So I wish to provide a more extensive update about my health situation.

Back in December '23 I got a really bad case of the flu or covid, ever since then my health has been progressively getting worse. It all started with mild stuff like allergies getting worse, regular colds, and lower energy levels. However over the last 9 months it gotten even worse, having been sick for 3 weeks out of every month minimum, so I get very little relief from being sick and it means I'm unable to work at this point. With the one of my latest sicknesses being me fighting an infection and a wound that my body took over 3 weeks to heal with pretty severe bleeding. So yeah it hasn't been rough.

I have a history of being sick a lot as a kid, since I used to have an extremely rare immune disease, but that is supposed to get better throughout puberty, however not much is known about it. So that currently is the angle several specialists are looking into, to see if it potentially has permanently damaged my immune system or if there is some other immune deficiency that is causing me to be sick this often.

In addition to the physical health, I've also been fighting my mental health. Without any fulfillment in the day things have been quite rough on me, which has accelerated some of the deterioration associated with some of my mental health issues. Recently I finally started seeing several specialists at a local mental health place, the reason it took a while was waitlists, lots and lots of waitlists.

So while dealing with physical sickness, my mental health has been in a bad place as well, but I'm finally starting to work on it. The diagnoses are important since the last place I went through misdiagnosed me and also provide some potentially wrong treatment. I'm not on any medication right now, that's something that will take time to figure out what I need. I'm not very stable mentally right now, but unlike in the past with some my depression and multiple personalities, I will not go into too much detail about what I'm dealing with. I feel like proper professional help will do a lot more for me than venting out my frustrations with what might be. Speculation can lead to more stress and paranoia after all, I don't need more of that. Just get through diagnostics and then I can share what exactly is happening.


Luckily I saved enough money to be able to sustain myself the last 9 months, even able to still get some art. Nowhere near what I was able to get in the past, but it was nice regardless. However now I have to stop all together with art, keep the last bits of my savings for my expenses until I can find some more income. I still have a backlog of art that needs to be uploaded, so you guys won't miss out on posts. The health stuff is part of why I stopped uploading for a while in the first place.

Meanwhile the government isn't willing to give me a disability check because I'm not "disabled enough", which their rules for it is "you can never work again for the rest of your life". So with those strict rules I will likely never be elligible for that and with me having no source of income it would be reasonable to ask for donations, but it's something I personally feel bad about since I provide nothing in return other than sharing art. I've also received some harassment and stalking in the past as well for asking for help making ends meet when I had medical bills, so that certainly doesn't help either my fear of providing a link to donate.

There were also several people who suggested I make a Patreon due to all the art I commission (especially the NSFW side), how it's a way people wish to support the art I get. And while I could give them access to a Discord server so they could interact with me, give them behind the scenes of how I come to my ideas, share works in progresses, I think ultimately that never was enough of a service to justify doing that. Since I'm not the one putting in hours to draw the art. What service am I actually providing? Would that be enough?


I don't generally go into my personal life too much, even while all these things have been happening, there is still plenty of things I haven't even mentioned. I honestly feel very self conscious and whiny when I talk about things. I have a lot of emotional strength until I truly break and I have been broken for a long time, but I still try to hold onto the same norms. Not laying it on others, just pushing through, just becoming a better person, don't complain, just push, just go, fix it myself, we can talk about the struggle after and then be inspirational. It's honestly a toxic spiral that is unhealthy for me.

And that's why I never really show the struggle much, it's why this journal is difficult for me to write. I feel so self centered, I feel so afraid, but I learned recently it's good to open up. Especially since I have an audience, don't just show the good, also show the struggle. And the struggle is probably worse than I can put to words, but I don't wish to be melodramatic, even though it probably wouldn't be, I don't have anything diagnosed yet, so I don't want to give people the wrong idea about how bad it actually is.

When I talked about some of my past medical experiences, two friends were shocked, likely been part of two malpractice cases if I was an adult and was aware of what was happening. So I have a fear of doctors, I have a fear of showing truly how bad things are. I don't need shock value, all I really need is support.


So what I was planning to do instead is to start streaming over on Twitch, so I can do something with my time instead of just sitting here doing nothing all day besides the several medical appointments every week, and potentially make some money so that I don't have to continue to dig into savings to be able to live and so I can get myself something nice from time to time if money allows for it.

If you want to catch me streaming you can do so here: https://www.twitch.tv/theonlyskywoof

Yes I'm very much aware as a starting streamer it's extremely unlikely I will make any money, but at least it will give my days more purpose, something to do between the several medical appointments I have every week. I'm tired of sitting still, I need to do *something*. Maybe if I enjoy it I could combine it with the idea of a Patreon, so people can support my journey through these health problems. Provide some more regular health updates and give more of an insight in my mental health struggles as well. Sounds like a fun way to make ends meet honestly, but I first should try streaming to see if I actually enjoy it before building a potential business model around it. Unless you guys think I should maybe start a Patreon anyways?

So yeah, I'm curious to hear what you guys think about all this. Should I start a Patreon regardless of streaming? What perks would you like? Should I provide more life updates in general on my social media instead of just posting art? What would you like to see from me in general? And what would you like to see me stream? There is so many possible other questions I wish to know the answer to that I can't possibly write down. So just, give me your unfiltered thoughts please! Feel free to do so in the comments on whichever site you see this post or to reach out to me in private either on Discord or on other socials.

If you wish to support me already, here is my ko-fi:
https://ko-fi.com/theonlyskywoof
Fan/Gift art is also okay. I never really made a good public statement about it due to being scared. But since art cheers me up, I should be honest about that as well instead of being vague.

Sorry if I'm not the best with words, hopefully all is clear, I know it's a lot to read, so if you made it to the end, thank you so much.

Much love,
Skylar 💚