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Thoughts: Stalking, predatory behaviour, you & the Internet
General | Posted 13 years agoFirst things first: I'm not an FA admin; yes I do admin for other sites and services in the furry community but I do not make policy on FA at all.
Now that is out of the way; there have been a couple of journals posted involving the actions taken regarding a popular female artist and a large number of people are looking at moving onto new sites because they feel the current administration on FA is somehow prejudiced against them. In particular people are worried that the staff here on FA are somehow "predator friendly" because in their eyes the victim was punished.
Make no mistake; I do not think the incident was handled as well it could have been but I would note that from the journals I have read the user's own actions did go against what has been recommended action in the past and more importantly it was a violation of the FA Code of Conduct. If you take a close look at the FA CoC ( http://help.furaffinity.net/article.....nduct-COC.html ) it specifically states not harass other users OR encourage others to do so.
In effect this user by posting up a journal describing the alleged predator's actions became the harasser. It was unintentional - I understand completely why they did it - after all telling people to be wary about someone who has apparently been causing them a lot of problems just seems the right thing to do - but the knock on effects can often outweigh the intention.
The Furry community has a long way to go on how it treats each other but in particular females within the fandom; there are certainly boundaries that do seem to be crossed on a regular basis and a lot of education needs to continue but we ourselves can help by making sure we do not feed the problem. We can do this in the following ways when dealing with harassing users on a personal basis:
1. Be forceful and direct. Note what behaviour you find inappropriate. Be polite but be firm. State it once (and only once) and also state what actions you will take if this behaviour is not corrected.
2. Take action - your actions should be to Block + Ignore + Cease all contact. Ensure you have made use of all the tools available on the community site or communication method you are using. Talk to help staff if you are not sure of what all your options are; they are here to help you help yourself in dealing with these matters.
3. Document ongoing activity; make sure any continuing action that bypasses your blocks and ignores are logged and given to the appropriate administration. Each time in a calm, polite but firm manner restate that you find this behaviour inappropriate and then block/ignore. Make sure to continue to block+ignore+cease all contact on any new action. Do not engage in any discussion; just state you find the behaviour bad and will be taking X action (in this case informing the administration). This is important; the more you acknowledge them - the more you give them the attention they are after.
4. Be aware of your country laws and regulations regarding stalking and online predator actions. You always have the right to hand this over to the police or a lawyer; especially once they step over legal boundaries. By not "retaliating" and documenting how you have tried to remove yourself from the situation; you have strengthened your case (and in turn weakened theirs).
5. Finally take a breath; go outside. Grab some tea. If the situation is causing you this much stress; now is the time to just take a break from it and come back when you are not on edge. Don't let Internet louts ruin your day.
Only when you have exhausted all your personal block, administrative and legal options should you look at public exposition. You'll have your body of documented evidence. Keep within the policy framework of every community (this includes physical if they are in your area or attend cons you go to in order to harass you) you need to expose the individual on. Be aware that this can be considered harassment in its own right - especially if you call for action by your followers so try to keep it clinical. You are there to expose their behaviour to the world; nothing more. Submit your evidence. Highlight the action you have taken and leave this as a public notice that you find your stalker/predators actions offensive. Do not encourage retaliatory action. Do not rise to baits or taunts. And do not give in to threats by them. Don't get personal. Just keep to the facts. And then finally...
Now that is out of the way; there have been a couple of journals posted involving the actions taken regarding a popular female artist and a large number of people are looking at moving onto new sites because they feel the current administration on FA is somehow prejudiced against them. In particular people are worried that the staff here on FA are somehow "predator friendly" because in their eyes the victim was punished.
Make no mistake; I do not think the incident was handled as well it could have been but I would note that from the journals I have read the user's own actions did go against what has been recommended action in the past and more importantly it was a violation of the FA Code of Conduct. If you take a close look at the FA CoC ( http://help.furaffinity.net/article.....nduct-COC.html ) it specifically states not harass other users OR encourage others to do so.
In effect this user by posting up a journal describing the alleged predator's actions became the harasser. It was unintentional - I understand completely why they did it - after all telling people to be wary about someone who has apparently been causing them a lot of problems just seems the right thing to do - but the knock on effects can often outweigh the intention.
The Furry community has a long way to go on how it treats each other but in particular females within the fandom; there are certainly boundaries that do seem to be crossed on a regular basis and a lot of education needs to continue but we ourselves can help by making sure we do not feed the problem. We can do this in the following ways when dealing with harassing users on a personal basis:
1. Be forceful and direct. Note what behaviour you find inappropriate. Be polite but be firm. State it once (and only once) and also state what actions you will take if this behaviour is not corrected.
2. Take action - your actions should be to Block + Ignore + Cease all contact. Ensure you have made use of all the tools available on the community site or communication method you are using. Talk to help staff if you are not sure of what all your options are; they are here to help you help yourself in dealing with these matters.
3. Document ongoing activity; make sure any continuing action that bypasses your blocks and ignores are logged and given to the appropriate administration. Each time in a calm, polite but firm manner restate that you find this behaviour inappropriate and then block/ignore. Make sure to continue to block+ignore+cease all contact on any new action. Do not engage in any discussion; just state you find the behaviour bad and will be taking X action (in this case informing the administration). This is important; the more you acknowledge them - the more you give them the attention they are after.
4. Be aware of your country laws and regulations regarding stalking and online predator actions. You always have the right to hand this over to the police or a lawyer; especially once they step over legal boundaries. By not "retaliating" and documenting how you have tried to remove yourself from the situation; you have strengthened your case (and in turn weakened theirs).
5. Finally take a breath; go outside. Grab some tea. If the situation is causing you this much stress; now is the time to just take a break from it and come back when you are not on edge. Don't let Internet louts ruin your day.
Only when you have exhausted all your personal block, administrative and legal options should you look at public exposition. You'll have your body of documented evidence. Keep within the policy framework of every community (this includes physical if they are in your area or attend cons you go to in order to harass you) you need to expose the individual on. Be aware that this can be considered harassment in its own right - especially if you call for action by your followers so try to keep it clinical. You are there to expose their behaviour to the world; nothing more. Submit your evidence. Highlight the action you have taken and leave this as a public notice that you find your stalker/predators actions offensive. Do not encourage retaliatory action. Do not rise to baits or taunts. And do not give in to threats by them. Don't get personal. Just keep to the facts. And then finally...
Keep Calm and Carry On.
Don't let this run your life.A curious Meme...[CLOSED]
General | Posted 15 years agoLeave a comment and I'll...
1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname.
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.
In that precise order...
Challenged by
Firey89
NOTE: I'll probably do the responses in batches. Be patient as I do not check FA regularly.
EDIT: CLOSED - No more for now.
1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname.
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.
In that precise order...
Challenged by
Firey89NOTE: I'll probably do the responses in batches. Be patient as I do not check FA regularly.
EDIT: CLOSED - No more for now.
