Just thought I'd ask people here for suggestions on a few things.

1) Fur/murr-suit makers. Want to ask a few questions to one. Preferably one who is a bit more open to bird and bird like.

2) Comic makers. Looking for roughly four panels, so may not be a "comic" specifically but something in that vein.

Life has been rough lately so this is much later than wanted but here it is.

I WILL BE REMOVING THINGS FROM MY SCRAPS!

IF YOU WANT TO KEEP ANY OF THE PIECES, DOWNLOAD THEM NOW!

You are welcome to ask about specific pieces below, otherwise anything from scraps could be taken down.

This year has been, for lack of a better way of putting it, a rollercoaster. As such I have been thinking more about just what life has been like as of late and I am realizing a few things. Or perhaps less realizing and just not deluding myself about certain aspects.

I am not happy with my life. I feel angry a lot of the time when I’m at work. I’m consistently depressed when I’m home. A lot of the people I try to befriend are shallow and/or toxic.

Those are some of the bigger issues I notice since that’s basically all my life is. Work, house and social interactions online. What time I do have I spend playing games to try and get away from stuff. My libido has been a problem as well and I think that’s due to stress and higher volatile ranges. The need to feel anything over feeling constant misery.

So why am I stating these things? So people may understand why I will be ‘going dark’ so to speak. More so dimming but point remains.

1) Less interaction in the fandom.
- I will not be getting very many commissions of stuff going forward. I still will on occasion as I try to help the people I have befriended with some financial issues and they repay me in art but otherwise I don’t really plan or desire to branch out now
- Maybe it’s been noticed but recently my posts are just me stating an artist (and if I dislike the piece, why I do). I do not really feel motivated or inspired to write little excerpts for pieces like I use to. A good chunk of that is because most of what I get is at the mercy of artists whims as opposed to actual ‘lore’ for the character.
- Stories will be less forthcoming. My creativity is stifled heavily by my mental state deteriorating from multiple reasons, some not included in this post. Writing has become very slow and, sadly, almost chore like rather than something I enjoy doing. So either I have to give up quality to try and work on stuff or I just don’t work on stuff much at all. Neither is very appealing options but I’d rather give something quality or quantity.

2) I won’t be talking much. This applies moreso to my friends on DMs
- Something I find sad is that for most people, they expect the other person to reach out to them. But that’s not how a friendship should work. Checking in on each other is what I perceive a friendship should be and I do not have many people that care if I’m around or not. I am tired of reaching out all the time, always having to be the one to check on others.
- Something else sad is just how shallow people are now. You can be having a very pleasant time with someone for weeks or months and when you suddenly have this turn in character they just dip out immediately and block you. This happened recently with someone I tried to befriend. And reminds me why I stopped trying at all.

3) I want to stop dealing with past individuals.
- There’s a lot of art I have gotten in my time that came from people I believed were friends or respectable people only to later find out that they had swindled me in some way. As such, I will be removing some pieces from my gallery.
- In preparation of removal, I will give people about a week to get things they would like or ask about specific pieces they enjoy. I will also be making another, separate journal about this and that will mark the countdown for it.
- For assistance, most if not all the pieces I plan to remove from my gallery will be from the scraps section. I will keep a backup of them for record keeping purposes but I don’t plan to release them again.

If you have questions about anything, you can leave a comment or note me specifically. If it’s personal I will return with notes myself but otherwise anything I miss in my sharing will be shared in comments.

Thought I’d ask if anyone knows a decently affordable drawer that will do design work.

About commissions: Going forward, I do not think I'll be purchasing much in terms of artwork. So I ask that new people not note me inquiring about if I want to get art done. I'm tired of being scammed and swindled by the fandom. I will still be getting pieces here and there from reliable sources but otherwise don't be expecting much.

About backlog: I am officially completely caught up baring stuff in the works. It's a strange feeling to have it so empty. Kind of nice though. Liable to post as I get stuff even if it's only one piece.

Just a thing I wanted to get off my mind. Keep in mind, this is just an opinion based on events lately, word usage may be incorrect, etc. Can ignore if preferred.

So I've heard around places that the furry fandom is a toxic environment. I had not really believed that, thinking that it may just be a bad day or bad experience. I now am disillusioned and think that, while not the whole community is, there is something to that claim.

In my recent time, I have tried to be more social as my therapist has asked me to try and be. Granted, they likely meant more in real life over online, but I find that it holds true enough too. Because I try to be, a few different things have happened;

I have tried to offer a valid sense of criticism and was immediately called quite rude names;

I had asked a question and responded in kind only to be attacked by not only the artist but also their friend;

I attempted to make new acquaintance, they removed and blocked me without any say within two days.

Now, that is not to say I am a great person. I am not. I believe myself to be one of the worst. I have trouble with being social and understanding what "normal" people would pick up on. Perhaps I came off as rude when I'm merely stating my opinion or I tried a little too hard on a day that was really depressing. And yet, I have had so many bad times with trying to meet new people. So many bad times with an artist just being, for lack of better word, scummy. And the worst part, in my opinion, is that for every 1 on SoFurry or Inkbunny, I get it akin to 4 times on FurAffinity.

Overall, I think FA just has a lot more toxicity than other furry sites. To be expected, given its size, but still saddening.

Just wanted stuff off my mind. Can ignore. Lots gone wrong lately, including my laptop no longer having the letter 'E' available. Typing using a virtual keyboard.