i feel so horrible right now...i havent been able to keep down any food or fluids all day...i just want to talk to someone...anyone....please...someone...anyone..talk to me...you can reach me on yahoo: its: Jedimaster01us


(its sa super old account, but im just too lazy to make a new one)

Dont you hate it when...no matter what you do...no matter how hard you try, no matter what you sacrifice..you always end up in pain...all the good...all the triumpths..all the love...and you still get hurt..over...and over...and OVER...and OVER again..yuet it seems to everyone else...that your not the real victim...everyone thinks your the one instigating everything....all i want to do is help and make peoiple happy...but all i get is strife and heartache....my heart is breaking...and it takes alot to get me here...but its slowly cracking apart, its hard enough trying to pick up the pieces from your loved ones heart...but your own at the same time...its impossible..yet..i still love her so much, i will go onto the dying edges of the world if it meant being closer to her...what am i doin wrong to deserve such pain???? i honestly dont know....from the deepest, darkest depths of my heart...i honestly..dont...know.......

i just have a horrible feeling that things are about to get interesting....

stolen from  yuuki_crimsonpaw

about  yuuki_crimsonpaw

1. Who eats more?
Most likely me..i pound down food

2. Who said "I love you" first?
We agreed that we said it at the same time, and i still love her <3

3. Who is the morning person?
DEFINATELY her

4. Who sings better?
She thinks i sing better, but its a lie its totally her

6. Who's smarter?
I would say that we are both equal in overall general smartness.

7. Whose temper is worse?
<.=.< hers...shes...got a temper and it comes out every once in a while..and its scary >.=.>

8. Who cries more?
me >.=.> jk, i really dont know...

9. How did you meet?
Through an acquaintance of mine...

10. Where are you both from?
i'm from NC and she's from NY.

11. Whose feet are bigger?
dunno..i wear a 9.5 shoe size..and i dunno about hers...

12. Whose hair is longer?
Hers...definately


13. Who's better with the computer?
i think her and i are about even.

14. Do they have pets? How about you?
She has 3 dogs and 3 cats...i just have one dog

15. Do you plan on getting married?
we will have to see what the future holds

16. Who's the most stubborn?
imma be honest...Shes a bit stubborn sometimes...it keeps things interesting <3 haha


17. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
Me...its just who i am...with her..it takes a little while cause well...shes a bit stubborn..like 16 says xD

18. Who asked who out?
I asked her out at midnight on christmas eve <3


19. Who's more sensitive?
thats hard to tell...

20. Who's taller?
im only like an inch taller

21. Who has more friends?
not really sure


22. Who has more siblings?
She does, shes got 2 brothers and a sister, and i only have a sister...

23. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
id like to, but...for now we are kinda workin on that....

so yep, got a new job..so you know what that means? TIEM FER TATOO!!!! once i get the money, my room mate, myself and my best friend from highschool are all gonna get tatoos done...and its gonna be epic!

Stolen from  _yuukicrimsonpaw


[] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend (no, but she knows who she is, and she will always remain in my heart)
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still marriedtogether.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
[] There is a swimming pool in your backyard
Total so far: 5

[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[] You have never been beaten up
[] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[] People don't use you for something you have.
[] You have been to a concert.
Total so far: 10


[x] You have over 50 friends on Facebook.
[x] Your parents let you have a Facebook.
[] You get an allowance.
[] You collect something normal
[] You look forward to going to school.
[x] You don't wish you were someone else. (totally took me like 5 tries to read this one right...im kind of an idiot...)
[] You play a sport.
[] You do something after school.
Total so far: 13



[x] You own a car.
[] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[x] You are happy with your appearance.
[] You aren't self-conscious at all.
[] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
Total so far: 16


[] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about so many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[x] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[] You own a pet
[x] You know the words to 5 songs
[] You don't have any enemies
[x] You are a generally nice person
Total: 22

multiply by 3
i guess im 66% happy?

maybe there is hope...just maybe....

i havent slept in days, everything is just blurring together....i hate myself for what i did, but it was for the best...she will always think of me as the bad guy, but it was for the best for her. i did what i did for her and her alone...i just hope she forgives me and i hope she realizes what i did was right for her....seeing her hurt is the hardest part.....

so cold...dont know what to do..but im fed up with everything.....ill just freeze to death on my own then...its only been hours and it feels like days...havent slept since..and probably wont for a couple more days

fuck this journal

why do you hate me so much brain? all i wanna do is write a song...or a story... >.=.<;

stolen from my mate
so yeah keepin in mind i am mated to my mate (duh) just post whatever

If you're too embarrassed to say it here note me, otherwise post here

1) Would you have sex with me if you could?

2) Have you Thought about it before?

3) Where would we do it?

4) Top or Bottom?

5) How many times?

6) Position(s)?

7) rough or soft?

8) Lots of foreplay? or get right to it?

9) more than one person? or have meal to yourself?

10) what do you think it would be like if you could?

have fun...just..not too much.hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzirfZMWHyo&feature=plcp

rock to this while internetting!

Check IT! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7941639/

well...got fired today...pretty bummed, at least i can afford to pay most of my bills...looks like i gotta kick some ass to make some extra money

CHECK EM': http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3422677/

just post a ref and be a beast!!!

keep yo pimp hand strong friends!!

check dis journal yo: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3420718/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3411840/ <<<ish here :D

computers up: check
chillin: check
cleaned appartment: screw that

Current Objective: See if i can make my computer last more than 30 minutes before i load it up with crap.

Quite the eventful and busy day huh?

This woman,, my woman, my best friend, my mate, my girlfriend, my lover. Its almost indescribable how much I love her. Its driving me crazy each and every day that she is not her in my arms, or standing by my side as we walk. Every morning I open my eyes and wish that it would be the morning that I wake up and see her smiling face next to me. All of this will be soooo worth it when she finally comes down to stay, forever. Jennifer, you deserve to be held, to be kissed, and to be loved every minute of every day. I love you baby, forever and always.

Finally moved out and moved into an apartment with my best friend from college. This is so fantastic, finally got the cable and intermets up and running, this place....is awesome. Can't wait to finally move my mate in, in a couple months

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3316357/

BOOM! CHECK IT!

dear lord, this week has been stressful. been trying to scrounge up as much money as possible to pay all my bills. and damn it was a close call. job still has cut my hours back and lets just say i havent been managing my money too well this month. somehow by the grace of God i managed to pay all my bills and with only 10 dollars to spare! this is the poorest i have been ever. at least i have everything slowly working out...and AHMAHGAWD! IM STARTING TO MOVE OUT TOMORROW NIGHT!!! AAHHHHH!!!! SO EXCITED!

i posted a little Back in Business poster earlier. well rendering is taking a little longer than expected, and i have to leave for work very soon, so ill just post the video up later tonight when i get off.

See yall then!

Why I Love Her:
Oh how I love her, let me count the ways:

I love her because I love her.
I love her because she loves me.
I love her because she understands me.
I love her because shes the only one.
I love her because she cares.
I love her because she makes me feel this way, its so wonderful.
I love her because every night I fall asleep with her in my mind.
I love her because I wake up with her on in my life.
I love her because without her i would be nothing.
I love her because she supports me.
I love her because she is always by my side.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

I love her because Shakespeare wrote about her before she was even born
I love her because she is wonderful.
I love her because she is flawed. even a diamond has its flaws and they give it character.
I love her because i will never leave her.

Rick Astley was right:
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Baby, i will be by your side until my dying day.

I love you Jennifer Mae Wheeler