It is...
Everyone asks you stupid questions in their language which i never understand and it only happens at work... 0_0

Well... People are People right?
I'll just brush that off my shoulder...

Hope you all like the pics (and one poetry) that i posted
and again see you for another week ;)

I have told many things since i got here in FA... Many things...
The world which revolved around me seemed little to be expressed...
Each day, the thought of the world i once knew before and today has seemed to expire little by little... After experiencing many tough times and many problems, i have faced a more difficult time to go throught...

Family, therapists, and friends cannot even help me go through this tough time...
My job, my home, my life is everything which i hold dear today...
After even all those years of hardship it has never even given any sense to mind...
I feel left out... So much to discover yet so little to take... So much to do yet so little to work on...

What is wrong with the world today...
Don't we have enough time to look at the stars and smile at the moon?...
Don't we have enough time to look at the sun and feel the warmth of the light?...

I'am russian............. Yet i have no idea what my language is......................
I was taught with something foreign........ And you are reading it today........

They also say words don't make a man............ But i beg to differ.......
If words do make a man.............. Then what i'am to be called?..........

Darkness.... The realm which i was afraid of is now a good friend of mine.....
I'am not gothic or any sort of language which you say today.....i'am nothing but a person trying to release something today.............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjIWriDTptY (this is something to guide you through to what i'm saying....)

Well, it's 9:27 p.m (and counting) here at the Philippines...
One last question for all you FA users out there...

Is god real?...

(i'm not an aethist if that's what your thinking)
Just curious...

Anyway, Goodevning to all of you, and see you in the morning :)

(and again, your ARGUMENT IS MUCH APPRECIATED AND VALID)

So i have been thinking lately.. And i thought.. Will the world really end on
december 21, 2012?...
If you think so (or not) please reply down on the comments below and again, yes your argument is VALID...

Hasn't anyone realized that imagination have reached much farther than reality?
Imagination has traveled farther to space.. than reality, which has only reached the moon...
(comment below if you have anything more to say, and yes your argument is valid)

This may REALLY sound weird but...
I'm kinda in love with spotty the cheetah's original character....

Shandi 0_0

And i don't know why but i just can't seem to understand why i love a snake...
FURRY SNAKE to be exact.... 0_0
(and what i mean about "love" is like i have REAL DEEP FEELINGS!!! 0_0)

Kinda surprised about myself............


help me............ 0_0 0_0

I'm not asking rudley or anything but...

Please do Fav. and give credit to the artist

Spotty_the_cheetah (creator of shandi and many other anthro characters)

Please do it really means a LOT! 0_0

Heres he link:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7312669/


Thanks for reading and checking it out, feel free to comment below ^^

First of all let me get this straight.
I'am russian not american
Second, i'am not gay, bisexual or anything just Man
(but I don't feel anything bad if i talk to someone who is gay or bisexual it's fine by me)
Third, i take photos rarely because of a very very very very very very very very very very hectic schedule. So this is why i upload some photos in a week after i have taken a shot of it..

Well.. That is all.. For now.

Hendrick (and by the way, my original name before i was adopted by the regals in the age of 0 was "dimitry" according to my foster mother)

And i also make poetry about light and dark.. I don't usually post them here..
(because other people might think i'm an amatuer..)
I write poetry because my brother "Benjamin" (deceased)
Has been an artist, musician and writer since i was with him..
He usually writes about life and death. He plays the piano in a timed schedule
And his art is always hanging in the sides of his bedroom wall .. (all his art came with him on his funeral)

His favourite pet were snakes (and so do I)
He had a pet king cobra at home (it's teeth were shaven)

Well that's all about him...

And thats why i'm trying to follow his footsteps in writing and playing music (only that, but i think i'm still amatuer at it)

(And i think this journal has more about him than me XD)

After being on a 5 day sleep paralysis nightmare without sleeping for 3 days afterwards, i have finally had little relief thanks to a friend and because of him i can finally take a nap..

(his name is snakeCHTW)

The only thing that was available before on the medieval times is gold and silver...
But today is paper bills..

Happy valentines for everyone here and there far and from everywhere :)

Nobody will really tell me what the world looked like..

Until i was a born and saw this ball of water and dirt...

Blood is a red liquid that you need to live..

But most importantly blood is needed for art..

Life is given to live not to regret..

life is given to make not to abandon..

Life is given to make a masterpiece not an example of depression only...

Life is art, art is life...
From the beggining on where you were born...
You began as a blank page...
The simple details are created by your mother and father..

And by the time that you were old enough...
You begin to go to school by the age of 5 or 6...
And learn many new ways for you to continue your life and what came out was a draft of your path...

By the age of 10 to 12...
You go to elementary and begin to experience more new ideas and thoughts from your friends or teachers... Some may come out good or bad.. But overall of that you begin
To color your own character and attitude on your life...

By the age of 13 to 18...
You begin to go to highschool... You then, experience more new ideas and certain thoughts from friends, loved ones and others... And this is where you put your background and more details behind your life...

By then you graduated from highschool and turn to college....
And leave behind your friends from the past, your family, your home...
And this is the time where you become independent...
And become yourself...
And paint more and more on your life...

By the time you graduated from college...
You begin to find a job, a house and a home...
You find yourself into some small problems and some small troubles...
But in the end you find yourself someone to share your life with...

Both of you begin to draw more and more on each others lives...
And help put more small details unto it...
And then you realize that...
Your art has become more beautiful...

Instead of a piece of paper it has turned into a canvass...
And you begin to have children and become a family...
Have your old friends from the past to come over to your home...
And begin sharing stories from your past...

And By the time that you died.......
They mourn over you...
Your family, your friends, your loved ones, everybody...

But in the end......
You have just created a masterpiece of your life....
And that is the meaning of both art and life...

But mine is nothing like the words of which i have written....
Mine is full of erasure....

I was born in moscow..
But i remember nothing of that time...

I was just an infant when the old world was destroyed in the flames of nuclear fire...

I, along with 40,000 others, was saved by retreating to the metro stations deep under the city...

Now twenty years have passed and going up into the embrace of an endless winter was left to a few brave souls...

The metro was our home...
And our fortress against the nightmarish mutants who roamed the tunnels....

Still, we never gave up hope that we would return to the surface.....

But one day a new threat appeared and we found ourselves in a war to determine the very existence of our species.... 

(intro of my favourite game)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljEBwH__oLw

I don't know why but i like this song.....

http://otherlives.com/post/4574836849

Click anything and will make a song out of nothing :D

It's a song of coldplay (one of my dead brother's favorite bands)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiiOpHEAda4


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< IT goes good with this pic. on :)

I have met a lot of good people lately here in FA..
some of them have problems of their own ,and some don't..
but even though through many hardships that they face in their lives...
They still have the strength to face it, and have the answers to solve it...

But I for one, have no answer to solve this problem of mine...
This happened a year ago..
In Moscow...

I found my parents today... (real not surrogate) (It was my first time seeing them)
On their old house...
they were at their front porch..
their bones clenched up to their skin reveling there veins..
And the true meaning of their old age..

but this did not bothered me...
what bothered me was their reaction towards me...
A question was circling around my brain at that moment and that question was: "what if they don't accept me?"...
And every step that i take, the fear on my head overtook my body more and more...

But at the end...
I made it...
But when they looked upon my face they recognized me in instant...
And when i was about to speak my father interrupted me and scolded at me and told me to leave them be...

I took a pause at that moment...
And realized my brain was right...
I should-ed have left them in the first place..
I should-ed have never found them...

Then upon hearing the words of my father...

I left them...
But i handed them out an envelope containing a certain amount of money..
But upon driving out of their house...
I saw in my side mirror of the car my father throwing out my letter into the street..
I did not returned to the envelope containing the money...

I drove forward and never looked back...

And upon leaving all that i could ever think of...
was the hate of my father and the reasons why they left me on an orphanage...

But after that incident...
I told myself that i Should not be bothered upon my father's words...
But the incident still haunted me..
And never left me...

Until today...
Rewriting this whole thing Here is the only thing that can keep me out of my misery...

As of my brothers words...
he told me the only thing that can keep his problems away from him was if he writes down everything in a piece of paper...
and that's what I'm doing right now...
Although it isn't paper...

I felt my depression coarse through my veins...
My every nerve and cell can feel the rush of blood...
Slowly flowing through my skin...

My heart is like a pump, sucking in blood poisoned with hate and flowing it out through my veins...

And the mind releases, a cell of darkness...
Within it was sorrow and sadness....
Seeping through my heart like a virus...

A virus that was unstoppable...
And with it...
Was all of my distant memories of my past...

The darkness is slowly propagating my head...
And i realized... 

The only way to save myself...
Is to write it down on every piece of paper i find...

But it felt hard...
Because the only inspiration that kept you going...

Isn't by your side.......

It's a song of linkin park...
A very good song..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6KK.....feature=relmfu

My name is hendrick regal
erick.. for short
my brother has died (Benjamin Regal) of cancer and to respect him i'll be taking his account...

Hi my name is John Francisco..
sir benjamin's former servant and butler...
as you may know for the past few weeks I have been checking on this site and page of his..
and by now I must bid farewell to this site and his account for it brings back many memories of him...
And to also respect for his death...
this account will be passed on to his brother, sir Hendrick Regal...
A do farewell...

-John francisco