I have an idea for a Zombie character. I`m not sure what to name her though, and I haven`t quite designed her yet... I know she`s not going anywhere... lol

YOUR GUY SIDE
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[x] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[x] Shopping is torture.
[x] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] You watch sports on TV. (it's only fun if you are in the sport D: )
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[ ] You go to your dad for advice. (Pffft)
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[x] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.

Total = 17


YOUR GIRL
[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[ ] You love to shop.
[ ] You wear eyeliner.
[ ] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x] You wear the color pink.
[ ] Go to your mom for advice. (I can't rely on either of them :| )
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed,/ and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[ ] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[ ] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[x] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it. (only guys! LOL)
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total = 3

Technically female...very much pregnant...maybe I was a guy in another life...or I'm more Levi than I thought!! O.o

I'm 8 months pregnant and unfortunately, I'm on state aid. I hate having to be, but it was either miscarry my child, or quit my job and be able to have a healthy (living) baby.

I was working in filthy cockroach/fly infested conditions, and felt horrible for the animals living in that situation, not to mention I was constantly sick and under far too much stress...

They cut off my cash assistance in June, and I've had to borrow money to pay my cell phone for 2 months.

We have no house phone, and there's no other phone for me to use at any given time, so I can't afford to NOT have a phone for my doctor's appointments and DHS appointments.

I just reapplied for cash...and thought it was going to come back on this month, so I could pay my phone, and finish up with the baby's things...

I got a letter in the mail today stating that they're reinstating my cash...but not till October. It's only halfway through the month!!! I'm freaking out, massively depressed, and seriously considered crashing my car into something on the way home from picking up the letter...

I would open commissions, but I don't feel that I am a talented enough artist to get paid for what I do...

I'm at the end of my rope here.

• × • ALL | ABOUT | ME • × •

- Name: Bex
- Single or taken: Single, wishing I was taken
- Sex Gender: Female
- Birthday: 02/28/88
- Sign: <>< (that's a fish, in case you didn't know)
- Hair color: med-dark brown
- Eye color: brown and green
- Height: 5'4"
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: straight

• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: the last place I went shopping and BOUGHT clothes was Deb
- Favorite designer?: meh....
- What is your sexiest outfit?: Um...I have nothing sezzy
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: Tee shirt or tank and gauchos
- What do you usually wear?: tee shirts/tanks and sweatpants, or gauchos,

• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: When I'm buying Aussie, Suave or Garnier
- What are you listening to right now?: my really loud and obnoxious mini fan
- Who is the last person that called you?: um...Tasha
- How many buddies are online right now?: 7, I counted them...

• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •

- Food: I don't really have a favorite anymore...
- Girls' names: Jade, Sollyn, Allysia, Rose
- Boys' names: Zackary, Kaylance, Elias
- Subjects in school: Band, Choir, and science
- Animals: Okapi, moose, wolves, fish

• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •

- Given anyone a bath?: yup, babysitting kids will have you doing that sooner or later
- Smoked?: Yes
- Bungee jumped?: No
- Made yourself throw up?: Yup...
- Skinny dipped?: yup!
- Ever been in love?: Yes
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: no, it just happens
- Pictured your crush naked?: yup
- Actually seen your crush naked?: yup! 8 mos pregz, I'd hope so...
- Cried when someone died?: yea
- Lied: Yes
- Fallen for your best friend?: Yes
- Used someone?: Yes
- Done something you regret?: Yes

• × • C U R R E N T • × •

- Clothes: blue tank, black gauchos
- Desktop picture: Ultrasound from August for my son
- CD in player: Enya I think
- DVD in player: no dvd player

• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •

- You touched: I don't know
- Hugged: Solaris...
- You kissed: Solaris
- You IMed: Eve
- Talk to online: Eve
- You sexed it up with: Solaris

• × • A R E | Y O U • × •

- Understanding?: I try to be
- Open-minded?: again, I try
- Arrogant?: sometimes
- Insecure?: a bit
- Random?: frequently
- Hungry?: no, someone's cooking and it's making me want to vomit
- Smart?: Yes
- Moody?: pregnant...so yes
- Organized?: not as much as I'd like to be
- Shy?: yes
- Difficult?: At times.
- Bored easily?: Yes
- Obsessed?: not really
- Angry?: slightly
- Happy?: not really
- Hyper?: Not ATM
- Trusting?: too much

• × • R A N D O M • × • (LOL!)

- In the morning I: I get up and let the dog out
- Love is: fictional
- I dream about: weird things
- Sexual preference: men
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: eyes or smile...

• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • ×

- Coke or Pepsi: I don't really drink cola anymore
- Flowers or candy: flowers.
- Tall or short: either or

• × • W H O • × •

- Makes you laugh the most: I don't really laugh anymore
- Makes you smile: see above
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: ...?

• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Yes, or I wait up all night for him to call...he never does
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: sometimes
- Wish you were younger?: hah! no
- Cry because someone said something to you?: yea

• × • N U M B E R • × •

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: twice, by the same person
- Of guys I've kissed: a few
- Of girls I've kissed: none
- Of Cd's I own: 1
- Of scars on my body: ....Many

Something that literally came to me in my sleep, and now that I'm wide awake at 5 AM...I have to post this.

---

The blood makes beautiful swirls when you mix it with water, ever graceful, arcing from the crimson riverbeds from whence they came. Behind these hollow and haunted eyes lies a restless soul, unsure of what step to take next...towards damnation...or salvation? The darker path greets me like a long lost friend; I've been here before.

Desolated, the barren landscape speaks to my soul. Although I can't make out the words; I understand. Desperation used to color the atmosphere, but it has long since passed, like my contentment, into contempt and my barren soul. Barren; but barren like me. Lies and hurt tint my air as I struggle to breathe. Just one good, clean breath is all I need; but it does not come. They took my air, forcing me to breathe in this poison.

I take a deep breath, feeling it burn my lungs like acid on fire. I realize that snow has begun to fall, turning my tired and used body to lead as I struggle to meet my fate. This will be the end of me. The life I carry within, will be my death. I carry my precious burden. It eats away at my heart, drains my body, and destroys my soul. There is no way I can survive...not without the life preserver. But that has long since passed me by, riding it's sea of resentment, hate, and disappointment. You were at it's helm.

They say time changes all things. I don't like the way it's changed my feelings...the way it changed my view on life...and the way I no longer believe that love ever existed. Just meaningless lust...That's all I've ever been. I'm trapped under the ice of my emotions...trying to get to the air that's just out of reach. But I can't break through. I should just accept my fate. Lay down and die. After the Eons I've spent...it's the best thing I could do.

My vision blurs...and fades to black.
Please say I am no more.

I'm currently on messenger with a friend of mine, who sort of dug up my past...

I've dealt with a lot of shit. Some aspects of life have always been nothing to complain about, but others, I've tried unsuccessfully to forget.

I grew up in a home where I had just about everything I needed, but I was abused. More than just "youngest of 6" abuse...I mean tables flipped, things thrown at me, getting punched/slapped/and choked. I've broken glass with my head, among other things. Fortunately, never had a broken bone. Although I am a bit hard of hearing on the left side from my brother hitting me once when I was 16 or 17.

Once my abusers left, I was with this guy for three years who was an alcoholic, a drug addict, physically and emotionally abusive. I was not allowed to have friends, to do anything without him, but he could go anywhere at any time if it pleased him.

I finally learned to fight back to help myself. But I was never happy about resorting to the only thing that they knew: violence. I've threatened people, and actually hurt others...and it's my shame to have to say that.

I lose my temper, yes, I may hit things. But I hate laying a hand on anyone else in anger. I'd rather seethe and take it out on myself. I never want to be like those people that have caused me to fear my future.

I'm afraid that it may happen to me, that I'll become abusive with my son, who is more precious to me already, than the air in my lungs. He's not even here yet.

I have a hard time coming to grips with myself, reality, and sometimes fear. And I seem to consistently put myself into situations where I can be controlled and abused over and over.

This, is the real me.

So I'm being forced...I mean commissioned by my mother to do a few drawings. One being my rendition of a picture out of a children's book.

Plus, in addition to that, she wants me to draw an alphabet book for the baby. Duplicating to the best of my abilities, the page for the letter "K" (which has a kangaroo in a kitchen, watching her joey flying a kite outside)

This should be quite interesting...I'll be sure to post pictures...