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Better late than never
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QHYH1hY6Y/edit
Sorry, going through another crises of life. Let's see if we can at least chat things up.
Sorry, going through another crises of life. Let's see if we can at least chat things up.
Stream later tonight
Posted 12 years agoI'm gonna finish that Braeburn story, dammit. Not sure when I'll start probably in about three hours, maybe a bit longer. See you then.
Stream time! Moar padded ponies!
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QHYH1hY6Y/edit
Come on in and see what I've got already! It's writing time~
Come on in and see what I've got already! It's writing time~
Gonna be streaming~
Posted 12 years agoBeen a while, huh? I'll be streaming at noon today~ Or maybe later. >_> See you then.
For the love of God, leave me alone
Posted 12 years agoEveryone, I get it. You care. You want me to feel happy, to make me feel better, but it isn't working.
Anon, stop asking me to write stories. I can't, I won't.
Stop requesting stories from me everyone. I don't know if I'll ever continue Dinky Pie. I don't know if I even want to.
Does no one get what it's like being a nice guy? It's almost like being so sexy all the ladies want you- which is also something I've had to deal with. Every day, a million people ask me if I'm okay.
No, I'm not, and people just straight up asking isn't going to do me any good. In fact, it does me harm. I have to reply to you, or else I'm the asshole for ignoring you. It eats up my time when ten people in a single day all expect my time. Maybe some people can do that, but I'm not one of them. I want to either talk to one, maybe two people, and play a game. But I can't do that with everyone trying to cheer me up, when the only thing that can cheer me up is gone from my life and I'm not getting it back.
Everyone, please... leave me alone. I'm busy, I'm struggling to survive. I'll write when I want to. I'll make stories when I want to. I'm not going to be okay just because you ask me to. I'm not going to write just because you ask me to. I'm tired of helping others and pretending to be a ball of sunshine when I'm seething with hate.
Anon, stop asking me to write stories. I can't, I won't.
Stop requesting stories from me everyone. I don't know if I'll ever continue Dinky Pie. I don't know if I even want to.
Does no one get what it's like being a nice guy? It's almost like being so sexy all the ladies want you- which is also something I've had to deal with. Every day, a million people ask me if I'm okay.
No, I'm not, and people just straight up asking isn't going to do me any good. In fact, it does me harm. I have to reply to you, or else I'm the asshole for ignoring you. It eats up my time when ten people in a single day all expect my time. Maybe some people can do that, but I'm not one of them. I want to either talk to one, maybe two people, and play a game. But I can't do that with everyone trying to cheer me up, when the only thing that can cheer me up is gone from my life and I'm not getting it back.
Everyone, please... leave me alone. I'm busy, I'm struggling to survive. I'll write when I want to. I'll make stories when I want to. I'm not going to be okay just because you ask me to. I'm not going to write just because you ask me to. I'm tired of helping others and pretending to be a ball of sunshine when I'm seething with hate.
A word of the wise
Posted 12 years agoA Writer received a lot of criticism from his readers, and even from himself, believing his words weren't good enough. He went up to his friend the Painter for advice. The Painter asked the Writer, “do you want to put an end to the criticism?”
The Writer said, “Absolutely.”
The Painter replied, “Stop writing.”
The Writer kept writing anyway.
The Writer said, “Absolutely.”
The Painter replied, “Stop writing.”
The Writer kept writing anyway.
Great Writers, often unapreciated.
Posted 12 years agoThere are so many people and writers online who are jealous of me and my skills. Aspergers makes this hard; I don't understand, on some level, what I do different from other people. Other than just trying to make the story the way it wants to be told.
arbpw is a writer I'm jealous of. I think he's fantastic, and am always so happy to see his work. But much like a lot of writers, he thinks he's awful. Even worse, he thinks he needs to write because people tell him to, even demanding a sequel that was never meant to be. I know this feeling well. I'm getting requests like crazy for a part two to my Spa story, but I'm not sure if I want it.
thebackup is another writer I wish I could write as well as. He has aspergers, like many of us, but his disposition is... very sarcastic. His words are sharp and cut to the bone of the issue. But he doesn't do it to be mean; he doesn't give critique (most of the time) without seeing some merit in the tale. His honesty is just that; Honesty. He never intends to be mean or hurtful, I know. But he does lack tact, I'll say that. Though some people, I wish, were stronger and would not tell me they wished to die because of one thing he said.
Anyway, these two? I wish they had friends as good as they are to me. They really deserve more than they have, even if it's just personal for me. Arpbw for giving me my ambition, Backup for giving me my drive. So go give their stories a read, and say thank you for me.
arbpw is a writer I'm jealous of. I think he's fantastic, and am always so happy to see his work. But much like a lot of writers, he thinks he's awful. Even worse, he thinks he needs to write because people tell him to, even demanding a sequel that was never meant to be. I know this feeling well. I'm getting requests like crazy for a part two to my Spa story, but I'm not sure if I want it.
thebackup is another writer I wish I could write as well as. He has aspergers, like many of us, but his disposition is... very sarcastic. His words are sharp and cut to the bone of the issue. But he doesn't do it to be mean; he doesn't give critique (most of the time) without seeing some merit in the tale. His honesty is just that; Honesty. He never intends to be mean or hurtful, I know. But he does lack tact, I'll say that. Though some people, I wish, were stronger and would not tell me they wished to die because of one thing he said.Anyway, these two? I wish they had friends as good as they are to me. They really deserve more than they have, even if it's just personal for me. Arpbw for giving me my ambition, Backup for giving me my drive. So go give their stories a read, and say thank you for me.
Sometimes I hate everything.
Posted 12 years agoI don't even know why I'm making this journal, but I feel compelled to.
Like the title says, sometimes I hate everything. So many of you have tried to be good to me and it means so much to me. But for every one of you, then are about 3-5 people who see me as a source for enjoyment, and don't actually know what I feel. So many people who complain that the world is cruel and evil while they have so many things I don't, even the gall to say they have a loving family to me, and still wish to die.
I feel like my stories actual points, their actual reasons for being, are lost to the aether. As though all the heart and effort I put into them are mere shadows the the things that stick out in people minds.
I sometimes hate being me, being so nice. I've been homeless for a year, and without true family all my life. My mother was neurotic, angry, harsh. She literally said to me during the later parts of my life that I was a disappointment because I had a form of autism that prevented me from succeeded like her sister's children. She wanted me to be something she could rub in their faces, to use to say she was a good mother.
All my family was terrible for reasons I can't begin to explain. I was never physically beat, but I'd take a thousand lashes for the comfort of a kind word said with sincerity, with a real voice. One word to block out the thousands and thousands of hateful words that swim through my head, making it so everything I see is ugly and distorted.
I can't even read my own stories without seeing messes, piles of words hastily thrown together in a poor attempt to say something greater than myself.
I sit here, in my room, papers and words upon words upon words surrounding me, reminding me. I am 21, I have no job, I have no education. It feels like I have no future. My voice cracks each time I speak, hoarse from lack of use, as I have no one to speak to, no one I can go to for a time away from everything that burns at my insides.
I have a loving father, but even this is a warped parody of what we see in the lies scociety crafts on the Christmas and holiday specials presented to us year after year. He gives me a home, some of the most delicious food I've ever tasted. But his heart is fractured, his body and mind in disrepair. He drinks his woes away sometimes, and I am his shoulder as he wonders why, with his body of half a man and half a woman, why it is so many 'normal' people, and even those 'on his side' hate him so.
Life seems frozen in place, at least my life. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to be, yet I run ragged trying to find a place. And what do I have to come back to? People who crave my time, crave for me to make them happy with no question to what it is I want.
I'm tired of getting sympathy I don't ask for, tired of giving sympathy to those I would trade lives with in a second. I'm tired of my words being hideous creations in my eyes and ears.
And more than anything, I'm just tired.
Like the title says, sometimes I hate everything. So many of you have tried to be good to me and it means so much to me. But for every one of you, then are about 3-5 people who see me as a source for enjoyment, and don't actually know what I feel. So many people who complain that the world is cruel and evil while they have so many things I don't, even the gall to say they have a loving family to me, and still wish to die.
I feel like my stories actual points, their actual reasons for being, are lost to the aether. As though all the heart and effort I put into them are mere shadows the the things that stick out in people minds.
I sometimes hate being me, being so nice. I've been homeless for a year, and without true family all my life. My mother was neurotic, angry, harsh. She literally said to me during the later parts of my life that I was a disappointment because I had a form of autism that prevented me from succeeded like her sister's children. She wanted me to be something she could rub in their faces, to use to say she was a good mother.
All my family was terrible for reasons I can't begin to explain. I was never physically beat, but I'd take a thousand lashes for the comfort of a kind word said with sincerity, with a real voice. One word to block out the thousands and thousands of hateful words that swim through my head, making it so everything I see is ugly and distorted.
I can't even read my own stories without seeing messes, piles of words hastily thrown together in a poor attempt to say something greater than myself.
I sit here, in my room, papers and words upon words upon words surrounding me, reminding me. I am 21, I have no job, I have no education. It feels like I have no future. My voice cracks each time I speak, hoarse from lack of use, as I have no one to speak to, no one I can go to for a time away from everything that burns at my insides.
I have a loving father, but even this is a warped parody of what we see in the lies scociety crafts on the Christmas and holiday specials presented to us year after year. He gives me a home, some of the most delicious food I've ever tasted. But his heart is fractured, his body and mind in disrepair. He drinks his woes away sometimes, and I am his shoulder as he wonders why, with his body of half a man and half a woman, why it is so many 'normal' people, and even those 'on his side' hate him so.
Life seems frozen in place, at least my life. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to be, yet I run ragged trying to find a place. And what do I have to come back to? People who crave my time, crave for me to make them happy with no question to what it is I want.
I'm tired of getting sympathy I don't ask for, tired of giving sympathy to those I would trade lives with in a second. I'm tired of my words being hideous creations in my eyes and ears.
And more than anything, I'm just tired.
Stream!
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
Sorry I'm late! Come on in~ I'm hoping this will be the last stream for this story. So lets get going~
Sorry I'm late! Come on in~ I'm hoping this will be the last stream for this story. So lets get going~
Late notice, but I'll be streaming at 1 PM California time.
Posted 12 years agoExactly what the title says.
Stream!
Posted 12 years agoA stream of padded ponies
Posted 12 years agoLater tonight, join me at 9 PM California time. See you all then~
Blarg, still streaming.
Posted 12 years agoSorry I moved so slow. Things should speed up now.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
Stream!
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
Get yo' rumps in here and lets write some diapered ponies. :V
Get yo' rumps in here and lets write some diapered ponies. :V
Stream later~
Posted 12 years agoThere will be a stream today! Be prepared~
Streaming time... maybe
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
My internet is being stupid, so... don't hold your breath.
My internet is being stupid, so... don't hold your breath.
Stream tonight
Posted 12 years agoJust for fun, stream tonight at 9 Pm, California time~ Come on and lets get nothing done. :P
Streaming time~
Posted 12 years agoLivestream Tomorrow!
Posted 12 years agoSorry about being gone for two weeks. Life has a way of stinging you and making you not want to do anything. So, let's do some writing tomorrow! More Spa fun with diaper ponies. Let's do this!
Backup is having a stream
Posted 12 years agohttp://new.livestream.com/accounts/.....events/2306604
Shameless promoting on my part! Go watch him, he's making art. Tomorrow he's making stories, which is also art. Why are you reading this, go watch!
Shameless promoting on my part! Go watch him, he's making art. Tomorrow he's making stories, which is also art. Why are you reading this, go watch!
No stream today
Posted 12 years agoI'm sorry... I'm in a really foul mood. It's dumb, but I was recently rejected by a girl I really liked. Ironic, since most times I have to turn people away... *sigh*
Livestream!
Posted 12 years agohttps://docs.google.com/document/d/.....QNQWtwoao/edit
Come on, let's do some writing! I'll officially start at 1 California time to give people a chance to show up.
Come on, let's do some writing! I'll officially start at 1 California time to give people a chance to show up.
Eh, why not? Friend Meme~
Posted 12 years agoMight as well, I never use these journals to just mess around. Oh, and there will be a stream this Sunday~
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you love me?
5. Give me a nickname and explain why.
6. Describe me in 1 word.
7. What was your first impression of me?
8. Would you hug me?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
13. Would you meet up with me?
14. Do you enjoy having me as a friend?
15. Would you spend some quality time with me?
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you love me?
5. Give me a nickname and explain why.
6. Describe me in 1 word.
7. What was your first impression of me?
8. Would you hug me?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
13. Would you meet up with me?
14. Do you enjoy having me as a friend?
15. Would you spend some quality time with me?
Livestream time!
Posted 12 years agoNo livestream today. >.<
Posted 12 years agoSorry, I needed a little break today. To make up for it, we'll have a livestream next Wednesday, 8pm. See you all then~
