Flannels and campfires
General | Posted 3 months agoOne month from today I will be in Colorado Rockies again. Same old camp, same old mountain. I get to hunt with my Dad again, I do not take that for granted.
September typically marks the end of the busy season for me. Around this time, with Labor Day around the corner, I usually can't wait to ditch this place and get on the road. Knock on wood, though, it's been a pretty smooth work season. Guests have been great, nothing catastrophic has broken. The end is in sight this year without me really realizing it.
I've made the bulk of my income for the year, it's about time to slow down and live. Here's to cold weather, bright stars, and good memories. It's going to be a great year.
September typically marks the end of the busy season for me. Around this time, with Labor Day around the corner, I usually can't wait to ditch this place and get on the road. Knock on wood, though, it's been a pretty smooth work season. Guests have been great, nothing catastrophic has broken. The end is in sight this year without me really realizing it.
I've made the bulk of my income for the year, it's about time to slow down and live. Here's to cold weather, bright stars, and good memories. It's going to be a great year.
Not worth reading. I just felt like writing something.
General | Posted 5 months agoIt's raining.
I'm up too late.
Feeling nostalgic for times I never had. Missing friends I've lost. I'm not in a bad mood, just a bit melancholic. I feel like writing but don't know what to write. So I'll ramble here briefly. Here, in a space I know no one.
I feel like I don't know how to make friends anymore. The older I get the fewer people I have around me that I can call a friend. I suppose that's natural but I know I'm worse than others about reaching out and saying "hi". I put up walls. I want friends, but I'm scared to make them. I keep my distance and that gap never closes. I'm good at acquaintances. I'm a good "work friend". But honest friendships... Relationships... No. I build walls and I don't let people in. Am I scared of rejection? So I never give anyone the chance? I want to change but I really don't know how. I want to be honest and open and have REAL friendships.
I feel like I've never found my tribe, you know?
It's become too easy being by myself and I don't even try to reach out to people or make new friends anymore.
I don't like labels but I know I have social anxiety. I'm fine in work settings or in a situation where there is an obvious subject to talk about or problem to solve. But when it comes to being genuinely open and one-on-one it is very difficult.
It's all good. I like myself and I like my life. This is just something that I want to change. Perhaps stating that fact in writing will cause me to make some sort of change. Tonight is just a weird night. Missing dead friends. Missing lost friendships... Missing the kind of friendships I've never had.
I'm up too late.
Feeling nostalgic for times I never had. Missing friends I've lost. I'm not in a bad mood, just a bit melancholic. I feel like writing but don't know what to write. So I'll ramble here briefly. Here, in a space I know no one.
I feel like I don't know how to make friends anymore. The older I get the fewer people I have around me that I can call a friend. I suppose that's natural but I know I'm worse than others about reaching out and saying "hi". I put up walls. I want friends, but I'm scared to make them. I keep my distance and that gap never closes. I'm good at acquaintances. I'm a good "work friend". But honest friendships... Relationships... No. I build walls and I don't let people in. Am I scared of rejection? So I never give anyone the chance? I want to change but I really don't know how. I want to be honest and open and have REAL friendships.
I feel like I've never found my tribe, you know?
It's become too easy being by myself and I don't even try to reach out to people or make new friends anymore.
I don't like labels but I know I have social anxiety. I'm fine in work settings or in a situation where there is an obvious subject to talk about or problem to solve. But when it comes to being genuinely open and one-on-one it is very difficult.
It's all good. I like myself and I like my life. This is just something that I want to change. Perhaps stating that fact in writing will cause me to make some sort of change. Tonight is just a weird night. Missing dead friends. Missing lost friendships... Missing the kind of friendships I've never had.
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