TL;DR: Kindly just read the sections which I have bolded for your convenience. ;)

Okay. It's past time to say something. I'm genuinely sorry that I didn't say anything sooner, but I wasn't sure myself what was going on, so I didn't know what to say.

I have NOT disappeared forever.
I am just taking a break.

It was not a planned break; otherwise I would've said something at the beginning.
I do not know how long this break will last, but I WILL resume posting at some point.
...And yes, for those who have been asking, I'm still going to finish the comic. I just don't know when.

Just pretend I've been cryogenically frozen. :P

My life goals and priorities have decided to overhaul themselves without warning me. This happens to me sometimes. It's just the natural rhythm of my growth.

For a time, I considered art to be a job. I was exploring and testing the possibility of incorporating it into my overall career. This exploration led me to discover that, while I love doing it and want to keep doing it for as long as I'm able, it's just not My Thing in that sense.

I'll probably still open for commissions every once in a while (not too often), and I am still interested in doing comics and at least one graphic novel, which, yes, I may try to publish and make some money with. Someday. But art is clearly not the right choice for my full-time activity.

I am busy chasing down the best choice. I'm pretty sure I already know what it is, but I have to put in the work.

This period of my life is for the bullheaded pursuit of various life possibilities. I'm still looking for a regular day job, but on top of that I am also busy doing other activities that demand my attention. I have to do them now, because I probably won't be able to later.

I had to sacrifice something in order to free up the time and energy for these things; I sacrificed art.

I also sacrificed spending time on FA, so please do not be offended or surprised if I do not respond to you.

It's not for good.
I'll be back.

Yeah, just getting rid of that vacation notice since I'm back.

My partner's visiting this week, though, so I'm still not exactly focused on, ahem, art.

Hopping a bus tomorrow morning to head up north to the beeeaaach! No rattlesnakes, no whiny dog to wake me up at dawn, no need to censor myself, and no internet (*coughAHEMcough*).
Just a beach house, a bunch of 20-somethings, an undetermined quantity of tropical-flavored alcohol, and a chance to relive the better parts of my college days. :)
I've been really, really needing something like this.

See you in August!

I banished a bunch of images to my scraps folder. Nothing's been deleted; I sure as hell don't produce enough images to necessitate that.

Just FYI.

Still chugging along on the comic. As enamored as I was with the marker paper when I first tried it, it's giving me some troubles. It probably doesn't help that I've gotten rusty with the medium. :[

Well hi, new watchers! I don't know if somebody pimped me or what, but... howdy and hello!

Maybe this means I should carve out some time for more art. :)

I've been an admirer of Dana Simpson's work since... well, long before she was working under the name Dana. She's the creator of Raine Dog, a work I feel is IMPORTANT (and I don't say that about many artistic endeavors), and of Ozy and Millie, which was possibly my favorite daily comic strip ever — yes, even more so than Calvin & Hobbes, and of which you may have seen some Rule 34.

Here's a brief entry from her blog that really just made my whole night a little less dark. Maybe you'll like it too.

I said I would resume posting pages a while ago. Clearly this has not happened. Currently I am in a different city, job hunting. It is overwhelming and terrifying and I miss my dog and my partner.

Markering for page 5 began before I left. I return to my parents' house next Tuesday, and can work on it again. I have NOT abandoned the project, and am determined to see it through.

I apologize for keeping everyone waiting. I sure don't set out to get on the bad side of the furry fandom's patience. You WILL get your comic in full, scout's honor.

They are made of cute.

http://jezebel.com/5807016/corgi-hy.....nition-of-cute

It *almost* makes me wish my corgi still had his hackey-sacks so I could cross him with something fluffy and raise an Unholy Army of Squee. ...Almost.

Seems like every artist on here posts a journal like this at one point or another. Heh.

The time has definitely come for me to start saving up for a new tablet. I've been using a tiny Wacom Graphire 4 since... well, it's the only tablet I've ever owned. Pieces are literally falling off of it. But the real kicker is that it's been a few years since the pressure sensitivity worked, and all of the new techniques I want to branch out into require pressure sensitivity.

It's going to be a while before I can afford anything, even something lower-end. So price is very, very much an issue. I don't need something cutting-edge (my Graphire was outdated and on final markdown when I bought it), just something that behaves the way it's supposed to and won't require replacement parts or servicing all the time.

Basically, I'm looking for the Toyota Corolla of tablets.

Any thoughts/experiences, my darling watchers? (I'd also welcome warnings of what models/brands to stay away from, as well.)

Now that I'm more or less settled in a new (albeit temporary) location, and now that I've posted some actual art content again, I feel justified in posting to say "I'm back". It's very quiet here, and brightly lit - a perfect working environment, really. Updates should be returning to their normal frequency soon.


Current Status

• Commissions: Still closed. Backlog cleared out now. No estimation yet of when I'll reopen.
• Trades/Requests: Closed for the next several months, possibly longer.
• Comic: Will resume updating in early June.
• Personal backlog:
- Full-color pieces, 2 adult, 1 general.
- 1 gift piece, full color.
- Potentials (pieces I may or may not bother completing): 1 adult, 2 general.
- Script for new comic, a couple scenes roughly drafted; mostly still in planning stages.

I'm trying to figure out a way to fit all the material evidence of my existence into a series of cardboard boxes. In about a week, these boxes will then become Tetris blocks that I must fit into a rented truck. It's a puzzle game with higher stakes than I'm used to.

If times weren't what they are, I'd feel embarrassed for having to temporarily move in with my parents. But it's so common these days, it's practically the leading edge of fashion. Despite my best efforts and my ownership of a college degree, I've been receiving rejections and collecting my meager unemployment pittance for a year and a half, digging through couch cushions to find spare change to pay the rent on my apartment, which smells and sounds like a large Motel 6. This process is eerily similar to repeatedly smashing my own head into a brick wall until blood comes out of my ears.

I'd like to take this opportunity to extend, again, my humblest and sincerest of thanks to all of you who have commissioned me. You have helped me to attain not only the financial means to keep the electricity on and my dog well fed, but a precious measure of dignity. When I am settled in a new life some months from now, I'd like to do something to show my appreciation.

For now, I spread transparent plastic tape over the seams of cardboard boxes, and I brainstorm, and I daydream, and I hope.

Those of you looking forward to more pages of "Somnium Lupus" will have to wait until early June when the worst of the dust settles. My partner and I celebrated five years together in March, and now we will have to face the quietly yawning gap of long distance. We already divided up the DVDs, and although there was some contention over who would get to take our "Avatar: The Last Airbender" box sets, that was the easy part. Retraining my body to sleep in the middle of the bed... that won't be so easy.

At least I'll get to bring the dog with me.

We finally got back home this afternoon. My partner's family. Is. Crazy.

They're the sort of family that seems to live in mortal terror of conversational lulls, so they talk. They talk to each other, over each other, under their breath, across the table, through the window, to people who already left the room, to themselves... it's like being smack-dab in the middle of a WWII trench battle, except the shell bursts sound like chortling middle-aged women, and the bullets are very heavy, high-fat meals being placed in front of you even if you just ate 9 minutes ago.

They're very nice people. Very generous. Their generosity is IN. YOUR. FACE.

And in between all the family-ness, I was holding my partner while he cried, making sure my dog didn't bite any of the younger relatives (he isn't a fan of small children), trying to figure out this whole Osama bin Laden embarrassment, and oh yeah, doing some actual work.

The commission is already late, but I'll be damned if anything's going to keep me from finishing it by this weekend.

And then, a wedding! And packing up my apartment! And working on the comic! And having heart palpitations! And saying goodbye to my lover of 5 years for god knows how long! Fun times, fun times.

My life is about to get much more complicated.

My partner's grandmother just died. This, in itself, sucks enough. But that's not the end of it.

He is also sick, again. He's been at war with this sinus/cough thing for, like, four months now. It comes back just as his grandma dies. Of course.

He wants me to come to the funeral with him. The wake is being held on Wednesday. In upstate New York.
We are in Minnesota.
I don't have a passport anymore, so we can't cut through Canada. That would've shaved many hours off of the trip.

I will be spending my birthday driving to a funeral.

And spending the weekend at his family's house, fighting for spare moments to finish the commission I've been working on all month. There's still at least 20 hours' work left (more if it gives me trouble, which it's been doing lately), and it's due at the end of the month. I don't know how things work on that side of his family, how much time I'll be expected to spend with them, how much time my partner will need me to be there with him, and how much I'll have free to do some work.

I'm not even there yet, and already I feel torn between responsibilities.

Oh, but that's not all. There's more.

The rubber grip on my tablet stylus has been eroding for about a year, and last night it finally fell off. The stylus feels completely different in my hand without it there. I wouldn't mind this — I'm adaptable — but in the final stretch of a large, paid project with a deadline? OH HELL NO.

And! And! And! One of the buttons fell off with the grip. Couldn't get it back on. I never use the buttons, so whatevs, but... that can't be a good sign. That fucker better not break. Not until the commission is done, anyway.

I might have to look into getting a new tablet once this piece is squared away. It's been about 2 years since the pressure sensitivity worked on mine, anyway. Modestly priced recs for brands/models, anyone?

In conclusion: FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKTARDED FUCKSHIT PIGFUCKING GODDAMN SHITEATING FUCK!!! Seriously. It never ends.

(Cross-posted from my art blog.)

This is what my April looks like:

• Just took on a large commission due at the end of the month; I’ve got 3 weeks to do the biggest non-personal project I’ve taken on yet, but when it’s done my final month of rent will be paid.
• Catching up/Keeping up with “Somnium Lupus”. The next two pages are in various states of penciling, and will probably both be finished at around the same time.
*(My sketching process is much slower than usual since the time off. These things should not be taking this long to get right. I wish I could take another week to just do nothing but low-pressure practice sketches, but. Nothing to do now but soldier on.)
• Plotting out logistics for moving; start packing some things. I will be moving halfway across the country at the end of May, bunking at my parents’ house for a month or two, and then moving north to start over in a new city.
• Having as much sex as possible with my partner of five years, because when our apartment lease expires and we move to opposite ends of the country for many very good reasons, our relationship will become long-distance for dog knows how long.
• Getting my pup to the dog park as often as possible for socialization, to minimize the risk that he’ll start a fight with my parents’ dogs while we’re staying there.
• (Evidently) experiencing paradigm shifts in two fairly major areas of my inner life: my belief system, and my survivor status.
• Turning another year older already, and figuring out what I want to do to celebrate. 26 on the 26th, baby!

I was going to do Script Frenzy too, to bang out a rough draft of the SL sequel, but my plate filled up alarmingly fast.

I can’t even see through this thick fog to what May will be like, but it will probably involve a lot of packing, twice the stress level, and three times the “I’ll miss you” sex.

I seem to have emerged from the nadir of the depression. Still a far cry from good, but noticeably better.
Been trying to doodle and sketch. I hate almost every line that goes down on the paper. You know how that goes sometimes.
I graffiti a blank page with graphite vomit and contorted, misshapen figures, and when one of those figures comes out slightly less misshapen than the others, I try to pencil a comic panel. This usually does not go well, but I can confidently say that I have half a panel satisfactorily sketched.
Thrilling, I know.

Today I'm probably not even attempting to draw. Today I'm busy celebrating 5 years together with my partner/boyfriend/mate/lover/person I'm in a relationship with.
In about two months, we're moving to separate ends of the country, for a lot of unfortunate reasons.
We've done long-distance before, but never for more than 4 months. We have no idea how long this separation is going to last.
So I plan on milking today for all that it's worth, to the full extent that I can bear to enjoy anything in my current psychological state.

So, I don't talk about personal details much on here, but I'm one of the many FA artists who has frequent, erm, "arguments" with depression. It's particularly bad the past week or so, and is affecting my art, which affects you; hence this notice.

My spoon count is very, very low right now. I'm sorry, this is embarrassing, but I've got to prioritize what I do with my limited capacity, and I don't have any commissions right now, so. Art updates will be slower than usual until I feel better.

Because it's spring here in the northern hemisphere, there's a good chance this will be a short-lived episode. Here's hoping.

W00t! The markers arrived a few days earlier than I was told they would. At least those exorbitant shipping prices led to some good service.

That is all.

Looks like the internet is back on at home! It's a tentative connection, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Stole this meme from... a lot of people.

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
I think so.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
According to my Bedpost, usually in the afternoon.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The side my partner's not sleeping on. The side closer to the dog's crate.

4. Do you masturbate?
Do you breathe?

5. How often? Lately?
Less often lately. I don't track my masturbation on Bedpost so I couldn't give you exact details.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, but I've been offered money after taking my clothes off of my own volition.

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers. The bottom of the tub always feels gritty and grimy on my own bottom, no matter how clean the tub actually is.

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
I <3 shower sex!

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
I'm on FA, aren't I? XD I also used to participate in unofficial Porn Nights with my friends in college. It was a lolsy event. If you've never seen the live-action, musical Alice in Wonderland porn from the '70s, you haven't lived yet.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive, mostly. I like to be dominated. At some point I'd like to find someone to sub for me (in an ideal world, I'd like to be a driver/rider in a pony play scene), but I'd prefer to learn more about good BDSM etiquette and safety before taking on that kind of responsibility.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Ah-yep. ^__^

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
HA! No.

13. Would you choose money or love?
Well, I've got love, but no money. So if I was offered money in addition to the love I've already got, you bet yer bum I'd take the money. But if I had to choose to only have one or the other? Love. Duh. What kind of person do you take me for?

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Bondage. Puppy play. Spanking/flogging/beating/otherwise being aggressed upon.

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Yes. And I have no intention of talking about it here.

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Uh... in Lake Superior, under a full moon. No, really - IN the lake. Yeah, good times...

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Ooo, that's a toughie. My partner has a thing for public-ish "what if we get caught?" kind of sex. Let's see... in a moving car during rush hour in a large city... in the Mall of America bathroom that's located directly across from the mall police station... in an airport bathroom, quickly and secretly, while our friend was in the snack bar or something... under one of the tiny trees in the Japanese garden of a community college... all over our own college campus... against a tree in the woods, and we finished right before a family of hikers came through... chest-deep in Lake fucking Superior... Yep. Take your pick.

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
My roommate walked in as I was losing my virginity. Such an amateur mistake, not to lock the damn door.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not officially, though I have been to a bar that featured mostly naked men dancing on poles.

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Can't say that I have.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
No, but I've left a bar early due to other people's unwelcome sexual behavior.

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
I have had someone wrap their arms around my waist and literally lift me off the floor in a bar... so... yes?

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
I've gone all ways. The only sexual "type" of person I've never had sex with is an intersex person, though I would like to very much. I think it would be a very beautiful experience.

24. What's your sexuality?
QUEER.

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Ew. Sticky floors. No.

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
See number 17. I've had sex in many, many bathrooms.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, but I've masturbated at work.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
I <3 the Smitten Kitten.

29. Bought something from an adult store?
Yes. Yes. And more yes.

30. Do you own any sex toys?
I enjoy a vast collection, yes.

31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Well, let's see. Three silicone dildos, one of which vibrates, one metal vibrating dildo, three butt plugs, a bullet and an upscale fancy-pants vibrator (hey! they're fun!), a leather strap-on harness (don't ask), multiple cuffs, a ping-pong paddle, a leather chest harness, these rubber finger-condom type things with little nubblies on the outside, leashes, belts, ropes, snaps, handcuffs (real ones, metal, with a key), a flexible rubber ruler, a spiffy blindfold I made myself... and I'm probably forgetting something. Yeah, they build up over the years.

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
My partner has photos. And I'm the only one who has the video footage.

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I don't usually call people's names out during sex at all, so no.

34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yep. I suck at it.

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Not since I was about 13.

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
I thought "intercourse" specifically referred to genital or anal penetration. I think oral sex does count as real sex, though. That's why they call it oral SEX.

37. What's your favorite sexual position?
Hard to say. I usually shift around a whole lot during the process. Sideways is nice, though.

38. What's your favorite sex act?
Teasing, just in general. Preferably while restraints are in use.

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Ohhh yes. Quite a few times.

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
I don't really care, honestly.

Markers have been ordered. Many, many thanks to the PayPal fairies who helped me out! :)
Estimated delivery date is the 22nd. :(

So it looks like a week-and-a-half delay on page 5, at least.

Well, more time to get ahead in the lineart (and to work on other pictures).

I'm sorry to say Somnium Lupus will not be updating this coming week.

This is due to my shortage of markers, and the simultaneous shortage of money to buy new ones. I now have enough to get the markers I need, but not enough for Blick's exorbitant shipping costs ($8 to ship a handful of markers?? And that's the "economy" option! Wtf.)

I know most folks are tapped out after donating aid for Japan... but if you've been enjoying the comic and have a couple bucks to spare, I'd really appreciate it. There's commission/donation info here.

Let me preface this by saying that I'm NOT in dire financial trouble. I'm unemployed, but I have a couple small sources of income (art being one of them), and I manage to pay my bills and student loan on time, every time. I'm not exactly living comfortably, but I'm NOT about to end up on the street.

However, I cannot afford to keep paying the bills AND to restock my art supplies. Since my watchers (presumably) enjoy my art, and (presumably) would like to see more of it, then I don't feel out of place humbly requesting your assistance, if you can provide it without undue strain. Either way, I figure it can't hurt to ask.

Several of my markers have dried up. I've been using these markers to do the Somnium Lupus comic, and this last page took way too long to finish because I was wringing the last arid drops of pigment out of several of the markers that I use most often. I'd like to get replacements ASAP so I don't fall even farther behind schedule with the comic.

The markers I need: (these are Prismacolors, by the way)
Cool Grey 10%, 20%, 30%, 40%.
Warm Grey 10% and 40%.
I'll also be out of cardstock soon, too, though that's less urgent because there's other, somewhat tolerable paper on hand that I can use instead.
...Seeing as these guys kicked it after 4 pages, and there are 9 more pages to go, I'll probably need multiples of each one.

If you have any of these markers and don't plan on using them, I would ADORE you forever if you cared to send them my way, and I would repay you with free art of your character. Email me at taodoggy -AT- gmail -dot- com.

If you don't have markers but would like to help me out, I am still offering Iron Artist commissions (sketch + texture for $15; with flat colors for $25; plus $5 for taurs/wings; plus $10 per character over one).
I can also do more refined soft-shaded commissions for $50, one character.
Or, have yourself an icon in a similar style to mine, 300px and 100px, for $11.
Or... you could donate. I feel really weird suggesting this, but I figure if someone wants to pitch in and can't spare enough for a commission, well, there's no minimum donation. (Let me reiterate that I am NOT in financial trouble, just financial discomfort, and I'm NOT asking for help paying my bills, which are my problem, not yours.) My PayPal is taodoggy -AT- gmail -dot- com.

Also, if this doesn't pan out and I can't get ahold of some new markers, the comic WILL continue anyway. It would just be shaded digitally instead of traditionally. Which would make me kind of sad, because I'm really having a lot of fun with the markers, since I don't usually do traditional media besides graphite. But it WILL continue, in one form or another, assuming I don't get hit by a bus. You have my word.


((NOTE: There seems to be something seriously wrong with my computer's wi-fi functionality. Great timing as always. The computer is past warranty, so I'm consulting with someone I know about the next best course of action. I'll be maintaining contact with my phone.))

So, like the rest of the world, I'm sick now. Not bubonic, just an angry sinus infection and/or cold. Nothing to call home about, but it's still making it hard to sit up for long, and causing me to spend a lot of time sleeping and avoiding harsh fumes from, say, art markers.

So maybe page 4 of Somnium Lupus will be posted on time tomorrow; maybe it won't. I still have two panels of marker left to do, then outlines, scanning, cleanup, layout and lettering, etc. I'll do my best, but if it doesn't go up on Monday, it's because I placed the ability to breathe higher on my priority list.

Ciao,
Tao

No, really.
72 floors off the ground.

...Spiffy!

We were supposed to get back home yesterday, but then there was snow accompanied by the sort of wind that can knock over a pony. Part of our trip involved going over a long bridge, way up in the air, over a very large, very frozen lake, so we decided to stay on an extra night and not get our car blown off the bridge with us in it.

Unfortunately, there was very little sleep to be had on my friends' leaky air mattress. And I only brought enough dog food to last through Sunday (even though I ALWAYS bring extra dog food) so my poor pup didn't get much in the way of breakfast today. Then we had to clear out before 7am this morning because our gracious hosts (and I'm being sincere - they stretched themselves to accommodate us) had to go to work. Aaand after getting all the way back home through blinding snow, my partner realizes he left his cell phone at their house.

I am very, very tired. Somebody please pander to me and congratulate me for actually uploading the next page of "Somnium Lupus" on schedule.

Good news is that I got to spend this weekend catching up with friends. I had a meeting with my mentor/former professor and got some of the guidance/insight I've been lacking. I stayed within budget for the trip. And best of all, I had the delightful opportunity of seeing people perform monologues on stage that I'd written myself... and performing them very well. That was quite a vain thrill for me, I won't lie. Also propping up my ego were the many comments I heard afterward referring to one of my monologues as by far the best-written one - and I know the comments were honest, because although contributors were credited in the back of the program, my name wasn't actually linked to the specific pieces I wrote.

I win!

It's sort of spur-of-the-moment, but I'll be leaving today and coming back on Sunday. I'm bringing my computer, so hopefully I won't be too much out of contact, but if I'm slow to respond, that's why.

Also, banana hammock.