thank god shes finally gone from my fucking life, im so tired of her bullshit. i finally got fed up with her shit and just tore her a new asshole...yeah thats not like me to be a dick..but seriously...she rubs her relationships into my face for months, treat me like complete shit then expects me to smile when she tells me shes buying her cheater of a mate a promise ring after a month? and never ever once did she give me the time or effort that shes putting into their relationship now? REALLY? and then she has the AUDACITY to say im the bad guy for ruining everything even though she is the cause of 99% of the problems? really now....*sighs* im just glad this is the last vent i will ever need because of her...cause...i got 99 problems and a jenny aint fucking one of em...fuck her and her dog fucker of a boyfriend

Check it out! just post a ref and you might have a chance for some free art!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3649266/

I LUV RUNNIN ROUND IN CIRCLES!!! *flails my arms around and runs in circles*

i...i feel....i feel so cold...so alone....i need that one...that one who will love me with no reason...i need her...and i dont know who she is...i think i do...but...the one who i want...is so distant....i wish to be wrapped in love...so i may wrap my lover in warmth also...i hate these depressions..they arent me...im too happy for this...im too cheerful for this...why cant this all end? why cant i find the one whom i love most?

i find it interesting how she acts about him...doing and saying things she never said about me....it makes me wonder...if shes doing all of this...to get back at me somehow....after 5 months...you would think she would have posted something to her friends...said something on her facebook...done something like she is....why is she acting this way with him? and never was like that with me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBRrXHJMvyU

FUCK EVERYTHING...I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS MISERABLE EXISTENCE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

I love her still...even though we broke apart...i feel so selfish saying that i want her back in my life...i want her back with me...i want to feel my arms around her...taste the gentle touch of her lips on mine...its driving me insane feeling this way...i have tried to move on...but i cant do it...so i remain...single...alone...sad...terrified...waiting like i waited for her once before...hoping, praying for a love that will probably never accept me back...we drove each other away....we pushed and pushed until we fell apart...there is no single bad guy here...we are both at fault...and we realize that....what tears me up the most is when she talks to me...sometimes she acts and talks like nothing is wrong...we flirt, we laugh...we hold each other...even though we are hundreds of hundreds of miles apart...and then...other days it seems that she doesnt even recognize me and its throwing me around...i know she doesnt want me back now....but i want to know...someday...will we be together again? shes the only woman i have ever loved like i love...the is the first woman i have ever wanted to actually spend the rest of my life with....night after night goes by...i stare at pictures of her for hours on end...it sounds creepy..but i cant help it...i love her...with all that i am...she asked me last night "..where did we go wrong.. why did we let this fall this far.." and...i cried....i cried so long...and didnt let it show...because...even though i told her " i guess...we both got a little lost...and....well...its just taking time for us to find each other again...." i still dont know if that is the right answer...because i dont know...i dont know anything....all of this is my fault...i know it is...she tried to tell me otherwise the other night...i told her its my fault shes so stressed right now...its my fault that she just got out of a horrible relationship after a week with the new guy....its my fault shes angry...its my fault for all of this....if only i had not done what i did...if i hadnt have taken that drink....if only i hadnt have let the stress break me like it did....i tried to take it all from her...i knew she was stressed out..with her family issues, with her school issues, with her trying to find a job...so i let her take it out on me because i knew it would help her feel better...and then...it got too much for me...and so i kept going i kept trying to be the best that i could and one night...i broke...and when i did it was catastrophic....i drank and drank and drank because i thought it would help dull the pain..but all it did was make me say things that i still cant sleep right over....im so scared...i lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling until the sun comes up before i fall asleep...and even then i sleep for maybe a couple hours before the misery starts all over again....im becoming a burden on everyone....i have so much pain and strife thats pent up...not just from her..but from years from my family and stress from them years upon years of stress and that night it all broke loose like a poorly built dam...shes got me with one wave of her hand...im wrapped tightly around her finger....people keep telling me to move on...that shes just using me..and this is all just one big game for her...but i want to believe otherwise...thats why i try so hard to make things right again, because shes all i had left to live for...she was the only thing that got me up in the morning...the only thing that kept me on the path to success....now...i have nothing...sure i have friends that are willing to help me through it all...but now its just getting to a point to where no matter what encouraging words they say...its just falling empty upon my ears...i am empty...my life is empty...im so scared that im going to lose her to someone else again....i tried to win her heart back..and it wasnt enough..and she got with someone else...and they turned around and broke her....im so afraid that the next man is going to use her again..break her more and tear her to a point where no one will be able to have her...im so scared because i love her....all i want to be is the man she loves and the man who will bring her back up to the light...but...im so afraid..that im not enough anymore....because i broke her....and i never meant to...the person i was that night when i broke up with her...when i told her to get the fuck out of my life...it wasnt me....it was a scared, drunk broken bastard with nothing left to live for...and that isnt me....and i fear there is nothing left i can do to convince her otherwise....it just seems i am cursed to live a life, doomed to be miserable, stricken and made lame, chained down to never be able to be happy again....all because i took a fucking drink that i was told by my friends...would help me feel better about everything.....it was a lie....I love you Jen...with all my heart....i just wish...that she would read this and realize that i still love her and i want only the best for her...i want her to realize what all this has done to me...but...even if she did...i still dont think it would work....i didnt work before when i let my heart out....why would it work now?

Nother raffle commin your way from Aiden!!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3615110/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3613072/

check it out, all yah gotta do, is post a reason of why you think you should win, and post a journal, Aiden is a real sweet friend of mine, so check her out!

someone..talk to me or something..i...just want someone to talk to

all i want to do..is make things right...like they were before...its going to be a tough slog..but..i think it will be worth it

monitor on my computer is cracked, i have no money, no job, my roommate is pissed at me cause i have no money for rent, probably gonna end up on the streets soon cause i got no where to go, everything is going down, im single, alone, stressed and i dont know what do do...i dont see how today or my life right now..could get any freakin worse...

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3593960/

checkit

yesterday...the 25th....would have been our half way point..half way to a year...almost there..so much work..almost all undone....i hope we can really work things out....i love her with all my heart, and seeing her withsomeone else is tearing me apart...especially when i know hes going to hurt her....i know he is...hes already done it once...and shes giving him another chance...and im so scared..SO SO scared..that hes going to break her....i dont want to just stand by and watch...but..theres only so much i can do...expecially after all i have done....in time...we will heal...she said it herself yesterday...we have a bright future...just wait and see....i remember fondly...she said those exact words the night i asked her to be my Present...on that cold Christmas morning...so that....gives me hope..for a brighter future...its not over...not just yet...and this time...im doing things right...

just got a cupful of fucking SEMEN thrown into my god damned face just now...and guess what...someone is fucking putting it all over the god damned internet! AS IF MY FUCKING LIFE WASNT SHITTY ENOUGH!!! shitty thing is..the guy holding the fucking camera...is my damn roommate! my other friend...threw his cum into my face....and now..my roommate is pissed off cause i told him to fuck off after he made a comment about it all...IM FUCKING SORRY MY JOB DOESNT PAY ME SHIT AND I GOT FIRED LAST MONTH AND YOU HAD TO COVER THE GOD DAMNED RENT!!! DOENST MEAN I DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU TO FUCK THE HELL OFF AFTER YOU JUST VIDEO TAPED ME TAKING A CUP FULL OF GOD DAMNED BODILY FLUIDS STRAIGHT TO THE FACE!

Pray for solace,
Pray for resolve,
Pray for a savior,
Pray for deliverance, some kind of purpose,
A glimpse of a light in this void of existence.

Now witness the end of an age.
Hope dies in hands of believers.
Who seek the truth in the liar's eye.

Take hold of my hand,
For you are no longer alone.
Walk with me in hell.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3577712/

Checkit yall! shes got a TON of slots open! so nab them before they are gone!

If i survive tonight....then ill see you tomorrow....

its a lie..i can never win...no matter how hard i try...good guys always finish last...sorrow is my only friend..grief is all i know...sadness rules over me...why i keep living this pitiful existence..i dont know...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8231269/

Check it out!!! Shes got some Adoptables for sale!

Why am i so excited? i just have this happy bubbly feeling deep down inside and it wont go away..and i like it...i havent felt this good in months...hope to talk to her again soon...

Hope....it has been rekindled....

CHECK IT OUT BRAH!!! : https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3557693/

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm findin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here


i hate how right Macy Gray is to me right now....

https://www.livestream.com/damagefoxsden


hes doin Tarot Card readings and a whole lot of other cool stuff! check out his journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3552551/