Tired of feeling alone.
Tired of feeling like no one enjoys having me around.
Tired of feeling like the people I call my friends wouldn't even talk to me even if I was the last person they had to spend time with.

Why is it so hard to make friends with similar interests? Why can I not find someplace where I actually belong?

If you're a watcher, and enjoy chatting/roleplaying, you are absolutely welcome to just.. send me a note, or add me on discord. It's never a bad time to talk to me.

Anyone know of any friendly, welcoming Macro themed discords? Been digging around and just can't quite find a place I can call home.

I would really appreciate it if anyone has any to share or tell me about.

Take this bat and beat the shit out of me until I stop getting so IMMEDIATELY attached to characters in good art? Like-
FUCK

It's always just a little bit infuriating when I see good art attached to a good looking character, that isn't used for anything, like.. Roleplaying. Yes, I'm sorry another RP journal. Still desire it.

I mean, it's stupid that I find it frustrating, right? People are allowed to do [or not do] whatever they want with their characters. That's fine.

It's infuriating to me cause I am always near immediately with characters just 'man, I would love to just be able to interact and have fun with that character' in a purely wholesome way, not even sexually. Just. '10 out of 10, I would hold hands with them'.

so yeah.

Someone? Anyone?

Take bat, apply directly to Shark.

So.. Why is it so difficult to find a macro and RP community that's not so focused on vore? I mean, I get it? It's a popular fetish, but at the same time, there's so many other things to enjoy about macro/growth/size-difference, but that's the one that gets the most attention, that's the one that most Discords are dedicated to. I just want to join a Macro Community that's more focused on making friends, enjoying interactions outside of just vore. So.. if any Watchers know of a decent discord for making Size-difference/Macro/Growth friends, please let me know?

Now, on to less whiny things. Bloodstained is coming out in a few weeks and I am beyond ready to play, get back into some GOOD Igavania's. [though not sure what we call Bloodstained since it's not specifically a Castlevania, just.. a spiritual successor.

Also been getting really into Warframe again, and have recently been introduced to some City of Heroes/Villains Private server and having the time of my life, my first MMO back [sorta] in action and it's been so nice. So, if any watchers are into either of those, hit me up! Always eager to chat about those games, or making friends with fellow Roleplayers.

Always welcome to leave me a note or add me on Discord.

So, just kind of putting it out there. Shark is trying to make friends, specially those who are into Roleplay/RP shenanigans. I don't wanna sound picky, but definitely looking for the types that are friendly/affectionate and such, playful, teasing.

Bonus points to other sharks, scalies, bugs, spiders, male or female of any of those get extra points. o/ Even more points for Macro/Giant/Giantess/Size shifters.

I suppose it sounds a bit shallow of me to ask for people to say hi, but I'm just trying to put it out there that it's okay to Note me, add me to discord, or even respond to this journal and we'll see where it goes from there.

30. Thirty. Three-Zero.
Thirty years old. Ten of which I've been puttering around this website, trying to make friends, hoping to get more commissions.

and I've nothing to show for it.
Attempts to have made friends, all of whom I end up in a situation where I care about them more than they could have ever cared about me.
Created characters I've lost interest in using or playing.
Tried having a presence in the Roleplaying community, but surprise surprise, people only care if you RP while also being an actual story writer or an artist they can hopefully mooch off you.

Whatever happened to making friends for the sake of having friends? People to spend time with, to chat with, to just do nothing with or play with?
I don't matter, and I never mattered. I'm just another nobody in the crowd of people who should have never tried.

I'm tired. Probably should just go lay down and not bother getting out of bed until it's time to work. Sleep and Work, about all that I have the energy to do anymore.

So, as of late I've been on a really, really specific kick in regards to what I want to rp. And if my last several image uploads were anything to go by, I have a very large soft spot for Asura, the SmolSmart goblin/imp-like race from Guild Wars 2.

So, that being said, Have an Asura? Want to talk/learn about Asura? Hit me up, I don't think I'll be getting away from this for some time.

Nothing really new to talk about. Uh.. I posted some Art of my Asura, Twigg that I had gotten through commissions or a gift or two.

Other than that, been working. So. Yeah.

I really don't know what it is anymore that causes just about everyone to feel as though they must think the worst of me at all times.

I can't do this anymore.

So, I caved and pre-purchased/loaded Splatoon on my Wii-U, and.. totally going to be need friends to play with/against! So, leave me your Nintendo IDs in my Inbox if you wanna add me! Or just add me, my Nintendo ID is Technic164

Lookin’ forward to playing with people!

I need to start posting more journals on days that are not just only on my birthday. Oh well. I still at least commission and post art, so I guess that counts.

Twenty-five, 25. Quarter of a Century years old. I feel old. But I know I shouldn't.

Not much has really changed over this past year. I suppose. Uh.. I'm still playing video games. I'm still into Macro and growth, still a shark.

I got promoted from Private First Class to Specialist. So..More money. Woo.

Other than that, not much has changed. Maybe I'll update with more journals. Do plan to get more art, as well. Feel free to drop me a line on AIM, Yahoo or Skype or something. Usually always on, if anyone wanted to chat, and stuff.

Anyway.. uh..Stuff, and things. Yup.

I'm not really sure what to put here. Uh. Yay. I'm alive for another year. I don't really expect anyone to even see this, considering I don't know how many of the people 'watching' me even read my random journals.

I might go out, do some drinking, I'm not a hundred percent sure. I do know I'm going to Best Buy to look at some laptops and stuff, cause you know, I should spoil myself once in a while, I've been a good little soldier.

I'm thinking of trying to get one of those Lenova Yogas. I'm not sure yet, going there to take a look at compare whatever to whatever else. I'm looking at getting a secondary laptop/whatever to have running next to my current Laptop, a semi 'high end' gaming laptop. That way I can multitask. TO THE EXTREEEEEEME.

But really, sort of the reason, so I don't need to keep alt-tabbing my games, or playing them in Windowed mode, which reduces the overall gameplay quality at times.

Sure, I could go for something less expensive, but I'm always curious what's happening in the 'New Technology' part of.. technology. So I really want one of those. Maybe I'll make a down payment, and set up a payment plan. I'm not sure yet.

So, I've been recently finding myself more and more drawn to the..Aquatic side of anthros. More specifically, sharks! I don't know what it is. I just find them exotic. They have their own.. allure about them. Plus it's always interesting to see how people design them, since they are well, aquatic, so hands and feet are a difficult concept in a way. Most people just go with 'yay webbing' and all that, which is fine. I just like see what concepts people got.

So, guess getting to my point here, if you happen to be a Roleplayer, and have a shark Character, uh.. feel free to give me a nudge or something! I suppose it's a little selfish/greedy to ask for that, but Eh. Oh well. Suppose everyone is prone to selfish and greedy acts, it human nature. So.. yeah! Feel free to contact me I suppose if anything comes to mind.

Or even if you don't has a Shark, always like meeting new people to chat with, roleplay and all that stuff.

Growth may or may not be involved~.

Recently been finding myself listening to Various boss themes from Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance. And holyfuckwhatthehell they are amazing! I wasn't entirely sure about KH:3DS when I first saw a couple of the trailers and was just gonna think about waiting until KH3 was announced/released. But I listen to some of the songs, and some of the bosses in the game? Freakin' Sweet.

Not gonna spoil anything, but the music is awesome, all I can really say. I'll end up picking up the game when it's released. I might as well. I did enjoy the other games anyway. So yeah, those're my thoughts. Huzzah.

Been too long since I had actually updated this thing, so I figured I'd go ahead and do just that.

Not too muhc has been going on really, just been doing Army related things. Worked on an Ice Bridge up in northern Alaska, that was pretty cool. Climbed a Mountain, just as cool.

For the most part, been playing City of Heroes on most of my free time, occassionally booting up my Playstation 3 and playing Tales of Graces F, or No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise and all that good stuff.

And yes, I got my hands on Diablo 3, fun stuff. definately a good game to play with friends and all that.

So yeah, if any of you who actually read my journals, feel free to toss me your BattleTags for Diablo 3, or if you happen to play City of Heroes [it's free now, by the way.], toss me your global information and we'll see about doing stuff in either game!

So yeah, been back from Basic training for like.. 6 months now. As most of my messenger and IRC contact/friends have found. Basic wasn't such a bad experience, but that may be because we are the 'new army' *cough*So apparently we are far weaker, and less disciplined. Which.. for the most part is kind of true from what I've seen.

Anyway, not really here to talk about all that. If anyone's curious how my Military Career is going, feel free to just ask me. Be it here or on any of the messengers.

As for current stuffs. Uh.. finally bought me a 3DS, Starfox and got Pokemon Black. Fun stuff.

I AM however, upset that they redid the voices for Starfox, cause.. in my opinion. Starfox 64 had some of the best delivered one liners ever. Even better than Duke. ["You're not as STUPID AS YOU LOOOK!"] But now everyone just kind of sounds.. off. Like they're trying too hard to capture the same effect the original voices did.

As for pokemon, fun stuff. Not much I can add that hasn't been mentioned, love how the music changes in battle and the world depending on the situations.

Can't wait for Sonic Generations. Though more importantly can't stay patient enough for mother-fuckin Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.

Guess that's it for now. I might eventually start posting more often,

But yeah, I am leaving for Basic Training for the Army National Guard on Feb 14th. [lawls Valentines Day]. But yeah, just wanted to put this up somewhere and I'm prolly going to put a link to this Journal around so people know what's going on.

I'll be gone for roughly 10 weeks. Assuming nothing goes wrong, I don't injure myself, or I have a sudden break down from everything. I shouldn't have any breakdowns though, I've heard enough stories about Basic that I know that it sucks for everyone.

Anyway, Wish me luck, and I'll be back before anyone even knows! Prolly cause no one really knew I was leaving before this journal anyway. <.<

Last journal was too depressing. stuff has changed. this one is just a placeholder until i'm feeling not lazy.

So. I've been dealing with a bit of a rough time this last month and a half, if it hasn't been known, through myself, or through a couple friends who've been trying to get me help.

I've been living with my dad for a while, he's been trying to help me get back on my feet.

But lately I feel like I've become nothing more than just dead weight. I can't find a job, he's going to jail soon, and my step-mom has THREE jobs, and she's a very proud woman, and the fact that I can't get a job pisses her off to no end.

So I've pretty much decided that if I cannot get a job soon, I'm giving myself roughly a week, maybe a little more or less. I'm going to move out.

I'm hoping to stay with my mom at her friends place, but that might not work out. So I suppose I'm asking if any of you people who do read this, might have a place, spare room, spare couch, spare floor, I'm not picky when it comes to a place to rest my head. Or if you perhaps have a friend or something.

I don't want to impose, but I don't feel right living here with my dad, being wasted space.

I understand job hunting doesn't get easier by simply moving into another town, or state, but I feel I need to get away from where I am now. Lived in this town and the one next to it for nearlyu 20 years.

I'm not running away from my problems. I just want to have a fresh start.

Things aren't going well for this Foxie. As some prolly know, from being linked here by other people. I'm getting Evicted, no ifs, ands, or buts, just that's it. And of course, there's barely anything available and every place that is, seems to love credit checks.

Which wouldn't be such a big deal if I had any credit. I'm still sort of building mine, and it's going slowly of course. And my mother's credit is trashed because of our landlord. Who by the way, it's a huge douche and pretty sure even his own family wants him dead.

It's not that we need money, it's that we can't find a place to stay. Well, my brother can stay at a friends place. I myself, while I do have friends, THEY don't have space. They live at home with their parents, and siblings, which pretty much means they all live in houses with just enough rooms for the family.

Relatives are out of the question, considering they kind of have the same thing going on.

I have maybe one friend I MIGHT be able to live with for a short while, still lives at home, but they have a guest room. Course the only problem is his step dad, is also a douche, hates everyone except direct blood relatives [which of course means he dislikes my friend, cause he lives there and stuff.]

So. I'm running out of options. Fast. Pretty much have until sunday to move out. Course our landlord, still being the worlds biggest prick, gave us 5 days, and said if we're not out, he'll charge us double what we owe, every. Single. Day. We're not out.

So please, if anyone has any means of helping a poor Wisconsin Foxie, I'd love some help.

Long story short, I'm looking for more people to play Champions Online with, be it someone who already has an account, or maybe even someone who's looking for a Decent MMO to actually play.

Course, there's the referal program. Doing that will give those who trial it and myself rewards and bonuses for doing stuff together! So maybe I'm trying to get cool stuff too, but that shouldn't be a reason why I don't want people to give this game a try!

For those who watch me and don't know much about Champions Online, it's a pretty good MMO, much like City of Heroes/Villains. Game opened up several months ago and has recently had new content added, atop of more stuff coming out as often as the Devs can actually can.

The customization of your character is insane, and quite in depth. It's hard to explain everything, but yeah, it's good.

Plus my superGroup totally needs more roleplayers and active members, Heh.

Any way, any of you watchers who actually ready my journals. <.<; Send me a note with your email or something, and I'll send you the referral code!

So yeah, turns out there was some overracting on my brother and mothers part. So uhm, yeah. Not gonna suddenly be without a house. So yay.

Also. in other news. I've recently connected my PS3 to the playstation network. So if anyone who actually watches me has a PS3 or something, send me a note or respond here with your name.

So. My brother loves throwing around the fact that the money that pays for the house is in his name [because he -was- in school and the checks are from something we got cause of our stepfather got killed]. So she kicked him out, and canceled the checks.

So yeah, chances are I won't have a home soon.

Not that anyone really gives a shit I guess. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I'm a pretty much an emotionally blank slate right now.

so yeah

Hu-fucking-zzah.

So, now that I've finally got most of things in working order. I was able to buy Champions online! So uh, good news for the uh..
*looks at something.*

Like, five people who actually read my journal. I'm online. I'm on Champs, just respond here or send me a PM if you wanna do something, assuming people actually have it anymore.