What a development!
I'm back after all but I've no real time to dedicate to anything other than my family. I made a bunch of pony drawings and none of them are really anything more than warm up sketches - since that's all I seem to be capable of. I might post them just to show that I am in fact alive haha

Anyway, I'll be back in full swing if I get a divorce, but I earnestly hope that doesn't happen.

BUT THAT ALL BEING SAID I missed you smutholics :3

I hope everything goes smoothly in my absence, I will always come back!
I probably won't get to check this before I disconnect, but well wishes are always welcome!

I really hope everything turns out better than the days I've been having.
STAY POSITIVE SEE YOU SOON!!!

Less than a month before I disappear for three months.

I'll be completely unreachable except to my select mama oh hohoho

Not that it means anything since I've been absolutely invisible as of late but I figured at least a few people would like to know owo

Ironically I may actually have time to draw [although not really likely]

First of all, I am a member of the military. Not a big deal to me, I don't like to talk about it or mention it really at all.
I do now because I've been putting up journals that I'm sure have at least a couple of people worried - and the reason is I am on the verge of divorce. I am currently TRYING to bring a relationship back to a living, happy one.

I'm also failing at it.

So that's why for the first time EVER I actually look forward to going out to sea for 3 months [nominal]

It'll still be a minute though.

also I think I'll be ok

I HATE EVERYTHING IT'S ALL FUCKING POINTLESS AND WORTHLESS WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN DOING HERE

I'm just so god damn tired and there's no where to talk about it

I fucking hate this fucking life
its always been shit and it's stayed that way all this time

now someone else's life will be shit and it's my fucking fault
thats so god damn stupid
she's so fucking stupid

why am i worthless

I'm tired and I will probably not be active for a few months. Sorry

Tacos aren't even my favorite dish.

I really like burritos
and enchiladas

and salsa although I hate onions and tomatos so logically I should hate it?

I want to draw but often have more important things to do. Additionally my brain just doesn't seem to be tuned for it - even so, I'll never give up!

when you just want to commission a dozen people but you have to pay everything else first

like

I don't even have a lot of ideas I just really love so many artists and I just wish my money grew on trees because I want them all to draw stuff and have money

[also because I have been scarred by wanting something from artists SO MUCH but then when I finally come up with spare cash they either don't have free slots/don't draw/ don't take commissions anymore and the letdown is rather upsetting]

(not that artists are machines which dispense art but it is so much of a blessing to describe an image for someone and see what they do with it)

I have a son now. I'm happy even though I have no time to keep up with the internet regimen I've established for myself. Sorry!

ALSO HOLY CRAP HERRO YOUR NEW STUFF UFF <3

disregard that last one, I can still draw :3

third day I was supposed to draw but delved into other things instead

I want to and I think I'm getting backed up with the desire
but I am so very sleepy and coffee offers no respite

uguu thinking often of quotes of artists eons away from me in talent, the ones about how 'true' artists always create, all the time, with anything they have; frustrated that I am primarily a consumer and much less a creator.

I still want to try. Maybe I'll just be a late bloomer.

I don't recall ever being this angry trying to draw before.

Wow.

where did you come from? *w*

BLASPHEMY
Still not in the position to offer them myself, of course.

HOWEVER RITTS IS A PROFESSIONAL AT THOSE
I just got my copy of http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9494353 and holy crap classy/sexy/love/professional grade
honestly it's the best gift my in-laws didn't know they were getting me AND IT EVEN COMES WITH A PERSONAL SKETCH PUT RIGHT IN THE BOOK FOR YOU. UFF <3

>>
if you're watching me and you don't watch him already you're doing yourself a disservice. Just my opinion! I APPRECIATE EVERY ONE OF YOU 201 WATCHERS (and any to follow. Seriously.)

ALSO I WILL PROBABLY POST THE SKETCH HE THREW IN FOR ME SO YOU GET SOME KIND OF IDEA WHAT KIND OF GREAT HE IS



>> Merry Christmas/Holidays to everyone! I was so excited for my magazine I almost forgot ho ho ho

was the hug I got from a drunk British submariner
it was just such an honest embrace

i feel weird about it haha

played red rogue a lot today, started drawing a bit.
one day I'll draw everyday, when I'm 40 and totally irrelevant ;u;
will you all pay attention to me when I'm 40 and drawing fox butts still?

I can't seem to get the juices flowing today

IT'S JUST A SIT AND DELETE STUFF TYPE OF DAY I SUPPOSE.

I hate using a subject line like 'fyi' because it sounds so pompous

To everyone I have promised trades or requests to: I am sorry. I am not slow, per se, but rather useless in terms of art. I don't have a lot of time to even consider drawing, and right now there are so many negative aspects to my life I can only focus on my inadequacies as an artist when I try to draw.

Not that I'm giving up or anything!
I am just going out of town to a funeral for my great-grandmother so I am just further delayed on drawing. I have decided though that before I get back to drawing the regular smut I want to do some painting, real life stuff. Stuff for my family. So I'm sorry for making you all wait even longer, but I have to take care of my family.

I hope you all understand and I promise one day I'll get off of my ass and get better at doing what I actually love; Drawing.

I'll put something up when I get back! ;w;

>boobs are good,
boobs are great,
if I had it my way,
we'd all have eight

I am easily the most influential writer of the 22nd Century.

aside from the obviously more important things, I am scared as hell to lose my sight

so much of my entertainment and happiness in life comes from the stuff that I visually digest, like the stuff on this site!

ANYWAY share your fears if you want, I am still working at a rate of too much! rarely any time to draw. ;w;

And working a lot.

I will get on my trades and requests when I get some time off work. I'm sorry for making you all wait.

If you're watching my scraps, (how unlikely!) you may be bombarded with preliminary sketches for requests I have been given! Feel free to give advice if you have it or ignore otherwise!

ALSO ABOUT TO ATTACH A YELLOW PIECE OF TAPE TO MY TABLET PEN JESUS HELL

I don't know how else to express what I'm feeling.

I've lost.

I just found out the end of Hellsing DOESN'T SUCK because *spoilers*

but work has been... rather dumb! trying to get the time to draw :\

I ever seem to post journal titles

I have been so slow with drawing it is pathetic. NO MORE EXCUSES JUST GONNA DRAW SOME STUFF AND IT MIGHT SUCK BUT I WILL PERSEVERE AND HOPEFULLY IMPROVE

So I'm not one to normally point out shit like this but HOLY CRAP HAVE YOU NOTICED THE HUGE ASS ICONS

I'mma test them out right quick


HOW BIG

:Edit: Oh well, that was fun while it lasted