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Halloween Bunny For Sale
General | Posted 8 months agoIf you know anyone who likes bunnies and halloween and would love a halloween themed bunny send them my way because I have an amazing one for sale still
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60431371/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60431371/
She's worth $700 I'm only asking $200 Life is rough and need to part ways with stuff irl and online and Sage has been on the chopping block for awhile makes me sad no one wanted to buy her this entire time I've had her for sale for like what feels like forever over a year of trying to sell her :l
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60431371/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60431371/
She's worth $700 I'm only asking $200 Life is rough and need to part ways with stuff irl and online and Sage has been on the chopping block for awhile makes me sad no one wanted to buy her this entire time I've had her for sale for like what feels like forever over a year of trying to sell her :l
Don't know....how much...more.
General | Posted a year agoI don't know how much longer I can keep going....
I'm not getting better.... my mind set isn't healthy...
I'm just tired of breathing and it seems much easier to just not...
I'm just sick and tired of everything and never going anywhere in life
I'm so sick and tired of trying and trying and pushing to survive even though
I just keep getting pushed back and no matter how hard I try I just don't go anywhere
I'm tired of struggling and all I can see is the end of me getting closer
I just can't keep going it hurts to much I'm so sick of struggling all for fucking nothing
I just...yeah I'm broken I'm tired of hiding it I hate it I hate everything I hate this god damn life...
I can't be happy, I can't enjoy life, I can't do anything, I just struggle and struggle
I just wish I could have some freak accident that it wasn't my fault...
The thoughts of going 100+ into a wall or something is just ideal just me and myself that's it
I know some people might be sad that I'm gone but like I'm so tired of it all
I'm so tired of fucking struggling in this god forsaken world that's not even worth fucking live in
I'm not getting better.... my mind set isn't healthy...
I'm just tired of breathing and it seems much easier to just not...
I'm just sick and tired of everything and never going anywhere in life
I'm so sick and tired of trying and trying and pushing to survive even though
I just keep getting pushed back and no matter how hard I try I just don't go anywhere
I'm tired of struggling and all I can see is the end of me getting closer
I just can't keep going it hurts to much I'm so sick of struggling all for fucking nothing
I just...yeah I'm broken I'm tired of hiding it I hate it I hate everything I hate this god damn life...
I can't be happy, I can't enjoy life, I can't do anything, I just struggle and struggle
I just wish I could have some freak accident that it wasn't my fault...
The thoughts of going 100+ into a wall or something is just ideal just me and myself that's it
I know some people might be sad that I'm gone but like I'm so tired of it all
I'm so tired of fucking struggling in this god forsaken world that's not even worth fucking live in
I'm lost in a void that I can't understand
General | Posted a year agoRainbow Bridge. ((Sad Little Vent ))
General | Posted 3 years agoThe other day 3/15/23 I had let my sweet baby Reila, kitty, be put to sleep to cross over to join all the other furbabies.
She lived a very well-spoiled 10-13 year life, I'm unsure how old she really was when I first got her. However, she was still a Kitten, she ran up to us while we were walking to a Walmart for Black Friday and she choose us, I still remember her scaring me; it was pretty dark outside and there were raccoons and possums in the area; as we heard grass being stomped and then suddenly something climbing straight up me to rest on my shoulder as she began meowing up a storm!
We turned around and set a cat carrier out with some towels and put some food and water out for her as well and we went back on the trip to Walmart, the entire time we were at Walmart I couldn't stop thinking about the little kitten, and how I hope she would stay there.
Little over an hour had passed and we made it home she came bolting out of the little cat carrier we had meowing up a storm to us and at that point, I was like YES! YES! YES! THE KITTEN STAYED!
At that point, we took her inside and kept her in a separate bedroom due to the other cats and we slowly let them smell the new one and introduced them to the new one.
We talked about names shortly after taking her in and decided that Reila was fitting due to the song we were listening to when she came up to us, this was Reila by The Gazette's song link below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh7Clcc77bg
Ever since we raised her, my mom took ownership of her since I already had a cat, I was a bit heartbroken when I moved states away from Reila because I was attached to her so much but I already had another cat, plus an axolotl to tend to as well. This was back in 2019 when I moved states, in 2020 December I ended up being reunited with Reila again, and ever since then, she slept on me in my room no matter what.
It wasn't till late 2022 when she started forming a small mass apparently on her mammary glands
I tried to do what I could but had no funding whatsoever to take her to a vet and was being declined for credit cards, till early 2023, I was approved for Care Credit for only $1,400 which I took her to a vet and they quoted to be $5,500 for the surgery and everything but they said there was A LOT of cons to this surgery than pros, I called Care Credit and tried to get my limit reached but was only approved up to $4,000
I got in touch with them and asked if there was anything else I could do and the vet told me to reach out to a few other places they listed that might offer cheaper services.
But they had also informed me of the other bad news as well, they could feel smaller masses in her tummy from her upper chest all the way down to her crotch.
After taking her to that vet they gave me a quote for a little under $2,000 to which I agreed, but they said they were very skeptical a bit themselves on the surgery due to how much was being done, which was pretty much removing both sides of mammary glands plus spaying her. I was supposed to have this surgery done on 3/20/23 and started looking up but also felt guilty for me trying to save and extend her life just a bit longer for my own selfishness of keeping her alive for my own joy but knew deep down she'd be suffering for awhile.
The vets told me they were 95% sure it was cancer-related but couldn't fully prove it till they did the surgery,
but for some time my poor baby was doing the thousand-yard stare and wouldn't react to much, at times we'd come up the stairs and she'd just sit there like no one was even coming, I'd call her name a few times and she wouldn't even react, plus she was slowly starting to avoid people. So at that time, I started feeling like she was starting to succumb to everything and it was probably only a matter of time before it happened.
I struggled with the choice of everything for two weeks taking it out on myself, from the back and forth of just do the surgery she'll be better to she's suffering do the right thing pretty much, it was rough, but I had made the call...
It doesn't get any easier no matter how many furbabies you have, but I can safely say she's no longer suffering and she's across the rainbow bridge and is playing with all the other kitties.
She lived a very well-spoiled 10-13 year life, I'm unsure how old she really was when I first got her. However, she was still a Kitten, she ran up to us while we were walking to a Walmart for Black Friday and she choose us, I still remember her scaring me; it was pretty dark outside and there were raccoons and possums in the area; as we heard grass being stomped and then suddenly something climbing straight up me to rest on my shoulder as she began meowing up a storm!
We turned around and set a cat carrier out with some towels and put some food and water out for her as well and we went back on the trip to Walmart, the entire time we were at Walmart I couldn't stop thinking about the little kitten, and how I hope she would stay there.
Little over an hour had passed and we made it home she came bolting out of the little cat carrier we had meowing up a storm to us and at that point, I was like YES! YES! YES! THE KITTEN STAYED!
At that point, we took her inside and kept her in a separate bedroom due to the other cats and we slowly let them smell the new one and introduced them to the new one.
We talked about names shortly after taking her in and decided that Reila was fitting due to the song we were listening to when she came up to us, this was Reila by The Gazette's song link below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh7Clcc77bg
Ever since we raised her, my mom took ownership of her since I already had a cat, I was a bit heartbroken when I moved states away from Reila because I was attached to her so much but I already had another cat, plus an axolotl to tend to as well. This was back in 2019 when I moved states, in 2020 December I ended up being reunited with Reila again, and ever since then, she slept on me in my room no matter what.
It wasn't till late 2022 when she started forming a small mass apparently on her mammary glands
I tried to do what I could but had no funding whatsoever to take her to a vet and was being declined for credit cards, till early 2023, I was approved for Care Credit for only $1,400 which I took her to a vet and they quoted to be $5,500 for the surgery and everything but they said there was A LOT of cons to this surgery than pros, I called Care Credit and tried to get my limit reached but was only approved up to $4,000
I got in touch with them and asked if there was anything else I could do and the vet told me to reach out to a few other places they listed that might offer cheaper services.
But they had also informed me of the other bad news as well, they could feel smaller masses in her tummy from her upper chest all the way down to her crotch.
After taking her to that vet they gave me a quote for a little under $2,000 to which I agreed, but they said they were very skeptical a bit themselves on the surgery due to how much was being done, which was pretty much removing both sides of mammary glands plus spaying her. I was supposed to have this surgery done on 3/20/23 and started looking up but also felt guilty for me trying to save and extend her life just a bit longer for my own selfishness of keeping her alive for my own joy but knew deep down she'd be suffering for awhile.
The vets told me they were 95% sure it was cancer-related but couldn't fully prove it till they did the surgery,
but for some time my poor baby was doing the thousand-yard stare and wouldn't react to much, at times we'd come up the stairs and she'd just sit there like no one was even coming, I'd call her name a few times and she wouldn't even react, plus she was slowly starting to avoid people. So at that time, I started feeling like she was starting to succumb to everything and it was probably only a matter of time before it happened.
I struggled with the choice of everything for two weeks taking it out on myself, from the back and forth of just do the surgery she'll be better to she's suffering do the right thing pretty much, it was rough, but I had made the call...
It doesn't get any easier no matter how many furbabies you have, but I can safely say she's no longer suffering and she's across the rainbow bridge and is playing with all the other kitties.
This is a bit of a rant but also a bit about me....
General | Posted 5 years agoI know I rarely talk to anyone on here other then a few comments on your artwork or through notes rather it's commissions or just idolizing your lovely character(s)
For starters I want to say anyone whose going through any tough times in life, if you ever want to vent or talk feel free to message me. I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was roughly eight years old, I'm now twenty-eight so twenty years of depression and suicidal thoughts with multiple attempts at ending my own life. I know my life could be 100% worse then a lot of people in this world but each and every single one of us struggles in are own way and I just want to let you all know you MATTER, people CARE about you, rather you think no one does or not. So again feel free to reach out to vent or anything I'm all ears <33
So in a way this is also an interesting coming out post on FA as well, since the age of jez...Seven or Eight, I'll just say Eight, I began questioning my own self I'm born male yet around Eight I began questioning it myself unsure of what I was even thinking, I just knew I felt different and rather unhappy about a lot of things, too the point where I was taking my sisters or cousins clothing and just wearing them whenever I was alone, still unsure of what was even going on. It wasn't till I was probably fourteen or fifteen that my mother had stumbled upon this to where she had sat me down and had a talk with me. Now mind you all those years I've been really unhappy with who I was to the point of attempting to end my life in hopes of a new life were I was born as a female instead. My mom had told me a bunch of things from simply how I felt, informed me about cross dressing, the whole being straight, gay, bi, so forth as well as even transgender, to which amazingly my mother began supporting me in my choice and even helped me buy clothing for myself. But it felt unreal and I felt a bit more disgusted with myself as I felt shut out and I wasn't aware of how to even begin actually doing these things specifically without constant support within my teen years where bulling and the whole LGBTQ wasn't really blowing up as much as it has been these past years. Which lead to me avoiding A LOT of people, friends, family, so forth so I suffer from social anxiety to the point of all I want to do is escape, if I can't escape and hide I get an extremely nausea feeling like I'm going to throw up and pass out.
Over the course of 15 to 28 (current age) I've progressed very little with being comfortable with who I am, as I hate to feel it but I still don't feel safe, I have no one around me to continue giving me support in person to help with my social anxiety if I were to ever go out ( pathetic in a way but that's how I am after all these years ) most of my progress has just been under garments and some pants, with a few skirts and lounge pants that I wear while I'm alone at home, I've gone to therapy a few times to seek help but I can't afford the whole $100-300 some therapists are charging for just 30minutes to an hour if that for a session (Yeah I get it, it's their time and time is money in a way) which leads to another thing, my family hasn't always been great with money while I grew up, I had no concept of money and I hate to admit it even to this day I have VERY bad concept of money I've grown to harshly with impulse buys like...I look at my bank and see money just sitting there and my mind is like ew gross I don't want this so I just spend it on stupid things, to the point where I was like 10k in debt on credit cards and being stupid with money which I want to say is happily down to I think 4k of debt in two years work.
But, good news to that, I've moved out on my own for two years and have a better concept of money for the most part, as I actually have bills and everything to pay so I can't buy as much, but I still impulse buy but not as much ( even more so that I've been giving up my gaming habit which has been draining my money the most all these years )
I've had a recent over haul in my life after I came to a realization that I could very much have gone homeless, I've set major goals for myself, plans for my future for the most part and for once in my life I'm actually wanting to thrive and live as a goal I've set for myself to finally accept myself for who I am and hopefully be able to constantly see a therapist and hopefully be guided more down and go through with the whole transgender acceptance to seek the whole estrogen treatment and whatever else joys that new life of mine holds.
For anyone who is reading this, thank you for taking your time to read this, from here on out I am in a much better mind set, it feels like a huge weight was lifted off me but I will continue to be weighed down by a few things till I can over come them. But again to anyone who struggles and just want a shoulder to lean on and vent I'm here for you <3
For starters I want to say anyone whose going through any tough times in life, if you ever want to vent or talk feel free to message me. I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was roughly eight years old, I'm now twenty-eight so twenty years of depression and suicidal thoughts with multiple attempts at ending my own life. I know my life could be 100% worse then a lot of people in this world but each and every single one of us struggles in are own way and I just want to let you all know you MATTER, people CARE about you, rather you think no one does or not. So again feel free to reach out to vent or anything I'm all ears <33
So in a way this is also an interesting coming out post on FA as well, since the age of jez...Seven or Eight, I'll just say Eight, I began questioning my own self I'm born male yet around Eight I began questioning it myself unsure of what I was even thinking, I just knew I felt different and rather unhappy about a lot of things, too the point where I was taking my sisters or cousins clothing and just wearing them whenever I was alone, still unsure of what was even going on. It wasn't till I was probably fourteen or fifteen that my mother had stumbled upon this to where she had sat me down and had a talk with me. Now mind you all those years I've been really unhappy with who I was to the point of attempting to end my life in hopes of a new life were I was born as a female instead. My mom had told me a bunch of things from simply how I felt, informed me about cross dressing, the whole being straight, gay, bi, so forth as well as even transgender, to which amazingly my mother began supporting me in my choice and even helped me buy clothing for myself. But it felt unreal and I felt a bit more disgusted with myself as I felt shut out and I wasn't aware of how to even begin actually doing these things specifically without constant support within my teen years where bulling and the whole LGBTQ wasn't really blowing up as much as it has been these past years. Which lead to me avoiding A LOT of people, friends, family, so forth so I suffer from social anxiety to the point of all I want to do is escape, if I can't escape and hide I get an extremely nausea feeling like I'm going to throw up and pass out.
Over the course of 15 to 28 (current age) I've progressed very little with being comfortable with who I am, as I hate to feel it but I still don't feel safe, I have no one around me to continue giving me support in person to help with my social anxiety if I were to ever go out ( pathetic in a way but that's how I am after all these years ) most of my progress has just been under garments and some pants, with a few skirts and lounge pants that I wear while I'm alone at home, I've gone to therapy a few times to seek help but I can't afford the whole $100-300 some therapists are charging for just 30minutes to an hour if that for a session (Yeah I get it, it's their time and time is money in a way) which leads to another thing, my family hasn't always been great with money while I grew up, I had no concept of money and I hate to admit it even to this day I have VERY bad concept of money I've grown to harshly with impulse buys like...I look at my bank and see money just sitting there and my mind is like ew gross I don't want this so I just spend it on stupid things, to the point where I was like 10k in debt on credit cards and being stupid with money which I want to say is happily down to I think 4k of debt in two years work.
But, good news to that, I've moved out on my own for two years and have a better concept of money for the most part, as I actually have bills and everything to pay so I can't buy as much, but I still impulse buy but not as much ( even more so that I've been giving up my gaming habit which has been draining my money the most all these years )
I've had a recent over haul in my life after I came to a realization that I could very much have gone homeless, I've set major goals for myself, plans for my future for the most part and for once in my life I'm actually wanting to thrive and live as a goal I've set for myself to finally accept myself for who I am and hopefully be able to constantly see a therapist and hopefully be guided more down and go through with the whole transgender acceptance to seek the whole estrogen treatment and whatever else joys that new life of mine holds.
For anyone who is reading this, thank you for taking your time to read this, from here on out I am in a much better mind set, it feels like a huge weight was lifted off me but I will continue to be weighed down by a few things till I can over come them. But again to anyone who struggles and just want a shoulder to lean on and vent I'm here for you <3
