Well, I had planned on being more active on here, and updating the gallery and what not starting last year, but obviously, that didn't happen. It's frustrating, but given what's happened the last year in general, I would submit that it's also pretty goddamn understandable also. So figured I'd do one now, while I'm still thinking about it.

I'm leaving in a few days to take a trip to Portland, OR, in order to both visit some friends, and to scout it as a place to potentially move to later this year. I've lived here in Texas for close to eight years now, give or take, and while it's been good in a lot of ways, I realized about Nov of last year that it's not a good place for me in the long run, because I don't have any actual anchors here. I have no friends in this area, there're no real queer scene, it's just... it's not a place for me anymore. If I try and stay here, I feel it's not going to end well in the long run.

So, this trip to Portland is two-fold, both to visit some very dear friends of mine who live in the area, and to scout it as a place to live. It also has one of the biggest queer scenes in the States, and the VA there has some of the best transgender care for vets in the States also.

Also, as a heads up, I'm probably going to be taking down the current gallery and rebuilding it. I've had a fair amount of new art work done over the past few years, and I want to rework the bios/backgrounds/etc. of some of the characters posted, due to their original purposes never coming to pass. So I want to see if I can rework them for some of my new worlds instead.

That's pretty much it for now. Take care of yourselves.

Only took almost five hours, but finally got through close to 4K submissions. Unwatched a few artists for reasons, watched a couple new ones, and hopefully it won't take me almost two months to keep track of things again.

I'm slowly getting back to a semi-stable place where I hope to post more often. However, it looks like I may have lost a good bit of accumulated art over the last year or two, due to my own damn executive dysfunction and failing to back things up. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to recover, but regardless, I should hopefully have some new things to put up soon.

And get back into commenting, and being in touch with the awesome, wonderful people here. I've lost contact with so many people the last few years. ;__;

Only over a year overdue for the update I said I'd do after my transitional surgery consult, but things are getting there. I will TRY and have a decent update done later today, or over the weekend.

Be good out there, or at least don't get caught.

I'm still alive, believe it or not. I'm going for a consult with a surgeon for the gender affirmation surgery, but once I get back, I'll do a major update on stuff. It's been too damn long.

Hell, not even sure if people still follow. :P

 SodaBubbles has some slots open for commissions, and her art is kick-ass. Go check it out, and even if you don't get a slot, you get a new, wonderful artist to watch.

 Fearzy has some slots open for really, really cute chibis! Go snag one, last time I checked, she still had a few slots open. :)

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7640359/

The last few months have been chaotic. Still dealing some with the depression, but doubling the meds, and then adding another 25mg has helped a reasonable bit, though it's still there. There've also been some personal things I'm working on, like cutting sugar, diet sodas, caffeine (at least cutting back), and generally trying to get my health a bit better. I don't know that I'll ever hit 200 lbs like I was before my injuries, but if I can lose about 60 lbs, and get to 220, I'd be happy.

Last month had a bit of setback, the hard drive in the Beast bricked, and had to be replaced. I lost some documents, thankfully, had most of them backed up, and some pics, which I think I've recovered most from artists, but yeah, that was a set-back on things.

Still dealing with a lot of frustration with my writing, or lack thereof. I have a lot of new ideas I've been playing with, and once  SilenceArtwork is done with it, have a new creature born of one of these worlds, the kedrek. Similar to a kobold, but much more diverse.

So much I need to get done, not just writing, but in general. On the house, outside, etc. And I spend most the time on the computer. I don't know if it's the constant stimulation or what, but I have to figure something out so things get done.

So, yeah, general, semi-random update. I love you guys, and though I haven't commented in ages, I'm still seeing the gorgeous work, and loving them.

Over the last month, I've made a couple of posts pointing out that I've been having problems with depression again. The reality is, over the last two and a half months, I've already collapsed into into major, crushing depression, and have barely been treading the muck since then. Self-care is all but gone, hygiene is shot to hell, and often times, it takes half my energy just to get out of bed after sleeping ten/twelve hours.

Thankfully, I do have a psych appt. tomorrow morning, and I'm going to suggest a particular med that so far, has had positive reviews. I have to do something, because it's blindingly obvious that my current med is no longer working. Something has to change, I can't keep down this road, because I'm fucking miserable, and nothing's getting done. If anything, things that need to be done are horribly backed up, because I'm barely able to get two tasks done a week, if any.

The biggest pisser about this whole thing; because of what this depression's done to my body (my overeating has shot through the roof, combined with lethargy... yeah), my weight's shot up the highest it's ever been, coming within a hair's breadth of breaking three hundred. The chances of being able to do my transition this year, which was my biggest goal ever, is being pushed back to next year. I want to be pissed and furious about this... but I just can't. I don't have the energy anymore.

One small sliver of a positive; I'm breaking my 'no commissions this year' commitment. Art makes me happy, so, y'know, it helps. Now if I can just get the stories written for them, so I can actually post them. My backlog is ridiculous. x.x

So, yeah, that's what's been going on for the last few months.

Things are getting worse, I'm collapsing under the weight of this depression. I'm going to be away for a while, until I can hopefully get this under better control. Psych appt. next week, hoping something will come out of it. Fucking depression has more than likely cost me being able to transition this year.

Love you guys. Hopefully back soon.

I'm around, it's just been a rough few months, which is why I haven't commented much on people's work lately. Still love you guys, and love your works. Hopefully I'll be stable again soon, and can start commenting and uploading again.

Working on setting up for the transition surgery this upcoming year, so I'm going to be funneling pretty much all my running money into my surgery fund to speed the process up. Unfortunately, means no commissioning, which suuuuuucks, because I love watching people bringing my ideas to life.

I'm working on getting more artwork uploaded, however, they won't be in chronological order, because I don't remember the order, and they're in a massive mess in my upload folder. Also, several won't be uploaded until I can work out the stories that go with them, at which point they'll be uploaded. Just, y'know, a fyi with regards to commissioned artwork to come.

Fifty-seven minutes of me rambling about stuff. Hopefully will bring a smile to some faces. CN: brief talk of my injuries, how I was injured, uh... little bit of ableism (was part of one story, couldn't really avoid), lots of swearing, and me being a godawful goof in general.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WmjfG_ZsC4

A small, ten minute ramble on my experience with the dinosaurs of Gautanamo Bay, Cuba.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co0b_-hlkWU

Alright, QUESTION TIME.

I can't do the limb vid until I can get a webcam for my desktop that I can move around, since moving a laptop around's a pain in the ass. However, I've had people ask about my Cuba trip, and the monster iguanas there. I've also had people asking about some of the funny stories I've referenced in the past.

So, if I were to do another vid, which do you want, monster iguanas? Or funny stories? If stories, from my retail days, or due to my prosthetic?

I've had a few people ask what it's like being an amputee, so I decided to make a video showcasing some of what I deal with. This is the first of a few. Hope you enjoy.

https://youtu.be/1I1Y1VWz9VA

Slowly working on my horrendous backlog of pics to be uploaded. No rhyme or reason yet, so I apologize if some newer ones are posted before older ones. I'll get them all, then worry about organizing into the folders.

In the meantime, check out the previous journal.

So, got this from the ever wonderful and awesome  femsubamber, who got it from  Boha


🐟 The first 20? people that comment wanting to be on this journal will be featured below, and I'll choose three submissions I like most from their gallery.

🐟 If you comment, you must to do the same in your journal, putting the tagger (me) and three pieces of my art on the first place.

🐟 The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!

 femsubamber
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16344736/
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16822521/
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15398351/
(This one was hard as hell, so many gorgeous pieces!)

 xx0morgan0xx is doing an Iron Artist, 20 slots, $20 for a slot. If you can help out, his work is cute and adorable, and damn he can do some curves! Money's going towards a higher than expected electric bill, so help out if you can! <3

The ever awesome  SilenceArtwork is doing an adult YCH, which is a great way to get some rare adult work from them. You get all this:

Any gender for either characters
Any body size (can change the size of the rider or the bottom)
Any specie
minor kinks

And you're purchasing BOTH character slots. Go check it out, and give the bird some love!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17284764/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17284764/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17284764/

 CavDirshel has challenged me to do a NaNoWriMo. Next month. And because apparently I've lost my damn mind, I accepted. <.<;;

Pardon me while I go hide while working on the framework for this. *goes to find her common sense first*

I realized the other day that I've been on hormones for one year, almost three months now, and I don't have anything saved for the surgery. Technically, I could get it done now with the one year on HRT and year of 'real life experience' (whatever the fuck that means, I'm not changing who I am for some cis asshole doctor), but I'm pretty much broke at the moment. So I'm cutting way back on commissions, books, movies, pretty much everything, and putting $300 a month of my spending money into a new account, which mom's willing to match dollar for dollar. So even by the end of the year, I should have a decent amount saved up by the time I'm hoping to have it done next year (September).

Speaking of surgery, I've been doing research into what I want done, as there are two or three different techniques. The most common is the penile-inversion technique, the one pretty much everyone and their goldfish knows about. It's also the most common used in the States. The one I want, however, is the non-penile inversion technique (can link in comments if people are curious), which from the people I've talked with, generally has a much better success rate when it comes to stimulation and realism. The bad news is, it's not done anywhere in the States, it's done in Thailand. Which means insurance sure as hell won't cover it.

I. Want. The. Fucking. Best. So if I have to save up $15K-$20K to do it, then I will, And maybe see if I can pick up some common phrases in the Thailand language.

So, yeah, that's about it. There's my transition update.