Well, I havent died, thats for sure, but noticing I havent done any artwork in over a year, has lead me to believe so. I'm going do to a new drawing by the end of the year. Dont let me away from this one folks.

Hey Join Nova`s raffle! Its worth it, cause shes real good and a great price when she isnt just giving it out for free. Ive gotten... 3? Pieces from her already and I love em. SO get in on this great thingy!

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5133619/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5133619/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5133619/

Sorry if the link was hidden, I'm no good at computers.

I really need to get back on the fur train I think. Ive been doing my lifestyling alone with Luca mostly in 2012. Sure Ive gone out a bunch and hung out with furs, I went to Furthest North, and I went to the Meat n Greet, but it kind of doesn't really feel like I fulfilled myself enough. I had a great year, I really did, but 2011 was so socially awesome for me that I had a really hard time keeping up with how much was going on then. I guess I shouldn't expect that each year will be better than the last. 2012 was good and I am grateful. Not hat it was fault of anyone, but everything kind of drifted apart last year. all the relationships that I had right at the end of 2011 lasted all of 2012 thank glob, but everyone went their own directions; moving away, or focusing on work or school. Which I don't hold against anyone. I was thinking of getting into specifics like last year but I really don't know what I really want to say that would be new about my friends. I don't know if that's "a right now" sort of thing or not.

Last year in personal reflection I'm not sure how I feel. I've been trying to be a better mate with above personal average, but still mediocre effort. I've improved, but not as much as I would like to. Its hard battling laziness and my mind in general. On the social front I've again been working at my conversational skills. I think I have it down but I really really don't like small talk. if all there is to talk about is weather I don't want to waste anybody's time. I'm working on trying to bridge the idea of the small talk, but it doesn't really make sense to me. Sometimes when people ask me questions about life, or how my day was, by brain goes into overdrive wondering why anyone would care. I don't know if that's just some sort of mental condition, arrogance, or both. Also, believe it or not I have a bit of a temper. I try to hold it back, but once I start ranting about something I dislike, I begin to get excessive and over the top. It's something I've been trying to control. This is starting to turn into a general reflection, not a 2012 one; I'll change gears.

I think I'm getting bored of video games. I mean, I still play them, just not as much. They will always hold a strong place in my heart. I'm just tired of how the industry and fan base is evolving. maybe I'm just behind the times and I'm growing out of it. Something I don't want to happen, and I feel isn't the full truth. I'll see how 2013 plays out on this front. It wont be anything too dramatic, don't worry. I just think I'm going to stop referring to myself as a gamer for now. But if I slow my amount of gaming, what will I do? My difficulties with focus make other activities frustrating at times. I love beading, but it gets a little expensive at times, and I don't plan on stopping. However last summer I started cross-stitching and that's much more cost effective, but it takes forever to do. I tell myself to do it while I watch netflix or whatever, but its hard to focus when I'm watching new things. So, despite the many hours Ive put into it, don't have very much to show for it. Drawing is starting to get out of the question these days. I've been coming to accept that I just cant improve the way I would like, and not that I'm dropping it entirely, I just don't ever take the time to just sit down and draw because it ends up being a huge process and nothing really gets done. If I ever do finish art, I always look back on it in distaste. Its a vicious uncompleted cycle.

On the work front. Last year I told myself to be more responsible as a resolution. I did good actually. I improved my attendance greatly, I was much more ambitious and was willing to learn a great deal more tasks there and in the back third of the year things started paying off and bosses were really noticing me, and telling me I am eligible for promotions and whatnot. Good news, sure, but that extra step of responsibility kind of frightens me, so I've been avoiding those promotions for now and I took a lesser position of being one of the trainers, which really makes me feel a part of something for once. I really feel like I'm no longer just some guy in my workplace. So thats easing me into the idea of something bigger. Of course, the downside is that my theory is true that the more you apply yourself, the more others expect from you. not that I want to go back to being a spotty bum at work, but its hard staying afloat. I'll survive.

Ugh, I feel that three paragraphs is way too much personal reflection for this, I would delete it, but I think I need to let this out somewhere. 2012 was a good year for friends, despite the distances that came around. Through friends and parties I've ended up meeting more furs that I'm happy to have met. though sometimes I worry that I cant see some of these new people unless the people that introduced us are there. I'm really not good at the whole starting friendships thing. Working on it. I kind of have the paranoid feeling that some people assume I'm unapproachable or not open to new friendships. Believe me, I really love having lots of friends. I'm just not good at talking unless I'm drunk and making an ass of myself. And the small talk thing is so weird.

Now, on to 2013. I'm thinking as long as I don't do anything royally retreaded, It should be a good one. I didn't really make a resolution for myself at new years, mainly because the end of this year shot past without me even being able to catch my breath. In passing I said some stuff about trying to eat healthier, something I'm definitely already failing. Its not what I wanted, the last few years I've been working on self improvement and I'm definitely not where I would like to be, so I need to think of something I find acceptable soon. hopefully by the end of January, but deadlines really aren't my thing. I keep telling myself "I need to make a resolution today." and I keep putting it off, so I've decided my resolution will be to focus and finish what I start. I'll make deadlines and goals. and meet them. Even if I get frustrated and want to give up hope. like a few minutes ago when I accidentally deleted half this paragraph and two others.

My plans for 2013 are pretty open. I only have my anniversary vacation planned. every other vacation week will be spontaneous. Events I plan to go to are the usual, CCEE, Otafest, the Red and White Toy Expo. Also some new traditions Like The Pincade show and Furthest north. I'm hoping to pay off all my debts and start saving up for something big like a house. or smaller like a new suit or going to a fur con for once. One thing I really want to do is actually do the potluck I keep talking about holding. I think that will be one of the goals/deadlines I'm resoluting about. Also getting my damn learners already. its been too long. I was supposed to last year but noooo. Focus. Make goals and deadlines for myself. Meet my own expectations.

I think its time to close this big rant and review. So I'll do the classic essay denouement. 2012 was a good year, less exciting than 2011, but better due to the lack of drama. I didn't spend as much time with friends as I wanted, but that's perfectly fine. I was able to make new friends to add to future good times. I worked a bit too hard, but it was for the better. In 2013 I intend to continue my quest to better myself. I'm gonna stop giving up so easily and focus. I'm gonna be a real bro to more people. This year will be good. I'm sure of it. Lets hope for a great post apocalypse folks.

TLDR version: 2012 SUKD N WASNT AS GUD AS 2011 2013 WILL BE BETTER CUZ
I SED SO OK??

2011 was a pretty big year in my life. a lot of major changes, mostly positive. I guess you could say it was a dust settling period.

I had just gotten married in September 2010, and since joining the fandom in March 2010, I really didn’t have time to really find out who I was in the fandom, or really enjoy living though all the wedding planning. Once the wedding, then holidays were over, I was able to start 2011 with a fresh start, finally able to enjoy my life again. (Personal advice, don’t ever have a formal wedding. no matter what. worst thing ever.) But that was 2010.

In 2010, I resoluted to stop taking shit from people and start standing up for myself, and actually just talking to people. I was uber shy and I hated it. In 2011 I resoluted to continue my plan to better myself and started to actually let my true self come out, and just be myself in public more often. That worked out pretty good and well, I’ve made more friends in the past year than any other time in my life combined.


In 2011, I was able to speak for myself, i felt like I was "cool enough" to choose my own friends, and not have to settle with assholes and idiots. I was sick of being friends with people I hardly like. mainly everyone I knew who isn’t a furry. A few furs, but if you’re reading this, odds are, I don’t have a problem with you, so don’t panic.

I made a resolution in 2011 to get my license and save up and start driving and whatnot. That fell though due to my own laziness and distraction. Its okay though because I intend on trying again this year. Not everything in 2011 was good of course. There was the given drama from people, If you follow me on facebook or talk to me a bunch, you know who’s been bugging me, but that isn’t what I’m getting at.

I made some mistakes in 2011. Not mistakes I regret, because I prefer to make mistakes and learn the hard way. It makes the lesson hit you harder, and stick more. Not that I make mistakes intentionally. I chose to do some.. immoral acts. (Don’t ask if you don’t know. its really private. though I suspect more people know about it than I anticipate.) While what I did was wrong, I don’t regret it because I learned a lot about myself and the world I live in. I want to reflect on it a lot more, but I would need consent from involved parties, and it would be another journal altogether. It was a very deep chapter of my life that will probably be one of the main points when my life is made into a movie in 2057.

I need to now make some shout outs to my friends for all that they’ve contributed to my life this year. (in no particular order)

 wabisuke
You came into my life as the guy my wife likes and drags me along places. Youve turned into that guy who I cant live without seeing at least once a month. You spoiled me rotten and I cant thank you enough for it. your openness really helped me open up and get real.

 yannarra voice
Y’all are a package deal. (please don’t take any offence to this, i mean it in the nicest way. i just don’t know how else to say it) The two of you have been my inspiration that getting older doesn’t mean the end. I was always under the impression that after 25, life is boring and retarded and you can never have fun. *tear* I’m really glad now that I know I can be as awesome as you two for a while longer still.

 thorn. puma_concolour
You guys are a package too, and not because I think you two should always be pairs, its just that you both had the same impact on me. You guys really remind me of my younger self if my younger self was actually cool. You guys are who i wanted to be in the end. I'm happy with how things are now, I’m just saying its nice to see what kinda people I could have been. you guys are awesome and I have a lot in common with the two of you that i don’t usually talk about.

 iroh_lion
You’ve been a real bro to me. And I've had a lot of fun talking about pretty much anything. We seem to have mostly the same sense of humour. Sometimes when I'm hanging with you I get all pissy and annoyed with you. But then I start thinking, man what would I do without the lug? I cant imagine really. You’re a derp lion and I love you.

 rhyzern
I cant thank you enough for the times you’ve listened to me rant and go insane. You feel like a father/counsellor/brother to me. You’re pretty much always willing to listen, even when you have your own shit to worry about. You’re probably one of the most selfless people I've ever met and its really admirable. I know I'm a derp and cheapskate, but you still treat me like I'm the guy to keep around, like a sock. Cant wait to be able to see you more often.

 eolis
Oh Eo, i don't even know where to start. You very quickly became my best friend. I can truly be myself around you, and every time I hang out with you, i learn more and more, and I love it so much. You’ve taught and inspired me so much. I'm always looking forward to the next time I get to see you, which is practically every day. Somewhy, I don’t even know what to say. I almost want to make a whole journal all about it. Ill just say this, You're my best friend, and i don't know what Id do without you.

 luca-t
Last but not least, my wife. I don't think you did anything, just mentioning you because you're my wife and its mandatory... Kidding. You've been as good to me as always. You really help whip me into shape and continue being a good person and not a stupid hermit. You make my everyday life bearable. Ugh this is sounding so cookie cutter. I don't want it to seem like a love letter, but its really hard to write about you any other way. I learned last year that I married you because no matter what I think or do, you're the one I want to come home to, and be around as much as I can. I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure out why I did it.


2012 should be good, Ill summarize, because i think I may have written too much already.
I'm continuing my plan to better myself by becoming a nicer person, a harder worker, and generally more interesting. Maybe ill try the driving thing again. No, there wont be an apocalypse. that's retarded. if anything the internet will become handicapped, and the government will regret it. that's my only theory.

Anyways, I have a tendency to forget about a lot of the details, especially when I think start thinking about them, so I'll be leaving a lot out, not because it wasn't important or noteworthy, but because I am a very derpy moose. So if I forget to mention something you find important, remind me, Ill make sure I shout out about it.


TL;DR VERSION IN ALLCAPS

2011 WAS A GOOD YEAR CUZ I LERND ABOOT FRNDZ N LIFE N I WAS AN ASSHOLE IN DA SUMMR
IF YOU SEE UR ICON ON DIS, PLZ REED IT CUZ ITS SPECIAL 2 U. KTHX
2012 WILL BE OK N SUFF K? DUN FREEK OUT ALRITE???

How come the moment I heard he died, I shouted: "Faked for attention" And I was right. I knew he was a scumbag, and now he's gone too far. Anyone who thinks Kori is worth their time after this, is an IDIOT.

He is probably one of the lowest quality people Ive ever met. He may come off as fun and interesting, but as soon as you start to know him, you realize hes probably the darkest and most twisted, self-centered, useless, fuckwad on the planet.

He lies about everything. He would make claims that he would do things, and then at last minute he would just decided not to show up, and stop answering his calls. He would make up random things about people all the time. If he got in a small argument with anyone, he would do whatever he could to try turning people against them. Theres a few things that I really shouldnt say, so i think Ill drop it here.

We used to be friends, and as soon as i realized how much of a scumbag I outright told him to get out of my life. Hearing he had died was a great releif. but I guess it really was too good to be true. Cause now hes still alive and just hounding for attention. I hope this helps more people realize how much of a worthless asshole he is.

I dont care if you disagree, this is how Ive felt for a while now. I dont want to hear about how you like him and you think Im being an ass. Im not telling you you HAVE to stop being friends with him. I dont control you. If you think Im an asshole, thats too bad. this is my opinion, and It isnt going to change until I AT LEAST see formal letters of apology from him.

So, if you have nothing but hate towards me to post, dont post, alright. Im causing enough drama with this post as is. if youre angry and want to have a civilized talk about this, do it in person or on msn or something, okay?

It's a meme. Stolen from Thorn Who stole it from whoever

Rules:

Comment here and I will...
1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokemon you remind me of
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal

In the past week Ive bought/received 26 games total, and until the steam sale ends, thats going to be going up. Ive been doing nothing but vidya games this whole time.

The awesome thing is that Ive only spent about 20 dollars so far. Most of it was on the humble indie bundle 4.

HIB4, Steam Sale, and Christmas, all at the same time.. VIDYA OVERLOAD. Goodbye everyone, im too busy to be interacting with people. farewell, tata for now, au revoir.

Well, I guess Im still cool with socializing and normal routine. I just have no excuse for being bored.



Dont tell me you want a whole list, Im much much too lazy for that. Oh yes. ohohoho

Hey i kinda realized most people dont even know about my bead art account. I feel like a derp for not even noticing earlier.
Anyways, here it is  pixelatedmoose

Im going to be at Otafest lite this weekend and I'll be selling a bunch of my works, so come by and visit me or even support me.

Heck, you can commission me anytime xP

Okay so, i felt Id break down and do one of these silly memes.

It took me a while to figure out what this one is about, no one explains it.
So, what you do is post these questions, and if you feel like answering them, you PM it all to me.
I kinda doubt if anyone will do this for me, but who knows. Thats why Im postin.

Stolen from  mrhideaki who stole it from some other friend, looped indefinitely, until you reach the random uncredited furry who will never get the credit they deserve for making something silly that us furry folk go nuts for somewhy.

What if?~
● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house

unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:

~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?

~More ~
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?

I wanted a new journal instead of something so angry sounding. So wheee. I'm awesome

aw yeah, all caps going on in this bitch. Im pissed.


FUCK! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR STUPID BULLSHIT! IF YOU CANT BE FUCKING MATURE IN PUBLIC YOU CAN GO EAT A CHODE

Too much bullshit going on in the forums lately. SOMEONE ruined the best suiting gig any furry could have by not being able to KEEP THEIR GODDAMN PANTS ON IN PUBLIC!!!!

I know thats not the only thing, theres still random people freaking out cause OH NO SOMEONE TOOK A PICTURE OF MY CHILD!! IF THAT HITS THE INTERNET THERES GOING TO BE OVER 9000 PENISES MASTURBATING TO MY CHILD IN A CASUAL PHOTO!! Seriously, dont be a retard people. Yeah, i know theres creeps out there. chill the fuck out.


On top of that my friends are all upset with other people over this bullshit and its pulling things apart. I'm not saying ya'll gotta get along. I just wish things didnt have to drag on the way they do. Mostly stating this because its on my head and concerning.

A handful of friends are leaving, some are going for good, some are coming back. Its a litle disheartening. Ive been struggling so hard to get people to replace my really shitty non fur "friends" And basically since Ive joined the fandom Ive been cockteased a bunch, but Ive only hooked a little. I know this isnt entirely true, Ive madfe some good friends, but Im just.. I dont know, Im sick of my nonfur friends and I cant wait to escape them forever.

Love for my good friends, you know who you are. I appreciate everything youve done for me and I cherish what we have very much despite how little I often say (thats a journal in itself)

Hate for people fucking everything up in the forums though. eat shit and die. you should know who you are >:(

This is turning into a crazy busy year for me.

Between making a ton of friends, getting better at art, starting bead commissions, lots of new videogames, and getting a video camera, work, and the desire of laziness. I dont have that much free time to myself anymore.

I think this is how I want it though. I think I'm finally getting to where I want to be in life. Being alone and bored all the time is nice for me, but sometimes things just have to change. I think 6 years of being alone (aside from wifey) is enough.

Onwards to fame, riches, and awesomeness!

Whats on my mind most right now is the upcoming Otafest in May where I'll be running a games room with some friends, in which I'll be selling and comissioning my bead art. But before that Ive got Rammstein in Edmonton the week before, and until may Ive got a whole slew of furry events pretty much every week.

I have so much beadwork to do. Hoping I sell a lot of it. and I'm really looking forward to doing some epic beadworks for  eolis and anyone else who wants anything cool or custom made. just check out  pixelatedmoose(not fully updated yet) and http://pixelatedmoose.deviantart.com/ to see what awesome things Ive done so far.

So, today has been productive and inspiring. I got a new video camera, and a no longer shared tablet.

Ive had a slew of art projects running through my mind and now I have to take a look back at my previous dream of being a mediocre youtube celebrity!

Also in cool news, I just got myself an opportunity to fulfil yet another one of my dreams. My friend is in an animation class and I volunteered to do his voice acting. Hoping that goes well on monday. I'm pretty excited.. Dammit! I'm crazy excited! Even if this is the only thing I ever do, It will make me feel really great.


Remeber my name! Fame!
I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly high!
I feel it coming together, People will see me and cry!
I'm gonna make it to heaven, Light up the sky like a flame!
I'm gonna live forever, Baby remember my name!

(Fame as best sung by Adagio)

I guess Ill start a journal on this, dont worry, I wont go overboard. Supposedly folks want to know what i got to say.

Not much goin on. Playin paper mario and pokemon red like crazy, waiting till I can afford Dragon Age 2, MvC3, Fable 3, something else something else something else. No one cares.

Enough vidya games. I want to do art, i really do. I love doing it, and Ive beeen perpetually sucking for the past 10 years. But that wont stop me!! I say as long as you like it, its good. I love my stuff. So, now that Ive done my first drawing of the year, Im gonna try seeing if I can do at least one drawing per month from this point on.

Someone try and kick my ass into gear. Give me art ideas, ask for gift art. Just give me an excuse to do what I.... toughlove? I dont know what Im trying to say. Love it but dont ever do it. I think theres a word for that nyeh?

Did I go overboard?