Yeah, it's good. I feel good about my game. I'm still not sure how to get more attention of new people to it, but I'm working on it! But let's talk about another game: Final Fantasy 14. Yeah yeah, cue the quote. Have you played it? Which player are you? Casual? Savage/Ultimate raider? Perhaps everything, aka achievement-hunter? I was the last one. I really wanted to be casual and be a hot cat-man, but I dunno.

Tl;dr first: I was addicted, it affected my mental health, I hard quit (for the second time, and for good) I rarely ever had fun. It did not define who I was, but it did not help my mental health much. After almost three weeks, I feel better, and my pro/con list stayed true (there were barely any cons) Now I hope I can turn that extra time and energy toward my game. Also I am playing D&D and BG3 for the first time. Much more my style, which is not competition, but rather imo fair and FUN rng.

Bored? Buckle in.
-
--
---
Comments are disabled because I don't want a "toss your opinion on SE being shitty or not" war going on. I do not blame them for my addiction, even though I know "MMOs are designed to keep you coming back" and if it weren't for the outrageous achievement system, maybe I'd have been fine. And yes I am aware "nah that's WOW. FF14 is designed so that you can put it down and pick it back up when you feel like it" but see, that doesn't apply to everyone.

I never would have played the damn game if I couldn't have been a hot cat-man. Happy brain juice go lala. "An MMO is scary," my poor, meek brain went. "How can I expect myself to play with lots of strangers?" But I wasn't alone, for my friend & their friends and my partner joined. That's pretty cool. As time went on though, I craved this achievement system. Some of it had to be done solo, and a lot of it was tied to optional content that no one should expect their partner to do. I did drag him through a few things, and we still had fun. If I wanted to do more grindy stuff though, I'd have to respect his time. He had a job—I didn't. I did ask him to help with one thing, though: spawning an S rank.

An S rank is a monster that has a chance to spawn upon a trigger (usually player-caused) and this one is from eating food at specific coordinates in a region. I was already aware of the chance timer (which eventually maxes out, but players want things asap, so they spam it across the hours or use bots, probably) but we could not spawn it.

I was really curious, though (and bear in mind I was not in any Discord group for this. Just a n00b experimenting) especially since "man, no one would go after these things. I must be one of the only ones" HA! HA and HA again, I say, for how wrong I was. I caught a fish in a different zone which did trigger an S rank. I was very proud, happy, and excited. I did not know where it spawned though (because of course there had to be 30 possible locations) so I turned on Shout chat to ask for help so that I did not miss killing it. (FYI that was usually off 'cuz 1: it's annoying/distracting, and 2: i'm not very social. And there it was: kill number one (of 5,000 btw) I think I may have been in one Discord but unsure. Regardless, somehow I got a Tell (DM) in game later, asked if I was the one who triggered the spawn. You see, I take text seriously. Part of being autistic, assuming the worst (me personally) I thought I had pissed someone off. I don't even remember if I responded but basically there are several "timer" websites online, and the one who spawned usually ticks it off so the spawn timer itself resets. An incorrect timer leads to ppl wasting time trying to spawn something already killed, see.

I dunno if it was half a year, but through anguish and persistence, I managed to kill 5,000 of these stupid things. Then there are 10,000 of another rank of monster that you DO NOT have much hope of achieving without Discord or a linkshell. I quickly learned how these little "hunt trains" worked and got that one too. Little did I know it was a bad idea to go after all of that, because those were general achievements. I should mention that I was a Shadowbringers baby. 5.2 or whatever specifically. (and unless you have played from Heavensward consistently, have no/a flexible job, and NO LIFE, you will never be remarkable on any leaderboard) Anyway, in Endwalker, there was a specific achievement for 1000 more S ranks in Endwalker zones (and 1k or 2k for another rank, can't remember) Know what that means? Your general 5k which didn't need to be gone past will become a useless 6k if you continue hunting. Same thing for Dongtrail. Before quitting I had over 7k of something. The "efficient" choice would have been to stop at 3k in Shadowbringers, but how is anyone supposed to read minds of meanie coders?

That is just ONE part of long-term things. Have you caught every fish up to current patch? Every LEGENDARY/Big fish? I had. From 0 to whatever dumb number it is now. Did you get 20 thief map clears? "Wtf is a thief map???" I did. Any pvp achievements to show off? I had a fair amount. Did you do the Baldesion Arsenal 10 times? Did you do all the stuff in Bozja (yes all, including 10 Savage DR clears) Were you in 24 different Discords trying to stay "afloat" in the sea of sweaty fellow players? We haven't even discussed how my friend taught me more about what autism really is, or how I was very alone perpetually at some point, or the disagreements I had. Now, I DID have friends who played, but our times did not often match up (and me living in a different part of the world did not help) For years I tried to make more friends, but nothing ever really worked. Those fellow achievement hunters I had no choice but to become acquaintances with? Hah, you think they were friends? As soon as they got something first, 99% of the time they would not help you if you were not at the same number. How foolish I was to think any sort of bond was formed. Colleagues, at best.

But we haven't talked about the craziest parts. I dunno what % of hunters are on the spectrum, but I'm telling you a decent bit have to be neurodivergent 'cuz they just crank this shit out like it's nothing, no nerves, whatever. I know some of them have partners/wives/husbands but I dunno, man. I dunno how they make it work. I'm here the whole time trying to show off my e-peen for no good reason, staying in the top 10... for a dinky server no one plays on. In the long run—global leaderboards—I was not visible. It's to be expected for trying to jump in mid-life of the game. I'll spare you the scawwwy baby Eureka stories, so I really wanted a mount: the Landerwaffe. A special mount with its own skin/model, a cool armored dragon machine. Had to do some pretty annoying fights for that. I cooked food for my friends (yes in-game) to make sure our stats were up to par at lvl 90 (this was a lvl 80 fight, I must be clear) and I eventually got things with decent drop rates. Let's back up to when it was relevant (could not be "cheesed" with higher levels) One of the fights was (oh wow, spoilers) Hades EX. One does not waltz into Hades EX. If you are not using voice, you all need to know what you're doing. Even if you did use voice, you needed to know. I barely did, and it showed. I had my friend Axel help me. It was still overstimulating, but it was nice to have cleared it once. Then he said "now you can join clear parties!" In his mind, he thought "now he can join parties with the cleared flag set and do this faster." In my mind, I was like huh. So I joined a clear party anyway—because my friend believed in me. It was an OK time until the end. My nerves and overstimulation got the best of me of course, and I was not at all confident, but the players were able to guide a bit. I got yelled at toward the end because I was Ranged who was supposed to stand on/near the back (for some mechanic that doesn't always(?) happen the same way, idfk. But we cleared. No I didn't get the mount (btw you need one from each specific lvl 80 extreme trial. That Landerwaffe did not drop from a fight) But I did get kicked from the party. To make things worse, whatever was going on with my sound was uhh, lolllll cuz halfway through that clear-fight, my sound cut out. No idea why but I rely on signals so y'know. That made me play a lil worse.

So I go cry to my partner (yeah I'm sensitive—you wanna fight? Here's my address) about my feeweengs. Axel was silly to think I was "like him." I cannot just go into a fight without being nervous even if cleared once b4. I am not Axel. Axel is not autistic (maybe, or diff on spectrum) and I am autistic, which makes things harder. I did eventually get the mount with help from my soon-to-be husband and some friends at lvl 90. Cheese isn't always satisfying, though, and I did get my revenge. I found a Blue Mage ping (years later) and tried it confidently (after two other failed ping groups) and that felt good. We used voice. No salt. Yes Blu OP but not invincible, and squishy af. Still something to be proud of. But fuck that, right? The only true impressive way is to have done it the very week Blue Mage got access to Hades right? Oh, to be an invincible neurodivergent player on Aether. Nah, I chose to be on the "RP" server Crystal for a house or two that I didn't even appreciate. At least there's data travel.

At least there's sitting at the computer waiting for pings or running back from the bathroom when you hear the sound so you don't miss a new S rank, gambling by turning on pings for other data centers so you can get this done with faster. At least they came out with new, fresh content eventually. Right?

Let's cut all the other BS stories from over the years and jump to Occult Crescent (specifically Forked Tower). Clear it 100 times. "Wow, it must be easy then. The others just wanted 50 per zone, and since a new zone comes out next year, maybe something's going on...?" Ha.
You need a Discord group to clear it. Gone are the days, apparently, where 7 ppl can just waltz into something like CLL with a buff that makes you have the power of many. Not only was this the "final test" of the zone, but it was built to be on-par with Savage difficulty (no, you don't get to argue—if you need a Discord group to get past the first boss unless y'all done it a few times before and don't have n00bs or trolls, while it may not be "Savage" mechanically sometimes in your opinion, it is something that gets very chaotic with a minimum of 24 ppl, and a max of 48, and if you wanna comfortably do this shit? You need minimum 40.) Now if someone like me can learn the mechanics (even though I learn slower than the average player) anyone can. But traps? I can't control those (and I didn't want to play Ranger (not to be confused with Ranged) or Tank. I don't like traps. Especially not the new Mega trap that has a huge radius. How many wipes I saw, indeed. They are "not supposed" to be blown up in certain areas, but gamers of course figured out ideal ways to deal with them. You have the safe raid leader that has someone do some funky steps to blow it up safely from a distance. You have the expectant raid leader who counts on you not accidentally backflipping into one in a tight area. Then you have the poor raid leaders (yeah I said it) who don't try to make things smooth in any regard. Some of these gamers on a certain data center think they're hot stuff, but they have a bigger failure rate than people who aren't as confident—or is it cocky?

I'll make it clear: this was all my choice. No one said I had to stay up all night to try to get more clears by joining a group I never gamed with. No one said I had to go to work, rush home to catch a raid, then sometimes go back to work all for the sake of checking off this box faster. I wanted to, and some of the gambles were shit. One leader in particular is incredibly unfriendly to those with audio sensory debuffs (not on purpose) since they talk loud, their mic constantly picks up bg noise "and they don't know how to fix it" but they also let anyone talk, including their annoying friends "something-something here's a quote I definitely never said before." I had to mute specifically everyone except the leader and one callout helper, and even then, it was horrid. Why not mute them too if I know what I'm doing anyway? Because I still need to know things like "we're taking 5" or if they decide to use a tactic unexpectedly—it happens. God, I could go on and on. We haven't even talked about me gaining the confidence to say that some groups I was learning with were holding ME back. ME, the one who learns slow.

Through it all, I was able to get into a super cool secret Discord with other achievement hunters that knew how to tear this raid apart. But still? Trolls. Yeah. They just can't help but kill other players with traps. So funny. I should mention the lives system. You get 3 lives. If you die on your last life, you cannot get resurrected. How surprised you would be when you discover how precious those lives are. I've seen people with none left get blown up by another player. They don't think they're a troll, but that's effectively what they are. And because they're friends with other ppl there, they don't get banned. We get told to lock in sure, and maybe it goes smoothly from there. But the next time? Happens all over again. And yep, once they hit 100, they often left only to be replaced with an unfamiliar person 'cuz we desperate, or another troll. I also wiped a raid once, by the way. The one who let me in never knew, but it was true. I didn't fully understand how a mech at the last boss worked, but you better believe I learned why (because I went out of my way to discover and ask others, and try to replicate it in the simulator... which wasn't perfect, btw. It didn't say things like "you killed 16 other ppl!" when you fuck up. It really would help to add context.)

So my brain... it's funny. I need to learn things in a specific way. I don't care that a neurodivergent person posts a raid plan that's "easy to understand" I TRY to care, but my brain, so I have to figure it out my way. Eventually I did, and that's cool. There WERE cool groups... on CRYSTAL no less? Crazy. Ppl like ME who took it seriously, no trolls? Amazing. And I desperately needed clears with that group since the cool kids disbanded, most of 'em already at 100. We haven't talked about how you get into this tower, btw. You have to be max level (not your regular level, special zone level), donate a thing, wait for a specific weather, don't get killed by ppl trying to build LB (just get up in time) stand on the thing, and there it is: your CHANCE at eventual freedom. Good luck!

What? You thought you could just "queue in" to the raid? You're funny. Why do you think Zobbe does that silly song and dance waiting for weather to summon a portal to get into The Lusus Arsenal? Because I'm poking fun of the stupid decisions game devs made. Yeah, I admitted it. Eureka and Occult Crescent are trash. (And I guess Bozja is OK???) Hot trash that as someone described "the devs will keep feeding you slop and you keep eating it up without question." Forget how it used to be—it's still trash.
You round up your 47 beavers from Beaver Bother.
If everyone manages to hit a single button, maybe you'll load into the zone.
Oh no, someone's level 19? Don't worry, we can Gold Farm them (despite the goddamn rules saying if you're 19, you're out, no mercy) you keep pampering them, you'll keep yourself open to being taken advantage of. Surely... SURELY too many ppl won't go and the person who needs to level on a timer won't miss out.
Surely no one will be trolly.
Surely the tank won't get killed by the pre-popped mega and cause the raid to wipe 'cuz no one else had their stance on to pick up the mini-boss 'cuz they weren't expecting it.
Surely a stray Starfall won't hit the purple can and give a group Hysteria for a minute.
Surely we won't wipe at Snowballs or Fire towers.
Surely even with 48 people we won't miss an ice stack.
Oh, the raid wiped? That's OK, we can waste 30 minutes making sure every single person is back to lvl 20 when half of them miss the exp opportunities, then waste 10 more mins for a break and 10 more mins getting back in waiting for someone to hit a button and wait for the weather.
I was at 97 clears before I called it quits. I just stopped caring on the spot. It was interesting because the 10 or so (after learning and going for clears) failed raids... if they cleared, I'd have been done weeks before I was driven mad.

Unrelated, but I want to meet the person who gave the OK to 30k accursed hoard. No reason. : )
I also want Yoshi P to say to my face: "We did not allow Forked Tower to be something you could queue into because we want to make sure the game stays alive longer by wasting peoples' time." I also want to hear him say "14 is the type of game you can put down and come back to... unless you are an achievement hunter, in which case, instead of making something fair or enjoyable, we want to make you miserable and make it easier for you to feel miserable like you have to keep playing constantly and encourage you to not have a life." Waiting.

They can be trolls if they want. They can have fun. I just didn't want to be there. The game made me feel lonely as hell in general. Maybe it was a calling that I shouldn't do things that make me unhappy. And finding that out for myself (lord knows ppl telling other ppl things never works) is great. As for me, I'm enjoying feeling what it's like to have fun with a video game again. I suspect my own game's quality will improve now that I have more brain and energy for it.

Do you have fun with 14? That's cool if you do. Not everything works for everyone. I'm not saying it's bad. It is very easy to see that the creators don't respect their players as a whole, but we're not getting into that. If you like it, congrats. I found something that actually makes me happy now, and that's my little story. Maybe it will inspire someone. Cheers!

Hi! I know for a while now this account just post update images, but I'm starting to get permission to repost fan art, so expect some fun variety soon! <3

Don't mind me... (Zobbe as Main Character when dating Ace, Damian, Brock, Daz, or Morton)

(Morton when the Main Character is Ace, Damian, or Zobbe)

Mostly Z & M. Other chars technically can, but it is most noticeable when Z or M. Putting Z & M together specifically will be the most fun in my opinion.

https://tehguthroth.itch.io/spectrum-of-hybrids

And it's only starting! Spread the word and enjoy.

Hello! I have tidied up this account (boy, were there yeeeears of... old things) and am here to let you know that I am settled in Australia with my husband, Fenrir!

AND that I'm making a Visual Novel that (most consider SFW) has a bunch of cute characters with interesting, heartfelt stories. About to make the first submission about it! Seeing as how the art team is finally comfortably filled, it is time to get the word out more!

This would not be possible without the help   lizardsoup and the team of artists I have now (I have to verify what they do and don't want linked but will link as time goes on) including a composer! Thank you, everyone.

In time, I want to make a Patreon for the game as the time grows closer, as well as a Tumblr and a Discord server to keep the future players engaged. In the meantime, I post more on Twitter https://twitter.com/sohybrids but will certainly upload here as well because I can type many more characters!

While I don't expect the game to become hugely popular or make lots of money, I really do hope to make players smile because a loooot of time and work is going into this, with almost all the stories and designs being done by myself as well as all the coding. All I ask for in the end is to see the interactions and comments of players, those who look forward to playing it and those who do play it when it comes out.

This will be released in updates, with the actual first release coming in January 2024, then aiming to be updated bit by bit every month until an "end" is reached for each main character.

Things that are unique to the game (to my knowledge):

Choice to move the text box
Choice to read in first person or third person
Choice of main character (not just who you befriend or grow closer to)

And so much more! There will be many, many routes and you can "ship" your choice of main characters, OR just remain their friend and enjoy the wholesome stories. Everyone has a lot going on! And who knows—as time goes on, perhaps some of the side characters will be playable!

I am focusing on details and flourish, and truly hope everyone who plays has a great time. Stay tuned!