Another year, another distinguished lack of accomplishment.

I'm not writing this to say I'm shutting down my account or anything, so whoever might care about that, you don't have to worry. But honestly, I'm just not sure what I'm doing here anymore..

I came here because it was kind of an interesting community, with a lot of creative artists and some really beautiful and impressive artwork.. And I heard that it would kind of be a good place to meet people, make friends, kind of have a community, which is something I have always, and probably will always continue to struggle with.

But I've been here for six years now.. and honestly, I have very little to show for it.. I haven't met hardly anyone, and those I have were brief, singular conversations.. I thought I would take up drawing.. I haven't... That maybe I would get back into writing, and at least have some feedback on my work.. I didn't, and received none on even the simplistic writing I posted at first... I'm not fishing for pity, but I really just don't have any idea what to do.. I thought maybe I could create some characters and do some role playing, meet new people, that kind of stuff.. It just never happened, and to be honest, I still don't know how to go about it.. I'm sorry, but going up to someone to be like "I like the way you draw porn. You want to have cyber snu-snu?" isn't something I can easily bring myself to do. It feels just as awkward as if it was being said face to face on the street. And like in everything else.. A simple "Hi" will get you maybe two sentences of back and forth conversation before it completely falls flat.. Maybe it just showcases my failings at social graces more than anything, but I just feel that there should be so much more, and that it isn't fair that no matter what I try, I will always be that person with their nose to the glass going "That looks like fun."

Even here, if I'm brutally honest, is little more than writing to myself, since more than likely the only people who read this are people I've known alot longer than having been on FA, and have already had this discussion.

I've decided to look back on a few of my character designs and see if i can fluff / fill them out to be a little more complete.. This is always a frustrating self-defeating effort as i tend to design them to develop as they are used and roleplayed with, which never seems to occur, creating a glorious cycle of non-development. It's frustrating that i want to be somewhat original, despite i know "everything has been done before" but when it comes to physical description, it utterly fails me. I don't want to play the "it looks like her/him, just with this different" but half the time, i don't even know what they'd look like.. and i made them! i can describe every rune in someones sword or armor, every gemstone and nuance of their outfit, equipment, and even usually personality.. but when i look at them, it's just blank as to how they actually appear.

So I bored as usual online, so i derp on over to the games workshop site, to see what new, insanely overpriced pretty models they are releasing.. and i see a "Farsight Enclaves" digital book.. which claims to be "the rules for running a farsight themed army" so i go, oh neat, probably one of those 5-10 dollar books like Craftworld eldar or space wolves was.. no, try 35dollars.. and it clearly states "This is not a replacement for Codex: Tau Empires, but an excellent addition to it." ....a 35 dollar addition, to a 50 dollar book... are you fucking kidding me! 85 dollars just to use the fucking farsight enclaves? it's bad enough they Ruined the game in 6th edition by making any non-shooting army automatically lose, but fucking seriously? do you guys really think microtransactions on tabletop is a smart fucking idea.. "oh i spend 180 dollars on a rulebook and a pair of riptide suits so i automatically win.....why will nobody play me?" gee, i fucking wonder... idiots..

Yes i can still say fuck you games workshop, when you tell me a unit that can be used in any points game.. costs 185 points.. can survive 3 deathstrike missiles.. and destroy a baneblade, which costs almost 3x as much and can ONLY be used in apoc..

So, i finally got around to doing something it has taken me far too long to be able to do again.. Sat down and completed an adventure in Pathfinder (D&d without all the suck, for those who don't know) I ran "Crypt of the Everflame" with a few friends, and, despite a few hiccups the module had no clue to prepare for *ie having been written prior to the Advanced Players Guide* it really was alot of fun.. It acts alot like a tutorial adventure, making me think it will be great to keep for new playing groups, as it throws alot of basic adventuring monsters, situations, and problems, but without all the old "Why don't you know you can ask this!" problems most lvl 1 adventures run into... Sorry, Jimmy the fighter is probably not going to know that before he leaves town, he should ask any pertinent questions he can come up with, or that the questgiver might know more than just the quest briefing. But it was a fun module and hopefully soon I can run Masks of the Living God, it's sequel, which will really throw the players for a loop as it changes tack rather abruptly and will force them to really consider their characters and their actions and choices..

Okay, i just read what seems like one of the dumber things i've read lately.. the game "The Last of Us" apparently takes place partway in boston *haven't played the game* and, predictably for any zombie game nowadays, ends up in the subway at some point. anyway, from what the story states, naughty dog decided, in an effort to make the game feel realistic, went online, found a picture of the boston mbta subway map, and put it in their game, ie, like you'd see in any subway station.. Apparently, the creator of the mbta map, is "fucking furious" about this apparent theft of ip, and demands compensation for unlawful use...

Seriously?

Can anyone really be that egotistic to think that because they drew something, FOR PUBLIC USE AND VIEWING, that it's some sort of huge crime that it is taken as such and used in the same exact way, merely in digital format... what is this guy thinking, that the game revolves around his subway map picture? that the last of us is merely an MBTA passenger simulator or something? It's a fething picture in a fething subway station! go to boston, there's like 10 of them in EVERY station, inside and out! I could understand if his picture was a private something that they used for the cover, or promotional events, or something that they were actually featuring... no, a public display map plastered on the side of a subway station, where it's Supposed to be and in reality exists, does not constitute unlawful use. what next, is boston going to try and claim that they are using "Such and such Subway station" without lawful permission? or maybe the name Boston itself. Or that one of the cars laying by the side of the road happens to be the same yellow as a boston taxi cab?

Sometimes people are so stupid, it's painful.

The title says it all.. Earlier today *as of this post* someone set off two bombs at the finish line to the Boston Marathon.. Without any discernable reason, they have caused the loss of two lives, and injured dozens of people. What the hell is so wrong with someone that they decide to attack people watching the Marathon... it's not like it's racist, or sexist, or even fucking competitive! Nobody was trying to promote a better ideal, or a political or religious opinion, there was no fucking Agenda being pushed, no statements being made.. and they blew them up anyway! I may not agree with radicalism in any way, shape or form, but atleast they have a reason for the actions they commit.. what the hell reason is there for planting bombs in the stands of people just out enjoying the day! And if it was some jackass who was out for personal revenge, why the fuck drag everyone else into your pissy vendetta! What did they do other than be there.. Wrong place, wrong time doesn't cut it! I hope they catch this asshole, and, unstable or not, they are punished severely for their actions. The only thankful thing is this was either impromptu, or incompetent, otherwise they could have cost even more people their lives.

So.. I just got to play the planetside 2 beta this morning.. and i have to say.. i don't think i'll ever play it again.. It is probably one of the worst examples of copy/paste shooter design i have ever encountered.. every gun looks Identical to each other, with only the transition from regular to heavy machine gun having a slight variance.. checked the "unlockable" guns, that so far all pretty much require station cash *way to go soe for moneygrubbing like a total bitch..* all of them are knock offs of the guns you already get.. the assault rifle has about 8 different variants, all look the same though stats or firing rate be a little different. oh, and if you want weapon options, grips, scopes, stocks, things like that.. hey guess what.. cert points! 100s of cert points each.

As for the vehicles.. anyone who's played planetside knows it was famed for it's vast and varied array of vehicles for combat.. yeah... now there is about 7... and their "Customization" ....well be prepared to spend 1000s of cert points to upgrade your Tires.. vehicle guns also followed a similar pattern, as there appeared to be only 3.. machine gun, light/med cannon, and mortar..

The cert system is no longer a customize your character however you want and specialize where you prefer, but now a dumber and oddly restrictive version of battlefields Class Experience leveling system. where you have certain.. albiet pointless upgrades to everything.. including 8.. i repeat 8.. upgrades to the Shocks on a sunderer transport.. all doing the same thing, and apparently on a +1 basis.

Combat i can't even comment on because the us west beta server was so damn laggy that as soon as i left the terran warpgate my screen would freeze for 6-7 seconds every 4 steps, so i barely bothered attempting combat. but from how the entire game felt, i assume it would feel clunky and uninteresting.

So, so much for a shooter I actually enjoyed, now buried under the same cookie cutter mold as almost every other shooter game.