first article... have you ever felt 'empowered' ??

Its a strange feeling when thought about too hard but then blissfully unaware or accepted its one hell of a feeling, good or bad is often hard to determine depending on what causes the feeling... I felt Empowered when I watched James Cameron's Avatar the first time.. Holy fuck i was riding a high for weeks after that... it can also come from hearing bad news, forcing or inspiring you to do something... I feel like that lately. It comes from alot of recent bad news regarding my friends and relatives of friends, acquaintances and just general 'bad shit' that life enjoys dishing out. I hesitate revealing details due to how deep my relationships with friends run but if you'd reveal i'd like to hear...

What Empowers you?

Anyways... due to my recent empowering I've been inspired to do something. I've spent way too much time idling in my furry life... 6 years furry and I'm in the same place I was 2 years ago. my characters are too important to me AND to some of my dearer friends to just let mothball because I'm lazy. I wanna commission something... and i want my friends to be in there with me. Again... due to recent happenings, if anything tragic ever happened to my dearest loved i would want to have things to remember them by, and I'd feel much better having them know just how deeply i care for them even if i don't pay that much attention anymore. I have been absolutely hopeless lately when it comes to RP which is how i met most of my good friends and they deserve better than that.

If you know any artists who want a really good deal you've always wanted to commission, or ARE an artist yourself I'm feeling very generous. the AUD is (at time of writing) 1.04 $ to the USD. If I am shown a style and a good/resonable price and given a good idea from any number of my friends I'll pay that artist an un-converted price. so 25-USD is what the artist asks for? I will pay them 25-AUD's. the extra 4 cents per dollar really dose add up

I will be up for anything with any of my friends and even friends of yours too if they like. there is a MASSIVE lack of love in the world today and its not good for our hearts and souls.

I know its been forever since i was active. a message here. a few faves there, but never a real acknowledgement of my existence. i don't want you guys thinking i'm loosing my spirit, if anything i'm even more furry than i've ever been!! and most importantly...

I haven't forgotten YOU!

i guess the season has given me a kick in the pants, reminding me i still have ties to keep alive. i haven't given up our ways i just spend my free time elsewhere these days. usually on F-list and Second life. yes... it got me. but still i'm not nearly as 'active' as i've been in the past. i can't really explain why this has happened... why i've lost my will and my drive to show myself in the community. i can blame it on my recent gaming, i could blame it on my currently hard, hectic and unpredictable life, i could blame it on the fact that i was never really any good. but i don't think they are right. i simply haven't been myself... who i once was, i guess... i grew up... i dunno.. god i hope not...

nothing particularly massive has happened in my life so far... just day after stressful. random event filled day. other than the usual brainstorming that ALWAYS happens and results in a new idea i wanna try out. but with my lack of drive, never get done...

depressing.... i know i'm horrible like that recently

i guess i just wanna tell you all that i still love ya. i'm still alive and well, and if the rumers about MSN being shut down some time soon are true i will need a whole bunch of new contact info. i will attempt to return to active-ness in the community as soon as i can. i really do miss the endless supply of porn that rushes through here.. hehehehe. but seriously though. every time i open up i see incredible pieces of art. and that's why i love it here

i was gunna say something else but i guess i forgot.. mustn't have been important,

if you finished reading you get warm hugs from all my active char's. cos its not just me that feels bad for neglecting all you awesome people

i hate it when software dicks around with me! Steam just corrupted my favourite game and refuses to let me validate another! 90 bucks down the drain thankyou very much vALVE you little bastard

so as you can see my tolerance for fuckmothering, shitmongering, bitchy self-important programmes that deliberately make it impossibly difficult to do the ONLY thing you want to do with them simply is absolutely zero

i'm starting a help-me stream... like right now... i INSIST everyone join and help with this problem, ESPECIALLY if you know what you're doing. the stream WILL NOT end untill i have pressure sensitivity!! i don't care if it takes an ARMY!! i've watched a million tutorials on it and i KNOW its possible.. but somehow.... for some god damn reason SAI REFUSES , ABSOLUTELY REFUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to accept pressure sensitive commands from my tablet

everything else seems to enjoy pressure sensitivity. its hard to turn it OFF. i'm almost certain SAI has a problem with ME!

http://www.livestream.com/frillneckwarrior

killed all my bugs... whatever, that's in the past now, i don't even wanna refer to that crap after this. back to my usual self, spending half my time being someone else and the other half looking for work

oh... the good news.. that's right. i got a new pen and touch tablet today! mutherfucker is a sweet piece of machinery! i'm fiddling the fuck out of it! came with photoshop elements 8 as well so now i have to learn how to use that... fun stuff. i couldn't be bothered buying SAI for the time being

so i guess i'll try and get some art done. my scanner still fails miserably, might just be easier to lean to sketch digitally

i did end up going to the doctors, the pain.... it WOULD NOT END! and turns out i have gastroenteritis or something. nasty lil bio bugger apparently. it HATES me with a passion for reasons i have yet to understand

good news is i can stand and walk straight now so i no longer look like i'm carrying a hernia. and my flu symptoms are history

seems something ELSE is wrong with me. its been 6 days and the pain in my gut continues to incessantly remain and the remnants of flue symptoms are similarly stubborn to leave. i thought i was going good there when i found myself eating a 'decent' amount of food. but i wake up the next morning, destroy my bathroom and haven't eaten anything bigger than a strawberry since. fucking frustrating. i know i should be hungry because when i'm presented with food i pick it straight up and start chomping (however slowly since i haven't brushed my teeth in a week and they ALL hurt... i'm so bad) once the first gulp goes down the food i thought i wanted so desperately suddenly seems totally unappealing. wtf? its not even my stomach that has a problem! all my digestive problems now confine themselves to the very... VERY end of the line. like just the last curve in my large bowel

whatever... i couldn't drive myself around to the doctor like that... sitting anywhere without 5 kilos of pressure on my belly to keep everything in place was excruciation painful. so i went and called up my mum, cos i'm a boss like that ^^ she suggested yoghurt to replenish my digestive cultures after such an... apocalyptic event. i thought it was GENIUS! why didn't i think of it? still i'm unable to eat much of it at all but i have yet felt no complaints from my body

also...

i'm still waiting for an answer from the question in my last journal. its bad enough that i have no choice but if i find out you're avoiding the question i WILL find you

Health stuff
well... i never actually went to the doctor, i slept through till like mid day and missed the appointment by a mile. but then again, by the time i woke up i didn't feel like i needed it anyway. the flu symptoms are almost completely gone, no stiff muscles and only a mildest of headaches, looks like i'm so used to that bug even when its assisted i can kill it easy. anyway, its only intestinal problems that remain, though i was able to eat solid food for dinner tonight (a bowl of 2 minute noodles lol) and felt no SIGNIFICANT discomfort since.. no debilitating pain.. i was even able to get up and cook the noodles myself! (yay achievement) so i did get well fast ^^ hehe.. i thought i'd be down for a week but it only took like 4 days

whatever...

the more important bit is the help i need from you peeps ^^

HOW THE FUCK DO I SEND MONEY TO OTHER PEOPLE !!!!WITHOUT!!!! USING PAYPAL!!!??
whatever you do... don't tell me its not possible because i will fucking table flip a semi-trailer!!
seriously... its worse than Steam, or Skype... or Facebook. atleast i can avoid them easily... oh god... FACEBOOK you evil muthafucker. its like i only have ONE FUCKING CHOICE! for anything.
i've had enough. i reject the mainstream and all its mighty digital monopolies for failing my schooling all those years ago, which BTW still continues to come bite me in the ass!

so.. again without the rage component.
how can i blow my money on sweet ass artists without using paypal??

as any aussie should know this is when Influenza strikes the nation in full force, in this not-so-rare occasion i've gone and caught me this annual flu virus, all the other strains before this one have been mild-ish and the ones i did catch only took a day to die, as i've said on many occasions to some of you, i'm a tough as nails Australian by default and bugs have to be exceptionally powerful to get to me on ANY level... this year it seems has the worst strain of influenza in 20 years

it's been 3 days since i felt the first effects and i've been all but immobilised by the nasty little bio-bugger. it gave me the whole package at the beginning ofcourse, headaches, stiff muscles, loss of balance, sounds like the usual... only this is so bad the muscles that move my eyes hurt like hell. its gone too many steps too far... though i have yet to enter delirium the bug seems to be attacking my digestive system the hardest, something i haven't had to deal with in many years. it's been bitching and complaining for the better part of 20 hours now, keeping me awake, growling like an angry lion at the top, churning and gurgling half way down, and chugging like... like something out of this world at the end of the line, sometimes you can hear the clunks and croaks over my cries of pain.

if it gets any worse i will surely be calling someone to take me in to hospital... i'm sure i'll loose whatever lunch i had that day on the way in but personally that's an acceptable sacrifice for a good night sleep and an end to this horrid, randomly occurring pain

WE ARE AT WAR!!! my friends

this has gone beyond a joke already... in my previous journal calling to arms all of my allies was clearly not enough. i don't think anyone grasps the gravity of this situation! that friend of mine being targeted by hateful people is no longer the only victim of this blind attack!. it has gone far... FAR beyond just a personal attack. its been going on for years and still mods either refuse to end it or end it wrongfully, its not even just FA mods involved... mods across 5 different sites fail to end this. and, not to mention, it has gone way past the realm of the fandom.. attacks have been made directly from this person too their opponent in real life!!! THEN the offender goes hiding behind lieutenants like a coward and even uses them to post more propaganda about not only my friend but his friends aswell. unlawful accusations on the state of their mental beings, sexual preferences and even their very way of life. my friend fears for his physical safety.... and frankly so do i. the arbitrator is clearly unstable and yet continues to operate under mods noses and insight shit that i'm sure would fire ANYONE up

including myself!!

indirectly. but in the attacker's attempt to smack my friend without directly 'attacking' them, this 'enemy' has unintentionally struck a nerve with me... i've never been pissed about much in my life, i've always been cool and as an Australian i can even take a personal threat and find it funny.. but let me tell you....

I.. AM... PISSED!!! i'm upto my back teeth. this shit will not stand!

and i'm sure i will not be the only one... the propaganda being posted around is not for the faint of heart to witness. it is HEAVILY offensive and is incredibly venomous! even a cool spirit like myself was fired up.

but STILL i refuse to name names in 'public' like this... the accusations are simply too serious and simply listing one name may get me banned for defending the honour of my companions

so. i call once again... to furry and scaly alike. to Marshals and Paladins. to the organic and the cybernetic. protect the freedom of the furry way of life!!! find your pride and put it on the line to free your brothers from this tyranny!!! force this ill wisher to relinquish control. let us walk the fandom with a sense of pride and security without the feeling of being ridiculed! we will be victorious!

Freedom or ban

I've never stirred the pot before, I don't want to stir any shit, that's not who i am, but when a friend needs your help... you give it! end of story. i shall stand in the line of fire for this person to the bitter end, but alone i will be nothing more than a meat shield, i need your help too, everyone i call 'friend' and even the ones i don't... i am calling in a favour of you all! help me bring justice to a wronged member of our community! right now one of my oldest and dearest friends is in dire need of a helping hand. a proud dragon-morph has been exiled for crimes that were infact committed AGAINST him, not by him. crimes he is hardly guilty of. for all intents of privacy rights i will fail to name anyone. and not to mention there has already been an inquiry into this problem involving FA mods which resulted in complete failure, if i am banned as well my usefulness is at an end

the defence... the one who has been suspended for trying to protect his intellectual property, i believe is being targeted because he is simply an easy one to target. he has no-one but me to call apon to help him but the attacker has a legion of friends to help slander the poor dragon. he has a poor grasp on English syntax and so often is hard to understand or fails to understand properly, his opponent is taking advantage of this and talking their way around mods and the law to get what they want! his account has been suspended from FA while his attacker remains a free user.

THE ACCUSATION!!!
A character design of the defence user has been STOLEN and MODIFIED by the opposing user without the owners consent AND claimed to be original artwork. the design is CLEARLY unique and cant be simply an accidental coincidence yet still the thief artist claims it is their own personal property which is a bunch of bullshit and chips!!! this is the worst of all offences.. blatant art theft!
The defence is then hated by the thief in clear view of everyone despite being the true owner of the design in order to ruin his credibility! art was drawn by the opposing user with the defences character's head on a stake! if that doesn't scream 'personal attack' i don't know what dose. this is just overkill.. what are they trying to compensate for.. the poor guy just wants to share his creative talent
STILL this is not the end of it, the attacker is also hating on the defence's religious beliefs!! AND his preference to what he dose and dose not like in his artwork! now that's just salt too the wound... mindless, undirected hatred
On top of all this the opposing user then enlists their own friends to slander the defence even further for irrelevant things. even completely blatant lies!! insulting and spitting on the poor fello's most basic freedoms.

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THE VIOLATION OF ONE MAN"S FREEDOM!!!

I can prove that all of this.. and i will!! if i can get more of my friends to help me restore this friend of mine to their original state of freedom and credibility. i cant stand alone, if i do i run the risk of being banned myself and then all hope is lost... but if you all stand at my back we have a greater chance to be heard. when i get enough people on my side the involved users will be revealed off of FA because there is a serious habit of mods digging into notes to find evidence of crimes

more freedom violations! but i will not accuse FA directly.. this is about two users...

all you girls or girl characters listen up!! your rack might just win you a free smexy pic with the lovely miss  mythril_blackpaw

she's running a contest for those of you with the best chest pillows. apparently that's the only requirement. if you've got tits, she wants to know about them! and if you're chosen she takes you to bed

VVVV click for the details and contest entry VVVV

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3513491/

yes.. i'm doing another because i want to show people that i'm really back for good now... the art should soon start flowing back in and the comments even more so

this was stolen from  dusk-runner hope he dosen't mind

How many characters do you have?
Mains: Chip Stormcrow, Jintulkin De'Ryer, Alexander Fletcher, Jade Fletcher.
Secondary: Isabelle Case, Tasiet 'Set' Ermexa.

Does he/she/they have theme songs?
the mains do

What are the lyrics from some of his/her's theme songs?

Jade Fletcher: Dreams come true - HammerFall

Never thought I'd feel again, feel the darkness fade and see the morning sun arise.
Never thought I'd feel alive, again, senses dull and blunt from all the lies
Now, when I hold your face so close to mine, I see a place where the sun will shine, with you in it's divine

Looking down into those eyes, I know, I'll be lost and never found again.
Kiss me once and I will surely melt and die,
kiss me twice and I will never leave your side, Dreams Come True

Do I dare to trust this time? Ooh, the Bells of Fortune, will I ever hear them chime?
Only those who have been burned before truly know the meaning of Hell's flaming core
I was the brooding night and you were dawn. Saving me, for I was forlorn, in your light I am reborn.

Looking down into those eyes, I know, I'll be lost and never found again.
Kiss me once and I will surely melt and die,
kiss me twice and I will never leave your side, Dreams Come True

Then, when the walls are breaking down on us, when all we see is misery
will you still believe in me?
Looking down into those eyes, I know, I'll be lost and never found again.
Kiss me once and I will surely melt and die,
kiss me twice and I will never leave your side,
until the sign of winter, always by your side....
(Dreams Come True)

Xander Fletcher: Undisclosed desires - Muse

I know you've suffered, but I dot want you to hide. its cold and loveless, i wont let you be denied.
Sooothiing~ I'll make you feel pure. trust me, you can be sure.

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart.
I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask.
I want to excorcise the demons from your past.
I want to satisfy the undiscosd desires in your heart.

You trick your lovers, that you're wicked and devine. You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine.
Pleeeasee me~ Show me how its done! Teeeeasee me~ You are the one!

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart.
I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask.
I want to excorcise the demons from your past.
I want to satisfy the undiscosd desires in your heart.

Pleeeasee me~ Show me how its done! Truusst me~ You can be sure!

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart.
I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask.
I want to excorcise the demons from your past.
I want to satisfy the undiscosd desires in your heart.

Jintulkin De'Ryer: Bleeding for the cure - Entwine

You're holding all the pain inside
And you're thinking about the end to come
It seems to be the only thing for you what's real
So you feel that you've become
Too cynical to live your life
And you believe that there is no way to be free

So you're losin' all your time
To figure out what's wrong and right
But, I believe that you have more than this to give
Well, it's not me who will decide
Who's lovin' who and what is right
Because it's you who has the power to forgive
(yourself)

You're blessed to cry
As you change your point of view
And you lead your fears to burn
You're blessed to fly
And able to return
When you're bleeding for the cure

Chip Stormcrow: The Art of War - Sabaton

I stand alone
And gaze upon the battlefield
Wasteland
Is all that's left after the fight
And I'm searching a new way to defeat my enemy
Bloodshed
I've seen enough of death and pain

I will run - they will hunt me
Then I will hide - they will searching
I regroup - they retreat
They'll soon coup de grâce
I will win but never fight
That's the Art of War!

Breaking the will to fight among the enemy
Force them to hunt me
They will play my game and play by my rules
I will be close but still untouchable
No more will I see suffering and pain
They will find me no more
I'll be gone
I will have them surrounded
They will heel without fight
Overrun
Coup de grâce

I will win but never fight
That's the Art of War

Broken and lost
Tired of war
They'll surrender to me
Caught in my trap
There's no way out
Fail never again

I will run - they will hunt me
Then I will hide - they will searching
I regroup - they retreat
They'll soon coup de grâce
I will win but never fight
That's the Art of War!

never done a meme like this before... infact i rarely do meme's at all. but in celebration of finally getting a new computer and becoming active in the fandom once again i shall do one...

stolen from  atanewt hope he dosen't mind

Rules: Just copy and paste in a comment or via note if you want to keep is hush hush. most of all Just be truthful and re-post if you wish. Just be Careful posting this, you may just get the answers you didn't expect.

Don't be shy and have fun ^^

0) specify which of my characters you would love most (this is an illegitimate option. added by me for this meme only)

1) Would you have sex with me if you could?

2) Have you Thought about it before?

3) Where would we do it?

4) Top or Bottom?

5) How many times?

6) Position(s)?

7) rough or soft?

8) Lots of foreplay? or get right to it?

9) more than one person? or have me all to yourself?

10) what do you think it would be like if you could?

She's asking for referances of exotic characters to do some doodling, the usual suspects are apparently a bit boring to keep doign over and over. read the rules and tickle her fancy. she might draw you something really sweet!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3357745/

so... i'm currently laying here, 5:30AM, giving myself heatsink tattoos, litteraly waching the damn sun rize because i cant sleep from all the crap floating around in my head. usualy i dont dwell on stuff... keep my personal opinions and problems quiet and all that. kinda why i dont have that many journals, beign one of those easy going tru blu aussies... mayte. but this shit? ohh. urr, and, before i go any further.. being tired means i laugh at just about anything thats not funny and find myself swearing at every concievable oppertunity. kinda like when i'm drunk...

whatever... so, my art drive completely crashed the other week... and i'm still pissed cos i have these epic ideas that i cant seem to bring myself to put down. what little stuff i have been doing is... hurr hurr "upgrading" my starship designs... little by little. like they really need it. though i am in the prosess of doing something really SWEEEET with them... taking a real long time. this lack of drive could probably be contributed to the fact i was hired into a sweet-assed job... and then fired in just 3 days. i respect their desicion though... the snmall workshop didnt have any work for them to merit keeping me for my wage... and they say i was, and i quote "too intelligent to be working and wasting your tallent in this industry. become an engineer" well... i am an engineer. technically... but technically dosent cut it in the real word... fucking system. W/E so i applied at the USQ for another engineering corse, full term, which includes but not limited to, fitting, turning, mechanical repair/ design, structural design/maintainance, aeronautics and even refrigeration. fuck.. everythign i love and much much more. but then i'll be stuck takign money from the system.. they're gunna make me fill out the same damn form every fortnight for the next 4 years or i dont get paid... pricks.

and this is australia, right? best damn place on gods green earth and shit like this just has to ruin our fucking days... somewhere at some time!

and thats not even the worst part. because i've been lieing here in the no-mans-land between sleep and awake for the past 5 hours i've gone and done a bit of research on a particular subject of my personal interest (that will remain nameless, for fear it might incriminate me) which has influenced a few major things in my life even though i havent really paid as much attention as i should have untill now which originally lead me to be here on glorious furaffinity (fuck i love you guys)... holy shit... talk about contraversy. governments arund the world abolish it.. including my own, the general population of earth either disgusted or completely mis-informed about it and only a few scarse intelligent minds accept and even fight for it... one half wants to destroy the other but neither can live while the other survives, christ i hate systems... and speakign of, religions cant even make their minds up about it either... the bible alone has a half dozen contradictories between the old and new testimate causing widespread conraversy (as t always bloody dose) within conravercy. now, i dont mean to insult any religius believers directly but for the love of all that is holy... if someone wants to be anything drastically more than ordinary, he or she has to bloody well go through god to do it! look at poor Gallileo! (however you spell his name) either by completely ignoring his--- or her existance or standing against one beliefe or another.

since i see that most of the worlds greatest minds have an exteme view on.. or a strong beliefe in something contravertial, even though i dont considder myself a genious by any definition, i decided.. WTF? if i wanna find myself SOMEWHERE in the history books and my dreams fail me, might aswell be for something i believe in

crap... i know by now this rant seems pretty structureless.. and it is... mostly. but i've just ben so damn frustrated with my lack of ability to sleep and my over-awareness of my surroundings i just had to tell someone. wether anyone reads it now is another story entrely...

http://www.livestream.com/frillneckwarrior

new channel, new skills, new podcaster, new unlimited download Internet connection
come on in, if you dare

Metal ripper by Sabation is a tribute to the genre of Heavy metal from around the world, it contains lyrical fragments from any number of songs from different bands played to a hardcore piece of metal music of the bands own writing influenced heavily by the bands beign tributed. if you think you know your Heavy Metal you will take this challenge

list all the song and band these lyrics are taken from that you can WITHOUT cheating by using wikipedia or the comment section below the linked youtube video to test just how much of a metal head you really are! though i must point out it is not a fully comprehencive test. this is just one song from one band tributed to a reasonable amount of other influencial bands. for some this test may be easy. for some... like me it is a reason to go out and buy a shitload more music

send a note with your list of answers and you will be sent back a %' correct and a total of bands, no hints will be given untill you try once

Sabation is a Power metal band from Sweeden, Metal ripper is 10th song on their 6th studio album titled: Coat of Arms. unlike most bands that write music about love, about feeling, fantacy, what could be, what should be. these hardcore battleanthum players write songs based on reality... the hardest reality. they write songs on battles of the world throughout history. if you want the hardest of hardcore without going so emo you can only understand the last 3 words in every bar these guys are the way to go, clearly understandable lyrics. i defy you not to feel pride in your gut when you listen to the heart poured into these battleanthums. remember that most of you american sobs faught in the battles they sing about

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabaton_(band) this link will not give away any hints to the challenge.

i do highly recommend you buy their albums if you enjoy Metal ripper the rest of their songs are even better consisting of pure soul and originality... no dont download it like a wuss. grow a pair and pay for your music like you mean it!!!

now here is the link. listen close because it is a fast paced song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrDxjBg5DEU

i just rolled over to 3'000 pageviews and its ALL YOUR FAULT!! i love ya all for it, i do, it makes me feel atleast somewhat loved and wanted. like i'm not totaly bloody useless. and you know what? you guys deserve more than this sulky self-leathing sorry little man. ive had it with my damn, endless, god forsaken slump. i couldnt even think of a piece of art i could draw that would show my appreciation of you all so instead i'm gunna draw each one of you something individualy, if you comment here within a week of me posting this and provide a little idea and inspiration i'll draw you something, it wont be glamourous or pretty, or very sexy but i'll do my best. dosent even matter if you're not that much of a regular, hell bring your friends but please dont pimp me... not just yet this is only small time stuff till i start getting good, i need practice and the best way i see is this. i cant rely on my own imagination anymore so i'm calling on your supple brains to help me become a better artist for you guys, thats the best appreciation i can think of. just beign generaly more awesome for my viewers!

i didnt make it this far without you, each extra watcher i see in my list makes me that little bit more confident. i need you to help take me even further and fill my gallery with real art! maybe even add to your own if you like them enough. so please. dont be shy, if its clean i'll do it without fuss. i wanna see 5 requests in here by weeks end at the very least.

the lovely and talented  ladymacbeth is currently accepting requests based on ideas she has from listening to music. and good music too not that crap that usually spams the radio.

go here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3125635/
give her love and you might increase your chances

i live in an advanced Australian time zone that is 10 hours+ GMT and the moment i send this... i call from 00:00 hrs 1st January 2012

and fucking hell... i have absolutely nothing to do for this epic occasion

i have little interest in eating someome or being eaten by someone for any reason and the mentality behind such an event still escapes me. i had it explained to me a few times but i'm still confused.

but anyway apparently some of you.. i wont pont fingers.. enjoy such a thing >.> and now someone is runnign a raffle for one hell of a vore orgy. hurry in efore you miss it.. at time of posting its already 3 hours old and its only a 1-day event!!

this is no joke. there is a raffle going on right now. the current theme is enticle orgy. you should reade the below journal carefully to enter

dont be shy... enter... enter nau damnit! and if you miss this oen there will be more later!!!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3026584/

motherfucker. i could have told you this from the get go

the elder scrols has been clawing its way through the history of all gaming since 1994. and now ofcourse it will go down in history for the rest of our existance. being a part of such an epic event makes my heart stop. i know that seems pretty lame but tell my your spine dosent tingle when you see the trailers and listen intencely to the theme orchastration on high definition surround sound

no.. i havent finished it yet and i intend to put this off for a LONG time so i can examin every aspect of the insanely, mind altering fantasy. though my version of the game told me to go fuckoff and keeps crashing to desktop every time i enter the open world... serves me right for takign a cracked version from my friends friend. but once i fix it you know i'm gunna take my argorian version of Jinn out and the next person who gets in her way will have my two handed sword shoved right up their ass and have it broken off at the hilt!!

i played it for 8 days and i am still suffering withdrawrals 10 days after it fucks up... no fucking wonder it won game of the year... holy fuck

recently, less than 10 minutes ago i watched a documentary titled Taboo. it focuses on all the things in our world that normal society can view as abnormal, unbelievable, backward, wrong, sinful, disgusting and even evil. the subject of the one i watched was on Roleplay, seeing it explained soo well and with actual opinions from credited psychologists and psychietrists in agreement to the subject AND having that braudcast across god knows how many nations of the world was almost exilerating for me because i related very closely to what was said and it made me think very hard about what i consider as just a way of relieving stress.

one of the interveiws was with a second life player... a young, good hearted man from florida who lives with has a real family, a wife, a real son and daughter. he lives well in a lovely town house with every day people as friends, he abides by codes of conduct and acceptable actions happily, he wouldnt dream of breaking the law and he certainly wouldnt think about doing anythign against his wife and family, but when his family goes to bed at night, there on the internet he switches to Stroker who is a self proclaimed sex god! he has virtual freinds all over the world with who he has the most lewd sex with every time he goes online, and not just that but a wife who he loves with all his heart as if she were real, and also a virtual daughter who he loves equaly as much, and has large amounts of sex with on a regular basis... THAT IS FEDERAL!!!! the worst kind of crime punishable by life imprizonment, maximum security in EVERY country never mind stepping the friendly barrier he has gone and fucked his daughter!!. yet he is deathly against all of these actions in reality but he still parforms them for kicks in second life. though all this its not just for the faps, he listens to the players problems and talks with them as the character comforting them with real emotional effects, he truely cares for the characters and their players just as much as his real family. now i can relate highly to this state of mind. i have a character *not my main* who has intimate relations with his daughter semi-regularly, though adopted mind you but still his daughter. in reality i would have shot that mutherfucker. tell you the truth i dont even want to have kids, i could never see myself with a family because i get far too emerced in what i do both in reality and not that i would just end up ignoring and neglecting them, if i tried the result would always be messy brakeups and lawyers apon lawyers apon lawyers. BUT what hit me the hardest was how much impact the virtual world can have on what happens in reality. this second life player being interviewed earns SIX-FIGURES!! off the selling of his incedibly massive array of sexual object and animations he makes as a proffesioanl animator including but not limited to virtual and functional bodily organs, sound effects, multi positional beds, highly functional sex-beds, whips, chains, clothing, bondage, functional aperatuses, dances, sexual positions and god only knows what else. he is so emerced in his roleplay that he is running his real life off what he dose in his 'second life'. fantacy so close to reality that he can buy a fucking ford terretory with the sale of the most contravertial type of sex

all this hit me very hard! every roleplay i start is a rejection of my real self, depending on the complexity and the skill of the other player i can actualy forget who i am and i can fall into the character i play dispite gender, age or species and literaly become that person. these characters arent just something made for fun, they are parts of my conscious mind with their own feelings, their own likes and dislikes, their own wants, their own needs, their own passions, their own conscience. in reality i wouldnt dare do the things i do online becaus i am fully aware of what they might do to myself and others. even the starships i create are so close to reality that i can quote you every component face to face, the composition of each component and just how much of a certain element is used in its construction by weight or mass, every detail, every component interlink and its relation and effect on other components. what i can imagine like this in fantacy and virtual brings it soo much closer to reality i can feel its effects physicaly

i dont expect anyone to really understand... i bearly understand it myself, but that is the reason i keep doing it because it is so interesting, its not just my need and desire to escape from reality and cope with my problems, it is also my need to understand. and it IS a matter of considerable questions, how far is too far? how real can fantacy get before it starts effecting or even aultering reality? will fantacy insite real actions? would reality even exist without fantacy? can fantacy have real life consiquences dispite having no consiquences within itself? is fantasy a reality unto itself? where is the line drawn between fantacy and reality? and exactly how far can that line be bent and warped before it snaps?

i just had to write this down because my mind was a mess of charged up drives and hot ideals that i just had to braudcast myself! i actualy had the shakes while typing because of the force i was hit, the last time i shoock like that was from watching Avatar for the first time in 3D, and i was stumbling for a week after that. even that fantacy had a real impact. now i will be riding this natural high for months

i feel almost invincible!! and i have no idea why

they be tripin' on meh

last stage of the move means i have to get my internet provider to transfer my connection to the new address... they estimated 7 to 10 days, though the last time i transfered they only took 3 days... in any case i'll be totaly gone for however long it takes....

be back ASAP... no promises as to how long