Hi guys, I apologize for uploading so quickly. It's late at night and I wanted to share my progression with you. It's been about two weeks of sketching to get to the latest piece, http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17843451/

All I can say is fffff I am having SO much fun. Not just drawing, (But yes, actually, drawing! Seeing every line, curve, and shape,. and trying to reproduce it with my pencil. Not just how, but WHY it's shaped like that.) but envisioning how I would draw my fictional race of Naakaanee (Nuh-Kah-Nee) people.... I don't call them a different species, but a race, because they are essentially humans covered in fur who look like wolves. A wolf is half of a Naakaanee, their spirit of pure, unselfish love, devotion, loyalty, and selflessness, and a human being is the other half of a Naakaanee, with our collective humanity.

I just like the idea of a race of creatures out there who has that warm canine spirit I have come to enjoy so much, but with the sapient abilities of a human being.

Over the span of three years I have written a few novels (thousands of pages spanning several novels and many stories, long and short) relating to the 'Naks' as they are known on Earth. Being able to finally illustrate my novels would be something I've always dreamed of but never thought I could do.

Having people fave sketches I drew makes me want to hug strangers.

So yesterday I am shopping for some sparkling water to take with me to work. I love that lemon flavored arrowhead sparkling water.

The alarm thingy beeps when I go inside, so I didn't pay any attention to it.

I am in the beverage isle when I hear, "Excuse me..." From behind me.

I turn to see a woman my age, with a dollar bill in her hand.

I thought she was loss prevention, trying to stop me from stealing something...

She hands me the dollar bill and says, "I saw you drop this in the parking lot."

It's a dollar bill...

She wasn't handing it to me because she was worried about my financial well being. I am wearing my work uniform, I am a plumber.

I now realize she wanted to meet me.

Due to my gnawing loneliness two decades old, I look her in the eye. I have a way of... Looking people in the eye and intensely scrutinizing them, and it makes some people look away. It's not something I try and do on purpose. But it happens... When I am nervous.

She doesn't look away. She does this little curtsey, subtle body language, as if to say, "Go ahead and ask me my name."

Of course all I could do was smile.

"Uh. Thank you. Very much. Heh." Was all I could say. I simply did not know what to do next.

I turned away from her and she walked away. I do not think I would have liked the look on her face.

And I complain to God that I am so lonely.

Soooo. Today I get off of work and go back to the store, and I meander about it, for literally two hours. I spent two thirds of that time just standing in the beverage isle... waiting for her to come back.

I did not know what I was going to say, but I would get her name, and her number.

Could she have just wanted to walk about a thousand feet just to hand me a wrinkled up dollar bill, and not been interested in me as a person at all? Of course.

But.. I do not think that was the case.

All the while I kept going over everything I know about the opposite sex. Am I ready for this? Am I thinking too much into it? What is my role as a man, what does she expect from me...

Am I ready for such an awesome responsibility. I haven't even built my house, yet.

I did not feel anything for her at the time. But thinking about it now, I recall her spirit, and it was attractive. Maybe it would be something forced, I do not think she was the "one", and yes, I believe in true love. I don't see much point in hoping for a future if true love does not exist.

I want my success as a man to be how much of myself I surrendered into loving and caring for a woman, how much I gave to her... Not how much she gives to me.

The time came and went, I even went back into the store for something else real quick, and to return some pickles that didn't pop up when I turned the lid. If she was there I did not see her. I was hoping she saw my big blue diesel pickup in the parking lot and knew I was there... Heh.

I know... I am pathetic.

Yesterday the Supreme Court ruled that Obamacare be upheld. Given how it became "law" this is nothing short of corruption.

When the highest court of the land refuses to be just, you know things are getting are getting worse.

Now, comes a ruling that says that, despite the vast majority of Americans opposing it, every state must recognize homosexual marriage.

In my opinion these two rulings wreak of the same lawlessness.

Now comes the difficult part for me to admit. I am not some person repulsed by homosexuality who does not and cannot understand what it's like to be attracted to someone of my own sex more than I want to live life.

On the contrary, this far in my life I have only ever slept with men. The last time I had full on sex with another man was 17 years ago. I screwed up with my best friend not long ago but it did not get too far. That is the closest I've been to someone sexually in almost twenty years.

I've not so much as seen a woman naked in real life. The only time I've ever been french kissed was by a married woman who was trying to hit on me.

Some of you may know this about me, the reason I have remained aloof from the opposite sex is due to trauma in my childhood. Women have the ultimate power over men. We are physically stronger, but a woman can destroy a man.

I am living proof of that.

I never got over what was done to me, and what was said to make me feel so far away from the idea of being close to a woman. My male peers molested me at the same time, the transition was easy.

I am simply too damaged.

So... When I say what I say, it is not as a casual observer, it is as someone who has lived that lifestyle. Who struggles... Every second, every minute, every hour of every day for a week... or more, sometimes. I shake and sweat enduring the temptations sometimes. Dealing death to my flesh, to what I want more than anything, even life and God.

I often hang only by a thread.

This case of legalizing homosexual marriage is a shot across the bow. This is a warning...

I know many of you are practicing homosexuals. Many... This website seems to flaunt homosexuality.

I see pictures of anthropomorphic animals engaged in various forms of sodomy... It is so unrealistic. Smiles are had, usually just the slightest amount of discomfort is noted... The contrast of reality is enough to make one sick.

My first time I almost passed out from the agony of it. It was horrible. I thought it was what I wanted... As in my childhood I was exposed to, and taught that I needed to be with someone of the same sex. I remember molestation at the hands of my peers, and little else, except for flashbacks of abuse. God only knows what happened when my mind was blanking out and I was losing years of life. I do want to know. I do want to understand what happened to me when I was a child. It is a need. I need to know. Or I cannot progress.

Yet, strangely, after I recovered, I wanted more. It got riskier and riskier. Because each new experience never seemed to live up to the temptation. Yet, I craved intimacy the only way I knew how. The easiest way of all: A horny young man seeking sex from horny, older men. Yeah, like that's NOT going to happen.

At the time I was also selling and doing drugs. It only boosted my libido.

"There's nothing wrong with that"

According to the CDC, Gay men comprise of just 2% of the population, yet they are responsible for 3/4 of all new HIV infections. For people to ignore this statistic shows a major logic block in the mind.

Why do people turn their heads at what gay men are suffering? Why do well meaning people with zero experience with the gay lifestyle continue to say, "There's nothing wrong with that"?

In my opinion, because ditching my biological purpose as a man, and seeking to circumvent that by chasing other men, I am denying Gods purpose for my life. Which is to find, woo, and marry a woman. That is in celibacy. Sex destroys marriages if it is done before marriage, in my opinion.

There aren't too many people who cringe at what the Bible says more than I do. It doesn't sit right with me, and to be honest, I am disgusted some of what is said there. But that doesn't make it untrue.

Gods laws are tough, but they are there for a reason. 75% of all new cases of HIV and AIDS are proof of the dangerous, lawless, godless lifestyle most homosexuals live.

Gays are at risk for suicide. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/art.....es/PMC3662085/

It's not because of persecution, although feeling isolated or hated is certainly depressing. I've been called a faggot, been picked on, slandered, even by men who were gay. In fact I had to quit a job I loved because I was being harassed by a gay man who wouldn't leave me alone.

But in my opinion, the root cause of depression isn't people not accepting them. Since when does your life happiness depend on what other people think? That is very weak.

If love was real, pure, and true, it wouldn't matter what anyone thought. It wouldn't matter if the entire world was chasing you and your mate down with pitchforks and torches, you would cling to her twice as tightly then.

No, again. Turning your back on God, and on obvious physiological functioning of your mind, heart, body and soul will always result in depression.

Gods way is harder to follow for some than others. For someone who has had their soul twisted to desire someone of the same sex for all of their sexual satisfaction, Gods ways are very difficult.

It is because Satan is real, very real, and yes, despite what ministers have said, he knows not only your thoughts, but also, and much worse, he knows what you are feeling. Satan is the master manipulator... Which is why God says manipulation of people is witchcraft. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king” (1 Samuel 23)

http://bibleresources.org/witchcraft/

I recall from an early age how I hated God, and how I became bitter towards Him. How I had strange impulses and desires that consumed me, tormented me until I satisfied them. Things that were perverse, ungodly. Seeking forms of sexual satisfaction that had nothing to do with nature.

I began to see myself spiral out of control, and I knew I was heading for disaster. I had two drug overdoses. I would sleep with men anywhere, any time. In parks... It was getting worse. I knew if I didn't stop it I would end up with HIV. I took a HIV test and was pronounced negative, and I fled from the lifestyle.

Romans 1:25-27 25For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 26For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.…

Since anal sex is all I have ever known, I have seen my fair share of porn. Straight and gay. Seeing the reaction of a woman who is being sodomized for the first time is truly awful. What is being done to her body, her soul, her mind, and her heart, by a man who says he loves her, when she is baring her body to him, for him to injure her like that is absolutely detestable. It is dirty and degrading for her. It is leaving the natural use of her body, and I believe, is a damnable sin if not repented of and stopped.

I am getting off track... I wanted to say that today was a dark day for this country. They are attempting to legitimize and legislate what is dirty, filthy, immoral. One- sided in pleasure. No male soul was designed to come as close sexually with another male soul- this is why men and women are different. Born different. In nearly every way.

True love can exist between men, even stronger love than can be had for a woman, as in the case of David and Jonathan.

But that love never progressed sexually. I can say that had me and my best friend engaged in full on sex we would not be friends any more today. It is a mistake. There is no such thing as friends with benefits. If it ever happens, I can no longer so much as talk to him. My soul is simply too precious to risk.

I know that as much as God loves me, if I return to the homosexual lifestyle, God will not have mercy on me. If I die in my sins I will face judgment. I almost went here, if it were not for the mercy of God: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWXkBBIaiVc

Hell is very real. Those people in that video are awaiting Gods judgment, to be sent into the lake of fire where they will writhe and burn in horrifically indescribable agony not for a year, not for a hundred years, not for a thousand years, or even a million- but for forever. For eternity. It will never end for them. They will not get used to it. Revelation says this about those who end up in Hell because they took the mark of the Beast. I imagine everyone who ends up in the lake of fire will suffer similarly: "

And the smoke of their torment will rise for ever and ever. There will be no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and its image, or for anyone who receives the mark of its name."

It's not torment like your brother torments you with a doll or insect. It is torment like being submerged in rock that is so hot it is liquid- and never being fully consumed, always burning.

How the ministers of today have utterly failed the American church. No one teaches on substance, they want to stick to the love of Jesus... and nothing else. No minister wants to cast demons out of people, though the majority of people are infected with them.

The thought that because Jesus died for our sins, homosexuality is now no longer an abomination is unbiblical. It is still leaving the natural use of your body. It is still the forsaking of your purpose on earth.

For every effeminate, overly sensitive gay male out there, there is a woman, who, had he of stood up, fought his desires, sought God and deliverance, turned from his ways, who would have made him the happiest man on Earth. Instead, he is pursuing fleeting, almost nonexistent pleasure.

It is the same for lesbian women. This world is brutal, and sick, and many men are selfish, cruel, and evil. Giving up on the hope of someone loving you is not the answer. Succumbing to the false idea that all men are evil, or selfish, or only want sex will keep you in a lifestyle that will prove ultimately empty, as like I once did, you are turning from your role in life. Anger, bitterness, fights, violence may result.

nobody can ever fully run from the desires God has put in them.

God is Love, yes, but His love is not like our love. Nobody considers that despite Gods Love, most people are going to Hell:

Matthew 7:14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Few ministers want to tackle the fact that God loved most of the people who are going to suffer for eternity, never to end.

Matthew 7:22,23 22"Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' 23"And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

That goes for Christians who support homosexuality. "There's nothing wrong with that!" There's plenty wrong. Although i disagree that same sex frottage is okay, "The anus is not a vagina" web page has detailed explanations on why anal sex is a slow death. The lining of the intestine has only one cell thickness before it hits highly vascular (Meaning lots of blood) tissue.

The colon has one goal, and that is to keep feces, which are 80% bad bacteria) from getting into the blood stream, and to absorb as much useable nutrients and liquid from it as possible. It was never designed to be penetrated, as the anus was never designed to have anything enter it, which is why your instinct is to clench when something tries to go in.

This is not some ancient, cryptical knowledge to be dug out of cave drawing of the ancients, this is simply fact.

The anus and colon were never designed to be safely penetrated. It is a risky behavior. Artificial lubricant is needed every single time, in almost every case of sodomy. It is painful, demeaning, and humiliating for one party (Most homosexual get used to it. Or they learn to enjoy it) and pleasurable for the other.

God designed sex to the the height of closeness, of bonding two human beings can achieve. Not something to be endured, or suffered, or gotten used to, or enjoying the way someone demeans and subjugates you as an object. That is not love.

The Supreme Court has attempted to legitimize what is perverted. The mixing of semen, blood, and feces as sacred enough to warrant a marriage vow. The shirking of our biological design. Ditching the long, difficult, painful path of self improvement for the quick, easy satisfaction that takes little to no effort in my experience.

I am thirty five years old and have been alone for almost twenty years. If you think it is painful, you are correct. God has given me desires that have become curses because of my twisted desires. There is much pain and self denial.

For the Christians:

You cannot support homosexuality, or glorify it. It was an abomination to God in the OT and it still is today.

1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

God made provision for two men to love one another. But it was never to get sexual. Today homosexuality has ruined much of what could be considered close friendship between two men. It is lawlessness. Those who partake in it seek ever more destructive things in a futile attempt to find the fulfillment they are desperate for.

I have never loved a man like I love my best friend. I love him so much I do not know what to do. But sex is the fastest way to utterly destroy what we have. Corrupt, taint, and ruin it with filth. I do not have a vagina and neither does he.

Do not look up gay porn, do not favorite it. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Flirting with gay porn and not realizing what it is doing to your soul to view it is not fleeing immorality. It is embracing it.

If you struggle with homosexuality as a Christian I will help you the best I can. but ultimately you must make the changes, you are responsible for purifying your heart and drawing near to God. I cannot be your crutch. You must stand on your own, but I will try and be there for you.

Finally, deliverance. If you want to flee from sexual immorality, there is always a curse or demons associated with it. They are Satans tool for twisting good people and making them perverted. They are manipulators... And they will never tell you the truth: They want to kill you, and bring you down to Hell with them by any means necessary.

Here is one of the best videos I have seen on deliverance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znPYH_Sg5lY

Watch it, watch it, watch it. Watch his other videos. There are demons behind most mental illness and addiction you cannot kick. Especially sexual vices and addictions, even masturbation. It will empower you, and might be the missing link your pastor has no idea exists.

This is something I need to do. To write this out for anyone who might be asking, "Is it hopeless? Must I always live this way?"

I went from a misogynistic homosexual to someone who cries out over the way women are treated today. I want to gather up women who are hurting and show them the purest love I possibly can... Show them they are so valuable. More valuable than all the treasures in the world.

My only hope for anything resembling fulfillment is to fulfill my biological identity as a man. And more than that, to love her, and to be loved by her. That is the goal. Nobody can ever fully repress what God has put in them. A desire to be loved. A desire for affection. With all this sexual deviancy going on, we are seeing the result of that:

http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/untold-d.....ransgenderism/

Stick to the narrow, difficult path. Soften your heart to God and realize that you will receive milk, and not meat, from most churches in America. Which is the reason for the ruling we saw today.

Again, watch this video, and do not be afraid. I have been attacked by demons, brought to lust, all sorts of things. They tremble before God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znPYH_Sg5lY

Right now God is calling you to turn from your sin, and to believe that Jesus Christ is your only hope. Say it with your mouth, and believe it in your heart.

Romans 10: 8-10 8But what does it say? "THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART "-- that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, 9that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.…

It is a difficult road. But the reward is worth it. I do not want to have your blood on my hands because I never said anything about how wrong homosexuality is.

Ezekial 3:18 18"When I say to the wicked, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 19"Yet if you have warned the wicked and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered yourself.…

Hell is filling up with people who went their own way and turned their back on God. Don't be one of those people. It'll be the most difficult thing you'll ever do. Not too many preachers will tell you that. Some times we go through Hell on Earth so we do not end up there after we die.

72 Questions Meme

Taken from the lovely  bering




1. Do you snore?

Yes. I think.


2. Are you a lover or a fighter?

Both.


3. What’s your worst fear?

Succumbing to fear and forgetting it has no power over me but what I give to it. I hate being played. Especially by fear.


4. As a kid, where you a lego maniac?

Yes.


5. What do you think of “reality” tv?

It depends on the show. Top Shot is pretty good. If there's a lot of sex in it that turns me off. Sex is usually shown as cheap and easy. Those who view sex as remotely sacred will not allow it to be filmed in any way. So if there's sex (Making out, etc) in it, then no...


6. Do you chew on your straws?

No.


7. Were you a cute baby?

I thought I was ugly but my ex said I was beautiful. She convinced me I was.


8. Is the single life for you?

No, it's not. I would like to turn my masculine instincts off and live alone but that is not my biological physiology. People who live alone do not, on average, live as long as people who regularly interact with society, or get married. That says something, in my opinion.


9. What colour is your keyboard?

Black with white letters. It's built into this laptop. I also have a solar powered logitech one but it's the same color scheme, black face with white letters.


10. Do you sing in the shower?

I did once and it was fun. Not anymore. Maybe when I build a house and live alone.


11. Have you ever sky-dived before?

No but I want to so bad.


12. Any secret talents?

Lots


13. What’s your ideal vacation spot?

Finca Bellavista http://www.fincabellavista.com/


14. Can you swim?

Yes.


16. Have you seen the movie "Donnie Darko”?

Yes, but while it felt ultimately depressing and pointless, it had my attention in the middle.


17. Do you care about the ozone?

It's there for a reason. But it seems everyone who's in power who says they care about it is only interested in making money or grabbing power.


18. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

It depends on the tootsie pop itself. Was it perfectly formed? Are there deformations? How much tootsie center is in the middle, and is it closer to one side than the other? It varies, you know. Also, how strong is the tongue of the person licking it? Do they have a geographical tongue? What is the condition of their tastebuds, and their mouth's PH? How much saliva is in their mouth... How quickly are the licking it? There's too many potential variables, and I do not think there have been enough adequate, scientific studies into it to form any sort of empirical data on the matter.


19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards?

No. I can probably thank the drugs for that. Wait. Why am I typing? Oh yeah. Meme.


20. Have you ever been on an airplane?

Yes, but I wish we could take off and land more than just once. That's where the fun is.

Just watched the show, "Flight". It's a good one. (FYI)


21. Are you a single child?

No, two younger brothers.


22. Do you prefer electronic or manual pencil sharpeners?

Electric. I do not think there is such a thing as an electronic pencil sharpener. Manual sharpeners are clunky but they beat a knife.


23. What’s your stand on hunting?

I am not against it. There are conditions, though. For example, the animal should not just be killed. You should have to get it's blood on your hands as you gut it and carve the meat out. Eating it is necessary, too. Culling for pelts alone makes me upset in a way, unless the animal is causing domestic issues with people's pets.

I am not for any sort of wolf killing, unless it is proven that they were attacking humans (Almost never happens, anywhere in the world) or are rabid (A danger to everyone). Wolf packs are too sensitive, positions within the pack are so hard fought, and hard won, that it is a crying shame a hunters bullet can take all of that out, just like that.

You might be shocked to know that I was against wolf reintroduction for this exact reason. And now everything I feared was going to happen (Wolves, being hunted, especially illegally) is happening. I am in the gun community and these people do not particularly care for wolves at all. They are not at all open to the idea that a wolf can become their best friend, and is basically essential in most thriving ecologies.

I used to be rabidly anti hunting of wolves, but I thought about what I would do to a wolf that was attacking my dogs. Everything I could to get it off of them and stop it from hurting them, including shooting into the ground. If it was willing to attack my dogs, it'd be willing to attack other people's dogs, giving the wolf an even worse name, and that's not good.

I guess my views have matured, a little.


24. Is marriage in your future?

Yes.


25. Do you like your handwriting?

No.


26. What are you allergic to?

Penicillin and milk. Do I eat dairy products? Heh. Yes. I eat milk chocolate and cheese. Sour cream and the like. I only do not drink milk straight.


27. When was the last time you said 'I love you?'

To my dogs, probably moments ago. I kissed them both, too.


28. Is Tupac still alive?

No. And that is sad.


29. Do you cry at weddings?

No.


30. How do you like your eggs?

Over hard.


31. Are blondes dumb?

No, that's dumb.


32. Where does the other sock end up?

In the pantlegs, or you never put both socks in to begin with.


33. What time is it?

9:53 PM


34. Do you have a nickname?

Yes. But I have not heard it in a long time. That's a good thing. I'm not that person anymore.


35. Is McDonald's disgusting?

No, I like McDonald's for their value menu. Their more expensive stuff is not that great IMO.


36. When was the last time you were in a car?

In a truck... a few hours ago.


37. Do you prefer baths or showers?

If I could take baths every night I would. My last bath was about 4 hours. I kept adding hot water, and watched movies on my laptop. It was wonderful.


38. Is Santa Claus real?

He was... Hopefully he's still real and in Heaven.


39. Do you like having your neck kissed?

*Shivers* yes.


40. Are you afraid of the dark?

Yes.


41. What are you addicted to?

I am not addicted to anything. But I spend a lot of time on the net, and I enjoy writing.


42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?

Crunchy. I love peanut butter.


43. Can you crack your neck?

Yes, but it's a bad idea. Someone died whilst doing it a few years ago.


44. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Yes. And a helicopter. Had a motorcycle accident in the desert.


45. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?

Once.


46. Is drug free the way to be?

100% Yes. I used to be on drugs, prescription and illegal. I am so much happier and better balanced now that I am sober. It took a toll on my memory but God is healing that, thankfully. I've been sober for almost seventeen years. :)


47. Are you a heavy sleeper?

Average-light. I have to wear ear plugs or I wake up quite early because this ranch is near the highway.


48. What colour are your eyes?

Blue.


50. Do you like your life?

Yes, it's better today than it was. I have nothing to complain about that's not my own fault.


51. Who’s better: Stone Cold or The Rock?

The Rock. he has a warmer spirit IMO.


52. Are you psychic

I died once and was held in the arms of God. Every essence of my being was saturated in warmth, in the very definition of the idea, and word "love". I was in a place with no time... I felt myself returning to Earth, and when I begged God not to put me back there (here) He said I had to go back.

When I came back I guess I was blessed with the ability to give and receive love, (A special kind that makes people ask me "How did you do that" when I hug them) knowing that the Bible was true in what it said, and the ability to pick up on things. A spirit of "Discernment" if you will.

Unfortunately I went off a bad path a few years after that and essentially forgot about it, and ended up perverting a lot of what was given to me with drugs, occult beliefs, and Satanic metal, which I got into pretty heavy.

Fortunately God has healed much of that, but I do occasionally have flashes of discernment where I am able to help people with problems they are having, things they are not even aware themselves. People have said it's "Spooky" but I try and be gentle. Helping people in a spirit of love is important.


53. Have you read "Catcher in the Rye"?

Yes, but I do not remember it. I recall it being good.


54. Do you play any instruments?

Yes. I play ethereal music with my guitar. My ex girlfriend said it felt like healing when I played.


55. Have you ever stolen money?

Yes.


56. Can you snowboard?

I did once and it was moderately entertaining. Not worth the cost to me, though.


57. Do you like camping?

Yes. I am never depressed when I am in the forest with my dogs. Ideally I would like to live there. Just saying.


58. Do you snort when you laugh?

Some times.


59. Do you believe in magic?

Yes. But I do not believe it is a mystical form of energy or force, I believe it is something principalities (Demons, basically) give people who surrender a part of who they are to them, in exchange. It is never worth trying to exert your own often ignorant will on others or objects or animals. I know because I got into this sort of thing for a while, and the cost it took on me was great.


60. Are dogs a man’s best friend?

Yes. I believe the love of God is shown so purely through canines. I believe God shows His love through other animals as well, but for some strange reason, the dog is the most loyal.


61. You believe in divorce?

Absolutely not. Divorce is a breaking of your wedding vows. A vow, a promise, and oath you make to live with someone for the rest of your life. You literally say, "I will be with you until I die". It is the most serious oath any human being can make before the eyes of God.

Well, dude, what about when a woman marries a total jerk, huh? What about that?

This is why we date. We get to know one another. In celibacy, yes, that means no, zero, nada sex. Why? Because sex is the single most intimate act of bonding we have as human beings. It transcends the physical and goes into the spiritual. I am far from innocent in my sexual past. I know the power it has.

Introspect... (Selah)

It also inherently blinds you to the true nature of the person you are sleeping with and cuts the foundation you were building with them short.

Ideally, in my mind, a couple should date in celibacy for a long time. If they marry after a year, I would say they rushed into things. It takes a lot of time to see people's true faces. People can live together for years and never truly know one another. It also takes a soft, open, vulnerable heart. You must give all of who you are to the other person and hold nothing back.

Innocence is of more value than all the riches in the world. I know, I lost mine. God is helping me with that.

This is the person you are going to be spending the rest of your lives with, after all! Shouldn't it merit some time, getting to know him or her?

It may sound shallow, or crass, but I believe sex is the reward for the months you spent together, getting to know each other's hearts, before you touch one another's bodies. Sex is the reward for that, the ultimate bonding tool.

I used to view it as cheap. It jaded me, and made my heart cold. Now, I won't touch it with a ten foot pole, unless I am with the person I know I am going to spend the rest of my life with, and only then, after pledging my Earthly life to her in marriage, forever.

I thank God for the softening of my once hard heart.

Sorry, that's just what I believe. It is my "truth"


62. Can you do the moonwalk?

Yes.


63. Do you make a lot of mistakes?

Yes. But I may be a little more honest with myself than most. It's painful but it's also useful, and reduces future mistakes, as much as can be expected. "Wow, I really screwed that up" is more wise than "It was their fault, not mine!"


64. Is it cold outside today?

No, but kinda. It was rainy but I like the rain.


65. What was the last thing you ate?

A red velvet pop tart.


66. Have you ever been kissed?

Yes.


67. Do you shop at American Eagle?

No, but I used to work for a test equipment shop that bought and sold it, called "American Eagle". We'd get calls from them all the time.


68. Favourite song at the moment?

Andrew Rayel's "Senta" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTp.....56&index=7

Also most of Arvo Part's music: https://www.youtube.com/results?sea.....uery=arvo+part

You can listen to "Alina". It's beautiful...


69. Do you like your job?

Yes I do.


70. Do you like your classes in school?

No, I hated everything about school. Hate is a strong word but it applies, here. I was bullied a lot and suffered a great deal at the hands of my peers, and also at home. My abuse knew little cessation, except the time I would spend around the only creatures I could truly trust: Dogs.


71. How do you like your meat cooked?

Medium rare.


72. Do you like these surveys.

Sure, they're fun!

Thanks for reading it, by the way. You're very sweet. :)

I hope you all had a very warm Christmas.

Would you give them preferential treatment? Say, in work situations?

If so, why? What if they were not as nice as they are portrayed here sometimes... Perhaps they are arrogant, mean and cruel?

Feel free to be as detailed as you like.

Hi friends,


So it has been a crazy week.

I ate something four days ago that gave me food poisoning. I have eaten probably 2 solid meals since then. Everything goes right through me. I have been very sick. Only now am I able to hold something down.
Thank you to Hige Bruce-Wolf for telling me about the potassium deficiency common in food poisoning victims.

Long story short, if you are vomiting from food poisoning, you are depleting your electrolytes, and also potassium. Potassium helps your heart to beat, and Bruce told me that heart failure was actually a big cause of death for people who god food poisoning. So eat your bananas if you're sick and throwing up.

The Shepherd in my pic who was abandoned and came wandering onto my property, has had some issues with her bladder. Going a lot (every few steps) and the urine is bloody, and has nothing to do with her being in heat.

I took her to the vet, and the vet did a bunch of tests. When he said he was going to perform an xray on her, I thought he was wasting his time. (he had already done an ultrasound, and also taken urine samples)

But he wasn't! Poor Girl Dog has a bladder stone nearly the size of a baseball, scrunched down in an oval shape. It's not life threatening, thank God.

She also has a microchip. I was kinda surprised- until he told me that nobody had ever registered the chip. It lends credence to my theory that someone got her (From a shelter?) discovered they didn't like her, then dumped her out in the desert. Lots of shelters will automatically microchip a dog, leaving the registration up to the adoptive parent(s).

Well, their loss. I'm going to put my name on her chip.

She's also likely 3-5+ years old, not the 3 years I thought.

Right now she is resting her head on my chest, and my arm is draped over her neck. This reject dog is one of the best dogs I have ever had, but I can't really say I've ever had a dog I didn't love XD

She's such a sweetheart. She just loves everyone, dogs, and people. Even chickens- she goes out of her way not to eat them. Which is more than I can say for some dogs around here!

I am blessed to have this dog. She is a blessing to my life, and she was completely free.

There's no way I can deny the amazing power rescue dogs have. Since my first rescue a few years ago, it's like they have an extra dose of loyalty and love in them, compared to dogs who may not have had the difficult backgrounds of abandonment, and fear over what turn their lives would take next.

If you are considering a dog, please do yourself a favor, visit your local shelter.

I consider adopting a dog "Borrowing an angel" although ymmv hehe. I have been very blessed and I acknowledge that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE-Nyt4Bmi8

:3

So on my mom's horse ranch there's this horse trainer who uses one of the pens (And horses).

She ties her two rescue dogs up to her truck.

I can't resist saying hi, so I go over to greet them one day. One growls at me, and the other knocks me down giving me kisses and loving on me.

AWWW! I can nary resist it.

Well anyway, Every time she comes by I give the one dog a mean look, and give the other one all the pets and attention he wants.

I realize, hey, I don't even know his name. So in the middle of the slobber orgy, I grab his collar and turn it to see his name:

DIME BAG

...

With a space in the middle. I doubt he was named as a tribute to the guitarist. Le sigh.

Because I felt like it.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Grey... I only own one hoodie.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I told her I'd sock her if she tried that shit again. She's married. I don't go for that.

4. Do you plan outfits?
No. People donate clothes to me because they feel sorry for me. The truth is I am not at all fashion oriented. I wear jeans and tshirts. They are gonna get greasy cos I am fixing stuff, or burned cos I am welding.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am okay. Marginally.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
In and out tray. Sorry in and out!

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Ugh, I don't remember, but it was bad.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
No, unless you count the clerk at Ace hardware.

9. What are you craving right now?
To write more.

10. Do you floss?
Always.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage

12. Are you emotional?
Yeah :/

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I think so... I am not sure.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Both...

15. Do you like your hair?
Sure.

16. Do you like yourself?
Sometimes I don't even know who I am.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yeah, but he's buying.

18. What are you listening to right now?
CXreedence clearwater revival: Who stopped the rain

19. Are your parents strict?
Yeah, lol. No sex, no drugs! Then I found sex, and I found drugs, and I couldn't contain myself, way to go, mom and dad.

20. Would you go sky diving?
For sure.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
It's alright.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I spent the night in Paula Abduls apartment. NO it wasn't like that. I was with her dad, and his housekeeper. But it was cool. She took us out for drinks and dinner. As nice as she is on TV, she is twice as nice in real life. She took the time to familiarize me with her remote control and TV (HEr apartment is bigger than some houses BTW). The next morning she got up early to make me some espresso. She was a very sweet woman.

23. Do you rent movies often?
I used to rent five a night, for years.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Chrome on my sockets and stuff.

25. How many countries have you visited?
0... Unless you count the one I was born it.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Oh yes. It's great fun.

27. Ever been on a train?
Not when it was moving.

28. Brown or white eggs?
Both...

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
No. It is getting to the point where I am going to have to have one. I haven't had one in a year, and it's been a good year. Nobody can molest my contemplation any time they please.

30. Do you use chap stick?
Oh crud, yeah I should! I found some surprise chapstick yesterday but I forgot about it. My lips were leaking blood two days ago.

31. Do you own a gun?
More than one.

32. Can you use chop sticks?
Kind of.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
By my lonesome.

34. Are you too forgiving?
No :(

35. Ever been in love?
Yes. But I did not deserve her. I see that now.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
No idea...

37. Ever have cream puffs?
No...

38. Last time you cried?
Probably when I got drunk a few days ago and was yelling at God.

39. What was the last question you asked?
"Do you wanna help me put the quad together?" To my dogs. Yeah. I know.

40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring?

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Yeah. First one was done by a two time felon and Mexican Mafia member, with a tattoo gun I made. I was 16 at the time, and used a thick hobby needle. We were both drunk and stoned. He penetrated about a quarter inch into the muscle, because he had no idea what he was doing. It's mostly scar tissue now... Do i regret it... Not at all. It reminds me of what a spode I used to be. The second tat was done by my best friend with another tattoo gun I made, which incorporated a small sewing needle. It turned out awesome.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Sometimes, to a fault. I catch myself, and stop.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yeah. It was a good movie.

44. Ever walked into wall?
Yeah...

45. Favorite color(s)?
Red, green, and blue. Or just one: Bluegreen.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes.

47. Is your hair curly?
No.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Demon Hunter?

49. Do looks matter?
It's the heart that keeps a man warm.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
It depends. What are the circumstances?

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
No.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Yes, it's alright. I need to get my heart and mind sorted out with God, though.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I have watched a total of thirty minutes of TV in the last year...

54. Can you handle the truth?
Honestly? No. But I need it.

55. Do you have good vision?
I do after laser eye surgery. Best thing to happen to me, on a short list.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Yes :/

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Not often at all.

58. The last person you held hands with?
This one girl I was dating years ago.

59. What are you wearing?
Plaid field and stream flannel thing, tshirt, jeans, combat boots.

60.What is your favorite animal?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. The platypus. Or the wolf. I just can't decide.

61. Where was your favorite picture taken at?
Wolf sanctuary.

62. Can you hula hoop?
I assume so.

63. Do you have a job?
Kind of, not really. Got my Lincoln Weldanpower 225 G7 (Onan) from CA to start a welding and fab business.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Bolts for this quad I am putting together.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes.