Commissions will reopen on Sunday, the 24th, Noon EST. ^^

I wanna use the word "limes" to describe the size of somebody's testicles, but "plums" works so much better that it's pointless.

I need to write more gay stuff.

HAPPY SKUNK DAY MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Be sure to pet every skunk you know and obey their every whim

Never pass up an opportunity to see how blue the sky is.

Commissions have closed due to a full slate.

Here are my prices and ToS! (Subject to change)

I require an upfront payment which needs to be sent before I start working. The rest will be paid upon completion/approval.

My rates are (Upfront payment in parenthesis):

2500 words: $15 ($10)
5000: $30 ($15)
7500: $45 ($25)
10000: $60 ($30)
12500: $75 ($40)
Max 15000: $90 ($45)

I will finish any personal writing and/or previous commissions I am working on before I start yours. It is first come, first serve.

You are limited to 15k words a month, starting when work on your commission begins.
Example: If you make a 7500 word commission and I start it on the 12th, you can only make more commissions up to 7500 words up until the 12th of the next month. If you make a 15k commission, that’s all you get for the month

I do NOT do:
Gore for the purpose of fetish (i.e. Garu)
Scat for the purpose of fetish
Non-consensual sex
Overly politically charged
Diapers
Underage sex (<18)
Gas
Ferals in sexual situations

Comms will reopen on June 1! There will be a minor price increase when that happens. All tiers will be $6 per 1k words.

2.5k words = $15
5k words = $30
7.5k words = $45
10k words = $60
12.5k words = $75
15k words = $90

Commissions are currently closed due to a full plate for the month.

Will reopen in a week or two!

"Any man could have a giant phallus, but it takes a hero to please one."

TheGreatJaceyGee, 2022

I should write more gay stuff. Every time I do they do numbers, at least by my standards.

I just realized a mistake I made in 4 Dollars' Worth. Why did Judy knock on the door of Gideon's bakery when she could've just walked inside?

I'm currently shitting and pissing all over myself.

Tildes (~) have lost all meaning to me. When using them properly, i.e. approximating, I have to specify that and insist I'm not being horny.

Joker on the phone: Hello, TheGreatJaceyGee? Yes, I'd like to commission some erotica. Please go easy on describing the orgasms.

Giving up on my writing career to focus on mining crypto and trading NFT's. Everyone wish me luck and thanks in advance for your support 😇

Size helps, but I'd sooner recruit the master with a rapier than the brute with a claymore.

I like my heroes' morality like I like my crotch bulges
Ambiguous until you do a little digging

"God, I wish that was me."

-People when they see someone in a very favorable, sexual situation, or me whenever I see a skunk.

Just realized that I created an unfired Chekhov's gun in In Absentia. I said Clarissa wanted to spank Damien's butt then decided she would later.

I failed to make her spank his butt.

I am ashamed.

Here are my prices and ToS! (Subject to change)

I require an upfront payment which needs to be sent before I start working. The rest will be paid upon completion/approval.

My rates are (Upfront payment in parenthesis):

2500 words: $15 ($10)
5000: $25 ($15)
7500: $35 ($20)
10000: $45 ($25)
12500: $55 ($30)
Max 15000: $65 ($35)

I will finish any personal writing and/or previous commissions I am working on before I start yours. It is first come, first serve.

You are limited to 15k words a month, starting when work on your commission begins.
Example: If you make a 7500 word commission and I start it on the 12th, you can only make more commissions up to 7500 words up until the 12th of the next month. If you make a 15k commission, that’s all you get for the month

I do NOT do:
Gore for the purpose of fetish (i.e. Garu)
Scat for the purpose of fetish
Non-consensual sex
Overly politically charged
Diapers
Underage sex (<18)
Gas
Ferals in sexual situations

Well, For Him and I won't be posted tonight, but it is finished!!! Will be posted first thing tomorrow.

I'm going to finish and upload the third and final part of "For Him and I" tonight. That's a promise.

I'll finish a commission after that, then go on a writing spree so that I can spit out content to make up for the inexcusable lack thereof these past few days.

Friend: Oh, you wrote a story! What's it about?
Me: Werewolves.
Friend: Neat! Can I read it?
Me: 😐

ProTip: Do not play Silent Hill 2 right before going to bed with a fever.

Is it bad that I use tildes (~) as punctuation marks? I've been referring to them as "horny marks".