Losing my job.... My greatest friend... all on the same damn ass day.... It's the worst feeling a person like me can go through I have been sitting here for the last two days wondering what hell is wrong with me.... what did I do wrong when did these events start.... I feel like crap I cant talk to people without wanting to rip my eyes out and sending them down a well... Nothing feels right anymore my happiness has been eluded from me I tried to play xbox that didnt help I tried roleplay the one thing that used to always keep me up and running i mean roleplay always made me happy no matter who it was with but now its just like it isnt even worth trying to do it... I laid in my bed until four pm today staring at the wall wanting to cry... so much.... that all this stuff is happening to me.... - sighs softly - maybe one day things will be better but I dont see a bright way for a while....

Well I dont write much journals and I rarely make public journals... but I just need to get my feelings out some... Recently ive been getting so depressed... like something is missing in my day by day life.... and I know what it is but like it has stopped happening... There is this specific person in my life that I am always excited to see and speak to and have a good time with... Recently we stopped calling and now i dont know if i had done something wrong or he is just not wanting to talk.... I understand if he needed some space.... but like sitting here not knowing if he is okay... not being able to talk to him about whats going on its drilling into my emotions and making me depressed and i dont know how to help it...

sorry for inconviencing someone with my feelings... but i needed to get it out.... it has been heavy onto me....

Hey have you ever had an odd feeling saying something is gonna go wrong today but you don't know what? I've been having that feeling for the past couple of days now and I really don't know how to explain it. Nothing has really happened and I do not know if its a false sense of feeling or something really is going to happen. I am getting really anxious about it and I am sure I am overworking myself over it as well but what do you guys think about it?