1 year left to be considered too old to be in the fandom :U

I'm gonna put it aside for a while to just learn how to code in Godot. At least I found out there is an online course that teaches you how to code on it and stuff and you learn by doing and following tutorials. I'll probably start doing it next week, I was so close to be done with my first round until I got stuck...

I hope to get back at working on my little game as soon as possible, I want to put out something functional this year.

Like, it still something that I enjoy a lot, to look and draw on my own, but lately I've really been feeling like I really don't want to draw them for others anymore.

When it comes to drawing for others I've just been feeling annoyed about it, doing it fast not because I got fixated on it and I'm having fun, but just doing it faster so I can move on and forget about it. Lately I feel that the reason it's because what people are requesting me is either like, the exact same thing over and over with characters that are either plain, or plain + visually annoying like, it's either average looking anthro, or the same anthro but "sparkle dog" with a bunch of colors and details to keep track of, and what they do is mostly same size oral vore, sometimes cock vore.

If it's not plain and generic, it's borderline asking for stuff that I wouldn't do, like I say that I don't want to draw humans (just as an example), so they come with like "She's no human, she's uhh... and Elf... with short ears ;D", or sneak them into my drawings by small parts of them sticking out imply that they got eaten. Basically they read the rules and try getting around them by being sneaky.

I think a way to remedy this (since I can't stop doing rewards or taking commissions completely) would be me having to give a little nudge, telling something I'd like to draw more for example: different types of characters like Taurs, Ferals, someone Skinny, Fat or Muscly, Small Pred/Big Prey or vice versa, someone character with big balls, or ass, tits or lips, other types of vore like unbirth, tail, anal, breast/nipple, or non-vore stuff such as stuffing and pregnancy.

Anything other than just same size, oral or cock vore of average looking anthros, or at least try make them a bit more interesting like with the setting or context for example. Sometimes it's not just how exoctic your character is but what you do with them.

Anyway... Thinking about making some sketches to give some visual examples of stuff I'd like to do and stuff.

=w="

I've wrote this little ramble around 2 weeks ago on another page and forgot about posting here. I'm doing alright now in case you're wondering, just felt like sharing it here for a bit of engagement.

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It's been sitting at the back of my mind for quite a while, bothering me, I've tried to ignore it and suppress it, but on the 8th it got pretty and I wanted get this weight of my back. I've spent a good portion of the night trying to write about it, but I didn't knew how to talk about it, now I think I've got it.

I've been wondering like, "would people here be interest on anything besides vore?", "do people even like the vore stuff I come up with?", among other things, because I feel like, when compared to other artists and figures, I have a pretty hard time fitting in. Years ago, one of the main reasons I've changed my fursona from a shemale fox, into the current hyper femboy fox-dragon hybrid, was because nobody wanted anything to do with her, "males only" thing, started not feeling good anymore being like that. Now my main sona is a brown horse... That I'm really thinking about turning into a brown duck, cuz recently I've been having more fun coming up with goofy things to do with it. Tai today ain't really my main fursona, now is my most important character.

When comes to vore, as much as I really like it, part of me feels it's not enough to get the attention of other artists or be liked by my public. One thing I came to the conclusion after a while observing other artists content, behaviour on social media and interaction with folks that reach out to me, is that I don't really fit the archtypes of people who likes vore, like being their mean-hungry-pred that is always preying on everyone and thing around, or a horny-prey-slut teasing and begging people to eat them, or the serious type that builds entire civilizations, complex rules and give it a deeper meaning.

Most people look like they enjoy it much more than I do by comparison. I'm that like gay guy that every other gay when they ask me if I'm and say yes, they say "you don't look like it" for not expressing themselves like one, in my case for being a bit shy.

I don't really have this "vore/kink as personality" like I've mentioned above for being a bit shy from doing it publicly, like doing vorny posts, engaging and entertain people's ideas in the comments about it. I think the vorniest thing I come up with some frequence is a little quip in the discription or joke in the title. This to an extent reflect on my drawings, most of them has no dialogue, if there is often me trying to be funny or clever than horny... I ain't that creative on that part.

As much as I like vore, I don't really build much around it by comparison beyond some occasional character designs, but I don't make them "vore personality". When making them I build them around places of origin like a Street Fighter character and things that they do like a work or hobbie. I don't really put much thought on vore, I just sorta have fun.

The point I want to get about all this is that I feel like, for not being "vorny" enough I'm either pushed aside or people try to push me into fitting these vore archtypes I've mentioned. I often feel like people don't really like what I come up with, but I'm seen as a good tool that they can use to get what they want, so I often get people trying to befriend me while we have little in common, push their tastes onto me but dislikes and tries to shut down anything I share anything. That nothing that I do it's enough, often getting people asking me to make for example, a version where the character eats more and more people, shove them in another hole and yada yada yada.

I think sum it all up. Just feeling jealous and frustrated, getting to see everyone around me exchanging gifts and showing genuinely appreciation for eachother and their work, and all I get is people demanding me to make something else, something bigger, better suit their taste. Other gets gifts with an air of care to it, with quality and meaning behind it, and in rare occasions when I get it, I feel there is a disregard about me and that me and my characters are just something for them to use as they see fit, that I should have no say but be thankful for getting something.

Part of me feels like I've wasted my time. Years drawing, learning new things, trying to get better, not just because I really like it, but specially to socialize with other artists, be friends, exchange gifts, share stuff and work together, and getting a lot of mixed and bad results... I still really do like drawing and still want to get better, but I kind of gave up trying to socialize, instead of going after people I decided to let them come to me.

Thank you all who bought the commission on this first round!

I'll make a journal opening again once I'm done with the current queue, which will be around the middle of next month

The reason why I'm changing it's because I don't really have a relieable way to keep track of 'em, so I've been relying on trust... And this really does not sit well with me. Other it's to prevent people from getting "too much" out of me, patching exploits that allows you to ask for a sketch every month or allows you get something that would be waaay too big and would be a hell of a burden.

So my idea is to make a mix of the old model with the current one, like: I'll put each style of drawing in a different tier; The longer you wait, the more things you can add, it's gonna be a milestone, but instead of credits to spend, it's time you've been subbed.

I'm making it this way kind of as a way to dissuade people coming here only to get as many rewards as fast as possible. The goal of my patreon is to be able to focus on working on my projects and ideas, I ain't here just so people can use me as a way to get a cheap drawing.

I'll start working on the tiers, when I'm done, by near the end of this month I'll give more info on how it's gonna work.

This is kind of a "vent" journal, but more of a heads up of some things to come and I think burn a lot of bridges 'cuz of what I think Human and Demi-Human stuff :U

For quite a while I've been thinking about drawing some of it, but I didn't do it with fear of getting out of hand like, I end up making one or two, then a bunch of people will come demanding me to make more, being very pushy trying to buy commissions about it and befriend me to push me into making more stuff with human characters, drawings, rp etc.

It's more a matter of preference, ocasionally I like and follow artists that mostly, if not entirely, humans (or demi) being pred, for me they make it in a way I find it asthetically appealing. I tend to be pretty picky with it, I often don't like male humans and demis as pred, often the more realistic the artist try to make the worse I think it is, I like for example, a bit more cartoony and anime girls, something stylized.

What's also a matter of preference is that I think animals, aliens and demons for example, I find much more asthetically pleasing regardless of the style... most of the time and they look more natural as preds than humans, also, same reason I think demis make much better preds than regular humans.

"If you are okay with humans, then what is the problem?"

It's because mostly of what I stated on the beginning, if I start making some, they'll smell blood in the water and will come doing those things that I say, so I'm making this journal more as some kind of preventive measure to dissuade people from flocking here to push me into make more and take comms about it... And to add to this I got to say: Despite ocasionally enjoying humans as pred, I still think they don't make for good preds at all. That's something that I'll draw one my own sometimes. I don't really want to be your friend, if you are an artist, just because you on rare ocasions draws an anthro or feral as pred, that ain't enough for us to click, I know that this ain't your thing so c'mon... Stick with your croud instead of trying to bait me and push it on me.

I'm also thinking about not taking humans characters in commissions in any way, even as prey, to not give them ideas to experiment like trying to "slow boil" me with it.

Anyway, I'm just writing this so I can draw stuff like without folks bothering me so much about it, trying to set some boundaries.

I hope you all have a nice weekend

Take care <:3