So.... I'm having breakfast with  lyonlover and the make your own waffle iron was in the shape of Texas. He got his waffle sat down across from me and in the process of making it edible with butter and syrup, he asked me "So...where is Dallas?" Me being a goofball and all said "move your knife up a bit....to the left....and there" then he asked where in relation to Houston it was and I told him go down.....and a bit to the right. So then he goes "Oh...so Dallas and Houston are relatively close together?" I did a head desk and said NOOOOOO. He laughed and said "Your Texas waffle geography sucks" to which I defended myself saying " ITS UPSIDE DOWN!!!! " to which the smartass lion goes "Fine,...your upside down Texas waffle geography sucks" Which.... became my quote of the day.

"Fine....your upside down Texas waffle geography sucks"
-  lyonlover

Cheers,
Sabian IV

Howdy!

Okay, so i'm bored and my friend comes up to me and goes "Hey I want you to come with me to Navasota tonight for something special to me." Me,...with my lion stomach is like...friggin' yeah! birthday cake and ice cream lets go!!!! I was mistaken. I showed up and saw all these people that I didn't know and some that I did. We had dinner which was a wonderful meatloaf and mashed potatoes that went into the lions void pit of a stomach but it just wasn't quite as satisfying as birthday cake and ice cream.

Moving on.... So we finish dinner and I learn I just had dinner with the "Tribe" which is a paganistic term for family. (if i get my terms wrong i'm sorry dont get mad at me or correct me, imagine a native american explaining Jewish faith. So deal with it, i'm an ignorant christian, hush or I will conquer you and make you believe that i'm right cause I am!....jk jk) Anyways, so I meet the "Tribe" and the elder of the tribe welcomes me and then we sit down and begin what my friend calls "Class" Which in my eyes.... was a terrible waste of time cause i felt like I was back in a prayer group, mixed in with a little bit of group therapy. But I soon learned what was going on were the teachings of "The Fourth Way" google it and wiki it. It's just a different way of developing personal growth though a different way of things.

Next, there were two somewhat newbies there other then me, which they were there cause they wanted to be in the group I was there, cause I was expecting birthday cake. I will suffer no nerdyness when I say..."the cake is a lie" so again moving on, the newbies wanted to have a "Drum Circle" which consisted of a fire being lit and us all recieving some type of percussion instrument, I got a tamboreen yay? Anyways, then we were supposed to play the rythym in our heart and chant native american like. Those were seriously the instructions I got. So...while this is being done i'm noticing the Tribal Elder stuffing a wooden native american looking pipe with something and then she lights it. We all go quiet, and she starts "Grandmother of the West, where we all most go" another round of chanting/druming, then quiet "Grandmother of the North...." etc etc all 4 grandma's, then Great Grandmother of the Earth, and then Great Grandfather of the sky.... was quite interesting but I just had this nagging person inside my head that was rolling his eyes. I couldn't help myself... and then the pipe was passed around and I took a touch of it half expecting a bit of the Ganja mon, thankfully it was just some bit of tobacco. So the pipe goes around gets a lil chilly for the tribal elder. Then we're told how the fire is a "Sacred Fire" and someone has to watch it till it goes out. I was like......great. Though wasn't that bad things kinda lightened up after that and it was more what I'm used to sitting around a campfire.

Anyways I'm writing this to you now to explain my observances. I'm not sure if I'll go back, due to they kept trying to sell me this "The Fourth Way" which I have to tell them no thanks i'm fine with my own way of personal growth with Christianity. I'm also writing this to keep my mind off of thinking about my grandfather. As I type my dad has sent the plane to come and get me and take me home to Abilene so that I can say goodbye before he passes away, as they don't think he will make it to next weekend.

Cheers and Good Hopes,

Sabian IV

Howdy!

Well, my apartment has an apparent lack of real plants. I'm debating getting a bonsai tree. Not sure if I will or what kind, cause the only spot I know that sells them around here is an old guy with a tan van marked "BONSAI" so we'll see how that turns out. Anyone who has had one.... are they very difficult to keep alive? Keep Alive and Take Care Of are two different things, I know they're difficult to take care of. But I need it to stay alive so that i can take care of it. Anyways.... as one of my friends so thought to point out.... that bonsai growing required "feeling" and I told him I was always bad with "feeling" he began to explain to me a funny vision he saw in his head. A lion being covered in bonsai leaves holding the prunes, and a very naked tree in a pot.... I did have to sorta chuckle at that. So who's in support of lion buying a bonsai tree?

Sabian IV

Howdy!

Well, here it is again Furry Fiesta! I'm getting packed slowly but having to study for an exam tomorrow is being annoying. I'm really not looking forward to this exam. Anyways i'm going to try and have my bag packed so as soon as 5:30pm rolls around BOOM i'm out the door and in my truck driving to Addison! I'm going Thursday night so hopefully I'll find some cool people to go out and hang out with. I'm wanting to do more then just lounge at the hotel thursday night, I wanna go do something fun or adventurous. I hope to meet up with alot of friends that I haven't seen in forever, so please do leave a message here, or get in contact with me tonight so I can make sure to look for you or contact you at the Convention. I've got quite the shopping list for some books and as most of you know anything with lions..... I hope there are alot of them. I'll be going to the charity auction, the art show hopefully there will be some good pieces in there, I'll be at most if not all of Kyell Gold's panels. I'm looking forward to Sub Level 3's concert. Well, that's whats up give me a hollar! I will be fursuiting in my white cougar so don't forget to wave say hi and get a hug!

Sabian IV

I WANT A FUCKING GOD DAMNED BOYFRIEND! IN THIS STATE THAT IS CLOSE TO ME! YES I HAVE SOME STANDARDS BUT NOT TO MANY JUST IMPORTANT ONES!.... I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAS TO BE SO FUCKING GOD DAMNED HARD.

That's my rant, type ONE comment of "Stop Looking", or... "there's always someoen there for you", or "it's out there just wait" I will go insane on commenting. Cause I've DONE all that stuff, it's not worked just like all the rest hasn't worked, what you're saying is a disversionary tactic meant for the other to go "yeah I guess" well I ain't fuckin' doin that this time dammit.

Yes I'm mad, i'm pissed, i'm not quite sure what i'm fucking doing wrong here. Of if to find someone to be with I have to be truly unhappy with the asshole that I get stuck with. This is a Rant, and not a discussion. Do Not Post ANY Comment here. This is one of those..."write out what you feel" pieces of bullshit thats supposed to make you feel better. I hope it works but so far no go. Yes i'm a very negative person.


Sabian IV

Disconnected is how I feel as of late. Disconnected from furry interaction. While at any other stage of my life I'd be patting myself on the back and going congratulations. I find at this point it bothers me to the degree that i'm disassociated from the fandom. While yes, I do have a pounced page, furry xtreme page, as well as my FA page, I've barely posted art. But what I mean is actual personal interaction offline. Most would attribute this to saying how there aren't any furs in their area while this is not so with me.

I attribute this to perhaps my own downfall with my University and last semesters last hope for a return to normalacy. That has happend, i'm fully back into Texas A&M and off probation and all of that, by just mere gradepoints. I threw away most everything over last spring and summer and last fall to fix my position. It got more extreme last fall when i would do without. I also attribute it to my own fall of being extremely judgemental of people. I tend to look down on people with certain attributes and disassociate myself from them if they are not of a certain level. This is perhaps one of my biggest personality flaws.

To further this rift, I have found a bdsm group, while i'm the ONLY gay guy there so it's not like I'm actually getting sex, hell i went to a meet last night and couldn't even find someone to help me practice my knots because no male there was sexually secure enough to practice being tied or tying up a guy. I had to laugh. While this group is not accepting of furs they are accepting of me, and its a local group..... so I don't have to drive over an hour to hang with others. So they've become a nice social part of my life.

Another problem is the furs that I hang out with aren't in this town so much. They are in Houston, San Antonio, and....although few...Austin. I typically don't go to the Austin meets because i'm self conscious I suppose, i just don't know many in Austin and am hesistant to go to a meet there. But with Houston I just have to drive there.

Mainly is the problem that I don't really just KNOW and have best friend furs in Houston that are around my own age. I also find many I just don't care to be around. I know that's a terrible thing to say but I just haven't found any people that i just completely totally want to always be around. Again, terrible thing to complain about being disconnected but not want to be around people isn't it?

I suppose what brought this on, is the fact that my true best fur friend, got a boyfriend not to long ago, not to mention a local boyfriend, and ....i've noticed he hardly ever talks to me as much as he used to, when I'd call him we'd talk for long periods of time,.... now he's always busy or hanging out with other furs, I actually discussed with him today and he had to actually "schedule" me into his social life. I've also heard of things that he's going and doing and people he's hanging out with, and it truly does sadden me that I have lost that connection that I used to have with furrys.

So anyone in the Texas area that is having some type of furry get together give me a hollar I want to recover my lost furry social life. Which isn't a send me IM's....i'm truly wanting interaction offline.

Confused and a bit lost,

Sabian

Howdy!!!!

Alright all, after months of debate.....I've decided to completely switch to a lion. Here's hoping that it goes well and I wont have to deal with this wishy washy feeling of am I or aren't I. Also, as my furname and real name sound the same, but spelt different Kody/Cody. To many people mistype it, and I wish to disassociate myself with my real name. I've been trying to figure out a name, I'm wanting something Old Wolrd,....latin, roman, however those of you that know of my religious fetish type thing will understand when I sorta want to take a pope name. However, I have really found something thats awesome, while looking at Sixtus, Aurelius, and Adrian....I came up with the name Sabian, and to throw in an extra lil bit of religious flare but 'the IV' with it, so "Sabian the IV" I personaly think it sounds cool. Though i'm still unsure and wondering how well, the populous will take to the name switch from Kody to Sabian.

In other news, along with the religions flare, I believe my next badge will be sort of a copy of this, http://s214.photobucket.com/albums/.....t=Wolsey_C.gif with me as a lion instead of the human, and underneath will be "Sabian the IV" I think it's an awesome Idea and just need to find an artist to do it.

Well, i guess thats all.

Sabian the IV

Social Norm Violation Project

I went to the McDonalds fast food restaurant on University Drive and while I was there I ordered a #8 Value meal. This meal consists of a Southern Style Chicken burger, which has pickles on it, the meal comes with fries and a drink. However, when I ordered this particular meal I requested that the pickles and meat be left off, that I wanted to large size the fries and the drink, as well as I did not wish to have any fries.

At first I believe I spoke to fast because the person at the register had to look at me and then ask me to re order, though it may be because this order sounded entirely ridiculous. I once again ordered the chicken burger with no meat or pickles, so that it would be just the bun. That I also wanted to large size the fries and drink, but that I wished to not have any fries. At this the register who was a young male perhaps 20 to 24 years of age, looked at me to see if I was serious. I looked him straight in the eye and tried very hard to keep from laughing, as I felt completely and utterly ridiculous.

At this moment, three young college girls walked up behind me, as my register was the only register open and running at this time. The guy at the register believed I was being serious with him and he began to ring up the order repeating to me what I had ordered. While he was doing this he asked if I just wanted the meat and bread? To which I told him no, I want the burger without the meat and pickles. He asked me again, if I just wanted the bread and pickles? I said to him no that I wanted the burger with the meat and pickles removed. '

My legs were shaking at this point as I just felt completely awkward and he was looking at me like I was drunk, on drugs, or just plain crazy. It was also at this point I noticed the girls had stopped discussing amongst each other and were just staring at me. So then came from the man at the register, “Are you sure you just want the bun and a coke? Cause you’ll seriously be over paying for just the sandwich and the coke.” I told him that I didn’t wish to pay for just the sandwich and drink separately that I wished to pay for the entire value meal. He began to argue with me that I was over paying, and after a few times of me insisting that I pay full price, he went to the back to instruct the cooks that I just wanted the bun.

When he came out an assistant manager was with him, who informed him not to charge me for anything but the coke because the bread was free. Upon which I got to have the discussion with the Assistant Manager that money was not a problem and I insisted that I pay the full price for the value meal. I couldn’t help but noticed behind me the girls were getting a bit impatient as one was sighing and another I could see from the corner of my eye was talking on her cell phone off to the side. By this time, I was feeling a little more relaxed from the repetition which made me want to smile but I didn’t. The guy at the register and the Assistant Manager both were giving me strange looks and rubbing their hands through their hair and rubbing their faces. I don’t know if I was visibly shaking at this point or not but my legs felt like they were shaking terribly and my face felt like it was burning.

Finally the guy at the register just shook his head and said alright and charged me the full price and handed me my meal. I took it and walked out of the place, as I did so I could hear one of the girls whisper to the guy at the register, but couldn’t make out what she said.

The guy at the register did not react quite the way that I thought he would, I believed he would turn me away as a drunken hoax, but he didn’t. Then when I told him I wished to pay the full amount of the value meal for just the bread and coke, I did not believe that he would actually accept my request. I believed I was going to be asked to leave when the assistant manager came out as well, but he allowed me to make my purchase. Both of them were a little bewildered but otherwise very professional.


This was absolutely very difficult for me to do as I am not anywhere near that type of person that would do something stupid like this and this is not the type of actions I like to do to get attention to myself. Well, it's done now and I feel like an idiot, now to cover this incident up with alcohol. Thank you and good night.

Kody

Howdy!

Well, I just was watching "The Skeleton Key" it's probably one of my fav movies, I gotta buy it sometime. Well I also saw Paranormal Activity, thursday night and have not been able to sleep till dawn since them, I know I know, i's a scaredy kat. But got me thinking,....where the hell do you buy this stuff? Spell books? powders? How To books? I mean..... wow? I dont' really want to believe in the other stuff, and usually laugh or go "OOOOOKAY" to people who do and rant about it. But if I truly didn't believe I wouldn't be such a scaredy kat.

Kody

*lights candles and makes chalk markings, and pours brick dust*

Howdy!

So yeah....I went to my Political Theory class, where my professor Dr. Nederman is quite a famous guy in Political Theory. Well, I went into class today and well wouldn't you know, today we're watching "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" through which my proffessor, who is the same professor who hopped across the room saying how much he loved Kangaroos, began to start explaining the way Monty Python compares Medieval Political theory with Modern Political thought. It was amazing as I never really took this movie THAT seriously, but starting to think of it as an examination of medieval politics .....it's amazing how much SENSE! it makes. My poor friends will never wanna watch this movie with me again as I can already see it "Ahhh, you see? the peasant is pointing out that of course the king isn't the king unless he is recognized as such, and as they didn't vote for him, he's deemed by god.....etc etc etc" hahaha, and of course going by Machieovelli's statements of one can't be King unless he has the military might and force to back up that claim........LAWL. Its just so hilarious how that movie has so much more meaning to me now othe then just a hilarious wonderment of British Comedy.

Kody

..... you are walking around in the darkness of a dripping wet cold moss covered cave. You're covered in scrapes, bandaged bleeding cuts, dirt all in your fur, stinking of sweat...... You soon find yourself staring at a beautiful diamond, it's not that big or that prystine, but its YOUR diamond... You start to feel better, perhaps even clean up a bit in a pool of water, you carry your diamond with you everywhere, infact you put it in your pocket close to your heart.... One day you pull it out, you realize your cuts and scrapes are healing, that you werent as miserable as you were on earlier days in the cave.... Not to soon after, you're smiling at your diamond turning it when it slips from your paw and plumets returning to the darkness from where you had found it...

Thats life and that's it's trials, *puts candle out* Fuck Life

(not any drama, this a journal of my own personal reflection, at the moment)

Well,...I'm home at my parents for a week visiting. I've already heard the wonderful voices of angels sing as I open up the fridge and go "fully.....stocked......fridge" and then proceed to raid it and eat my fill. So, another thing about visiting the parents is that my momma, yes I call her momma cause i luvs her, cooks me dinner. However, sometimes it's not always what I want to eat. Which inspired this bit of convo between me and my buddy  granitethewolf

texas.cougar: *noms my salad trying to figure out why herbivores like this stuff so much*
granite: *twists his nose at the sight of the ucky salad*
texas.cougar: i aggree....
texas.cougar: *burrys the lettuce with ham cubes, bacon bits, and italian dressing*
texas.cougar: NOM NOM NOM
granite: LOL salad is no longer in the healthy book
texas.cougar: muwhahahahaha!

Behold the truth about salads!!! YOU ALL DO IT I KNOW YOU DO!!!!!!!! Don't judge me!

Kody, The White Cougar aka your local Rent-a-Cat

Okay, So.... I can't sleep at all. I get on my computer and watch some online prof lectures so I can get ahead of studying today for my exam tomorrow. Also so I can take a nap this afternoon. When low and behold,... I get an IM. It's from a guy I was formerly interested in, and have met a few times, and encountered in a couple of sexual type situations. Now, the funny part of this is, I had already deleted him from my IM list cause if I don't like a person I delete them off of it so I don't have to see that they're online. Reasons for his deletion being, he told me he didn't like hanging with 90% of the Houston furs anymore, he wanted to be alone and be a rogue, and then just the other day professed how he wanted to just die because he life was so bad. I lifted a beer and told him Cheers! Best of Luck with that! Cause that's just how I act with those people.

Okay, so....I let him ramble on bout how he doesn't wanna be his fursona any more, and he shoots ideas back at me, and I'm just like sure whatever, cause I really don't give a damn. Now, before, he had said the reason we didn't get together is because I wouldn't drive up to him there in Houston, cause he had told me he would NOT make the 1 1/2 hour drive to me. To which I told him that was not a relationship blah blah, ya'll know the details. So he blamed me for the reason we weren't together. Even though he'd get on IM and confess his love and lust for me, which after 2 times of being fooled I learned what was going on, he just wanted someone to believe him cause hardly anyone else would. Cause he doesn't accept responcibility for himself.

Anyways we keep talking and finally we got on the subject of reputations, and he tells me that lots of people don't like me and that they spread pretty nasty things about me and tales of my exploits. This is honestly nothing new to me, I used to be wild, dirty, and raunchy and would sleep with anything that wanted to fuck. But, I'm different now and don't just hop into bed with anyone even if they do look like adonis. And I honestly do get alotta shit from my friends for it,...I get teased and all kinds of stuff. So, I wonder why he's even bothering me with this. And he's always quick to say "i'm not gonna tell you who says it" mostly cause that's the excuse for "I made it up" Hahaha. So, I'm all like "So you're telling me this to make me paranoid?" He can't really give me an explanation for why he was telling me this. He continues on to say even some of my "friends" talk about me like that. I'm like...uh huh? so what makes you think they're my friends? He continues on how I call them my friends. If you're the ones talking about me and I call you my friend.....say it to my face? Or tell it to someone that's not gonna be a cheap ass bastard about telling me they "know stuff" hahaha.

Funny thing is, this guy is one to be talking. He's had to change his furname and specie MANY differen't times because of all the drama and shit that he causes. To which I remind him and he explicitly tells me "and lots of people are just followers that'll believe anything their friends say" i accuse him of doing the same thing but....evidently it doesn't apply to him, cause the people he's 'following' arent' his friends. Which is really funny how soon those people come and go for him, as just a month ago he LOVED the Houston furs, and was a PROFESSION FURRY (which caused me MANY laughs when he announced that) but now, liked stated above he didn't want to hang with 90% of them.

Okay to further say about the relationship above, I tried dating last year,...after august not sure exactly when this date was with him, but basically I was just fooling myself thinking I wanted to date when I just wanted more sex with a closer bond. Well he gets here, we have dinner, I fuck him once, and send him packing. Yes it was mean cruel, but that's how I was back then. Well, months later we talk a bit more, I kinda like him a bit more cause i was less about the sex more about wanting a boyfriend,...but then he goes and pulls shit telling me how much he likes me, then when we meet up at furmeets,... not so open about it. Well, after he did that a few times I wisened up and took the scritches when i could but didn't loose sleep when I got no hug. Then like i said before he tells me it was MY fault we didn't get together. I've talked with an old flame of his and got the same story just different vers from him and me and the buddy chuckled at how funny this guy was. Well this morning while I was talking.....he announced to me, how he'd NEVER wanted me, and I had never had a chance cause he was never INTERESTED in me. Which is funny as hell cause I'm sorry it wasn't my imagination at those 3am IM talks of "I love you, I want to be with you, I want you in my arms" came up.

So, like every sensible person does, I blocked him and am not putting up with that annoyance anymore. Which will be extremely funny at the next fur event that he may/may not be there because I'm sure he'll make it all out like I'M the one that's going to call him names, beat him, or other horrendous crimes that I'd never do. I'm not the one that starts shit.....I'm the one that finishes it. So,....as this would seem a "I'm pissed cause i didn't get a boyfriend" It ain't. It's the...."Omfg, i'm tired of this behavior from people in the fandom" to quote myself...HURRAY FOR THE EGO..... "It's Pointless, Useless, and a I just don't give a Damn"

Thank you for reading this if you did. If you didn't quit once you read the first paragraph.....well, you probably like drama and hearing about it, so go watch your SOAP OPERA. Or you're just a devoted fan which I thank you for and commend you for being a fan to a completly rude jackass of a person which is me!!! If you ever watch HOUSE MD,....I like to think of myself like him and strive to be like him in my everyday life,....without the limp of course. But the cane is pimpin'

Kody, The White Cougar aka Your Local Rent-a-Cat

P.S. Any furs wanna guess who this guy is go right ahead and comment, I will tell you yes or no. Sadly I don't believe many of you know this bastard, so....I will get no support from people who actually have to deal with him.

Howdy,

Well, there is now a job opening at the security company for some poor fool who really needs a job and gets stuck working for these idiots. Any of you who have read my journals know how they've been jerking me around. I just am unable to continue working for them any longer. It’s mostly a matter of I never know what to expect anymore.

I have been posted at Chemical Manufacturing Plant for my entire length of time with the company. I was told it would be looked into for me to start training at the Mansion. This did not even get talked about afterwards not even a reason as to why I wasn’t getting to start training on it. I was discussed with getting different hours along with the Adam’s Mansion posting, this again was never done as well as never discussed why I didn’t receive the better hours.

I do understand that I am a college student and with such a schedule that I was mainly only available to do certain shifts. However, I ended my spring semester and informed the office of my availability, I was able to work ANY shift and requested that I not work Saturday and Sunday, and work during the week. I said that I would be fine doing Saturday and Sunday if that was all that was available but that I needed more shifts during the week as well. This was ignored basically, when I went to pick up my schedule I only had two shifts and on Saturday and Sunday. I had a set amount of money I needed, so I contacted another employer and began discussing job opportunities. I was contacted by the scheduling officer, as he seemed to realize I was not happy with only two shifts. I informed him I would be quitting if I did not receive extra hours. The so called ‘extra hours’ was a single 6 hour shift on a Friday. I would be sitting during the rest of the work week doing nothing when I was overly eager to work. I reluctantly agreed to the extra hours on Friday, but was contacted and offered 11:30pm – 7:30am on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I agreed to this informing of my unavailability as soon as June 1st began.

So, I was basically sitting doing nothing for a whole week then being put on shifts for days that I had specifically listed as not wishing to work and ONLY getting those days. I would be given a schedule and said this would be permanent, then called to be given another schedule in not even a different week and told it’s permanent. However, when I was free for two weeks to work any shift and only given those two shifts the excuse was the scheduled needed to remain unchanged, to remain permanent, to not change it around two weeks later, when I was unavailable, when I don’t believe I’ve ever been given a permanent schedule that lasted more then 2 weeks.

Another issue, is the license for being a security guard, I was never informed when I need to take the test for it, nor where online the test is, nor what I needed to know for this test. I was hoping to receive this license and be able to work security at another city when it was time for me to move elsewhere. As well as, I remembered from talking with you that I needed to go down to the police station and be fingerprinted, I was again never informed what I needed to do exactly to go and get that done, nor who to inform.

Well, I finally just couldn't take the rediculousness anymore. I went in today and both the scheduling officer and boss were there. So I looked at my schedule, they'd had it interferring with my classes on June 1st, which I had told them more then once I couldn't work it. I told them I couldn't do it, they asked me to do it just this "One" time, which.... if they'd not fucked up in the past, I would've done it. However, I told them give me another shift or drop that one or I quit, they said they couldn't. I said okay, went out to my truck got my uniform and gave it back to them, making sure to remove my name plate that I had to pay for.

The Boss didn't exactly take this well, i'm afraid. I told them I quit, the guy was like......"Don't ask for a reference, don't ask or anything, don't ask to come back to work in 6 months, in fact don't even mention you worked for me." I replied that that wouldn't be a problem. I was a bit shocked that he would be this balistic, though thinking about him now after the fact I wonder how I didn't think to expect it. He continued "Those that have done me right, I give wonderful awesome references, those like you, who do me wrong, I make sure get nothing and are known as the scum of the earth like they truly are. Cause if you do this to me, you'll do it to them, and it'll always be in the back of your mind, and this stuff has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass." You know I was doing pretty good of going, I'm sorry, I apologize till around there, then was like I don't have to take this, and I walked out the door and smiled all the way to the bank, glad I inconvenienced them and cashed my last paycheck. Again I was shocked with this behavior from a professional. I had written him up a proffessional letting stating why I was quitting and had had every intention of giving it to him until his little episode, and his unprofessionalism had me rethink how professional i wanted to be with him. Also, haha, the boss's speech kinda lost it's sting when he never called me the right name in it at all, the schedule officer had to keep telling him my name.

So at first I thought I'd feel bad but after the Boss's "speech" I feel pretty damn good. Thanks for reading and keeping up with my Job everyone it's been great! If anything else worth reading about in my life happens, I'll be sure and post it.

Cheers!

Kody, The White Cougar aka..... Fuck it! I know I quit, but I like the Title.. Your Local Rent-a-Cat

Eerr....okay, I watched Chicago.... and I thought it was GREAT! Especially this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRGUEbqZo3A OMG!!!!! Queen Latifa so good. I feel like I just made myself flaming, quick...someone ask me something cowboyish...*runs around in a circle* I need to assert my straight gaynes.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm severly thinking of getting out of this god forsaken drama pit aka "furry". I just can't take it anymore. As of right now, there's some rumor about me spreading around in one big city, to which I ignore thankfully and it's subsiding so that many have forgotten about it. I've got a Headache, a Stomach ache, chills, and a 101 fever. It's annoying but yes I managed to go to class today finals are creaping up so stress if a VERY big factor.

Now.....I'm encountering problems because I want to go two events that happen at the same time. I try and keep my options open but one of the is a furry convention at Oklacon, the other is a furry meet up somewhere else for a full camping trip and fursuiting. I don't have a fursuit and won't by these times. It's unbelievable how when you tell someone you have something else you wanna go to that they figure 100% that you're NOT going to their meet. And then that makes me feel bad, but.....others want me to go to the other event.

To put ontop of all this is the fact of relationships. I broke up with this guy, but I still love him. There's just some things about him, that won't change, that I honestly don't want to deal with. That doesn't change anything about his personality nor that I honestly love him. I can still love someone and not be his boyfriend, and if we both want to be together as fuck buddies let us be...... I'm tired of getting the back end of the stick and always getting 'harped' on by a bunch drama critics that need to just be quiet and let things roll.'

Which brings me back to my original post. I'm severly thinking about getting out of this furry, removing myself from mainstream and going back to my regular world, where I can't express interest in males, anime, or anything furry. Where to do so is social suicide and execution. Do I want to do this NO! HELL NO!!! FUCK NO!!!! EXTREME NO!!!!! I like having friends to associate with and talk about things I enjoy. But its getting to be a fucking hastel to just nod and say whatever. It's leaving me clenching my teeth and balling my fists.

I honestly don't know what to do, what I should do, what I want to do, what my anger tells me to do. At this point.....I just don't care anymore I just want it to stop.

Kody, The White Cougar