Hey all; if anyone's going, I'll be at AC this year! I'll be around from Wednesday to Monday, so if you're also around, hit me up sometime!

I hope to be running around like a chicken with no head, but you never know~

Otherwise, art's been slow going. I've definitely improved with painting, but still a long way to go. Been busy with job and a little stressed with career plans as well.
Hopefully the right pieces fall in place, but I'll see where it all takes me nonetheless.

Hope ya'll've been well lately <3

~Tales

Hey everyone, been a while!

Sorry I haven't been as active as I'd have liked to be. Inbetween trying to juggle my art and queue, perform well at work, nurture a social life and work on Video work things have been all kinds of askew.
Doing what I can though. Life is crazy- in a good way.

Really.

I'll be gone most of June and some of July, out of town and unable to art; I may try to write though, so there's something.

I hope you've all been doing well, I know a few of you have left FA, though I hope they're doing well still as well.

Do take care <3

First off, welcome new watchers! Much lovely disappointments ahead for you all is what I've got in store, so I hope you're ready for them c:

That being said,

How did I gain 14 watchers in one day? That ain't normal :v
I do appreciate you guys's interest nevertheless however :>

Not much else to updates on life. Replaced my tablet, working back up at trying to learn how to paint, and then how to paint faster >_>
I also need to get back to writing and video editing, amongst prepping for DnD, going outdoors more, and meeting with friends more. So much to do.

Also, my first ever badges came in! Badges because the artist liked the idea
of Tales's summer and winter coats, and decided to make one for each c:

They're pretty large.
Large enough to be fursuit badges, actually o-o

How are you doing?

Sorry I haven't been around very much guys, as usual, I've been busy.

My tablet broke on Monday. Digital art's gone on hold for a while, until I can replace it.
I'm getting a tiny bit back into traditional, it feels so different now that I've been immersed in
digital for so long.

Feels a little better. Still challenging, but...

We'll see where life takes me.

As usual. Still working through everything and playing catchup and moving into the next big thing at work for my unit.
Luckily, the installation had other plans, so we have a day or two to catch our breath.

Working on a lot of projects overall, hoping I can chew through this bite.

Art wise I'm trying to remember/relearn/learn how to paint. It might turn into a bastardization of painting and drawing but so long as it gets me where I need to go I won't complain.

Video. Oh Gosh video. Wish me luck with a cherry on top please, I've got a mountain to climb.

How have you been? c:

We SP Friday Night - Early Saturday morning.
C-17s.

We're off to train with the Indian Army. Sounds pretty exciting. I get to bring my camera/camcorder.
I'm excited for it. It's going to be nonstop though once we start until November, with testing and more
stuff straight away after coming back.
That's really the main part that sucks about doing what I do.
The time away from everyone.

Long hours.
Exhaustion.
Frustration.

It's probably not anymore worse than many other jobs out there in their differing qualities, but this is mine for now, and for now it's the bar I'll
have to set all my future career paths up against. Luckily, the bar is quite low in many areas that can be improved on, so I think it'll really help
me appreciate my lifestyle choices, social relations and jobs all the more in the future.

While I'm here though, better make the most of it.
And I intend to, 200%.
I'll be taking good video and photos out there to share with you all,
help me jump-start a youtube I made shortly after AC(Still have to post all of that too!).
If I can overcome the mountain of work to get there, of course.

About the Art:
First, a huge heartfelt thanks to you guys in the streams. You each and every one of you make my days better, and I mean it. So. <3
I'm quite proud of the progress I've made in the past few months. It feels better, even if I don't always feel that way.
I hope that this progression stays with me a while, I would love to share my headworlds with you guys done to a satisfactory level for me.


About the Future:
It's been killing me, but I've been hacking at it tooth and claw. I think I have a tentative timeline on where I'm going in the next year or two, or three depending
on what happens. It's...a pretty hard plan to explain out; not because the plan is complicated, but because I still have a lot of strings attached in many different ways
to it.

Until then, take care everyone, I'll hopefully see you all come October~

Drops a bunch of beakers full of various colored fluids that may or may not be dangerous

I think I'll be running around and trying to find people, as well as video and pictures for people. I'm not quite sure, I haven't finished any prep work for it soooooo
flails

• Where are you staying?
The Wyndham Grand Downtown

• When will you be arriving and leaving?
Getting there basically Friday. Like, actual 12am Friday

• Who will you be rooming with?
, a housecat from Devianart, and Kait's best bud.

• Where will you be most of the time during the day(s)?
Probably running around trying to figure out what to do :T

• What/where will you be eating?
Also will figure out while there >_>

• Will you be having a room party?
Nyet

• Will you be drinking and/or getting drunk?
So much soda. You don't even know.

• What is your gender?
Duder

• How tall are you?
5' 10"

• If I approach you, will you chat with me?
Yes, I will do the social thing and we can be social together :V

• If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Tap on the shoulder? Tackle?

• How many furry conventions have you attended?
This will be my sorta first.

• Do you own a fursuit?
Someday~

• Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Yes? Snuggles sounds kinda close though...

• How can I find you?
Skype or Noting me! I have a telegram too but I only just got it.
Skype - Talestries
Telegram - Talexis
FA - me.

• Can I buy you drinks?
So much soda. So much.

• Can I look in your sketchbook?
You can draw in my sketchbook!

• Can I take your picture?
Sure!

• Do you do free art, trades, commissions, badges?
Sure! No guarantee on quality*

• Do you have a table in the Artist Alley / Dealer's Den or a panel in the Art Show? If so, what are you selling?
Nope!

• Do you plan to volunteer?
Hmmm maybe, probably not though.

• What's your goal for the con this year?
Not lose my head. Kidding, I want to make a video like all the cool kids on youtube.

Any Questions?

srs srs.
I'm excited though. Gotta make a badge now!

And we worked anyways. Hah.
On the bright side, we have a 4 day weekend instead of a split 2 days, 1 work, then weekend.
Good 'nuff.

Washington is cold :T

Hello hello~

I may start posting my WIPs, as nothing ever seems to get completed around here. At least then you guys'll have SOMETHING to look at xD

Tale~

Hello hello!
SO!
I live :3
It's been a whirlwind of activity, but basically to recap:
I joined the Army!
Went places, did things.
Ended up in Washington State. There's a lot of tallass trees and nature around here, it's puuuuuurty.
Still working on settling everything out here. Day to day life can be challenging and busy but that's fine for now(Except for the part where I DON'T GET TO GO TO RAINFURREST. THANKS WORK >:C ).
Got a new tablet, so we'll see how that changes my style. It's a bit weird getting used to it, the surface texture of my old one was more papery, this one's kinda glass-like. Finding motivation to draw
is also being quite a challenge. Hopefully I'll find my stride somewhere along the way.

Don't be offended if I'm often unresponsive and late in my replies/interactions around here. I'm ah...kinda still in partial furry fandom social rehabilitation(it's like that part of me died with SheezyArt all those years ago).
What else...
Oh! These folder things!
Yay :3
...
Iono, stuff!

Running away to the army, bbl, eta 6 months-1 year.
take care, all.

That's how it's starting to feel at least.
I do a freebie for someone, it's nice, I guess.
the overall quality stays about the same.

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough?
Maybe something's holding me back.
Choking.

Going to try to push through my queue as soon as possible; the less factors the better.

Keeping on with getting in shape. More push.

Push push push.

How do you guys deal with frustration/blocks/stagnation?

I'll probably detail out the outcome at a future time for personal records.
Moving on:

Will continue to do freebies to keep things interesting, otherwise still working on finishing commissions.
I might consider cheap quick commissions after I manage to finish the current few. Maybe. I don't know >_>

I've considered going on a hiatus to try to get better without uploading half-okay crap and things of that nature.
Maybe letting the style settle down more, wherever it is currently.

The other option is to put caution to the wind and upload my practices, try to flesh out the storyworld with the mountains
and stuff. It's 1 of 3 actually, the other two being a sci-fi semi futuristic place and a modern-fairytale-esque universe(werecreatures, fae, sorta).
I'll consider it. Also, writing. I need to write more.

I ship out in January to OSUT, which is like boot camp and job training all in one. I'll be gone for maybe 7 months, maybe more.
There's a lot to take in still and a lot of things to finish up, but you look at the big picture too long and you get nothing done.
So for now, I just need to get in shape.

guess that's kinda it in the big scheme of things.
Cya 'round

At the very least you'll have an interesting read/ view of a unique perspective. Because entertainment values or something. Internet. I don't know. Stupid things.

I'm not sure this is the wisest thing to do. But thinking aloud helps you work through your thoughts/problems, as they say.

Suffice to say, the trip did not go smoothly. To put things bluntly, I got into a car accident. Minor in that both of us walked away from it unharmed(he was able to drive, actually, so awesome for him). It was my fault, therefore to me, major.

Also no, the pupils had nothing to do with it.

I'd like to say these days that I'm not a very superstitious person. I think it's to counter my mother who has lately become fairly superstitious herself these past few years. But tonight was definitely one of those nights that brought me back to my roots, being a kid, asking and trying to find out if God, or some higher power is in control somehow, somewhere. It's silly, but after all I've been through objectively there's an uncanny set of coincidences that's just beyond hard to notice, and not just tonight.

I would say; you say something, and say it with certainty, you begin to believe it. Once you believe it, you act under the guise that it's true, and as such, it has a higher chance to become true due to you. There's some truth to that, especially to people to say things about themselves all the time "Oh it's because I'm old now." "Oh it's because I'm a morning person." And they become it. I don't want to attribute this to some kind of superstitious ominous signs I witnessed starting out my journey, and therefore fully believe into it, but again it's very hard to ignore.

I wasn't too jazzed about going to my friend's place to stay - I dislike driving to the city, mostly because finding parking is horrendous no matter where you are or when it is. It made the most sense however, given that we planned on leaving there early in the morning to head upstate for an event.

The main road I take out of my neighborhood leading to the main highway has a turn off, a small road off the main street. Driving down this street to the turn off, I was met with police and emergency services, flares, firetrucks, the works, blocking off the entire main road just after the turn off. Likely a house fire from the looks of it, though there wasn't any smoke at the time. Possibly burnt out. It was very ominous.

I had reached the main highway/route road when I received a call from my brother telling me to go home - the area I was driving to to stay overnight might not have been a good area(it wasn't too bad[my sister lived 3 blocks from there not too long ago]), and advised against driving his newer/fuel efficient/slower car - advice he took from our mom. Sound advice, really.

So I went back home.
Changed cars.
And faced the wall of emergency vehicles/flashing lights again.

Once back on the local highway headed for the main interstate, I passed an unusual amount of police cars and vehicles on the side - not to mention a car accident(minor but required towing, as seen by the tow truck lifting a car as I passed). To top that off, an unmarked police car had decided to drive along with me for a few miles on his patrol to assist any of the other 3 police cars we proceeded to pass on the side, pulled over with a vehicle, lights flashing. I'd never been on a single drive and seen this many law enforcement/emergency services before, even on the long trips to NYC, which not only includes NYC but the NJ Turnpike, both notorious for their state troopers. Actually it was highly unusual for that particular road itself, me having only seen one state trooper car on that road at any one time.

I had had enough sleep the night before. Hell, it was probably one of the few nights I had a legitimate full night's rest.
But as I neared the city over the bridge,
A change in speed,
A lapse in judgement,
An oversight.
Microsleep?
Road hypnosis?
Something, I don't know nor do I remember.
"Shit happens" is the phrase I think, applies.
A wall of red.

"This is it."
"This is how I'm going to die."
None of those thoughts. No time for those thoughts, no space. No way. No how.
As Sweet Brown would say, "Ain' nobody got time fo that"
(I'm saying these thoughts never occurred, it happened so fast. Also that's morbid.)

Red. Bright. Too close.
Oooooooohboy.
Don't try.
Do.
Adrenaline kicked in, brain into overdrive, instincts taking over.
Other lame-clear
Brake hard, let abs kick in, need that extra traction.
Swerve for the other lane, clear the car-don't turn so hard - we're still on a bridge.
Crunch goes the car.
God I hope he's okay.
Straighten out, good-stop thinking about him now he's fine it was only the corner.
Car okay? Something's scraping the road, sounds like plastic. Must be my bumper. Car is fine. Good.
Pull over as soon as you can(we were at the bottom of the bridge to begin with), wait for the guy to join you.
Done.

Approximate time: 2 seconds from reaction to contact to straightening out on the other lane.
As short as my life is, I don't think it could flash by that fast even if it tried.

The gentleman was nice considering the time of evening and the fact that nobody ever wants to be in a situation like this. We exchanged information. Tow trucks turned up, and let the guy know his damage, while noticeable (back corner of his car had crumpled slightly from the side-swipe), was superficial and he could easily drive home. So he did. My car was towed to a storage facility and I was able to meet up with my sister who lives in the city.

Family.
Comfort.
Guilt.
Shame.

I'm not denying my fault in any of this - although I may be taking it a lot harder than I should be(my sister's words). Even knowing how light this was and how much more serious it could have been, and how lucky I am. There's a lot of mental arguing in my head but what's done is done, and you can't change the past; except only in how you handle the future.

Luck. Something I apparently have in spades, knock on wood.

Oh, and when I came home earlier today from a eye exam(dilated my pupils to check them out), I bumped my trash can on the drive way (it normally sits right in front of my car when it's parked). Indeed as superstition goes, I bumped it on the exact same side as the one involved in the accident. Superstition. Haha. Eeee. ugh. Too much superstition. screw that bit.

Flashing lights, emergency vehicles everywhere, in what is normally a quiet town. Really hard to ignore superstition, that sixth sense that you just know something's off. Remember the movie Black Hawk Down? That moment the rangers go "He's never done that before!" "F*ck!" - exactly like that. I was feeling that in spades and ignored/didn't notice it/didn't give it enough precedence.

There are countless stories on 9/11 about families who weren't there but were supposed to be. A wife pulling her husband back into bed, a woman, rushing to a meeting at WTC getting caught in traffic with a fender bender, a couple who decided for the heck of it just not to go there that day. The church I grew up in is in Chinatown, with 2 sister churches located around the city. Those stories aren't made up. 3 church members died that day. All three churches in the network put together, some 40 odd members normally worked at the WTC daily. Many were late, even more didn't show up for aforementioned(and other) reasons.

There's a method in the madness. Somewhere. You just have to train yourself to recognize it.
Semper Vigilare I guess.

I sit here now in my sister's apartment, typing this down because when I try to recall it later it may not be as clear and this will be less painful, thinking through it all. How we'll settle it and take care of it is something for the next few days but cannot be done now. In all honesty it won't be too bad considering the damage(knocks on more wood). But I have to get it off my chest for now, there's nothing I can do right now this second except sleep, and wake up tomorrow to begin working things out.

...

At a young age, I was told by my mother at my grandfather's funeral - the first relative I'd known to pass away - we're all here for a reason, and we fulfill that before we die. His (my grandfather)'s reason to grace the earth, for all the good and bad he encompassed as a person (a lot of bad I found out later in life) was to bring the family over from China. It made sense. Suicides are a tricky matter in themselves, as well as sudden illnesses but there is no invisible person. Everyone is loved by someone, nobody is missed by no one. And there is purpose in there, if unnoticed elsewhere. They say the best deeds go unnoticed, after all.

...

I may not be the most religious person out there today, but that doesn't mean I'm not spiritual. There's just so much out there in the world that one should reach out and learn before blindly making decisions, understand as many viewpoints as possible, to see it as a whole if possible before making a decision. After all, religion most likely started out based in culture and purpose. "Why are we here?" "_______must be why we are here, ________is our shared purpose on this land while we live." - That is if you believe in the whole "we evolved over millennia" and not "God created everything 6000 years ago, now shuttup and worship.(I kid)" Though that's not to discredit religion as baseless. Miracles, floods, reigns, falls, prophets, Many of them happened, the less believable to a lesser extent if they did to begin with.

I could go on and start pulling from a class on religion I took from a very interesting/varied professor and my own experiences/knowledge but it'll bore your socks off and we'll save it for another time.

Basically what I think I might be saying is...You're out there God, Yhwh, Allah, Karma, whatever your title is, and you can trust me 100% that I'm taking notes. I'm still here on this Earth. Still capable, still thinking. Still moving.

Still alive.




tl;dr I got into a car accident. No one got hurt. The entire episode was really really ominous. Like, really corny horror movie - so ominous it hurts ominous. I'm making a note to listen to my gut/sixth sense more. Oh and I ramble about being spiritual. No that doesn't mean I'm gonna go all witch doctor on your butts, just that it's very interesting how things work out. And this isn't the first time in terms of weird signs leading to something either.(I could ramble on about that for a while too, it's actually all very very interesting.)

I'll cover this journal up with the intended journal about life outside of this wrench and art, and get you guys back to your scheduled programming as soon as I can. Apologies for the airy quality of it all, I'm trying my best to keep a level head about the fact that I could have possibly died tonight, or even worse, injured someone in the process.

Like, woah. Seriously.
Life/art update coming soon. Gotta drive to a different state first though, so bbl.

Life moves on.

I got slightly addicted to Destiny about a week ago. It's pretty bad. I haven't been this drawn to a game since Halo 2.
Shooting aliens in space though.
Always a good time.

Gotta get back into drawing.
Gotta get back into getting back into shape.
Gotta get back into societal circles and talking with you guys.
Oh and can't forget streaming more.

Oh, a form I've been waiting 5 months for came in the other day. Gonna take it to my recruiter tomorrow, see if that gets us anywhere.
Shooting yourself in the foot really isn't all that fun.
If none of that nonsense works out for me in the end, well..
production jobs really are picking up, so that's pretty cool. Helping a buddy look into lighting kits and camera slider/dollies. Fun stuff.

I dunno. Other things?
I'm still working on consolidating my things online art wise. The whole process kinda reminds me of moving. A lot of preparation and loose ends to tie up.
Like all things, it takes time.
Time.
Sheesh, haha.

Getting the magic touch and then losing it the day after.



:C

Here and there.
Busy and not busy.
Still alive though.

Been meaning to write a journal the past week but I'll settle with a little nonsense writing for now.
Note: This does not reflect upon me or my current state. Nor is it really supposed to make sense I think. I'm not even sure there's a point. Whoops, haha

Fracture

Who are you?

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to hold on to?

What do you want to let go of?

What should you let go of?

What should you hold on to?

Who should you strive to be?

Who are you?

I feel as though I'm coming to that point in life again.
It's a constant worry, and at times feels almost unavoidable.

Running away.

Why can't I just hold fast,
stay strong,
be who I want to be?

Because maybe it's wrong.
Maybe it's not right.
Maybe it's not acceptable.
Maybe it isn't anything at all to begin with.
Being fluid, being adaptable, being open and approachable, easygoing.
All the while playing the spymaster, seeing all, holding all the cards.
Is it wrong?

Is it wrong to collect points to a problem?
To not immediately take a side until all possible sides and accounts are considered?
To not provide valuable information to fill in blanks that are assumed wrongly?

What does it mean to hold a secret?

To take it to your grave?
To let it color your portrait of someone?
To use the information in a way that they cannot?

Can I be trusted with a secret?

Yes.
At least, until I find out that it directly impacts someone I care about negatively.

Mentally.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Then no, I can not, in the interest of fixing problems, keeping people from places I have seen and cannot recommend.
Is there something wrong with being friends with everyone? Why must everyone always take sides and never move?
I get loyalty, I do. I understand grudges. But if I'm not with you, why must that mean I'm against you?
Why must it mean I'm avoidable?

Undesirable?

Untrustworthy?

Secrets.
So many secrets.
A real mask is only as good as that which is underneath it.
The moment it cracks,
Unless you leave,

So do you.

Journaling for Journaling's sake.

Well, let's see what's been going on on my side in my absence around here...

Got through to a guy working at the veteran's records office in Missouri about my medical records request. Turns out they got my request, which is good. The estimated turn around time though...October. I sent it out in the beginning of July. >_> The guy was cool about it though and said he'd put it on higher priority for military reasons, so I'll be checking back with them in about two weeks.

People around me are moving on with life, which has been a constant reminder to me to find a way out of this quagmire. Don't get me wrong, it's comfortable and I've no complaints about my current living situation, but it's just...too comfortable. However, to take a leap of faith out right now without a proper plan would be akin to jumping out of bed into a frying pan(heated, with oil). I hate not doing anything, and yet without a proper course of action greenlit by me I can't get myself to move forward, I mean, REALLY move forward. It doesn't help that by the time I find out if I can move forward with military or not, more work opportunities with production will be rolling in(my plans b and c in motion). Well, at least I'll have a plethora of choice when it all comes to.

My malaise with my online presence is sorta due in part to this uncertainty on my plan A. As my main plan gets put on hold, so does everything else that can be considered "leisurely". Including online presence. Being part of an online community is wonderful, but to really get into it requires a lot of time, which I have, but also a lot of stability, which I have not. I can't allow myself to get complacent where I am, lest I turn into that fat dude living in his mom's basement, never to see the light of day again (figuratively). It's just part of a bunch of personal sanctions to help remind me of my current situation. Like I needed more reminding, though... Overall I'll have to give myself more allowance to enjoy the time I've got here, as troubled as it feels, otherwise I won't make full use of it as I should be doing. You can only cry over spilled milk so long, and my milk hasn't even spilled yet. It's kind of halfway off the table. Anyhow, enough dittering about things that won't go faster.

I need to start writing again. By no means am I very good, but it's not unreadable at the very least. It'll help get my stories out of my head faster than drawing at least. Maybe I'll put some up here or write in here for an exercise or something.

And commissions. I'm still unsure about them. I used to do them quite a bit on a different account, but everything about it was different from how I draw now. I'm not sure where to rank my quality, my satisfaction, and my customer's feelings on the matter, and that makes it hard to make good estimates. Especially since I'm quite a bit closer to my potential customers on Vost/Tale than the last time. It's hard to ask for money from someone if you're better than acquaintances with them and you know may not be financially stable in the near future. On the other hand I understand getting a paycheck and watching it dwindle away to everyday miscellaneous costs that, in hindsight, had you known what would happen to it you would've spent right away. Happiness in life > everything, and money does buy happiness, at least to a point.

Ah, I think that's good for now of pouring my brain out on the internet for you guys. As I know some of you a helluva lot closer than others, this is cringeworthy enough. Almost to the point of deleting it. Actually, that's probably why I've slowed down a lot around here in general. Because where once there was a translucent mask, there is only a pane of glass, and while that does not affect who I am or who I project myself to be to all of you, it does take away from the effect a bit subconsciously. At this point where I am however, that technically matters little, but I'm still coming out of my hermit hole darn you and killing old habits is taking just as long as waiting for them to die hard. It's a slow work in progress.

If you want to know who someone truly is, give them a mask.

busybusybusy
I will get new art on here soon dangit!

I've started running to get in shape for the military. Turns out the 2mi route I chose is pretty much all uphill. Lucky me.
Also editing a video together for some contest crap. Here's hoping I get it done in time(deadline's Friday)

I figure I need to start keeping a journal regularly, and so we go~

Watching a lot of people, trying to set up a personal page. Feels weird. I guess in a way I'm gonna have to relearn everything from scratch.

So, hello!

You can call me Talexis, or Talle(I think that's how you pronounce it), Tales, whatever.
My main character is a Tigerfox, a mix between an Arctic Fox and a South China Tiger.
I'll make a ref sheet for him someday.

I like to concept sketch. I plan on turning that into concept painting. It'll be cool, I promise.

I'm learning how to draw and if you'd like to do an art trade with me I'm down for it.

I'm not sure what else to say. You can ask. Maybe.

It's a pleasure to meet you and I hope we get along!

You may not see much anything for a while but I'll get stuff going in here eventually. Stuff I'm proud of, stuff that's personal, etc.

In longterm storage

In longterm storage

In longterm storage