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Things Change
Posted 8 years agoI normally don't post stuff like this to the public, but I'm at a complete loss. I have friends who help me out, both in real life as well as online, but still, nothing will ever make it "easier". I lost my dad 10 years ago, January 9th, 2007. Now, a week or so ago, I found out that my mom is dying as well. There is no cure for what she has. I know that she isn't exactly young, but knowing a rough estimate of how long she has to live, tears a person apart.
Everything that I've known so far, for who I am or what I thought I was, is starting to become distorted and a mere image of my former self. It's hard trying to get myself out of bed to do my daily routines and go to work. Life in general, is harder than it was a few years ago. Losing both of my parents, at the age that I am, is probably one of the hardest things I think I'll have to deal with in this life.. Especially since after my father's passing, I got closer with my mother.
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this journal, I'm sure no one will read this nor give a shit on here. But to those who do read this, don't take anything for granted. Don't take your parents, close friends, or loved ones for granted. When you think that they will be around for a long time, they could easily be snatched from your life in a heartbeat. Or on a decline in their health. I always thought my mother would be around for a lot longer, since I always saw her as a strong, independent woman. But, over a week ago, I found out that I was wrong.
Cherish all the little things, because tomorrow they could be gone.
Everything that I've known so far, for who I am or what I thought I was, is starting to become distorted and a mere image of my former self. It's hard trying to get myself out of bed to do my daily routines and go to work. Life in general, is harder than it was a few years ago. Losing both of my parents, at the age that I am, is probably one of the hardest things I think I'll have to deal with in this life.. Especially since after my father's passing, I got closer with my mother.
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this journal, I'm sure no one will read this nor give a shit on here. But to those who do read this, don't take anything for granted. Don't take your parents, close friends, or loved ones for granted. When you think that they will be around for a long time, they could easily be snatched from your life in a heartbeat. Or on a decline in their health. I always thought my mother would be around for a lot longer, since I always saw her as a strong, independent woman. But, over a week ago, I found out that I was wrong.
Cherish all the little things, because tomorrow they could be gone.
Con Cancellation
Posted 8 years agoWow, can't believe the convention that I've attended for four years or so has finally came to an end. It's not like it came to end because profits were low, but because of a lot of bullshit that came behind it. So apparently my one vacation that I take a year is now completely gone. RIP rmfc. While the convention is gone, hopefully a new one will come up after it. And hopefully all of the stupid fucking bullshit that came with RMFC doesn't come along with this one. Ban the fuckers and move along.
RMFC
Posted 9 years agoSo, a few things have changed since my last journal. I'm not staying at a hotel two miles down the road. I'm now staying at a hotel about five minutes down the road. That makes things so much better and easier. Still not as pimping as staying at the Marriott. But I'll take it. x3 See a few faces I recognize from years past. So many new faces too~ Well, here's to having a blast at this year's con~
Woo~
Posted 9 years agoWhile times looked grim for trying to get to RMFC this year, I am able to attend still. Granted, it won't be in the same hotel, because they apparently picked a hotel that had very few rooms and a small room block. Nevertheless, I don't mind staying at a hotel that's only 2 miles down the road. My only concern that I had, was being able to take my one week away from my place of living to enjoy the company of many furs. Next year, 2017, will be much better since it will be back at the Marriot once more. I will be bunking with hane. Even if I decided to get a bit trashed, at least I could get a ride from him back to the hotel room to sleep. x3 Needless to say, I'm quite eager for this year, to be able to meet some old friends that I met there at RMFC and having a great time.
Thoughts of Valentine's Day
Posted 9 years agoWhile it may be Valentine's Day, I am one of those people that don't celebrate it. I know the purpose behind it and all that jazz, but I don't agree with it one bit. It's supposed to be about celebrating your love for your significant other and showing tender love and care for them. All good and dandy, even heartwarming. But the shit that comes along with it in the background, is all stupid. If you loved your partner, you would go out and buy them flowers, chocolates, gifts, etc. It's a commercialized holiday. The time of year for big companies to make even more money to fill their wallets.
I'm not against companies filling their wallets, otherwise no company would be around. But to profiteer off of an emotional holiday to me, is sickening. Wouldn't you show love and care to your significant other every day? Why is it that one day out of the year you have to show excessive warmth for that person, while the rest of the year you are allowed to slack off (at least, that's the general ideology behind it)? If you love your partner, you would show that love, conviction and care every day of your life while you're with them. You would do everything you can to assure that the love is felt and seen, make them as happy as you possibly can. Love does not come in forms of material possessions. Gifts are nice, but it doesn't show or state that you love that person with all your heart.
I know that by posting this and anyone reading it, or taking the time to read it if it's interesting enough, I may get some backlash and anger. This is not my intention in the slightest. I'm pointing out views that I see and why I personally don't celebrate this day and actually dislike it as a whole for a holiday. Just a good old fashioned girl that would rather receive love the traditional way, than ways of flowers, candies, chocolates and fine dining with a glass of wine.
I'm not against companies filling their wallets, otherwise no company would be around. But to profiteer off of an emotional holiday to me, is sickening. Wouldn't you show love and care to your significant other every day? Why is it that one day out of the year you have to show excessive warmth for that person, while the rest of the year you are allowed to slack off (at least, that's the general ideology behind it)? If you love your partner, you would show that love, conviction and care every day of your life while you're with them. You would do everything you can to assure that the love is felt and seen, make them as happy as you possibly can. Love does not come in forms of material possessions. Gifts are nice, but it doesn't show or state that you love that person with all your heart.
I know that by posting this and anyone reading it, or taking the time to read it if it's interesting enough, I may get some backlash and anger. This is not my intention in the slightest. I'm pointing out views that I see and why I personally don't celebrate this day and actually dislike it as a whole for a holiday. Just a good old fashioned girl that would rather receive love the traditional way, than ways of flowers, candies, chocolates and fine dining with a glass of wine.
Another Birthday
Posted 9 years agoAnd today is my birthday, turning one year older and making me feel even older. Not sure what I'm going to be doing for my birthday, but I know I'll come up with something.. If evenjust hanging with friends and drinking the Warm Apple Pie Moonshine I got from another friend. x3
Small Update
Posted 10 years agoSo as of late I have been rather quiet, but due to a few reasons that I don't wish to get into at the moment. One I will say is that work has been draining me both physically and mentally. Holidays also suck, and my birthday is coming up here within a couple weeks.. Oh what joy. Once things settle down a bit and I'm able to get my life flipped back around, my concentration will be set solely on attending RMFC again this year, upgrading my rig and proceeding to better my living situations.
So far for my plans for RMFC 2016, I will be rooming with my fur brother, hane. As of now it is just the two of us. Who knows, maybe another one or two could tag along if I felt that kind of trust with them. The setting would be a little different for me though, since the con will be taking place in a new hotel for this year, due to a multi-million dollar renovation that's taking place at the Marriott this year. Overall I feel that it should still be fun and hope to see the people I saw the previous years. I'm always eager and ready for the next RMFC.
If anyone else is curious about the well-being of my beautiful snake, she's doing absolutely wonderful. She's growing like a weed too. Both her and I have a huge understanding and trust for one another and she recognizes me from inside of her vivarium. When I walk by when she's out, she'll perk up and move toward the glass, which to me is absolutely adorable. If there is a demand for pictures of her, I will be happy to show her off. :3
So far for my plans for RMFC 2016, I will be rooming with my fur brother, hane. As of now it is just the two of us. Who knows, maybe another one or two could tag along if I felt that kind of trust with them. The setting would be a little different for me though, since the con will be taking place in a new hotel for this year, due to a multi-million dollar renovation that's taking place at the Marriott this year. Overall I feel that it should still be fun and hope to see the people I saw the previous years. I'm always eager and ready for the next RMFC.
If anyone else is curious about the well-being of my beautiful snake, she's doing absolutely wonderful. She's growing like a weed too. Both her and I have a huge understanding and trust for one another and she recognizes me from inside of her vivarium. When I walk by when she's out, she'll perk up and move toward the glass, which to me is absolutely adorable. If there is a demand for pictures of her, I will be happy to show her off. :3
Quick Vent
Posted 10 years agoSo, one thing that I really hate.. Is when people think they know everything about something, but in all reality they don't. So to sum it up, I got my baby Ball Python that I take with me sometimes to go pick up my vapor juice. Well, one of the girls there loves snakes, or reptiles. Awesome. But what I hate is when she tries to tell me what to do with her, or how to care for her. "Ball Pythons only get to about three feet." Actually, Ball Pythons, depending if they are male or female, can get up to five feet.. Sometimes six, in some rare cases. So that part is debunked. "You know why they move around when they are in your hand?" They are inquisitive critters and want to explore. "They move to help create friction to warm themselves up." Yeah.. Because a snake moving very slowly along your hand or arm creates sooo much friction. GTFO.
I also noticed that when I got back from RMFC, I ended up with a different Ball Python from Petco, because apparently they can't feed and put the original snake you purchased back into the original tank. I was aggravated at first, but the more I handled the snake I have now, the more I've grown attached to her. Anyway, between her feeding sessions, which was Mondays, I noticed she hadn't defecated once. So I knew she hadn't ate. Next Monday rolls around, I try to feed her again, she wouldn't eat. After she shed, I tried again.. She still wouldn't eat. I was starting to get worried. When I took her down to the vapor shop, the lady there was like.. "She's hungry. She hasn't been eating? Go get her a live pinkie and feed her that. Don't feed her a full size meal." Yada yada yada. Balls are typical for going off feed for months at a time. After that time, they can go right back to a full size meal with no problem. I tried to feed her again last night, in a hope she would eat finally. Only this time, I used half chicken broth (with extremely low sodium content) and water. Let the mouse thaw. After it was thawed and dried off, my baby girl struck at it and coiled it within seconds. My stresses of her not eating are now alleviated. :3
All in all, if someone doesn't know for certain about a subject.. Then keep your mouth shut or ask questions instead. Don't try and lead people to false thoughts and knowledge, because you feel you know best. Do your research before you open your maw.
I also noticed that when I got back from RMFC, I ended up with a different Ball Python from Petco, because apparently they can't feed and put the original snake you purchased back into the original tank. I was aggravated at first, but the more I handled the snake I have now, the more I've grown attached to her. Anyway, between her feeding sessions, which was Mondays, I noticed she hadn't defecated once. So I knew she hadn't ate. Next Monday rolls around, I try to feed her again, she wouldn't eat. After she shed, I tried again.. She still wouldn't eat. I was starting to get worried. When I took her down to the vapor shop, the lady there was like.. "She's hungry. She hasn't been eating? Go get her a live pinkie and feed her that. Don't feed her a full size meal." Yada yada yada. Balls are typical for going off feed for months at a time. After that time, they can go right back to a full size meal with no problem. I tried to feed her again last night, in a hope she would eat finally. Only this time, I used half chicken broth (with extremely low sodium content) and water. Let the mouse thaw. After it was thawed and dried off, my baby girl struck at it and coiled it within seconds. My stresses of her not eating are now alleviated. :3
All in all, if someone doesn't know for certain about a subject.. Then keep your mouth shut or ask questions instead. Don't try and lead people to false thoughts and knowledge, because you feel you know best. Do your research before you open your maw.
Found Out Something Last Night
Posted 10 years agoSo, apparently, my aunt passed away yesterday. I knew her fairly well, remember her and all that. It's been a long time since I saw her last, probably due to her living close to eight hours away. I'm kind of in the, "not sure what to think yet" state. She passed away at 84 years-old, her birthday was this coming Thursday. Didn't make it that far. It sucks when you think about it. Life has an interesting way of yanking you away when you least expect it. Or take away your loved ones at any given moment. There could be cause, or it could happen completely out of the blue.
I had no idea of this event until I stopped by my mother's last night after work, when she told me that she had passed. My mom was in complete turmoil. I could see that she was in pain, hear it in her voice. Her sisters are getting older and older, as well as my mom. I already lost one parent so far.. Losing the other, would possibly cause my world to go dark. I already don't get along with 99% of my family, both sibling-wise and longer down the line. It makes me wonder how much longer before the one person in my family that semi-cares, is no longer there.
I had no idea of this event until I stopped by my mother's last night after work, when she told me that she had passed. My mom was in complete turmoil. I could see that she was in pain, hear it in her voice. Her sisters are getting older and older, as well as my mom. I already lost one parent so far.. Losing the other, would possibly cause my world to go dark. I already don't get along with 99% of my family, both sibling-wise and longer down the line. It makes me wonder how much longer before the one person in my family that semi-cares, is no longer there.
RMFC Completion
Posted 10 years agoRMFC was absolutely amazing this year. Not only did I just get to attend an awesome con that's continued to grow for the past three years, but I also got to room with my best friend and his wife. Ever since I talked about him going to RMFC, I was growing eager and more eager. Lots of drinking was involved, plus cuddles and such like that. I also got to see my brother that came up as well, which is always a delight to get to see.
All in all, I would have to say that this year was possibly the best. I managed to walk away with several more books and even some older ones signed by Kyell Gold. And also three pieces from the Art Auction. Can't wait for next year, which I will try to get someone else to room with me, for sure. <3
All in all, I would have to say that this year was possibly the best. I managed to walk away with several more books and even some older ones signed by Kyell Gold. And also three pieces from the Art Auction. Can't wait for next year, which I will try to get someone else to room with me, for sure. <3
Fucking Really?
Posted 10 years agoI haven't even had my snake for two weeks and she already died.. I did exactly as the health care sheet said.. She was doing perfectly fine, until just about an hour ago.. This is such fucking bullshit.. She had a warranty on her for up to 30 days, but still that is totally beside the point.. She showed no signs of illness whatsoever.. Part of me is now crushed..
A New Companion?
Posted 10 years agoYes, that's right. I just went out today, about an hour and a half ago or two.. And got me a cute, adorable and tiny snake. A baby corn snake. Don't know whether the snake is male or female yet, but right now, I'm just more than happy to have a companion.
My original intent was to go to the pet shop to see what they had for snakes. Curiosity and general ideas of sizes of snakes and such like that. I was looking more for a snake that's docile and won't strike. They mentioned either the ball python, or the corn snake. And I know getting a snake from a baby, means you can raise them well.
After asking about the corn snake, she opened the cage and let me hold one. This snake I held was so calm, reddish in color, and shedding. After holding the little guy, and he became more calm and warmed to me, I fell in love. So I bought him and a good starting cage. Just an adorable little thing.
My original intent was to go to the pet shop to see what they had for snakes. Curiosity and general ideas of sizes of snakes and such like that. I was looking more for a snake that's docile and won't strike. They mentioned either the ball python, or the corn snake. And I know getting a snake from a baby, means you can raise them well.
After asking about the corn snake, she opened the cage and let me hold one. This snake I held was so calm, reddish in color, and shedding. After holding the little guy, and he became more calm and warmed to me, I fell in love. So I bought him and a good starting cage. Just an adorable little thing.
Such is Life
Posted 10 years agoIt's funny when you think that you might have a possibility with someone, might have that chance. Even more when you've felt those feelings for a long time, but you have managed to keep them all at the back of your head and hidden. But when reality comes crashing down, it turns out that you aren't worth the time or effort. Your views are entirely different than the others. That happened to me recently. Had feelings for someone, for quite some time in fact, and it turned out that I'd never have that chance. I had a glimmer of hope that I could possibly get to touch it, but then it all faded away when the truth came out. Guess I'm getting too old for this dating shit.
Something I Want to Say
Posted 10 years agoI know that this isn't really important, let alone anyone would probably read it. But I want to say my feelings on particular thing that I notice most artists going to. Patreon. I know the purpose behind it, and I can understand it. But at the flip side of the coin, I can't stand it. By artists getting a Patreon, it's like saying that you pay them money every month, almost like a job, you get added benefits. Those who can't afford, or don't want to have to worry about a monthly commitment, get shit out of luck on the deal. Yeah, most start off with 1 dollar a month. But usually most of those "benefits" are shit anyway, usually a "thank you!" comment and a promise to see some art when it's released.
The very few artists that I've seen (I'm not going to mention names) actually take Patreon as a form of helping them to continue their drive with support. Yeah, you get the standard benefits of most others, but the few I've noticed have a low monthly cost in order to achieve the highest tier. Like, 10 dollars a month. In the end of it though, they mention that the artwork, flash, or whatever it is that they are working on, will be free for everyone the day that it's updated/released. That part to me, is a huge plus. I don't want to feel like I have to pay money in order to see exclusive things, in order to still get the same ending product as everyone else who doesn't want to spend money every month. I love a lot of artist's work, so trying to "support them", would be a real game-breaker for me and take up a lot my paycheck.. Especially if I want any kind of "exclusive artwork that's never been seen before".
Again, this is my personal view. I know many probably won't agree with it, but I feel personally, that some artists are taking it a little far. Yeah, we all hurt for money, we all want more money, we all want to make a stable living. But not all of us can make a stable living, while having a decent amount of money for our own toys, or even stash away for rainy days, to help support another artist(s). I shouldn't have to pay money every month to get artwork that other furs won't see, or will ever see, and I will never pay money every month to an artist just to get that "benefit". I have to support myself and my own way of living. If, by some major stroke of luck, or somehow fate could be on my side (which I doubt), I would have to help support my significant other.
Please do not respond to this journal with hate and discontent. These are my views - respect goes a long way. If you don't like something, simply ignore it or remove it from your sight.
The very few artists that I've seen (I'm not going to mention names) actually take Patreon as a form of helping them to continue their drive with support. Yeah, you get the standard benefits of most others, but the few I've noticed have a low monthly cost in order to achieve the highest tier. Like, 10 dollars a month. In the end of it though, they mention that the artwork, flash, or whatever it is that they are working on, will be free for everyone the day that it's updated/released. That part to me, is a huge plus. I don't want to feel like I have to pay money in order to see exclusive things, in order to still get the same ending product as everyone else who doesn't want to spend money every month. I love a lot of artist's work, so trying to "support them", would be a real game-breaker for me and take up a lot my paycheck.. Especially if I want any kind of "exclusive artwork that's never been seen before".
Again, this is my personal view. I know many probably won't agree with it, but I feel personally, that some artists are taking it a little far. Yeah, we all hurt for money, we all want more money, we all want to make a stable living. But not all of us can make a stable living, while having a decent amount of money for our own toys, or even stash away for rainy days, to help support another artist(s). I shouldn't have to pay money every month to get artwork that other furs won't see, or will ever see, and I will never pay money every month to an artist just to get that "benefit". I have to support myself and my own way of living. If, by some major stroke of luck, or somehow fate could be on my side (which I doubt), I would have to help support my significant other.
Please do not respond to this journal with hate and discontent. These are my views - respect goes a long way. If you don't like something, simply ignore it or remove it from your sight.
Books I've Read So Far (Currently Reading)
Posted 10 years agoSome people may not be interested in this. If not, cool. If they are interested, here is the current list of books I've read, and am reading. Keep in mind, it wasn't until about a year or two ago that I decided to actually pick up a book and read it, not just stories I found online. Titles with (parenthesis) and a year, is when I purchased the book, in case anyone was curious.
In alphabetical order:
Divisions by Kyell Gold (2015) (Currently Reading)
Heretic by Rukis (2013)
Isolation Play by Kyell Gold (2014)
Lost on Dark Trails by Rukis (2015)
Off the Beaten Path by Rukis (2014)
Out of Position by Kyell Gold (2014)
The Long Road Home by Rukis (2015)
The Ursa Major Awards Anthology by Various Writers (2014)
X by Various Writers (2014)
Books I have left in stock so far:
All Tied Up in Knotz by Andres Cyanni Halden (2015)
Taboo by Various Writers (2015)
The Furry Future by Various Writers (2015)
Uncovered by Kyell Gold (2015)
Will of the Alpha by Various Writers (2015)
This list does not include comics that I've read and have the hard copy of. Most of these titles I've purchased at conventions with autographs from the writers/authors. So while it may be small, most of them have at least some meaning to me. Expect more to come with this list as time progresses.
In alphabetical order:
Divisions by Kyell Gold (2015) (Currently Reading)
Heretic by Rukis (2013)
Isolation Play by Kyell Gold (2014)
Lost on Dark Trails by Rukis (2015)
Off the Beaten Path by Rukis (2014)
Out of Position by Kyell Gold (2014)
The Long Road Home by Rukis (2015)
The Ursa Major Awards Anthology by Various Writers (2014)
X by Various Writers (2014)
Books I have left in stock so far:
All Tied Up in Knotz by Andres Cyanni Halden (2015)
Taboo by Various Writers (2015)
The Furry Future by Various Writers (2015)
Uncovered by Kyell Gold (2015)
Will of the Alpha by Various Writers (2015)
This list does not include comics that I've read and have the hard copy of. Most of these titles I've purchased at conventions with autographs from the writers/authors. So while it may be small, most of them have at least some meaning to me. Expect more to come with this list as time progresses.
Profile.. Finished..
Posted 10 years agoOkay, I finally finished up my profile. Took me forever and a day, at least, that's what it felt like. It took me a little to write it up and edit it, but at least it's done now. I'm sure that changes will come in due time, but for now, I'm content with it. :3 For all you who were curious, take a read and see for yourselves. Take it for what it's worth.
Alright..
Posted 10 years agoSorry about the spam of all the new pictures. I figured it was about time to post them. I believe I got them all, but I could always be wrong. Of course, I do have new pictures coming in soon, once they are finished and stuffs. Plus, I have a reference sheet on the way. Yay reference sheet~ I kinda need it because I'm tired of explaining every little detail in text, just to get my point across. >.<
Also, I will be updating my profile at some point to give it more depth, rather than just a blank canvas. I'm just being lazy right now. Worked all day and now I'm exhausted. Just wanted to post up pictures since I happened to be here at the moment. x3
Also, I will be updating my profile at some point to give it more depth, rather than just a blank canvas. I'm just being lazy right now. Worked all day and now I'm exhausted. Just wanted to post up pictures since I happened to be here at the moment. x3
