Uhhhhh........I just got sick again, i'm getting tired of this, *Coughs* i should be better again but i might take my free time and finish up a artwork piece and then well idk lay around, just watching fur video's two make me happy, as well listing two Michael Jackson's music.

I realize now that being gay cause of bad realtionships is stupid i still love women, Not Only that some freinds have conveince me two be bi again, grant it i still favor men 80% two 20% women ratio, and i have a male mate, Sometimes Bad realtionships can change you you really are, but I just don't know what two belive in anymore in life, I'm afarid i'm going two screw it up like i do with many things.

well i just got promoted two our JROTC battlion S3 which the is the S3 responsiblity is the Operations Officer, so i have two keep everyone updated of upcoming events and people have two come two me to make sure that a event can happen it's basically a very responsible job. Also it's my mates birthday Love ya babes ^_^
 Spaxter_The_Husky

Well this is my first TMI tuesday you can ask me anything idc what it is :p

Also Today after school for 2 hours I helped with our Schools JROTC battalion at a food bank called Second Harvest we sacked restock and shipped out i think 800+ bags i think so i'm very happy for doing that today and this friday is a MP mission for our home town football game north side vs south side bring it on north siders were going two destroy you >:O

Alright i turned 17 today so i'm like yea X3
now i just need two get a driver's license still jeez i'm falling behind on that >.>
but anyways tell me when your birthday is so i can say Happy birthday on your pages.

He was aperntly leaving FA or was saying he wasn't going two stay on that much and i kind of smart off two him and now i'm on his block list. I never mean two be a smart ass i wish i can get him back, Y THE FUCK AM I SUCH A SCREW UP. *cries in the coner* Cutie paws if you ever read this i'm so sorry for what i've done i shoulnt act like a smart ass and a jack ass two you and now like some other people in the fandom you now hate me ;w; *cries more* ;(

I just realize i need two forget the past like it's a fact. I'm looking twoards the future so an angel can carry me on it's wings of all the goods i do as a human. huh what ya say that i have nothing, y dont you shut up get a life you pathic peice of **** everyone can drill me, kill me, screw me, beat me, but no one can ever destory my sprit that's a fact jack.
Hmmmm idk this is my first rap lyrics i've been thinking becoming a rapper but it's like idk if i'm good at it. 4 starters i'm not that good at ryhming but i can learn form some people that i know that are rappers in my high school ^W^

No matter how much i run away form my past, it keeps on finding me and haunting me, it's really making me go insane.My ex has made a FA and she in two months have improved so much in art look at where i am. i haven't buldge one bit.....I'm still the shitty aritst when i joined FA. Also my Freind in RL is freinds with some old freinds my ex knows. So that dosent help one bit everyday i have nightmares over and over again, i can't sleep.......Insianty is the next step i know this i've be on the fray ends of sanity before. And I wish that my ex can accept my apolgize and all my old freinds can come back, but.......they never will and every time i see them online on FA or at any Cons i will realize i haven't moved on bit i'm still that fucking shitty person that i was my ex was right i will never get better......I Don't want two live the rest of my life dealing with this pain......dealing with the FUCKING fact that i screwed up......The pain will get two me shortly followed of me pulling the trigger.....I'm tired of seeing my past, i just want all my old freinds two know i'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything i did two you, i now realize that i was the stupid one i now realize i didn't change and now i realize i can't ever get you guys back.......That is the greastest mistake i ever did in my life.....Y DID I COMMITED SIN. Must of been my fucking hormones, my lust my anger. Also the fact that i'm a fucking liar dosent help, SHE was right i will never get better......God kill me now......So it's only a matter of time for me killing myself or not intentionally killing people around me cause of insanity.......My past haunts me and it will the rest of my pathetic life........So still think i'm the loyal SWD you use two know? If my ex ever see's this idk how she would react, but she would prolly be happy she was fucking right...... heh never thought i was a pile of shit........

The music teacher said i'm good enough for Advance Choir so now i'm in Advance yet again i couldn't do it without  NIIC this guy inspired me to do this so another shout out :3

So i went in after school today and singed for our high school Choir teacher she said i have the vocal skills two defiantly improve my talent, but i really couldn't done it with out the inspiration of  NIIC
This man has inspire me two try out music in a way i thought he would never. Shout out for you Kyle :3

So yesterday our school bus died on a hill and another school bus picked us up and dropped us off at the middle school where we get on our actual bus. So what happen was i was just talking with a friend then i happened two notice as i look over my shoulder, there she had a note book in her hand and i saw a drawing. But guess what it wasn't any drawing it was a fursona drawing. So I asked her "is that a fursona drawing?" She went EEEEEE and i'm like well i just met a new freind. She also makes fursuits and does very good at artwork as well. So she's teaching me how two draw furries better ^W^. Also she goes two my school and she's so happy she met me i'm like "nooo, i'm just the average fur nothing more" ^^;

Unbelievable, i thought this fandom was two be the best people in the world not full of common thieves this is like 10th time within two months of people stealing each others artwork i mean come on the original owner story is right here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4946137/
I hope he get's it back
On a side note i just puked this morning, I ate something that didn't go with my stomach and i'm going two be sick today :(. But don't worry i'll get over it I got two finish up a art piece today i'll do it while i'm sick idc as long as i get the job done ^^

Well sunday i went out walking and got 3 job applactions form diffrent places. But now i turned in all my job apps, the most likely place i will work at for my second job ever is pizza hut i have my interview on one of these two days thrusday (which is tomrrow) and then friday i'm so excited and nervous but i really want two work and get a job i miss work.... :(... But also eversince anthrocon our family is in a money situation and i prosmise them i'll find a job as fast as i can. Now my camp geiger job has been over for two weeks now, i finally went out look for some job apps and now i'm getting a interview, i need the money so our family can stay in our home. So wish me luck everyone ^^

I've been sick for the past two weeks and since i've been fighting it off the best i can now i've sumbcumed two it now i can barley move..... It's nothing two bad i hope. but i hope i can get better soon I don't wont to go two the doctors i don't feel like it.

I'm now considering commuting suicide because of the things i did with the twins...... then there's two much shit going on at home.....Work pretty much everywhere, and now my friends are cutting me off like i'm a freak on a leash or something.....I'm losing the will two live everyday when another one of my friends or people in general leave me like i'm worthless....... DO u have any idea what i feels LIKE knowing Ur a piece of shit that keeps screwing things up even though Ur nothing doing it on purpose..... Then knowing people can be cold hatred towards u in a heartbeat because of it...... I've already suicide attempt 15 times..... in the past three weeks...... and now i live the fact i'm a controlled freak because i pop HDAD pills two calm my nerves..... I've feeling less human and less alive every day i live..............Lonely, is a feeling that one person's heart can not bear two feel for long periods of time, for instance that one may loss himself in the feeling they receive form this burden.

I've committed some sin in the past month and now i can't get them back what so ever. They didn't die if that's what your thinking but when i lost them because i didn't follow there guidelines.....well now i can never speak with them again, and my heart is in a state where it feels like i should die...... Here's what happened...

I'm friends with these twins right we've been friends for a couple months and what i did was so stupid of me.... i send them some. not so appropriate pics and now there dad has cut them off form me forever, i told them i would change for good, but when i didn't became a sinner and start becoming a good boy again it was two late..... and now i lost my closet-est fur friends in my life ;-(

this week June 9th through the 15th was our 1st session on staff. ^^
now this week is session 2 so starting June 16th through June 22nd is second session. Hip Hip horay. I'm enjoying my job so far but right now i can't do anything with furry related artwork because i have no free time. so right now i can go two anthrocon as well my boss said i can so yea. XD

I made it on STAFF this year and i'm so excited. i'll be working form may 31st, too middle of July. I made it on dinning hall staff, so i'll be doing dishes for 7 full weeks -_-. But i don't care it's a great working experience ^^
Also this is a boy scout camping ground, so i'll be feeding a lot of hungry boys this summer, which were expecting over 2,000 boys this summer so it's going to be a busy year and another thing us staff that work at camp geiger we only get paid $300 bucks, another thing since i'm 16, i'll be working form 6am two 10pm not even getting paid that much...but i don't care i'm doing the job because i want two be there, and also it's going to be a great experience working with all the happy staff there as well HIP HIP HOARY!!!! :D

finally after being alone for a year, i found a new lover. She is 14 but i don't care we love each other to death, We both wan't to be together. She is a furry she doesn't have a fur affinity but i'm teaching her how to set one up later this upcoming week. So keep a look out for her page. Her fursona's name is Zero such a cute name in my opinion.

I had my eagle presented to me this last sunday, i had my eagle since Nov,9 2012. Pictures are coming soon on FA so keep a look out :3

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:33446551 someone mom got caught in a crossfire shooting that happen in NYC so people spread the word because this fur needs anywhere form $400-$500 to see his mother. So please everyone help this fur see his mom.

You know as guy ladies do you like a man if he leaves hair on his chest that leads down his happy trail, or do you like a guy with a hairy chest. I'm already 16 and i have like hair that my hair growing growing on my chest should i shave it or let it grow, but if you shave it it comes in thicker, Men and women plz respond this is a really personal question that needs to be answer, I'm really confused????????

it only came out april 13 and it has already over 224 mil views. So speared the word plz let the entire furry community find out about this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASO_zypdnsQ
This just came out like two weeks ago, i believe it only had 5mil views till three day's ago so a lot of people have been spreading the word since then, lets see if the furry fandom want's in on the action as well. I was shocked personally.

So we all know how everyone has a type of religion,sex oration (homo,hetero,bi),Personal believes, Background knowledge and most importantly emotions. So everyone think's that when someone has a different job then them, or does something completely different. Humans causally or usually love to say, "that's sometime i cant do." But in fact they can, it's that the person is really saying. "i wasn't trained for that job, or i found no interest of doing a job as such." Humans do make these occupations/assume. "that's impossible." Okay i can see why people want to make these claims. Think about it like this, Science has proven that all human DNA is 99.9% similar. It's the 0.01% that makes each and one of use unique in one appearance. Not unique through a persons job, a job is something that a person doe's, but need's to train themselves or learn that skill on their own. So why do people have to speculate that each and every person is different? Is it the fact everyone choose's there life on there own or is it through that 0.01% of DNA that makes us stick out from one another? I don't know? The world can tell me the answer one by one starting with you.

I'm starting on my Feral sketching for the first time, So its going to be something new for a 16 year old artist. I Just need some pointer's if i tend to make my own fursona's fur patterns and sketches.