a background anyway. But if you just really need a full body painting with no background, we can still discuss options, but I would consider that more an extension of the bust portrait tier, than illustration tier.
Plans for 2021
This past year took a toll on all of us emotionally, mentally and financially alike. I also had a harder time to stay productive, but in the same time also experienced some breakthroughs, that I now want to utilize to make this year a much more productive one.
My main priority is, as always, finishing commissions, but I also want to focus on doing personal art - I know, I know, I have said that before, but I'm hopefully that this year I can finally realize this. I also specifically plan a few very personal pieces that I hope will help me face my demons and gain straight through making art depicting myself in very specific ways.
I also regrettably neglected my print shop, something I intend to fix by adding new works, doing some advertising, and hosting some sales every now and then. I especially regret missing doing a holiday sale! My apologies. Also, my plans on making other merch available, including dakis, were pretty much set aside and forgotten, but I want to revive them.
Sadly, my Patreon also took a hit thanks to the pandemic, as several of my wonderful patrons had to decrease or entirely cancel their patronage due to their own financial situation being impacted by COVID. Of course I totally understand, their own life comes first! And I'm grateful for their support in the past beyond words! (You know who you are - I love you all and wish that your problems get sorted out soon! Stay safe! <3 ). But with my Patreon income impacted, I now really need to work on gaining new patrons, which is going to be extra difficult now with COVID having done long-lasting damage the the global economy. I don't know yet how I'm going to get more supporters, but I have to try everything I can.
Finally, after a year with no cons, I really hope that the situation improves enough that we can all enjoy Eurofurence this year, and in person, like normally. So my big goal for the year would be making it there and exhibiting some pieces in the Art Show. But this cost a lot of money, so I need to improve my income significantly if I want to be able to save up for it. Since I don't (and can't) do Dealers Den, I don't really have a way to make up for the costs. Selling well in the Art Show may bring back a small portion, but not much.
But... one step at a time. For now, I need to focus on productivity above all. Hopefully my health will play along this time.
Finally, I wish you all a better, happier, safer new year, and may this whole COVID mess become a thing of the past in the coming months!
Why do I create?
General | Posted 5 years agoThe end of the year is time for reflection - to think about the path we have walked, and the path we want to walk from now on. It is great time to draw the conclusions of a year's successes and mistakes, and make sure we still know who we are, and are on the right path. And so I'm thinking about my path, through creation.
There are many ways to create, large and small, hard and easy, positive and negative. Art itself is a field of vast possibilities and many sub-fields and yet, art itself is just one hue on the spectrum of creation. When someone sets out on the path of art, the first question any good teacher would have you ask yourself,m is what kind of artist you want to be? There are many options, you could be a concept artist, illustrator, game asset artist, character designer, storyboard artist, 3D modeler, fine artist, and on and on...
And my answer is: I don't care.
I never wanted to be any kind of artist - to be honest, I never wanted to be an artist in general. All I wanted was to create. The what and the how doesn't matter - it never did. I create through tending to my garden. I create through arranging my books on my bookshelf in an aesthetic way. I create through cooking. I create through building a base in Minecraft. I create through installing new water taps. I create through building electronic gadgets and writing code. I create through writing posts like this. And yes, I create through art as well.
I may be primarily a digital painter right now, but it is simply the path of least resistance. Now, don't get me wrong, I chose to focus on painting, and I LOVE doing it! It's just that I love all forms of creation. If time, money and health allowed I would dabble in many forms of it - I want to get back to 3D modeling again, as well as programming, tinkering. I want to build models like I did as a kid. I want to focus more on cooking nice healthy dishes and experimenting with new recipes.
Someone smart once said: "Creation is not an act. It's a way of life." And that's my truth. As said, the "what" and the "how" doesn't matter. But the "why" does.
I create because it sets me free, and because I can bring something good into the World. People say "you can't change the world", and in a way that's true, but in a way you change the world with every little thing you do - every step you make, every breath you take, every word you say and even every thought you think does effect you and the World around you. We individually may be insignificant in the big picture of things and yet every one of us is significant and can make an impact, because however small that impact may be, it matters. Maybe you can't help everyone but you can help someone. Maybe a little, insignificant thing you do is the thing that makes all the difference for someone, or maybe it is like the butterfly's wing flap that causes a hurricane. We all influence the World in our own little ways.
And so, I want my influence to be more good than bad. I want to life others up more than I pull them down. I want to love more than I hate. I want to create more than I destroy. And I want to create more harmony than discord. And so, I chose to create. It doesn't matter if it's art or something else, and with art, it doesn't matter if it's porn that gets someone horny, or deep and touching art that makes cry. What matters is that I shall give more than I take.
I only wish that life's hardships didn't distract me so much and so often from the creative way of life. I hope that one day I won't have to worry about making it through the month financially - maybe even have enough that I can spend money on helping others. I hope that one day I can dedicate myself to creating freely, without constantly being limited by resources, forced by bills, and suffocated by the stress and anxiety of basic survival.
I never meant to make money with art. The commissions, the Patreon page, they came as necessities, because I have to make ends met like everyone else. But if I became a millionaire tomorrow, while I would do a lot of new things that right now I don't have the resources for, I would also keep doing the things I do now. I would keep doing commissions, even if much less often and being significantly more selective, because money was never really the reason to do them - I do them to make people happy and bring their dreams and ideas to life.
So I hope, that after a year that took so much from so many, and hopefully taught everyone to appreciate what they have, I may look forward a productive year, when I don't lose sight of my true motivation, and am able to keep the creative fire burning bright. And I hope that it will be a much better year for everyone, and that my work may be able to contribute to making your life feel a tiny bit better, even if only for a moment.
Remember, fighting for your dreams isn't selfish, it's the opposite: by following your dreams, you can find your true calling, which lets you contribute the most to the World in your own unique and special way, because nobody can do your calling as well as you can. This is the beauty of it: you can do the most for others, when you do the most for yourself.
Keep believing.
There are many ways to create, large and small, hard and easy, positive and negative. Art itself is a field of vast possibilities and many sub-fields and yet, art itself is just one hue on the spectrum of creation. When someone sets out on the path of art, the first question any good teacher would have you ask yourself,m is what kind of artist you want to be? There are many options, you could be a concept artist, illustrator, game asset artist, character designer, storyboard artist, 3D modeler, fine artist, and on and on...
And my answer is: I don't care.
I never wanted to be any kind of artist - to be honest, I never wanted to be an artist in general. All I wanted was to create. The what and the how doesn't matter - it never did. I create through tending to my garden. I create through arranging my books on my bookshelf in an aesthetic way. I create through cooking. I create through building a base in Minecraft. I create through installing new water taps. I create through building electronic gadgets and writing code. I create through writing posts like this. And yes, I create through art as well.
I may be primarily a digital painter right now, but it is simply the path of least resistance. Now, don't get me wrong, I chose to focus on painting, and I LOVE doing it! It's just that I love all forms of creation. If time, money and health allowed I would dabble in many forms of it - I want to get back to 3D modeling again, as well as programming, tinkering. I want to build models like I did as a kid. I want to focus more on cooking nice healthy dishes and experimenting with new recipes.
Someone smart once said: "Creation is not an act. It's a way of life." And that's my truth. As said, the "what" and the "how" doesn't matter. But the "why" does.
I create because it sets me free, and because I can bring something good into the World. People say "you can't change the world", and in a way that's true, but in a way you change the world with every little thing you do - every step you make, every breath you take, every word you say and even every thought you think does effect you and the World around you. We individually may be insignificant in the big picture of things and yet every one of us is significant and can make an impact, because however small that impact may be, it matters. Maybe you can't help everyone but you can help someone. Maybe a little, insignificant thing you do is the thing that makes all the difference for someone, or maybe it is like the butterfly's wing flap that causes a hurricane. We all influence the World in our own little ways.
And so, I want my influence to be more good than bad. I want to life others up more than I pull them down. I want to love more than I hate. I want to create more than I destroy. And I want to create more harmony than discord. And so, I chose to create. It doesn't matter if it's art or something else, and with art, it doesn't matter if it's porn that gets someone horny, or deep and touching art that makes cry. What matters is that I shall give more than I take.
I only wish that life's hardships didn't distract me so much and so often from the creative way of life. I hope that one day I won't have to worry about making it through the month financially - maybe even have enough that I can spend money on helping others. I hope that one day I can dedicate myself to creating freely, without constantly being limited by resources, forced by bills, and suffocated by the stress and anxiety of basic survival.
I never meant to make money with art. The commissions, the Patreon page, they came as necessities, because I have to make ends met like everyone else. But if I became a millionaire tomorrow, while I would do a lot of new things that right now I don't have the resources for, I would also keep doing the things I do now. I would keep doing commissions, even if much less often and being significantly more selective, because money was never really the reason to do them - I do them to make people happy and bring their dreams and ideas to life.
So I hope, that after a year that took so much from so many, and hopefully taught everyone to appreciate what they have, I may look forward a productive year, when I don't lose sight of my true motivation, and am able to keep the creative fire burning bright. And I hope that it will be a much better year for everyone, and that my work may be able to contribute to making your life feel a tiny bit better, even if only for a moment.
Remember, fighting for your dreams isn't selfish, it's the opposite: by following your dreams, you can find your true calling, which lets you contribute the most to the World in your own unique and special way, because nobody can do your calling as well as you can. This is the beauty of it: you can do the most for others, when you do the most for yourself.
Keep believing.
Happy respective holidays!
General | Posted 5 years ago Happy Winter Solstice / Yule / Christmas / Hannukah or other holiday you may be observing!
I wish you all a peaceful end of the year, filled with reflecting, and believing in that 2021 will be a much better, happier and bountiful your for everyone!
Storm
I wish you all a peaceful end of the year, filled with reflecting, and believing in that 2021 will be a much better, happier and bountiful your for everyone!
Storm
Print store OPENING SALE!
General | Posted 5 years agoDear friends, followers and Patrons!
The day has finally come, my prints are live!
They are gallery-quality, professional art prints (giclée), on premium Exhibition Photo Satin paper, printed with a special printer using multiple inks for perfect color reproduction and longevity. If stored properly (away from direct sunlight), they will last a lifetime. The inks will stay even if you accidentally splash water on it.
And they ship Internationally!
To celebrate the launch, I'm giving 10% off on all prints! Use the promo code HORNYHORSE to get your discount!
SFW prints: https://tinyurl.com/stormsfw
NSFW prints: https://tinyurl.com/stormnsfw
If there is an artwork you really like but is not on offer, please contact me and I'll see if I can make it available for you!
And if you have any trouble, please contact me at Telegram ( @StormEngineer ) or Discord ( Storm Engineer#0960 ) and I'll do my best to assists!
P.s.: My apologies for the ordering process being a little complicated, but TheDealersDen is experiencing some technical problems and we are still waiting on the admins to help us with them. Until then, the current process should work fine.
Stay tuned for PRINTS!
General | Posted 5 years ago Dear friends, followers and patrons!
We are at the final stage of preparations before my art will be available as prints - NSFW included! I'm really excited but also a bit exhausted.
Also, I'll have a limited launch sale! Details of this will be in the launch announcement.
If you want to get notified right away when we launch, join my Telegram Channel! I'll also post on my Main Twitter and My NSFW Twitter as well as a journal and a submission here on FA.
Stay tuned, and stay awesome!
We are at the final stage of preparations before my art will be available as prints - NSFW included! I'm really excited but also a bit exhausted.
Also, I'll have a limited launch sale! Details of this will be in the launch announcement.
If you want to get notified right away when we launch, join my Telegram Channel! I'll also post on my Main Twitter and My NSFW Twitter as well as a journal and a submission here on FA.
Stay tuned, and stay awesome!
Telegram channel, Twitter and Sergals!
General | Posted 5 years ago Hey there wonderful fuzzballs!
Did you know that there are several ways to keep an eye on my new art uploads (and more)?
I have a Telegram Channel where I post art, and will post anything else of importance too (like when I'm launching prints... Soon™).
I also have Twitter - two, in fact. My NSFW Twitter has, well... NSFW art. And my Main Twitter has everything else.
Finally, the Sergals watch-bot has you covered if you would like to get custom-tailored notifications in Telegram, only about the artists you actually care about.
Hope to see you in my channel or on twitter soon! Until then, stay fluffy (or smooth... or whatever applies to you)!
Did you know that there are several ways to keep an eye on my new art uploads (and more)?
I have a Telegram Channel where I post art, and will post anything else of importance too (like when I'm launching prints... Soon™).
I also have Twitter - two, in fact. My NSFW Twitter has, well... NSFW art. And my Main Twitter has everything else.
Finally, the Sergals watch-bot has you covered if you would like to get custom-tailored notifications in Telegram, only about the artists you actually care about.
Hope to see you in my channel or on twitter soon! Until then, stay fluffy (or smooth... or whatever applies to you)!
PRINTS and more coming! - but I need your HELP!
General | Posted 5 years agoDear friends, patrons and watchers!
You've asked me for a long time for prints of my art, and I'm finally working on making that happen! And there is more: I'm in talks with two dakimakura cover makers about possibly working together.
That's right, I'm gonna do dakimakuras! If you liked my stallion pinup you are in luck because something similar would come first. ;) I'm looking into the option of "undressable" dakis, where you have an inner cover with the NSFW art, and an outer cover with the SFW version of the same art!
I'm also looking into shirts, pins, mouse pads, playmats and wall scrolls.
But in the same time, I need your help.
Between my mental health and financial troubles I was more or less getting by, but the recent COVID situation broke the status quo. I have more and more debt each month, and at this point I don't know if I'll be able to pay bills and buy food a few weeks from now. And I can't just take on more commissions because I'm already over my limit by one, so I need to finish existing first.
I really hate to ask you this, but if you can support me by either joining my Patreon, or via a one-time donation, you would make a huge difference. I've been struggling for a long time but I refrained from asking for donations, but now, I feel I have no choice but to do this.
Ways you can help:
🦄 One time donation viaPayPal
🦄 One time donation via Ko-Fi (goes to PayPal)
🦄 One time donation via FA Shinies (goes to PayPal)
🦄 Monthly support via Patreon
🦄 Share this journal and spread the word!
If you can't donate, it's OK! If you can only donate $1 that's OK too, and will be greatly appreciated! If you share this journal with others who may be able to donate, that also helps a lot and is greatly appreciated!
Anyway, thank you for reading this, and thank you if you donated or shared. I'll keep you updated about prints and dakis and my personal status, so stay tuned, and also, stay safe.
Storm
Finding myself again
General | Posted 5 years ago "Not all those who wander ar lost" - goes the famous poem by Tolkien.
I've been a wanderer my whole life. I'm used to never having a true place in life, always drifting. I'm used to wandering on even when those I called friends stayed behind. I'm used to facing the unknown without fear but curiosity instead. I knew I'll always have to face the toughest challenges alone, even when I have friends by my side because where I go they can't. It's alright. I've found peace in wandering.
But for a long time now, I am truly and genuinely lost - because I've lost the only thing that can serve as a compass for a wanderer: myself.
How did this happen? And when? It doesn't really matter, it changes nothing. Life has swallowed me up whole, chewed on me hard and spitted me out... and then it repeated the whole process a couple more times for good measure. But this isn't a complaint, or a wish for pity. It's a statement, an acknowledgment - something to serve as a fixed point to grasp onto and see where I can go from there.
If I think back to my younger days, I see a different person. I see a person who, despite all the hardship, all the beatings, had a fire burning inside. A person who had hobbies, who was curious, who always tried new things, asked questions no one else asked, lifted stones no one else cared about to see what's underneath. A person who had a love for life, an enthusiasm for learning and discovery, and didn't hesitate to experiment, and to believe. A person who believed it's better to try and fail than to not try. A person who, when nobody had faith in him, had faith in himself, and when everyone told him that what he is trying to do is impossible, he tried it anyway, and sometimes succeeded. A person who had dreams others called ridiculous and unreasonable but he kept chasing them and he made some of them come true. A person of which I am but a shadow of.
I'm looking at images, some of these are photos, some are memories but they both seem equally distant. They are the memories of someone else. A person I am not anymore. He rode a mare nobody other than her owner could ever ride before, and he did so without force or violence. He earned the respect and protection of his former bully not by fighting back, but buy offering him a helping hand when he was in need, without hesitation. He traveled through the Himalayas with very little money, no plans or arrangements, just a goal of reaching a tiny village in former West-Tibet, getting help along the way from numerous strangers he just met right when he needed them, guided by believing in his dream.
This may sound like bragging, but this person isn't me. Not anymore. He was once a part of me, but I lost him long ago and I don't know where he is now. I used to look up to him, be proud of him and have faith in him. But I've lost him. I've lost the wanderer in me - and with him, I've lost my faith in myself and my dreams, and I've lost my peace, and the ability to face the unknown without fear. It feels like every since I'm asleep, and just dreaming my life instead of living my dreams.
But I don't feel sorry for myself. I don't feel self-pity, or self-hate. I feel only that something is missing. He is missing.
And I want to get him back.
This is not a complaint. This is a declaration of war - on depression, on anxiety, on money and bureaucracy getting in my way, on pain, on loneliness, on fear of the unknown, on giving up, on accepting defeat, on helplessness, on stagnation, on the inability to act, on sadness, on burnout. This is going to be war - no, a rescue mission. I have to go and find him. I have to find my old self, the wanderer, wherever he is, and bring him back. I need him to re-ignite that fire.
But I don't know how. Not yet. And I don't think I can do it alone. While the final battle I'll have to fight alone in the darkness of my own self, to defeat my own shadow, I'll need help along the way, to make it to this final battle.
If only I knew where to start...
I've been a wanderer my whole life. I'm used to never having a true place in life, always drifting. I'm used to wandering on even when those I called friends stayed behind. I'm used to facing the unknown without fear but curiosity instead. I knew I'll always have to face the toughest challenges alone, even when I have friends by my side because where I go they can't. It's alright. I've found peace in wandering.
But for a long time now, I am truly and genuinely lost - because I've lost the only thing that can serve as a compass for a wanderer: myself.
How did this happen? And when? It doesn't really matter, it changes nothing. Life has swallowed me up whole, chewed on me hard and spitted me out... and then it repeated the whole process a couple more times for good measure. But this isn't a complaint, or a wish for pity. It's a statement, an acknowledgment - something to serve as a fixed point to grasp onto and see where I can go from there.
If I think back to my younger days, I see a different person. I see a person who, despite all the hardship, all the beatings, had a fire burning inside. A person who had hobbies, who was curious, who always tried new things, asked questions no one else asked, lifted stones no one else cared about to see what's underneath. A person who had a love for life, an enthusiasm for learning and discovery, and didn't hesitate to experiment, and to believe. A person who believed it's better to try and fail than to not try. A person who, when nobody had faith in him, had faith in himself, and when everyone told him that what he is trying to do is impossible, he tried it anyway, and sometimes succeeded. A person who had dreams others called ridiculous and unreasonable but he kept chasing them and he made some of them come true. A person of which I am but a shadow of.
I'm looking at images, some of these are photos, some are memories but they both seem equally distant. They are the memories of someone else. A person I am not anymore. He rode a mare nobody other than her owner could ever ride before, and he did so without force or violence. He earned the respect and protection of his former bully not by fighting back, but buy offering him a helping hand when he was in need, without hesitation. He traveled through the Himalayas with very little money, no plans or arrangements, just a goal of reaching a tiny village in former West-Tibet, getting help along the way from numerous strangers he just met right when he needed them, guided by believing in his dream.
This may sound like bragging, but this person isn't me. Not anymore. He was once a part of me, but I lost him long ago and I don't know where he is now. I used to look up to him, be proud of him and have faith in him. But I've lost him. I've lost the wanderer in me - and with him, I've lost my faith in myself and my dreams, and I've lost my peace, and the ability to face the unknown without fear. It feels like every since I'm asleep, and just dreaming my life instead of living my dreams.
But I don't feel sorry for myself. I don't feel self-pity, or self-hate. I feel only that something is missing. He is missing.
And I want to get him back.
This is not a complaint. This is a declaration of war - on depression, on anxiety, on money and bureaucracy getting in my way, on pain, on loneliness, on fear of the unknown, on giving up, on accepting defeat, on helplessness, on stagnation, on the inability to act, on sadness, on burnout. This is going to be war - no, a rescue mission. I have to go and find him. I have to find my old self, the wanderer, wherever he is, and bring him back. I need him to re-ignite that fire.
But I don't know how. Not yet. And I don't think I can do it alone. While the final battle I'll have to fight alone in the darkness of my own self, to defeat my own shadow, I'll need help along the way, to make it to this final battle.
If only I knew where to start...
I need a break... but I can't. [rant]
General | Posted 5 years agoThis is going to be a bit of rant and lot of complaining, so you've been warned, and I apologize in advance. But I just really need to talk about this.
I live in a perpetual mix of depression, stress, anxiety and burnout for... well... I don't even know. 10 years? 15? There have been better times and worse times but overall the last time I was able to experience what it is like to live without constant worry and crushing pressure was when I was too little to really understand things.
And right now is one of the worse times. Several days ago our water boiler broke down, there is no hot water now, and ever since I'm constantly sick in the stomach from stress and feel like I'm so exhausted that I just want to fall asleep for a hundred years. Eventually got some advance payment and a donation so I'll be able to get it replaced but it's still gonna cost $185 and for us that is a LOT.
"Wait, what? You sell commissions for several hundred dollars!" - you might say. Yeah, except due to my constant fucked up health state it takes very long to finish them. I should be able to finish one in a week, if my health was normal, but now they take months. So my actual income per month is barely enough to scrape by. And I can't just take on more commissions, I need to finish existing ones first, otherwise I'll build a gigantic backlog that will be impossible to finish not to mention the pressure of having to finish commissions is one of the major sources of my stress. Don't get me wrong, my commissioners are amazing, understanding and patient people, And I'm genuinely grateful for that, but that doesn't mean I don't feel super stressed about taking so long to finish their paintings. I feel like I'm abusing their patience.
And I don't even enjoy personal art anymore, or feel good about doing a house cleanup, or anything, because I always just feel crushing guilt for not spending that energy on paid work instead.
I need a break... and by that I mean what I would need is 6 months without the constant worry of what are we going to eat next week, or if we can pay bills before they cut internet or electricity. 6 months when I don't feel constant enormous pressure from having to scrape together enough money to get through the month. 6 months to be able to feel safe, and regenerate, recuperate... and just work on personal art with no pressure or deadline whatsoever. To be able, once again, properly enjoy painting, to paint just for the sake of it, and let paintings take whatever time they need in order to realize their true potential.
But I can't. There is simply no way to do that. To be able to take a break for 6 months and not having to constantly worry about getting through the month I would need to have $2000 in the bank. If I would want to actually go to a therapist, add another $5-700. And that may not be so crazy amount by eg. American or German standards, but for me in my current situation that's a crazy amount of money. And there is no way for me to get that, unless I win on the lottery. There is nothing of value I could sell. I already explained why taking on more commissions without finishing existing first is not an option and would only make things worse. Taking a loan would mean the same problem, and nobody would give me one anyway. I've looked into artist grants too but there is nothing I can apply for without being a "modern artist" or being a student at a state-recognized art school. I can't even save up because we are in the negative at the end of each month.
And the most frustrating is that I know, I KNOW that if I wasn't this fucked up, I could make that 2k in 1-2 months. But for that I would need to get better and for that I need a break... and there we go, with the chicken-egg problem, that in order to make more money, I first need to have more money. It's so frustrating... It's so stupid... I wish I could somehow tell my stupid brain to just stop goddamn stressing, calm the heck down and let me be productive. But that's not how mental illnesses work. And this whole COVID-19 shit isn't helping either, I'm scared that with the economy crashing I may soon have trouble finding commissions. I have a few on waiting list, but then what? It's also plain depressing to constantly see the news about everything going to shit, and I can't even go to a social gathering now.
*sigh*
I'm just really tired and fed up, and I needed to talk about this. I'm sorry if I brought your mood down. I'm just trying to find a way to feel a little better so maybe I can try to actually get some work done.
I live in a perpetual mix of depression, stress, anxiety and burnout for... well... I don't even know. 10 years? 15? There have been better times and worse times but overall the last time I was able to experience what it is like to live without constant worry and crushing pressure was when I was too little to really understand things.
And right now is one of the worse times. Several days ago our water boiler broke down, there is no hot water now, and ever since I'm constantly sick in the stomach from stress and feel like I'm so exhausted that I just want to fall asleep for a hundred years. Eventually got some advance payment and a donation so I'll be able to get it replaced but it's still gonna cost $185 and for us that is a LOT.
"Wait, what? You sell commissions for several hundred dollars!" - you might say. Yeah, except due to my constant fucked up health state it takes very long to finish them. I should be able to finish one in a week, if my health was normal, but now they take months. So my actual income per month is barely enough to scrape by. And I can't just take on more commissions, I need to finish existing ones first, otherwise I'll build a gigantic backlog that will be impossible to finish not to mention the pressure of having to finish commissions is one of the major sources of my stress. Don't get me wrong, my commissioners are amazing, understanding and patient people, And I'm genuinely grateful for that, but that doesn't mean I don't feel super stressed about taking so long to finish their paintings. I feel like I'm abusing their patience.
And I don't even enjoy personal art anymore, or feel good about doing a house cleanup, or anything, because I always just feel crushing guilt for not spending that energy on paid work instead.
I need a break... and by that I mean what I would need is 6 months without the constant worry of what are we going to eat next week, or if we can pay bills before they cut internet or electricity. 6 months when I don't feel constant enormous pressure from having to scrape together enough money to get through the month. 6 months to be able to feel safe, and regenerate, recuperate... and just work on personal art with no pressure or deadline whatsoever. To be able, once again, properly enjoy painting, to paint just for the sake of it, and let paintings take whatever time they need in order to realize their true potential.
But I can't. There is simply no way to do that. To be able to take a break for 6 months and not having to constantly worry about getting through the month I would need to have $2000 in the bank. If I would want to actually go to a therapist, add another $5-700. And that may not be so crazy amount by eg. American or German standards, but for me in my current situation that's a crazy amount of money. And there is no way for me to get that, unless I win on the lottery. There is nothing of value I could sell. I already explained why taking on more commissions without finishing existing first is not an option and would only make things worse. Taking a loan would mean the same problem, and nobody would give me one anyway. I've looked into artist grants too but there is nothing I can apply for without being a "modern artist" or being a student at a state-recognized art school. I can't even save up because we are in the negative at the end of each month.
And the most frustrating is that I know, I KNOW that if I wasn't this fucked up, I could make that 2k in 1-2 months. But for that I would need to get better and for that I need a break... and there we go, with the chicken-egg problem, that in order to make more money, I first need to have more money. It's so frustrating... It's so stupid... I wish I could somehow tell my stupid brain to just stop goddamn stressing, calm the heck down and let me be productive. But that's not how mental illnesses work. And this whole COVID-19 shit isn't helping either, I'm scared that with the economy crashing I may soon have trouble finding commissions. I have a few on waiting list, but then what? It's also plain depressing to constantly see the news about everything going to shit, and I can't even go to a social gathering now.
*sigh*
I'm just really tired and fed up, and I needed to talk about this. I'm sorry if I brought your mood down. I'm just trying to find a way to feel a little better so maybe I can try to actually get some work done.
I'm gonna do STREEEAMS again!
General | Posted 5 years ago Dear friends, watchers, patrons and visitors!
I was procrastinating to get back to streaming for such a long time... And now everyone is stuck at home with not much to do. So there won't be a better time to start streaming again!
Actually, I'm gonna do my first (new) experimental stream right now, I'm already setting up, and will get started in 10-20 minutes maybe.
https://picarto.tv/StormEngineer
For now I'll stream on Piacrto but I'm looking into streaming on twitch as well. We will see. Also, streams will be ad-hoc for now, but I'll try to eventually figure some sort of schedule. I'll announce streams over Twitter and FA, but in order to notify you of streams more conveniently, I've created a Telegram channel: https://t.me/stormengineerart
Via Telegram: https://t.me/stormengineerart
Via Twitter: https://twitter.com/Storm_Engineer
I hope to see you in a stream soon! :)
I was procrastinating to get back to streaming for such a long time... And now everyone is stuck at home with not much to do. So there won't be a better time to start streaming again!
Actually, I'm gonna do my first (new) experimental stream right now, I'm already setting up, and will get started in 10-20 minutes maybe.
Check me here:
https://picarto.tv/StormEngineer
For now I'll stream on Piacrto but I'm looking into streaming on twitch as well. We will see. Also, streams will be ad-hoc for now, but I'll try to eventually figure some sort of schedule. I'll announce streams over Twitter and FA, but in order to notify you of streams more conveniently, I've created a Telegram channel: https://t.me/stormengineerart
Get notified about streams:
Via Telegram: https://t.me/stormengineerart
Via Twitter: https://twitter.com/Storm_Engineer
I hope to see you in a stream soon! :)
What would it take?
General | Posted 5 years ago Dear friends and followers, I would like to know your opinions.
As you probably know I'm hoping that over time I can keep growing my Patreon so that it can allow me to focus more on personal art instead of commissions. I believe that personal art is where I can truly shine and do my best. I also believe that the subjects and ideas I want to focus on (such as slice of life, both SFW and NSFW) would be popular and welcomed among my existing followers as well as bringing in new ones.
So, in order to understand better how to approach growing my Patreon, I would like to ask you: What would it take for you to join my Patreon/ increase your pledge if you are already my patron? What is it that you would like to see in order to consider it, or what is it that is holding you back?
I've created a StrawPoll where you can vote, and I would also be glad to hear anything you have to say down in the comments. In the end I want to do art for You and others to enjoy, so if I can make content that people are willing to support, it's a win-win.
Click here to vote!
P.s.: Stay safe and healthy in this current situation! :)
As you probably know I'm hoping that over time I can keep growing my Patreon so that it can allow me to focus more on personal art instead of commissions. I believe that personal art is where I can truly shine and do my best. I also believe that the subjects and ideas I want to focus on (such as slice of life, both SFW and NSFW) would be popular and welcomed among my existing followers as well as bringing in new ones.
So, in order to understand better how to approach growing my Patreon, I would like to ask you: What would it take for you to join my Patreon/ increase your pledge if you are already my patron? What is it that you would like to see in order to consider it, or what is it that is holding you back?
I've created a StrawPoll where you can vote, and I would also be glad to hear anything you have to say down in the comments. In the end I want to do art for You and others to enjoy, so if I can make content that people are willing to support, it's a win-win.
Click here to vote!
P.s.: Stay safe and healthy in this current situation! :)
Pandemic report - some good news, some worrying
General | Posted 5 years ago I thought I should update you all about the situation over here in Hungary, and about myself.
Overall for now my life is pretty much the same as before. We have a bit of food stocked so we won't need to go shopping for a while, other than that things go like normal. But that's not the case for most of the country.
Our government for ONCE is actually doing the right thing in many ways regarding handling the situation. Schools closed and moved to distance education via the Internet and the re-purposing of a state TV, employment laws were temporarily modified to make it easier for employers to adapt, but most importantly, there is one action in particular that's a very good news for me and my mother:
The govt suspended ALL loan payments completely for individuals until the end of the year. (And until June for companies.) That means nobody has to pay a single cent until then. And my mother has some pretty large monthly payments that would have been near impossible to keep up with her decreased salary now with her workplace closed. Moreover, the govt also announced that in sectors that are heavily impacted by the situation (and my mother's job is one such) employers gain temporary exemption from several fees that are part of the combined "taxes" on salaries, and if I understand correctly, that means people in these sectors will get to keep a significantly larger percentage of their gross salaries, which again would be great for my mother. We will see soon.
In the other hand though, some events are... worrying. As of today, the Hungarian Military takes control of over 140 companies that were deemed critical for keeping the infrastructure working. Combined units of military, police and "catastrophe defense" will be sent to these companies to oversee their operation. And in one hand protecting critical infrastructure is important but at this point this action feels a bit... too early? Too excessive? Remember, our Prime Minister, Viktor Orbán is an anti-democratic hate-mongering dictator-wannabe. I don't want to start any conspiracy theories but this move so early feels unjustified and makes me feel uneasy. In addition, military will now patrol the streets of several towns and cities, especially those that have military facilities nearby... for reasons? Again, feels excessive... it's not like we are in a zombie apocalypse. But... we will see. Maybe Orbán is just having fun playing with his toys.
I'll keep you updated if anything of interest happens.
Until then, stay safe and healthy, remember to wash your paws and don't buy toilet paper by the thousands so there is some left for others too. :3
Overall for now my life is pretty much the same as before. We have a bit of food stocked so we won't need to go shopping for a while, other than that things go like normal. But that's not the case for most of the country.
Our government for ONCE is actually doing the right thing in many ways regarding handling the situation. Schools closed and moved to distance education via the Internet and the re-purposing of a state TV, employment laws were temporarily modified to make it easier for employers to adapt, but most importantly, there is one action in particular that's a very good news for me and my mother:
The govt suspended ALL loan payments completely for individuals until the end of the year. (And until June for companies.) That means nobody has to pay a single cent until then. And my mother has some pretty large monthly payments that would have been near impossible to keep up with her decreased salary now with her workplace closed. Moreover, the govt also announced that in sectors that are heavily impacted by the situation (and my mother's job is one such) employers gain temporary exemption from several fees that are part of the combined "taxes" on salaries, and if I understand correctly, that means people in these sectors will get to keep a significantly larger percentage of their gross salaries, which again would be great for my mother. We will see soon.
In the other hand though, some events are... worrying. As of today, the Hungarian Military takes control of over 140 companies that were deemed critical for keeping the infrastructure working. Combined units of military, police and "catastrophe defense" will be sent to these companies to oversee their operation. And in one hand protecting critical infrastructure is important but at this point this action feels a bit... too early? Too excessive? Remember, our Prime Minister, Viktor Orbán is an anti-democratic hate-mongering dictator-wannabe. I don't want to start any conspiracy theories but this move so early feels unjustified and makes me feel uneasy. In addition, military will now patrol the streets of several towns and cities, especially those that have military facilities nearby... for reasons? Again, feels excessive... it's not like we are in a zombie apocalypse. But... we will see. Maybe Orbán is just having fun playing with his toys.
I'll keep you updated if anything of interest happens.
Until then, stay safe and healthy, remember to wash your paws and don't buy toilet paper by the thousands so there is some left for others too. :3
Coronavirus situation and me...
General | Posted 6 years ago As you know, the Coronavirus outbreak is just about to hit Europe full force. Italy already went to hell and the healthcare system practically collapsed, Germany went from 1567 confirmed cases to 2369 overnight, and it's only a matter of time, probably days until it hits my country Hungary too.
Hungary declared state of emergency a few days ago. We already have 16 confirmed cases, growing every day, and there have been several incidents of total incompetence, such as an infected person being treated by several doctors with no protective gear, who are still working and have not even been tested, or our Prime Minister specifically refusing to close down schools.
And this whole situation impacts me pretty badly in two ways:
1; In past months, my mother was helping me out financially because due to my mental health my productivity, and thus commission income was minimal. But she works in a theater, and theaters have been closed by government order, and will remain closed for a long time, during which time my mother's salary drops to less than a third of what she normally earns so she won't be able to help me should I need it again.
2; Hungary has a famously bad healthcare system and we already don't have enough sanitizer and other supplies, when the outbreak didn't even really hit yet. So my prediction is that our healthcare system will collapse too. Maybe (hopefully) not as badly as Italy, but bad enough to create chaos. I hope I'm wrong.
Then there is the fact that even if my productivity will do fine, I have no idea how the situation will affect commission sales.
For the moment, I'm safe and fine.
But things could get ugly here real quick, and there is a chance that I'll be forced to ask for your help in the coming weeks/months. I really hope I won't need to do that, but if it comes to that, you will know why it's happening.
Stay safe and stay healthy!
Storm
Hungary declared state of emergency a few days ago. We already have 16 confirmed cases, growing every day, and there have been several incidents of total incompetence, such as an infected person being treated by several doctors with no protective gear, who are still working and have not even been tested, or our Prime Minister specifically refusing to close down schools.
And this whole situation impacts me pretty badly in two ways:
1; In past months, my mother was helping me out financially because due to my mental health my productivity, and thus commission income was minimal. But she works in a theater, and theaters have been closed by government order, and will remain closed for a long time, during which time my mother's salary drops to less than a third of what she normally earns so she won't be able to help me should I need it again.
2; Hungary has a famously bad healthcare system and we already don't have enough sanitizer and other supplies, when the outbreak didn't even really hit yet. So my prediction is that our healthcare system will collapse too. Maybe (hopefully) not as badly as Italy, but bad enough to create chaos. I hope I'm wrong.
Then there is the fact that even if my productivity will do fine, I have no idea how the situation will affect commission sales.
For the moment, I'm safe and fine.
But things could get ugly here real quick, and there is a chance that I'll be forced to ask for your help in the coming weeks/months. I really hope I won't need to do that, but if it comes to that, you will know why it's happening.
Stay safe and stay healthy!
Storm
A new year, a new hope
General | Posted 6 years ago Dear friends, patrons and followers!
Happy new year!
One year has came to an end, but more importantly, another has begun. People like to make new year resolutions that they conveniently forget 5 minutes later - I rather reflect upon the past year, where did I get, what did I achieve, where did I succeed or fail, and then make plans for the next year.
2019 was a rollercoaster. There have been some great times and some really bad times. I didn't progress as well as I hoped, but I did learn a lot, and most importantly, the vision of where do I want to take my life and my art became more clear. I think I'm finally finding my true artistic voice.
So my plans for 2020 are these:
- Beating procrastination once and for all and building up a creative productive momentum.
- Take better care of my physical and mental health. This includes eating better, exercising and meditating daily, and finding a therapist I can talk to regularly.
- Finishing my website and setting up my blog, and a print store.
- Continue exploring my artistic vision and creating more and more personal art to fully find and develop my artistic voice and style.
- Growing my Patreon so that I can focus more on personal art and be less at the mercy of commission income.
While all these goals interlace, probably the most important is growing Patreon. Currently my problem is that I have spend almost all of my creative energy on commission work just to have food to eat and pay my bills, and this leaves little to no room for personal art where I could truly express myself and do the type of art I really want to do. If I could build up Patreon to cover most of my basic needs it would mean I can spend most of my energy on personal work, and do fewer commissions that are more selective, but in turn I can give them more attention as well.
My latest submission is an example of what happens when I get to pursue my personal vision. I feel really happy about that piece, both overall and technique-wise, as I have recently refined my brushwork and this is the first piece finished like that. I want to make more like it, and I especially want to make more slice of life scenes, and scenes inspired by eastern cultures and my travels in India and West-Tibet.
Speaking of, forgive me for the plug but if you like that last piece, and/or you want to see more of my personal art, slice of life, travel, fantasy pieces and where I can take my vision, please consider becoming part off the journey by supporting me on Patreon. :) Every little bit helps and brings me closer to my artistic dreams.
So, to close this, I want to thank you - all of you - for your support, regardless of how you show it. Thank you for looking at my art, for watching, favoriting, thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts and feedback. Thank you for the kind words, good wishes, and thank you for believing in me. And of course thank you those who became my patrons. My life would be so much worse without you all - and I mean it seriously. Sharing my art with you, and feeling appreciated is the main force pushing me forward. I do what I do for you. I make art and share it for you. Even when I'm asking you to support me, it's for you because I want to be able to make more art, and better art, for YOU.
Thank you all. See you around in 2020! :)
Happy new year!
One year has came to an end, but more importantly, another has begun. People like to make new year resolutions that they conveniently forget 5 minutes later - I rather reflect upon the past year, where did I get, what did I achieve, where did I succeed or fail, and then make plans for the next year.
2019 was a rollercoaster. There have been some great times and some really bad times. I didn't progress as well as I hoped, but I did learn a lot, and most importantly, the vision of where do I want to take my life and my art became more clear. I think I'm finally finding my true artistic voice.
So my plans for 2020 are these:
- Beating procrastination once and for all and building up a creative productive momentum.
- Take better care of my physical and mental health. This includes eating better, exercising and meditating daily, and finding a therapist I can talk to regularly.
- Finishing my website and setting up my blog, and a print store.
- Continue exploring my artistic vision and creating more and more personal art to fully find and develop my artistic voice and style.
- Growing my Patreon so that I can focus more on personal art and be less at the mercy of commission income.
While all these goals interlace, probably the most important is growing Patreon. Currently my problem is that I have spend almost all of my creative energy on commission work just to have food to eat and pay my bills, and this leaves little to no room for personal art where I could truly express myself and do the type of art I really want to do. If I could build up Patreon to cover most of my basic needs it would mean I can spend most of my energy on personal work, and do fewer commissions that are more selective, but in turn I can give them more attention as well.
My latest submission is an example of what happens when I get to pursue my personal vision. I feel really happy about that piece, both overall and technique-wise, as I have recently refined my brushwork and this is the first piece finished like that. I want to make more like it, and I especially want to make more slice of life scenes, and scenes inspired by eastern cultures and my travels in India and West-Tibet.
Speaking of, forgive me for the plug but if you like that last piece, and/or you want to see more of my personal art, slice of life, travel, fantasy pieces and where I can take my vision, please consider becoming part off the journey by supporting me on Patreon. :) Every little bit helps and brings me closer to my artistic dreams.
So, to close this, I want to thank you - all of you - for your support, regardless of how you show it. Thank you for looking at my art, for watching, favoriting, thank you for commenting and sharing your thoughts and feedback. Thank you for the kind words, good wishes, and thank you for believing in me. And of course thank you those who became my patrons. My life would be so much worse without you all - and I mean it seriously. Sharing my art with you, and feeling appreciated is the main force pushing me forward. I do what I do for you. I make art and share it for you. Even when I'm asking you to support me, it's for you because I want to be able to make more art, and better art, for YOU.
Thank you all. See you around in 2020! :)
COMMISSIONS OPEN!
General | Posted 6 years agoDear wonderful people!
I have just put together an actual price sheet finally, and would like to use this opportunity to remind you that I'm open for commissions. :) If you would like to know more, please visit the link below:
[ Commission information ]
[ Commission information ]
[ Commission information ]Back to life - post EF report - current plans
General | Posted 6 years ago Finally for the first time since I came home from Berlin I could sleep properly again. And so, it's time time to spin up the engines and get to work!
Eurofurence was great, though I was missing being part of the Art Show this year, and not having a room at the Estrel this year also made things way more complicated and tiresome than they should have been. Hopefully next year these will both be remedied. But regardless, it was still great, especially since I traveled to Berlin several days earlier, to spend some time with my lovely mare Kyera.
Overall EF gave me lots of inspiration and motivation as well as new ideas. Some people suffer from Post-Con Depression, I rather have Post-Con Motivation. :D The bottleneck is still my mental issues as before (depression, anxiety, procrastination, etc.) so I'm back to working on fixing those, and hopefully the inspiration and motivation gathered during my trip will provide some fuel for that.
I'll eventually also give a try to that public insurance covered psychologist my local doctor recommended... I just need to call the doctor again because I misplayed the piece of paper with the number he gave me. I still have serious doubts because Hungarian public healthcare is extremely bad, but at the very least I need to give this a try to decide, because a private therapist would be so extremely expensive that it's absolutely out of the question.
For the present moment however, I need to focus on productivity. I have taken on a new illustration before EF that I'm really excited about, so that's my top priority right now. I also want to work on some personal pieces as well as finally putting together a proper price sheet image that I can pass around.
By the way, I have an open slot for illustration at the moment, and also open for smaller jobs like icons! ;)
So let's get to work!
Eurofurence was great, though I was missing being part of the Art Show this year, and not having a room at the Estrel this year also made things way more complicated and tiresome than they should have been. Hopefully next year these will both be remedied. But regardless, it was still great, especially since I traveled to Berlin several days earlier, to spend some time with my lovely mare Kyera.
Overall EF gave me lots of inspiration and motivation as well as new ideas. Some people suffer from Post-Con Depression, I rather have Post-Con Motivation. :D The bottleneck is still my mental issues as before (depression, anxiety, procrastination, etc.) so I'm back to working on fixing those, and hopefully the inspiration and motivation gathered during my trip will provide some fuel for that.
I'll eventually also give a try to that public insurance covered psychologist my local doctor recommended... I just need to call the doctor again because I misplayed the piece of paper with the number he gave me. I still have serious doubts because Hungarian public healthcare is extremely bad, but at the very least I need to give this a try to decide, because a private therapist would be so extremely expensive that it's absolutely out of the question.
For the present moment however, I need to focus on productivity. I have taken on a new illustration before EF that I'm really excited about, so that's my top priority right now. I also want to work on some personal pieces as well as finally putting together a proper price sheet image that I can pass around.
By the way, I have an open slot for illustration at the moment, and also open for smaller jobs like icons! ;)
So let's get to work!
Fuck this day in particular...
General | Posted 6 years agoSo after suffering with anxiety lately, I finally felt like I can make proper progress. Then, this is my day so far:
I just woke up, let's make a coffee and start painting!
Oh, I need to upgrade my system...
*it takes over an hour*
Finally done... let's paint!
Oh shit, need to buy some stuff and the nearby shop is closed...
One hour of walking to the closest open store and back, on the way I step into a deep buddy puddle with slippers... Fucking great...
Finally back... I wasted hours, I'm getting exhausted but finally, LET'S PAINT!
... THE WHEEL OF MY CHAIR BREAKS AS I SIT DOWN.
So now I have to travel an hour to the nearest home depot, get fucking wheels for half of my weekly food budget, then travel another hour back home. Meanwhile my knees already hurt because I have to type this kneeling in front of the desk.
Just fuck this day, seriously...
I'm alive!
General | Posted 6 years ago Dear friends and followers!
I would like to apologize for my recent inactivity. As many of you know I have a bunch of chronic health problems, including mental ones. In the past weeks I was completely consumed by anxiety, and for the most part was unable to do any work at all. It is especially annoying since I've just spent some great time with my love at Zodiacon, and I came back home feeling revitalized, happy and motivated...
Then anxiety happened. Just like that. It makes no sense, it knows no logic, and needs no reason, it just happens. But it's finally over.
I'm feeling alright again, so I'm jumping right in the middle of work, because there is a lot to catch up on. One commission was sitting at nearly finished state for these past weeks, while another was stuck at the early stage. I'm about to finish up the first one now and then dive right into the other. I'm just really glad that I have such nice and amazing clients who have shown me great compassion and patience when I'm dealing with these issues. Still, it pains me to keep them waiting like this. But sadly, it seems to be out of my control.
But let's stay positive, like I always do! I feel good now, Zodiacon was amazing, and Eurofurence is right around the corner! Hopefully I can build up some consistent productivity now, so that you can enjoy more or less regular uploads, like I always wanted to.
So stay tuned, and thank you for bearing with me.
I would like to apologize for my recent inactivity. As many of you know I have a bunch of chronic health problems, including mental ones. In the past weeks I was completely consumed by anxiety, and for the most part was unable to do any work at all. It is especially annoying since I've just spent some great time with my love at Zodiacon, and I came back home feeling revitalized, happy and motivated...
Then anxiety happened. Just like that. It makes no sense, it knows no logic, and needs no reason, it just happens. But it's finally over.
I'm feeling alright again, so I'm jumping right in the middle of work, because there is a lot to catch up on. One commission was sitting at nearly finished state for these past weeks, while another was stuck at the early stage. I'm about to finish up the first one now and then dive right into the other. I'm just really glad that I have such nice and amazing clients who have shown me great compassion and patience when I'm dealing with these issues. Still, it pains me to keep them waiting like this. But sadly, it seems to be out of my control.
But let's stay positive, like I always do! I feel good now, Zodiacon was amazing, and Eurofurence is right around the corner! Hopefully I can build up some consistent productivity now, so that you can enjoy more or less regular uploads, like I always wanted to.
So stay tuned, and thank you for bearing with me.
I have enabled the Shinies system... we will see.
General | Posted 6 years ago So, in case you haven't read the site announcement, do so first.
In short, FA added a feature that lets people tip artists using PayPal checkout. Generally, I don't trust FA much, especially wouldn't with money, but the only information I had to supply was my PayPal address, and when you click the button it takes you to PayPal's own checkout. It's kinda like Ko-Fi.
So it seems safe to me but use it at your own responsibility. For now I enabled it to see what happens... I'll know more once someone actually used it, and/or once I used it to tip someone else.
Meanwhile, if you would like to support me but you don't trust the shinies, you can always join me at Patreon! :)
In short, FA added a feature that lets people tip artists using PayPal checkout. Generally, I don't trust FA much, especially wouldn't with money, but the only information I had to supply was my PayPal address, and when you click the button it takes you to PayPal's own checkout. It's kinda like Ko-Fi.
So it seems safe to me but use it at your own responsibility. For now I enabled it to see what happens... I'll know more once someone actually used it, and/or once I used it to tip someone else.
Meanwhile, if you would like to support me but you don't trust the shinies, you can always join me at Patreon! :)
Today I saw the World in it's true beauty after 20 years!
General | Posted 6 years ago I wear glasses since 2nd or 3rd grade. Over the years my eyes gradually degraded and my glasses became stronger and stronger. Today my eyes are 6 and 6.5 diopter. I knew the glasses add a lot of distortion, chromatic aberration and other issues to my vision but I could never really feel how much.
Then today I've tried contact lenses for the first time in my life. And it was AMAZING!
The distortion is gone, everything is bigger (as glasses make everything smaller, about 10% in my case), everything is way more three dimensional, my peripheral vision is clear, the frame of the glasses is gone from my vision, no messing with constantly dirty and scratched glasses, or water speckles if there is rain, but not only that! To my great surprise, colors and contrast are better too! Everything looks more vibrant, more dynamic. More real.
The difference is mind blowing. I became quite emotional, for being able to see the World properly for the first time in 20 years or so.
For now I can only wear them for a few hours a day, my eyes need to gradually get used to them. Going back to glasses after wearing them sucked so much, I could now see clearly how much worse my vision through glasses is. But I'm really looking forward to see how much of a difference they will make when working on art.
Then today I've tried contact lenses for the first time in my life. And it was AMAZING!
The distortion is gone, everything is bigger (as glasses make everything smaller, about 10% in my case), everything is way more three dimensional, my peripheral vision is clear, the frame of the glasses is gone from my vision, no messing with constantly dirty and scratched glasses, or water speckles if there is rain, but not only that! To my great surprise, colors and contrast are better too! Everything looks more vibrant, more dynamic. More real.
The difference is mind blowing. I became quite emotional, for being able to see the World properly for the first time in 20 years or so.
For now I can only wear them for a few hours a day, my eyes need to gradually get used to them. Going back to glasses after wearing them sucked so much, I could now see clearly how much worse my vision through glasses is. But I'm really looking forward to see how much of a difference they will make when working on art.
Recovering slowly
General | Posted 6 years ago Dear friends and followers!
I'm still recovering from what is likely the flu. I'm past the worst part but I still have slight fever in the mornings, cough a lot, and generally feel week and tired. My back suffered greatly from the coughing due to the strong and uncontrollable muscle movements. It's better now but it still hurts.
I have been referred to a rheumatologist by my GP (according to Google translate GP is the term for the generic local doctor I'm assigned to based on my home address) to check out my back pain. He also referred me for a full blood test to learn more about my blood pressure problems. These both happened before I went down with the flu, so only now do I feel good enough to actually call and get an appointment for these.
I have also asked my GP about if it's possible to talk to a psychologist about my depression and other problems under the generic state health insurance I have. He gave me a number to call, which I'll likely do call eventually. I wanted to get help with my mental health for a long time but therapists are extremely expensive, pretty much only affordable by the rich, and I have not much trust in the state healthcare system, which is famous for being extremely bad. But I'll give this psychologist a try and see... in worst case I won't go again. But I'll need to gather some emotional strength to do this.
So, about work:
The last week I was forcing myself to my limits and some to work while sick, to get a personal piece done I wanted to submit for the Rijksmuseum's call for Rembrandt inspired art. I had to make several compromises due to the sickness but I have still finished and submitted it just in time. I'm going to upload it here very soon.
So today I'm still resting, and from tomorrow I'm back to work on commissions. I'll probably still be sick for a while, this crap is known to last for weeks before fully clearing up, but I can't waste more time. I have two ongoing illustrations, one is maybe 80% done, the other just barely started. I want to complete these in order as soon as I reasonably can. I'm also planning a few YCHs in the near future but can't tell when can I do that.
So thank you everyone for your patience and support, and expect my productivity to slowly increase from now on again.
I'm still recovering from what is likely the flu. I'm past the worst part but I still have slight fever in the mornings, cough a lot, and generally feel week and tired. My back suffered greatly from the coughing due to the strong and uncontrollable muscle movements. It's better now but it still hurts.
I have been referred to a rheumatologist by my GP (according to Google translate GP is the term for the generic local doctor I'm assigned to based on my home address) to check out my back pain. He also referred me for a full blood test to learn more about my blood pressure problems. These both happened before I went down with the flu, so only now do I feel good enough to actually call and get an appointment for these.
I have also asked my GP about if it's possible to talk to a psychologist about my depression and other problems under the generic state health insurance I have. He gave me a number to call, which I'll likely do call eventually. I wanted to get help with my mental health for a long time but therapists are extremely expensive, pretty much only affordable by the rich, and I have not much trust in the state healthcare system, which is famous for being extremely bad. But I'll give this psychologist a try and see... in worst case I won't go again. But I'll need to gather some emotional strength to do this.
So, about work:
The last week I was forcing myself to my limits and some to work while sick, to get a personal piece done I wanted to submit for the Rijksmuseum's call for Rembrandt inspired art. I had to make several compromises due to the sickness but I have still finished and submitted it just in time. I'm going to upload it here very soon.
So today I'm still resting, and from tomorrow I'm back to work on commissions. I'll probably still be sick for a while, this crap is known to last for weeks before fully clearing up, but I can't waste more time. I have two ongoing illustrations, one is maybe 80% done, the other just barely started. I want to complete these in order as soon as I reasonably can. I'm also planning a few YCHs in the near future but can't tell when can I do that.
So thank you everyone for your patience and support, and expect my productivity to slowly increase from now on again.
Health update
General | Posted 6 years ago Dear friends and watchers!
First of all I would like to once again thank everyone who joined me on my Patreon, either as a Follower or a Patron. Your support means a lot, and motivates me to get better soon so I can paint more pretty and sexy things for you to enjoy. :)
So as for my health... after dealing with back pain, and then what was likely a blood pressure issue, now I'm coughing and have a mild fever... Stop it Life, it's not funny! :(
On the bright side the dizziness ceased after one and a half days, and my blood pressure is more or less in the normal range, though still very slightly towards the higher end of it. I keep monitoring.
I have managed to make a bit of progress with art as well, though today again was unproductive thanks to the cough and fever. Let's hope it doesn't last long.
I'll keep you updated. And once again, thank you very much for your support!
First of all I would like to once again thank everyone who joined me on my Patreon, either as a Follower or a Patron. Your support means a lot, and motivates me to get better soon so I can paint more pretty and sexy things for you to enjoy. :)
So as for my health... after dealing with back pain, and then what was likely a blood pressure issue, now I'm coughing and have a mild fever... Stop it Life, it's not funny! :(
On the bright side the dizziness ceased after one and a half days, and my blood pressure is more or less in the normal range, though still very slightly towards the higher end of it. I keep monitoring.
I have managed to make a bit of progress with art as well, though today again was unproductive thanks to the cough and fever. Let's hope it doesn't last long.
I'll keep you updated. And once again, thank you very much for your support!
More health problems. :(
General | Posted 6 years ago As you know, I've recently reported having health issues slowing me down. I was about to say I'm getting better, but instead I developed new problems.
Since yesterday afternoon I feel constantly dizzy and sometimes nauseous. I visited my doctor today, but there were no any immediate symptoms other than relatively high blood pressure. I am now to measure and record my pressure twice a day for a week before returning.
I was starting to get back to working but now I feel terrible again. I'll have to try regardless but I really hope the dizziness goes away.
That said, I hate to say things like this but if you were considering supporting me, this may be a good time. I'm not in an emergency at the moment, but commissions being my only source of income, I'm starting to feel concerned. So if you were to have a look at my Patreon and consider the possibility of pledging I would greatly appreciate.
Here is the link: https://www.patreon.com/stormengineer
Thank you for reading this, and as always, thank you for being part of my artistic journey, and stay tuned for more art!
Since yesterday afternoon I feel constantly dizzy and sometimes nauseous. I visited my doctor today, but there were no any immediate symptoms other than relatively high blood pressure. I am now to measure and record my pressure twice a day for a week before returning.
I was starting to get back to working but now I feel terrible again. I'll have to try regardless but I really hope the dizziness goes away.
That said, I hate to say things like this but if you were considering supporting me, this may be a good time. I'm not in an emergency at the moment, but commissions being my only source of income, I'm starting to feel concerned. So if you were to have a look at my Patreon and consider the possibility of pledging I would greatly appreciate.
Here is the link: https://www.patreon.com/stormengineer
Thank you for reading this, and as always, thank you for being part of my artistic journey, and stay tuned for more art!
Health issues - I'm slow
General | Posted 7 years agoHey friends and followers!
I would like to apologize for my recent inactivity. Sadly I've been dealing with health problems including lower back pain lately, which impacted my productivity a lot. I'm trying my best to become productive again but I can't promise anything until at least my back is improved. I'm likely going to see a doctor about it soon.
Stay tuned!
! ! ! PATREON LAUNCHED ! ! !
General | Posted 7 years agoDear friends!
Today is an important milestone in my artistic journey! My Patron has just launched!
https://www.patreon.com/stormengineer
https://www.patreon.com/stormengineer
https://www.patreon.com/stormengineer
Come and join me over there to become part of the journey! :)
