Yes i am copy pasting the same thread from twitter because it's honestly quite the same i could ever say here, since i really think my life really started 2 years ago as things got better:

2 years ago I wanted to make a change and with that i made this account just to run away from the abusive grounds of my manipulative ex, through this 2 whole years i could stop lying and be myself, i am glad for the people i met through this journey and everyone i met was both bad and good and that's what life is about, there has been a lot of change in myself and how i view thing, thanks for everyone who was there for me and gave support to when i most need it, you all mutuals, friends and can't forget my lovers, are amazing people I'm glad i was able to meet such great people after all this years of constant silent suffering i have been through
may this year be better than the other
I love the love of my life, my friends, the people who are very close to me and to the little family i could gather myself Made from people who truly care about me and not because we have the same bloodline
Love the people that i can call them as sister, dad and mom

I love each one of you all
Thanks for everything

- Lilya The Nidorina

So if you did or not notice I wasn't much online these past weeks(almost a month already)
I haven't talked to anyone either on Discord, Steam, FA, Twitter, Telegram and other medias

I will drop the context for those that don't know what happened.

Some time around day 20th April, back a few days someone at my class(yes I'm 20 and still on highschool, I was shitty when teenager and had to pay the price), went spilling out that I draw porn to someone that this someone got to teachers and to my mom, I don't draw +18 in class so someone either saw my book where I keep all my drawings while I was away or someone knew my socials, I didn't cared and showed later as my mom asked to see the drawings(removing the porn stuff obviously, aside from some suggestive drawings I had there), she saw and didn't saw much of a problem but thought that my suggestive drawings were the stuff they were talking about, I lived on from there and continued living my life.

Extra context: for some other reason I had to be home and couldn't go to class.
Then at the day of 19th April my mom came to my room wanting to talk about something, she gets closer and on her phone she shows me my twitter and asks about the "Trans🏳️‍⚧️" in my bio as she scrolls to my twitter seeing my stuff, at that point I just instantly froze and couldn't say or do anything, later the days I spent my time simply not being able to talk and staying in bed all day and not even eating, skipping a few days it's just my mom sometimes trying to get "through me" but I still can't even talk, talk verbally or even writing stuff, too much anxiety and stress, I have had panic attacks from that and only made it worse as time goes.(there is too much to explain and I don't want to explain)

Skipping a bit of time, I'm just a bit better, not talking but being able to communicate through nodding and other some stuff.
Later skipping days to more recently, I "asked" to stay at my aunt, and now I am at my aunt in the moment, I will be getting not class and instead work with her or just helping.
I noticed that as I am here.... I am feeling a bit comfortable, it's not that great but I am feeling less anxious and less stressful, in a few days if may things get better I will be more open again and may come back to "normal" as I was.
I'm not sure of anything, the future is scary and I can't see past the fog from it, but I can try to be here to see what it will unveil.

Edit 1: I wasn't kicked out of my home I had a choice and wanted to stay at my aunt

My twitter atm is locked as I tried to deactivate and reactivated recently, my handle has been changed from Lilya_Nida to Adin_Aylil, the "Lilya_Nida" handle is preserved on a old account of mine that I don't use, I will probably reuse it to be a main SFW account instead of my "Lilya_Teh_Braix", you are free to follow both accounts, I will accept requests on my NSFW one if anyone wishes, I don't think I will be drawing anything, if I do get to post drawings here it's because it was already been drawn in the past and I just didn't posted

I will post another journal about my e621 uploads this one is getting too long

Have a nice day
Any nice comments are welcome

Edit 2: Feel free to ask anything, I left a ton of information out because I didn't wanted to be the bible 2 from writing it, if I get too uncomfortable with the questions I will say it or hid the comment if it's too much uncomfortable for me

For those who are unaware I was taking a break from the internet and had to prolong the break for 4 weeks instead of being just some days

Here the twitter thread I made being more informative about what exactly happened to me: https://twitter.com/Lilya_Nida/stat.....53206335721473

I will come back with more art soon and I already have some stuff to post here

Happy holidays for everyone!! hope every single one of you are having an amazing time