Okay. I didn't planned to open commissions before April but some accident happened (no worries, nothing bad with me or my cats, just a little accident) and I need to restore the balance on my Paypal account. Aand to have some practice.

So!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16002446/ In style like this.
● transparent BG / onecolor BG
● feral (preferably) / feral chibi / anthro chibi (unpreferably) / sonic fan characters / ponies
● 5$ per one character
● additional character is 5$ too, sorry for no discount, but that situation really feels bad for me. =3=
BUT, if you are a friend or a good acquaintance of mine and want a pic with me, you pay for ONE CHARACTER - yours! NOT WORKS WITH TOTAL STRANGERS. Well you may just ask x3

● PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE PLEASE ●
● WILL BE FINISHED TODAY ●
● AVAILABLE TODAY ONLY ●
Slots are up to ten or a little more!

Please, pay a little attention to this, I'd be very grateful~

1 - - finished
2 - - finished
3 - - finished
4 - - finished
5 - - finished
6 - - finished
7 - - finished
8 - - finished
9 - - finished
10 - - finished
11 - - finished

Hiya. I'm here. My idea with trades crashed down so I suggest you... A FREE ART. What exactly? That's a surprise. How many? Five slots, for example. That may be a headshot or fullbody, with BG or without, or even something experimental, so try your luck here!

RULES
^{partially copied from BeastSoul's old raffle, sorry ♥}

■ Five winners!
■ You HAVE to be my watcher! I'll check this ಠ_ಠ
■ Post a comment on this journal with a link to a reference of the character you want me to draw!
■ ONE CHARACTER PER PERSON
■ Your character may be anthro or feral, any species exept humans ~
- (optional) If you make a journal on your page linking back to this raffle journal (and link it in your comment), you double your chances!
- (optional) you can write the name of some cool inspirational song or a youtube link to it. That increases your chance to get a full art from me if it helps me to catch the inspiration!
- If all rules above are followed, I'll put your name in and assign you a number here


RAFFLE IS ENDING IN TWO WEEKS
MARCH 22 11:59 PM UTC
(that will be the end of Sunday, if you are lost in time like me ;w;)

Ooookay I think i created profiles in skype and facebook but I'm not sure if it all is correct xD especially the skype username. looks like that logging from facebook was a bad idea >.<

Hiya, who wanted to add me anywhere?

What is happening around me?
I am scared of people being numb. Scared that no one believes me. That everyone thinks I am just making soap stories about my cat and mental problems.
I feel hysterical. That condition started since that cursed day.
How can I move on? If I run away now I'll keep running away forever. Should I stay on this page? Or simply ran away from here?
I am here already runned from one place. Why do I trying to hiding my country and my native language? Why I even saying this if I talked about people who don't believe?
What should I do? Make photos of cat's blood or vet visiting? Or make photos of my scars and fresh cuts? What should I do to stop being a clown on someoneelse's scene?
For all my life I was an ugly duckling. Lonely and weird. Nothing changed... I try to draw bright and cute and adoraadorable art but that's not what I feel. I wish for a world where people treat with artists not as a full-time workers. Money is not a reward... artists need words to continue their way. Only the strongest and professionalest can go on without it, but I can't sale my soul. I need to hear from the commissioner simple words and not just "remake this and that" and then maybe you get a candy. Even if you want something more - the work is done and why is it so hard to say a few words about it...

How many of you are like that? How can I accept new commissioners? Yes I am paranoid. I told I am sick. I don't know how to calm down how to stop writing this how to stop being scared of everything about art.

That hurted me much more than I might know. You know, my nation mostly hated me. I had an "ask me" account and it was full of "go away" "you can't draw" "you are think about yourself too many" and other dirty words...

I AM SORRY FOR BEING SO SENSITIVE BUT IT WONT SIMPLY GO AWAY.
Thank mostly people for kind words. But I am still afraid of being alone even online.

I don't care about money that much, I draw to feel that someone likes me and I am not useless. Please don't kill me. And think what you say when you ask an artist to redraw. Be sure you are kind to him. He's not a plumber, his upsetting ruins the work even if he is not that sensitive like I am.

I am mad. Crazy. I know. Put take me as I am. I do my best to draw for you all that you wish, just... just...

I wish this drama could come to an end at least. But day by day nothing changes and it's only getting worse... inside of me.

In nearest future I am going to left tsis profile and move to another one. I need to cut down the people who SOO WANT to me mommies and teach me how to live. I am who I am. I want do draw with pleasure again and not remaking picture that wasn't suppossed to be remake because someone couldn't read well. And here are people that I"m disappointed in. Someone I almost trusted turned her back on me. So easy to hate me huh?
The popularity like "400" watchers doesn't mean anything. Yes I am gonna loose my audience. But I can't stand this anymore. I adored this place, I felt this page like a safe home place. Now it's not.

So stupid to catch a shit in my face because people cant read or think. This is still painful for me. I got an anorexic-slender-whatever character that didn't fit in the ych and made all my best to keep anatomy like on the refference - and I am wrong. And I must start over again and draw for free an awesome bg. Disappointing. Honestly I'm afraid that other people are like this. Unthankful, full of shit to throw me in the face for my job. Like "I payed you so shut up now you don't deserve even one good word and must do everything I say". Honestly that's the first time I met person on FA who was that evil.
So I am making refund by refund now being afraid of that reaction from someone else. I honestly do not want to draw anymore. People are evil. I'm afraid of you. Any of you may kill me with a word.

Thank you for ruined birthday. I hoped I will calmly draw all day but it ended with that cursed conversation that made me hate my whole art. Not only this ych piece.

Everywhere and everytime whatever I am doing I am just a crap.

For everyone commissioned me:

Please check out your paypal. I made many refunds but accidentally made refund for wrong person who sent me pm just now.
Please check your paypal refunds and this link:
https://trello.com/b/ikbmhda3/commi.....rely-alive-v-v
If you'll find any inconsistencies then please note me immediately.

I cancelled mostly the anthro commissions and the hard ones because I want to finish all that as soon as possible.

I guess that commissions are closed forever now. Maybe I'll do a couple of chibi YCH but these be the last ones.
No worries, I'll finish what I have to do. But no more. That's turned out too unthankful.

I always working hard for every penny to hear a couple of good words. To see that people are happy with my arts.
But the story with last YCH taken by [someone] changed everything. Yes it costed more than my regular commissions.
Reason 1. YCH is THE ONLY ONE way to get an art from me without waiting your turn in the queue.
Reason 2. It's a fetish. I do not draw fetishes. So that's an extra price too.
Reason 3. I have a sick cat on my hands that needs an operation that would cost 40$. The meds from its other disease would cost 30$. And I don't mention here the medical pet food, analyzes, everyday injections and such. And damn I have second cat that needs to be feeded well to (thanks god he don't need a luxury pet food).

Several people gave me advices that I may double or triple my prices. But screw it. Looks like I'll have to make art for free if I don't want to get shit in my face again. I thought that FA is a calm place where no one will harass me like it was before. How wrong I was.
I don't know where I gonna find money for caring about cats. My mate can't gain these money so quick.

Okay. That's bad. I feel frustrated about my art. About myself. I don't know exactly what to do next.
My damn birthday is in few days and I want just to disappear while it will be. Honestly, I'd wish to disappear at all.
Okay, yes, I have that depression thing. Probably just it. I visited med a year ago but all those months didn't helped at all. It just got worse. Where I was sad - I became angry. Where I wanted to kill or make pain to myself - I wanted to hurt my only closest soulmate. That was terrible, I stopped visiting him because adverse from pills were terrible. And he didn't care at all. Did he ever care about what did he to myelf? I don't think so. After that I can't trust doctors in my country anymore. And I have suspicion that it's something bigger than just depression. Sometimes it's just breaking out of my control. Like latest days or weeks.

I don't know what to do. I'd closed commissions because it's getting hard to me, buuut the money. It's superimportant since I don't have and can't have a regular job.
I thought about making more ych's or trying auctions too. Would it work? I can't be sure.
Or to left commissions opened but raise prices twice until I'll get out of this (but haha I am worry to discover some greed in myself and refusing to bring prices back down). But yet to make ych with old prices. Ahhhsh.
And no, trying to work on shedule is killing me.

I'm totally stuck.
That thing in my head makes me wanna sleep. And I am. Up to 12 hours per day. Because I don't know how to escape it.

That's not a whining. I just trying to find a way out of this.

purr
Takeru

Okay, I feel I can't really catch the 'right' style for anthro chibies, so that type of commissions is temporarily closed. I'll finish already ordered cheebs in the style I have now and will be making ych's trying to find style that suits me well. I hope you'll like it ^^

Cool is hosting a 500 Followers free art raffle~
Their art is super cute, go check it out! ^w^
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6452004/

Hey there~
● Since I pulled myself together and get back in work I decided that I need some kind of list of waiting commission for people to see how pany of work is waiting and how long have they to wait. Sooo here it is:

https://trello.com/b/ikbmhda3/commissions
(I have not yet figured out completely at this website, but I think you can already take a look on it!)

● How do I manage it? Now I set myself the conclusion to draw at least one pic at a day. When I will feel myself more confidence in my powers I will draw more. Especially chibies. I know I can easilly draw about three chibie pictures in a day. (or even a little more). I just need a little time to catch the rhythm.
Exeptions: anthro pictures could take about few days.
● And I really need people who decided to commission me but didn't payed yet to note me again to get in the list of unpaid!
Because I got a little lost in my notes ^^''
● Also if you see a mistake in the queque (for example you did payed but you did'n find your comm in the list) feel free to note me too, but get ready to remind me yor paypal and/or when did you payed because I will need to check that!

● And one more thing: THANK YOU for all of your comments/faves/watches, I really appreciate that ♥
Sorry for no answering, but I am trying to read ll of them!

Payment - PayPal only with prepayment

One character without BG - 2$
Additional character +1$
Simple BG +1$
*з*

Some examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15319795/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14951683/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15161281/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15126760/

Full price list with other types of art:
http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/takerushko/