So I took my GRE yesterday and I got a 150 on the verbal section and a 134 on the math part. I'm a bit disappointed that I only got 150 on the verbal part, but the math was brutal. I basically got 4 of the 40 questions correct since the lowest score you could get is 130. I definitely plan on retaking this test...and not waiting until the last minute to study.

I have alot of flaws (my opinion), but my biggest has to be that I am not descriptive enough when I write. I liken my writing to having sex; don't laugh, I'm serious. My writing is like having a one-night stand with a hot girl or guy you met at the club; you bang, you sleep and then you move on. I don't personally like that and truthfully I'd like my writing to be like having a long intimate session with your special someone. Writing, like sex as I've been told by my friends, is something that should be done slowly and with care.

Luckily, I've been practicing a bit being more descriptive and I think my next 3 stories that may or may not be posted before I leave for Japan, will be alot better than the ones I've been pumping out recently.

I am literally stunned and angry that the Saints traded Jimmy Graham away for a guy who was injured last year and essentially a 2nd round pick (even if its in the first round). TO make matters worse, you send him to the SEAHAWKS!!! WTF are they thinking down in NOLA? I get that we have salary cap issues, but did they really need to move Graham? Me thinks there was something brewing in the locker room that the public didn't know about.

Either way, I was depressed (honest to god) for about 4 hours after I heard the news. Yes, I take sports that seriously.

This is the year I personally find that special someone and lose my virginity.

As a present for graduation, I decided to take a 10 day trip to Japan. I'll be going solo for the first time and I'm super excited, but at the same time kind of scared; I've never traveled alone before.

Honestly, I thought I was passed the point where I'd be engorged in self-pity, but here I am I guess. I just don't get why I have to be so lonely? I don't think I've hurt anybody in my life or have said things that have made me a social pariah, so what is it I'm doing wrong?

Is this some kind of test because if it is, I'm probably failing it. I used to have no problem making friends in elementary school and now it's so freaking hard. I try to be nice to people, but that gets me nowhere for some reason and when people look at me, it's like they are expecting somebody different. They must be expecting a loud-mouthed, slang speaking person to grace their presence and not somebody who's quiet, friendly and unassuming.

They always say you should watch the quite ones, but I assure you I'm NOT a paranoid psycho (nor am I sadistic or a narcissist) like a certain character I write about, but at times I really wonder if that's why people avoid me. Yes, I'm also kind of a buzzkill and a prude, but I'm not going to kill you if you light up a joint in my presence , despite my opposition to it.

Maybe my loneliness is self-inflicted? I admit, there are times both online and offline where I struggle at making communication and it's not because I don't' know how, it's like I'm scared for whatever reason to make friends...yet I feel lonely...ohh the irony! I know why I do to and it's because I fear rejection and the judgement from others; it's why I don't usually try new things or take chances. That could explain why I have never dated before. I could probably get any guy or girl based on personality, but I just don't try. Why should I though? Most guys and girls want somebody who works out and looks perfect. Me? I'm just skinny and above average.

Yes, this is how I think and I know it's wrong.

Whatever it is, I'd like to know how to fix it, because I surely don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I already have low self-esteem as it is and have been down this road before which ultimately led me to contemplate suicide. That was the worst time of my life.

Thank you for indulging me in my adventure of self-pity.

We've have got to stop meeting like this...but seriously, it's good that I can finally be back on here after the hectic Summer I've just had to endure. Hopefully this semester won't be as hectic.

BTW, check out my album: http://djtechnotik.bandcamp.com/alb.....perion-complex

Hey party people.

I've been w/o internet in my apartment for over a month and a half and I was finally able to get on tonight albeit at home. I don't know when those idiots are going to fix it, but hopefully this is fixed by the end of the month. But between that, school work and this album I'm working on, I haven't had alot of free time.

However, I have been busy writing in the limited amount of free time I do have and I hope to upload a couple of stories soon.

I don't know about you guys, but I hate washing clothes and I wish they'd wash themselves. I just hate having to sort out the clothes and then you have to pick the right setting cuz if it's on heavy soil, hot and you're washing darker clothes then your basically fucked. Seriously, why don't we have this technology now? We can put a man on the moon, a black man in the oval office and make Shia LeBouf into an actor, but we can't have clothes that wash themselves?

Hopefully once the scientists are bored with creating boner pills they will get to work on creating clothes that put themselves in the washing machine. What a benefit to mankind that would be.

Life definately goes by fast. One minute you're an innocent baby in diapers and the next you're a junior in college.

It's crazy stuff.