I'm stuffed.
I get a pension of $940 per fortnight, and went to pay my phone bill ($200).
Okay, $750 for the fortnight, minus $560 for the rent...
$180 left over for food and other stuff.
Had to go on a quick trip to finalise a few thing to do with my mother, $48 (I needed some lunch, to recharge my transport smart card, and get a few scripts).
'Kay... $132 for the next two weeks for food and any other stuff... okay I can manage.

Check bank account when I get home... available balance $551!
That's not enough to cover rent.
I log into my bank account, and see Pending Transactions of just over $132. those consist of gym membership, a monthly charity donation, and a few Patreon pledges... I didn't factor in those, for I forgot those got charged the first of the month, due to the stress of dealing with my mother's' death in April.

I have enough frozen meat, and root vegetables in the crisper to last till the next pay week (the 15th of June). But, I don't have any milk, bread, or fresh ham.

I really hate asking for help... but, if a few people could send a few bucks. $10 should be enough to cover the rent shortfall. My Paypal Me link is https://www.paypal.me/PeterTaylorTRR

I gave and gave for so many years, very rarely asking for anything back I tried to live a selfless life.

Please help, I know I'm going to be broke for my birthday on the 11th of June... I just don't want to be homeless.

(Cross posted from my Facebook)

This is fucking horrible. I went to the courthouse for my interview about funeral assistance. I got told that the government would take every last cent of my mothers. and the total of her last pension payment... and in doing so cancelling the deductions she had set up, a fortnightly rent payment (I pay the other week), and $80 per fortnight for the power-bill..
The total amount the government would take is $3200.

I was hoping to be able to use some of her estate to settle an outstanding power-bill, and to ease my transition to a single income household.
I'd be left with a total liability of around $1000, (consisting of the rent & power bill)., if I submitted the paperwork today

I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go, I don't know how to ask for help.
I'm just a disabled penisoiner, I only get $920 a fortnight.

Dare I sent up a Go-fund me page?
I feel selfish for thinking about it, and selfish for thinking about asking for help I have tried to have a self-less live.
I just want to restart my life.

:(

How does someone prepare for the loss of someone that they grew up with.
My mother, Pat, died on Friday morning. She was making small improvements day by day in hospital. But, then the strain got too much. Mum took ill so suddenly, that's what makes it so hard.
She just got out of hospital the previous Friday. But, took a turn for the worse at home the following Saturday. she was bundled off to ICU that night.

When I got home after my first visit to see Mum in ICU
I opened the door, and said in a clear voice "Hi mum, I'm home", as I normally do.
I then went down into the kitchen, and said "I'm home".
I kept saying"I'm home" louder, and louder, till I collapsed to the floor crying.
And quietly saying " I'm home" in between the crying.
Then in my mind I hear her say "I know"

I say good morning, and good night to her.

This town house is so empty with out her. I have lived with her for my life so far.
There are things that I have regret saying. And, there are things that I regret not saying.
I dwell in sorrow

Years ago i promised to take care of my mum. And i tried to, at the expense of myself.
In the end my efforts were not enough... i failed her.
I now have no purpose.

I ask myself what else is there?

A quivering cunt
His soothing balm leaves me slick
The catching barbs tug

---

Art of this will be posted soon

https://www.weasyl.com/~theredraptor

I also like creepy comments on some of the art that I share

I love those whom are in love, this is for you https://youtu.be/G8L2qsMJX20

Normal raptor (M15+): https://twitter.com/YesaRaptor
Super sexy raptor (R18+): https://twitter.com/UtahRedDark (Still has that new car smell!)
Get following!

I'm after a minecraft server to join.
I like building, digging, hunting, and crafting
Here's an example of what I can do: http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f.....0-16-48-34.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f312/Bookworm303/Spinecraft/Untitled0-16-9-7.jpg
It is a self constructing & repairing building.
Please post addresses below.

I need to get out of this unit. I am sick of repressing myself lest I offend someone and feeling nothing no matter what is said against me. This is not a life.

I ask myself "What is there for me when I wake up each morning"?
Each time I answer "I do not know."

An update on my art ideas journal:

What theme should I have for my next commissioned picture?
I so far have had Faith, Taste, Touch, Lust, Passion, Climax, Exhibition, Sight, Warmth, Power, Flex, Question, Relax, Love, I see you, Masculinity, Magic, Temptation, and Difference.

Got any ideas?


Suggestions so far: Protection, Possessiveness, Lost, Darkness, , Found, Trust, Wisdom, Courage, Malice, Adventurous, Gym, Restraint, Play, and Warrior.

If you are a new watcher, I would like you to contribute please.

What theme should I have for my next commissioned picture?
I so far have had Faith, Taste, Touch, Lust, Passion, Climax, Exhibition, Sight, Warmth, Power, Flex, Question, Relax, Love, I see you, Masculinity, Magic, Temptation (coming soon), and Difference.

Got any ideas?


Suggestions so far: Protection, Possessiveness, Lost, Darkness, Temptation, Found, Trust, Wisdom, Courage, Malice, Adventurous, Gym, Restraint, Play, and Warrior.

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? ~ No
Been arrested? ~ No
Kissed someone you didn't like? ~ No
Slept in until 5 PM? ~ No
Fallen asleep at work/school? ~ Yes
Ran a red light? ~ Yea
Been suspended from school? ~ No
Experienced love at first sight? ~ No
Totaled your car in an accident? ~ No
Been fired from a job? ~ No
Fired somebody? ~ No
Sang karaoke? ~ No
Pointed a gun at someone? ~ no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ~ Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ~ No
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ~ No
Kissed in the rain? ~ No
Had a close brush with death (your own) ~ Yes
Seen someone die? ~ No
Played spin-the-bottle? ~ Yes
Sang in the shower? ~ No
Smoked a cigar? ~ No
Sat on a rooftop? ~ No
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ~ Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ~ No
Skipped school? ~ Yes
Eaten a bug? ~ No
Sleepwalked? ~ Yes
Walked a moonlit beach? ~ Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? ~ No
Dumped someone? ~ No
Forgotten your anniversary? ~ No
Lied to avoid a ticket? ~ Yes
Ridden on a helicopter? ~ No
Shaved your head? ~ No
Blacked out from drinking? ~ Yes
Played a prank on someone? ~ Yes
Hit a home run? ~ No
Felt like killing someone? ~ Yes
Cross-dressed? ~ No
Been falling-down drunk? ~ Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? ~ No
Eaten snake? ~ No
Marched/Protested? ~ No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ~ No
Puked on amusement ride? ~ No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? ~ No
Been in a band? ~ No
Knitted? ~ No
Been on TV? ~ No
Shot a gun? ~ No
Skinny-dipped? ~ Yes
Caused someone to need stitches? ~ No
Ridden a surfboard? ~ No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? ~ Yes
Had surgery? ~ Yes
Streaked? ~ Yes
Taken by ambulance to hospital? ~ Yes
Passed out when not drinking? ~ Yes
Peed on a bush? ~ Yes
Donated Blood? ~ No
Grabbed electric fence? ~ Yes
Eaten alligator meat? ~ No
Eaten cheesecake? ~ Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? ~ No
Killed an animal when not hunting? ~ No
Peed your pants in public? ~ Yes
Written graffiti? ~ Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? ~ No
Think about the future? ~ Yes
Been in handcuffs? ~ No
Believe in love? ~ Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ~ No

Please read the rules at the top, Not all is as it seems...

I now have over 5000 page views.
How?
Why?

I do not know.

I have been blocked from commenting on an artists' artwork.
I have no idea why.
Being blocked also means that I have no way to talk to the artist and try to resolve the issue (what ever that maybe).

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

HAVE YOU...

[ X] smoked
[ X] consumed alcohol
[ ] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[ X] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[ X] kissed someone of the same sex
[ X] had sex
[ X] had someone in your room other than family
[ X] watched porn
[ X] bought porn
[ ] tried drugs

TOTAL SO FAR: 9

[ X] taken painkillers
[ X] taken someone else's prescription medicine: strong painkillers
[ X] lied to your parents
[ ] lied to a friend
[ ] snuck out of the house
[X ] done something illegal
[ X] felt hurt
[ X] hurt someone
[ X] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 16

[ ] missed curfew
[X ] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist: I should
[ ] received a ticket: Almost
[ ] been to rehab
[ ] dyed your hair
[X] been in an accident
[X ] been to a club
[X ] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 18

[ ] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[X ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[ ] sniffed anything
[ ] wore black nail polish
[ ] wore arm bands
[ ] wore t-shirts with band names
[X ] listened to rap
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD

TOTAL SO FAR: 20

[ ] dressed gothic
[] dressed girly
[] dressed punk
[] dressed grunge
[X] stole something
[X] been too drunk to remember anything
[X] blacked out
[X] fainted
[] had a crush on a neighbour

TOTAL SO FAR: 24

[] had a crush on a friend
[X] been to a concert
[X] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[ ] been called a slut
[ ] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[X] broken a mirror
[X] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL SO FAR: 28

[ ] considered Ludacris your favourite rapper
[X] seen an R-rated movie
[] cruised the mall
[X] skipped school
[X] had surgery
[X] had an injury
[ ] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[X] caught something on fire
[] lied about your age

TOTAL SO FAR: 33

[X] owned/rented an apartment/house
[X] broke the law in the police's presence
[ ] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[] got in trouble with the police
[X] talked to a stranger
[] hugged a stranger
[ ] kissed a stranger
[X] rode in the car with a stranger
[X] been harassed
[X] been verbally harassed

TOTAL SO FAR: 44

[X] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[X] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[X] been to a fair
[] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[] prank-called someone
[] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[X] cheated on a test


TOTAL SO FAR: 48

“I'm a very bad influence”
Could be worse…

What is it all about?
Is it about me?
Is it about you? What is it all about?
1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Favorite Colour: 4. Are you a virgin?:
5. Are we friends?: 6. Do you have a crush on me?:
7. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?:
8. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?:
9. Would you walk on the beach with me?:
10.Would you defend me if you heard a rumor about me, ?:
11. Do you talk about me?:
12. Do you think I'm a good person?:
13. Would you could change anything about me?:
14. If you could ask one question, what would it be?: 15. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?:

I used to have a lot of stuff in my gallery, but i had a bad depression attack a few weeks ago and I cleaned out my gallery.

But I feel much better now thanx to the support of my loving partner  warrigal.

Let the Flood continue!

In a fit of depression I wrecked my gallery.
I hate it.

Utah will arise from the ashes once more!

There is no longer a need for me to maintain the fiction that is Utah Red, he has been un-made.

Rest in peace Utah (Oct, 1995 to 31 Dec 2009),
Peter T.

I love you  warrigal

This story is for you (and me): http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3021512

*giggle snort*









Facebook:Peter Taylor
Warning: I may be frank.

The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test

"Borrowed" from

5 - the Observer



you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE (aka "The Thinker").


"I need to understand the world"

Click for picture

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.



How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.

• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.

• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.

• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.

• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.

• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.

• don't come on like a bulldozer.

• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.



What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively

• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects

• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure

• not being caught up in material possessions and status

• being calm in a crisis



What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world

• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all

• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be

• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally



FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on

• have a few special friends rather than many

• are very bright and curious and do well in school

• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers

• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information

• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid

• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict

• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected



FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted

• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding

• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate

• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

About right.