Its been a while...i'm still around..lonely as usual..wish had someone...
Anyway...things are meh...
An org i use to go out on certain day..to give me independence..they are not getting the funding they need so pulled out my area..but due to the unusual contract luckily me and friend i meet up with so wee have..nothing changing so that's good..but its awful to hear people lose their services..and stall could lose jobs as well..

Like is there any communication at all?
And now being chased for money didn't spend..just aghh..parents deal with it all..why do they just felt lets change the rules..its unfair..and punishing us for just trying to live..

As sometimes peep message me are confused when i say i don't work
Well things stop me having a paid employment..and yes i am on benefits
That is where u get money from government to put it towards things You Need
But that something i will live with rest of my life...

Anyway was in Spain few months back...was nice hotel..weather nice too.

Anyway big news This Friday is my 40th Birthday

This iis my linktree..has everyhere i am

https://linktr.ee/terminatorfan?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=9f0e2951-3a1c-492c-9261-1d68ab3e0fbc

Annyway been bit crazy lately here..ocd bein a real pain..cause we lost net for a few days...

Now cast back few yeears..this wouldn't have bothered me as mutch...but the idiotic torys etc decided hey no one needs cable lines..online is future...so no internet...NO HOUSE PHONELINE...
This was all cause we upgraded our tivo boxes from virgin...we got new router..so yea..2 more after that and it works..and..notetoself...LEAVE CABLE IN BACK ALONE..
My curiosity i thought guy said could remove it..so then..lost all channels..eventually phoned up..1st one..ughh...2nd time got it sorted..the usual call centre nuiscence..with 1st call..not understanding what issue..etc..but was glad when 2nd call person was very helpful..and uk based..
(not meaning to be or sound racist etc..just prefer when someone actually explains and sorts it..not just turn it off for abit) like years ago..reboot your router..router??...Our virgin box was the router.

Anyway..its a honey we shrunk the tivo box situation...was on top of bluray player..was big..heavy..
This one tiny..and u can use voice commands with remote.

And in i think shortly..gettin things ready..family stuff..that's all sayin

And of late..last friday found my local GAME in my town centre is closing down..the owner MIKE ASHLEY..the guy who doesn't care about the company..would u buy clothes from a clothes/shoe shop..and then go lets put a GAME inside it?

Yes he did..
Get rid of second hand games?
Yes he did

So yea i'm peeved at the friendly staff in my store losing their jobs...HE NEEDS TO SELL IT TO SOMEONE THAT CARES ABOUT GAME.

Annyway..been gaming..watching anime
Kumi kumi kumi bear s1 and 2 and reincarnated as a slime season 1..well watching em slowly.and one piece on bbc iplayer..

Been dealing with my depression been really hard..feel soo lonely..just want companionship..wishing someone was local..
And yea seen thunderbolts on fri..was good film.

And been playin oblivion remastered..enjoying it.

Squeak to ya l8r

T.F

Well..a few days later I got a pesky bug that's been going around..so yea..birthday..was still not well..managed to get out the Friday which was good..
Been dealing with an anoying pesky chesty cough..and runny nose since..so fun..

Still got it as I type this...
Anyway
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas/Holiday

From T.F

2 months..shesh
Went on my Spanish short break/restbite..that was good..weather was mostly nice..week we were back that storm hit...anyway wasn't sick..so that was good..one night they did a disney quiz..basically guess the film.
Simple eh..i thought one was a trick question..nope..Shrek..that's dreamworks..not disney..
Honestly..research.

Anyway while i was away..we got a new bathroom installed..they wanted shower..and got rid of bath..
Anyway its nice..

Not mutch to report...anniv of uncles death..then Halloween party..went ok..then anniv or grans death.

I got a fb saying wish this person who sadly passed away..months back..happy birthday..i. Still cant get over there gone..and my mood is up and down..so yea..

I did draw something for halloween its on my da..just my tiredness..depression..mood driving me mad.

The us election hasnt helped me any.
And how muskyrat tries to play annoy and amplify hate..those nights of troubles..he amplified it..and stop calling uk a tsar..stay out of our business..and other countries too.

I dont want to get into american politics..but when someone says we have all the votes..and thats before election day..and the chaos of postal voting fraud..the bomb scares..machines not working..think ep when homer voted and his vote automatically switched to trump..this is some of the crazy stuff i have been reading on x of all places..to sum it all up..IRREGULARITIES..MUSKY GOT RESULTS 4 HR BEFORE EVERYONE..DUE TO APP HE GOT MADE...STOLEN ELECTION..END OF...

Anyway away from all that.

Was at the sports club annual Christmas lunch at Dimaggios..we had the annual basketball shootout..it felt weird being in the universal connections hall..our sports club is in..and not having him enter into the hall..it kinda hit me..hes really gone..
Anyway days before..was my dads birthday..they went for a meal at central station hotel..was a voucher..given to then by the widow of the wife of our chairman..

I was asked at the party by one of the coaches what do i do in my spare time..you game don't you..yea and out a certain day with carer..it hits me hard..how lonely i feel..fact is if i meet someone..they need to drive.
I can't rely on our local transport.

Anyway to wrap this whole shpeel up.
Will be my birthday this week..on thurs..this Foxo is getting auld

Stay Squeeky

T.F

I dont really talk bout a sports club I used to go to..kinda stopped going for a year or more..I do still attend it sometimes..but not mutch..
I stopped going when parents said it was a choice and I didn't need to go..I am usualy tired when bsck on a Friday anyway..

Status I knew he was ill..but was not expecting the thurs to be told he is in hospitable care..
Friday was the annual weekend trip to a place we go every year..my dad went along..I didn't want to go..been there a few times..I only been going to club since it started..25 or so years..

Anyway was told He Passed Away on the Friday at 12pm (lunch time) surrounded by his family..
So yea..kinda was a sad time for us all..
They enjoyed it etc..and dad had a fall..on the Sunday.. he was carrying bedding etc..and missed a step..or somethin..he wanted to carry on..but they suggested he go to hospital for checkup..he decided to go to our local one..so he was driven there..he basically had bit of black eye..and some cuts n bruises..I was heading to my short break on Monday..so not good timing...anyway..hes OK..
Short break was ok..felt bit weird friend not bein there..

Was I ill?..yup..sick twice..maybe was my tablets I took..but was better after 2nd time next night..

Maybe don't gave full glass if pineapple heh..had a brain fart..couldn't remember pineapple and lemonade...

Anyway back to the chairman
His funeral was 2 weeks ago..he was in local paper..and earlier today..Herald..I think..

I have A Disability..and the sports club is a disability sports club..

And art wise etc..I havent done anything mutch..I need to change that

Mostly gaming, and watchn tv

Stay Squeeky

T.F

Thank you Dragoneer...
I am at loss to hear of your passing...
I might have never known you
But FA was and still is no1 on my fave sites..

Your loss In this community will hit hard..
I have been a lurker on here for a very long time
And other sites too bitd...

I only recently have started posting on here..
But as I have found out very lately..This site is more important..da was fine..but the ai..and nsfw art behind a paywal..makes me glad this site is here..

Thank You For Everything..
Alot of people will miss you..Your Big char grin as u loaded the home page...

Thank you For Everything
Rest In Piece..

In the words of Drako
TO THE STARS FRIENDS..TO THE STARS..

Most recent da entry March 17th

I received an awful text not long ago from someone i did not know..but was told about..if anything ever happened to them..this person would text me..I got the text..I always hoped never get..
The story is..I met this person years back..we spent time together..they were much older than me..was mainly companionship and friendship..bfya..was not underage when I first met them..when in my 30s..well alot happened during that time..they were there for me when i had my 1st anxiety attack..when parents were not around that week.
I then got diagnosed with anxiety and depression..going from someone who was fine to be left alone..to now having anxiety..and trying to cope with it..i take tabs for that and for my underactive thyroid.
Back to what this journal is about

This all stopped suddenly the last day I seen em..a few years back. pre covid pandemic.
This day they told me they have not been 100% but they didn't think it was anything serious to worry about.but i was definitely sure something was wrong..my gut was telling me they need to visit..could be nothing..but better safe than sorry.
I told em to go to hospital..so when I returned home off they went..they were kept in..that was the last I seen em..stroke and possibly heart attack..we kept in contact on text etc..last reply was when I was telling em about cruise we were going on...

Well this text I got was telling me they were in hospital and they are dying..that I should visit ASAP to say my goodbyes...I went asap..got parents to take me to the hospital..I seen em..they looked awful..but this was first time I'd seen em in years..we talked till they were tired and i said my goodbyes..that was the hardest thing I ever have done in my life..parents were waiting outside in hall..

Earlier this week..Wednesday got text telling me they have passed away...

I..I kept this private and only a select few people I know knew told them about this person..

Look ok..we snuggled together, they'd take me for a subway etc..get me vouchers at christmas etc..I cared about them..and they cared about me..and now they're gone....


We just cuddled..nothin more..and was nice..


My friend/companion is gone....

😢😥

Since on xbox at mo...gonna update with some journel's..oldest to very recent

Posted Jan 8th on My da

So..was on a cruise with parents and friends family most of December.
Was nice, seeing different places, but how everything was like buy this..on the ship radio..holiday news update, get a drink package..order this etc..that's not what an update is to me..anywho. Top bunks are Evil..esp when a ladder detaches with you on it..thump..oww..luckily no serious injuries..just awful bruises n cuts..but yea..Also was my birthday when was on cruise..got a birthday card from the captain..and those lovely truffles too..
The day we headed home on bus..I have no clue what happened..think my back gave way..its ok now..I had to take 2 paracetamol for pain..almost passed out due to pain..honestly..I passed out due to shock when I fell off the ladders and landed in an awkward position

Christmas..
It was ok, sis and her hubby were round with the dog, I previously bought things during the year..knowing won't be easy getting things, I got things before cruise..so sorted everything..
Got some nice presents, a lovely framed picture sis drew for me..and a studio ghibli mural, and Spirited Away poster and godzilla monster wars poster, and the Japanese wave..cant remember it's name, got a duvet of it..so pretty cool..now I can get rid of Cartman..hes been on my wall long enough..I'm talking old stool south park poster..buffy staying put..yup anyway.

Got dentist later..and some followup hospital checkups..now having that monitor to wear for few days..and either a mri scan or that tube one u go in..choices..just cause been 2 years since checkup..they love to study me lol..if only that was a joke..you didn't get your wish leister..anyways the stories u hear of what they wanted to happen...

New year

Just usual..watch the tv for bells etc
Had sis round following day..oh and yea did catch up on all the doc who stuff and ghosts..

So went on holiday to blackpool for few days, recon had bit of a bug, had trouble sleepin night before i left, and as usual, was sick afew times..why i get sick i do not know..then recently went to weston super mare on a coach trip with my dad..that was fine..was not ill one bit..which is good,
And most times i am either gaming or watching tv, or blu or dvd etc..but do need to start drawin n writing more..

And whats this crazy december stuff?..well lets just say from 1st i wont have net access..should have net before week near christmas i think..

So yup..wont be available from 1st..inc my bday, 🛳..oops accidently put a boat emoji..no way that is implying anythin. Honest

And after watchin that programe on Channel 4 with Rosie Jones Am I Re***ded..feck it..I stopped posting my art etc cause I cant draw well, just cause im disABLED..doesnt mean i dont try my best..so ya know what..ENOUGH. why should i feel i have to be insulted about how i draw..Maybe comments on here..or somewhere else who knows.. but if you are A person And Not Ai do what you love, write, draw, dont be put down by the negative comments you get, creative ones ok, help them, but negstive ones like u draw like a 5yr old aint nice..u dont know the person irl, u dont jnow their situation etc, how hard they tried etc

Anyways yea..Ableism And Disablism is awful..

Christmas was ok, nice spending time with sis and husband, sad how only last year she ate a meal, now struggling to even swallow food..we hsve no idea whats causing it..
Anyway Since sesspool that sadly is twitter, thanks to PsycoMusk..this Ai is out of hand, ai pics on twit, etc, da has that too, thank god for fa and some others, Ai to chat with..fine, ai to write stories, or draw..Hell No..artists work or writers are in danger, heck even people were fooled by a ai pic of pope wearing bling..
We need to be careful, ai can be dangerous,
Yea cyberdyne may be a scifi fantasy, but it is scary enough reality..
I am 100% Against AI That can draw or write..
Oh and This war on Adult content is just stupid, yes a atatue is naked, get over it..
And NSFW is actually a daft anogram..try explain it to parents why its important..u would get reply why would u look at it at work..thats a very good point..Mature Is more sensable..and Adult if u want to..

Anyway off i go again back to
My current state of lonelyness And Dep..its been beating me up badly as of late..the lonelyness is hard..and not like i coulf just go out..

Not mutch been goin on, gaming, sleepin, watching anime etc, but bday comin up tomorrow, Mon 12th, foxie is getting auld,

Take care

Anyway bitd when the tf community was young, when you had tfseekers, tfboard, tfcentral,and a few sites that are still relatively around now, back then there was no patreon etc, no paywall as bad as it is now. Now i understand artists do need money, and sites like that csn be a godsend, sadly it feels like the Community is at a situation where if u can't pay u dont get into the exclusive club..yea may be $5 or even 2..but from how i feel the exclusivity hurts the fans who cant afford I'm sorry, this has irked me for a very long time, and i would love comments down below if u think what im saying is right or not. I would love to see artists on patreon etc decide to post them to their fa etc, after certain mount of days, heck or weeks. So example u pop onto (insertartisthere) and they let u know that this months premium view time etc is now public. To me that seems fair, you still have loyal fans, who now would feel no longer left out of the Exclusive club. Sorry i hope i havent upset anyone with this idea

Well since covid been around, i have avoided getting it, had one close call year or so, was neg
On Sunday was not feeling 100%
Monday did test, came back positive
So yea, been dealing with it ever since, pesky cold symtoms etc,

Jeez been awhile since i posted A Journal
So um yea were in April of 2022

Whats been happening,?
Not mutch really, decided to get a pc for Christmas, so this a new exp, havin a pc of myown, and big monitor,
My ol tv decded to wait after christmas, only month or so maybe March, to go kaput, we have some tvs lyin around from passed on relatives, and ironically the 32 inch i found is same make i had, the sound comin from back kinda anoying, but we disabled, and autistics can find change hard, so yea takin bit of gettin used to,

Life wise, i did buy the blu ray coll edit of Eva, if u want to know my review, Buy the platnum dvd boxset, sure u get orig dub in col blu ray, but no fly me to the moon, or rant, exactly same as norm blu ray one, u get death and end of eva so thats a bonus, but even booklet is way better in platnum dvd,

Yea blame Alltheanime for the temptations, and theyre not exactly cheap,

But part from gaming, and replacing a ext hd drive very recently on xbox

And Fighting my dang Depression as i type this too, it makes me feel tired more than norm, things kinda gettin back to some form of normality, mask rules around, but not for long, our advice here in bonnie scot, is precautions, if ur in crowded area, etc, A sensable way of dealing with it i'd say

And Take care and Stay Squeeky

T.F

Oh the amazing thing i got for christmas?
a ser X..yup..one day i asked if they had any in..none..then remembered a customer canceled their order it was in back..was a there and then deal..the staff knew me well..so sold me it..knowing it would go to a good home..and local one at that heh..
That was one weird day heh..next friday i brought them a wee gift..some boxes of chocolates as a thank you.

Not mutch been going on cept one of my sis cats died
..went for a wee run to troon last week in the car..as restrictions eased..non essential shops open on monday yay..
Got my 1st dose of the vaxine as well while back..just waiting on second one.

Last few days..was not well on sunday..monday..my s7 died..earlier wed 21st april 2021..part of my big chipped tooth came out..
Had no choice but to order a new phone..i did everything i could to save it..but short circuited.

But thats mostly it do far


Take care..stay safe

Yup..well it just happened on friday at 6pm..
Till 11 Dec..oh fun..day before my bday

But yea fri the 13th..was a great day..got something was looking for..and was litterly unbelievable how i got thing..but yea..u have gotta wait till Christmas till i tell u

But yea..part from Now lockdown..my rp group back up n virtually running..

Take care..be safe

Hearing how whole of england in a full on lockdown..aint nice..Where i am we were almost on the lockdown too..was very very very very close to a lockdown for Lanarkshire..now since eng in lockdown..ours talking bout we could have one too..

Remember reason why..Its not some Conspiracy to make everyone wear nasks..muzzling us..or that Lockdown is breach of your human rites..and illegal..nla bla...
Its to stop THE SPREAD OF A VIRUS AND TO STOP THE STRAIN ON OUR NHS..

It makes me angry seeing people not social distencing..getting drunk..partying etc..and NOT WEARING THEIR MASK..unless you are exempt..

But obey the rules no matter how cheezy it sounds.

Each nation is habdling it their own way
Own slogans etc..like ours F.A.C.T.S
And now tiers..0-4..here..4 is highest..as was classed as a lockdown..

No matter where u are STAY SAFE..BE STRONG..

T.F

Yup..tis been a hell of a weird year
From Lockdown to mandatory Masks on public transport and shops

To doing jigsaws and playing animal crossing new horizons daily
From going from a busy week routine to..Nil
I was out on a tues for a while..esp during lockdown..
Now back to some sort of normality..whatever that is
Out once a week..
Oh and have been to the cinema..seen Tenet..and few days ago bill and tedd face the music with a friend who i used to see on a tues..till covi

I'm hanging in there..some good days..some bad..the companionship bit getting to me..and the stuff i hear from the us too..ughh

Stay safe
Wash ur paws..and most importantly
Stay Squeeky

I have been trying to buy pvc catsuits
But 80% its always for female

Reason being it is tricky buying one for a male..
Yes you can get them for a good price
But why can't u not get one for a male as easily?..if someone made them for a male too..i would def buy em

Been playing lots of animal crossing new horizons and Looking for friends to play animal crossing new horizons with
Friend code SW-5155-9462-6906
Name Shinji

And part from that

Quarintine still
Status update
Been out for a walk once a week..just somewhere local..non shop related or cinema etc..

Been out clapping on the both thursdays for nhs and social workers

Its a weird world currently
But stay strong..stay safe

T.F

Yea its been a crazy few weeks and months
Whole of uk is on lockdown
And im quarintined by parents cause of my health..

No cinema..libary shops..unless u need food obv

All my days i was out stopped..its surreal
Not being out like everyone else
But yea we all gotta be strong

Take care and stay well wherever you are

Its now been about a year since we lost them..missing them lots.

Been doing my usual weekly routines
And yea still gaming on xbox and switch
And tiny bit laptop

Phone battery decided to say Replace me
By Expanding and pushing out phone..luckily no damage just needed new battery and had to be wiped

Falily wise the great granny clearout still goes on updating etc the house

Furry wise not alot happening..foxie wants to get worn..but having fam home 24/7
Etc stopps it..and time it takes..(i do have a disability as well..kinda hidden disability)

Been on holiday this year so was nice.


Always never gonna give up on pvc suits..esp puffy pvc suit..mm
Even rubbery ones..if its a critter its nice.
This kinda an update as noticed not updated in long time
Stay Squeeky
T.F

Well tuesdays funeral was a nice sendoff
Cept for the person putting on a fake over the top cry
(We know who did it..no one fell for it)
Anyway that was ok..then back in limo for a meal at a hotel
Then later we drove home..i stayed at my sis's for abit as parents were driving people back far abit of a distance away..mainly they didn't want me to be alone

Idknt normally falk bout my disabilities and med issues
Lefs just say
Anxiety and depression is some things

I have been struggling coping with these unexpected family grievances
Thought was coping ok..but yea..

Anyways tuesday 12th was my bday
Yay me..

Kinda waited later on when home to open grans card..as it would be a hard one to read
(She wrote it before she passed away)
Was very emotional inside..lots and lots of love always..😢 still get tears when reading it
Fact she wrote always is it felt like she knew..she never says always on em
So yea...

Maybe i should start drawing again n writing
Still play xbox..
I really should start uploading my stuff..and not get put off by negative things

Anyway

Everyone Take care..and spend as mutch time with ur loved ones

T.F

Was away on holiday..to benedorm..sis behind as usual..keeping eye on things
Parents away too we knew he was in hospital..but no idea how bad he was sadly..till the monday..
29th october..my uncle died
He was taken in for fluid in the lungs was what we thought recovering after the op..we had no idea he would die...he had pancreatic cancer..thats what got him in the end...
Gran had power cut..so no oxygen..they came and eventually got her to hospital..sis went to see her every day she was in..was serious anyway..
She eventually got discharged..then few days ago she got taken in.
Days pass we visit etc then..

I came home friday 23rd Nov 2018
Didnt find out my gran had died till parents..sis and her husband came home..and told me gran had passed away..she closed her eyes..and went..


So yea.. with holidays and death's in the family..fun and not so fun
London was ok..until went to harry potter experience..a heck of a long journey..i made it abit..till i was sick..but was for one day..


It's been pretty hard to take it in..especially with the previous one..recently
Coping best i can i guess