So. I finally. FINALLY got my internet back up. Using unemployment checks and help from family to keep it up. But I really gotta find a job, and soon. For more than just the internet. I gotta get some new video games too! Specially Champions Online and L4D2.

Anyway, just wanted to change this stupid Journal.

Seriously, No Television, no Internet, and now, NO MOTHER FUCKING ELECTRICITY.

I can understand shutting off a persons power if they don't pay for say.. a month, but THE DAY FUCKING AFTER THE BILL WAS DUE? Jesus mother fucking christ. What is WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

It's just fucking retarded, there really should be like, a bill or something passed that forces electricity providers or at the VERY least, provide people they cut off with power for things like their WATER HEATERS, considering we have to pay for water and electricity, which means no hot water soon, and one that keeps their FRIDGE running, so they don't have to go out and spend MORE money on food that had spoiled.

In case anyone is wondering, I'm writing this from a library computer, again.

Honestly, this is just getting rediculous, I'm aware there are those that have it worse, but all this is happening on top of each other and it's honestly stressing me out and driving me insane.

I'm trying to work on getting a job, hell I've decided to do what I NEVER, EVER, wanted to do. I'm sending in an application to McDonalds, I at least have a friend that's working there.

But whatever, I'm completely fed up with everything.

Honestly. I'm still waiting for my luck to take a turn, or infact, start showing up. I really could use some good luck lately, but obviously that's too hard for Karma to muster, despite how much good I try to do, or how nice I try to be, or the fact that there's been no good to counter the bad karma I've been getting.

I go to BestBuy so I can see about getting a laptop, but of course, I get denied the bestbuy card so I can't put a down payment on the lappy. So now I've gotta save up to purchase the laptop once I have enough. Which of course means, because of my luck, the deals running will be done, no cheaper price, no free upgrade from Shitsta to Windows 7, nothing.

I really just want, and I know, this is greedy of me, right? For things to take a good turn for myself and my family, really could use it.

But whatever. I'm bitching.

So, finally realised I really should get around to posting this, not that really anyone reads my page, prolly will just link this in places I do go to.

But... I totally have no internet at home, i'm posting this from a computer at the local library. Sure, having no internet isn't a huge deal, but my family is pretty much running on fumes when it comes to having money. My mom has to file for bankrupt, while that will help with the random ammounts of debt owe'd, still going to be a bitch to get everything up and running.

Ontop of that it seems like I'm going to have to start paying for my own internet, you know, assuming I ever get a FUCKING JOB. It's really hard to get anything out here being a small port town, and me not having a license. So yeah, I really don't know what to do.. x.x

Take this how you will, as just me writing up how bored I am, or how I'm complaining about how Bored I am.

As if you haven't guessed. I'M BORED. There is so little to do lately! It's getting harder and harder for me to find people to roleplay with, though perhaps if I looked more often for people to meet or something. I 'unno. Perhaps I won't be as bored once Champions Online releases [though that's not until June] so until then I can hope that I get into closed Beta, or something.

But yeah, bored, friends are either too busy with work or school to just hang out anymore, and I typically annihilate video games when I buy them [like, beating them in two days.].

But yeaaah, if anyone wants to chat or roleplay or something. My aim is on the page, and there's always the note system. Even though not many people watch me, figured I'd mention it. <.<

No. I didn't buy Mercenaries 2, I just have been addicted to the theme from the commercial, just called 'Oh No'.

Buuut in other news. This foxie has gotten his paws on a copy of Team Fortress 2 [finally, cripes.] So if anyone who actually glances at this page has Steam, yes I get it for the computer, give me a friend invite or something.

My steam is Tchnic

But it prolly will say I was added as Technic, since that's my ingame name.

Yeah. I got Mario Kart Wii, figured I'd take the time to post up my friend code for those who have the game too, and just somehow happen to be watching me. Also there incase people decide to poke about my page, for whatever reason, and happen to have Mario kart as well.

Code: 2148-8929-2380

I don't know how the friend system works this time around, so if you add me, leave a message. Since I don't know if I get a notify, or if once I'm added to yours, you're added to mine.

Also, leave you friend code if you got it too. Race y'all later.

Well, wee, back to normal. La la la. I still don't have anything to really put on this page, but I'm not really gonna abandon it.

I'm just sitting here, staring blankly at my computer screen, probably because the lack of anything to really do at the moment, when it crosses my mind.

"Good fucking God. I've listened to this Song Twenty Billion times, when will I tire of it?"

The answer, NEVER. Fuck yeah.

Crush 40 is by far one of my favorite bands, so they do mostly just Sonic the Hedgehog lyrical songs. They fucking kick ass. The only few songs that still send shivers down my body are songs by Crush 40.

Open Your Heart [Sonic Adventure]

Live and Learn [ Sonic Adventure 2]

What I'm made of... [Sonic Heroes.]

I am [Shadow the Hedgehog]

Never Turn back [Shadow the Hedgehog.]

I'm sure there's a couple more, but they're just not as uber awesome as those.

So, why am I wasting a Journal entry to tell people this? Well, one because I CAN. There are a hell of a lot more worthless journals out there than mine. And two, because no one really fucking looks at my page. I don't DO anything. Hell. I don't even ask for requests, get gifts, or commission anything to put on my damn page.

Yes this journal has devolved into an Emo post. But that's what happens when I'm left to myself to Think. I get angry, and alone. Yes. 'O no, emo post, I mst leve here nowz." Well fine. I don't really care. Everyone else goes about, posting about the innerworking of their minds, why the shit can't I? Well, probably because I turn into some huge rant that usually doesn't Involve most people.

But yeah, why am I getting mad? despite just saying how much I love something? Simple. I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick. I'm Tired of being pushed aside, or pushed back into someones mind to be forgotten.

I'm Tired of being JEALOUS of everyone all the time. Tired of looking at gifts, and art going 'Why not me?'. Though I know 'why not'. Because of stuff like this. WEll at least I'm doing it in journal form and not ranting at one of my friends over aim, cause that'd be disasterous. So in the long wrong. I'm probably going to angry and Jealous a lot. So I figured I'd warn the what.. five, six people who actually watch my fucking page? Not that it really matters I guess.

Whatever. I'm Done. Sorry to you.. three people who might actually read this damn post.

---

Go ahead and try to see through me,
Do it if you dare!
One step forward, two steps back now
I'm here... (One step forward, two steps back)


Can you see all of me?
Walk into my mystery,
Step inside and hold on for dear life.

Do you remember me?
Capture you or set you free,
I am all, I am all of me.
(I am, I am all of me!)

I am...
I am everyone, everywhere, anyhow, any way, any will, any day...
----

That is All.

I'm finally jumping on the wagon. I got brawl, and I fixed my computer up to send out wireless signals. I just hope that the DSL strength is enough for efficient online gaming.

Anyway, friendcode.. Uh, let me see.

2363-5515-1207

Course barely anyone actually is watching me, but I'll prolly be passing my code around on aim or something as well.

So, was chatting with a friend when he happened to show me a couple images dealing with a Pokemon, well, a pokemorph really. Happened to be Lucario.

Then it hit me. "Holy Freakin' Crap. I can totally make a really kickass close design to an anthro Lucario in my MMO!' So I did.

City of Heroes/Villains, really great game with insane costume editing options.

so I went to make it, got about as close as I could, which was pretty damn close mind you, then Realised, "CRAP. Stupid Copywrite.' So I couldn't make the character a full fledged one, just an idea. So Now I'm stuck with the base for a sexy Lucario girl, but I've nothing really to do with her.

Sigh, somedays I wish I had better means of venting out ideas I can't use.

Old journal had links too dead and stuff. figured I'd just put something here to take up new space.

Blah de blah blah, stuff. Woo. Also uh. Yay.

So. I feel pretty good for once. AS to why? WEll do I need a reason? Not really, but I got a reason this time to feel good about myself.

Answer is here: http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=937937&topic=39199715

The reason I'm so glad about this, is because I actually wrote a game theory and idea that people actually accepted, took well and agreed too. That made my day as a gamer. Woot.

I mean not only was it accepted, but I was complimented and even given a little praise. WEll then, That is all. And stuff. o.o

So then, I'm sitting here at my computer, doing absolutely nothing and for once it's not even really my fault. I've been calling around most of the day after I had woken up and gotten a phone call from my father. Mind you I didn't crawl out of bed until about 4:15 central time zone.

So I call about after chatting a bit on the computer. I call one friend, his girlfriend answers and she sounds hysterical, laughing while my friend orders I assume chicken from prolly KFC. She finally manages to put him on the phone and we talk a little. Course it turns out he's got plans with his girlfriend already and he won't be available to hang out all weekend.

So Whatever. I figured I had at least one other person to call. So I did. Course it takes three calls over the course of an hour and a half. Finally he answers, but it turns out he's too TIRED to fucking do anything today. Then again he never has any ideas on what to do either that doesn't involve getting one other friend of ours and driving to the tired friends brothers house to play fucking Halo 3, which is a boring ass game, beat in 4 fucking hours. So we decide not to hang out, he probably went to take a nap or something.

So yeah, I'm sitting here, listening to music, depressed as fuck and I can't do anything about it. I have no car. I'm afraid of learning to drive at that. Then there's the undeniable fact that my town blows major fucking ass and there's nothing to do here unless you enjoy sitting around and staring at the mother fucking lake.

So all I can do is sit and think about all the places I've gone wrong. Maybe I just don't try hard enough to go out and do things. Maybe I'm just lazy. Fuck I don't know. Regardless of all that I don't have anything else to do during the week except working my one shift a week down at a resturant dishwashing with some redneck who doesn't seem to realize he's a fucking REDNECK.

I've beaten all my video games to the point that they're just dull to replay for a fifth time, and because I only work one single day a week I don't make enough money to buy new games. I'm trying to get a new job, but that goes about as well as it always does, shit. No matter where I apply they never seem to need someone who can type above after speed and is good with computer. As well as capable of having good people skills. I'm applying at some shit ass factory that stocks shoes, well I applied anyway. If that falls out I'll just apply at this US Cellular place, hopefully they'll need someone with my skills. I don't know.

Well I guess you can call this an emo rant, or just a rant all on it's own, fuck if I really know or give a damn anymore.

I mean why should I care that no one seems to want to give me a chance to prove I' different. Sure this rant isn't helping my case at all, but whoopty-shit. So little people actually try and get to know me or give me another chance it's like there's no point in even trying to change myself. Got people who take one insult and make it a reason to hate me forever. Got other people whos egos get too inflated and think they're too good for people except those with egos as big as fucking theirs. Also got people who hold a grudge for something tiny that I've already appologized for and they just refused to fucking let it go.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just jealous of people lately, everyone of my friends either being able to draw and getting gift art while I can't draw worth spit and no one seems to want to draw any of my characters. I hate asking, maybe that's why I don't get any art. Does that make me selfish? I don't know. I'd love to get gift art from my friends. But I don't want people thinking that's the only reason I'm their friend. I'm glad I know people online who are willing to chat with me at the very least.

My other problem is I've got these sexy gal characters, but I can't seem to get in the mood to play them, unless I get them drawn. So I'm in some sorta semi-circle of roleplaying and art problems. How I went from explaining my bad day to my daily problems. I don't know, but I'm talking about them anyway because I need to vent. Course no one but a select few even know about my page because I'm watching them, and there's the..four who are watching me despite the fact that I never fucking draw or post any pictures.

So I guess when it gets right down to it. I'm a depressed little foxie who'd just like some more attention or affection from his friends in real life or online with roleplaying and the like.

And if you're just gonna exclaim how emo I am and that "Furries, we know drama." Then shut the fuck up you bastards. I never forced any of you to read this shit. So stop acting like it's such a huge ass fucking deal that I have emotional problems. Good christ people. It's GOOD to get your emotions out or you end up being hard as shits who people will end up hating in the long run. Sure whining and complaining doesn't help anyone either, but it doesn't keep emotions locked away.

WEll I'm done. Maybe I'll draw some attention with this, maybe not. Maybe it'll make things worse for me in the furry world because of my attitude. Maybe not. I don't know the future and I'm glad, because that would spoil it.

Regardless of all that. I care about my friends online and in real life, and I love them all in a non-gay way.

The Foxie with problems,
Technic.

Well then, finally after god knows of having nothing to say. I suddenly do. Not that too many people will actually be seeing this here journal. Anyway..

Seems I've taken it upon myself to hunt down a very specific item, it may cost me a lot of money, and I may need to commission someone to make this item, but I gotta do it.

This certain item is from a video game (surprise surprise.) as well as one anime. Y'see, I'm kind of a fanatic, an Idolizer of this character, and I'm not entirely sure while.

know him as Julian Kintobor of the House of Ivo. Some of you know him as none other than Dr. Ivo Robotnik! Course most of you know him as Dr. Eggman. Ew.. horrid name. Or most of you won't know him at all.

Regardless. I've taken it upon myself to find His Red, white and gold Jacket. I would assume it's leather, and very turlenecky. Here's an example:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped.....Dr._Eggman.png

(picture is copywrite Sega, link from Wikipedia, obviously)

Now you might be wondering,

"OMGWTFBBQ what's that on his chest?!" I would assume they're giant gold buttons. But I don't exactly want those on it. I'm more towards gold rectangular buckles if anything.

Now I'm not too sure if I'm breaking any rules by showing that picture, but it'll help get the basic idea of what it is I want.

It is one kicks ass freakin' Jacket. I know. And I must get one made somehow.

Why am I making this a journal? well because I've had nothing to write about up to this point, and now I've decided I needed to write about this.

If anyone can actually help me find a site to work with to get it made or buy. Send me a private message with a link or two, and possibly to tell me how awesome or weird I am cause of this want. Thank you.