Hey all! Yeah, still kicking and such, I've been meaning to write a different journal, but am behind on several things I've been trying to sort out lately, so I haven't really written it out yet, sorry. Even if it dates back a month at this point now... no news really about writing or whatever.

Well, today kinda sucked. I had a dentist appointment, which while it went well, fluoride made me sick for most part of the evening (even though I’m not supposed to have gotten it for years now) and during dinner with family at Cracker Barrel. Was lucky I didn’t have to puke at any time, even though I worried it would happen. I got better before I got home, but got tired and low Diabetes blood sugar eventually, when I was high before. And THEN, to top it all off, recently I learned my grandmother passed... after weeks of being in the hospital initially for a broken arm and then other things happening while being back and forth between therapy and the hospital, she passed away tonight due to a heart attack, even if she was 84 and gonna go someday.

Starting to remember some of the fond memories I shared with her. As simple as the things were: be it playing bingo/other games; watching TV; or just sharing a meal; they truly were the best memories I could ask for with her... she will be missed by me and her children, no doubt. And hoping I can also see her at the funeral, one last time...

Also, on a more unrelated note, less than a week will mark 5 years since the creation of this current account of mine! Wow, 5 years and only 4 submissions... heh, I would've written/would write a poem about my feelings for grandma, but not really in a creative mood atm and it probably wouldn't be so great anyways. And the same day will mark a dozen years since the September 11th attacks on my fair US nation. Man, seems like it was a long time ago, when I was young and maybe heard the news, even if I don't think I was aware what was said at the time, where I was when I heard it as I recall. And also, a month till my birthday! This year I should be getting more than the last few, with how I've waited unintentionally this long to get certain games that I've wanted for a while, but I wouldn't mind something else from those who wanna.

Hello to all my still loyal FA watchers and hopefully still friends. Sorry this is the first journal I've gotten out in months, but honestly, haven't had much to say lately. However, this is a rather dark/sad topic, so if you don't like that, back out now. Otherwise, PLEASE don't bitch, as I'm really not in a good place and may even delete this later, if I feel like doing so.

Anyone ever feel like when the life repeatedly kicks you down, that it's the universe's way of telling you... you don't DESERVE to live any longer? I apologize for this, but again, not really in a good place as I'm typing this. Let me backtrack a little bit.

So, for anyone who doesn't know from a journal few years back or me personally telling them, I'm a Type-1 diabetic and have been ever since I was 9 months of age. I've always done my best to have it taken care of, with help from family; though in recent months since mom got a new dog, I've taken care of it myself cause she's kind of a brat and bitey and clawy. Since my last pediatrician visit, I've increased my intake and hasn't been as much of a problem until this last week, even though there wasn't much reason for concern until a lot of little things started happening. Repeated low blood sugars mostly at night/middle of the night, cause I'm a night owl, staying up until wee hours of early morning, more often than not; playing video games on my DS a lot (mostly Pokemon, not really to try to get my drive back even though it has given me ideas for random pairings and such, if wanna practice or just write for the appeal, etc); attempts at taking care of it not seeming to be as effective as used to be or just not doing enough REPEATEDLY (drinking Orange Juice, sometimes a snack). And it's just getting ANNOYING. But makes me wanna cry more than get angry, right now.

I've fought a lot last several years of my life (personal stuff), but right now, I'm just fed up with it. Latest case of this was within last hour, but even though it was more my fault/doing, for eating a Lunchables meal few hours ago when I was already high (not even hungry) and taking a seemingly appropriate amount of insulin, I just feel like fate's trying to make me kick the bucket, so to speak. Heck, even today, I TRIED to take care of it by speaking to my physician; though he wasn't around, the receptionist attempted to help me and took my recorded sugars, but she said someone would call back before they closed, and yet they DIDN'T. "Why didn't you call back?", you might ask? Well, I was distracted at the time, with TV or stuff on Internet or DS game, not sure exactly. *shrugs* Anyway, of course, I still WANT to keep surviving to live a full life and whatnot, but right now... not so much, even if I'm a bit better now than when I started this journal.

Anyway, I just wanna know if anyone I know (watching me or knows me personally) has or anyone who watches me knows someone who's felt like this, etc. Or if should not feel like this, even if this again, has only been a week and first time has felt like this since it happened. But as the adage goes, "Everyone's gotta die sometime." or "It was just his/her time.", yet I'm convinced it's not MY time by a long shot. And I just am gonna have to take my own steps until call back again either tomorrow or Monday (to ensure I talk with MY physician about the subject), cause I'm not sure if it's just mix of timing and all the things I said before, because it's just getting frustrating even if as said before, earlier I wanted to cry moreso. Or possibility of something more being wrong with me, since I can be higher when I'm sick, and not sure if anything can cause low sugars repeatedly; even if more likely all that I stated before.

Hopefully, didn't forget anything here. In other news, I finally truly MAY have a new/first story to finally submit soon, if all goes well for a contest on a different site, though may not be one of material related to pen name on here/other sites. Won't spoil for those who don't know me well enough, but will say it should be interesting! And will hope you enjoy, if it's your thing! ^^;

And furthermore, sorry to all of my online buddies haven't spoken with in a LONG while. I really have no excuse other than haven't felt like being on, due to certain site/fandom distracting me some nights a while back, having problems with my sleep schedule, etc. But I hope to rectify that soon and be back on for most part, soon enough. Probably won't be for a little while still, cause I'll be writing for the contest mentioned before. *pumps a fist in the air* Here's to better news in the future, about my Diabetic dilemma and for writing in general/current projects! XD

Howdy, FA! Man, been a LONG time since I made one of those, but for sort of good reason, been kinda preoccupied with certain matters, so haven't spent a lot of time on this site like I used to (even though I've managed to save/fave some new pics, in recent months). Anyway, just thought I'd let my watchers know this, though not so clear on an ETA of me ever posting something again, as I'll hopefully write...

Anyway, onto main business: once again, it's my birthday! Turned 26 today, and already got my gifts: a Nintendo 3DSXL (blue color, though I did ask for original, just cause thought larger wouldn't fit in pockets and such) and the new Pokemon Black 2 game. :3 Not much else really wanted, so that's about it. Not sure if rest of the day'll have anything more interesting to share that happened, but I tend to doubt it, as birthdays haven't been very exciting, last few years and such. Anyway, leave your birthday wishes or whatever, ye loyal followers, even if I've hardly submitted jack squat to this site, in all my years here! XD

Dunno if'll update this later, as I'm not really thinking straight and such. And sorry it's so short and kinda vague, but it's kinda embarrassing, that haven't at least kept updated, even if it's just to say "hey, still around" or something to that effect.

Hey, guys! It's my mate's ( solrent) birthday, so go over and wish him a happy birthday. That is, if you wish to. XD Been having a bad string of luck on his end, so could use good wishes to make sure his birthday is super amazing, to make up for recently! Happy Birthday, honey! <3

Yeah, sorry after some months, I don't have more to say really. Still alive and kicking, just had a little bit of some problems on my end, with computer getting damaged and whatnot, and still needing to get it fixed, will try to do so soon, for those on here who have online on like messengers. I'll try to see about posting something new soon, but not sure if will stick to it as much as I wanted to, at one point.

Anyway, will try not to waste time with another journal like this later on!

Last-minute entry for an art contest found here, so can get some art of me and my mate, perhaps (XD): http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2979373/

(Sorry I don't have anything better to post for you my watchers, will soon... I hope.)

Well, time for first journal in a few months! And as stated, it's an obligatory birthday journal, just for the heck of it, to see who actually cares enough to say something!

So far, has been... little hectic on my end, dunno why, but certain factors prevented me from posting this journal sooner, but hey, at least it's sooner than I posted last years! So, that's a plus! XD

Not looking forward to much, for my mid-20th birthday, being 25 today. I've likely said this before, but man, do I feel old, and for very good reason! Anyone who knows me well enough, will likely know why that is, and I won't go into detail on it here. But might be getting something interesting, which I'll possibly share later... or maybe not. :D Though I probably will, in a future journal, if I DO indeed ask for it, even if I know the point of birthdays isn't much to ask for gifts, more or less celebrate the day of your birth and have fun with others, haha.

Well, not much else to say, I also got plans to start a new project soon that's non-Pokemon, for an informal contest, but not be many people's cup of tea, details of it can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2650605/ Sorry if the subject creeps people out, for those of you familiar with Skye's works, but eh, fastest way I can describe it without going into TOO much detail and such, and deadline was recently extended to November, might use extra time to fix computer and play with birthday gifts, if I don't put 'em off until after my entry is finished. Know I keep saying it, but I DO plan on committing to it soon, maybe with help from a certain... friend whom I think has become more to me, after last relationship ended a bit badly. Won't say much more beyond than that.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say, so lemme hear your birthday wishes, people who haven't remembered until I said something! D: Oh, and check out this cute piece of gift art I've been given! Which is actually a follow-up to a previously done piece, commissioned by the same friend for the same artist: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6657351/

Okay, back from vacation finally! Would've made a journal earlier today or sooner, but was a bit preoccupied by some other things, those whom are interested in hearing the ramblings of this naughty/silly little Pika, hehe.

Well anyway, vacation was kinda... eh. Don't get me wrong, it was fun and I did enjoy myself a bit in Florida (some nowhere place called Sanibel Island), but would've been more fun if family hadn't gotten on my nerves a bit. Sis and her husband doing... well, probably shouldn't say here, but just will say some personal things were brought up that I was hoping wouldn't, whilst I was down there. Anyway, let's not focus on the negative and focus on the positive!

Didn't do much while down there, only going outside of the house to swim and hot tub mostly (as well as one day where I went into a sauna), but there were a couple days did some things. Though for the most part, weather kinda sucked, cause it rained practically every day, except for Monday and Friday. Even ended up getting a nasty burn on both days, though yesterday's was the worse, cause of lack of sunscreen with a near-empty bottle I took down to the beach, even though I was in the ocean for the most part and didn't think had my upper-body exposed that much! And today, got some blisters and think am getting the beginning of sun poisoning according to family, ugh. But hopefully, your chu will be just fine.

Anyway, the days I did go out, didn't really do much, again cause of the weather. First day I really went out (beyond getting mostly daily ice cream and dinner from one place in particular, as well as swimming), was going to play mini-golf, but that went out the door with the weather eventually getting rainy. So, pretty much just went walking around, viewing some stores while family I was staying with was shopping. Though didn't interest me much, of course, lol. Went to a place with some birds and took some pics of some macaws and maybe some other kinds, so that was fun!

Second day, saw the new Transformers movie (in 3D!) the day it came out and it was... sublime. Despite never really having seen either of the first two before (though I saw the second one I think, earlier tonight mostly, on FIOS), but the way it ended was... well, will avoid spoiling things for those of you watching me who haven't seen it yet, but it was something to remember, I believe I can say, after all the "wtf?" and jerking around moments the movie had, haha!

And last day I went out, was really to get some souvenirs if anything, so I didn't just have pics to remember the occasion. Ended up getting a small photo album, a t-shirt in my size, and a shot glass (even though I don't drink, something I decided a long time ago for someone like myself who's smart and has dreams of making it big), all with the location on it. Other than all that, vacation was kinda blah for the most part. Mostly played games and did what I had to, but not quite as much as I would've liked to (or nothing, even though it was my intent) writing-wise.

So anyway, in the time since have been back, have sorta... damaged my computer. Accidentally cracked the screen in the upper-left corner mostly (though reaches down the left side almost entirely, so dunno if there's any errors I'm not able to see by the crack and white/blackness covering the screen, as I write this, so forgive me if there would be), when one end of my bed (that's not as good as it once was, due to it breaking down initially and didn't realize until it was damaged to the point where had to take the legs off, cause it's a daybed, that had screwed it on in the wrong portion, but was only cause get it to fit on very well where I figured it belonged, and saw these extra holes) came crashing down on it, while I had it resting near the edge of the bed! Though it's fallen on it a COUNTLESS number of times before, and never cracked it open before, but most (if not all) of those times, the wireless mouse I have was underneath the screen, so didn't close completely (not that it did, when it initially hit), but I also did kind of... take my frustration out on the end of the bed afterward, so dunno if that was my fault. Anyway, just letting people know, might not be online for a bit still, and will have no time to work on my stories (found out the contest for AGNPH was extended to end of this month), unless I work on it elsewhere, if I have to send it in for repairs. Wanted to do that AFTER I moved, since already have some scratches on lower-half, to be with my mate I mentioned in the previous journal (whom, if wasn't obvious, wasn't on vacation with me this week), but guess fate has to throw me the occasional curveball, like it just fucking LOVES to do.

Anyway, see you all in maybe a week or more, even though I'll occasionally check FA or elsewhere, if I need to use mom's laptop or they can't send someone down with the part to repair it in person.

Heya, to all my loyal watchers! Know this probably isn't the best time to make a new journal, but figure I should explain things, to those who're concerned.

First off, wanna say that since have been gone and last updated one of these, a LOT has happened. The most of all which is, I've found myself a mate! Not to sound all boastful and rub it in to those of you without one, but have found the most wonderful guy, and one I think is my perfect match, one who has a lot in common with me, and goes well with what am looking for in a mate, in typical and certain aspects.

Anyway, before that, was a little addicted to this site a friend linked me to: http://gpxplus.net/ , but recently, have started to grow bored of it and wanting to do more, so have been trying to focus more on writing and other stuff. Though that's not all of it, was addicted to Pokemon White for a bit, then got sick with strep throat for a couple weeks, and latest of which, computer caught something online, so need to fix that before I try to write something and save it to the computer, even if my writing program of choice (Microsoft Word 2003) isn't one of the ones affected, I believe. So, that's pretty much all of it, the first one being the main reason why haven't been paying much attention to this site for a while, until recently again.

I've only written one story since last time, the previously mentioned Shinx lineup incest story in my previous journal, though turned out WAY differently than I had intended and is on my account at AGNPH: http://agnph.com/fics/viewuser.php?uid=681 (For those of you too lazy to click on website link, on my profile page here) Might do a sequel to this route, though might also rewrite it the way originally had intended, with non-anthro Pokemon. Newest thing I'm working on is a birthday story for my mate, which will also serve as my newest contest entry on AGNPH, for the FETEP3 contest that ends in a week. Which I'll be doing, while am on vacation in the following week. Which I may go into detail on, in a following SEPARATE journal. And update on a daily or occasional basis, rather than try to remember it all at once, heh.

Few other things have happened, such as: registering for college to be with my mate, where he's going, and... actually, I think that's it, hah. Anyway, sorry to those on here watching me who haven't seen me in forever online, but will be back soon, once I get my computer fixed and feel up to it! Can't guarantee when that'll be, but hopefully soon, if all goes well. Anyway, got to head to bed, so will post it tomorrow, if so!

Okay, sorry for the delay of this. But yesterday, I somehow slept in after I originally woke up until about 10 PM my time zone (EST). And then, had issues with my wireless card working, but will explain that in a moment. Then today, I was distracted this morning more with Megaman Star Force: Pegasus, and I wasn't even playing it for real, lol. Though I screwed up and made a slip-up that I can't go back and undo, but oh well.

Anyway, computer is back and fixed. Though things are WAY different than they were before, despite what the people who made this damn laptop said to me. :( For starters, am missing a toolbar that was at the top of the screen, even though it wasn't THAT important really, just had easy-to-access icons for things like the Internet browser, games, e-mail, and other stuff I can't recall now that it's gone. D:

Second thing is that everything is missing that used to be on this, programs that came pre-installed with the laptop, accessories, etc etc. So have had to re-install everything from a disc that came with it (which was scratched in my effort to cut it open with something a little sharp, but it's not my fault they make the things so damn hard to open, but still seems to be working), though haven't gotten everything yet. Just hope everything is there, especially the program for the webcam that was built into this (or if not, I can download it off the Internet somewhere).

Lastly, is the fact that everything on my screen is like WAY bigger on the screen than it was before. For example, on my Internet Explorer browser (and please, NO complaints, I've heard it all before about how it's unsafe compared to Firefox, but I think it's more easier to use in my experience) things are way more zoomed in. I've taken a few snapshots of AGNPH and FA on my mom's computer on IE, and how AGNPH and FA were on mine by default, to show what I'm talking about (and please, ignore the vast amount of FA messages I have, have been trying to get rid of them, but am being lazy about it). Then, I changed the screen resolution size from 800x600 to 1280x1024, to see if a difference could be made. There's a noticeable difference between how things look on AGNPH and FA between the two sizes. Though I'm curious if anyone knows of any other way to fix the size of these sites on mine. Also noticeable is the difference in the minimize, restore down/maximize, and close buttons, which indicates on mine that it is in basic Windows format and my mom's is the standard Windows format, I think (or whatever it's called, as it doesn't want to show me what it's called and am too lazy to look it up myself) format. Not sure if that's causing the issue, but probably not, as I never noticed this issue when it swtiched back and forth on my old computer. *shrugs*

Also, a couple of keys are not working at the top, but oh well, guess that's what happens when people lie and say that things won't change (though for the most part, everything else is the same, or close to it). XD That's about it for my computer, and what's changed/is different from before.

As for my b-day, was pretty bland, didn't really get anything (as expected, since I had asked for stuff I wanted at a previous date, but never got) and didn't really do much. I did have a nice dinner, and will probably go out for real sometime later this week (haven't decided when, as of yet). Also had a nice Ice Cream Cake from Carvel, yum. D: And I actually did start work on a new story idea from a while ago, currrently titled "A Father's Love" (working title, may be subject to change, such as "Taking After Lily"), so as you can imagine, there will be incestuous sex between a father and his daughter. Oh, and this is a Pokemon story, in case you didn't guess (since that's what my profile says I love to write). Will be between members of the Shinx family, for those of you who love those delightful little electric cats. :D Will see if can get it out before November, when NaNoWriMo begins, but depends on a few things, like how much I work on it and if I don't get stuck on parts (as there's a lot I'm still unsure of, but that's sort of how I write, I start on an idea and work things out as they develop in my head, probably not very good though).

Anyway, that's about it for now. Thanks for listening and will see those of you on when I feel like getting on tonight!

Hey, sorry this is like... several hours past when I would've posted it, but was sort of busy last night, since I got sidetracked playing Megaman Star Force: Pegasus, on a DS emulator I downloaded yesterday and was up for a good portion before I dozed off. XD

Anyway, just wanted to say that it's my birthday, for those who didn't bother to remember (which is everyone, but probably because I haven't reminded people, since my last journal, and haven't been online since my computer broke down). Yep, I'm 24 now... though not sure what I'm celebrating, exactly. Am in the same place I was last year, and the past couple years before that, sort of. :( And probably won't get much, if anything, seeing as there's not a whole lot of stuff I want atm (probably will get a game or two I wanted a while back, but never got, though I doubt it, since I asked for them kind of late). One might be Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn for the Wii (which a friend mentioned to me, I believe it was either someone who does not reside on FA or  milesmizugiwa, not sure though) and the other might be Pokemon Platinum (or another Fire Emblem game for the DS, called Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon), not that I need another Pokemon game when haven't even finished the ones from last gen that I have (Diamond and HeartGold), as of yet. XD

And I may have SOME good news. Someone called earlier this morning, about the replacement for my busted HD, so I may be back on tonight, for those of you who've missed me! D: Though would need to get family member to pick it up, since they can't come to the house (don't ask, PLEASE), and would need to go to their workplace. So if I don't, I'll be back on tomorrow, probably. Either way, it means more chatting and other stuff, basically. :D

Anyway, that's about it, will update this later (or post a new one), with the results of how it went. But is safe to say all I'll probably do is maybe write a little, if I can get to it, and MAYBE go out for dinner (if not tonight, sometime soon, I'm sure). Thanks for listening! ^_^

And now, I must get to sleep, as I've been up for hours now, even though I got enough sleep last night, probably, between intervals of when I woke up a few times. XD

Sorry, meant to post this a few days ago, but needed to do something first, before I could do so. XD

Anyway, I'M PISSED. Wanna know why? Cause my new laptop, which I have had almost two weeks now (two weeks exactly later today), just up and broke on me. I don't know what happened, but after having to restart on Friday night cause of an update of sorts, something I did since the last restart caused one of my HDs (I got two of them) to stop working and not boot up entirely, until it just... stopped working. And somehow, said the OS wasn't found, and NOW, that message is gone and keeps showing everything that was with it again and again. *goes into a rant of how stupid computers are*

The only things I can think of are that I used my webcam to take a pic of... something for a certain friend (you know who you are), and that I also used it with Skype, after creating an account, to show him something else. But it's more likely the former, or that I got directed somehow to an unsafe site, by a so-called friend of mine, though not sure which. And that just seems stupid, cause I had antivirus protection, yet it didn't scan or alert me to anything. Seriously, computers are dumb sometimes. O_O

Anyway, am letting those of you who've noticed my absence the past few days on my messenger accounts to know that I may be back soon, maybe not. So you may see on my upcoming b-day, but maybe not, depending on if you can help or not with what I'm about to ask below. :3

I tried doing a search for a computer backup business on Google, but I didn't see anything with the words I was trying to use, and thus, didn't hit enter; cause I wasn't sure if would've provided much in the way of finding what I needed. Can anyone name some places that are like, all over the US, or some suggestions on what I should do a search on? I only ask cause after talking to the company I bought the computer from, they say they'll call back later today to set up something about replacing the defective HD, and I don't want to lose some stuff, even though I barely have that much that I'll lose (just some logs of chats, since I've been back, a few pics and maybe a Word file or two), but still! It's something I'd like to at least try to do, before it's replaced sometime soon! So, am asking if you know anything that would help, please tell me in a reply! Or if you can help me with a way to getting my files off myself, with the one HD being broken and not recognized or able to be accessed, that'd work too. :D

Anyway, I am sorry to those friends of mine that I was in the middle of some rps with, but hopefully, I'll be back soon and we can resume them, if you have the logs, if I can't get them or remember where we were (you know who you are). And also, am sorry to my friend that I did the pics and Skype session with, but not sure if I can do that again, unless I'm certain that I won't have a repeat of what happened. Sorry, and will see those of you online when I get this fixed! ^_^

Wow, it's been quite a while since I submitted a journal on here. Meant to submit this yesterday, but got sidetracked. XD

Anyway, to those I speak with online, I'm back and better than ever with my new laptop! Though I'm currently having some problems with the built-in mouse and Microsoft Word, but hopefully, I'll get those fixed soon.

And I'm also trying to write still, for those who are still watching me for some reason, lol. Currently working on a project for the current AGNPH contest, though am having problems committing to it, and just a week left. But if I do do something, I probably won't submit it here, since it's not my usual kind of story, even if it was for a contest. D: But not to worry, I'll submit something here sooner or later, guys.

Anyway, sorry to bother you all, hopefully next journal, I'll have more to say (which'll probably be about my birthday, coming up in a few weeks). But yeah, feel free to bug me, if you see me on, heh. And how are you all doing?

Hey all, sorry it's been so long since my last journal! Meant to make a new one after my last one sooner, but kind of forgot about it, in the midst of being busy with various things. And couldn't get myself to just do it when I had some time, rather than when I wanted to. XD

Anyway... sorry to my all watchers still watching me, that I don't have anything new. Haven't come up with any poems that I've felt like doing, as I've been uninspired for some time now. I DID manage to do a little bit of writing about a month ago a week or so after my last journal, for the contest I wanted to enter: the AGNPH Valentine's Day theme. About 3k words, last time I checked, but even after the deadline was extended by two days (lucky break for me), I still didn't really manage to get it done in time, unfortunately. And of course, have fallen out of the groove of writing for some reason, due to various things on my end. Of course, the most recent of those was the US Pokemon Jirachi giveaway event, which I DID manage to be lucky enough to snag one for my Diamond. But that's probably irrelevant, heh.

Though I'm going to do my best to TRY to get back to writing more regularly again, hopefully without the worry of a deadline. I still plan on finishing the last story I was working on (even though Valentine's Day is a month past, but should still do it, rather than rewrite it from the beginning or fix it so the rest of the story flows naturally, without worry of it being inconsistent, or wait until next year to do so), along with several others I haven't worked on for quite some time or haven't even started on yet, lol. But I'm sure if I can somehow eventually manage to get back to writing more often, I can come up with newer ideas, that I can start on from the beginning after I come up with them and think them out a bit, heh. :3

I'm thinking I MAY be willing to open story requests for a bit, see if that hopefully gets the creative juices flowing again without too much worrying of developing like with my own works, but if I do, there'll be a limit (probably 2 or 3) until I get some others I still have yet to start on or rather finish a bit more, I should say, in addition to my own work. But if I do open them, it won't be unless I explicitly state so, in a journal of its own. So please don't spam me with your requests, until I say it's okay for you to do so. (Though I doubt anyone will take advantage of this if I do open them, since I don't really have any examples of how I write nowadays yet, only a few older works, when I didn't take as much as time as I've been the past couple of years.) ^^;

Anyway, not sure what else to say, so I'll just end it here. Sorry to all my watchers for continuing to sound like a broken record, but: keep an eye out! Will hopefully have something up soon, but no guarantees of that, given my track record. D:

Hey all, sorry it's been a week since my last journal. Been meaning to keep you guys informed more regularly, but for some reason, haven't done it, haha. XD

Anyway, sorry to say, don't really have any good news. Haven't QUITE started writing again yet (having a bit of trouble finding the spark), but been thinking about it more or less, even though know I should probably just get to work on it, heh. And I probably will later tonight, I hope. Just continue to keep an eye out, and will let you know when I do finally have some news.

But in the meantime, while you guys are waiting for me to submit something more than just a poem, here's some fellow writers on FA I recommend you go watch, who deserve some more love. :3

 capthavoc123 He's another Pokemon smut writer, as well as a furry smut writer. He does some pretty neat M/F and F/F work, as well as nice character development and detail, so I highly suggest go reading his work and watching him now! :D

 c-prime He writes lots of neat stuff, including Pokemon, Sonic, as well as varying other stuff, including furry critters and real-life animals, anthro and non-anthro. He also offers commissions, all for a low price of $5 (as far as I still know, didn't really watch him until late last year, so might've changed). You can find the details if you search through his journals (though there's a lot, but just search and I'm sure you'll find it, heh). But he only writes M/F and F/F, so no M/M commissions (or anything else he's not interested in, ie: scat, vore, or anything else that would be considered gross).

 draculkurohemming If you're in the mood for a quick fap involving Pokemon, go check out this guy! He writes some pretty hot scenes in my opinion, but if you're not into M/M, I'd suggest staying away. As that's all he's written so far, M/M Pokemon sex. Oh yeah, he offers commissions too, at another unbeatable price, so give him some! But dunno if he writes M/F (even though he has implied some references, in a couple of his stories so far), so I'd probably ask before you commission him to do one, haha. D:

 mecha-mightyanador Another Pokemon smut writer, mainly like myself. He mainly writes romance, but also writes action (check out his Tales of Travelers series to see what I'm talking about, and is also in the midst of writing a sequel to it, since he ended it in January, though is currently up for debate, after he barely got any comments at the end of it). He also offers trades, so I suggest you go offer him some! He needs something to get back into the groove of writing (though like  c-prime, he only does M/F and F/F, and nothing gross as stated above), like myself, so check out his work and if you have an idea, give it to him! ^^;

 smashbro He writes Pokemon, but hasn't written anything smutty... yet. But if you're into semi-violent and action-y stories, I suggest giving him a read! He's definitely someone who could use more watchers, probably.

Heh... I never noticed before, but most of the writers on my watch list write Pokemon, mainly. Though of course some do also write other stuff ( capthavoc123 and  c-prime, those are about the only ones, and another one who has a non-Pokemon story up as their only one, last time I checked), haha. Anyway, no one's likely reading this since I've rambled long enough, so I'll just end it here. And again, keep an eye out, should have some good news tomorrow or in the next few days! ^^;

Hey to all my loyal watchers still watching me, figured I owed you a new journal after 3 months of having the one about my birthday back in October still up on my page. XD

Anyway, just letting you all know that I'm still alive. Though haven't been very productive unfortunately, been stuck in a rut for a while. Tried doing some writing for NaNoWriMo back in November, but didn't go so well, after a few days in and lost focus. And haven't managed to get back into the groove yet, been a little too distracted elsewhere, heh. Christmas was okay, though didn't get much (since didn't ask for much, just a couple games that I wanted).

To all of my wonderful friends I've made here on FA... I'm sorry. I've been ignoring a lot of you in recent months on MSN (or AIM, for some of you), though I'm hoping to do something about it in due time, and start talking with some of you again on a more regular basis (like only a handful of friends I actually talk to, that much). Since I know I barely talk with some of you as it is, but I'm sure you understand: other friends and life come first (even if I don't have much of an active one, at present). Though probably isn't that great of an excuse, I dunno. Just am trying to push past some issues I'm having on my end, but know that I will hopefully make an effort to speak with some of you again, soon enough, as soon as I get myself out of this rut I'm in and make an effort to get on sooner, to talk with you. :3

But good news: I think I'm finally starting to snap out of my funk of not doing much. As I've recently grown tired of playing what I've been playing for some time now (I believe, since haven't been doing it much the past few days), Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky or just Pokemon Mystery Dungeon at all, haha. It's like my favorite game series, so much so that haven't played any other games I've gotten in recent months, aside from the new Explorers of Sky one, lol. Though since I've recently started wanting to do more, I think this means I can finally get back to my writing, and hopefully stick with it. Now, I just need to pick an idea from the many I've come up with in the 2 years or so, since I stopped writing and stick with it, heh. I think I have an idea of something I want to write, for the upcoming AGNPH writing contest theme, adjusted from an old idea I had a few months ago, but didn't get around to writing, before NaNoWriMo started. Let's just say will involve two certain teams from the game series I mentioned before (though not from the same game, necessarily, as they're separate worlds, but will be combined in the story I might write), if I do go with it and don't come up with something else. ;)

In any case, hopefully, I'll soon be busy as a bee, if all goes well and I can get into what I'm writing, without getting distracted. So to my loyal watchers who have watched me despite not really having anything in my gallery (aside from the two poems I wrote a few months ago), thanks for being patient. Your patience will be rewarded soon enough, hopefully, if all goes well, haha. XD

Thanks for listening and keep an eye out! I'll do my best to reward your watching and not disappoint!

Yep, today's my birthday, as I've said in a couple of my more recent journals. D: I'm 23 years old. Boy, do I feel old, since I'm not much pleased with where I am by this point in my life. XD

Anyway, hope it goes well, since have had a bad couple of days recently, and get some good stuff. Will maybe let you know later, in an edit. ^^;

Edit: Okay... wasn't that exciting or great of a birthday, but wasn't entirely bad either. XD As for presents, I got Guitar Hero 5 for Nintendo Wii (will let people know a Friend Code, once I can access it, perhaps) and... that's all, really. Was expecting little more at least, but recently got a new Nintendo DSi, so couldn't be allowed to splurge on asking for stuff, heh. Anyway, hopefully next year's will be more fun or something. D:

Sorry I didn't make this sooner, but didn't really come to me, and then had problems with damn computer cooperating during scanning for threats. XD

Anyway, to all fans of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, like myself: exciting news! Supposedly, there's to be a new episode today, probably based on the new game for those who know it's coming out soon (after they show the other ones based on the previous games first, that is). It's airing in a short while at 7:30 here on Cartoon Network (Eastern Time Zone in the US). So anyone who's interested, I suggest you get up and change the channel to Cartoon Network (if you've got it) nao! D: Or later, depending on how TV shows are aired in other areas with different time zones then here (as I don't really know how that works, despite what a friend has said in the past). They're showing the one based on the second game right now, so if you wanna watch the second half, change it now!

Sorry to waste your time perhaps, but hey, I'm excited, heh. And thought I'd let some of my watchers know, if they're interested in that series as well, lol. XP

Oh yeah, I'll probably delete this later, since is silly to make a journal about this, heh. D:

Stolen from  cellidor Been meaning to do this, but haven't been able to get around to it. Seems like fun, and you get to know how much of a baddie I am. X3

The "Am I really that bad?" meme

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

HAVE YOU...

[] smoked
[X] consumed alcohol (don't really remember, but have been told I drank when I was younger, mocking my dad O_O)
[] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex (Pfft, I wish, but maybe in time)
[] kissed someone of the same sex (Again, I wish)
[] had sex
[] had someone in your room other than family
[X] watched porn
[] bought porn
[] tried drugs

TOTAL SO FAR: 2

[] taken painkillers
[] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[X] lied to your parents (though wasn't really successful, aside from about my possible sexuality)
[X] lied to a friend
[] snuck out of the house
[] done something illegal
[X] felt hurt
[X] hurt someone
[X] wished someone to die (though I'm not so lucky as to get that wish)
[] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[] missed curfew
[] stayed out all night
[] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[] been to a therapist
[] received a ticket
[] been to rehab
[] dyed your hair
[] been in an accident
[] been to a club
[] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[] been to a wild party
[] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[] had a spring break in Florida
[] sniffed anything
[] wore black nail polish
[] wore arm bands
[] wore t-shirts with band names
[] listened to rap
[] owned a 50 Cent CD

TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[] dressed gothic
[] dressed girly
[] dressed punk
[] dressed grunge
[] stole something
[] been too drunk to remember anything
[X] blacked out
[] fainted
[] had a crush on a neighbour

TOTAL SO FAR: 8

[X] had a crush on a friend
[] been to a concert
[] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[] been called a slut
[] called someone a slut
[] installed speakers in a car
[X] broken a mirror
[] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper
[X] seen an R-rated movie (not sure, though I have seen some pretty horrific movies, so think so)
[] cruised the mall
[] skipped school
[X] had surgery
[X] had an injury
[] gone to court
[] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[] caught something on fire
[] lied about your age

TOTAL SO FAR: 13

[] owned/rented an apartment/house
[] broke the law in the police's presence
[] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[] got in trouble with the police
[] talked to a stranger
[] hugged a stranger
[] kissed a stranger
[] rode in the car with a stranger
[X] been harassed
[X] been verbally harassed

TOTAL SO FAR: 15

[] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[X] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[X] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[X] been to a fair
[] been called a bad influence
[] drank and drove
[] prank-called someone
[] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[X] cheated on a test

TOTAL SO FAR: 19

So apparently, I'm still a goody-goody, though of course I already knew that. XP Not sure about if a few of those include family or if did some of those actually, but I'm just going to leave it as it is, rather than be "average", heh. And does anyone know why there are two missing from this, or is that just how these memes work, for people who don't bother to check (unlike myself)? D:

And just a reminder: birthday's in little over a week, so still some time to anyone who wants to maybe give me something in time (not that I need it, necessarily, but would appreciate it), heh. ;P

*shrugs* Should've done this earlier today, but got sidetracked playing on my new Nintendo DSi I got a week ago and watching the new Ben 10 Alien Force season premiere on CN (don't judge me, just because I watch that show/series, if anyone finds it silly, perhaps D:). Not sure how I forgot, since planned on doing it last night, later in the day, but oh well. XD

Anyway, so as the title says, it's been a year since I created this new account of mine. Not sure why am commemorating this day, since really have nothing to show for it (meaning no submissions, not even scraps). D: All have really done in that time, is watched 61 people (though should be more, if wasn't so gosh-darned lazy XD And gotten 46 watches, my newest one being today D:), commented little over a couple hundred times on stuff here on FA (majority of it probably on journals, though am trying to be more active on commenting on submissions, which will get somewhat caught up on in a bit), and done 13 journals (this being unlucky 13, heh). Not to mention, for those who also live in the US (of those watching me), know that today is the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks that took place in our country, 8 tragic years ago. :( But at least our country has (mostly) healed from the wounds that happened on that fateful day, I believe.

But yeah, still felt like I had to do this, for some reason. X3 Don't worry though, ONE of these days, will have something to submit, that is new and exciting (hopefully). Can't say when though, due to things on my end inhibiting me from sort of doing so.

Also, in other news: my birthday is exactly one month from today, heh. Will be turning 23 at that time (even though kind of already said something in my journal with the 8 Truths Meme). Just thought I'd share in time, if anyone cares to maybe do something for me, if they want. ^^; Though of course, nothing says you have to, but will appreciate any gifts, if someone wishes to give me something.

So... yeah, that's pretty much it, I think. Sorry if wasted your time, with journal that didn't have anything important, really. XD

Edit: Seems like someone unwatched me recently I think, since didn't really bother to check until just recently, so is 45 watchers instead. Though doubt that really matters, lol. X3

Ffffuuuuuuuuuuuck. :( (Should've done this last night, but didn't occur to me then.)

So, last night while I was online, talking to some of my online friends here from FA, I was also deleting some submissions (from someone who had recently noticed got rid of their stuff). And somehow, while switching back to my chatting and after hitting enter, I triggered the nuke submissions option and accidentally went through with it, deleting all of my submissions (could've probably prevented it, had I not been in such a rush, not saying what was doing and/or going back after I think I had successfully managed to stop it, to see what would happen. Stupid choice probably, on my part). :(

That really sucked, cause I had nearly 1600 submissions I wanted to sort through (after nearly going through and deleting all the ones I could find at this current time that had been removed from FA), in my nearly a year since I created this account. I've just been... lazy, and haven't gotten to just commenting or at least favoriting (as anyone who stops by my page will see, last favorite was 7 months ago), which  everydaydolphin so thoughtfully pointed out to me a bit before that happened. XD Though is probably my own fault, for not going to sleep (even a nap), cause of my own reasons, for wanting to stay up.

Well... *shrugs* not much can do about it now, except try not to let it happen again, and sort through my messages this time before they get out of control again. But first... I believe I'll stop by and deal with what I should have been doing all this time, kind of. ;P Just because I owe it to all of the awesome people I've chosen to watch (and still have yet to watch, but will get to it... eventually), and their awesome submissions that they worked hard (most of them, if not all) on. D:

So anyway... sorry to rant, but just had to kind of get that out of my system, since has been bugging me a bit today, while I've been up. And especially sorry to those who are watching that am watching back (you hopefully know who you are), whose work I haven't favorited/commented on before. I know it's supposed to be convenient, but isn't exactly convenient when something like that happens with that many submissions to sort through (those who wish to sort through them, me being one of them, even if was being slow about it), am I right? D: Oh yeah... also, got some sleep earlier today, if anyone cares. XP But anyway, other than that horrible... mishap happening, I'm pretty much alright, at present. Just chilling and trying to relax and forget all about it. ^^;

Okay, I was tagged by  yellowhattedwonder. Had this pretty much done, but just was lazy in posting it before my computer broke again. D:

The rules…
1) Post these rules
2) Post 8 true things about yourself
3) At the end you must tag 8 people and post their icons
4) Go to their page and send them a message saying you tagged them
5) NO TAG-BACKS

1) I'm a diabetic, and have been, ever since I was 9 months old. Yeah, it sucks, but after 22 years, I've gotten used to it pretty much. :D

2) This may be shocking, but I'm still a virgin. Yeah, 22, almost 23 years old, and still a virgin. X3 Sad, but just never found anyone that appealing, before I fell in love with one of my online best furry friends for how he was to me during a time of need. Sadly, he isn't in love with me, as far as I still know. :(

3) I'm a pansexual, as I discovered not long after talking with  yellowhattedwonder some time ago, after confessing how I felt to my same friend I mentioned above.

4) I fucking HATE bugs, but none moreso than bees. I'm highly afraid of getting stung, and how much it'll hurt perhaps, if I ever do. Though I'm not allergic or anything, as far as I know. XD

5) A few of my friends already know this, but I was in a fire almost two years ago in November (check an old journal on here or my old account for details). I only bring this up, cause since then, my life has significantly slowed down, as I'm not doing much nowadays. Not in school, no job, and not really doing any writing. Just am kind of wasting my life away, ignoring my online friends, and not doing anything about it (though might soon). D:

6) Even though I am pansexual and more of my ideas for stories are straight than any other pairing, I find myself fantasizing more about gay/lesbian scenes from stories I wish to do when I want to do... private, behind-closed-doors stuff. *blushes* At least, I'm pretty certain that's the case, though I also do think of straight things sometimes. ;P

7) I care deeply for all my friends, especially my online ones (despite that may not have shown it in recent times). I especially love to give them gifts, if I feel they deserve one for being so awesome. Those of you who’ve I promised and still have yet to do, KNOW who you are. ;D

8) Ironically, my birthday falls on October 11th, the one-month anniversary after one of the darkest days in the history of the USA: the September 11th bombings. Even more ironic, I created my newest account here on FA, on the 7th anniversary of that day. Wasn’t even intentional, mind you, the creation of the new account being on that day. D:

Not sure if some of those count, but hopefully, no one will complain. D: Okay, now to tag people! Hopefully, no one on this list (as far as I still know) has done it, or been tagged by someone else. :3

 capthavoc123
 cellidor
 jewelwriter
 minun
 nitos
 sonichaos735
 z-byte
 zephyrpaws

Well, seems the person scheduled to fix my computer, called today to come a little sooner than I expected. Not that I'm complaining, but would've liked more of a chance to do some of the things I wanted to try and take care of before it was fixed. D:

So, he came today, and now it works all better again. So far, haven't had any problems with the mouse, keyboard is working again, and the Internet port (Ethernet, to be specific) is fixed as well, so now it's holding the cable with no probs at all!

Anyway, as I sort of implied above, didn't really get much of a chance to do some writing or any of the other things had hoped to do before getting fixed. :( But hey, at least I can do it on my own computer this week (hopefully) and once again, talk to my dear online friends that I know here on FA again. X3 And hopefully, this time, nothing bad will arise for some time, that I need to worry about. :D So yeah, great to be back, this time for a good while! And if all goes well, will be uploading something very soon! (Know I keep saying that, but if all goes well with a theory I have, I SHOULD have something done that I am proud to show soon. X3)

I swear, right now, I hate my computer SO much. I wanna smash it to bits, but that wouldn't be very good if I did, would it? Cause then, I wouldn't be able to do any writing if I so desired, or any of the other things I use it for nowadays. *wink* D:

Anyway, to my online/FA friends: sorry to do this so soon after getting my laptop back, but I'm going to have to get it fixed AGAIN. Since the Internet cable issue I mentioned last journal, discovered that there's an issue with the new built-in mouse, and at times, will only let me move up and down. o.o I manage to fix it with a good smack to the mousepad, though recently discovered, that isn't doing me much good, and have been making it worse probably. Since the other night, the mouse was malfunctioning more than normal. And it seems, in trying to fix it on my own yesterday (stupid idea), I made the keyboard not work yet AGAIN. XD Yeah... dunno what I was thinking, but was trying not to have to resort to this so soon. And don't really have a wireless mouse or keyboard (as I was told on the phone when talking to them again) to resort to for a bit.

So now, will get it fixed again, but good news: they're going to send someone here this time, so hopefully, will be able to get it fixed and working for a good while this time, before I have to do this again. D: But... will take a few days for them to get here, and call to set up an appointment. So hopefully, will have it up and working again (and finally fixed, this time) by mid-week at the earliest, and no more than the end of the week (meaning Friday), if all goes well. XD

I really am sorry to do this AGAIN to all my dear online friends here on FA, but this is something beyond my control. Though I could've exercised some self-control in my trying to fix it myself, as well as probably not hit it so hard to make it work again when it was only moving up and down. D:

Anyway, during my away time this time, I'll hopefully actually MANAGE to get some writing done, as well as maybe register for upcoming college semester on my end (if can find anything, since where I last attended has a week left for registering, if not closed already, though don't think so), and get a new mouse that I can attach to one of the USB ports on my computer, so won't have to solely rely on my built-in mouse, since I kind of broke my previous one some time back. XD Be back soon and sorrry AGAIN!

I have returned! Yep, that's right, I'm back and my computer is as good as new. All of the problems that were wrong with it before have been fixed. Although... there's one new problem that I am currently aware of. Seems that somehow, when they replaced the bottom half (cause it was faded due to how I sort of used it in the past with a wireless mouse), they messed up the Internet cable slot, and it won't exactly stay locked in, like it should. :( *shrugs* Guess I gotta get that fixed now, though I may wait a bit, as long as it doesn't inconvenience me TOO much. D:

Anyway, I gotta say though, I'm a LITTLE hurt, that no one seemed to care of my disappearence noted in my last journal enough to comment. :( Not trying to sound like a drama furry, but just thought someone would have, although could understand if not, due to thinking that wouldn't reply due to what I said there. ;P Not to mention how I've been sort of a bad friend to some of you in the recent months, but I'm gonna try to fix that ASAP.

Sadly, I don't have more good news, like I thought I would have upon my return. Didn't really do much writing during my absence from FA (though not as much absence as you might think); spent most of the time on my mom's computer reading and looking through FA stuff, as well as playing games on there and on my Wii that I've had for a while, but never got around to playing before. D:

But anyway, hopefully soon, I WILL have SOMEthing up eventually. I just need some good motivation to get me there first, though. We'll see though, just gotta be patient and I thank those of you still watching me and who've been patient as it is, looking for something from me (if any, due to me not being very active on FA for some time). XD Keep an eye out in the near future! :P

Sorry it's been so long since my last journal (which was just a meme). XD Anyway, I have good news and bad news.

First, the good news. Yes, I AM still alive and kicking. XD Have been meaning to let you all know that, but have been lazy in doing so. Also, apologies to those whose submissions of those who are watching me that I am watching back I haven't commented on. Been lazy with that too, don't seem to be making enough time for FA nowadays. XD But I will try and make more time in the near future.

Now for the bad news. I won't be on much in the next couple of weeks. My computer recently experienced some... problems, and now it needs to be sent in for repairs. It's had problems for a while, but nothing that I couldn't operate it without, until recently both the mouse and keyboard stopped functioning. So, it'll take a couple of business weeks before I can even check FA for new messages.

Now, I'm sure some of you are asking: "How are you letting us know this?" :D Well, I'm using a family member's laptop to quickly inform you of my status, so that those of you I talk with and whose work I check/read for, may know of my dilemma. But I'm not going to be on FA much, if at all, cause want to avoid being discovered of my secret porn habits.

But there is ANOTHER bit of good news, though. Hopefully, during this time away from my friends and FA (and maybe AGNPH, although that's not as big a problem, since mainly check for stories), I'll be able to get some writing done again. :) Have been wanting to lately, but been having some... other personal computer issues that have semi-prevented me from doing work like I want to. But anyway, if I can get enough in the mood and motivated, will use this computer when I can, to do some writing and save it on an external drive. First thing is probably one of the stories I owe and am writing for my good buddy  shippo.

So, anyway... keep an eye out in the near future, for a journal update to let you know when I am back and hopefully, inform you of some MORE good news. :D And will be back soon enough (hopefully, sooner and not later)! ;P

Oh, and before I forget, thanks all to the watchers who've watched me despite that there's nothing really in my gallery. XD But once again, should have something when my computer is back and fixed again. :)