After three days of being inside a hospital with no one talking to you...
For me it was a very common experience...
But at least I can smell the fresh air from outside..

Even if no one is visiting me for now..
I would like to thank a friend..
he made me remind that life is
not all lost... and that's still there is a chance to live
like a normal man and to be happy with life..
his name is Dmitriy Mart..
a very good artist, a russian with a good life style..
even in my troubled time he is there by my side..
I can't thank him enough..

and if your reading this my friend..
I can't thank you enough...
thank you for helping a dying man like me
go back to his hopeful side..
thank you.. :)

-Benjamin.

All around me are familiar faces
worn out places, worn out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up there glasses
no expression, no expression

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
the dreams on which I'm dying are the best I ever had..
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
when people run in circles it's a very very...
mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
happy birthday, happy birthday
And i feel the way that every child should
sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and i was very nervous
no one knew me, no one knew me
hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
look right through me, look right through me.

And i find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
the dreams on which I'm dying are the best I ever had..
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
when people run in circles it's a very very
mad world, mad world, enlarge n your world, mad world...

These chest pains are getting.. far more worse everyday...

If the 2012 apocalypse will come... it's a good thing to remember what the world used to look like..
because you might be the only person to paint the world after the apocalypse...

This is the story of my beloved one... she was a nurse, a full graduated nurse her name was Rebecca.. we finished together in the same school everything from high-school to college, she was everything to me.. a dream come true a, a caretaker of my life.. we've been a couple for many years but not married.. but then.. something happened.. on my way home to her I saw a note on the floor, written on it was:
"Dear, Benjamin
i hope you understand this.. but I may never come home today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I must tell you that I'll be going to the service.. as a military field nurse.. although you can go to the military base here in *

---

*, I'am doing this because my family needs my help...
I hope you understand this circumstances on which I'm going through..
sincerely, Rebecca"

when I read the letter down to the last, I fell down to my knees.. I bit my lip and remembered that I'am a man but then.. i realized that men can sometimes lose their manliness for a short time...

the next day I went to her location... I was very eager to see her face for one last time.. then she came out of the gates and I saw her face and told her I love her then she went off to a plane away from me and everything...

in that time I waited for her.. waited and waited.. after for 4 months of waiting... a letter was given to me.. It read on the letter that....



she was no longer with me....


-Benjamin regal

On the night of new years eve I fell down the stairs of our home I was rushed to the hospital immediately... I was 16 back then..when I was on the hospital everyone was talking about the concussion on my head the doctors, the surgeons, the nurses, everyone including my frightened mother and worrying father..they were escorted by the doctors outside of the Emergency room..but my mother refused to leave my side..my father took away my mother outside and let the doctors do their work..they injected me with an anesthetic from the side of my head.. I felt the pain of the needle thrusting inside me, but after a second I felt none.. My eyes felt like marbles on top of my skull I felt nothing but fear then I was finally put to sleep... during that sleep I dreamed of lights from different directions.. on the left side was yellow, on the front was wight, and on the right was dark red.. and in every second they I thought this might be a dream.. but second after second.. I felt that it was no longer a dream it was turning into a nightmare... from the dark red light I saw a man walk out of it wearing black shadows.. the darkness that covered him was pouring down to his feet, his face was deformed he had no eyes, a sown closed mouth and was standing there staring at me.. waiting for me to do something wrong.. then stepped out on the wight light was a man who's face was covered in very bright lights... I was blinded by the light witch shone on his face he was holding an arrow on his left and a molten sword on his right.. he looked at the dark man and spoke to him.. "why are you hiding?, we have a guest?" I was shocked upon hearing him talk it was like no other.. then came out of the yellow light was a man who had the face of a dragon and the body of a human he was naked but showed no signs of private parts or anything explicit... they all pointed at me and told me some language.. It was "ACTA NON VERBA!" in a very deep and loud voice in the same time by that time i woke up... I saw my mother and father by my bedside the lights on top of the ceiling were shining bright at me then my mother hugged me and told me that.. "Thank god your ok"... but these words were very common, I did not mind them... but what kept spinning in my head was the words of what these three creatures said... and worst of all.... it all felt real the sound the feeling the atmosphere it was like they were there and... it didn't felt like a dream at all... for me it was very very real....