I surpassed my  Idun account in watchers a week or so ago. That's pretty cool.

Thanks everyone for watching and enjoying my art, despite how hard I sometimes make that for my audience.

When I hit 2k watchers, I think I'll do some kind of event to celebrate. I've never been one to celebrate milestones much, but that should change.

If people enjoyed the story I wrote I'll consider writing more, or at the very least drawing a toony scene or two from this story. Or maybe release the alternative bad ending of it. I dunno, but I did enjoy writing again.

Anyway, thanks.

Pretty often now.

https://picarto.tv/JARDToons

Howdy folks, I'm going to delay the factory flattening YCH to launch on Monday, February 19th, 6pm Texan time. I want to get more work done on it before I launch it, and I need a brief rest.

I will still be launching the paw insole YCH tomorrow at 6 though.

What that means is: this year is going to be full of dragons and kobolds teasing, toying, and tormenting toons, and I'm going to be handing out opportunities. Big Blue, Zaak, Gibdo, and the Mushsage Parlour as a whole are going to be explored and played with this year.


Every month I'll be releasing a YCH project, near the middle of each month. This first project was a huge and new undertaking for me, and I'm just...gonna say it. I'm over the shattered moon about the response. Thank you all again.

Not every project will be as large as this. Not every project will have slots that are a fixed price, I'm going to auction some.

I will try to give a week's notice of the auction by releasing a sketch and announcing the exact time and date the auction starts. But ideally, I want every auction to be the middle of the month.

February's YCHs will be factory themed, and maybe fitness themed. March might be macro and/or muscle/gym themed. Muscle March, y'know. Depends on how February goes. But I'm also going to be working on JARDtoons stuff with Zandathru.

Anyway, I'm also streaming at least once a week every friday, and spontaneously on other days if I feel like it, but I only hold myself to the Friday evening schedule!

Please continue to feel ambivalent about my existence, and enjoy my art, but maybe be slightly less ambivalent about my existence, I dunno, you can always come to a stream to find out. I'll sometimes use voice, and if I set up a streamer avatar I'll use voice almost all of the time. I really enjoy answering questions about art and sharing what I know how to do, so if I'm doodling and you have questions, please ask.


ALSO: Neo Postys Birberandi and the Ever Embarrassing Idiot I Am.
Reneging on my word about dump posting monthly. I was weary frustrated with trying to handle my expanding endeavors with JARDToons and sustaining TantricToons for my personal kink art and juggling all of the social media business. I'm going to post things at a steady rate, once I organize my Postybirb stuff appropriately. Postybirb is a superb program, give it a shot if you want to share your art around.

So please forgive me for my silly dramatics about the posting schedule.




And that's it...Big Blue, Zaak, Gibdo. Monthly YCHs, weekly streams. Yeehaw 'n howdy.


The necromancy is dead and gone, the animation lost.

Howdy toons, it's been a while since I dropped some awkward, reflective thoughts. I've had a particular thought spinning for the last two months regarding Inspiration & Others. More precisely, I've been experiencing extreme bouts of lack of motivation to draw despite clear abundances of desire to draw and how those emotions interact with the way I socialize, or rather don't as of late. This sorry state exacerbates itself when I recall the youthful exuberance of being 10 years younger and drawing like mad everyday. Sadly, everyone experiences this...withering feeling towards their passions with age, I think, some sooner than others and all in varying weights. But there's something more beyond that general malaise of aging impacting one's ease of impulse to create, and it's that little bit beyond that I want to talk about.

It wasn't just that I was younger and therefore more lively that made me draw so much in a day, day to day almost every day for months on end. It was horniness. No wait, I'm kidding!(mostly)

I was talking with alot more people back then, and regularly talked with friends far more frequently. And I streamed, talking with people quite regularly there and met many people. And all those conversations created moments of joy, conflict, and connection are a huge part of what inspired me to create so many things. Especially things I never would've thought to create, but on occasion even more especially unexpected things that I would come to cherish deeply through my years. ...At a certain point through those years I sunk myself into the horrible comfort that I've had enough of casually allowing new people near me. Being "on the spectrum", it was easy to convince myself to get comfy with that idea.

But that idea was poisonous, it just felt alot more comfortable in comparison to dealing with the overwhelming force of charisma that is other living, thinking beings. The poison poised me with poor posture towards people, slowly sapping me even further of my mental fortitude while also rotting my emotional health. So I feel damned if I socialize, damned if I don't...

Clearly, I have a problem with moderating my engagement healthily. Because I do want to engage with people, I'm just terrified of others, and scared of myself for how I'll handle it all. I burn myself out terrifyingly often, and do extremely foolish things sometimes when I'm all ashes.

When I was younger I hoped handling this feeling would get easier, but time has taught me well. Now that I'm older, I think, "I should've gotten good at playing with others when I was young." It would've been that easy, I imagine against all reason. ...Perhaps it would've, in a different life.

But I'm living this life, and I'm here doing this, because it's just what I like to do, against all reason. And I like being able to share that with others and celebrate the absurdity that is what we enjoy together.

So I'm going to try streaming again, -that's right this was all an advertisement! Get BONKED, fools! But seriously, thank you so much for reading this far.

My goal is to stream every friday afternoon for a few hours at https://picarto.tv/JARDToons to draw whatever.

Also, this year I would like to do a monthly YCH picture. This month's is a group picture, and next month's will be a group picture too. Next month I'm thinking of the theme of a factory flattening.I think I've got alot of fun ideas to explore some settings in my mind with group YCH pictures.

(Also I'm still only dump posting every month or so unless it's a YCH)

To return to the topic, though...

People and friendships are just terrifying and difficult, as much as they are exciting, as well as chaotic for some, and at times. But people really do breed life in one another, and it's important to cherish the genuine spark of life being with others creates. Even if it's...harder to feel the warmth of...or even see at times.

I think it would be worth being around people more often. But not too often. Just keep your distance, you wild animals! I know what you're all into! I'm afraid!

Howdy. This Flat Fuck Friday at High Noon Yeehaw 'n Howdy time(Texas Time Zone) I'll be posting a YCH to sell picture slots at locked prices. Big Blue is becoming a regular part of the mushsage parlour, and two new kobold employees of the parlour at being introduced.

Please click here or below to see the WIP.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55186049/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55186049/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/55186049/

Thanks and enjoy. Don't bid just yet.

It's over!

The Neo Postys Birberandi has concluded. I've re-uploaded all of my old art that I feel personally comfortable sharing with the world again.

Tragically, I won't be making an update about the Godot Game project what with the kobold coins until the new year, as tragedy has stricken my soul this month.

So until I post coin YCHs with an update...



















Well, until then. Merry grinchmas

I started using Postybirb. S'pretty awesome, try it out maybe. Or warn me about it, whichever you want.

I've set Postybirb to upload most of my old animations, once a day at 6 PM Yeehaw 'n Howdy Time.

This will continue until the New Year, after which....Well, expect this page to be very inactive save for every month or few. Except for when I have YCHs and Godot updates.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes.

Thank you all for your comments on the art I've been re-uploading here, I do appreciate everyone taking the time to express themselves on my art, but I'm not going to spend the time to respond to nearly all of them, partly because I believe my words will just lessen the enjoyment of the art, and because I don't want to spend that time doing that. I seem to mostly only want to respond to comments if I can find something awkward or unpleasant to say, or if I already know the person.

My words and wishes are best left to pictures.

Please enjoy the steady stream of old art and memories.

I have officially spent half of my life primarily drawing cartoon kinks and personal sci-fi/fantasy stuff.

I'm now 32 years old. I first ceased struggling against my niche interests back when I was 16, and now I've lived an entire lifetime's worth steeped in those interests. I have alot of emotions, experiences, and thoughts I'd spent the last month conjuring up, flipping, twisting, unraveling, and inverting that I thought I might end up sharing here in my birthday journal.

But now that the time has come, I find myself with few words I'm willing to share. Because what I really want to share with my audience is truly ineffible. It's best left to pictures and innuendo, to your imagination.

I want to talk about love for art, and the self, and how one's own inner light shines reflectively off the faces of genuine friends, but how darker, base impulses can never catch light, nor reflect it.

I want to talk about how easy it is to lose sight of one's love, and trick oneself into believing that such love can be found with ease of effort.

I want to talk about what it's like to feel chaotic, be volatile, ruin things, and then try to fix what one ruined and change oneself. And how it almost never goes as one might've imagined, or hoped.

I want to talk about how our wishes truly never are granted exactly the way we wish them to be, but somehow are still granted.

But all of those things are moot and pointless when put into public words. Catch me in a private conversation or a personal art upload if you want to hear me lose my mind through communication.








All I want to say is: I'm old now. I didn't realize it until my heart had been broken and damaged, and I'd hurt others, several to a dozen ways across a decade. But the reason why I started drawing toony stuff online to begin with was because I had a very simple goal. And I never asked myself what it was or articulated that answer until now.

I wanted to put something of myself that felt unique and weird out into the world, and find people who could appreciate and maybe even understand that, and then maybe...I wouldn't feel like a friendlessly, lonely, weird little loser.

And you know what? Looking back on my life, and all of the chaos: I got exactly everything I wanted if we accept that as my motivation. My desire was granted beyond my wildest dreams. I have the most wonderful stoatly lover one could ever wish for, I've found friends in my life I've held for up to a decade in some cases and whom I'm growing up alongside, chasing our own paths, and I still have my own personal artistic dreams and things I want to learn and do. And a life to build with my lover.

And I don't have to do any of that stuff "here". >=P

But, I'm still a little posessed by my inner demons and dark impulses. So I'm not going anywhere, because I'll always draw a little kinky tooniness for fun, and I'll always wish to have a genuinely weird piece of my soul, however light-hearted or empty in nature, to be appreciated by somebody who might take some comfort, fun, or thrills out of it.



So for my birthday, please celebrate by enjoying the final archival collages I'll be uploading as Tantric Toons. If you believe ALOT of stuff is missing from any of my collages: Most of what I've shared in these collages have been pre-2020 flattening art. I did not include commissions unless they were for friends I was close with, or unless by accident. I did not include the TONS of hardcore kink porn I drew. (Because I'm still not sure which of it I want to share with the world again.)

I have been Strangelyfox, Idun J. Fox, and Tantric Toons: And this is my least favourite webpage in the citadel. Please feel awkward ambivalence about my existence, and continue to enjoy my work. It means alot to me, despite how much it sometimes tortures me that people look at my art.

Unless I complete full scenes/comics/illustrations, I won't be uploading here except for once every month or few months. My art will be uploaded as monthly collages of what I've done, with only a few distinct and noteworthy drawings/projects getting their own dedicated postings.

I'll also be working to create a few collages, some of what I'll ridiculously refer to as "Ultimate Squish Sheets", they'll be themed collages of old toony art all put together into a giant, unpleasant to read spattering of doodles and drawings from across several years, hundreds of streams, and thousands of gifts.

Despite my wishes to do commissions publicly, for the sake of my soul, I've constrained commissions only to trusted friends. I'll come back with YCHs. But commissions may never return here, despite my wishes.

I'm still working on learning Godot with a wonderful, amazing friend of mine, and working on my Godot projects. They'll appear here eventually.

The Necromancy is gone, having left my soul and body, no longer finding a compatible corpse or unliving spirit inside of me to inhabit.

I'm not going anywhere. I've been gone for years.

I've been speaking my mind here more often, trying to share more of my experiences and reflections on my time as a furry toon & kink artist, and in general reveal more about who and what I am or believe myself to be. And I've started making this effort to hopefully connect with my audience better and nurture within myself a better relationship with my audience.

Because I have frustratingly always had a great deal of contempt for my followers. I'm ashamed to say. And I couldn't even ever give anybody a good reason why I've found myself regularly feeling that way, but I've begun to believe that my personal perceptions of my relationship with my audience combined with my tendency to not communicate much of anything about myself have muddied my judgement. So I hope that by talking about this it will help expand my understanding. And even more hopefully, maybe it might help someone else sort their thoughts and feelings out? Big wishes.

A few days ago I mentioned being mentally ill, though I wasn't exactly clear what I mean by that; I have Depression and Anxiety. But I mean, who doesn't nowadays, am I right? I might be Manic Depressive, though in all of my times being diagnosed and working with professionals, Depression, Anxiety, and High Functioning Autism are what I've been judged to be. (Not counting HFA as a mental illness, to be clear!)

Naturally having these mental qualities has made navigating social experiences confusing, frustrating, and in the past often at times: volatile. Like so very many people in the digital era, I struggled mightily with communicating and understanding online relationships, let alone being somewhat of a public figure as an artist. Not having terribly many friendships with people in person wasn't a great combination with those complex concepts.

Often times I found myself feeling terribly lonely, deeply untrusting of the security in relationships with people online, and the security of my place as an artist. At times I often confused the two, and hurt myself and others in the chaotic stream of negative emotions and complex experiences I could scarcely comprehend most of the time.But I wasn't alone, at least not as much as I thought, and not all of my relationships were as insecure as I'd convinced myself to believe. Though, that self-deception lead to destroying stability in relationships, if not the relationships themselves, in the past expressed as rebranding myself with different names, or just deleting my entire galleries.

So, as I've aged and experienced more, but continued to do mostly the same things, I've discovered that I'd created a nasty coping mechanism: Contemptful Condescension. I started to devalue the very people who interacted with me and my art if they didn't fit exactly what I'd wanted. And as a self-isolating, anxious and depressed idiot, "exactly what I'd wanted" was almost always going to be unreasonable in some manner, and more importantly it would be enforced in an unreasonable manner. And that enforcement created a positive feedback loop of negative, contemptful and condescending thoughts and feelings towards the very people who celebrated the art I created.

I would describe the experience as...surrounding myself with extremely thick, warped glass all around me, and being upset and mad at ANYBODY outside of my glass walls who didn't "Look right to me." Naturally, as the loner loser I'd lived most of my life as, I was an incredibly apt and discerning judge of character. Nah, I lie, I sucked at it completely, and I lied to myself all of the time about my judgements of others because I was that self-interested in defending myself and my feelings.

The coping mechanism had fully circled around into something akin to a hugbox mentality, where I was so self-absorbed with believing the lies I would tell myself to "protect myself" that I'd developed an obsession with my image and how I wanted people to treat and see me. Instead of focusing on what I want to do to create and entertain, I was investing my energy into feeding an illness I'd created for myself. Then, at some point I noticed I'd lost a tremendous sense of my appreciation for my audience, and observed that I was beginning to believe that just about everyone sucked and wasn't good for me.

And that's....that's just not right, it isn't how I should look at people who have given my life so much goodness; all because I shared my silly little pictures and wanted to draw things for folks every now and then. Treating and viewing my audience that way has made me terribly incompetent at taking myself seriously as an online artist, and it's long overdue that I shatter that mental glass cage I put myself in and started truly acknowledging that I've been surrounded by goodness all along, even in all of the weird forms goodness comes in. So thank you, everyone.

Thank you for reading this.

If you've had a a personal experience with becoming contemptful towards your audience, I'd like it if you shared it here. Because I believe everybody is vulnerable to this type of mental trap, some more than others. And I really do hope that by talking about this that I, and hopefully others, will have an easier time overcoming it.

Mental Illness and attention. What an awful combination to receive.

Some days, I really just want to disappear from my life, and take away everything good I've ever done. Like a deep, powerful impulse to hurt everyone while destroying myself by taking away any and all goodness I might've possibly sent out into the world.

It's hard to continue sometimes, continually feeling that way, knowing it's spurred on by a diseased spiral caught in my mind, being spun on faster and faster like a steamroller crushing the goodness out of everything until all that's left is flat, ghostly decals of joy, substanceless and wafer thin.

I hope one day I'll stop feeling this way, twisted up by my insanity and my pain, but until then, I'll just keep doing my stupid little dance and jig, trying to create joy when I feel so little of it.

Russel couldn't help but notice me collecting all these shiny coins and has gone and started collecting his own group of toons, all balled up!

Come check it out!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53564327/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53564327/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53564327/

Weird! And as someone who should've been in a drama class in high school, I've been a roleplayer most of my life. Effed around in SS13, roleplayed on Gaiaonline forums, joined roleplaying guilds in MMOs, played D&D and then became a forever DM until I lost my mind. And naturally, I roleplayed a helluva bunch of kinky toon stuff with fans and friends up until shortly after meeting my beloved Stoatly Knight, App.

So, as a roleplayer who almost never roleplays anymore, I've always chuckled in amusement to myself at artists who put things like "No, I don't friggin' ROLEPLAY, DAMMIT, stop trying to kinkitize me" on their profile(An exaggeration). But I get it, because I've gotten those creepy invitations. It feels like running around the wrong corner in the city and getting propositioned, y'know? But, I've always valued roleplay, even when I used it as a terribly clumsy, awful, dirty tool for navigating both shallow and deep relationships. The most cherished friends of mine are folks I've roleplayed with, either in SS13, MMOs, D&D, or in toony scenarios, and some of my silly kink art across the years were certainly inspired or directly drawn from roleplay logs I'll freely admit.

So, I'm just curious what people think. I've BEEN that guy in the past who would care about roleplaying silly toon stuff a little more than other more important things. I've had my fun and sadness with it, and overall have come out of the dozen+ years of roleplaying feeling enriched for it. Though, when it comes to kinky stuff, roleplay was the primary engine that escalated ALL of my kinks and my interests in them. It pushed everything higher and harder towards the extreme ends of kink and sexual expression, and I squarely lay the blame for my own sense of perceived "numbing/numbness" I've developed towards the more light-hearted side of kinks at the doorstep of kinky roleplays. That escalation made it significantly harder for me to enjoy the light-hearted side of kinks, they just didn't hit as hard. And what drove that escalation was a crazed amalgam of my desparate obsession to chase greater pleasures(unknowingly at the cost of reducing the impact of all lesser pleasures) and my roleplay partner(s) mutual willingness/desparation to explore those extreme ends of kink scenarios. There are things I do regret with my time roleplaying, but as I said, I'm ultimately enriched from it, and acknowledge that the greatest of my friends were folks I connected to with it. (And the worst of all my relationships operated primarily on a roleplay and kink art level).

So I see its places, its uses, its joys and delights and awful, sometimes invisible risks. And I don't like being invited to roleplay with a stranger unless they're DMing a god damn D&D game for me and my pals. Because I don't like hookers and hoes tryin' to ride my D when I've got a Stoatly Knight. So, these are my feelings about roleplay. A cherished art and practice, but like all things, can be corrupted into a caustic thing by obsession and desparation.



How do you feel about roleplaying and its place and uses in art/kink fandoms? Where has roleplay been good or awful in your life?

I personally still use it for gaming sometimes, and in conversational banter, since I do talk with alot of toon folks, and it's nice to be playful with japes and jabs.

I'm still working on the presentation of the coins in Godot, but in the meantime, I'll be taking a second round of coin commissions if folks are interested. I'm opening tomorrow for 10 more slots(You can note me now, I just won't read or respond to notes about commissions until tomorrow. Please read the description in the following link for the commission guidelines.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53251100/

Thanks for your attention and interest.

I'm incredibly lucky, thank you all so much. :D

1 - Catcatcatcatcat
2 - Gruntdude
3 - Verosika
4 - Grichy
5 - Cainiam
6 - Soppip
7 - Sabledrachen
8 - Perdrewsrewrwrsedrwfdwrewds
9 - Wilconsonsolidated.
10 - Flama

I'm getting old. I'm starting to do that thing called thinking, and reflecting. And recently, after unlocking the ability to attune to my emotions in realtime and respond to them AS they happen, rather than months later when I'm randomly depressed, I've been thinking especially about what in the hell I am doing online, drawing toons and etc. Because I never really considered it deeply before.

Initially, it was obvious: I wanted to see some cartoon furries getting absolutely plastered, and not in the intoxicating way. And folks weren't drawing enough of it back then. I just wanted to see the stuff, I thought, but it wasn't the full case. Upon reflection, it's absurdly obvious that I simply wanted to share my art to get noticed and make friends. But I never really looked at it that way back then, I just wanted attention, and big numbers I thought. It wasn't until I'd broken hearts and relationships and had my own treated similarly, thanks to the complexity of life and ineptitudes of human being, that I started considering why I did what I did online. What was it even for, and was it worth all of the unnecessary pain, drama, and sadness? Especially, as a depressive person, with how easily I can convince myself that I'm an undesirable at heart.

It's been over a decade since I started, and I'm half a dozen aliases away from where I started: Strangely Fox > Idun J. Fox > Nairth > TantricToons > Dingo Z Foxy > Jaydii Drakobold. I've made a heck of a mess of myself, others, and things working for this...whatever it is, really. I'm still not sure. I would barely give myself a passing grade for my behaviour over the years, at least if I was feeling charitable and merciful enough towards myself. I haven't really articulated to myself, across the decade, what this was all working towards, really.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here, to be honest. I just know...that I really need to share my thoughts and feelings about my time in the furry fandom drawing toony kink art, and what I want to do and where I want to go.

So what is it all for? (All questions from the perspective of Jaydii yelling judgementally interrogating himself)
Originally, for friends, for love, for celebration and revelry. The same reason we do anything worth doing in life, to become noticed, understood, and connected. And while I've made a mess of things between me and others across the years, like we all do in our lives, I've been fortunate enough to have found myself with my beloved stoat, and with a cherished circle of trusted friends, even after all of my time spent redefining my own boundaries as a kink artist/pornographer/friend. I'll remember to always be grateful for the miracle that is.

So it can't be for friends if you already have that, right?
Or at least, it simply isn't only for that, because some silly part of me still wants to meet new people and make friends, but I sincerely feel as though the most important things I could've ever wanted from my time sharing art online, aside from a stupendously successful crazy career, have been fulfilled beyond my wildest imaginations. I just didn't think to notice it until this year. And, I'm only me, and can't get greedy and continually want more friends and new people...I only have so much time and mind, so even though what I'm doing is also to continually grow connections, it clearly cannot be for that alone, because for me, I think I'm fulfilled on that end, with only the regular amount of emptiness in a fulfilled human.

Well good for you, so what?
So....what I think this is all for now...is for something I wish I thought to think of when I first started drawing toony kink art online. But what I want what I do to be for, is to be a better artist and person than I was, to set a better example I could be proud of. Because I feel some shame and guilt about the ways I shared art, talked with others about it, set up trades, and etc, living in a style that ultimately wasn't the right fit for my soul. Building friendships out of frail, transient things and turning every opportunity to a pursuit of pleasure. It destroyed me, and hurt countless folks along the way, trying to live a life that wasn't fit for me.

Boohoo? Got a point?
Right, to the point of this entire journal, I suppose is...The same point as why I'm continuing sharing my toon art online despite a shame-laden personal past. I want to give people joy and comfort and entertainment, but especially, to the weird ones, like me. Even a niche community can fractionate into groups with awkward schisms between them, and I've contributed to that dynamic online, and while I'm powerless to undo my mistakes or change human nature unraveling into these patterns, it's my hope that I can set an example for folks to celebrate their silly weirdness, even if they're a hopelessly negative person at heart like myself.

I just want folks to be able to enjoy the strange things that give them joy, in peace and comfort, amongst a sea of artists(whether they get along or not.) Because tremendous amounts of goodness came into my life, because folks were willing to share some simple...silly pictures. And I want to keep adding to that spiral of goodness, in ways that will make me proud years down the line, in hopes that inspires more weird goodness in others.


Anyway, I think I've rambled my heart out. Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts about what the hell is going on in the furry fandom and why you/we share kink art.

TL;DR: I wanted friends and love, but now I've got that, and now I want to continue sharing my art to communities because I believe goodness comes into everyone's life from sharing art and celebrating weirdness and that I can set a better example today than my past self did. Also, I feel like I've gotten almost everything I could've wanted out of this....So I feel free, and ready to make some awesome art and blow some minds.

Also, respect your boundaries and ask others to, and if somebody doesn't want to set or acknowledge any boundaries, fuck around and find out, break your heart, enjoy the pain, or stay away.


EDIT: I want to acknowledge some inconsistency I simply noticed in the spirit of what I said, with celebrating weirdness. Well, how pretty of me to say that, right? What the hell about that dozen years worth of art you used to CELEBRATE publicly and actually have posted and shared around, like an actual celebration? Talked alot of hot-shit about spreading goodness, but what about the fact that you're traitor to that spirit as you speak?

So, uhh...I've always had a history of self-destruction, particularly with my art/relationships. Including my aliases, what the hell, right? How do I square away all of that with this new attitude? The truth of why I removed all of that art instead of sharing it again: The guilt and shame I feel regarding how I conducted sharing my art in the past is so great that I feel confused about the ethics of sharing it. So I simply don't share it. I broke alot of my own personal values to draw commissions for people at that time, betrayed myself repeatedly on behalf of the pleasure of strangers. And often times, especially, not even for money, just because that was the kind of relationship I had with some folks. And alot of that art, is also tied to relationships, which I no longer have with those folks.

So...there's a complicated personal history of total confusion and self-betrayal and ruined relationships interlaced with the history of my toon art: a risk we all take when using art as an extension of our relationships, and a risk that's greatly enhanced when you have perk points invested into mental illness, and then multipled even more greatly when you throw in the element of sexuality. *shrug* Am I painting a gross enough picture? It's messy is all I'm saying, and I simply haven't tried to revisit the thought of sharing it all because of that. When I shared my Squishography and Pictography years ago, I had very specific goals in mind for the act of sharing those things. They were affirmations towards change in my spirit/attitude, towards what I thought was better for me at the time. But I sincerely just hadn't fully comprehended the complicated nature of my pictography at those times, and those complex, subtle things came back to torment me and impelled me to remove my pictography.

I think, one day, I'll revisit the Pictography, and create two different libraries: The art I'm willing to share, and the art I made that I've gone and made a messy relationship with that I don't want to share anymore. God, what an oppressive thought, micromanaging myself like that. But, it would be worth it, to celebrate the old art of mine that I am still proud of, instead of simply casting ALL of it, as Lucky would say, "In the Sin Bin".

Also, I just want to draw less smut. I still draw it, but it's kind of only for me and my friends. Being a kinkomancer is cool, being a pornographer...not fit for my soul! I want to be known for making toony games and comics, and light-hearted kinks. With the occasional spiciness.

Howdy folks, this journal is specifically meant for my commissioners, the completed animated coins will be delivered tomorrow rather than today as promised because I'm adding more frames. It takes time to masterfully compress a creature into a compact disk that can be flipped perpetually. Balancing all that dense weight in such a simple shape so it flips and spins perfectly is just so hard, especially when folks flinch, or worse, RESIST the hydraulic press. And sometimes they don't make the right face the first time and I gotta redo it-It's.. It's a whole process, you understand.

But tomorrow I'll have more than a dozen perfectly pressed pancakes to pass out to you all, the people.

I think about the nature of fetishes and how they interact with a community of people, no matter how loosely connected, and the ways people handle these interactions and fetishes. It grips my soul, having spent more than a decade online drawing fetish art. So here's this string of thoughts I just shared to Twitter.

I want folks to be able to find others and mutually enjoy the weirdness of their kinks and interests within a healthy environment. But I fear I've developed the equivalent mentality of a sex shamer, but for kinks. That makes me unhappy and this year I'll be working to rectify it.

How to encourage a healthier kink culture, while also encouraging better controls and boundaries around fetishes that aren't oppressive to people's ability to connect and express themselves? The only answer I've found is trying to set an example and talk about things like this.


While kinks and fetish have a deep, intimacy intrinsic to their nature because it is so proximal/adjacent to the instinctual impulse of sex, I still believe, that just like sex, there are forms of expression that do fall within the realms of SFW/appropriate for all ages despite containing themes for fetishes and kinks. Similar to how a toon in a speedo on the beach is SFW, despite the element of a sexuality becoming part of the picture, no matter how small, simply due to attire and setting.

I hope that as time marches forward, people give more thought to the nuance of fetishistic themes in their work, and how they rate them. Not every fetish picture is immediately NSFW, but it is admittedly extraordinarily difficult to keep track of that nuance.

If you have thoughts and feelings about this kind of thing I'd like to hear them.

Howdy!

After several months of work, and years of discussion App and I have decided to launch a Patreon page together!

https://patreon.com/JARDToons

We're going to be focusing on Zandathru Animations & Comics, as well as the occasional thing with our other OCs.

We've also launched a Newgrounds & Youtube page where the Zandathru Chicken Dinner animation is hosted at 1080p.


Please enjoy and support us if you love our artwork!

Slots have gone to Dexter Lion & Jay Iron Dog. Thank you everybody for your attention and interest.

Howdy, I'm going to start taking some simple sketch commissions now. Life for me has developed and changed enough for me to feel comfortable taking commissions again, and I'm happily going to start small as I'm still working on YCH projects.


Here's the deal:

Tier: Uncoloured Sketch

Price & Scale :

$40 for a Single Character
$80 for Two characters
If you want one character with one other flattened/squashed character, price will vary within that range depending on the flattening complexity.


Rules:

No hardcore porn. No genitals. I'm willing to draw characters in intimate/saucy situations, but I'm not going to draw explicit porn. The most extreme I'll draw for a commission is underwear flattening. If you're unsure, please ask.
No child characters.
No Fanart. Sorry, I don't yet know how I feel about commissioned fanart of IP characters, like STarfox and ETC. Pokesonas/Digimon-sonas and the like are acceptable, but I won't do fanart of a character.
I must have expressed permission to draw the characters. If you want to commission me to draw someone else's character, you will need them to give me permission.
Right now I only accept payment through Paypal.

If you're interested, please send me a note. I have the right to refuse a commission for any reason, but I hope to not have to exercise it.

What a ridiculous title, what a life I live. Anyway, go get stomped by a dragon, please.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51133437/

Actually the opportunity has passed, slots sold to Wehf and Xelonore.

Within the next week I'm looking at posting an absurdly kinky YCH comic for toons getting stomped flat by a big fat dragon in a sauna.

I'm curious how interested folks would be in something like that. It's been a while since I've publicly offered up my art in exchange for cash.

In the last three years I've been struggling mightily against myself and the momentum I've built for myself as an artist, and outwardly that struggle has often been expressed in mass deletions, sudden returns, more mass deletions, and alot of weird behaviour that on its surface from an outsider perspective paints the picture of what I imagine is: A very silly, confused, and probably unstable and risky person. And that's not even going into the bad reputation around myself that I've built, earned, and consequently continue to adapt to and learn from in ways that to others may be confusing or outright damning, but are hopefully understandable.

But at the core of those personal struggles is a problem I've been coming to grips with, which is the impact I have socially, with what art I share publicly and how I share it, and who I interact with and how. This has expressed itself in many friendships being (poorly) ended, and me constantly revisitting my gallery to re-rate stuff from general to "mature", or just outright delete it. I'm deeply guilty and ashamed of the way I carried myself socially and artistically on this website since I first joined in 2009, and only in the last three years have I managed to start making progress to change for what I believe is the better.

I've withdrawn substantially from "the community", so to speak, and taken on more of a role of "Observer" and art dispensary, and with this change in attitude I've begun to notice just how creepy this place really is. I don't consider myself a good person, given my history and track record, and I'm guilty of quite alot of immaturity, ineptitude, carelessness, and outright malice in my past, and that may be true to this day. But what I've been seeing happening in "this community" disgusts me. So even though I'm not the best person to say anything about it, and don't particularly want to put myself out there to say it, I need to point something out.

In the last two years I've seen more and more folks inappropriately and publicly interacting with minors on this website, minors who publicly post their age. And it's getting out of hand lately in particular. If you're blocked by me on Twitter or FA, it's almost certainly because you're a minor I know about, or you're an artist or "community member" who I've observed publicly encouraging minors to explore kinks. EDIT: Or you post NSFW content under a general rating, which is absurdly negligent.

And I'm not talking about some "down the grapevine" gossip stuff that inspires me to block folks, I mean easily observable interactions for the public to see. But there is alot of gross stuff happening with minors in the "Toony community" among folks. And I'm disgusted seeing what I do see in public and especially from down the grapevine.

So, to the point I want to make to anybody who reads this and hopefully listens: Please, for the love of god, for the sake of your soul, and the souls of children, check a person's age on their profile or ask them their age, be observant and mindful of WHO you're actually talking and interacting with. And from the deepest pit of hell that my voice cries out from: Stop grooming children into a kink culture.

Minors shouldn't be interacted with at all in any fetish or kink context or scenario, no roleplay, not fetishy art trades, no kinky gifts. Anybody you know and talk to who are encouraging minors to draw kink stuff, drawing kinky gift art for them, roleplaying with them, stuff like that...it would be wise to give them a stern talking to. EDIT: Previously I stated that minors should only be told to go away and be rejected from our community. We clearly cannot prevent the flow of minors into our space because of how free and open the website and social media overall tends to be, and to put up a giant social wall of rejection to them will only leave them open and vulnerable to the worst actors possible. I can't offer up any particularly helpful words for this dilemma, the interactions one takes with minors needs to be given the utmost care though when they make themselves present within our 'community' because situations involving them are delicate and nuanced.

Because the culture that surrounds this community of toons and kinks...it invites creeps, and it invites the lonely and the desparate. It's a catalyst for corruption when not handled with care and maturity, and there are manipulative, narcissistic assholes out here who are just looking for the next thrill, regardless of who they are or what their age is.

The folks guilty of such behaviour I personally consider to have participated in grooming rituals, regardless of their intentions or whatever twisted and warped reasoning they can produce. These are children, and this little pocket of the art world, this "Toony community" is at its core, kink-centric, and that involves all of the intimate feelings associated with kinks, whether they're sexual or not.

So please take it from me, an idiot who started drawing kink art online as a 16 year old and ended up being influenced by manchildren up to twice my age...Take extraordinary care with who you interact with and how, and don't tolerate anybody participating in the grooming of minors or any behaviour that is suspicious and inappropriate around minors.

There are creeps in this community. Don't be one of them.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45221986/

Thank you, Dash.

I am deleting my pictography from any places I've uploaded it to on December 1st. Merry Christmas!

Get it now before it's gone, for free! My soul can no longer bear to voluntarily present to the public a sizable chunk of what is contained within the pictography. So I will delete it before the year is up.

You're welcome.

It's gone now. Thank you.