I've been drawing since high school, but professionally I've began when I was 21, now I'm 30 and I've been doing this for almost a decade. Something that I wanted to do ever since I started was to make a living by doing art, not just by taking commissions or working in a studio on someone else's projects, but actually making my own projects, tell stories through drawings, comics, animations, almost any for of visual media. Of course through out these years, so ideas changed, some got scrapped, there has been some setbacks, but the core idea of basically making my own studio is still there. Have I got to where I wanted after all this time? Pretty much yeah to an extent.

On one hand, professionally things are looking up, I've learned so much and I still do, Drawings, Comics, Paintings, Pixel Art, Traditional 2D Animation and now with the commissions done I can hop back at learning 3D, on that regard I'm really happy at myself that I've managed to learn this much. I'm at a point that I really like my own art, despite still having room for improvement in some areas, I'm happy to experiment and trying new things to keep improving my art. All this dedication has also been paying off as a business, allowing me to make a minimum wage and even more at some point, allowing me to quit telemarketing, earning more than they were willing to pay, doing something that I love, for people that actually like the stuff I make.

Now on the other hand, financially I'm doing ok, but I think socially and mentally things have been spiralling ever since 2020. Losing long time person I thought they were my friend, the only friend and partner I had at some point went missing and specially a miserable experience trying to connect with artists that have been reaching out to me lately, I've been feeling pretty lonely and stuck with this mindset that everyone is lying, nobody actually likes me and anything that I do. Most artists so far that have been reaching out to me I really don't understand, they go through a bunch of hoops to reach out to add me on their Discord, but once they get me there, they either don't want to talk, share or do anything, then get mad at me once I confront them about it, or they come claiming to really like my stuff and wanting to do stuff with me, but everything has to be completely one sided, if I'm not on board for any reason then forget about anything they've said.

I've come to realise after a while that non-artist costumers are more reasonable and treat me more like another person than often other artists, the only problem I have is my difficulty to connect with because often they don't have much that actually interest me besides money, which I'm indifferent for it, and often conversations seems more like discussing stuff they want to buy next from me than actually sharing an interest. But I do appreciate that they try to talk, even if it doesn't work out, some people just don't have enough rizz to peak my interest, at least it's much better then having artists trying to reach out to be distand, acting like I'm not wanted around or they like my style, but not what I do and expect me to bed backwards and accept one sided deals.

Sometimes I feel like succeeding at doing art professionally was a mistake, or a monkey paw wish, where I did realised my dream to an extent, but I'm losing at connecting with others, specially other artists. I've also been a bit blindsided by not trying harder to connect with non-artists, with some of them been and still my best friends to this day. Or could also be that the nature of social media nowadays seems to have changed the way people try building connections, which I really don't think are real most of the time, it seems like people connect to each other only to boost their own numbers, it's all about networking, cold calculating PR move. Regardless, as long I'm still drawing, working on my own projects and some people are actually enjoying the stuff I put out, I can stop thinking about it for a while and get through it.

I still love doing art, I'm proud of what I can do and I like to keep learning to do more with it, despite feeling isolated, the financial pressures around in the field, A.I. getting better and becoming more prevalent around, as long as I'm still drawing and having fun, I'm not all that bothered by them.

I also want to thank everyone who after all this years, still supporting me despite my often constant moves to turn my business away from just selling commissions and just giving art to others to focus on doing my own stuff, for those that came just to see what I can do and want to keep me doing it, engaging with my art despite me not responding to comments most of the time, still support me despite some long periods with little or shit content, for those who bothered to ask me how am I doing before wanting to talk about business, y'all make all this job worth it and one of the reasons why I want to keep learning more stuff to do when comes to art.

Hey ya, just wanted to make this journal to tell people the state of things over there.

The apology
First I wanted to issue an apology for everyone subbed on either of those platforms for the lack of content output of mine through this year over there, it was due to me having to halt all projects I was working on to focus on a lot of commissions I've had to take and did it 2x this year. The first time was late February, where I took commissions to help my family with apartment expenses so we could move in, and on late August I did it again to buy a little motorcycle now that I finally have somewhere to park one.

As great as those things were, it unfortunatelly got in the way of every project I had planned to finish this year, an animation that I've started in 2024, and a 3D model that was working early this year during my break, the only big thing I did this year content wise was that was one little comic of Foxy Stuff, the rest was mostly random little drawings just to fill the gaps of content over there.

As of right now, I've finished all commissions and I'm finally going on my long break that last until February sooner. I'll still be around posting some content over there, but I'll be mostly chilling and this time, while on my break I'm really not feeling like touching any rewards.

Updates
Something I've been considering for some time is a roll back on my rewards to the old model, where each tier get a different style of drawing, instead of what I do right now where all tiers gives you the same style of drawing with the only difference is the discount when buying commissions. So for example, on bronze tier you get a sketch, silver you get a flat colored drawing with cel shading and on gold you get a full digital painting. I'll start setting things up through December.

Things to come
Now that I've got my bike and all the commissions I've had to take finished, the flow of content will get back to normal by February (after my break) and I'll adopt a different workflow on my projects. Instead of locking in trying to finish one, I'll be bouncing between 2 of them each 2 weeks and even if one is done before the other, I could bounce between working on a big project and do some other drawings to fill the gap of actual content, I think this will really come in handy when I hop back into gamedev again after I'm finished with a 2D animation here and the 3D model.

I don't think next year commissions will get in the way as it did this one since there isn't much I want that would be as expensive as the bike I've bought. The only thing I'm planning to get next year is a new GPU for my PC, but as for the rest, the support you guys give me over there is enough to get by most of the time and for that I give y'all the most sincere thank you~

Anyway, content wise on my subs/patreon, this year was ass with the lack of stuff done, things will be back to normal soon enough when I'm back from my break, BUT in the meantime, I'll be still be around cooking up some drawings and 2D animations tho~

ToS/Rules

- Send me a note/PM if you are interested;
- DON'T leave your requests on my Patreon, just say there that you'd like to buy a commission with your Discord (or Telegram) so we can talk;
- Give me a little overview of what you want on your note/PM with your Discord (or Telegram) so we can discuss further and I can get refs. and send updates;
- With the idea settled I'll ask for your PayPal so I can send you an invoice;
- No Refunds (I wish I could, is just no possible on my end, I've tried recently xwx");
- What you see there is what you get;
- I'll most likely deny ideals that involve my characters;
- I can deny taking the commission for any reason and I hope you understand;
- I recomend taking a look through my gallery to get an idea of what I draw and look through my profile to see what I'll and won't draw

---

If you want better odds of me picking your idea and having fun, here is some hints to go for:

- Pregnancy;
- Stuffing;
- Ferals;
- Taurs or Nagas;
- Size Difference;

Character wise

- Characters that have: Big butts, balls, cock, breast, belly or lips;
- Characters that are: Muscular, fat, skinny or short stack;

Other types of vore

- Unbirth;
- Anal;
- Tail;
- Navel;
- Breast/Nipple;

If you want to keep it more SFW don't worry, some fun can be had there too~

Something that quite often keep showing up in my timeline on social media when people talk about vore is how much the fun in vore is in the bullying and cruelty of it, making it more about snuff than anything. I also see once in a while people saying that vore is about closeness, feeling protection, wholesome stuff and stuff like that, but to a much smaller degree in comparison to the most comments of people being really mean about it.

Seeing that on social media and some interactions I've had, I think I'm in a different wavelengh, cuz I don't really vibe with either of those two types of vore enjoyers, fatal and endo folks.

I guess my disconnect begins on how hard or serious people go about it. The ones talking about unwilling/fatal stuff I just feel unsettled by how hard they lean into it. The more wholesome and endo stuff I just get kind of bored and gloss over often the person for me, seems like they're thinking too hard about it and trying to make a logic for it to work and seems like they're trying to appeal to folks that don't like vore.

Nowadays, the way I like making my vore is more carefree, ever since I've stopped trying figure out a way/logic for it to operate years ago, I've been enjoying it much more, mostly focused on just having fun with it, like an old cartoon, just don't think about it. I like making vore more as something that happens in a story than the story be about vore itself, as in, there is not much logic about it, or at all, no world building around it specifically like a "vore culture" or something, no "pred/prey" stuff. I like to keep it shallow and simple, just something fun, silly and hot, nobody is hurt, nobody trully dies, in the end it's all just a cartoon... a lewd cartoon.

Despite enjoying both sides, I feel like the way I make it really appeals to no one. I think the reason it's because it's not that deep and my focus seems on something else around it. Not caring about vore allows me to be more flexible for example, most of the effort goes into building up some little backstory, giving them something to do or having fun with other stuff... Like which arsenal a character will have, what car they drive, vehicle he pilot, how much damage their combos deal, stuff like that.

The vore side thing I give 'em without much thought, but it becomes a bit complicated since it seems like nobody seems to care or appreciate anything that isn't vore focused.

...I also feel like vore has changed, it has been a while, I don't see anybody around anymore concerned over characters getting digested, u know, "Is he gonna be okay?" type of stuff, now what I see more is the opposite, people always hoping if a character is going to die and saying how hot it's gonna be because of it.

Anyway... Just wondering if someone also made this observation, how most vore fans actually like it, just feeling like maybe I'm missing something.

And still going, getting better and doing more stuff as time goes!

Despite everything... Life is still good

Cheers

:3

Hey there, just wanting to give an update to what is going with my patreon stuff and why everything has been halted.

I've resumed work on my comic and as a side project I was learning Blender during the weekend, everything was going as planned until near the end of February, apartment stuff finally began moving again and I had to stop everything to pick some commissions to help my family with it's expenses, so the comic that was supposed to be finished in March along with a 3D model of Dr Starline, might be finished now between April and May. I've still got 2 commissions left to finish, but I'll do one this month and the other on the next. Well, at least while working on commissions, I've made some quick filler stuff there.

For everyone who bought commissions and specially those who've supported me through all this time, thanks a lot, because of your support I've managed to help my family pay for the apartment expenses and got it ready for us to move in quite quickly and this Monday we'll be finally there!

I'll resume work on my big projects and rewards on the 10th, when we will be better settled there~

For a pretty long time I've been thinking about it, but never actually did like, to a stance about anything regards to politics because for real, the headache of arguing with randoms online about it is really not worth it also just in general I don't really engage with people publicly, like leaving comments around, tweeting at other people 'n shit, so I mostly just make drawings and lurk around, but something have pushed me a while ago after I wrote a journal about GTA 6 here. I was just talking about my experience with past games and concerns, but only talking about it GAMEPLAY wise, how the game might be a multiplayer focused thing with single player being barren with content, and then one of those guys "anti-woke" guys shows up and holy shit... So I'm writing this journal to show where I stand on this issue and ward off these people in they think I'm on their side since I didn't said anything after the fact.

I'll be brief about it for now, but I might come back in a near future talking more about it a bit more in depth. For those complaining about diversity in media in general, characters race (usually about black characters), woman, lgbt+, disabled characters, if the only reason you dislike them being represented in media being because of that, that X media only works because the protagonist is able-bodied, straight and white (no offense), then don't complain when people think you're a bigot, saying that in the furry fandom of all places and to a BLACK gay guy from Brazil ffs. I don't want any business with you regardless of you being polite, friendly, civil if you still a bigot. With that said, I do think people can change for the better so snap out of it, get out of this 2016 culture war bullshit.

About my opinion of "woke culture" I'll just say this for now. I don't think that's the problem, I don't think most people see it as the problem, it's not marginalized groups being represented that is the issue for most people, or the politics in that piece of media, but often how BADLY they're handled, dishonest pandering and scapegoating, using them as a shield to shift the focus away from the actual problems that X piece of media has, from awful writing to (in case of games) broken product.

Anyway... Expect more journals or drawings talking a bit more about politics in the future, doing it more as a way to vent about it and like in this journal, show or remind people where I actually stand on something so I don't racists thinking I'm their buddy, but not that much because as passionate as I'm about it (despite not engaging with it publicly), it's an absolute shit show drain for your mental health, I mostly just want to draw stuff that makes me and my audience happy... Stay safe and be strong.

For a while I've been noticing a pattern coming from fans of those fetishes that have been bothering me for a while.

So far my biggest beef are with UB Fetish fans, they tend to be quite demanding and pretty disrespectful. At best, most pieces that has it, they imediatelly demand more from me and ask if next piece is gonna be about it, they sub to my patreon, never claim rewards, but they reach out to me in the DMs to demand me to make more stuff with UB. At worse they decide to be rude about it and be passive aggressive because something that I've made was not about UB, and bro do this after I manage to put together big projects that I was quite proud of, right after I finish, dumbass would post on my patreon or reach out directly to me to be like "I wish it was UB...", "I hope there is UB next time...". I may not be a fan of making rewards or taking commissions most of the time, but I much rather just take them for you than having your annoyin' asses trying to just pressure me into making all my art only about your shit.

With Foot/Paw fetish folks I didn't have much issue with by comparison, I guess cuz most of them come knowing it ain't my thing, but I feel like I should push them away a bit because something I've been noticing with the interactions I've been having, it's like they slowly try to push your boundaries with each drawing shifting more and more the focus on some character's feet. Maybe it's some "corruption fetish" that the person has, that they think they can get me really into by tricking me into making them.

Personally about UB I really like drawing, just a bit behind Oral Vore, which is my bread and butter, but I quite like it, but it just spoils the fun knowing that every time I make one, there is going to be some annoying gooner fan trying to spoil it by being rude demanding more.

About Foot Fetish... I'm kinda indifferent, I see it more as a fun gag than a sexual thing.

Anyway I think that's it =w="

Just wanted to share an observation I've been making through out the years, ever since I've start using Twitter/X more. For a while seeing other artists talking about art, I've been getting a vibe from them that, a lot of them doesn't actually enjoy making art itself, they're just in for the money, clout, or something.

From seeing posts of them making and sharing memes of how much doing art sucks before the pandemic. During the pandemic, seeing post of artists "joking" talking about getting into the furry fandom to make money out of them assuming everyone is rich idiot, crazy to buy any furry art. After the pandemic and AI started to shit out decent looking art, artists talking about completely giving up on art in general if art is no longer profitable, but after these AI concerns seems to have simmered down, something that got me thinking was seeing artists pissed off and talking about giving up after seeing the progress PewDiePie was doing at learning to draw legit and the arguments for it from him having money to even someone talking about his genetics...

All that just makes me wonder, I feel like something changed a lot along the way. Talking with some friends about it, it could be the nature of social media, Twitter in particular, of people trying to farm engagement, at best trying to be "relatable" with posts making doing art sound like just a miserable struggle, at worst is outgrage bait with displays of pettyness and envy towards anyone doing a bigger number than them, including other artists. Other thing could be how easy it is to monetize your art now a days in general, making passion for art either take back seat or be completely absent. I know that everywhere there were always been oportunistic people that are only in for the money, that we're now adults and finances is something to be concerned about, but something has changed were joy for doing art it's not really a thing anymore, just a means to an end...

Is it wrong just doing art for money? Not really, but I don't think it's a mentality to have and backfire badly, from big studios destroying franchises and even themselves trying to make an "infinite money glitch" to small artists alienating their audience by seeing them as just a source of income, to trying to promote themselves at other artist's expense.

Of course, just because something was made with legit passion doesn't mean that it will be finacially successful, but doesn't mean it can't be valuable, in a personal level or to another people.

Anyway... Making money with art is good, but fun and passion comes a long way, it's good for you, your audience and specially your mental health~

Tune in next time where I talk about politics and put everyone in Hope Eradicated

I feel like next year is going to be quite productive.

Despite things this year not going well as I've hoped, with game dev not going so well as I hoped it would and got in the way of other projects that also had to be put aside soon after due having to take some commissions, at least I've managed to set up some big projects to finish next year. So my plans for 2025 are:

Comics
Early 2025 I'll finish up a stuffing comic of Lauren that I've sketched this year and maybe later I can do another follow up comic to it, if not that.

Animation
I've finished sketching an animation of Tai, I think this project will take 2 months to complete, more than my previous projects.

Game Dev
Despite my attempts this year not going very well, I'm still wanting to jump back into it, approaching it on a different way. I've decided that it might be better for me to download game projects on itch.io and build my game on them as a base. At least something I got out of my first attempts is that, now looking at an line of code I can get what is going on.

3D
So far I've got no plans for it besides learning it this next year. I'll be using Blender for 'em. Something I've been wanting to make Low Poly/PSOne-like models and animations with them.

Anyway, hope y'all have a happy new year!

Ever since I've turned 29 months ago I've been having this growing feeling of anxiety and hopelessness, that I might never actually make friends with anyone, much less find a partner, that nobody actually likes me and I'm only exist to serve people around for little to nothing in return. More and more I've been contemplating suicide after I reach 30 cuz I feel like, maybe life doesn't get better than that, being nothing but a tool to serve other people and their friends, I don't get to have boundaries or ask for anything in return.

But also I gotta recognize that I'm still emotionaly fucked with past experience of breaking up withsome of my old friends and some people that have been reaching out to me in the last couple years, it's been hard to get over, specially since for 4 years my life has been held hostage by an apartment that is that is almost 3 years late, making it 5 years of wait, severely limiting anything that I want to pursuit because where I'm living right I barely have space for anything and was constantly advised into not doing anything because "the apartment is almost done, then you'll have the space to buy your stuff". The first 2 years were okay, cuz I was seeing the apartment in the works being raised and stuff, but then construction stopped at like 95% because the guy responsible was a scumbag and financial problems caught up to him, so a lot of things got in the way and it slowed to a crawl, everyone who bought it got fucked, so for 2 years things around it were developing very very slowly. Only now around the half of 2024 is that things got resolved and the apartment is completed, now we just half to wait a little longer so the bank allow us to pay to get the keys and finally be able to move in, most likely will only happen early next year. But for 5 years in a roll my life is nothing but draw, exercise around the same neighbourhoods, sleep, I can barely buy anything because where I'm living I have no space to put things, been really considering moving out on my own... I just want to live a little, have something to work for, cuz right now I've been working for years to not being able to pursuit anything, a better desk for my pc, a tv, a car or motorcycle.

I'm trying to change this mindset I've been stuck for a couple years at this point, that nobody likes me and I'm just a tool for everyone. Recently I've actually started to change is believing that maybe the people came to support me on SubscribeStar or Patreon, actually enjoys the things that I make, that they are enjoying the little show I'm trying to put on, a bunch of people subbed to me recently after my last teaser post. The only thing I feel a bit bad about it was the timing cuz people came around the time I was wrapping things up to take a 2 months vacation from December to January, I'll still be around posting a couple drawings there during this time, but I wouldn't be working on my big projects like a big animation, comic or gamedev and drawings are few and far between... But the point I'm trying to make is that I'm happy to see that people actually likes the things that I make on my own, before I felt that most people were there just for the rewards at best or at worse, thinking that by giving me money they can pressure me into making something else that only caters to them specifically.

For all the people that came to support the little show I'm trying to put, my drawings, comics, animations and stuff, thank you so so much and you're one of the main reasons I like to keep pushing into improving and learning new things such as gamedev and soon I want to learn 3D model. The main reason I like to do it it's because I actually really enjoy doing art, it's not something I only do it for money, it's one of my main hobbies, if at some point it's not financialy viable to work as an artist full time, I still want to keep doing art as a hobbie and a way to build connections with other people and specially other artists, through collabs or trades. But you reading that supports me, just financialy, but with favs, likes, share, comments etc., I want you to keep that in mind, y'all are also the main reason I like drawing, it has nothing to do with the numbers, the engagement and all this things that I see most artists constantly yapping about on social media, I'm just happy to see that you like my shit.

Anyway... Looking up for 2025, when I finally move to the apartment I feel like life will begin making sense again since I'll have a nice space to pursuit things and stable roof for my next move.

Just feeling like yapping a little bit about gaming today~

And I say that because after a long time after GTA 5's launch, I finally managed to play it, because I don't have a console and didn't have a PC that could run it, I gotta say that despite having fun with it, I like the characters and storiers, gameplay wise I've dropped and didn't came back sooner than I did with GTA 4 which I 100%'d all DLCs... And doing that left it with a very bad taste in my mouth, but it opened my eyes and realise that 100% a game today it ain't worth it, it's just padding.

I've dropped GTA 5 very soon due how annoying money managing is, most things that you do barely give u something or gives nothing at all, but even after watching guides to make sure every character has a good sum of cash, there ain't many things around worth spending it on since you can't keep what you bought, u dress up your character in a way only for him to remove those clothes after a short while, buying a car only to lose it for ditching on a mission, get it destroyed or it sometimes disappears from your garage and apart from the player's cars, customization on every other's cars are very mild. In GTA 4 you get money more often, and by the end u get a nice sum, but the game has little to nothing for you to do besides the main story, and the other things there is is not worth it because ur not rewarded with anything.

Meanwhile playing vanilla GTA SA, which I played a lot on the PS2 and PC, despite never 100%'ing it, I had no problems, doing it over and over again the side stuff because of the cool rewards it would give you, buying houses, car customization, side missions, collectables, clothes and more all these letting things in it were worth doing and fun to.

I think my only concern of GTA 6, when looking at GTA 5 and GTA Online, is that there is a chance of GTA 6 single player content being more barren than GTA 5 which already has less things than GTA SA, with all content releasing being multiplayer focused "micro"-transactions and/or locked behind subscription services... At least it's not gonna come out as an umplayable mess like wwith an afternoon worth of content like PayDay 3 tho.

I just want to say thanks for everyone who supported me through all these years, with comments and favorites, I may not engage directly, but it makes me happy seeing people interacting with my art, and supporting me financially by buying commissions and supporting me on Patreon and SubscribeStar, from the smallest sub to the highest. Thanks to your support, because without it, I wouldn't be living the dream of doing art for a living and doing quite well enough to not only support myself but also being able to help my family when needed.

With all that said, part of me wonders "why", cuz when I look at the way I work compared to other artists around, I feel like it shouldn't be the case. I don't network with other artists, no community building, hardly keep up with trends and stuff like that. I think I'm one of the few artists that dislikes doing commissions and avoid having to take them as much as possible, only on an occasion. I've only being relying on mostly just doing my own thing and getting better at it, hoping that people would come to see it and be kind enough to pay for me to do more... And yet, so far it's been working, would work even better if I sold myself out more, but I'm doing alright as it is, working more like a museum.

Also wondering if u're a Patreon, why ur supporting me there, if ur actually there to support my work or if it's the rewards. If it's just to support, I deeply appreciate it and I hope you're enjoying my stuff! You're giving me fuel not only to keep going but also go even further, by learning new things, techniques and styles! Now for the rewards a little word of caution if you're new there, since my focus there is on my own projects than to take rewards, I often tend to change them around in a way to reduce their flow so they don't get in the way of them, sorry about that.

But anyway, again, thanks everyone who supported me through all these years and there will be bigger things to come art wise from me, they might be mostly for me, but I hope you guys enjoy too~

For those subbed to my Patreon or SubscribeStar or interested in subbing on 'em.

I'll have to change the rewards a while to give more way for the commissions I'll open up soon. The reason being that I need some money to help mom to secure the keys to the apartment she bought for me and grandma, in total me and her have 7k in my currency (BRL), I'm not sure how much grandma have but I'm covering for her just in case.

So the changes are gonna be that:

- All art reward tiers will only give sketches;
- The higher the tier you sub, the bigger the discount when buying a commission;

I'll start doing now, for those already subbed and are waiting their rewards, will get them as they were before the changes, for those that joined recently or now after this journal, the changes already apply.

Now for those who are not interested on the reward and are just there to support, I just want to say thank you and I hope you enjoy the early access content available over on my Patreon's Discord and SubscribeStar.

About the commissions, I'll be opening for pixel art stuff as well, soon enough I'll release a price sheet for 'em.

I'm wanting to buy a 27 inch monitor, 'cuz I've just been using my 16 inch pen display for it for quite a while and a generic xbox one/series controler because aparently 360 controller doesn't work well on Windows 11, it keeps connecting and disconnecting.

To better clarify one of my recent journals talking about vore burnout, to give a better idea of what I'd like to draw more, cuz like I've said, my issue is not with the kink itself, but what most people ask me to do with it. I'll write in the description, in case you want to ask something that picks my interest.

Around next week I'll post something along with a journal saying that it's open.