I'm kind of in a situation where everything that could go wrong did go wrong...

I've been experiencing BSoDs pretty much daily for about a week. I was getting kind of sick of it, so I figured the best course of action would be to back up my hard drive and reformat with a fresh installation of Windows. So I boot up a Linux CD, back up my hard drive to an external, then stick my WinXP CD in, format the internal drive, and install Windows.

The first sign of trouble was when the external hard drive I had backed up my data to showed up as unpartitioned space. I didn't really think much of it because I wasn't going to be installing anything to that drive.

The second sign of trouble was when I went to install my hardware drivers. I kept them stored on that same external drive. That drive wasn't showing up in Windows, but my other external was.

I booted back into Linux. The drive didn't show up.

I ran the WinXP setup CD again. The drive didn't show up.

So now I've got another dead 1TB drive, only this time I wasn't able to back it up, and it has things I need. I have a large number of paid downloads on there, and I don't know if I'll be able to get them back. I have a number of soundfonts that I downloaded a long time ago and the websites I got them from no longer exist. I have my WinXP hardware drivers on there...

The drivers don't seem like they'd be an issue, right? Yeah, well, this computer's 5 years old, and Dell's website doesn't seem like it supports it any more. I went to the driver download section and entered the laptop's service tag, and it was correctly identified as XPS Gen 2, but it said there were no downloads available. So I can't even install my wifi card's drivers to get online.

So how am I online right now? Linux. I didn't really want to do it since all of the software I use is made for Windows, but since all my software installation files were on that external, and I can't get Windows drivers for my wifi card, I don't have much of a choice.

So yeah, unless some miracle happens, everything's gone. All my instrument libraries, all my project files, all my presets, everything.

When the hell did my artist type get changed to photographer!? *edits*

Also, it has just been revealed to me that I am the colors of Reese's.

My defrag is complete! Music work begins tomorrow.

And now for something a bit more relevant to the title of the journal. Try Domino's Wisconsin 6-Cheese pizza. It is amazing.

Okay, so last night, I realized that I had downloaded some files to my F drive, when I wanted to put them on my E drive instead. F drive is the one that I've been defragging, so I paused the defrag and moved the files. Well, my stupid ass had failed to realize that it was that folder of files that it was working on defragging and the program hung. Since I had to stop it anyway, I figured I'd clear out some more garbage from the drive. I had some old backups of my main drive on there, and there's not really much need to keep the stuff installed in Program Files, aside from a few things, so I deleted a good chunk of that and started the defrag process again. Woke up and saw that it was at 22%! Before deleting the files, it had been in the 11-13% range over two days. Now it did 22% in just 3 hours! (...yeah, I stayed up way too late and didn't get much sleep.)

...but then my computer blue screened.

So I started the defrag process again. I didn't get to see the drivemap before it blue screened so I don't know what it looked like then, but it started out with about 8% of the files optimized, and now, about 3 hours later, it's back at 22%. Watching the drivemap, I could see some of the file organization from previous attempts has assisted in speeding up the first parts, but even when it has to move files, it works a lot faster than it did before. There is clear, visible progress being made here, and it's entirely possible that this could be finished before I wake up tomorrow. That would be FREAKIN' SWEET.

I seriously want to work on stuff right now, but I can't. I've got a major optimization script running on a disk defrag program, and not only is it tying up my external drive with all my samples, it's using a good chunk of CPU power.

HOWEVER, things should be pretty sweet once it's done. It's set to physically rearrange files on the drive based on what directory they're in, so all of my samples will be very close together, meaning a lot less drive head movement during DFD sample streaming. It also has a neat optimization feature that fragments the files. ...that sounds like it goes against the entire principle of a defragger, but there's a reason for it. Instead of keeping the file contiguous, if it encounters an unmovable file, it will split the file so that one fragment ends right before the unmovable file and the next fragment starts right after the unmovable file. That way, even though the file's fragmented, the drive head isn't moving at all.

The only problem is that it's taking for goddamn ever! It is a 1TB drive, though... *shrugs*

I don't get upset very often, so the fact that this managed to do it really says something.

Anyway, first you need to know a bit about this website. It's centered around gaming and encourages user-generated content. Other users are then allowed to rank user submissions on a modified 1 to 10 scale. I say modified because it's possible to vote 11, but you can only give one item a score of 11 per day.

Anyway, I saw that there was a Final Fantasy 6 remix being featured, so I had a listen to it. It was a boring, bland, techno remix. There was a link to related videos, many of which were from the user, so I had a listen to them. They were all pretty much the same thing - lazy remixes made by loading a MIDI file into the demo version of FL Studio and replacing the patches with FL Studio's default synths. Using the demo version means its impossible to save. That means these were all made in one sitting, which means very little effort went into making them. In fact, she didn't even LISTEN to one of them when she made it! "I made it into an mp3, but hadn't listened to it yet when my computer restarted on me for updates... as the Demo has a useless save button, all progress was lost."

There's no mastering or anything either, so they all start clipping at some point or another. In some of them, the distortion was so bad that it was practically unlistenable.

But here's the kicker. THEY GOT HIGH RATINGS.

And that's what got me so pissed off. I spend days on my work, tweaking synths and effects, adjusting mastering, not to mention entering notes by hand. This person loads up a MIDI file, replaces some patches, maybe changes a couple notes here and there, exports to MP3 - SOMETIMES WITHOUT EVEN LISTENING TO IT - and gets ranked just as highly for it.

It's just frustrating that my work is "equal" to what this person has done, despite more effort being put into it and more quality coming out of it.

AGH, SO MANY MESSAGES. *delete delete delete*

So yeah, the hotel DID have internet, but it was restricted to one device at a time, and that device belonged to the two who paid for the room. So now I've got a whole bunch of messages to go through. And delete.

After school today, I'm going to pack up and head out to stay with some friends for Rainfurrest. I'm not going to be back until Monday, probably some time in the afternoon.

I'm not going to take my laptop because it's heavy and a hassle, but I will have my PSP so I can use the hotel's free wi-fi to check messages. Don't expect elaborate replies, though, because typing on that thing is a pain in the ass, and not the good kind.

holy crap, I got too much stuff. I went there with a pretty full backpack, I came back with an even more full backpack, a cloth bag of DVDs and books, and a plastic bag with an N64.

About the N64... A bunch of my friends were working at the Fangamer booth, and across from them was a retro game store booth, with lots of old games. They had my favorite game ever, Pilotwings 64, for $25. I wouldn't have been able to play it, though, since I didn't have a N64, nor were they selling any. Skip to a couple days later when I find the Pink Gorilla booth. They have Pilotwings 64 for $10, which is even better, and they had N64 systems for sale. So, I managed to get Pilotwings 64 and a system to play it on for less than the cost of the game itself when it first came out. Pretty sweet deal, I think.

...of course, now that I've gone and bought that, Pilotwings 64 is going to come out on Virtual Console in the next couple of weeks. All this waiting for it to come out on VC, and now that I've bought the actual game, they're going to release it. That already happened to me with Secret of Mana.

I also picked up Scott Pilgrim books 2 and 3 (quite different from the movie, but they had to cut lots of stuff out to make it all fit, and seeing how poorly the movie's doing in theaters, it's probably best that they condensed it all into one movie instead of planning to make sequels) from Oni Press; Reformat the Planet (a documentary on chiptunes) from Fangamer; 8-Bit Glory, Too Hot for the Internet, AVGN Vol. 1, and Metal Gear Ben from ScrewAttack (the latter of which has my name on the DVD case!); the soundtrack and exclusive convention DVD from Mega64; the Expansion Pack album from Metroid Metal; and various assorted t-shirts and fliers and pamphlets and shit from wherever.


Day one was pretty much filled with attending panels. I started with the chiptune panel, 8-bit Soundwaves, which was pretty cool, but seemed to be geared toward those who were new to chiptunes rather than those that have made them before.

Next was the OverClocked Remix panel, which was pretty awesome. It started with a brief history of the site, then went into details about their recent Donkey Kong Country 2 compilation album, and announced numerous upcoming compilations, including part 1 of a 5-part Final Fantasy 5 album (coming out next week), Sonic the Hedgehog (the Genesis one, not the shitty PS3/360 one), DKC3, NiGHTS, and Mega Man X1-8. They also had some contests during the show. The first one was Name That Videogame Tune, in which one of the panelists would play the melody to a game song on a flute and the contestants would have to guess what it was. The songs were from Metal Gear Solid, Sonic 3, New Super Mario Bros.... and I can't remember the other two, but I recognized them at the time. The other game was a hacked Street Fighter 2 game, the Xiang Long bootleg. It was ridiculous. Characters would float, projectiles would home in on their opponents, projectiles would move super fast or super slow, characters would randomly change to other characters for no apparent reason... Awesome stuff.

Next was the Mega64 panel, which was hilarious as always. Their biggest announcement there was that they're going to be in Super Scribblenauts. Seriously, if you put the actors' names in, they'll pop up in the game, and each one has their own distinct likes and dislikes. You can also summon forth the Mega64 logo. They also showed their new Castlevania 2 skit, which is just as hilarious and awkward as most of their stuff.

Next was the GameTraliers panel, which was pretty fun. They had the brother+sister+dad team that made Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'?, Stuttering Craig, and a repeat visit from Rocco from Mega64, although I don't think he really counts since he was in character and frequently went off-topic. The panel ended with a bonus video from the Angry Video Game Nerd talking about his next video, which revisits the Back to the Future series.

I got to hang out with the ScrewAttack guys (Craig, Chad, Jose) after that, and we all went to dinner with some other guys who showed up. Unfortunately, dinner went so long that it cut into the concerts' timeslot. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, but they relocated where the concerts were being held, and the rules were different. They let people into the concert hall until it was full, and after that, nobody could go in. Even if people left, nobody could go in. That really sucked, because I was mainly interested in the last two bands that were playing, and since I didn't show up to watch the first two, I didn't get to see any of them.


Day two was mainly hanging out with friends. We went to check out the musicians' panel which was mainly just a Q&A session with all of the concert performers. Fun stuff. I also got to play Left 4 Dead 2 for the first time. Unfortunately, it was on Xbox 360, and I do not like playing FPS games with a dual-stick control scheme. It might be worth getting through Steam once I get a better computer, though.

That night, we all left early to catch the concerts. It sounded like they had changed the rules for that night, so if people had left the theater, other people could go in. Whatever, it was still fun. It started with MC Frontalot, who I had never really listened to before, but rather enjoyed despite being mostly unable to understand a thing he said. Next were Paul and Storm, who were hilarious as always. Lastly was Jonathan Coulton, who was playing as a part of a band ensemble rather than just him on acoustic guitar. It really worked well for him, and I really hope he continues to do more concerts that way. He also played a bunch of new songs, which I quite enjoyed. I don't think they're quite as good as his hits, but he's definitely done tracks that I like considerably less.


Day three was when I hit the expo floor. I got some good hands-on time with Sonic 4 and got to check out the level with the Vines of Frustration (there's a video on YouTube of someone playing that stage, and the player is stuck in an area with a ton of vines for at least 5 minutes, if not more). I don't know if it was an improved build or if that player was just unable to get the mechanics of the vines down, but they didn't give me any trouble at all. I also found the game to be quite fun to play and very reminiscent of the old-school Sonic games with a bit of new-school flair, like the mid-air homing attack.

Next, I checked out Sonic Colors. It plays a lot like the Sonic stages in Unleashed with these colored wisps that give Sonic special abilities. There seemed to be three main modes of play - side-scrolling, on-rails with lanes, and free-roaming on-rails. Side-scrolling was the most fun, where you ran around and worked your way through obstacles. On-rails with lanes was also pretty fun, where you were running away from the camera along a track, and had to make quick decisions which lane to run in to avoid obstacles or collect items. Free-roaming on-rails was not so great. The controls felt really loose, I could never seem to get the grinding to work, and when I did, it didn't seem to do what I wanted.

Lastly, I went to the Portal 2 demo. Lots of the trailers I've seen show single player, but they showed us some multiplayer co-op in the demo. You now have two characters, each with their own portal gun, allowing for four portals at a time in a chamber. Not only do you have more portals to work with, you also have new strategies, like getting one player to engage in an infinite fall between two portals, then once that player is at terminal velocity, relocate the ceiling portal to a new location to launch the player.

After that, things got kinda crappy, so I'm not going to go into much detail there.

And that was PAX. Overall, lots of fun, and I picked up some cool stuff along the way.

Not gonna take my laptop with me, since I don't expect I'll be wanting to use it much. Might have a little time to get on the internet, but I don't expect I'll be using it much. I'll be back some time on Monday.

...not that anyone tries to contact me very often, but in case you decide to this weekend, that's why I won't reply.

I have returned.

Not much to say about what happened over the past two weeks, really... There was some cool stuff, though. One of the guys assigned to my drill unit was a furry, and a pretty cool guy. There was a farmer's market in town on Thursday and a really cool percussionist was performing (I bought the 3 albums and the DVD that he was selling). One of the sergeants had the idea to go into town to watch Scott Pilgrim on Saturday night and I got to go with him. I loved it so much that I invited some of my friend to go see it again the next day. I plan on watching it again when I get the chance, which will be the first time I have ever watched a movie 3 times in theaters. Seriously, Scott Pilgrim is probably my favorite movie that I have ever seen.

Other than that it was just army crap, difficulty sleeping, and disappointing food.

Tomorrow morning, I fly out for a two-week training exercise. I don't know how much free time I'll have, if any, and I don't expect I'll be able to get online while I'm gone.

...not that many people contact me here anyway, but in the event that anyone tries to, I'm not likely to respond until I get back.

The past few days have been complete ass.

First, one of my hard drives (we'll call it A) reports that it's going bad, so I get a new one to replace it. My other hard drive (B) is pretty much full, so I figure I'll get a replacement for it as well, only larger.

I boot up Linux from a CD just because I want to be sure there's nothing using any files from my hard drives during the transfer, and I start copying the files from A to C. This takes over TWO DAYS. Seriously, Linux reports the data transfer speed, and at times it got as low as 15 kbps. I guess I started that backup just in time, because that thing went down the shitter.

A is also the hard drive where I keep my instrument samples, so there's a good chance that was causing, or at least influencing the performance drops I had been experiencing when working in FL Studio with samplers.

After that bullcrap, I open A's case and put D in its place, then start copying the files from B to D. No problems there. It even maintained a respectable data transfer rate.

However, my curiosity got the best of me when I hooked C and D up and booted back into Windows. I was expecting that during the transfer, it would have copied the files all nice and neat to their new destination drives and everything would be great. Well, D was fine, but B was already nicely defragmented before it was copied. I don't know the status of A before I started the backup, but C was fragmented as hell. I'd estimate it was at least 60% red in the analysis meter. This drive was also fairly full, so I had to move some files from it over to D to make sure it had enough free space to defragment. It's currently in the process of defragging, and I have no idea how long it's going to take, but it needs to be done because streaming fragmented samples from a disk isn't a very good idea.

So yeah, I haven't been able to be very productive lately and it's kind of annoying because I'm leaving for two weeks on Saturday and won't be able to take my computer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9Ew3TIeVQ

Seriously. This is from a real movie. I don't know how that's possible.

So this guy  nsfw is doing some free art raffle. Just comment with a character reference and if you get picked, you'll get a free reference sheet or colored image.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1492249/

Why do I have to manually update my age in Profile Info when I have my birth date entered in Account Settings?

http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR02009/

That's right, I've had a song finished for a while, but I didn't want to release it here until I knew how those guys would take it. Apparently they thought it was good enough to accept to the site, so now I'm happy to tell you all about it!

...except I don't really need to, everything you need to know is in the description on that page. I will tell you that it's mostly electronic, with some minor orchestral elements, and it's from Uru: Ages Beyond Myst. So if you like my music, make sure you check it out!

So the little counter in the top right corner said 1F and I thought to myself, what got faved this time?

Well, I don't freakin' know, because it says "The favorite has been removed by the user."

Honestly, what's the point of that message? It doesn't tell me who did it, it doesn't tell me which piece it was directed toward...

All I know is that some individual thought they liked one of my submissions enough to favorite it, but then decided it wasn't worth it. I don't know who so I can't ask why, I don't know which submission so I can't analyze it myself and try to make it better, just that someone went "Hey, I really like this! Wait, no I don't."

So I got a Facebook and a MySpace account at the same time.

On Facebook, I have 35 friends, and generally speaking, they're people I actually consider friends. Some are people I like but don't really talk to much.

On MySpace, I have two friends. One's an actual friend. The other one is AVGN. And while I think he's a cool guy, and I did do a song for one of his videos, I don't know that I'd consider him a friend, 'cuz we've never really talked to each other at all, aside from the initial correspondence regarding said music.

Not to mention MySpace is kind of annoying to navigate.

So yeah, based on my personal experience: Facebook > MySpace

1. What is your character's name?
Tansunn Kitsuki

2. What is your character's name in another language?
Can't embed an image so:
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/.....nn/tansunn.png

3. How old is he/she?
25

4. What is your character's race/species?
Red fox/raccoon crossbreed, aka foxcoon

5. Do they have a crush?
Kinda...

6. Do they have many friends?
*shrugs*

7. What planet is your character from?
I dunno. It's an unnatural mix.

8. Does your character like to eat?
Who doesn't? It kinda makes you live.

9. What's his/her favorite food?
Pizza, burgers, Italian, Mexican...

10. What's his/her favorite drink?
Alcoholic? Raspberry margaritas. Non-alcoholic? Pomegranate lemonade.

11. Is your character annoying?
I'd enjoy being around him. That's kind of a personal opinion kind of thing and could be different for other people.

13. Is your character loved?
Kinda.

14. Is your character hated?
Possibly.

15. Is he/she emo/goth?
Nuh-uh.

16. Is he/she straight, bisexual, or gay?
On the gay side of bi. Prefers male companionship.

17. Is he/she a virgin?
Nope.

18. Name 3 hobbies
Video games, arranging music, computer programming.

19. Is your character normal?
Normal is a relative term. Normal compared to a green and purple alien with 8 penises? Yes. Normal compared to a plain old fox or raccoon? Nope.

20. Is your character attractive?
Yes? Again, this is a personal opinion issue and can vary from person to person. I'd hook up with him, though.

21. How does your character handle emotions?
After some horrible experiences in the past, he tries not to let them show very much.

22. Does your character have other forms?
No.

23. Does your character overreact?
Probably.

24. Is your character a criminal?
Nope.

25. Does your character go to school?
Yup. ...at least in the sense that my character is kind of an extension of myself and I'm currently going to school.

26. What's his/her IQ?
Hell if I know.

27. Does your character have a disease/curse?
Not to my knowledge.

28. Is your character dead?
No.

29. Does your character have a family?
Nope. In fact, it's not even known if his parents were fox and raccoon or if they also were crossbreeds.

30. Has he/she encountered any tragic times in life?
Definitely.

31. What's the best time in your character's life?
Shit, I don't know.

32. If you could name 1 friend, which would you relate to your character?
I'm an odd one. I wouldn't say any of my friends truly relate to me.

33. Is your character single?
Yeah.

34. Has he/she developed any relationships?
Yup. None have lasted.

35. Does she/he have an element?
Not known, but I'd make a guess toward water.

36. Do you role-play your character?
Yup. Pretty much all the time online.

37. Do you write about your character?
Not really.

38. Does your character have a bad temper at times?
His anger circuits are broken. When most people would get angry, he usually gets disappointed or sad instead.

39. Does your character get depressed?
Occasionally.

40. What's your characters favorite animal?
Whatever kind wants to be his friend.

41. Does your character have any fears?
Fish. Large crowds. Probably other things that I can't think of at the moment.

42. Does your character have any weaknesses?
No, he's agod. ...OF COURSE HE HAS WEAKNESSES.

43. Does your character look up to anyone?
Nobody in particular.

44. Does your character like music?
YES.

45. What's your character's favorite type of music?
Too eclectic to pick any kind over any other. Generally doesn't like rap or country, though.

46. Is he/she impatient?
Not really.

47. What's something funny about your character?
Humor is a personal opinion kind of thing. I don't really think there's anything funny about him.

48. Name 5 nicknames
Tan, Tanny, Tanner, foxcoon, "hey you"

49. Does your character curse?
FUCK YES.

50. This test is over, what does your character have to say?
*shrugs* Check the link below.

Good news - the case is what went bad, the drive still works just fine.

Also, I got a whole new hard drive. Originally, I got it in case the old one wasn't working so I'd have enough space to install my stuff again, but since the old one still works, I'm using this one to back up all my important stuff so I don't have another goddamn panic attack like I did last night.



Bad news - All together, it came out to over $200 that I wasn't keen on spending. Totally worth it, but still, I'm working on saving up for a new computer so I can run all this new shit. I'm still taking 8-bit and grab-bag commissions. Note me if you're interested.

UPDATE - Zero-G is awesome. They reactivated my download timer so I could get Ecstatic Grooves back. It's definitely one of my favorite electronic drum collections to work with, so I'm definitely pleased about this.



So, you know how I haven't made much music lately? There's a couple reasons for that.

First, lack of motivation/inspiration. Nothing's really come out and hit me like "This must be done." Plus I've been busy with schoolwork, and that's been occupying my mind a lot more recently.

Second, lack of computing power. As I get more and more experienced, I want to do more and more things, and my computer can't keep up with it. QLSO is a big thing to consider here. When I originally got it, it used the Kontakt engine, and it worked pretty good. Then they upgraded to this new PLAY engine, and it makes some things a lot easier to do and just generally sounds better. However, unless I'm doing REALLY basic stuff, my computer can't handle it. All I've got here is a 2Ghz single-core with 2 GB RAM. The minimum requirements for single-core processors is 3Ghz. Damn.



Of course, those are just the issues I was having UNTIL now. Now there's a whole new issue.

My hard drive won't turn on.

Yup, last night, I felt compelled to turn the bugger off, and today it decided it didn't want to come back on. (I am, of course, referring to an external drive, not my internal.)

Why is this bad?

Primarily because my dozens of GB of instrument samples were stored on it.

QLSO, gone.
Ecstatic Grooves, gone. But not any more, see the update at the top of the page for more info.
Stormdrum, gone.
Nostalgia, gone.
My random collection of assorted soundfonts, gone.
All my SONiVOX MI virtual instruments, gone.

Not to mention all my old hard drive backups with my old projects.

So what does this leave me with?

Softsynths. I've got Sytrus, Toxic Biohazard, Poizone, Morphine, Zebra2, and all that free junk that FLStudio comes with.

Guitar. I can still amp up and do some recordings if necessary.

I've also got NS_Kit7, since I stored it on a separate drive, but that one's nearly full to capacity, as is my internal, so I can't reinstall the sample libraries. I MIGHT be able to get Ecstatic Grooves back, since it was only a hundred meg or so, but Zero-G would have to want to cooperate with me since they offer it via download through a timed-download system, and my 48 hours is long since past.

I've also got Notepad.

...what's so great about Notepad? MML. I can still program 8-bit NES music.

Other than that, I don't have much, nor do I have the hard drive space to install it. So until I get that drive replaced or fixed (I'm seriously hoping that it's the case that went bad and not the drive itself) my instrument choices are particularly limited.



...yes, I know I mentioned having another external hard drive. I can't swap the drives out because the other cases are IDE and the drive with all my stuff is SATA.

Wanna help me buy a new case? Check the link in the footer.



And before anybody asks, yes, I had a porn collection on that drive. No, I'm not particularly sad about losing it.

So over the weekend, I reformatted my computer. I've been meaning to for a while, and I managed to score Vista for free (yes, I actually got it, I didn't pirate it) so I figured it'd be as good a time as any to check it out and see what the big deal with it was.

So far, I've had no issues at all. I've had to get used to things being laid out differently, but that's it. I still haven't reinstalled all of my hardware and software yet, but what I have reinstalled has worked just fine.

And here's the real kicker - my old music uploads don't sound like crap any more. I can use the embedded player and they work just fine. The bad news is, I'm not sure what caused it... Is it the fact that I installed new Audigy drivers? Is it the fact that I got the most up-to-date version of the Flash player? Is it something in Vista itself? I just don't know... But it's AWESOME.

Anybody have any experience with Sager notebooks? I've been thinking about getting one to replace my Dell XPS Gen 2, and I'd like to hear what an actual user thinks of them.

(And I'm still open for request commissions. Details here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/653001/

My first two commission requests were a success, I believe. Both commissioners enjoyed the final results, and I not only had fun throwing them together, but also got to hear some music I may have otherwise never heard.

That being said, my queue is now empty. If you have a song you'd like to hear rearranged, a PayPal account, and $5-10 to spare, send me a note and I'll see what I can do.

Once again, these are songs YOU choose done in a style I choose, unless you specify that you want it done 8-bit. Details can be found in my previous journal - http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/653001/